☾ ——- ❝ ＥＬＹＳＩＵＭ ❞ — [ closed ]

[chase.]

𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐘xxxx ♛
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[ security ] [ he/him ] [ location - lounge ] [ feeling - like he’s gonna start crying too if he’s not careful ]

xxxxx

xxxxx Collie had asked maybe a hundred different times if someone was ‘okay.’ Out of those hundred times, he could count on one hand the times someone had actually answered truthfully and confessed that they were struggling. Most times it was easier to brush it off with a ‘yeah, ‘course man,’ or ‘yep, you?’. It took a lot of grit and courage to crack in front of another; especially a stranger. So even though he had asked, a weak confession had not been what he was expecting.

He was wholly unprepared for Coby’s proclamations, and he was left folding and unfolding the same blanket repeatedly in a feeble attempt at keeping his hands occupied as he listened. Captain blinked tiredly from where he was curled up on the sofa, and Collie’s gaze brushed over the shepherd as he recalled the sight of the scar Coby had showed him. Scars didn’t unsettle him, he had his own that tore through his arm from his accident, but the idea of what had caused it made his stomach churn uneasily. His dog had been taught to go for clothing, grab the arm or leg and simply pull an individual to the ground until they could be apprehended, and somewhere along the way it had slipped his mind that dogs did not share that same courtesy with one another. In a different circumstance he’d have laughed at the irony of the statement, but the air was thick with grief and seriousness, even Collie couldn’t muster a grin. Of course being able to shift into an animal wasn’t going to be all fun and games; animals still had predators and other dangers outside of humans—just because they had the conscience of a person did not mean they were going to be treated as such by other creatures.

He had folded the same blanket immaculately for the eighth time, unable to shake the need to put his hands to use. It wasn’t the same as cleaning a rifle or polishing his boots, but it was something, it kept him grounded enough to focus intently on Coby without getting distracted or losing himself in his own thoughts. If only Danny could see him now—for once giving his undivided attention to someone else as they spoke instead of accidentally tuning them out and writing it off. Occasionally he turned his head to look at her during the periods of silence, just to make sure she wasn’t waiting for him to do something, but each time she was simply staring at the floor. Tears continued to fall, some splashing against the floor and others caught in Coby’s hands as she wiped her face, and for a brief moment he considered moving to sit beside her. He remained rooted in place however, unfolding the same blanket for the ninth time. Maybe Mercer would appear through the doorway again, and offer Coby the familiar comfort that he couldn’t. The blonde had to gently bite his tongue a couple of times to avoid interrupting prematurely, Coby was just laying out her emotions bare for him to see and he didn’t want to take that away from her. As much as he hadn’t anticipated it, her words spilled out one after another, and the best he could do was to listen respectfully. Cutting her off might break her train of thought, and voicing her woes to someone else seemed to be something she desperately needed. He was certain he was not the first choice of audience, but he was all there was right now in the lounge—and he sure as hell was going to try his darndest to be useful.

Collie had been fortunate to be an only child in the system, unlike Coby. He had seen social workers and foster homes tear families apart in cold and calculated motions, claiming that it was for the betterment of the children involved. It never seemed to be, he had witnessed the fallout when a relationship was severed and the aftermath of a distraught teenager as they threw furniture at the walls and screamed the place down in the hopes someone would hear their grievance. Collie had made friends, sure he had, but he had grown up with it being the normal—people came and people went, that was just how it was, how it always had been. He got attached, then someone left, another took their place and he got attached all over again. For someone like him it was easy to move between friends, living life one day at a time. Hell, his longest-lasting friends had abandoned him at the scene of a crime, proving that they were very much not his friends after all. Collie sighed soundlessly, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to process everything. Coby and him might’ve grown up in the same environment, parentless and forced to turn into adults as kids, but it seemed they had developed vastly different ways of coping with it. Collie simply acted out, restless and spiteful with any authority, but he had nothing to lose unlike Coby did. It didn’t matter to him when he got kicked out of one group home and into another, he just started the whole gig all over again—he had no reason to try anything else. The only thing at stake for him was himself, and as much as the system tried—they could not tear Collie’s personality away from him. Having to watch out for a younger sibling must’ve been hellish when tomorrow wasn’t guaranteed, and it wasn’t something even Collie would ever truly be able to fathom in its entirety. He had nothing that could be taken away from him, it was a safety blanket that had followed him everywhere. Coby had her own flesh and blood to protect, and now Collie’s chip on his shoulder about having no parents seemed incredibly miniscule compared to the burden of having to navigate the world with no parents and the responsibility of a younger sibling.

His sympathy was washed over with confusion the more Coby spoke, not everything she was saying made sense to him—whether his mind was lapsing in concentration and muddling words together or whether Coby had spiralled into incoherency, he wasn’t sure. She spoke about Archie as if he was alive, how Mercer had gotten them out of the system before the siblings could be separated, but then she spoke about losing Archie. Had he been found out and taken back into the system? Collie took a second to look over Coby, if Archie was six years younger, he’d be over eighteen by now surely.

“It means having a lot of dead friends,”

Collie wasn’t sure what to say to that. He’d have expected that answer out of a fellow soldier, not a tearful woman living in the middle of nowhere. Was that her way of confirming that her brother had died? Or was it more than Josie they had lost? Collie’s mind whirled with unspoken questions, but he choked each one down politely—Coby had answered more than enough of his questions tonight, he could learn to manage with a few loose ends and vague ideas. If he survived tomorrow night, maybe then he would hunt for answers to paint a better picture.

Coby finished speaking, burying her face deeper into her hands as Collie finally set the blanket down for the final time. Bambi played over the speakers, and for a moment he watched it—barely registering what was actually happening as he took the moment to really digest everything he had just heard. Bambi stood up on wobbly legs, making odd noises at the rabbit whose name Collie had long since forgotten. Maybe this was also an insensitive choice of movie, and as the scene changed, Collie groaned internally at himself. In a different situation he would have laughed at how he managed to keep digging a deeper grave for himself, his shovel had tapped bedrock when he’d placed Briar right in the path of a feral wolf, and yet somehow he was now making his way through the damned earth’s mantle.

“Come on Bambi, get up, try again,”
“Come on, get up, get up. Get up Bambi, try again,”

Finally Collie tore his gaze away from the screen, and quietly moved to sit beside Coby. The sofa cushion sank under his weight, dipping slightly and sliding his leg to rest next to Coby’s. Slowly, as if concerned he’d spook her, he ghosted a hand over her back before committing to the gesture—rubbing a soothing circle over the fabric. He’d never wanted Danny more than right now—the lawyer was probably tenfold better with words and would offer more comfort than he ever could. “You did what you had to, to give Archie a chance, even if it meant asking him to be someone else. That came from love, Coby, from wanting the best for him and for trying to navigate a really nasty world. You shouldn’t blame yourself for that, we can only make decisions with what we know and you did the best with what you were given.” He murmured, “I don’t know any siblings who made it through the system intact, you kept him with you all those years and they can’t take that away from you.”

