☂☂ ι lιĸe ιт wнeɴ ιт rαιɴѕ, ιт'ѕ lιĸe тнe wнole world ιѕ cryιɴɢ wιтн мe,
reғlecтιɴɢ нow ι ғeel ιɴѕιde. ι ɴever cry, ѕo тнe world doeѕ ғor мe.
ι'м вroĸeɴ. вroĸeɴ вeyoɴd repαιr.
{ "eva" } { nineteen } { female } { the b r o k e n one }
☂☂ тнere αre dαyѕ wнeɴ ι wαĸe υp
αɴd ι woɴder wнo ι reαlly αм.
ιғ ι'м мeαɴт тo вe wнo ι αм. ιғ oɴe dαy, ι'll ғeel lιĸe ι ĸɴow мyѕelғ.
{ évelyne gäelle-camille lévesquieu } { "eva" } { swedish-french }
Évelyne Gäelle-Camille Lévesquieu is Eva's full name. Since it's a name that's considered to be "quite a mouthful", whenever her parents got asked what her full name was, they answered Évelyne Milla Lévesquieu. When she got older, Eva started saying that her full name was Eva Gäelle-Milla Lévesquieu. A name like Eva's is quite uncommon and undesired by most people and, like most rare names, it has an uncommon story. Well, not exactly uncommon, it's common enough but not completely common. Eva's father was born and raised in Sweden and had never set a foot outside of his native country. Eva's mother was French through and through, actually, she was an actress who was just starting to gain recognition; she was on her first trip to Sweden. Well, not really a trip, she was going to Sweden to act in a play there when she met her future husband. They were both kids, the girl twenty, the boy nineteen, but they met one day and after talking for a bit, realized they shared a lot of the same interests. They had a passion for acting, pretending to be someone they weren't. It happened just like that, two young adults, fresh out of their teenage years met in the cold, harsh Sweden winter and fell in love; they talked for half an hour, not even realizing how cold it was, and a spark seemed to ignite between them in the middle of the bleak winter. They started dating a few days after they first met and they were truly in love. However, when the play ended, Eva's mother had to go back to France, her native country, to seek work. They decided to try and make it work even though it had turned into a long distance relationship and they knew it would probably be a difficult task. It was a hard relationship since they lived in different countries but the distance between them didn't seem like that big an obstacle after a while. A year into their relationship, when Eva's mother managed to travel back to Russia to stay a few months, she became pregnant. This, of course, changed all the young couple's plans. The older of the two was still a few weeks away from twenty-one and at their ages they weren't allowed to get married without parental consent and they did not want to tell their parents about this. Eva's mother tried to find a way to stay in Sweden but she had to go back to France if she didn't want to lose her job and Eva's father was still living with his parents, who wanted to pick his wife for him. So, as fate would have it, Eva's mother went back to France and Eva's father stayed in Sweden, trying to hide the fact that he was very worried about his girlfriend; he moved into a friend's house and tried to sever all ties with his parents to try to keep them from finding out his girlfriend was pregnant before they were married. A few months after he moved into his friend's house, Eva's mother went back to Sweden, luckily, unharassed by paparazzi. She stayed there for three months and during that time, on November 7th, their twins were born. It was a premature birth, a month before the babies were expected, and the parents hadn't thought of any names. They managed to think of names in about ten minutes; the name chosen for the firstborn girl (born two minutes before her twin) was Évelyne Gäelle-Camille Lévesquieu. Évelyne, a fairly common name in both Sweden and France, was chosen because it was a pretty name both parents liked and it was common in both of her nationalities. Gäelle was a French name, the French form of the Breton name Gail, and was chosen because Eva's mother's favorite actress was Eva Green, not satisfied with naming the girl just Évelyne (a name which could have Eva as a nickname), she gave the girl Eva Green's middle name, Gäelle. The second part of her middle name, Camille, was picked by the father in honor of his sister, who had passed away a year ago on that precise date. The other child, another girl, was named Johanne Jacqueline-Félicie, also a double name, the first name, Johanne, was her grandmother's name and the [first part of the] middle name, Jacqueline, was a common French name that the mother found pretty. The second part of the middle name, Félicie, is the French