Hazel's Tigers-- Work in Progress (Please Critisize!)

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Hazel's Tigers-- Work in Progress (Please Critisize!)

Postby ~¶♥Ƙαʏ♥¶~ » Wed Jul 06, 2011 4:22 pm

Hey, guys. This ISN'T my first story, but it is a story I feel the need to share and finish. Most of my storied never get completed, so this one must be special. Read it, and tell my what you think please! --Kay


Chapter One


“We could have had it all, rolling in the deep. You had my heart inside of your hand, and you played to the beat,” The voice drifted into the tiger exhibit. A pretty girl with mocha colored hair stepped into the room, instantly surrounded by the happy purrs of large cats. “Hey! How are you guys?” the 15 year old girl asked. She smiled, rubbing a tawny tiger’s head. “Jingi,” Hazel cooed. “Herassa,” She rubbed a Bengal tiger’s head, earning a purr from the she cat. “Kane,” The white tiger with blazing blue eyes grinned at her. “Mijani, darling,” A regal looking pale orange female nodded. “Birso,” A nearly red tiger with brown eyes snorted. “Baby Kaliana.” A creamy 1 year old tigress rubbed her head on Hazel’s leg. Hazel smiled, clipping different colored leashes onto matching harnesses. Kaliana tugged on her Russian blue leash, ready to go. Her older brother, Kane, licked at the navy blue leash. Birso rolled his brown eyes, his red leash nearly matching his reddish coat. Regal Mijani walked to the head of the group, her pastel pink leash pulled tight. Herassa sat beside Hazel, her lavender leash resting on her striped pelt. Jingi matched Kaliana’s energy as he jumped up and down, his black leash slipping slightly from Hazel’s grip. Hazel laughed, sliding the leashes onto a 1000+ lbs clip. They set off into the now closed zoo, the rosey hues of early sun set bathing them. A hour later, the tigers were happily back in the exibit and had settled down for the evening.

Kane narrowed his blue eyes at Jingi, a brotherly protective mood kicking in. “Jin, stay away from Kali, okay?” He growled, his white fur slick in the slight breeze that came into the enclosure. Jingi flicked his tawny colored ears in surprise. “Why should I, Kane?” Jingi said smoothly, no hint of emotion in his voice. Kane hauled himself to his creamy paws before he swiped at Jingi. “Because I don’t want to hurt you if you hurt her, that’s why,” His growl got the attention of the females and Birso. Herassa got to her paws quickly, darting in between the two larger males. “Enough!” She spat, and Mijani hurriedly added, “Do not start fighting in here; you can fight all you want when they put us to bed for the night.”

Hazel flopped down on her plush creamello bed. Her arms felt like they had been run over by a freight train several times. Her mocha hair clung in soft curls to her sweaty forehead; her favorite green tunic was covered in dirt and mud. She sighed, pulling on an old, way to large, hand me down shirt with ‘Don’t hate me, Hate the game’ written on it. She pulled on a grey pair of sweats, ratty running shoes and pushed her hair into a messy bun. “MOM, IM GOING RUNNING!” She yelled into the kitchen, grabbing her pepper spray and a bottle of water. “Okay, be back by 9:30, Hazel!” the voice of 39 years old Rosalina Rockwell carried down to her daughter's ears. Hazel rolled her unusual sapphire eyes, stepping out of the stucco house. The California heat was replaced by a soft, gently rolling breeze and warm evening. She took off at a sprint, slowing after a few houses to a comfortable run.

Lucas sat paitently in the grassy meadow just outside of the city limits. His shaggy black shaggy hair ruffled in the slight breeze, blowing it away to reveal stunning blue eyes. At 17, Lucas Zachary was not the type of person you'd think he was. Despite his bad guy exterior, he was actually really sweet. Although he'd never admit it, he had been in love with Hazel Rockwell since he first saw her two years ago. They had met on her 13th birthday party. His mom and Hazel's mom had been friends in highschool, and their dads were both in the airforce. Lucas shook his head, looking down at his phone. It blinked 7:32 p.m. at him, and he looked up as a shadow covered the screen. "You just going to sit there, or are we going walking?" Hazel teased, offering him a hand. Lucas smiled, taking her hand and she hauled him up. "I thought you weren't going to show for a second there..." Hazel rolled her sapphire eyes. "When have I ever not showed up? Hm, don't answer that!" She laughed, running ahead of the older boy. "Hey! No fair!" Lucas called, running lazily after her. With the grace of a cat, Lucas caught Hazel by the waist, turning as he fell so he landed with her tucked into his side. Hazel laughed, her eyes flashing as she pushed away from Lucas. "Cheat." She teased, and he stuck his tounge out. He stood up, offering his hand. "Copy cat! You just want to hold my hand." She smirked, taking his hand. Lucas smiled, pulling her up and kissing her lightly. Hazel giggled, pushing him away. "Quit, Lucas." She said half heartedly, then laughed as he tickled her sides. "STOP! IT TICKLES!" She protested, laughing as he continued to tickle her.
Last edited by ~¶♥Ƙαʏ♥¶~ on Sun Jul 10, 2011 4:22 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Re: Hazel's Tigers-- Work in Progress (Please Critisize!)

Postby ~¶♥Ƙαʏ♥¶~ » Thu Jul 07, 2011 2:11 pm

Characters in 'Hazel's Tigers' :


Name: Hazel Rai Rockwell
Age: 15
Looks:
brownhairVERYcurlyandwackygreenu-2.jpg
Hazel
brownhairVERYcurlyandwackygreenu-2.jpg (112.98 KiB) Viewed 132 times

Other: She works at the zoo at a city in California with the tigers. She is the only one the tigers will allow in thier exibit.

Name: Rosalina Rockwell
Age: 39
Looks: Image
Other: Mother of Hazel, her husband died when Hazel was 2 in a work accident, he was in the air force...

Name: Lucas Zachary
Age: 17
Looks: Image
Other: Lucas is a friend of the family, and has had a crush on Hazel sence she was 13 and he was 15.

Name: Jingi (Jin-ge)
Age: 3
Looks: Image
Other: He has a crush on Kaliana

Name: Herassa (Hare-a-saw)
Age: 3
Looks: Image
Other: Herassa (Hera) has a crush on Kane

Name: Mijani (Mij-ahn-ee)
Age: 3
Looks: Image
Other: Has a crush on Birso

Name: Birso (Bur-so)
Age: 3
Looks: Image
Other: Birso has a crush on Mijani

Name: Kane (Kayn)
Age: 4
Looks: Image
Other: Kali's brother and has a crush on Herassa

Name: Kalianna (Kal-e-on-ah) {Kali}
Age: 1
Looks: Image
Other: Kane's sister and has a crush on Jingi
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Re: Hazel's Tigers-- Work in Progress (Please Critisize!)

Postby ~¶♥Ƙαʏ♥¶~ » Fri Jul 08, 2011 5:17 pm

~Please Comment! I need some feedback!~
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Re: Hazel's Tigers-- Work in Progress (Please Critisize!)

Postby ~¶♥Ƙαʏ♥¶~ » Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:00 pm

Anyone? I really would like someone to comment on here....
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