ｔｈｅ ｂａｌｃｏｎｙ ｂｅｌｏｗ ｍｅ

[vault]

"No, look, I'm not crying anymore, I'm sorry! I was just startled and I thought I did something wrong maybe and see, now it's okay so I'm fine really I'm fine—" Wait. He'd thought Feli wanted him to leave? "NO. I mean, please don't go, I really don't want you to." Feliciano picked up both of Ludwig's hands and threaded their fingers together. "Everything is fine. Confusing, but a happy confusing. And it might not make sense, but it's what I'm feeling, so it can definitely happen." Man, Ludwig looked exhausted. "You know I cry really easily, I'm a big baby." He smiled up at Ludwig, truly meaning it. "Come on, let's go find some food. We could just go home, but it's getting late and I really don't have anything in my apartment right now." Pondering, he offered, "But if you need to, we can go back, okay? You look... not so good." He let go of Ludwig's left hand to feel the German's forehead. "You're really warm. You sure you're okay?" Ever since the first day they'd met, Feliciano was constantly worried that his friend would get sick "again." Maybe he needed something warm to drink. Maybe they both did.

The old woman was still nearby, and she waved happily as they finally walked away. Feliciano, of course, called back "Frohe Weihnachten!" and waved rapidly. She probably thought they were a mess. That's alright, they sort of were a mess. But a good mess, Feliciano thought. They just needed to get through this together.

[zombles]

"If I get sick, I'll just have to sleep it off." Ludwig did not dare to deny it. Maybe he was sick? It felt like it might be that, or just the day had been a little bit too much confessing for him today. Or both. Snapping out of whatever he had been thinking, Ludwig whipped his head around towards the lady and Feliciano's rapid waving. He decided to speak up. The old lady had been kind to him, not to mention that she gave him a discount on the mittens. It would be rude not to say something. "Es freut mich, Sie kennen zu lernen und ein gutes neues Jahr." Ludwig added in after Feliciano had spoken and started to walk in the opposite direction. He turned his attention back to their conversation with a small sigh. "I have some food in my apartment if you would rather get out of the cold." Couldn't have Feliciano be sick too if the blond German happened to be. Being sick together was not fun, even though being lazy, rolled up in blanket burritos, and just watching television together was much more fun than looking at dead bodies. The Italian being sick in general wasn't cool. No thank you.

[vault]

"...Gutes neues Jahr." Feliciano mimicked, nodding. "I know that one. And yes, of course. I can't believe today went so fast. And I didn't even get all my gifts, ahh." Feli fretted, before remembering. "Oh! I can still get them with you, I remember now. Never mind me." He stopped walking to yawn, eventually being tugged into motion again by the German. "Mmnn, sorry. Tired and hungry." He spared one last look at the christmas trees, all lit up beautifully in the evening by the snow and decorations, before taking his leave. "Thank you, Lud. It's so pretty here."

As they walked, Feli discovered something new. Feliciano was afraid of many things, but the most recent seemed to be that he'd run out of space to physically be any closer to Lud when they walked. He was going to become a nuisance at any point, if he tried to attach himself any tighter to his... friend? Uh. His Ludwig. His Ludwig friend. Uh... never mind. But seriously, Ludwig was lucky his pace was so quick and stride so long, because if it was any shorter he'd probably trip over the man hurrying along beside him. Hopefully the German wasn't really sick, because—while Feliciano would love to help take care of him—he would hate for the blond to be uncomfortable, especially for Christmas.

[zombles]

"I'm glad," Ludwig said softly. He would suggest that they walk home, but it wouldn't be nice for the Italian to walk an hour in the cold. He noticed that small yawn emitted by him, peering down at their hands. He managed to keep walking and talking at the same time without slowing down. "You should take a nap in the train. It's getting late." Did Feliciano have enough faith in Ludwig anymore to not kiss him or anything while he slept? Ludwig knew that he wouldn't, he would never ever make a move on Feliciano. And if it he did, if he made the dumb mistake of doing so, he wouldn't be afraid to turn himself into the police or along the lines of. It wasn't about him, it was about how much Feliciano still trusted. He felt more awkward than ever before, the awkwardness was prone to be radiating off of him. Secretly, the German hoped that Feliciano wouldn't bring up him that. Ludwig was feeling bad enough he couldn't go through it again. He already regretted today.