form of Felicity/Felicia and means happiness (the first name means Joy). When Eva's grandparents [father side] learned that their son had two children and a girlfriend, they disowned him and made him change his last name, claiming they didn't want to have a son with two children and no wife. Eva's father was cut out of their will and changed her last name to Grenlan. Since the children were born at around the same time their grandparent's found out about their son having a girlfriend who was pregnant [etc.], and their father was having to change his last name [meaning he didn't have one yet] Eva and her sister, Johanne, have their mother's last name, Lévesquieu. When Eva's parents both turned twenty-one, they moved to France with Eva and her sister and got married. Since her mother is French and her father Swedish, she is both French and Swedish; she was born in Sweden but raised in France for most of her life. Eva speaks both English and French; however, she learned French first and, since her father learned to speak the language, they speak mostly French at home [despite having moved to England a while after]. Because of that, she speaks with a French accent. Though at times she may look older or younger, Eva is actually nineteen years old, and is, obviously, a girl. She is mostly called by her nickname, Eva, and her full name/abridged full name is seldom used; only her parents call her Évelyne and almost everyone else calls her Eva (except for her uncle, who calls her Milla). The name Eva is pronounced differently by people but most people pronounce it either Eh-VAH or EE-vuh; however, Eva's name is pronounced Eh-VAH. Her full name is pronounced EV-uh-lyn-uh (the first pronunciation here) Gueh-Ell-Uh (the first pronunciation here) Kuh-Mee Lev-Us-QUIEU (like due but with a q). Her abridged full name is pronounced Eh-VAH Gueh-Ell-Uh (the first pronunciation here) MEE-luh Lev-Us-QUIEU (like due but with a q). 
☂☂ ι ĸɴow ι нαve α proвleм, ι нeαr тнeм wнιѕperιɴɢ αвoυт ιт wнeɴ тнey тнιɴĸ ι αм αѕleep. ι нαve α dιѕorder вυт ι αм ѕтιll нυмαɴ, ɴo oɴe ѕeeмѕ тo reαlιze тнαт.
{ depression } { bipolar disorder II } { paranoia aka the persecution syndrome }
Eva has depression which is, majorly, the reason why she is going to [the place where the roleplay takes place]. But she also has bipolar disorder II, a type of bipolar disorder that is more mild than the bipolar affective disorder; well, it usually is, but when you add in Eva's depression, it's rather serious. All of the disorders she has are all somehow connected, really. Now, Eva is a very complicated person without counting the disorders and the disorders are only part of her personality, I'll explain the changes they make in her right in the beginning. Since the bipolar disorder is the one that might trigger her depression, I'll start with that. When she's in her maniac phase, which every person with bipolar disorder has and can last from days to months, for Eva, it usually lasts a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. During that period of a week she is easily distracted and finds that she can't concentrate on anything for long or for more than ten minutes, this distraction is rather a nuisance for her but she doesn't seem to notice because all the while she keeps thinking there's somebody out to get her, following her to hurt her or kill her. Along with that obsession with persecution and a lack of concentration, she finds herself unable to eat much and at times forgets about meals. Thankfully, Évelyne Lévesquieu doesn't have any eating disorders and usually eats a healthy amount. Anyway, Eva focuses all her mind on that fear of persecution and because of that, most of her maniac phase is spent panicking and crying desperately. That's another quirk she has that can't really be considered one of her biggest disorders, it's simply a minor one that usually comes along when she's in the maniac phase of her bipolar disorder, the persecution syndrome, or, as it's more commonly known, paranoia. Add bipolarity, depression and paranoia and you get Eva, and now you probably understand why she feels broken all the time, like she doesn't know herself. If you don't, soon enough you will. Anyway, back to the topic of what she experiences in her maniac phase. Eva is a girl who usually doesn't need much sleep because she has gotten so used to not being able to sleep, that she has now adapted to sleeping about four to five hours per night; when she is in her maniac phase, she sleeps only about two hours per night, two and a half if she's lucky. During the