villainy commenced [[1x1 w/ the-nug-king & hexspecs!]]

[grey matter]

"Duly noted," Lazarus said as he nodded.

Outside, Lucas was standing, made restless by how long this was taking. Everything about this made him feel tense...

[[this is basically Lazarus trying to figure out how he feels about Lucas]]

[the-nug-king]

Three followed Lazarus to the Courtyard, nodding at Lucas and going to stand against a wall.

[grey matter]

Lazarus got the first words out. "You're kidding. Still with the deca-pocket-"

Lucas threw his lab coat off [which he had finally emptied the pockets of just because he wanted to do something dramatic] and smirked.

"coat... Uh... I'm impressed. Pinstripes..." Lazarus crossed his arms.

"You better be," Lucas scoffed. "You're late, but not even fashionably."

"I put on MAKEUP for this," Lazarus said, removing his mask. "Oh- snap, I... I was intending to do that more drmataically later, not to just brag about the fact that I know how to contour."

"It's surreal seeing you without a mask..." Lucas noted. "But I can live with it."

"Whatever, whatever. We have things to talk about, AND a duel. And not to mention the pre-duel anti-exhaustion checks... So let's get this on with, nerd." Lazarus began folding his scarf and placed it on the ground with his mask atop it.

"I still don't know why we have to do this..."

"To make sure YOU, being the idiotic often workaholic you are, don't pass out while we do anything! Now, have you eaten, have you hydrated, are you ready to duel?"

"Yes... And... As for you?"

"Likewise... despite the fact that my meal consisted mostly of snack foods, but it was acceptable!"

"Good. Any last words?"

"Why are you drawing this out so long?" He stuck out his arm in the direction of Lucas. "Now, take my- AUGH."

Lucas had pulled Lazarus toward him, into sort of a spin.

"You're LEADING? I WAS GOING TO DO THAT!"

"The early bird gets the worm!"

"BUT THE SECOND MOUSE GETS THE CHEESE!"

"Your lines are cheese," Lucas snidely remarked.

"WE DON'T EVEN HAVE MUSIC GOING!"

[the-nug-king]

At that, organ music started playing from all DarkBoard portals in the area.

"Really?" said Three. "I just want you all to know that I hate every part of this."

((I LOVE THEM))

[grey matter]

"I TOLD YOU THE BANTER WOULD GET WORSE!" Lazarus cried out.

"Only because YOU are the one who makes it so, punk!"

"I do not!"

They kept arguing as they gracefully danced about, Lucas having stronger dancing ability than expected, managing to lead while arguing.

"YOU'RE TRIPPING UP MY FOCUS!" Lucas exclaimed.

"YOU'RE TRIPPING ME UP IN GENERAL!"

"YOU'RE TRIPPING UP MY STRATEGIC THINKING!"

"YOU'RE TRIPPING UP MY EMOTIONS!" Lazarus attempted to nudge in the direction of the Romatic Confession.

"LIKE WHAT? YOU WANT TO BETRAY ME BUT YOU CAN'T?"

"WHAT- NO, I WOULDN'T BETRAY YOU! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT? HAVE YOU BEEN SLEEPING NORMALLY?"

"..."

"THOUGHT SO, YOU INSOMNIAC!"

"HEY, I'VE BEEN GETTING ENERGY INJECTIONS! AND I HAVE ENERGY GUMMY BEARS."

"THAT'S COOL AND ALL BUT YOU NEED REAL SLEEP!"

"WELL- YOU PROBABLY HAVEN'T WENT TO THE BATHROOM SINCE ARRIVING!"

"WHY ARE YOU EVEN BRINGING THAT UP, I'M VERY FINE AND MY ORGANS ARE IN HOMEOSTASIS!"

"IS MY SCIENCE LEXICON RUBBING OFF ON YOU OR SOMETHING?"

"SOUNDS LIKE MY POETIC ONE IS RUBBING OFF ON YOU! THAT WORD IS QUITE ELOQUENT AND UNCOMMON!"

"THANKS, I GUESS"

"YOU'RE WELCOME!"

[They're wonderful. Sorry my reply took so long, I was playing Monopoly with my family.]

[the-nug-king]

"'I wouldn't betray you?'" Ugh, somehow even more obnoxious than Aurion and Cazenar. Do you two have to shout everything?"

((np))

[grey matter]

"YES," they said in unison.

"Well, technically, nah, but... " Lucas sighed, pausing for a moment.

"What's wrong, why are we stopping?"

"Out of breath... from shouting. We should... stop."

"...Well then. Duel over?"

"Duel over. No contest, draw, yadda yadda."

"...I guessssssss. But. There are mor important matters. Like... like... uhh, it's hard to say."

"Take... your time."

"Wait a minute... I swear to- Lucas. You... You were binding, weren't you... I knew I forgot to ask something!"

"Well, I didn't buy a particularly big top for this outfit! I didn't think I'd be doing stuff like this!"

"You should've told me so I could've at least reminded you to stop screaming so much!"

"Yes, very unwise of me... but I don't... care.. at this point."

"You don't even know your own limits..." He shook his head. "Well, I was going to say something, but this is clearly not the-"

"Stop dragging it on, just say it already! Please, I can barely think with how... exhausting that was..."

"Iamattractedtoyouandappearantlythat'smutualbutIwouldn'tknowifitreallyisbuthonestlyIdidn'twanttoruinwhatwehadifyoudidn'tsoIkindaorganizedthisjusttoholdyiurhandsbutnowit'schangedintoaconfessionmomentandIwantedtosaysomethingelegantandeloquentandpoeticbutyoutoldmetohurryupso-"
"What..."

"I HAVE A STUPID CRUSH ON YOU, DWEEB!"

"Three was... right... huh..."

"Ugh, you make me want to say eloquent things but I can't think of any! You're... better than any writings I'll ever write! You blind me with your science! You exist and I find that to be a good thing! I want us to be a villainous power couple despite both of us being lacking in some sort of key villainous trait! I-"

"I get it... I get it... It's just... good to know."

"Do you reciprocate my feelings or not, Attenborough? That's what I'm getting at here, do you reciprocate it?"

"I... think?"

"I want a more definite answer than that!"

"Three ounces love rule..."

"...Wait... how... how much is in an ounce again... freakin' customary.. why are there two kinds of ounces... which ounce is this?"

[the-nug-king]

"United States of America ounces. Anyway, congratulations on your... relationship upgrade? Completed duel? Confession of feelings? If you're quite done with whatever that was, DarkBoard and I can give you some time alone in a secured room, which I request you accept if you have any intention of getting sentimental. I don't wish to hear that, and, if I judge either of you to be in possession of more than two ounces of True Love, I am required to keep you incarcerated until you can be properly screened."

[grey matter]

"I guess that'd work... I'm still very dazed at the moment," Lucas said. "I have no clue how this could even work out. I still don't get how True Love is measured and I need answers at some point..."

"Wait, fluid ounces or 1/8 of a pound ounces?" Lazarus asked.

"That's exactly what I want to know... and- how is love gained and removed? Can it be done physically? How does any of this work?"

"I don't know! At all! Fun! Cluelessness!"

[the-nug-king]

"I've never researched the topic and have zero desire to. If you're desperate to find out, do it without involving me. At all."