Sadly, Ludwig couldn't help but crack himself a pathetic smile. Scarred Feliciano for life, Ludwig didn't doubt it. And he scarred himself. Maybe tomorrow he would muster up the courage and have a serious talk with the Italian next to him. "If you don't want to come to Christmas, that's understandable. It might be better spending Christmas alone, if you want that." The pale man stated in his guttural accent.

[vault]

Feliciano frowned. "Hmmmn, maybe. But public transit is kinda icky. I don't know. I'd rather just pass out at dinner." He let out a small laugh. "Right in my food. Wouldn't that be funny?" From their pace, he was surprisingly distracted from the topic of food. "I've never walked this fast in my life. You're so fast." The sound of his own shoes tapping against the pavement was quickly becoming overwhelming for him. "Lud, you're barely responsive right now. Can I do something to help?"

Of course there was nothing he could do, because the Italian could've sworn his heart stopped beating at Ludwig's comment. Seemingly offhand, it predictably made the emotionally-compromised man's eyes begin tearing up again. "Do you not want me to go?" The rational part of him thought "feli, no, you're overreacting, stop it," but the anxiety-ridden half wrestled that spark of sanity to the ground pretty quickly. "I-it's okay if you change your mind. I understand." Eyes to the floor, he stood adjusting his winterwear to burrito himself as they waited for the train. He couldn't possibly expect Ludwig to bring him along, especially with all the problems he caused the German on a day-to-day basis. All he needed now was to just stop crying for five damn seconds. He'd ruined too many things with his stupid tears. But of course he still wanted to go, what did Lud think was different? He desperately wished he could understand what Ludwig was thinking.

[zombles]

"No, I do want you to come," Ludwig said over the train that sped past them, another line and didn't end up at this stop. His blue eyes side-glanced, spotting the small tears bubbling up on the auburn's slightly rosy face. "I know you might not want to hear this, Feliciano. I apologize. After all the actions and everything I've said today, I don't want to put you through four more days of that. I haven't been thinking well today, everything is basically on an impulse. None of its your fault, so please don't think its that. Please don't feel inclined or anything to have a relationship with me or whatever, you're the longest friend I've had, and I was selfish to have misinterpreted it for something more. I hate to see you cry because of me and my foolishness. If you don't go, you'll stop crying and you'll be free of me for four days."

Feeling the need to explain himself further, Ludwig felt released of his bottled up emotions. How did Feliciano bare to be with him for more than a couple hours? How did Feliciano put up with him at all? It remained a mystery. Though, there was still a couple of emotions that Ludwig made sure not to show him. He couldn't, he would just wait until he was alone. The rejection of his confession was starting to be recognized, and the tall man could practically feel his heart slowly splitting into two, agonizing and simply... Heartbreaking. Now wasn't the time. He shouldn't cry here. It was okay. He could wait until he was alone.

[vault]

Well, this was a vicious cycle. Both of them thought it was their fault? Time to go all out, Feli decided. "Ludwig, I love you. I tell you that all the time." He huffed, frustrated. "You are my best friend, but I also think you're kind and strong and handsome and I wouldn't say this if it weren't true." He threw his arms around Ludwig's neck, standing on his tiptoes and pressing his face into the crook of Lud's neck. "Please believe me." He inhaled slowly, just breathing in Ludwig's presence and trying to calm them both down. "God, I'm not mad at you. I couldn't be mad about that! Today was amazing, sciocco. Voi bello idiota." After the soft Italian reprimanding, he continued with a logical point. "How exactly could this change our relationship drastically? I'm too physical of a person to use as a practical example, it's not like we're gonna START holding hands." He sighed lightly.