There was a pause of silence, filled by a dramatic score as Bambi ran through a storm. “People like us don’t usually get the luxury of a childhood, but it sounds like you gave Archie the best chance at one. I’m sorry you had to sacrifice yours for it, but I know how grateful I woulda been for an older sister,” It was hard to offer consolation when he didn’t know Coby’s circumstances—there was every possibility there were group homes for people with her..abilities, and Collie hadn’t the faintest clue of how they were run. It felt abysmally wrong to say ‘accidents happen,’ but Collie’s view on death was disjointed and a little numbed after so many years in the military. Josie hadn’t been killed out of malice for what she was, she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time—and whilst that might’ve offered Collie some comfort if he was in Coby’s place, he knew better than to try and justify that train of thought.

Gently he retracted his hand from her back, and he lent forwards on his elbows, leaning his cheek against his knuckles as he watched Coby with a warm look. “Have you ever had a chance to live for yourself, or have you just been living for everyone else?” He asked gently, not sure if it was rhetorical or not. “You gave me and my friends a chance back there, you’ve invited me into your home, apologised for Mercer, you grew up raising your brother, and I’m getting the vibe that you have authority around here.” Collie sighed softly, blinking at her. “Who’s looking after you?” Mercer didn’t count, he had decided that on his own—they were exes and surely that had happened for a reason.

Without thinking he leant over. Wrapping an arm around her and pulling her against his chest. His rib flared angrily for a second, but the pain was dull and numbed, so Collie easily ignored it. The hug was loose and weak—he wanted to give Coby every chance to push him away if she didn’t want the physical contact; but the offer was there. “Have you got somewhere else to sleep tonight, or someone that can stay with you?” He asked softly. He could worry about what the hell was going to happen to him tomorrow, later. If Collie was too much of a security risk then his fate was pretty much sealed, he was brazen and cocky but when faced with wolves and god knows what else, he knew his chances of gaining the upper hand were slim to none. He would make the most with what he had right now, and when Soren appeared then they could try and work out what their options were. But for now, Coby was grieving the loss of her friend and the apparent safety of her home, and all Collie could offer was a shoulder to cry on.

[ inventory : n/a ]

[ tags, coby] [ mentions, mercer, soren, danny ]

[kalo.]

│███ 𝚁𝚎𝚢𝚗𝚊 𝙵𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚜 . . . <3
─────────────────────────── [ wolverine shifter ] [ mentions neil, rio ] [ tagged court, vic, danny ]

indentindentReyna felt her whole world slowly tipping upside down. There was no way Danny was walking toward her. There was no way he was embracing her. There was no way he was uttering the word funeral in front of Court and Vic. She couldn't gauge Courtney's reaction as well, but judging by the way she lowered her antlers and turned toward Danny in a defensive manner told Reyna everything. She was cautious of the man, and in turn, she was cautious of Reyna. It was obvious the two shared some bond, and that only complicated things. She hadn't told anyone about her past life. She littered some white lies here and there and basically saved herself from explaining her entirely complicated past. Now it seemed like everything was going to come crashing down and bite her in the butt. How was she to talk her way out of this one?

indentindentIt seemed like an impossible mountain to climb, and Reyna was worried that everyone would turn against her because of it. That she would be ostracized and exiled from the only semblance of a family she came to love. It sent sirens off in her head. If they were going to kick her out because of her past, then why would she let them? She'd leave before they even got the chance too. She had a few items always packed away in her backpack because of emergencies. She'd escape out the minute everyone went off to sleep. They wouldn't even know, and if someone did find out, like Neil, she'd bribe him or try to outrun him. She knew if she got stuck with someone fast like Neil all she would need to do is outrun him. He would only have two choices; follow Reyna but not let anyone know and therefore be unable to have backup, or tell the others but by the time they'd go out again she'd be long gone. Yeah. This could work.

indentindentBut she had to try and salvage the situation now. How? She didn't know. She felt her whole body tremble as the stress started to pile up. But no, she couldn't let them see that now. She needed to stay strong for just a little while longer so nobody could judge and see that she was one wrong word from running.

indentindentShe couldn't help but wrap her arms around Danny as he had done to her. It felt... comfortable. It felt like home, but Reyna knew he wasn't home anymore. Rio was. Courtney was. Coby was. Everyone here was her home, and Danny was her past. A past home she tried so hard to forget. A past home she spent countless years crying over. Screaming over. Nobody here knew of her situation, but Danny did. And that made him a threat.

indentindent"Danny... I... I've been here! At this cabin, with my..." The word family died on her lips. Could she use that word in front of him? She feared he'd react negatively and spill all of her secrets to everyone; and while everyone was just Courtney and Vic at the time it still meant they'd know. She didn't want them to know. But the way Courtney kept a defensive position meant she was going to stay here until she got an answer. She knew Courtney wasn't stupid, and the older woman was already suspicious of her, but she just hoped and prayed this whole situation would go over everyone's heads. "My family."

indentindentReyna couldn't lie. She wanted these people to know that this was her family. Her pack. Lying about them would only create more issues. She knew the repercussions of lying, she had watched firsthand the man she thought she loved lie to her and nearly destroy her life. She was lucky she was alive, and some days that humbled her. She would take stupid risks, and this was one of them. Trusting Danny with some information that could send her running away.

indentindentShe cleared her throat as she took a step back from Danny, and in a brief moment she turned away to wipe at her eyes. She knew they all saw it [well maybe not Danny, he seemed to not be able to see at all. Which was fortunate for Reyna, she could at least try and hide some more things] "This is our cabin. Um, we stay here. Live here. I... I didn't think I'd ever see you again." Her throat started to close up again knowing Danny thought she was dead. The word funeral came back into her head and she kept trying to blink away from tears. Tears that would not shed, no, she was stronger than that. She'd make it out of this without crying and without any anger and then she'd pack her bags and leave.

indentindentIt didn't stop the guilt from consuming her though. She felt the weight on her shoulders knowing she'd leave and never be able to tell everyone just what they meant to her.

indentindentReyna felt like she knew Danny well enough, so she decided to speak ahead of him. To answer his question before he asked. "I'm not leaving. This is my home now. I..." She risked a glance at Courtney and Vic and prayed that they'd just ignore what she was saying. "I don't know how you got here, or how God has planned this but I'm not... I'm staying here. I'm not like you, I'm not like everyone else at home. These are my people, I'm staying here."

indentindentShe could see the change in Danny's expression, and the fear was already weighing down on her. She messed up. She should've kept her mouth shut. She should've run away when she had first saw him. She closed her eyes rather forcibly and shook her head again.

indentindentHer hand rose immediately toward Courtney, "Courtney please back off. He's not going to hurt you or me. Or anyone here. Just. You have to trust me right now, I know you're... I know you...I... Just please. For me?" She shot Courtney a pleading look before she brought her gaze back to Danny.

indentindentShe just wanted to go back to her room. She wanted to curl up into a ball under her mess of thrifted blanket and just cry. To cry and try and regulate the overwhelming emotions. Her past came flying back up in her head and she felt herself flinch as the memories and the guilt resurfaced. She needed a way out. She needed air, the air around here was too heavy. It was thick and she couldn't breathe. But she wouldn't let them know that; her breathing stayed as soft as it could, but inside she felt as if she was burning.

indentindentEveryone here would be disappointed. She knew that. She knew Rio wouldn't like any of this if he found out, and Reyna had tried so hard to keep everything hidden from him. The last thing she wanted was to disappoint him... he was the one person who took her under his wing [literally] and made sure she could just be herself. How would he feel? Would he hate her? Would he tell her to pack up and leave?

indentindentThe thoughts started to become too much and she couldn't help but fidget with her fingers. Twitching them and moving them along the bottom of her torn-up t-shirt. Her throat felt dry as she quietly squeaked out one last word to Danny, "please don't be mad..."

