Kodiak

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Who's your favorite couple/pair of characters?

Kodiak and Ellise
23
70%
Kodiak and Nymeria
5
15%
Alexa and Ellise
1
3%
Ellise and Laurel
3
9%
Other - Post who it is
1
3%
 
Total votes : 33

Kodiak

Postby Sonmi-451 » Mon Apr 04, 2011 10:56 am

Hey everyone,
This is a story I'm writing that is, obviously, entitled Kodiak, and I thank you for coming to check it out. I'll post certain sections/chapters as I get time, so it might take a while for the next segment to show up if I have to type it. :)

Prologue: Steel and Strangers

A collar of steel.
Why, why, why did they collar me? But I would just as much of an answer out of asking why they collared themselves with the metal of society. Perhaps it was rooted in the humans’ hatred of difference. Perhaps it was based in their fear of power besides their own. Perhaps it was started by their obsession with dominance. Perhaps... And yet, many humans talked of coexisting, but for every one that spoke peace, 100 screamed war, and, of course, the loudest ones won. And even because of just simple disagreements, neighbors turned on neighbors, husbands turned on wives, brothers turned on sisters. It was the age-old human story; that of betrayal and hatred and bloodshed, and I was a living example, a creature they chose to punish in prime hominid fashion.

I sat down on a bench outside my high school, Elizabeth High School, feeling thoroughly down and having nothing better to do than wait for the rest of my friends to show. Hearing footsteps approaching me, I turned to see Alexa and Evan, my two very best friends, behind me.
“What’s the matter?” Alexa’s amber eyes shone with worry at my bad mood, while Evan seemed rather bored with the ordeal. I had been down for a while, so Evan seemed to be tired of asking since the answer would be eternally the same.
“Ah, nothing. I’m just depressed as usual.” I gave a wan half-smile, shifting my eyes back down to stare at my feet. Ever since my dog had gotten out and been run over, I had been forever pessimistic, and nothing could shake me from my grim state of mind.
“Ok, we need to get you a boyfriend,” Alexa told me firmly. “Being in a relationship would probably boost your spirits, so it’s not just an option anymore, it’s a need.”
“And what boy in this school would ask me out?” Alexa’s pep talk was not working, as my mood was going down, not up.
“I’m sure there’s someone.” It was the first time Evan had spoken since she walked up with Alexa.
“Yeah, that boy is Alec,” I chimed in, and we all burst out laughing, even though my grin was one of necessity and desperation rather than true happiness. It was common knowledge that Alec, the smartest and most formal boy in school, had had a crush on me since eighth grade or maybe even before then, but I would never be his girlfriend because he was just too formal and talked like a scientist all the time. Shivering slightly, I drew my jacket closer around my body, the frigid January air snapping at my face with vicious teeth of frost. Suddenly something caught my eye. A boy I had never seen before, about 6’5” and looking like a senior, wearing nothing but a hoody, jeans and a DC brand hat to keep him warm even in the 20-degree weather, was walking up to the door with no backpack or even anything in his hands.
Alexa followed my gaze and told me, “Ooh, he’s hot, and it looks like he’s a senior and there’s no girl next to him, so he’s probably single too. He’d be perfect for you.”
Yeah. Great. The only problem with that plan was that he, whoever he was, didn’t even know I existed.

Chapter 1: The New Kid

I strode into the classroom, feeling very out of place in this holy house of learning that I seemed to be desecrating by existing on its grounds. The teacher jerked her gaze up from a piece of paper in her hand to stare intently upon my face, making me feel even more unwelcome.
“So you are Kodiak Johnson?” Her voice rung around the room, carrying the weight and strength of an elephant on its monotonous pitch, and I could sense her amusement at my odd name.
“Yeah.” I was very, very intimidated by this seeming drill sergeant of a woman, and I lowered my eyes to the floor, searching the carpet for an answer to my predicament.
“All right, you sit over there by Ellise.” She pointed to a desk next to a very pretty sophomore, and immediately my mood improved. Ellise regarded me with a cautious eye, and I returned her evaluation with a slight grin. I walked, almost swaggered, over to my new spot and pulled up a chair, enjoying the proximity to a girl that didn’t treat me like a soldier that needed to be commanded.
“Class, this is the new student, Kodiak Johnson.” I got many double takes at, undoubtedly, my alias, and I noticed most of the girls giving me interested looks. Every female except for Ellise. She remained as silent and emotionless as stone, and the sadness radiating off of her tall frame was almost intoxicating. It made me wonder why such a beautiful creature was so horrendously despondent, but maybe I didn’t want to know if her story was, almost impossibly, sadder than my own.
“You look really pretty,” I whispered, screwing up my courage to try to socialize with Ellise, but she still ignored me. Was there anything I could do to get Ellise to warm up? Shaking my head at the apparent hopelessness of the situation, I turned my attention back to teacher, who I had very fondly dubbed Ms. Hitler after a minute in her class.
“So, as all of you know except for Mr. Johnson, this is homebase...” She droned on for the rest of class period, allowing my mind to wander. I scanned my surroundings, getting smiles and even kisses blown at me from the girls I happened to make eye contact with and looks of venom from the boys. I didn’t really care about either gender though, for Ellise was the only one I would react to, yet she was the only one who wouldn’t even look at me.
Knowing I was probably pushing my luck but that it was worth a shot, I leaned over and muttered to Ellise, “So, even though we just got introduced by Ms. Hitler, my name’s Kodiak.”
I gave her a small smile, trying to charm her into talking and rather taken aback by her radiance.

Hoping it would shut him up, I whispered back to Kodiak, “And I’m Ellise, Ellise Lech.” But when I turned to look at this extremely annoying and cocky new kid, I found myself gazing into his eyes, pure, golden amber pools brimming with intelligence and humor and kindness. I had to physically force myself to tear away from his face, a true grin dancing across my lips at the boy sitting next to me. Alexa gave me a thumbs-up and an almost jealous look at Kodiak, and I smiled back, feeling, for the first time in almost two years, attraction to a boy, even though I only knew his name and that he was the hottest boy I had ever seen. Suddenly I realized he was the kid I had seen walking up to the door in a hoody and jeans in 20-degree weather. That just made him even hotter.
“It’s nice to meet you Kodiak,” I murmured, turning back to him, perfectly content to stare into his eyes for eternity. “You’re a senior, right?”
“No talking!” our teacher, Ms. Cronwell, barked. I almost burst out laughing at how Ms. Hitler fit her so perfectly, and clearly my amusement slipped through to my face, as Kodiak grinned back at me, his light brown hair complementing his tan skin.
“She’s a real disciplinarian, huh?” His words were so quiet I could barely hear them, even though his face was about a foot from mine. “And yeah, I’m 18, so I’m a senior.”
“Yeah, no husband or children or anything besides her job.” Occasionally I felt bad for Ms. Cronwell, but currently it was more fun to snicker about her pathetic life, or rather, lack of one.
“Ooh, ouch, that sucks for us,” Kodiak muttered, removing his hat from his head and running his fingers through his hair, making it even fluffier only to flatten it by putting his hat back on. I silently vowed to never try to understand the hair habits of teenage boys.
“Yep, but it gives us lots of entertainment when she’s not listening.” I turned to keep my gaze on Ms. Cronwell as I spoke, and, of course, she didn’t suspect a thing. I really had too much practice at deceiving teachers, but at least it was knowledge I used every day, even if not with the most benign intentions.
I heard him chuckle quietly to my left, then, when the bell rang moments later, he told me softly, “I look forward to sitting next to you for the next 5 months, Ellise.”
Maybe this new kid wasn’t so bad after all.