maniac phase of her bipolar disorder, she's almost another person, Eva, who's known to be a cold and strong person, usually shows her soft side and reveals how broken she really is inside. Despite showing a softer side, she also suffers [during her maniac phase] from poor temper control and is unable to contain her feelings so she shows whatever she is feeling in whatever way she can show it. Along with not being able to control her feelings, Eva also experiences poor judgement. Eva is a logical person, usually, and during the maniac phase is the only time when she doesn't think things through at all. The truth is, she's so mixed up with her depression (which is usually at it's all-time low, when she's going through her maniac phase), her fear of persecution [otherwise known as paranoia or the persecution syndrome] that she can't think things through, she just does whatever enters her mind and whatever she feels she should do, without thinking of the consequences her actions will have later on. The last prominent trait she has [when in the maniac phase] is thoughts of death and suicide. Usually, no matter how depressed she is or how much she wishes her life was over, Eva isn't the suicidal type, she thinks it's wrong, but every so often [when her maniac phase comes along], she finds herself thinking of how easy it would be to just die. So far, she hasn't attempted suicide, only thought of it. The fact that, normally, Eva is already a rather morbid, solemn person adds a special appeal to the thought of death, it doesn't scare her, she's used to it, and that's what makes her rather more dangerous than most people. Regular people are scared of death, they fear it and avoid anything dangerous, she isn't afraid of it so she doesn't avoid dangerous situations. Bipolarity is only part of Eva's troubles, it is merely the leaves or the branches of the tree, depression, I believe, is the roots. Before I get into the matter, let us establish something. What is depression? It might mean something to you which it does not mean to me. Is it being sad for a few days, for a few hours? Perhaps it's sulking around all day, feeling like you aren't worth anything. Or maybe you believe it's frequently having thoughts of suicide? Well, let us establish a meaning to this word which is rather broad and can mean several different things. In this case, depression will mean "a condition of mental disturbance, typically with lack of energy and difficulty in maintaining concentration or interest in life" (definition from google). Depression is a rather serious subject and I know not how to explain it completely, I am not a doctor, I have not even graduated high school, yet. Well, I'll try to explain at least how it affects Évelyne's personality. At age fifteen, Eva was diagnosed with psychotic depression, a somewhat unique but not completely unheard of type that's characterised by severe depression plus some form of psychosis, in her case, delusions. She believed she was being followed everywhere she went and that there were several people after her to torture and kill her. Please don't misunderstand what I say, I don't mean that Eva is crazy or mentally unhinged and I am not saying that she belongs in the loony bin. She does need treatment and even though her depression is psychotic depression it doesn't mean she's insane. Well, she really wasn't correctly diagnosed the first time, they said she only had pscyhotic depression but they mistook the syndrome of persecution for psychotic depression. A year later, when the mistake was found out, they discovered her depression was actually a type of bipolar disorder. I categorized depression and bipolarity in two different categories so I wouldn't confuse you and they are really two different things but for Eva, they are rather mixed up. Bipolar disorder is also called the manic-depressive illness and is characterized by changes in mood. Usually, people who have bipolar disorder have ups and downs equally as often, Eva, however, mostly has depressive episodes and once in a while, a week or a day where she'll seem content. Évelyne is a strange case, she's nearly always confused about who she really is inside and her mood is usually always low, she's usually always depressed. Yes, Eva has problems, she has two major disorders, depression and bipolar disorder, and paranoia, but she is also human.
☂☂ ι looĸ αт мyѕelғ ιɴ тнe мιrror вυт ι doɴ'т cαre αвoυт нow ι looĸ.
ι тry тo υѕe тнe мιrror тo ѕee мy ѕoυl. ι'м ѕo coɴғυѕed αвoυт wнo ι reαlly αм
тнαт ι'м нopιɴɢ тнe мιrror ĸɴowѕ мe вeттer тнαɴ мyѕelғ.
