. (( “ these desert streets // sonny & pereyra ))

[sinensys]

and as abruptly as their conversation started, it came to an end, and all nadir could think about was how much he missed the way things used to be. god, he hated this feeling; jerran was married and he had elliot, but somehow he wanted both. but instead of saying anything, he just waved back with a smile. "we'll meet you there, then!" hopefully his voice didn't waver as much as he thought it did. hopefully.

---

when nadir told him about the new dinner plan with some old friends, elliot hadn't expected this. he hadn't expected nadir's high-strung energy, or the longing that practically radiated from nadir. elliot also hadn't expected a mess of emotions to bubble up again.

on one hand, nadir and jerran had dated before, and if nadir looked elliot in the eyes and told him he found someone else, elliot would back off. he might not like it, but if it was better for nadir, he'd deal with it. nadir had pulled him out of dark places multiple times, and if he found someone more capable of doing the same for him, elliot wouldn't control him and force him to stay by his side. it wouldn't be fair to him.

on the other hand, elliot couldn't help but replay the memory of nadir, slightly tipsy, asking him what his opinion was on marriage in general - but it included a sputtered "not with like anyone specific, just, like, in general" and a red-faced nadir, which he honestly found cute. so elliot had just smiled, kissed his temple, and told nadir to ask him in the morning, and during the whole drive home, nadir had the dopiest smile elliot had ever seen on that man. the conversation never came up again, but was it selfish of elliot to hope that the other thought about marrying him? somewhere in a twisted corner of his mind, a voice scolded him for it, but at this point, elliot would rather wear the title 'fool' and be oblivious. if it never happened, so be it, but he could dream, right? right?

despite already feeling anxious, they'd only been here for a few minutes and had just sat down. nadir had just greeted the other couple - or rather, who he assumed to be jerran - with a bright and cheery "hey" and extended his hand to the other man at the table. "i'm nadir, and this is my boyfriend, elliot." at the introduction, elliot just smiled politely and dipped his head slightly, left hand coming up to his neck a moment later.

[pereyra]

─── when amerigo had gotten home that evening, jerran had all but slammed his audio recorder down on the table, playing the clip of him talking to nadir for amerigo before explaining the situation- and that the two were now having a fun, surprise, last minute guest at dinner. what amerigo hadn’t expected was for two people to show up at the restaurant- a shorter man with dark hair who he recognized from pictures jerran had shown him as jerran’s ex, nadir, and a taller man with lighter hair who jerran hadn’t expected, either, from the look on his face.

regardless, the two stood in unison to greet their guests, amerigo shaking nadir’s hand and smiling as much as he could- he’d never been good in social situations, and between the two of them, jerran was infinitely more extroverted. under the circumstances they had met (while amerigo was drunk and stranded in a parking lot), amerigo would have never talked to jerran- jerran was always the one to initiate any sort of conversation with quite literally anyone and everyone. “i- uh, hi? i’ve heard a lot about you?” amerigo replied, the statement coming out more of a question than anything.

jerran smiled at elliot and nadir like there was nowhere else in the world he’d rather be. “why don’t we all sit down?” he suggested, before doing just so and picking up the colorful cocktail that was in front of him. he nudged amerigo with his foot, getting the other man to sit down as well. “well, elliot, he’s heard a lot about nadir, not you,” jerran said, gesturing to his husband before taking a drink, then leaning forward on the table. “you’ll have to tell me about yourself. i’m sure you know nadir and i have a history together- i couldn’t possibly let him date someone i don’t approve of. you’re attractive, though, so you’ve already got points for that.”

[sinensys]

once they got there and met amerigo and jerran in person, elliot had decided to fall back and let nadir take charge. it wasn't out of the ordinary for them anyways: nadir was always willing to step up and moderate a conversation, even if elliot could barely participate at times if it wasn't an art appreciation conversation. nadir, despite the occasional residue of his once-extreme dysphoria, was happy to be in the centre of the attention he once hated. that was part of what made their relationship work; elliot wanted nothing but to give his attention, and nadir was happy to receive without abusing that aspect or even so much as making elliot feel uncomfortable with it. it was hard to put into words, but there was a balance that had solidified and strengthened throughout their time together. he hoped it would continue.

(elliot only beiefly noticed how nadir smoothly laughed to the man he assumed wasn't jerran: "as long as he hasn't mentioned the chem lab incident, i can live with that.")

but despite nadir's moderation, elliot couldn't just check out mentally, dissociating to think about future projects or just alternate events where he said one thing slightly differently. he had to be present and aware, because now they were sitting down: jerran, cocktail in hand, seemed untouchable; nadir sat with with the same energy a retriever had during a young child's birthday party; amerigo was reserved, but appeared to elliot as collected. it was an atmosphere the art major hadn't expected, considering nadir had promised him it would be low key and with old friends. no, there was something else that elliot couldn't name, and maybe that did unsettle him a little.

at jerran's comment, he just smiled and fought a blush (it appeared anyways). "i- thank you."

"i'll have you know," nadir carried the conversation on, pointing at jerran, "i have great taste in partners, and you know this," he stuck his tongue out at jerran quickly. elliot just glanced at nadir for a moment, fond and amused, before looking back at jerran and answering: "i'm an art major and i've been tired ninety percent of my entire life. nadir and i met during a required english class. i don't remember the rest," he teased, hoping nadir could carry on the burden of the conversation. fortunately for elliot, the shorter man delivered: he clutched his heart dramatically and feigned hurt. "we've been dating for four years, and you decide to do me dirty like this? i have, no words. where's the soft sweater boy i know and love?"