It turned out Ellise and I had gym together too.
“Hey stranger,” I greeted with a grin as I saw her radiant face again. She was so pretty... Wait, what was I thinking?! I didn’t even know if she was single!
Apparently my thoughts and the grim mood they bore slipped through to my face, as Ellise questioned, with concern rising in her shimmering brown eyes, “What’s the matter?”
She was soooo pretty when she was worried... Heck, she was beautiful any time. After all, facts didn’t depend on whether there was another boy in the picture or not, because I could think all day long about her elegance, but not say anything about it and not get in trouble with her possible boyfriend.
“Nothing. Nothing at all.” Hearing the gym teacher announce that we all needed to get changed, I sauntered into the boys’ dressing room, my change of clothes in hand, and quickly stripped and redressed into a sleeveless shirt and basketball shorts. As I walked back out into the massive gymnasium, many girls stared and pointed, which concerned me greatly. Was I not supposed to be wearing what I was?
“Um, is my shirt inside out or something?” I muttered to Ellise as I walked to stand by her. I had been the subject of much segregation and ridicule and malice during my time, so the apparent not-so-benevolent attention I was currently getting was nothing new but still disliked.
“No, it’s just… you have really good arms.” Ellise blushed slightly, her voice sinking to an embarrassed mumble.
“Oh… ok.” I did do one-handed pushups and pull-ups everyday, but I didn’t think it was really anything that special, but apparently all of the girls did and it was already very annoying. I ran a hand through my hair, wishing I hadn’t left my hat on the bench in the dressing room. “Well, it’s not that big of a deal, but whatever.”
Suddenly the teacher barked, “10 laps around the gym, no excuses!” and we all knew she meant business, and that we didn’t want to cross her and face the scorching wrath of Ms. Coach.
At least she wasn’t as bad as Ms. Hitler-Cronwell, because I would much rather run than face that woman. As soon as we were all lined up and ready to run or get whipped, the whistle blew, and while the other kids surged ahead, I started off with a nice, easy jog, saving my energy for the last lap or two. I had figured Ellise would do the same thing, but apparently she liked leading the pack the whole time. She turned around a few times to give me odd looks, as though asking, “What are you doing?” but eventually she just gave up and kept her focus on staying well in front of everyone else, where she – and her speed – belonged.

After the second time I lapped Kodiak, I decided he must be all muscles and no speed. I had kind of hoped he would be able to keep up with me so we could talk while running, as usually I was about a half a lap to a full one ahead of everyone else and therefore had no one to chat with, but oh well, his lack of acceleration couldn’t be helped. As I found myself lost in thoughts of Kodiak shirtless and Kodiak kissing me and Kodiak kissing me shirtless, someone flew by me with incredible (speed), snapping me out of my zone and causing me to accelerate as well. I wasn’t used to being second in running laps, and I didn’t intend to stay there for very long. However, much to my great surprise, I found the speed demon that had passed me was none other than Mr. Johnson himself. A slight playful smile crossed my face at the friendly competition and as I saw Kodiak’s calves ripple as he ran… Focus, Ellise, focus. You have a really cute boy to beat, so think about passing him and making sure he doesn’t pass you, not about his face. Picking up my pace, I surged ahead, coming within a few feet of Kodiak before not being able to sustain that kind of speed anymore.
“Just great,” I muttered to myself. “Now he gets fast. Couldn’t he have done that at the beginning?”
“Well, I could have Ellise, but then it wouldn’t have been very fun,” Kodiak called over his shoulder, his eyes meeting mine and seeming to light up even more.
Darn it; those thoughts of me being his girlfriend came flooding back in, and I blushed slightly then set my jaw, determined to catch up and angry with myself for being so weak in the extremely hot face of Kodiak. I extended my stride as much as I could and increased my (pace), but it was still not enough, for Kodiak passed me again, which meant we were now on the same lap and he was leading me. No one lead Ellise Lech for very long, no one, and Kodiak would not be the first. I threw my whole weight forward along with my mind and heart, determined to not get beaten, and I quickly gained ground. Along the last stretch, I caught Kodiak, my long legs finally succeeding over his. However, he didn’t let me accelerate beyond him, and our unofficial race ended in a dead tie, my foot crossing the line at the exact same time his did. Since we were about two laps ahead of everyone else, we got time to cool down, which I definitely needed, since, for the first time ever, I was tired from warming up.
“You’re pretty good Ellise,” Kodiak told me as we went to sit down on a bleacher and wait for everyone else to finish. “You’re one of the fastest I’ve ever unofficially raced.” He gave me that signature brilliant smile of his, and what was my name again? I seemed to have lost it in Kodiak’s white teeth.
“You’re not bad yourself Kodiak.” I gave him a grin of my own, hoping it wasn’t obvious as to how badly I was crushing on him. I barely knew Kodiak, but I knew him well enough to see that he was my dream guy – along with every other girl’s. “This is the first time I’ve actually been tired from warming up.”
“Yeah, it really doesn’t look like they work us that hard in this gym class,” he commented, his amber eyes scanning the surroundings, taking in every basketball hoop hanging from the ceiling and every painted line on the polished wood floor. “It’s a pretty nice gym, spotless and completely organized and everything.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, feeling stupid because we were talking about the gym for lack of a better subject.
Kodiak shifted his hand slightly, so much that it happened to rest on mine for a second, and immediately my heart started pounding far more than any run would make it, and I glanced over at Kodiak, wondering if he cared or even had known.
“Sorry about that; I didn’t mean to touch you,” he told me respectfully, removing his hand from mine. Well, Kodiak had known, but apparently he didn’t care that much, he just wanted to make sure I wasn’t taking it the wrong way. What a gentleman, but I definitely would’ve preferred that he cared in the way I did.

Ellise and I also had Colorado history together.
“What is this, the third class in a row?” I commented to her as I walked inside the door and found her talking with her friends.
“Yeah, I guess.” I got many odd and then interested looks from the circle of girls I was now standing in, so Ellise introduced me. “Guys, this is Kodiak, the new kid in some of my classes, and Kodiak, these are my friends.”
“Well, I’m pleased to meet you, but I’m sure you all have better names than Ellise’s friends, so may I ask what they are?” I gave a smile, and many of them seemed even more charmed.
“I’m Alexa,” one tall blonde girl replied, grinning back, “and this is Hannah, Evan, Courtney, Kenzie and Lizzie.”
“See, I knew you guys had better names than Ellise’s friends; I’m like a psychic or something.” This brought giggles and a smirk even from Courtney, who up until then had seemed as cold as ice and very bored. Lizzie, who looked very familiar, still stood just contemplating me, her golden eyes scanning my body like an X-ray. There was something odd about her, that was for sure. Suddenly I remembered that I had seen her on TV many times.
“Wait, you’re Lizzie Lightning, leader singer and bassist of Lunar Pull and ESPN-featured athlete, right?” I asked her, genuinely interested.
“That’s me,” she replied, still not done sizing me up. She was about five-eleven, the tallest of the group of girls, and I certainly didn’t want to pick a fight with her; she had a very lean, muscular – but curvy – figure and she just radiated toughness. Despite this, she was utterly and completely stunning. A little longer than shoulder-length blonde hair framed a positively radiant face, out of which two proud, calculating and intelligent golden eyes stared. She wore no makeup – she didn’t need any – and just an ASU T-shirt, basketball shorts and flip-flops but she still would put cricks in the necks of all the boys she passed. I had fallen in love with Ellise though, and I already knew that she was everything I could ever want or need.
“All right class, please go to your seats,” the teacher announced as she glided through the door, then asked “And who might you happen to be?” upon seeing me standing there with no seat to go to.
“Mrs. Burkhart, he’s Kodiak Johnson, the new kid,” Ellise piped up, and I gave her a thankful smile, happy to have her do the talking to this rather intimidating but sort of friendly professor.
“Well I’m happy to have you in my history class Kodiak.” Hey, she was the first teacher who didn’t start at my odd name and actually addressed me with my first name; I liked Mrs. Burkhart already. “And I’m going to have you sit over by Meghan right there.” She pointed to a spot next to another sophomore, this one not as tall as Ellise, with stunning dark blue eyes and wavy shoulder-length brown hair framing a thin, calculating face. I seemed to having pretty good luck with the people I got to sit by.
“Hey,” I greeted as I sank into my chair next to Meghan. I hoped she would at least talk to me, unlike Ellise at the beginning.
“Hi.” She was talking, a very good start, and as I looked over at her I found myself attracted to her incredible eyes, as deep azure as the night sky with hints of lighter blue in the center. “So where’d you move from?”
Ooh, a question about my past; what lie would I make up? “Um, I just came from home schooling; I didn’t move or anything.” The truth was I had spent the last ten years up until September of last year in captivity being treated worse than an animal and that this was my first year of formal education, but no one needed to know that.
“Ok, cool.” Meghan turned her gaze up to the front of the classroom, where Mrs. Burkhart had taken front and center sitting on a stool and apparently preparing to give a lecture, oh joy.
“So, this is Colorado History, and I have you lovely kids in my class for the next semester, so we should get to know each other, even though that might be a bad thing.” Mrs. Burkhart actually had a sense of humor and sarcasm and she called me Kodiak instead of Mr. Johnson; she was my new favorite teacher at this school even though I only knew three.