Even after that, Feliciano wasn't sure his point was truly getting across. "Oh, just shut up and come here." He murmured, taking the daft German's face in his hands and pulling him down to pointedly kiss him. What a great day. "Do you understand? Take me with you to Germany, please. I want to be with you, and I'm finally pretty sure you want to be with me, too." Feliciano's voice was even and determined, not a single bit of hesitation making it tremble. If Ludwig needed him to be romantically forward, then he would be. He so would be. "I like this impulse. We can kiss any time! But only if you want to." Smiling faux-innocently, he stared into Lud's intense blue eyes.

[zombles]

To all that, Ludwig could only swallow heavily and manage out a: "Okay, s-sounds good." Thank the lord Feliciano was better at everything romantic, especially with that cute kiss. His voice was nonexistent, and there was an idiotic, goofy, and such a genuine smile that Ludwig did not want it to go away. A thick blush covered his face, he didn't care. Why should he? Feliciano was a officially his. No one else's. His. Ludwig now had a great reason to give death stares to those girls who stared down the short Italian, he also had a great reason to be even more protective which may not possible. Also those guys who looked over Feli too, he was sure to make it clear that if they laid one of their creepy little fingers on him that he would— hmm, it's probably too graphic. You get the idea. Albeit, this was Ludwig's normal protecting standards anyways. They didn't change very much. He was so warm and fuzzy, it was such a silly feeling that the blond was starting to love. He almost didn't even notice their train pull up. Just staring back into the other's eyes and or lost in his own head. Ludwig was basically drunk on happiness, although somehow a little piece of him managed to sort of guide Feliciano to the entrance of the train.

[vault]

Feliciano marveled in Ludwig's smile as he looked up at the taller man. "See, now you look much better." With a quick, tight hug, he mumbled "You've got your color back, now. Although I'm starting to worry that I can't tell the difference between sick and blushing." He was glad he could elicit such a reaction from the German, one that he was sure he didn't show often. As Ludwig protectively ushered Feliciano onto the train, Feli was pretty sure he did the right thing. Now it was time to let Lud process everything, so he just held his arm and rested his head against it, closing his eyes for the time being.

After quite a few minutes of quiet, the train providing the only noises around them, Feliciano spoke up again. "You can call me whatever you need to. I mean, to your family." Feliciano chirruped, moving Ludwig's arm around him of his own accord. "Whatever makes you comfortable, I'm comfortable with." He laughed to himself quietly. "I know I'm more comfortable with these things than you are." Nuzzled into Lud's jacket, he was extremely comfortable right now, too. "You just lead and I will follow." Their pauses in conversation still were never awkward, and Feli was so thankful for that. Time spent with Ludwig was somehow always comfortable too, no matter what they were doing—even sitting there reading or studying in silence. The only qualm he had now was with the insufferable cold. Luckily, the train was fast, and they were already almost home.

[zombles]

The quietness was soothing as much as the underground could be. The melodious hum of the engine called for no words, the creaks of the car, and the sound of the train echoing off the tunnel as they traveled. It wasn't crowded. The people had started to dissipate; they had left the market fairly early, everyone would be rushing home later. He was enjoying the warmth, the glow of ardency coming from within. Even though the smile had faded from his face, the feeling remained. Yes, it had been there before for a long time, but now with the knowledge that Feliciano loved him amplified it by a lot.

Ludwig slowly blinked, his daydreaming cut by the words that quietly protruded the silence. He waited until Feliciano stopped talking, turning his head to look out at the lights that went quickly by at the pace of the train. "They can handle me calling you my boyfriend." He assured before taking a pause and inhaling. "Hmm, well, they will probably have a extra round of beer in 'congrautlations' and start making suggestive comments." His eyes lingered on the other for a moment until the momentum of the train slowing down brought the German to look. He, somehow, kept Feliciano close to him and stepped onto the London platform. Was the little brunet still hungry? Personally, Ludwig was ready to go to sleep already, but he could stay up. He'd stay up for Feliciano before. Right now, though, he wasn't going to worry about that as he started to head for the staircase once they were out, this time slower than before.