{ golden eyes } { dark brown hair } { pale skin } { 5'6 in }
Eva looks quite a lot like I imagine a woodland fairy/faery in a fairytale... except for all the strange clothes that fairies always seem to wear. Dark brown hair with a few darker and lighter streaks, exotic golden eyes, and pale skin with only a few freckles that aren't really very visible. At first sight, her hair seems dark brown. Just dark brown, no lighter or darker streaks; however, though most of her hair is brown, several streaks are a chestnut brown, lighter than the rest of her hair and she has two or three streaks that are black and frame the left side of her face. Those streaks are black but a natural shade of black, not the dyed "black almost turning blue" that emo people have. Even though those streaks are dyed, they are a normal, almost natural-looking shade of black. In fact, all of Eva's hair is dyed. At age fourteen she dyed her dirty blonde hair brown and two years later, at around the same time she was diagnosed with bipolar disease II, she dyed the two or three streaks that frame the left side of her face, black. Eva's hair is rather short but not so short that it seems like a boy's haircut, no, it's about shoulder length, perhaps an inch longer or shorter, and mostly curly, managing to look both slightly tousled and slightly neat at the same time and adding a fairy-ish yet somewhat dark look to her features. She usually leaves it the normal way, just straight and unstyled because she really doesn't care much about her hair. Her eyes can be considered pretty, but only after you manage to move past the surprise most people feel when they realize that her eyes are golden; they really are stunning because they are an extraordinary color but they are natural, a rare eye color that she only shares with her mother, her eyes are a rare color and manage to unsettle most people because of their strange tendency to change color. The color doesn't shift with her mood, of course, that would have been silly, it changes with the lighting of the room and the clothes she is wearing. When wearing dark colors on a cloudy day, her eyes seem a strange mixture of grey and gold. When wearing green, her eyes seem to be a strange blend of green and gold, maybe a faded green color. Eva's eyes are gold, not a light, see-through gold but a darker golden color, like this eye color. They are not the yellow-gold lenses most people wear when they say they have golden eyes, but a true gold that seem to give her a sort of mystical look. Her eyes are really very pretty because in the middle of them there is just a hint of grey, about the same shade as gunmetal grey. There are a few streaks of grey mixed in with all the gold. In the sunlight her eyes seem even more exotic than usual, they are a lighter gold color and the streaks of grey are less prominent, making most people think she's wearing colored contact lenses. She usually wears mascara to bring out her eyes and dark pink or red lipstick but doesn't use any other type of makeup except for concealer, which she uses to hide the dark circles under her eyes that, without makeup, show a lot due to her pale skin tone and lack of sleep. Now, let’s move on to her lips and teeth. Eva’s lips are not too large and not too thin but something in between, they're not ugly but not exactly pretty either, just something in the middle. Her teeth are almost perfectly white and gleaming and even though she had to wear braces for two years (from twelve to fourteen years old) they are now perfectly straight; she doesn't smile much, though, and when she does it's usually a half-hearted smile that doesn't show her teeth; however, though rare, her true smile is beautiful. Her ears are normal size, not too big and not too small but usually they are hidden behind her hair, except when she's wearing earrings, which is also not often. She doesn't have any piercings or body modifications of that type because she finds them ugly and undesirable; however, she does have a small tattoo of a bird, on her back. Now, for her build. I’ll have a hard time explaining this because she doesn’t really have a definite build like muscular or petite but a mixture of several. First off, I’ll say Eva is very thin, so thin that she fits into a 23 inch corset. Some people are jealous of her because she’s so thin but some criticize her weight, saying she is too thin and claiming she is anorexic. Her thin weight was brought on not by an eating disorder but by the fact that when she's in one of her manic phases, she finds it hard to concentrate on anything and forgets to eat. Though Eva is very slim, she is not anorexic, she just doesn't have a big appetite and is naturally thin. I guess you could say her build is petite but that wouldn’t be a hundred percent accurate because she’s rather tall despite being very slender. Eva is about 5 feet 6 and a half inches tall and is rather tall. Eva has a rather pretty and elegant figure but she really doesn't care about how she looks and her figure isn't usually noticed by most people. As to her fashion style, it’s pretty much simple. She likes wearing dresses once in a while but she also likes wearing jeans and t-shirts or blouses and she is always wearing either dark colors neutral colors, every so often mixing in cheerful colors. When she was young, all she wore was pink but when she turned ten her mother took her to see a James Bond movie and she saw the actress, Eva Green, she was named after. From that day on, she started wearing more neutral and dark colors, like Eva Green, aka Veser Lynd, wore in the movie. Then, her mother told her that cheerful colors were also pretty and showed her that Eva Green also wore cheerful colors. Évelyne had never been one who liked cheerful colors very much but she learned to mix her more solemn and dark style of dressing with cheerful, lighter tones and after a while, everyone in her house got used to her rather peculiar and, honestly, quite eccentric manner of dressing. Eva is pretty but not beautiful, having both flaws and virtues about her appearance. Even though she is pretty, she was never really popular, not even in middle school, because she always lacked a sense of style, always preferring to wear what she felt like wearing than whatever was currently the fashion. 