During the lecture I kept on glancing over at Kodiak, trying to get his attention, and I finally did about halfway through Mrs. Burkhart’s talk.
Ripping a paper out of my notebook, I wrote, “Hey Kodiak, it’s Ellise,” then whispered to Alexa, who was sitting next to me, “Pass this to Kodiak.”
Alexa nodded, then passed the note with an explanation to Evan, who reached over and handed the paper to Kodiak. He gazed at me curiously upon seeing me looking at his reaction, then scribbled something and passed it back.
“Hey Ellise, how are you?” it read. I smiled to myself, then scribed, “Pretty good, but this class is really boring.”
The note again went down the passing train, and Kodiak smirked slightly at my response. He was sooooooo cute when he smiled…

The rest of the class period went like that, me writing him a note and he writing something witty or funny or nice back. I know Mrs. Burkhart saw the piece of paper we passed around, but she didn’t really care since we were being quiet. That was another advantage Kodiak had over all of the other boys in the school – he didn’t talk way too much but he didn’t talk way too little either, and generally he had good or funny things to say instead of the perverted comments that came out of most guys’ mouths. Yet another thing that just made me fall even more head over heels for Kodiak. As if everything else about him wasn’t enough.
About five minutes before the bell rang, Mrs. Burkhart finished her first-day-of-class talk, and she let us talk “quietly.” Yeah, like that would ever happen. My friends and I formed a little group in the corner and talked about nothing until Kodiak came over and stood by me.
Upon hearing us discuss the weather, he commented sarcastically, “Boy, you guys have such interesting conversations.”
“Well, you can always go over and talk to the guys.” What was Courtney’s issue with Kodiak? She seemed to hate him with a passion even though she had only met him at the beginning of the period.
“I could, as the guys do talk about things besides the weather, but they also say lots of things that would scar five-year-olds for life, so no thanks.” Kodiak returned Courtney’s coolness, accompanied with an intense, almost questioning amber gaze in her direction.
“Yeah, they have a tendency to be perverted like that.” At that moment, Alexa was my hero because she was the only one of the circle who didn’t act coldly towards Kodiak.
“Boys will be boys I guess,” I added, feeling the staleness of my words and the conversation hanging in the air afterwards. Just after that, the bell rang, and I muttered to myself, “Saved by the bell.”
As I was walking out the door, destined to my locker which conveniently happened to be right next to Kodiak’s, Kaylyn Radtke, not a close friend but someone I at least liked, whispered to me, “Stay away from Kodiak ‘cause he’s mine.”
So much for that liking thing; I had a new enemy, one that I had actually trusted before, on my hands.

Chapter 2: Closer and Closer

As the days and weeks went by, Ellise and I became friends, nothing more, as we got to know each other better. Every day we would snicker about Ms. Cronwell’s lack of a life during homebase, try to beat each other unofficially at whatever we were doing in gym (Ellise usually won), and then pass notes and occasionally pay attention in Colorado history, while talking at our neighboring lockers whatever chance we got during passing period. I found myself thinking increasingly about how I would like her to be my girlfriend, about how great it would be to not have to hide the fact that I like her, although I probably wasn’t doing a very good job of it anyways. I also noticed that the kid named Alec Saville seemed to be as attracted to Ellise as I was, and the fact that I had competition sort of worried me, even though Alec didn’t strike me as a ladies man or even Ellise’s type. Finally I succeeded in getting her phone number, then spent many nights texting Ellise about all sorts of things, like the test we had tomorrow in history or how the school lunches were gross, and mildly to moderately flirting with her, like commenting on how pretty I knew she looked even though I couldn’t see her at that moment. School was easy for me; I had a photographic memory and a pretty high level of common sense so I didn’t really have to study at all, and good grades I didn’t have to worry about either. I joined the varsity basketball team even though the season had already started because they were sort of desperate for players, and the wrestling team I made easily too. My life, in general, was a breeze. The only thing missing was Ellise as my girlfriend, and I just needed to work up the courage to ask her out. Except for Ellise, almost every girl that was single and some that weren’t seemed interested in me, but Ellise was the only one I cared about yet the only one who didn’t seem to want me to be more than a friend, and so sometimes I wondered why I even hoped, but I knew that I would not quit until I got a definite answer. Finally, after however many days of debating and planning what I would say, I found the guts to ask Ellise out.

“Hey Kodiak,” I greeted as I waited by his locker so we could go to homebase together.
“Oh, hey Ellise. You look beautiful today.” He gave a smile, and instantly my heart melted. Why was he so perfect?
“Thanks. You know, you tell me that every day.” And every day it made my day, to have someone like him compliment me.
“Yes, because it’s true every day.” Kodiak shut his locker with his hat still on his head, which puzzled me. He knew we weren’t allowed to wear hats, so why did he?
“Um, you’re still wearing your hat.” I would have made a law saying Kodiak had to leave his hat on if I were running the school because he looked even hotter with it on, but hey, that was just me.
“Yeah, and?” We started walking down the hallway side by side, and I heard many whispers about how we were going out. If only that were true.
“Well, it’s a school rule that you can’t wear hats, and you know how Ms. Cronwell gets when you purposely don’t follow a rule.” It was actually sort of funny to see that vein in Ms. Cronwell’s neck stand out when she was mad, even though it meant whomever she was fuming at or even the whole class had lunch detention. You would think that would be enough to discourage us from ticking her off, but it was just too fun to mess with old Ms. Hitler.
“Yeah, but it’s fun to mess with Ms. Cronwell, and I am not going back to put my hat away.” Kodiak smirked slightly, probably at the thought of Ms. Cronwell’s reaction to his rebellion. “After all, no one likes being a perfect goody two shoes and doing what they’re told all the time; that would just be really boring.”
“That’s true,” I agreed. “After all, homebase can actually be interesting because of the little rebellions we start in the far corner of the classroom and all of the paper airplanes and stuff that you guys throw.”
“Yeah. You know, Ethan almost hit Ms. Cronwell with a paper airplane one time, but since she couldn’t figure out which one of us threw it, she didn’t do anything about it except get really unpleasant. We sat silently laughing about it for the rest of the period.”
When I gave Kodiak a curious gaze, as we sat right next to each other and I wouldn’t have missed something like that, he explained, “You weren’t there that day.”
“That must have been really funny.” Of course, the one day that I was gone, I missed all the good stuff.
“Yeah. It would have been even funnier if he had actually hit her, since I know Ms. Cronwell still wouldn’t have been able to figure out who did it even if they literally hit her in the face.” Kodiak’s face took on the unmistakable air of nostalgia as he remembered all the other stuff we had done to Ms. Cronwell.
“And then, there was that one time when-”
“No talking!” Both of us almost jumped out of our skins as we realized we had just entered the lair of the beast itself. Apparently our bodies had been on autopilot to take us to our first class, and that was where we found ourselves; in the cheerful, nice room of the cheerful, nice Ms. Cronwell.