[guh-huh!]

❛xＦＥＬＩＸ　！
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xxmale // tech wiz // feeling: sleepy guy down!!! // tagged: the three friends!!
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xx'xxreally, it's remarkable that felix hasn't completely blacked out at this point. he's tired, seen too many things that were only meant to be in movies or twitter threads made by conspiracy theorists, and now felix has gone and made himself look pathetic in front of the people he wants to impress the most. seriously; the only way it could get worse is if danny or his father would come in and take turns making fun of how his nose is running and his eyebags have almost doubled in size.

xx'xxhe doesn't cry, much after that though. doesn't make a sound when salem sets the fracture, even though it hurts so terribly much that everything briefly disappears in a cloud of red sparks. he just sits there, feeling a little strange from the pain relief, letting the medic wrap cold clinging plaster bandages around his useless arm. the lights are hurting his eyes; he wishes it were darker. felix wishes they could infuse sleep into his brain like the medication he's given.

xx'xxit's probably about the same strength of the meds he got when he got his wisdom teeth out back a few years ago– which is enough to get him out of the agonizing pain state, but probably not enough to lull him to sleep unless collie hits hits him with an even heavier object than– well, collie himself. it's not a pleasant thought, one his body is desperately trying to reject as he starts to stabilize his breathing.

xx'xxhis left hand, coordinated enough to hold a snickers bar or type on one side of the keyboard, feels extremely awkward and impossible to use. felix, instinctively, puts down the flimsy water bottle that salem handed him before storming out and reaches for the medication. only to realize that his non-dominant hand actually can't even figure out how to break the child-proof lock. he sits there for what feels like ages, thumb and forefinger somehow stunted in progression as he fumbles to hold down the tab and shift the cap to the side. and yeah, he feels incredibly stupid for failing a coordination test meant to keep out babies for eating too many flintstones vitamins.

xx'xx“this sucks,” he chokes out, letting himself give up and pass the medication to eva. he tries to make some more words fit together, but the more drew and eva talk at him, asks him how he feels, implores him to say something, the more distant from everyone he feels. "i could use the help opening those, and we should also give a few to briar. you guys also might want a few, y'know, for everything."

xx'xxdrew, for as much as his presence comforts felix– he feels guilty. he handles felix like he's afraid he'll shatter under his touch: keeps looking at him in these short, worried little glances, as if he's afraid he's going to break down even more. but now he has felix against him, his arm wrapped around the middle of his back, and it seems like he’s okay with whatever is happening now. even if felix is leaving wet tear tracks down the back of his shirt.

xx'xxthere is an unpleasant, brackish tinge of guilt to his expression, and felix is too dazed to really feel much in response to it, but if he could he would feel vexed: 'this isn't your fault, it's not my fault, hell– it's not even briar's fault. it's nobody's fault, we should all just accept this is what happened and leave whenever we can.'

xx'xxwould these guys even let them leave? they hadn't tied them up and left them in the woods to be eaten by wolves, so he assumes whoever is running this place would let them get back to their normal lives. or, at the very least felix hopes they'd give him the power to go home and take care of his cat. they might not take mercy on him, but he just really hopes that the group can take his cat from his apartment and tip the petsitter well in his absence.

xx'xxnow sitting with his head buried in drew's shoulder, left with an aftermath of puffy eyes and a wrapped up arm, felix feels incredibly tired.

xx'xx"i don't think the medic wants to or is coming back," felix mutters, voice muffled by the press of his face into drew's jacket. he lifts his head, tiredly, exceedingly done with the night, to speak again. "we should find a place to crash. i'm like, two seconds from falling asleep on drew right now, and i don't think he can carry me out. "

[n ‎]

❝ 𝗦𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗠 𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗚🡖 ꏢ ❟❟
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''│
mr medic| he/they | (@) boathouse '''i
tags; rio </3 |mentions; soren, reyna

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indentthe sudden movement from rio didn't surprise the medic- if anything, he was more shocked he had been able to to hold rio for as long as he did for the short moment. salem anticipating the shove a few moments before it set into action, only a huff of air coming from his nose as he let himself pull back from the raven shifter's figure- his hands only slipping from rio's figure along with him to gentle fall to his sides. with his hand on his jaw salem only kept his eyes upwards towards the darkened night sky, breathing wobbly as he tried desperately to pull deep breaths through the anchor of a knot in his throat, dragging itself down painfully with every exhale. he stood still while rio examined him down, his eyes to the sky trying desperately to focus on a familiar red star in a sad attempt of grounding in any form, his teeth gritting against each other as his breathing only sharpened with the tears spilling easily with every blink. he tried to keep his vision clear consistently to look up at the sky, but the familiar feeling of nausea only kept refilling his eyes with tears, making the desperate attempt unnecessarily difficult.

indenthis jaw was clenched together almost painfully, feeling his molars tightly compressed against each other in the back of his mouth. the desperate want to rip at his throat to pull the knot out of his pharynx was only growing stronger as he stood patiently in front of the male - his breathing getting more irregular as the nausea only set in further into his stomach and guts. his fingernails were back into the familiar groove he had been digging into his palm before, desperate to redirect the attention and even somehow pain to somewhere else on his body, somewhere fixable.

indentthe feeling of rio's hand on salem's jaw fleeting, salem let his eyes drop back down towards him again, tears dripping from his eyes shamelessly. the feeling in his chest was burning deeper than any feeling he could remember, taking in deep and painful breaths to try and keep himself together. try and not let the thredding of his body start unraveling at the seams. it felt like his breath had left with rio's hand when he had finally fully retracted it from salem's jaw, his head hanging lightly as his chest deflated from the absence of his touch. his body felt tired and overwhelmed, a familiar feeling unwelcomed.

indenthe wasn't sure if the blur in his vision was coming from solely his tears or the feeling of going in slow motion- rio pulling salem back into the embrace opening something in salem's chest that he wasn't sure he was ready for. it wasn't unwanted- no, no salem felt like he needed it- no matter how desperately he had wanted to scream what he needed, how badly he wanted to scratch at his neck and throat to force the words, the begging words to come out of his mouth, the lump in his throat felt like more than just a block for breathing properly. salem let his arms wrap around rio's torso quickly, a heavy and desperate breath huffing from salem's mouth as he closes his eyes against rio's collarbone. he moved closer again, his arms shaking hard in desperation to fight back the tight hold, keeping his arms light around rio in worry he'd hold too tight- scare him off. salem held his head close to rio's neck, hiccups in his hard cries every time rio had thredded his hands through his hair differently.

indenthis ribs were tight in his chest, tight enough it felt constricting on every part of his body. it was painful, the reaction and feeling of mourning was agonizing in his body. it was another nightmare come true- the loss of another feeling deep in his guts; it was swimming and stirring. almost every part of him wanted to let himself fall apart in rio's arms- to let the knot in his throat come out in violent waves, let his body quit on him; yet at the same time to stop restraining his hold on rio and to hold him so tightly that the memory and feeling of rio's frame in his arms would permanently mold into his body.