☂☂ ѕoмeтιмeѕ ι wιѕн ι coυld jυѕт dιѕѕαpeαr. ѕoмeтιмeѕ ι wιѕн ι coυld jυѕт вe ғoυɴd. мoѕт oғ тнe тιмeѕ ι wιѕн ι wαѕ αɴyoɴe elѕe oтнer тнαɴ мe.
{ serious & logical } { intelligent & cold } { independent & introverted } { shy & mysterious } { dark & complex }
Eva is very, very hard to describe because she's really a very complicated person, even without considering the disorders she has. I have already told you about her disorders and how they affect her personality and now, I will tell you who she really is inside, behind all the walls she has put up. I'll start with a few basic traits and then move on to more complex things by delving into these traits. Eva is Serious and Logical, Complex, Intelligent, Cold, Independent and usually Introverted, Shy, Mysterious, Insecure, Arrogant, and Dark. Let's start with serious & logical. Eva is a girl that never really smiles and almost never laughs, only when she's by herself. When other people are around her she is serious and solemn and very mature, so much so that she seems older than she is. She's very controlled in her demeanor, to point of being stoic at times and she never really let's loose and shows who she really is, most of the times because she doesn't want to. Eva doesn't want anyone seeing who she really is, especially because she's really a very fragile person. She puts up these walls to protect herself and pretends she really doesn't care about anyone or anyone, she pretends and tries to convince herself that she's hard through and through and that no one will ever be able to hurt her. The solemness in her demeanor is only one of her walls and even though she is naturally serious, she did know how to smile and perhaps she still does. Eva is a girl that most people see as serious and studious, a girl who doesn't care about anything and apparently has no feeling. No matter how much sadness she's feeling or how hurt she is, she never let's those emotions show on her face. I guess you could say it's a way of protecting yourself from others and from ever needing anyone else ever again. For Eva, it's become an instinct to be serious and callous when around people and to act aloof. Évelyne is really what might be described as an emotional wreck; because she never tells anyone how she feels and never rants, never complains about what she's going through, all the feelings are all mixed up inside of her. She cries alone and hides her pain so that everyone around her will think that she's tough and doesn't need anyone. Because she never tells anyone about how she feels and never shows her emotions when she's around people, she feels everything very acutely. Perhaps you might say that Eva is emotionally unbalanced and I won't argue because she puts so much pressure on herself and she feels so much stress that almost anything that happens can upset her. No matter how upset she is, she will never cry when there's someone around her, never say anything to betray her feelings, she'll cry later, alone. Eva is someone who is very hard to understand, a truly complex person and because of that, she barely knows herself and it's common for her to have lots of contradictory feelings about who she is and, with no way to explore those feelings, she is really rather unsure about who she is. I don't blame her, because of her disorders her personality has many sides, almost like a cube but with thrice as many faces. Just because she's confused about who she is doesn't mean that she isn't intelligent. No, Eva is very intelligent and I guess the word cunning could also be used to describe her. In fact, her intelligence is almost the first things people notice about her is the fact that her remarks, when made, are exceptionally intelligent. Yes, Eva is possess intelligence and wisdom that are quickly noticed and because of that people either respect her or find her creepy and rather eerie. Évelyne knows how to use her favourable looks, she is, I daresay, very pretty, and she knows exactly what to wear and what to do in order to make a specific impression. Her wisdom and her intelligence are ususally used to her favour and she is rather good at manipulating people and even fooling them. However, because manipulating is not of her nature, Eva is not exceptionally good at it, she is better at fooling. Deceiving has become a second nature to her, almost an instinct, and no matter how unsure about who she is she finds it easy to lie and pretend she's someone else. Actually most of the personality people think she has is fake, it's merely a wall she has put up to protect herself. Eva is an exceptionally gifted actress and she has gotten so used to pretending she is a cold, callous, and solemn person that she has managed to convince herself that severak of those traits really are a part of her personality. Her talent for deceiving is a double-edged sword and if she's not careful, one day she'll manage to cut herself with it by incorporating traits into her personality, traits that have nothing to do with who she is. Yes, one of the first things that are noted when Eva is in question is that she has the makings of