There was a more rowdy silence than usual during homebase, if that was possible, as there were more silent mutterings and actions against Ms. Cronwell than normal. Ellise and I, however, just whispered to one another and tried to not do anything to provoke our teacher’s wrath. She didn’t even notice I was wearing a hat for all of her beady-eyed staring at the rest of the class.
“You know, that vein in her neck is almost purple now,” I murmured to Ellise, keeping me eyes on Ms. Cronwell and my body facing mostly forward so she didn’t suspect anything, a trick I had learned from Ellise herself.
“Yeah. It’s even grosser than usual, if that’s possible.” Ellise looked so repulsed I almost burst out laughing in the middle of the deathly silent classroom. Oh God, I loved that girl, as comic relief and romantically.
“That was a great look you had Ellise, it just made my day,” I told her, the humor her strange expression had imprinted upon my face still lingering.
“Well just I tried so hard on that.” Ellise’s sense of sarcasm also added to her overall appeal; she truly seemed to be the other half of me, minus two years. I really wanted to ask her out right then…
“Um, Ellise, there’s something I want to ask you.” I had never done anything like this before, so what would I say?
“Yeah?” Ellise didn’t seem like she was paying that close of attention, but maybe that was a good thing in case I made an idiot out of myself.
“Well, I was wondering if… If you would-”
The fire alarm cut me off, and we both jumped, myself more violently than Ellise because my ears were 10,000 times more powerful than hers. A burning pain pierced my brain due to the shrill shrieking of the alarm, and the courage I had worked up to ask Ellise out slunk back into the remotest reaches of my heart, only to show its elusive face again in many minutes or hours.
“Everyone outside!” Even through the ruckus, we all heard Ms. Cronwell’s shrill bark and immediately flocked towards the door.
It was all I could do to stumble out of the door, away from the terrible, maligning menace that deafened my ears and penetrated my brain with the growing, burning disease of agony.
“Are you ok?” Ellise asked worriedly, looking over at my probably pained expression. I wondered dully how she wasn’t being tortured by the sound being emanated from the fire alarm, then remembered she was human and had ears 10,000 times less powerful than mine.
“Yeah, I’m fine; this alarm’s just giving me a serious headache.” I breathed an audible sigh of relief when we finally got out of the school and into the open air and freedom for my ears, then noticed the extreme change in temperature but felt nothing due to my almost impervious resistance to weather. “Better now, but it’s definitely colder out here.”
As we were lining up by classroom so attendance could be taken, it happened that Ellise was right behind me.
“Well, that was fun,” she commented dryly, kicking the stones on the ground near her feet, and wrapping her arms around her body, shivering with cold in the nearly 20 degree weather.
Turning around and knowing I could get very serious repercussions if I was caught but risking the possibility of lunch detention for Ellise, I replied, “Yeah, it was just awesome. At least it wastes class time. Um, you look cold, are you ok?”
“Yeah, I’m fine; it’s just a little chilly out here.” Ellise suddenly got a sneaky look on her face, and I became wary, watching her very intently to make sure she didn’t-Suddenly she lunged forward, almost tackling me, and drew away just as quickly as she had struck.
“Hah, got it!” she exclaimed, victoriously holding my hat. Ellise gave me a teasing look, then slipped the hat onto her head. I was amazed – it actually looked really good on her. I mean, generally you don’t expect guys’ hats to look good on girls, but I guess Ellise was just the exception; she was so pretty it didn’t matter that it was a boys’ hat and not hers.
“You look really good.” I knew I was probably staring, but I didn’t really care – Ellise was too beautiful to not.
“Well thanks.” She gave a small grin that lit up her face even more. “And here’s your hat back.” She handed me the DC-branded cap and then asked, “So what were you going to ask me before we were so very loudly interrupted?”
My courage had not crawled out of the hole in my heart it had burrowed, so I knew I wouldn’t be able to repeat the words I had almost said. It was sort of a right-moment thing, and standing out in the bitter cold after just being very hastily evacuated for a fire drill was not very romantic. “Ah, nothing. Ellise, you’re making me cold just looking at you, so I feel the need to do something about it. Would you me to give you my shirt to keep you warm?” I wouldn’t be surprised if she refused altogether, but it was at least worth a shot, and she really was looking like a Popsicle.
“You’re serious?” Ellise was very stunningly and frozenly skeptical.
“Yeah, I’m serious. It would be ungentlemanly to let you freeze.” Why did Ellise have to make being nice so hard?
“But if you take your shirt off, won’t you freeze?” At least she was sort of interested in the idea now, but there were still no guarantees.
“Na, I’ll be fine. So would you like me to?” I crossed my fingers behind my back, hoping almost desperately she would say yes because I couldn’t stand to look at her frozen form for much longer.
“Well, since you threw out the idea, yes please.” Her body was starting to quake even more violently now, although some of her shaking may have been dramatization.
I quickly pulled off my shirt, the wind biting at my bare skin with furious frosty fangs but failing to induce a reaction, and handed it to Ellise, although she almost dropped it due to staring at my chest. She reddened when she realized I noticed she was staring, and put my shirt on, the added warmth taking effect almost immediately.
“You better?” I gave her a smile, already knowing the answer due to the return of color to her previously pale face.
“Yeah, thanks Kodiak.” Ellise returned my grin, looking a whole lot more beautiful now that she wasn’t frozen. “Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, I’ve been in a whole lot colder weather and, as a gentleman, I am required to keep you warm rather than myself,” I told her, folding my hands across my bare chest and ignoring the cold that seemed to be defeating everyone else. Around me, mutters of, “It’s too cold out here!” and “When will we get to go inside?” swirled.
Suddenly Ms. Cronwell hollered, “All right, we’re going back inside now!” and I heard her whisper to herself, “Too bad we can’t just leave you monsters out here.”
Thanks. I loved you too Ms. Cronwell.