indentbut he wasn't going to let himself. he couldn't let himself fall apart. no matter how badly he wanted to feel it, no matter how badly wanted to open himself up to pull out the terrible feelings forcibly with his own bare hands, he knew that at that moment he wasn't allowed to. whether it was that stupid promise he almost got to make officially years ago and decided to live by still forward or the promise he only recently had committed to reyna silently. he couldn't let himself falter when there were people who needed his skills, the skills that were unfortunately sparce in the area. the nausea in salem's stomach he could only wish was fleeting, the feeling only growing in intensity as time continued to move forward.

indenthe wasn't alright, no. he wasn't alright, he wasn't okay- he was far from it. the excruciating pain coming from his heart mixing with the nausea was only spreading over his torso, his legs beginning to feel weak under his own body. he was beginning to lose trust in his own ability to keep himself up, transient moments of doubt cycling throughout his mind frequently. he couldn't say anything to it, however. it felt wrong to fight something as simple as an attempt of comfort- especially coming from someone salem was seeking out for solace of any sort. as he felt the hot breath of his own mouth as he cried into rio's neck warm up his own face again. he was beginning to feel almost a little embarrassed, too.

indenta pathetic attempt to speak- salem let out a quick but broken sob when he opened his face to reply the first time, moving to press his forehead against the crook of rio's neck as he bit his lip tightly to swallow in his throat again. "mercer needs a proper leash. a real damn leash," salem muttered spitefully, his breathing shaky and uncertain as he let himself lean into him again. "why are they here?" the question presented more emotionally than salem was preparing himself for, his voice cracking with a painful break.

indentmaybe it was a good thing rio had pulled away when he did, the feeling of embarrassment was beginning to warm up salem's face along with the tears and emotional blush already painting his pale cheeks. he wanted the embrace to last longer, he wanted the warmth and safety to stay with him longer, but he knew the wish unrealistic. especially with the current situation he had left back in his own cabin. he could only sigh with disappointment. disappointment with himself. he tried again to swallow the deep and large knot in his throat as rio spoke again, salem letting out almost an amused huff in return. "i'd inform you..." he began, before letting a heavier sigh interrupt his words. with the mention of them speaking out of line salem could only huff at the familiar image of the blonde he remembered had a few choice words with salem's exit.

indentsalem had felt disappointment in himself for the situation, for leaving and for letting them see him cry in the first place. not only was he unable to see straight on the things he was working on but he was unprofessional. it felt a bit humiliating to think back on- but the annoyance bubbling from the blonde only returned with. the audacity, is what he liked to think. "some.." salem began, his lips left open as he let his eyes wander over rio's face quickly, trying to read his expression as he continued onward. "some are maybe too emotional to be speaking to me," he mumbled, his eyes dropping from rio's face down to his own sneakers. "i don't know who they were before, but he's unfamiliar with his place here," he whispered, his voice trailing off to almost inaudible as he finished off.

indentrio's next words felt like a punch in the stomach. god how he wished he didn't have to help them. how he wished he could go back into his room to go to sleep for a few days, to go and pretend nothing was real anymore. how he wished he could leave them to rot and turn into dust for taking away someone he loved from him so brutally and violently, and to expect his patience and willingness at the early mornings. it was like he had no idea what they had done- he had no idea who they had taken from him, from them. yet as much as salem wanted to leave them, as much as he could justify to himself- the dreadful feeling in his gut if he had left them was nothing more than devastating. it was permanent, it was painful. it was bordering torturous. no matter how badly he wanted to reach past the bones in his own ribcage to grab out his heart and hold it tenderly in his own arms to mourn and take care of himself, the indirect promises he had made were nailing him down.

indentsure, they stole someone he loved so dearly from him. took her from his hands without so much of a warning and any possible goodbyes. yet the idea of letting more innocent people falter, the idea of the same dreadful feeling eating up at his stomach and eating him alive being shared throughout because he wouldn't help would be blood on his hands. blood on his hands he wasn't willing to let stain yet. he needed to get it together. he needed to pull through, he needed to get his head up. no matter how badly he wanted to defy the feelings and the humans, he couldn't convince himself the guilt would be washed away eventually.

indentanother hard sigh came deep from the bottom of his lungs again. oh how he felt shameful to ask for anything in that moment anymore. salem couldn't fight the feeling and fear of burdening the pack if he had denied the medical help to the humans they were requesting. if he had helped them quickly, it would get them out of their hair and they could find a way to move forward. if salem was too busy needing anything god, it would only take more time to get them out of here. he needed them gone.

indentwhat salem required he felt out of reach. his heart was shattering in his body, he could feel the glass shards of his broken organ littering the insides of his body as he let one hand draw fully away from rio to hold his own stomach defensively. by god how sick he felt. "no-.. no, no," he sighed out, his eyes dropping to rio's shoulders sadly, letting his gaze rest there. "i,..no. i have to do this. they need to leave. i ... i can't let there be blood on my hands," his shoulders dropped along with his expression, the tears that had only stopped momentarily began to dribble down off his face again. his hands were beginning to feel numb and weak. "i don't know how many are injured. i'm exhausted, i don't know what else there is to do other than see them all and.." salem let his head hang fully this time. he wasn't sure if it was out of shame or out of sadness, the words getting caught up easily in his throat. it was hell trying to even ask for more verbal sanction, so he gave up trying.

indent"can you just walk with me back?" he managed to ask lastly, through exhausted breaths. at least.

[chase.]

𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 xxxx ♛
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[ raven ] [ he/him ] [ location - outside boathouse > outside medic shed ] [ feeling - like he’s missing something— ]

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxRio stood silently, feeling the chafing irritation rub and gnaw at him—not because of Salem, but because of the individuals who had had this effect on the medic. Human’s and their ilk, with seemingly some assistance from Mercer if the spiteful comment had been anything to go by, had forced Salem to a mess of tears. Rio gritted his teeth. The implication that Mercer had been the one to break the news unfortunately barely surprised him, he had hoped Coby would have done it, if not himself—but the wolf seemed adept at sinking his teeth where they did not belong. Whether he had done it to save Coby the burden, or whether he had done it out of his mercurial temperament, did not matter much to Rio. The wolf was fickle, and any forgiveness Rio had considered granting him after seeing that he had been delicate with Josie, fled at the state of Salem. Mercer’s one saving grace was his willingness to do what needed to be done, in most cases at least.

Rio ran a red-stained hand over his face, breathing a soft sigh into the air and watching as his warm breath condensed in the cold. Everyone had gone soft bellied, and whilst Mercer had been the one to first condemn them to this fate, Rio had suspicions that Reyna would have also shown her hand regardless; not that he would admit that to anyone. He could brand Mercer with the searing blame of damning them all, but given the recklessness he had come to tolerate from the rest of the pack, someone else would have done the same thing sooner or later. At least Mercer had the rugged grit and flex in morals to do what needed to be done, and Rio couldn’t deny the man’s necessity no matter how much he wished to. With a cabin-full of naive dreamers, there needed to be realists who kept the balance in check, and if Mercer was a useful tool to help ensure the safety of the pack, then Rio would grant him that small margin of extra leeway. Despite his rather glaring flaws, Mercer was someone who Rio valued more than he would verbally admit. His malevolence when turned inwards towards the pack was not well-tolerated by Rio, but he had been the one person Rio trusted to effectively sabotage the one means of transport—and that spoke volumes. He did not have to hold the wolf in a high regard to see his blatant value in times like this.

