...'Fallen of Faith' Poetry Thread...

[...Ғαℓℓɛи...]

...Ғαℓℓɛи σғ Ғαιтн Ƥσɛтяʏ...



A darkened Angel, some darkened dreams,
Come to me as nothing seams.
In life I dwell, yet in death may see,
May no life be left here unto me.



Here I, '...Fallen...', shall post my small scribbled writings so that the world may read them, if they really do wish. I understand many of you who pass this way may simply glance over this little tortured thread and keep walking. [That would be smart.]. Most of you propbably won't even read this small, dismal paragraph. But for those of you who do...

I am open to adivce, maybe even critique. All is welcome if you can see a way to improve these hurried words. You can post wherever and whenever you want, you can PM me about any subject which relates to this. Just, so you know, this is NOT an all-for-it poetry thread, this is my little personal island where I post my ideas so I don't loose them... and so that anyone with the care can see them too. So don't post your own poems here. And don't be down-right nasty with your feedback. Thank-you to those that have taken the time to read this.

...Ƭнαиκ-Ƴσʋ. Ѧαʏ ˩σʌɛ αи∂ ˩ιɢнт Ғιи∂ ʏσʋ....

[...Ғαℓℓɛи...]

A strange, quick poem this is... I am in need of feedback, if anyone sees fit to give it... I don't like this poem, save the first three lines, and I'm looking for ways of imporvement... it seams too... straight-to-the-point... you know? Oh, and I need a title.


A pocket full of whispers,
This wakefulness disturbed.
Two patched-up lovers shattered,
His anger finally curbed.

They took the risk in knowledge,
They understood it square.
Yet one thing was forgotten,
Life is never fair.

In one messed up moment,
Through drugs and endless drink.
Throughout the raging terror,
His heart began to sink.

The gun was pulled in rashness,
The trigger, just a click.
To his knees he fell in horror;
Just life’s old dirty trick.

[...Ғαℓℓɛи...]

Again, I need a title here. Hmm... I wrote this ages ago, and only just found it again. I was thinking it was too short, so I added verse 4 and 5 yesterday. Any feedback welcome, as always.

Black on black;
Red on red.
No need of redemption;
Haunted with dread.

To die is to learn;
The meaning of life.
To understand joy;
Experience strife.

Onyx fingernails;
Full black lips.
Blackened eyeliner;
Butterfly clips.

Tears of blood;
Through shadows dense.
Free of opinions;
Life on the fence.

Undying love;
A tragic waste;
Lessons learned;
Hardship faced.

A nightmare blurred;
Through night and day.
Living one’s life;
The gothic way.

[...Ғαℓℓɛи...]

Perhaps a better title needed.. maybe better wording...

Blind

I met you just a month ago,
You said you loved me whole,
I thought that I’d found heaven,
And then you took my soul.

You said you could be dangerous;
I said I didn’t care.
You warned me once and then again;
My heart that you would tear.

I guess I should have listened,
But you enchanted me so,
A trickster by heart, it seams,
Forgot humanity could go low.

I’d read a few books before,
Of murder and intrigue.
Yet theres no monster of this earth,
Who comes within your legue.

I tried to put this right agan,
To loose this I shall try.
I put in a fight, you put me right,
And now the end is nigh.

The night stained black and red;
Blood all soaking through.
I now feel as an idiot should,
I should never have met you.

I feel my spirit slipping now,
My death shall soon be here.
I’m glad the darkness came for me,
Before death I’ll shed no tear.

[...Ғαℓℓɛи...]

Critique welcome.



Vengeance

Music in the background;
Messing with my thoughts.
With spite my mind is turning;
To the pocket of my shorts.

Within that soft worn denim;
My torn-up heartbreak lies.
And in this empty room;
My rage wears no disguise.

A pitiful apology ruined;
The note all torn in two.
The last-moment explanation;
Saying why we were through.

I had told myself ‘never again’!
See what becomes of love?
One or both hearts shall break,
When push comes to shove.

Music in the background;
My thoughts are all in order.
No one shall ever again;
Break down my heart’s border.