I still had Kodiak’s shirt on when we reached the safety and warmth of the classroom, and I didn’t really intend to give it back anytime soon not because I was cold anymore, but due to the fact that Kodiak had the best abs I had ever seen. His shirt also smelled really good because of the cologne he wore, so I would maybe give him it back at the end of school. Maybe.
As we sat down at our assigned seats, Kodiak whispered to me, “Um, can I have my shirt back now, unless you still need it to warm up?”
“Well, I’m still sort of chilly.” I still wanted some time to admire him shirtless, so no way would I give it back. That’d be defeating part of the purpose for taking it to begin with.
“Oh, ok.” He doesn’t suspect a thing. Good. I never knew I was so good at lying, but maybe Kodiak was just playing dumb to be a gentleman. Nah, I was just that good at lying.
Ms. Cronwell swept into the room and looked at all of us warily, with a hint of disappointment in her stature. Maybe she was disappointed that she didn’t get to leave us outside to freeze, because we all knew she thought us to be monsters and we all thought, no, knew her to be a disciplinarian who defied the rule “Teachers don’t want to harm their students” and wanted corporal punished to be legal still. Yep, that must have been what happened, because I couldn’t think of anything else that would chagrin her.
Her beady eyes soon picked out Kodiak’s bare torso and she barked sharply, “Where is your shirt Mr. Johnson?” Much to my surprise, Cronwell didn’t even react at the sight of Kodiak’s very well-toned chest. Was that woman blind or something?
The bad part was all eyes were now on him, and all of the girls were very obviously interested in my Kodiak. How dare they!
“Well, I gave my shirt to Ellise to keep her warm since she didn’t have a jacket.” Kodiak remained polite even though Ms. Cronwell was anything but; a far cry from what almost any other high school boy would have done.
“How admirable, but according to school dress code, you are not allowed to have your shirt off, so you should put it back on before we meet with the principal to discuss your punishment.” Ms. Cronwell was coldly and maliciously teasing Kodiak with no respect for him and the fact that he had done the right thing even though school rules forbade it at all. But perhaps she didn’t know he had done the right thing, because as far as I could tell Ms. Cronwell had no conscience or even a heart.
“And now it’s an offense to be a gentleman and show some chivalry to a lady?” Kodiak replied angrily, rising from his seat to tower by at least a foot over Ms. Cronwell. “Now it’s a crime to do the right thing? Screw the school rules, put in me in detention or even suspend me for defiance, but I know I did the right thing, because the wrong thing would have been to let a lady like Ellise freeze.”
“Well, Mr. Johnson,” Ms. Cronwell replied icily, her voice full of frost, “you have just earned yourself an even greater punishment due to speaking disrespectfully towards a teacher. And you do have the right to remain silent, so I would suggest you use that.” Her blue eyes were full of satisfaction and her mouth was upturned in a pleased smirk. She was relishing in her victory over Kodiak, and it just made my blood boil with hatred for this woman that was supposed to shaping our minds for the better but was instead exhibiting a perfect example of the kind of situation none of us wanted to be in.
“Yes, I do, but according to the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, I also have the right to freedom of speech as a legal citizen of the United States.” Kodiak returned her coolness with a piercing edge of venom in his words, and I found an even greater respect for this not-so-new-kid that I wanted desperately to be my boyfriend. “And the truth that I spoke is not hurtful or disrespectful, it’s just something you don’t want to hear so you’re trying to use your power to shut me up, therefore dropping to the level of the Chinese government, although that might almost be an insult to the Chinese, because at least they do it successfully.”
The whole class gave an “Ooh,” at this, egging on the argument between teacher and pupil.
“Mr. Johnson, you should keep your mouth shut lest you incur any more punishments as you are already suspended for defiance and showing disrespect to a teacher.” There was no pleasure at Kodiak’s suffering now, only annoyance clouding Ms. Cronwell’s voice. Apparently the game of torturing her student lost its fun when he showed intelligence to rival and overcome hers. It was unfair and unjust, we all knew it and secretly hoped Ms. Cronwell would die from a heart attack, get fired or get a life and realize her students hate her, but that hadn’t happened yet and it didn’t really look like it would occur anytime soon.
“Fine. You know what, fine.” Those were the very last words I would have guessed to come out of Kodiak’s mouth in a moment like that. “I give up, because fighting for justice in such a worthless place for such a worthless cause will achieve nothing except undeserved and avoidable punishment. I think Mr. Washington, Adams and Jefferson would be appalled at this violation of the United States Constitution, but they’re just a bunch of old dead guys, aren’t they? It’s not like they founded the nation and its principles or anything.”
I understood about a quarter of that, but it sounded smart, smarter than anything Ms. Cronwell had ever said, so I was just going to go with it and say the guy I loved with all my heart also happened to be a genius.

I was escorted down to the principal’s office by Ms. Cronwell, still shirtless and ironically still disobeying the law that had got me into all of this trouble to begin with, although this time it was her eagerness for punishment rather than my sense of chivalry to blame.
“You wait here until Mr. McMullen is able to see you.” She pointed tersely to a chair just inside the office door, and I sat down, giving a sigh a relief once the Wicked Witch of EHS was gone. The office staff directed me many curious glances, as it probably wasn’t every day that they saw a shirtless student waiting to see the principal. I yawned, knowing Mr. McMullen was much more reasonable than Ms. Cronwell and that I probably wouldn’t get in any serious trouble, just a talking-to or maybe a phone call to my older sister Nymeria. When the great wooden slab finally swung open and a voice inside called, “Come in!” I couldn’t wait to just get the lecture over with and move on with my life. After all, me being shirtless wasn’t going to kill anyone so why did Ms. Cronwell have to make it out to be some sort of federal offense?

“So why are you here Mr. Johnson?” Mr. McMullen leaned forward and looked me in the eye, his blue ones searching my brown ones. Him calling me Mr. Johnson wasn’t nearly as bad as Ms. Cronwell because he at least showed me some respect while she did it just to annoy me.
“I’m here because I gave my shirt to a girl to keep her warm during the fire drill and then got yelled at by Ms. Cronwell.” Somehow he could tell I wasn’t telling the complete truth, as he raised an eyebrow at me and made it clear that he wanted the whole story. “Ok, well I did argue with Ms. Cronwell after she yelled at me for disobeying the dress code ‘cause I knew I did the right thing even though it was not following the rules.” Underneath the table I crossed my fingers, hoping he would just brush it off and let me go.
“Well, it is against school dress code to have your shirt off in class,” he gave me a piercing, calculating look, “but I do agree with you on the fact that you did the right thing.” A sigh of relief escaped my mouth and Mr. McMullen smiled slightly. “However, being defiant towards a teacher, no matter what the situation, is unacceptable, so…”
“So what?” I really hoped there wouldn’t be any sort of implications regarding my behavior, even though it was technically the grounds for a referral or even suspension.
“…So as long as you stay here for the rest of the period and let Mrs. Cronwell cool down, then I won’t punish you.” The words came almost methodically, like I wasn’t the first offender.
“I take it you have experience in dealing with Mrs. Cronwell’s wrath?” I could certainly imagine her sending many students down, maybe even dozens a day, since I certainly wasn’t the worst one in the school.
“You have no idea Kodiak.” Mr. McMullen shifted in his chair and ran a hand over his short, trimmed tawny beard. “You have no idea.”
“Yeah, but I can definitely guess that the Wicked Witch keeps your office pretty darn busy.” Mr. McMullen and I seemed to be kindred spirits – at least on the topic of Mrs. Cronwell.
“They still call her that, huh?” He seemed mildly surprised but also amused. “I guess some things never change.” Maybe they called her that when he was in high school.
An awkward silence hung in the air for nearly a minute due to the lack of a subject until Mr. McMullen asked, “So which girl did you give your shirt to?”
“Um, well…” Did he really have to ask that? No, he didn’t; his slight smirk gave his true intention of amusing himself with high school romance away. “Well, it was… Ellise, Ellise Lech.”
“And I take it that you find her attractive?” Did I really have to have this conversation, with the principal of all people? Maybe I owed him for not writing me up when he should have, but did he really have to start this instead?
“Well… Yeah.” I was trying to give as little information as I could get away with since I wasn’t exactly comfortable with my current situation. I still couldn’t believe I was having this conversation to begin with, much less with the Mr. McMullen.
“How nice. You know, I met my wife in high school.” Finally we got off the topic of Ellise and me, but this was still about as awkward.
“That’s cool.” There was really nothing else for me to say or do, so I just went with it and tried but failed to reduce the ungainliness of the conversation. The air was still with want of a subject that wouldn’t induce a feeling of incompetence to the conversation for many seconds.
“So how are your grades?” Mr. McMullen finally asked, ending the long silence that we both suffered through.
“I have all As and, in a couple classes, my grade is higher than 100 percent.” My grades were something to be proud of, especially since this was my first year of formal schooling.
“Good. And how’s wrestling going?” At last we came to a topic that I actually would talk about; what a concept.
“Pretty good. I’m first in the state for my weight category and I’m undefeated so far.” I really didn’t think I was going to become defeated anytime soon, as I had already faced the second-best in the state and beat him handily, but I didn’t want to sound pretentious, so wisely I kept my mouth shut.
“That’s great! I hope you bring home a first place for us Kodiak. It’s been a long time since we’ve had one of those.” A kind of weariness filled Mr. McMullen’s voice, as though he was used to failure in athletics.
“I will.” As the bell for second period rang and I left the office, I had a feeling Mr. McMullen and I were going to become very good friends over the next half of the year.