Rio broke from his reverie when Salem answered his last question, and although his expression didn’t portray it, there was a twinge guilt in the pit of his stomach. Salem needed the humans to leave. Rio wasn’t going to let that happen. The best he could do was get them out of the medic shed, but then he was only going to send them straight to the same building that the fox slept in. That felt like a betrayal and a half.

“I can’t let there be blood on my hands,”

Salem hadn’t meant it as any sort of jab, Rio knew that, but still the comment made him glance at his own hands. The pale skin was still dark and crimson with the dried liquid, it cracked in places as he flexed his knuckles, small slithers of white peeking out from underneath. Rio would cover his hands in as much blood as needed to keep Salem’s clean, but he also knew that was not what the medic wanted, nor was what he was implying. Ravens were an omen of ill-fortune and bad luck, associated with death due to their carrion-eating behaviour. Rio did not put much stock in the superstitions of humans, but for once he wondered if they might just have a point. One is an occurrence, two is a coincidence, three is a pattern. What did the death of seven individuals close to Rio, years apart, mean? He wondered if he should send Andi back home, back to the safety of her parents on an entirely different continent. The raven brushed his gaze across Salem’s face, and suddenly Rio no longer believed that the safest place for the fox was by his side.

Rio took a step backwards, schooling his expression back into regal indifference. He tilted his chin upwards slightly, looking at Salem for a moment before giving the subtlest incline of his head. “I can do that,” He agreed quietly. It was about time he returned to the fray. Perhaps he should’ve warned Salem that he had no intention of letting the trespassers leave, but he snuffed out that idea as soon as it licked at his thoughts. He cared for the medic a great deal, but that did not mean he should let his emotions dictate his actions; Salem would be treated like everyone else. Rio glanced at the sky, as if the star-studded blanket would be able to offer any wisdom. He needed to speak to Coby before anyone, about what the fate of the humans would be. If she was intent on not allowing Rio to put them beneath the dirt to join Josie, then she would be spending the night discussing feasible alternatives with him.

A soundless exhale passed through his nose, and he turned away from the fox—attempting to forget the image of the medic sobbing against him. Emotions Rio had long forgotten brushed against the back of his neck, and he bristled under the weight of them. His jaw ticked, but he refused to risk debasing his authority for one man, and no matter how much he cared for Salem, his duty came first.

“If you have not already, do not tell them what you are.” Rio murmured, his monotonous voice low and flat. “Between them they are aware of Mercer, Coby and Reyna’s shifts. I have no doubt they will talk amongst themselves as soon as they are unsupervised.” It was easy, to slip back into his usual aloof countenance. Whatever heat that had traitorously burned his chest from Salem’s desperate bid for affection was flickering out, embers dimming with each step Rio took away from the boathouse and towards the clearing. ’Tonight is not the night for such a trivial matter,’ Rio obstinately declared to himself. Salem was a part of the pack, now the longest staying member with Josie dead, and with the exception of his sister—it was rational to feel an additional flare of protectiveness over the medic. It did not have to mean anything that Rio wasn’t prepared for it to mean. The more Rio told himself that, the easier it was to write off the interaction as nothing more than a moment of impulsive weakness. The grief over Josie causing a lapse in judgement. Rio would just have to direct Salem back towards Nish and that would be the end of it; no need to dig for a meaning that was not there.

“Unless they are facing death, whatever treatments they need can wait until sunrise.” Rio murmured after a moment of silence, staying a step in front of the blonde as they walked. Remaining by Salem’s side felt too telling after what had just occurred, and the leader desperately needed that little inch of control by keeping a position of subtle authority. The humans did not deserve to gain a fraction of an idea of Rio’s affection towards his pack, he would give them nothing that could be held against his throat at a later date.

As the trees parted, Rio mulled over his words. “If they are not dying, they do not need your aid whatsoever,” he amended, “They are unwanted, and they will be treated as such.” Maybe it was harsh to ask a healer to forgo giving treatment to anyone suffering. The raven was losing his sense of what was fair and just, he was surrounded by too many individuals sympathetic to another’s plight and it was grating on him. Muscles tensed beneath his skin and he curled and uncurled his stained fists to keep his stoic composure intact.

Three figures stood outside Salem’s shed, and Rio raised his chin in lofty disdain. “If you are well enough to stand, you are unwelcome here,” The raven called lowly as he walked towards them, uncaring as to if he was interrupting a conversation. They would adjust for him, he would not degrade himself by expecting otherwise.

“Rio!”

Rio’s step faltered in faintly veiled surprise as Andi turned to face him—his sister far too close to the strangers for his liking. There was a pause as he narrowed his eyes at them—the ghost of a sneer sketching onto his face as he prepared to speak again, but as he drew close enough to see their faces clearly, a weight crashed into him.

Rio grunted softly as Andi’s arms wrapped around him, unlike Salem she had no reservation about clinging to Rio as tightly as she could. She buried her face into his shoulder and he was left holding his forearms up awkwardly to avoid spreading Josie’s blood onto her. His plan to remain impassive towards Salem to maintain privacy in front of the humans had been blown straight out of the water by his sister who, with reckless abandon, put their bond on display for both Soren and Briar.

He stared over her head, only lightly resting his jaw against her hair in a reassuring touch as he glared towards the other two spectators. There was an unspoken tension in the air, and Rio glanced sideways towards Salem in a soundless question, before briefly at Briar and then straight back towards Soren. There were the tiniest pinpricks of crimson on his chest, needle small holes spread equal distance apart in the fabric.

He pinned an accusatory look at the broad-shouldered man, “What happened?” His words were not quite a growl, his voice too level, but a faint air of vexation bled through the syllables and as Rio moved to step out of Andi’s embrace, she stiffened and tightened her grip on him, digging her heels childishly into the ground as he attempted to step around her.

[ inventory : n/a ]

[ tags, salem > salem, andi, briar, soren ] [ mentions, mercer, coby, reyna, nish ]

[друг]

❝ watching the weather in the 4x4, with the headlights onxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxyou look pretty when you cry, and pretty when you don’t

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tagging; collie
mentioned; rio, nish
location; main cabin/lounge
twenty-five x⋅x cisfemale, she/her x⋅x dog

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The shame of being seen in such an emotionally raw state bored a hole in Coby's chest, one which she attempted to cover by hunching over herself, becoming smaller and smaller on her perch at the edge of the couch cushion. If having had years to accumulate such pain and become familiar with it, as if it were a muscle one exercised, had still left it so hard to bear, then it was anything but fair to unravel it all onto someone else in a matter of minutes. She feared that she was undeservedly carving wounds that mirrored her own into Collie, especially as the silence stretched in the wake of her cascading confession, and the small, timid animal barely contained within herself entreated her to apologise and withdraw before she could worsen the damage. The words stitched themselves together on the tip of her wounded tongue: I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. Please forget it. Forget what you saw. It's not your burden. Each second that ticked by stung like another nick from a blade, and the apology grew stuck behind her teeth. She should have been old friends with uncertainty, with the absence of closure, yet the more she experienced it, the weaker she seemed to be at its feet, driven from defending herself to groveling. A position of responsibility within the pack had promised her meaning and self-respect, but more and more often she was left feeling humiliated by her own choices.