an intellectual and, because of that, has to guard against arrogance. That leads me to another point, because of her intelligence and her coldness, Eva can easily come across as an arrogant person and, to a point, I guess you could say she is a bit arrogant but she really isn't much. The major trait in her personality is that she's cold, sometimes she can even appear to be callous. Eva is really not one who attracts people because of her warmth or compassion, no, most people are drawn to her merely because she's rather mysterious and intelligent. Otherwise, she is cold towards people. However, she is not naturally like that, her coldness is merely a shield that she uses in order to protect herself from ever becoming attached to someone. Eva likes to think that nothing matters to her and that she is what can be described as "hard through and through". Though most people will see her as a tough shell to break and as a girl who is composed and serious, inside, she's fragile and vulnerable and as easily broken as a crystal vase. Eva's natural instinct is to be reserved and quiet and to keep to herself and as a young girl, she was always very shy. Now, Eva does not seem shy at all, in fact, she radiates confidence. That confidence is really fake. As a child, she was always happiest when it rain so that she could stay in her room, alone, or hide behind an umbrella. Wearing a mask and pretending to be a callous person is Eva's way of pretending herself. The truth is, she is actually rather fearful of closeness and intimacy with others because she's afraid they'll hurt her or disappear. Eva is hard to get to know, and is often withdrawn. She tends to retreat into her own little world and often feels like she doesn't really belong anywhere. Rather than showing how vulnerable she is and becoming close with people, Eva strategically likes to come across as introverted, withdrawn, solitary, emotionally cold, and distant. Some of those traits really do illustrate how she really is, without the acting, she's really a solitary, introverted, rather distant girl who likes watching the world and acting. Eva is an animated speaker when speaking about what she likes and is interested in but when the subject is of no consequence to her, she is not one who likes to chatter. Yes, Eva is highly independent and self-sufficient and she doesn’t ask for help even when she most needs it. It's one of her faults as well as one of her virtues, her independence means she'll never just sit around and wait for things to get done, she'll do them herself but this also means that she is loathe to accept help from others and will never ask for help, no matter how much she needs it. Perhaps the biggest of her faults, Eva's insecurity is really what makes her unsure about who she is. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, Eva really is very insecure on the inside mostly because she's not sure about who she is and when she's feeling insecure, she searches for her personality but finds that she can't understand it. Perhaps one of the only times when she feels secure is when she knows she's well dressed and that her acting is nearly flawless, so that everyone will believe her. That is something that troubles her a lot, she understands people and the world but doesn’t understand herself, so her wisdom is limited. Évelyne has actually learned to project this confident air and she would rather seem arrogant than show how insecure she really is. Because of those self-esteem problems, Eva sometimes thinks that that must mean she doesn't like herself. Eva is a very complex person but I think she can be summed up correctly using the characteristics I previously listed, Serious and Logical, Complex, Intelligent, Cold, Independent and usually Introverted, Shy, Mysterious, Insecure, Arrogant, and Dark.
☂☂ тo мe, lιғe ιѕ α ɴever-eɴdιɴɢ вαттle, ι'м тιred oғ ғιɢнтιɴɢ α wαr ι cαɴɴoт wιɴ. love ιѕ αɴ eveɴ нαrder вαттle, oɴe ι нαve loɴɢ ѕιɴce ѕтopped ғιɢнтιɴɢ. тнαт'ѕ тнe proвleм wιтн lιғe, yoυ cαɴɴoт ѕтop ғιɢнтιɴɢ. love ιѕ eαѕy тo ɢιve υp oɴ, ιт'ѕ ɴoт αѕ ιмporтαɴт αѕ lιғe, ιт'ѕ opтιoɴαl.
There really isn't much to put here, Eva has never dated before but she knows enough about love that she knows it's not real. Her mother and father were never the happiest couple in the world and they fought frequently which made Eva start to believe that love only existed in fairy tales. From a young age she has known that she's different from most people and that finding somebody that would love her was going to be hard, if not impossible. Even in the books she read, love sometimes did not find a way. It's only proof that love can only end in heartbreak, even if you do marry someone and you love them, either you'll die or they'll die, ultimately ending in grief and heartbreak. So, Évelyne is single and not thinking about dating or crushing on anyone. She's straight, heterosexual, and probably will always be.
Form's format based on gїzмо's.
© of the character goes to me [&&wallflower].
© of the original images go to original, rightful owners.
© of the edited images goes to me [&&wallflower].