“Where is he?” I muttered to myself, hope for a glimpse of Kodiak as I wildly glanced around. A shirtless guy as attractive as Kodiak should be easy to spot even in a crowd of a thousand, so I began to worry that he really had been suspended, and, of course, it was all my fault. Anxiously I peered at the clock, noting that the time was 9:31, then continued to scan my surroundings for a sign of Kodiak. Finally I spotted him coming down the hallway towards me, and, even though I was relieved, my heart began to pound even faster in my chest due to his attractiveness. Why did I have to fall so hard for him? Why couldn’t I be like Courtney, who seemed to hate everything about him? Then I wouldn’t have to deal with that feeling in the pit of my stomach that I got every time he looked at another girl or worry about how I looked every time I was around him. But I knew I could never hate Kodiak; if anything, I fell even more in love with him every second I spent around him.
“So you didn’t get suspended?” I fell into step with him as he came beside me and gave him his shirt back, and I saw a twitch in his arm, as if he had wanted to put it around me. No, I must have just been daydreaming.
“Nope, I didn’t even get in trouble,” Kodiak told me as he slipped his t-shirt back on. Taking his hat off and running a hand through his hair, he looked down at me, and for an instant I was captured in his mesmerizing eyes, their amber depths so perfect… Just like everything else about him.
“Then why’d you take so long?” I hoped I didn’t come across as pushy, but if some stupid reason kept me from my Kodiak, then someone was seriously going to get slapped.
“Mr. McMullen told me that he wouldn’t punish me if I stayed in the office for the rest of the period to let Mrs. Cronwell cool down, so I did.” We had arrived at our lockers, so I opened mine and threw my books in to pull out my bag of gym clothes.
“Well that’s cool. You’re not in trouble and you got to skip class.” Turning back down the hallway, I waited for Kodiak to catch up then started walking again.
“Yep.” A silence of a few seconds hung in the air before being broken by Kodiak. “ Ellise, there’s something I want to ask you.”
“Yeah?” I turned to look up at him and he stopped to look down at me, taking both of my hands in his and making my heart nearly jump out of my chest.
“Well, I wanted to ask you if… If you-”
Alec suddenly appeared out of nowhere, ruining the moment with his rapid speech and overuse of monstrous words. “Salutations Ellise. Have you completed the composition Mrs. Burkhart delegated us to write last week?”
Now it was my turn to look down, because Alec was about three inches shorter than me. “Um, yeah, I finished it last night.”
“Good.” Alec bustled off as quickly as he had come and I was relieved to have him gone.
Turning back up to Kodiak, I asked, “So what were you going to ask me?”
“Nothing.” A cold air emanated from Kodiak now, and he refused to look at me. I thought I saw pain in his eyes before tears that I wouldn’t let fall filled mine so much that I couldn’t see.
Why did rejection have to hurt so much? It felt like I had been stabbed in the heart with a steel knife, plunged into my chest by Kodiak’s hand. Well, if he wanted to play a game of blades then I might just have to draw a sword.

Why hadn’t Ellise told me she was going out with Alec? Why hadn’t she? There had been plenty of times when she could have told me, like when we were talking at our lockers or even we were texting one another. But why would she tell me? It wasn’t like it was my business who she dates. But I still couldn’t stop the feelings of pain and betrayal and jealousy that ran rampant through my veins. Sighing, I stepped into the boys’ locker room in the gym to change and appeared back outside about a minute later. Weren’t boys supposed to be the heartthrobs, the ones that girls fell for? Weren’t boys supposed to be the ones to get liked, not do the liking? Apparently not, because I disobeyed both of those rules every time I set my eyes on Ellise. I found Ellise talking with her group of friends, probably about me, on the opposite side of the gym, and she met my gaze with a cold, pained one of her own. Her eyes were slightly red, like she had been crying, and suddenly I realized how much of a jerk I had been to her in the hallway over there. Maybe she wasn’t dating Alec if she was crying just because I got angry with her, or maybe she was and just was upset that her friend had been so cold to her, but either way I knew and I had been a stuck-up idiot and had made her cry for no reason at all. I would have to find a way to say sorry.

During the first lap of five that we had to run, Ellise got ahead of me at first but I soon caught up to her and tried to apologize.
“Hey, um, I just wanted to say-” was as far as I got before she took off sprinting in front of me. Apparently she wanted to make it difficult, but I wouldn’t give up until she had heard my confession of guilt. For the second time around, I slowed down, all the way until I was dead last, waiting for Ellise to lap me so I could run next to her.
When she did finally pass me, I ran into step beside her and was able, yet again, to only say, “Hey, um, I just wanted to say-” before she took off. I cursed under my breath at the fact that I was having to do all this just to apologize, then started dashing after her.
My long legs ate up the distance between Ellise and me and I was reminded of how beautiful she looked when she running. Within a few seconds I was right beside her and pleading with her, “Please slow down and listen to me for once!”
“Why should I?”A venom I had never known Ellise to have filled her voice and anger mixed with pain flared in her eyes as she turned to look at me. Oh well; at least I had her attention even if it wasn’t the kindest.
“Because I want to apologize for being such a jerk in the hallway.” She paused long enough for me to catch up and then looked up at me with a little less contempt. “And so I just wanna say I’m sorry.”
A relieved smile flitted across her face and kindness that I felt was long overdue returned to her expression. “No problem Kodiak. And thanks for apologizing, although I’m probably the one who needs to apologize since I seriously overreacted.”
“Well, your apology is accepted, and thanks for accepting mine.” I returned her grin with one of my own, happy she wasn’t mad at me anymore, but still internally upset at the fact that she was dating Alec.

I wondered why Kodiak had even been cold with me to begin with as we walked back to our lockers after gym, but soon put it out of mind when I remembered the test we had in history that I forgot to study for.
“Did you study for that test we have next in history?” I asked Kodiak as he bent down to put his books in his locker.
“Yeah.” He looked surprised that I had even asked. Of course he had; he probably wanted to maintain his 105 percent or whatever degree of A-plus he currently had. “You didn’t, did you?” A smirk crept across his face as he rose back up to his full height and shut his locker.
“Nope.” Kodiak knew me almost too well. “If you don’t mind me asking, why were you mad at me before gym?” Hopefully he would answer, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t. Boys were almost as bad as girls about that kind of thing.
It was a few seconds after we had started walking that Kodiak finally answered. “Why does it matter? We’re fine now, so I don’t see why it does.” Of course, a typical boy answer; it avoided the question and therefore the consequences.
“Well I’m just curious.” Couldn’t he just answer the stupid question?
“I’ll tell you later,” he told me quietly as we walked through the door of Mrs. Burkhart’s history class to take a test that I was destined to fail.

“So, this is your 1800 through 1950 history test; I hope you all studied.” Mrs. Burkhart settled herself down upon a stool in front of the class and watched as the tests were handed back through the rows. “And if you didn’t, well, just cross your fingers and hope you get lucky.”
“Thanks for the encouragement Mrs. Burkhart,” I muttered to myself as I was handed my test, but I did cross my fingers under my desk and started praying to some unknown deity.