indentindentThere was a discreet rustle of fabric placed against the couch cushions, arising like the backs of black shoals amid the steady tides of noise coming from the television. It was a surprisingly overwhelming soundscape, even with the deafening quiet of the rest of the cabin enveloping them, and Coby was glad that her teary eyes remained closed in the darkness of her hands, because every nerve felt exposed, stripped open to its core. So this was what it was like, to unleash years of buried pain in a single uncontrolled wave because the toll of keeping it all contained had grown to be too much. The dam had broken. It was tactless to have allowed someone else to be caught in the drowning waters, and maybe it would have been more befitting for someone in her position to have let it all go by screaming alone at her bedroom walls. But she was a coward, incapable of facing that solitude, and so she had dragged him into it.

indentindentCollie proved himself even more merciful than Coby had already understood him to be. The cushion shifted, and unlike she had expected, she did not startle at the presence of another body — warm and steadying. She couldn't keep herself from leaning towards it, gradually, like a flower to the sun rising at dawn. A solid hand tenderly placed itself between her shoulder blades, and the weight of it was grounding. She tried to focus on the way it moved across her back, a repeating pattern, in the place of the tangle of noise that filled her head with threats and fears. His low voice returned, speaking closer now than she had heard it yet, and at first she feared that she had not been understood, but it was knee-jerk reaction, a fear of accepting the comfort that was being offered. She shouldn't have demanded it of anyone to understand, when she was tired, distraught, utterly incapable of stopping herself from crying, and thus in no state to explain, but he had listened nonetheless — not only listened, but done his best to cut through the mess of her words and interpret what lay at the heart of it. No one had ever said anything quite like it to her, taken the time to acknowledge what she had gone through and told her that she had tried her best, done all she could. She attempted to suppress the quiet sob that tore at her shoulders — she was no longer crying solely from exhaustion and grief, but the consolation arising to wash over all of it. The pain had demanded not only to be felt, but heard. Maybe this was what it was like to receive some manner of absolution.

indentindentDeprived of anyone else to whom she could have bled out the sore blood from her heart in this way, Collie had faced it all with courage. Had he ran, slipped from the lounge without a word, Coby wouldn't have blamed him. She felt inappropriately attached to him, a near-stranger who she should have by all means feared, or maybe loathed, the way some of the others on the road clearly had. Maybe he did think that she was crazy, or worse, but at least she felt a little less burdened, a little less like the sole pillar holding up the whole of the world, than she had been before her outpouring of misery. If only one last secret hadn't sat so heavy atop her heart, yet it wasn't hers to share — it concerned the future of the entire pack. She might as well have been holding a knife to Collie's ribs, and in spite of it, how easily had she yielded to the first sign of solace offered. How cold she had still been without knowing it. Had anyone happened to walk through the doorway at that moment, she understood how incriminating it could have seemed, and what the consequences might have been to being found in one of the humans' arms as if she had known him longer than any of them, but she was too tired, too lost in a semblance of safety, to move. It had been tentative at first, as if asking her for permission to make itself known, but then she had felt safe — safe and protected, in the arms of a stranger. If he were to hurt her now, she would not have minded. It was peaceful, in spite of the soreness that climbed up her throat, and the aftershocks of the sobs still shaking her body. It wouldn't have been a terrible way to go.

indentindentCoby missed the hand when it was removed. She could have used its mysterious steadying power when he posed the question that seemed to scrape against her sternum as it sank down. “Who’s looking after you?” She had no answer. Two years she had known many of those in the pack, some less, and of course she adored them, her family — but how many of them had she truly opened her heart to, the way she had to Collie, in a matter of — what, hours? Less? The night felt interminable as she glanced back at it. Rio she trusted and respected, and considered a friend, but he kept himself emotionally distant from many things. Nish and her watched Gilmore Girls together. Mercer had broken her heart. Archie wasn't there, no matter how tangible his presence felt in everything she did. Josie was dead, now. When Collie drew her back into his arms, she went without hesitation, sinking into his solid embrace, and curling against his chest as if asking him to hold her tighter. Under everything he must have picked up over the long night, and probably long day, there was a scent that seemed natural to him: fresh and inviting. It surrounded her, pleasant and secure, and she longed, shamefully, to remain there.

indentindentAlmost without noticing, she had calmed. The tears had stopped, and she had ceased hiding her face in favour of wrapping her arms around herself as Collie held her. She languished in his strength. The awful vice around her throat had eased its grip. All that remained were the aching of every muscle in her body, and the tiredness that pushed down on her eyelids. If only she could have eased his mind, said that she was cared for, that there was someone, somewhere, she could go to, but the truth was that the only place was there, beside him, and it was fleeting.
indentindentindent"No, there's no one," she answered him, her voice barely above a breath. It should have made her sadder than it did then, with the solid bulwark of his arms sheltering her. The soft noises kept playing from the television, but she wasn't watching the screen, her eyes already half-closed. She didn't know why he hadn't turned it off, but now it was beginning to lull her to sleep. Somehow familiar, distant. If she'd close her eyes for just a moment...

[Foe Paw]

[ 𝘿𝘼𝙉𝙄𝙇𝙊 𝘿𝙄𝘼𝙎 ] ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

[ leader— he/him — 39 ] [ location — storage barn ] [tagged — courtney, vic, reyna ]

xxxxThis - it painted a picture. Had she been here all along, in this vast empty land? How did she come to be here? Who convinced her she had to exile herself from the rest of the world, so Danny knew who he had to have a talk with? ... Were they in contact with her before she left?

xxxxThere was a poisonous little theory climbing into the forefront of his brain, fishing out details to fit into its puzzle. If she was talking to these people in whose house she eventually went to live in beforehand. If they were the source for this idea of hers, that she didn't fit. Someone, or something, convinced Reyna she couldn't stay home. And then, that they were the only family she had.

xxxx"Bud, whatever it is, we can take care of it. I promise you, whatever they told you that makes you think you don't belong is a gross lie. there's nothing about you that means your family- your real-" He shot a glance at the other woman, about to her form hidden behind the reindeer, but his eye was drawn to the animal as it started to huff and rear. It was going to charge, like he thought it. would "-family... won't..."

xxxxThe argument lost the wind on its sails, as he tried to keep an eye on the herbivore and realizing this was how he was going to die, run through in the middle of a forest, stranded. He was pinned in place - he'd come too close to a wild thing, and it was reacting like it naturally would to a presence that didn't belong here. Maybe it would let him back away, but Reyna was right there. For all that the animal seemed to, for now, focus on him more. Maybe because he was the stranger and whoever had the brilliant idea to let their domesticated reindeer loose had at least bothered to inure Reyna to it. Still, It only took an errant swing of that crown of antlers to catch her, and that was worse than being attacked himself.

xxxxHe rallied, keeping an eye on the thing, ready to move away as it came to gore him or towards, if it happened to decide Reyna was a better target in the first place. He stepped a bit to the side, trying to position himself between the furious animal and her. Scared to death. And Reyna still wasn't moving.

xxxx"It's good that they took you in, I'd hate to hear you'd been alone this whole time-" if that was true was yet to be seen, because the image of her being groomed into leaving them still sat in his mind. "-but- whatever they’ve been telling you about not fitting in, or not belonging, your family will be nothing but elated to hear you're alive. Alright? There's nothing about you that can make them stop loving you. If they made up something about, I don’t know - who you love, or anything - … God. Please- let's step away carefully, alright? That thing is dangerous.”

xxxxThe priority had to get away from the dangerous animal, but Reyna - he could see a stubborn set to her from the corner of his eye. And of course, she didn't seem to be afraid of the reindeer, even tried to call it off, and his urgency grew as he faced off against the inscrutable threat readying to charge.

xxxx“You’re not going to let them keep thinking you're dead. Losing a child - it’s a grievous wound, Reyna.” He had, himself, been teetering off the edge at his child’s death, back then - and seeing that ever-bleeding wound mirrored in her parents only made him solidify that idea. “Dolores was destroyed, you know. All of them. This - this is too cruel. Just- if you needed help, you could have come to us. To any of us! So - let me help?”

[друг]

❝ If I was aware of the open outside, of the planets and the citiesxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxand the flowers and the bedrooms — I’d go away for too long now

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⯭ ⋅ ── ⋅ 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐄𝐋𝐋 ⋅ ─ ⋅

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tagging; briar, andi, rio, salem
mentioned; felix, collie, mercer
location; undirtman shed man
thirty-two ⋅ cismale, he/himx⋅xcontractor

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The boy leaning against Soren's arm felt frail and shaky, and although Soren wished to place himself in the path of any oncoming danger before it could reach him, he was too afraid to move lest Briar simply collapse to the ground. Soren worried about him losing consciousness, because what if he never woke up again? The feeling of being stuck, trapped, heightened in intervals, and he nearly wrenched his own neck turning to look at the head resting against his shoulder. "Why are you lying?" To his knowledge, he hadn't been lying, but repeating the vague outlines of what he believed was the truth. Was Briar referring to him refusing to pin the guilt on him? Soren's stomach sank in time with Briar pulling away, and without thinking, he used the sleeve of his other hand to wipe at the tears spilling onto the boy's cheeks. It was survivor's guilt, surely. He had seen it in soldiers before he had understood what it really was, and he couldn't let Briar sink into it, but he didn't know how to do that. All he knew to do was to keep his arm held steady and Briar from physically falling down.

indentindentBriar asked him where he thought they were, and Soren felt more uneasy than he had all night. Andi was looking right at them, and he didn't know how to explain that they might have been in more danger than they ever had been stranded out on that road. At the time, it had seemed a blessing to be found by others and led to an actual shelter among all the wilderness, but now it felt to Soren as if they should have taken their chances out there, even with the injuries that Felix and Briar had sustained. Collie and himself were both trained soldiers, and they had enough wilderness survival skills between the two of them to maybe make it to morning. Those odds appeared more favourable now than facing whatever the cult might have had planned for them. Soren was beginning to miss the hatchet he had packed in with his belongings for the purposes of the camping trip. He never thought that he would intentionally hurt another human being after leaving the army, but faced with a choice between watching his friends die and fending off a few cultists, the decision seemed easy.

indentindentBut maybe they could avoid an escalation to violence entirely. Andi appeared to be holding tears in response to what he had said, and Soren really didn't know what to think. Was she merely emotional about the poor deer they had hit? That Soren could understand. It was never pleasant to see an animal hurt. Yet thinking back, all he had seen on the road was a lot of blood and shattered glass. He had never seen the deer, and so he had to consider the possibility that somewhere out there, an injured deer was dying slowly and painfully of whatever injuries the crash had left on its body. He winced to himself, suddenly remorseful. They should have been more mindful before leaving the wreck behind, even if going so far as tracking the animal down through the woods would have proved an impossibility in the dark. Suddenly, Andi was repeating his words about them being Amish to Briar, which was something Soren had thoughtlessly uttered before he had realised they were an actual cult of some kind. In all honesty, he wasn't entirely sure what the Amish really were like, if they were a cult, or if they even existed in Canada, but it seemed like the sort of thing one would encounter living isolated from everyone else. Now he was regretting the words, because he feared that alluding to a cult member that they were in a cult would offend them, which was what he had been trying to avoid by not answering Briar's question.

indentindentSoren's confusion kept deepening as he listened to Andi. Were there people here who would intentionally strike deer with their cars? It sounded awful, and must not have been true. Mercer. Mercer who? Had they met at some point? Soren's face turned into a lost, forlorn frown. It was beginning to feel as if Andi, a woman neither of them should have met before, was keeping something from him, and Briar was somehow involved. What did he know that Soren didn't? Meanwhile, Andi was being strangely courteous with them, offering them food and warmth in the cabin, and he couldn't decide whether it was genuine, or if there would be a catch to following her inside. His instincts were telling him to stay put, especially after Andi mentioned the medic. Soren felt guilty. She seemed to have no idea what had gone down between the two of them before they had all left the shed. Yet Briar's condition appeared to be deteriorating, and there would be no benefit to forcing him to stand outside in the cold waiting for someone else to come rescue them.

indentindentHe was about to cautiously agree that they go inside, all the while attempting to suss out the likelihood that they would become outnumbered there, when soft footsteps from the direction where the ground appeared to slope downward caught his attention instead. Seeing the head of bleach-blonde hair approaching through the dark set an apology onto the tip of his tongue, accompanied by a plea to do something about Briar in spite of his own bad behaviour, because the boy was clearly still not well, and if his condition were to plummet overnight, Soren wouldn't have been able to forgive himself. That all changed when he noticed the man accompanying the medic: the pale, taller, Brit, who had given his name as Orion. Gently and inconspicuously, he used the arm Briar was clinging onto to shift the boy a little behind himself, because the man's tone changed everything. It was the same, infuriating cruelty that sat high on the list of things Soren could not understand at the moment. Andi had launched himself at the man in an out-of-place hug, but Soren's frown had deepened enough to make the cut on his forehead sting.

indentindentThe Brit was staring at him as if Soren was the sole cause of everything that had gone wrong, demanding to know what had happened, and he couldn't even begin to decide which part of the night was being referred to. His apology to Salem lay forgotten, and all that was ringing through Soren's head was how much he wasn't a leader. He had spent his entire life pursuing everything but that. He had wanted to remain calm and forgiving to ensure their odds of leaving this unsettling place unscathed, but he was approaching his admittedly very high limit of tolerance. He found himself incapable of brushing everything off with a soft laugh and a smile when he was surrounded by the increasingly fragile bodies of his friends. Knowing that they were relying on him to do something in spite of everything was beginning to stress him out in a way that he hadn't felt since the army. He had no desire to be forceful, but something needed to happen, before, well, something bad happened instead. A pacifist, not a pushover. His friends' lives would always come first.

indentindentindent"You've got a tiger on the loose, and I can't spin that any way which would make it our fault," he bit out, answering the man's hostility with his own. He wanted to demand to know what made his friends worth so little to this haughty ass, but the words were spinning themselves into existence. "My friend here can barely stand, and your man's been doing hardly anything about it," he went on, voice raised again in a way that was utterly uncharacteristic of him, and indicated Salem with the arm that was free of a fading Briar. In all fairness, the medic didn't look to be that much older than Briar. Soren himself had never been one to consider young folks any less capable purely on account of them being younger, but he was beginning to realise just in whose hands their futures lay. The stuffy, taxidermied penguin of a Brit could not have been much older than himself, either, if he was older at all.
indentindentindent"All due respect, I'm gonna have to ask you to either let us go or offer some damn help."