The test really wasn’t as hard as Mrs. Burkhart made it seem, and even without the night of studying that everyone else had I still was pretty confident that I passed or maybe even got a good grade. As I checked over my work, I looked up to see Kodiak gazing at me. He quickly glanced away when he realized I had noticed, but this unusual behavior puzzled me. Maybe it had something to do with what he had tried to ask me two times but had never been able to say. Hopefully he would re-ask that question soon so I wouldn’t be left wondering the whole day. Bringing my eyes back down to my paper, I soon became immersed in the question I had been undecided on about which National Park was the oldest in Colorado. Finally I remembered that Rocky Mountain National Park was the tenth-oldest in the nation, then bubbled in that answer and rested my head on my hands. Glancing round, I let my mind wander and my eyes gain a mind of their own as I scanned the room aimlessly, the surroundings and the people as familiar to me as the back of my own hand. My gaze rested upon Meghan, the girl next to Kodiak, who was diligently triple-checking her test. I envied her position on the seating chart and also her looks; she sat next to Kodiak and she was extremely pretty, far prettier than I thought myself to be. The odd part was she had never shown any interest in any guy, even Kodiak, though she probably had guys asking her out left and right. Actually, she was probably being the smart one, like she always was, by avoiding guys, because trouble and dating seemed to be synonyms, although I wouldn’t know much about that what with my one-time experience going out with someone. However, during those six days of not being single, I did learn something: Reiley Davis certainly lives up to his reputation as a player. But my one unwise dating adventure wouldn’t deter me from going out with another guy; my awkwardness around members of the other gender that I found attractive did that all on its own. Every time I was near Kodiak I seemed to act as unattractive as possible, as I tripped a lot, even though my feet really weren’t that big for my five-foot-ten frame; I knocked a lot of things over, including a bottle of iced tea all down Kodiak’s front one time; and I found it difficult to say what I meant because my tongue would always tie itself in knots due to nervousness. No wonder I hadn’t been asked out since eighth grade; those qualities weren’t exactly very endearing. Oh well; it seemed to me that the only guy I actually wanted to ask me out never would, so if any other guys would have liked to was irrelevant in my view.

I gave Ellise a slight smile as I took her test from her and placed it upon Mrs. Burkhart’s desk, along with the rest of my row’s.
“So how do you think you did?” Her confession of not studying hadn’t left me in the highest hopes of her getting a good grade, but Ellise did take good notes, so she probably remembered a lot of the things on the test. I hoped.
“Pretty good for not studying.” She returned my grin with a radiant one of her own, her brown eyes shimmering and her beauty very distracting.
“Cool.” I never seemed to have good things to say when I was around Ellise. I could talk and talk and talk all day long about almost anything when I wasn’t around her but her presence reduced my vocabulary to one-and-two-word sentences.
“Yeah. I’ve got an A in this class anyways, so I’ll still be passing unless I got like a 20 percent or something.” She grabbed her binder and pencil bag off her desk and waited for me to get mine, a shadow of tiredness haunting the fine contours of her face. Turning quickly, she paused for a moment to let me get into step with her and then walked out of the door with me at her side. As we fought our way through the crowded hallway, Ellise asked, “So, since you never answered me before, why were mad at me during gym?”
Oh God, how would I explain? “Are you dating anyone?” blurted out quickly, leaving me in an embarrassed and wary silence.
“No.” I breathed an inner sigh of relief as Ellise looked over at me curiously, a humorous look upon her face. As we struggled through the crowd with our binders held up like shields, we looked rather like medieval soldiers pushing through a battlefield decorated with Aeropostale, DC and Nike logos. “Do you know of anyone that would even want to go out with me?”
“Well, that Alec Saville seems pretty interested in you.” I may have been a boy and perhaps not the most observant one at that, but it was flamingly obvious that Alec really liked Ellise, and that, combined with his showing up at her side a lot, made me think that they actually were going out.
“Oh, yeah.” Ellise gave a slight giggle, her long brown hair falling around her face and framing her beauty like a halo. “He’s been like that since seventh grade, and I’ve noticed but never really cared.”
“Oh, ok.” Somehow an awkward silence managed to consume us even though the hallway was nearly as loud as an elephant stampede. Not knowing what to say, I looked down at my feet and let them guide me to my locker. The courage that had been bottled up all day and never used began to creep back up my throat as I fumbled over my combination. “I know someone who would want to go out with you though.” Somehow, I was able to keep my voice understandable and pretty firm.
“Who?” Ellise was genuinely interested; this was my chance. As my heart raced and began to work its way from my chest up into my esophagus, making it rather hard to breathe, I prepared myself to say one little two-letter word that would either make or break my heart.
Opening my mouth, I wasn’t able to even make a sound before Kaylyn Radtke, a pretty obvious admirer of mine, walked up in between Ellise and I and told me, “Hey Kodiak,” completely ignoring and shunning Ellise behind her.
“Hey Kaylyn,” I replied, trying to be as polite possible without revealing my frustration at having another moment to ask Ellise out taken away from me. Shooting a lethal glare at Ellise as she passed, Kaylyn strode off, clearly just dropping in to interrupt my conversation with Ellise. What a typical jealous high school girl.
“She is so jealous,” I muttered after Kaylyn had left, getting a nod and an exasperated sigh from Ellise.
“I know! I can’t even have a conversation that lasts more than two words with you that she doesn’t give me a death stare!” Ellise slammed her locker, clearly annoyed at the extent that Kaylyn would go to disrupt Ellise’s and my exchanges. Calming down a bit, Ellise questioned, “So who wants to go out with me?”
Last edited by Sonmi-451 on Thu Apr 12, 2012 12:24 pm, edited 7 times in total.
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Sonmi-451 wrote:Perhaps those deprived of beauty perceive it most instinctively.
Sonmi-451 wrote:To be is to be perceived. And so to know thyself is only possible through the eyes of the other. The nature of our immortal lives is in the consequences of our words and deeds, that go on and are pushing themselves throughout all time. Our lives are not our own. From womb to to tomb we are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.
My couples thread and my books Kodiak and Triple Crown
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Sonmi-451 wrote:I believe death is only a door; when it closes, another opens. If I care to imagine heaven, I would imagine a door opening. And behind it, I would find him there, waiting for me.
Sonmi-451 wrote:Knowledge is a mirror, and for the first time in my life, I was allowed to see who I was, and who I might become.
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Re: Kodiak

Postby Sonmi-451 » Tue Apr 05, 2011 10:04 am

The Kodiak fanclub (all of the people that make writing this story worthwhile):
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Last edited by Sonmi-451 on Mon May 07, 2012 3:02 am, edited 9 times in total.
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Sonmi-451 wrote:Perhaps those deprived of beauty perceive it most instinctively.
Sonmi-451 wrote:To be is to be perceived. And so to know thyself is only possible through the eyes of the other. The nature of our immortal lives is in the consequences of our words and deeds, that go on and are pushing themselves throughout all time. Our lives are not our own. From womb to to tomb we are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.
My couples thread and my books Kodiak and Triple Crown
Note for mods: Llover is my friend in real life that uses my computers.
Currently trading Growing White July, Nonballoon, Sunjewel Bun and various Advents
Sonmi-451 wrote:I believe death is only a door; when it closes, another opens. If I care to imagine heaven, I would imagine a door opening. And behind it, I would find him there, waiting for me.
Sonmi-451 wrote:Knowledge is a mirror, and for the first time in my life, I was allowed to see who I was, and who I might become.
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Re: Kodiak

Postby Tabuu » Tue Apr 05, 2011 12:51 pm

:D Great story! I can't wait to see the rest!
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Mai scalemates are so cute! <3 Click for a bigger image + names!
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Re: Kodiak

Postby Sonmi-451 » Tue Apr 05, 2011 2:46 pm

“I, um, well…” Raising an eyebrow, Ellise looked stunningly amused. How would I tell her? How could I tell her? “Um, well, Ellise, I would like to go out with you.”

Chapter 3: An Item

“Um, well, um, well…” I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t think. Heck, I could barely breathe because of my shock. “I, um…” Kodiak was looking worried and discouraged and I still couldn’t think, much less speak. It took another long second for my mind to clear, and I was finally able to articulate my answer. “Yes, of course!”
“Really?” Kodiak’s eyes were twinkling and an almost blindingly white smile was spreading across his face; it warmed my heart even more to see how much I meant to him.
“Really. You know, I’ve actually had a crush on you since we first met and I thought you didn’t feel the same way and just thought of me as a friend.” I gave him a huge grin, feelings of overwhelming joy replacing my shock.
“ I’ve actually had a huge crush on you since the day we met too, and I thought you just wanted to be friends. I guess this shows how hopelessly in love I was with you that I didn’t realize how you felt earlier.” Kodiak placed his hands on my waist and drew me to him, but I didn’t really notice it through the next wave of shock that hit me.
“You… were hopelessly in love with me?” I asked, dumbfounded that any guy would say such a thing to me.
“I am hopelessly in love with you Ellise.” He was leaning in closer, his head only a few inches from mine now. My heart was beating a hundred miles an hour in my throat and yet again I could barely breathe. “And you’ve just made my entire year by saying yes.” Before I could react or say anything, he kissed me. It was definitely the best moment of my life, followed closely by when he asked me out a minute earlier.
He pulled back and then gazed deeply into my eyes. “You know Ellise, I’ve learned a lot since I met you, but one thing has definitely stood out.”
“What is that?” I asked him, perfectly content.
“I love you, Ellise Renee Lech.” With that, he walked off to his next class, and, after a few seconds of just standing there, attempting and failing to comprehend what had just happened, I finally started down the hallway.