[! ‎]

███ 𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗧 ███████████████████████████
──────── bear ── location is the cabin ── tagging neil ──


there was something... wrong, with the scene in front of him. of course, that was as clear to me as it was to you; if he was honest with himself, it was closer for him to think that there was nothing right with the scene in front of him. all of it was wrong, wrong, wrong─ was he dreaming, still? his eyes went from person to person, from bloodied hands to shocked expression to empty space. there was some sense in that, if he tried. and he did, he tried. his hand held the handrail to the staircase tight, the wood solid underneath his palm, and there was this thought in his head that he would leave a mark in its grains─ but no, that was not who he was right now. that was not what he was right now. he was not dreaming; he was not dreaming and there was something wrong. it was like there was mud covering the outside of his body, a reminder of the forest that stuck his hand to the handrail and his feet to the staircase. every time his foot raised to lower itself to the next stair, it set itself back down to where it was to start with. his body wavered like this, back and forth. he was a fish out of water, or a bear out of the forest and in the middle of a city, but there was no blue coat and red hat for him to wear and no sandwich for him to eat. silly of him to think that! the only sandwich there was mercers, and that was not marmalade that he was eating with it.

his hand raised when he heard his name, a cracked version of his name at least, from andi's mouth; bordering a plea more than it was resembling a call from where he was standing, and from the look that was on her face. the mud was inside of his throat. why was she making that face? his hand raised to reach out to her, to answer her call without opening his mouth and wrap her with his arms so that he did not have to see it. it did not look right on her. there was no time for him to finally step down from his height on top of the stairs though before her head turned to answer the sound of something outside, of... someone outside, that had caught her attention. wrong, wrong, wrong. there was something outside was alerting her. his mouth opened and his feet unstuck from the mud to take that step down the stairs, a single heavy thump, to call out her name and ask her what was happening, ask someone what was happening. what was he missing? "a lot" was the answer to his question, of course, though it was not the answer he was going to get─ if he was going to get one in the first place. she was out of the door too fast for him to do anything, his body nothing but a bag that was full of rocks weighing him down. everything was too fast for him to do anything. inside of his head there was smoke, something that he was trying to make sense of. the house was too empty, the house was too quiet, there was something outside. something outside. something outside. a shadow knocking on the door, too far for him to see what was standing on the porch but too close. too close. he was one step closer to the landing of the stairs, one step closer to the front door and to following andi to where she was going in such a hurry. but his hand still stuck to the handrail, still stuck inside of the mud and holding him to the inside of the cabin. he didn't know what he was thinking, what was running through his head in that moment or what was so familiar about this scene that clawed at his chest.

a touch to his shoulder and he was back, the knocking receding into the shadow that it came from and a jolt running through his body. his head turned to look at the hand that was on top of his shoulder, a comforting weight to his body, just to see... no one, an empty space in the stairs. ah, there he was. nish had to lower his head to see that neil was there, his glasses crooked and a frown on his face, though nish could only answer that expression with something that was... kind of smile of his own. it was kind of crooked, like the glasses on top of neil's head, if you were to look too closely at his face. there was someone else there, someone in the house that made it not so empty─ though, with neil, it was just as quiet. the hand that was not holding the handrail nish placed on top of neil's hand, to hold it on top of his shoulder. nish shook his head, shaking whatever was inside of his head with it. with neil he had to respond, he had to open his mouth and vocalize the words that were running around inside of his brain and causing a fire and knocking over the filing cabinets. and so he did; open his mouth and vocalize the words. his voice was coarse with the lack of use, the only... kind of word? that left it since waking up being the "g" in "goodmorning" before, well, before everything else that was happening─ or not happening ─in the cabin.

"i don't... know,"

and god, would he ever?

[guh-huh!]

❛xＣＯＵＲＴＮＥＹ　！
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xxfemale // caribou // feeling: somebody's on the naughty list this year! // tagged: vic!! reyna! ... danny.
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xx'xxcourtney hisses through her teeth in a half-whisper, shooting a nervous glare at the widening gap forming between the reyna and danny and her and vic, the air filled with a nervous, wild energy entirely unbefitting of the calming woods. courtney’s gaze flicks between the two of them, uncertain of what she should do. the breath catches in courtney’s throat at the next broken half-sentence that comes out of the human's mouth.

xx'xx"your family- your real family," and courtney's jaw sets into a hard line, the muscle there twitching. it's almost impossible for her to emote all the strange, newly placed emotions of fear, anger, and hurt– that all swell in her stomach as she blinks and rapidly in a desperate manner to keep her composure.

xx'xxcourtney growls a low note at him, seeing red. anger takes hold of her, creeping up in her throat, threatening to spill out in a scream. she wants to tell reyna that he's wrong– and she's wrong for even thinking about listening to him. instead she turns her antlers away from danny as reyna had asked, and instead turns them to trunk of a nearby pine tree, hacking blindly; leaving gashes in the thick bark. if he wants to call her a dangerous animal; she'll confirm his suspicions. she is a large, dangerous animal, who's sick of hearing a man sprout lies about her and her family.

xx'xxhowever, while she is a massive, terrifying ungulate with the power to flip cars and uproot trees– she's also a rational, relatively smart human being. one that, isn't as imposing as a caribou, sure, but one that can speak up for reyna in her time of need. which, in it's own right, is a lot more powerful than a caribou with a larynx that can only conjure up various snorts or screams depending on the mood.

xx'xx"her real family is right here, sir," courtney gnashes her teeth, whirling on danny, stabbing a finger accusingly at the older man. the fact that she has to crane her neck to make eye contact only pisses her off further. she misses being taller and threatening in exchange for speech. “just because you knew he back then, doesn't mean you know her now.”

xx'xx"she decided to leave on her own accord; we had nothing to do with reyna leaving, but we had everything to do with her feeling comfortable and protected. something, obviously, you– or somebody else– failed at." her voice comes out loud, louder than she intended, and thank god the forests are usually empty like this after nightfall, because she doesn’t quite know if she’d be able to contain her volume at this point. "she's an adult who can make her own adult decisions. and if she wanted to go back home, she would've years ago. we don't control her every move!"

xx'xxit’s dark and cold, but pain and guilt and anger overwhelm her senses, all rational thought thrown to the wind as she begins to catch her breath. cold air winds lazily through her hair, black and oily as ink. she finds solace in the safety of her jacket, now feeling exposed and in over her head after yelling at an unknown man. courtney sinks back into her jacket, only shivering a little bit as she stares blankly out at reyna.

xx'xx"if reyna wants to go with you, i can accept that. but you have to let her decide. it's not your choice to make, and it never will be." she fights to steady her breath, still shaky from the adrenaline rush of her outburst. the heat from her caribou form seemed to temporarily sear heat into her bones, only starting to fade now in the crisp night air.

xx'xx"can we just, go inside or something? i don't think we're going to agree on anything if we're both cold and mad at one another." courtney hisses through her teeth, squeezing her eyes shut furiously. "if you care about reyna, then i can't be too mad at you, but don't assume we're some cult forcing kool aid down her throat. we're just a group of people in a similar, messed up situation."