In my eagerness to tell Alexa the incredible and glorious news, nearly as great as the Second Coming, I nearly sprinted, but didn’t, as Kodiak was still around, down the hallway to our math class to find her seat vacant and her binder lying on the table in front of her chair. Oh well; I would either have to charge into the battlefield of a hallway and find her while dodging bodies and books and papers and the occasional spit ball or just wait for her come back. Despite my anxiousness to break the news to Alexa, I wasn’t going to go back out in the hallway and get run over or hit with someone’s ball of saliva and paper. Hovering around the door like a shark that had smelled blood, I paced back and forth as I waited for Alexa.
When she finally strode through the door, saying goodbyes to her boyfriend John over her shoulder, I waited for her to stop talking then told her, “You won’t believe what just happened.”
“What just happened?” Alexa seemed truly interested, as generally I didn’t excited about an event.
“Kodiak asked me out.” I never thought those words would come out of my mouth despite all of the hoping that they would. However, their meaning still was alien and unfamiliar to me, as I had only been in one relationship before and never anything like what Kodiak and I had.
“Really?” Alexa looked shocked, as if I had just told her that a bomb had wiped out half of the Earth’s population. At least she seemed happy for me, and I couldn’t really blame her about that surprised thing; I myself still hadn’t recovered.
“Really.” As we settled into our seats right next to each other, I found a note on the table that served as our desk that had not been there a minute before when I checked for Alexa, or at least I hadn’t noticed it. “What’s this?” I wondered aloud, picking up the piece of paper and reading it.
“Roses are red, violets are blue, you are dead, and I hate you.”
“What?” Alexa snatched the piece of paper out of my hand and examined it, clearly looking for any clues as to who would have written such a nasty note. “Who and why would someone write this?”
Suddenly memories of comments and actions filled my head and a kind of sick realization set in as I glanced around the room. “Kaylyn Radtke because I’m dating Kodiak.” But how had she found out so quickly? My quick scan of the surroundings had shown that she was not in the room at the moment, so how had she learned about it right after it happened?
“But why?” Alexa seemed puzzled and angry, and she also searched the room for Kaylyn’s presence, probably so she could go beat Kaylyn up.
“Kaylyn’s jealous of any other girl that spends more time around Kodiak that she does, and she warned me to stay away from him on Kodiak’s first day here, and today she was there right before he asked me out, so she must have hung around to see what happened.” All of the warnings and interruptions in the world wouldn’t have stopped me from spending time with Kodiak though, and Kaylyn could continue to threaten me with all of the effect that her previous menaces had.
“But how’d she know exactly which desk was yours? I mean, she’s not even in this class.” Alexa was still looking around with a scowl on her face and her hands balled into fists.
“I don’t know; ask her that.” As I thought about it, I realized it was odd; after all, I didn’t even think that Kaylyn had Mr. Naber for math.
“Oh, I will. Right after I kick her butt.” At that moment Mr. Naber’s unmistakable 6’11” frame appeared in the door and silenced Alexa’s mutters about killing Kaylyn.
“I hope you all did your homework.” Mr. Mack’s medium-pitched voice filled the room, but in a much more friendly and less annoying way than Ms. Cronwell’s high-pitched cackle did. “Today we’ll be doing lesson seven-four in the book, so please get your books out and flip them to page 413.”

I darted down the hallway to wait for Ellise outside of her math class after the bell rang. When she finally appeared, her chiming laugh filling my ears because of something Alexa said, I swept her into my arms and murmured, “So how was math?”
“Hey Kodiak.” Her smile made her radiant face even more attractive. “Math was pretty good.” However, I could sense something wrong, and, even though I tried not to, I found myself reading her thoughts like an open book, something I had taught myself during my 10 years of captivity.
“Even though I found a hate note from Kaylyn because I’m dating Kodiak.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you got a hate note from Kaylyn?” And there the words just popped out, an instantaneous reaction to the knowledge I had just gained. Oh well; I could come up with a reasonable excuse, and, if not, I could brainwash Ellise and Alexa to make them forget that ever happened, although the idea of messing with my girlfriend’s mind was not very appealing.
“How’d you know that?” Ellise studied my face carefully, not suspicious but curious.
“Lucky guess. Well, why didn’t you tell me?” I really wasn’t in the position to be asking questions but I did anyways. Just like I wasn’t supposed to be alive but I was anyways.
“Because it didn’t seem important. It’s just a note.” Ellise didn’t bother to ask about my knowledge of her thoughts because she probably could tell I wasn’t give her a better answer.
“Alright.” Her response wasn’t exactly the most descriptive, but I really wasn’t one to think that, considering my ‘lucky guess’ reply when asked about how I knew about the note that I wasn’t supposed to know about. “Do you want me to drive you home today? I know you don’t have a car, and maybe we could do the whole ‘meet the parents’ thing too.”
“Um, sure. And yeah, my parents probably would want to meet you.” Ellise and I set off for our lockers together, one of my arms around her waist, like the picturesque happy high school couple. Only we weren’t, because I definitely wasn’t a normal high schooler, but I just hoped that we wouldn’t be broken up by the end of the day because of Ellise’s parents.

As Kodiak and I stepped out of his very classy cobalt blue Mustang, I had a sense of foreboding about what my parents would think of me bringing home a boyfriend. But I was 16, and wasn’t that the age that most people were allowed to date? I sure hoped my parents followed that rule.

Kodiak, like the gentleman he was, opened the door up for me, a smile dancing across his face as our gaze met for a moment. We just… clicked like I never had with anyone else before; it felt so natural to be with him and I felt so alive when I was around him. We just seemed perfect for each other; it would be a travesty if my parents didn’t approve and broke us up.
I called into the house, “I’m home!” and got a worried, “Thank God you’re home!” from my mom and a stern, “Where have you been?” from my dad.
“I just got a ride home,” I replied to my dad and told my mom, “You worry way too much.” The whole getting-a-ride-home-with-the-boyfriend-my-parents-don’t-even-know-about thing was looking like an even worse decision with every sentence said, as my parents were so concerned that I was just five minutes late. It made me ominously wary of what they would do when they found out my ride home was a boy.
“Who’d you get a ride home with? Alexa’s isn’t driving, is she?” My little sister Laurel’s voice floated out from her bedroom and was soon followed by her face peering around the corner.
“Well, Alexa’s not driving legally, and I got a ride home with,” I looked back to where he was standing behind me, “Kodiak.”
As he stepped through – and almost had to duck under – the doorframe, Laurel’s jaw fell so far that I thought it was going to disconnect from her face and hit the floor.
“Oh my God,” were the only words Laurel could muster. A slight smirk crossed my face at her reaction. Apparently she hadn’t thought I was good enough to get Kodiak; well, I guess she was wrong. I met Kodiak’s gaze for a second and a small communication went on using eyes.
Laurel didn’t think I was good enough to get you…
Yeah.
And she has the biggest crush in the world on you.
Well that would be obvious to a blind person.

“You two… seriously… together?” Laurel seemed to be getting a little unsteady on her feet. I secretly hoped she would fall so I would have something to tease ‘little miss perfect’ about later.
“What’s this about Ellise ‘being together’ with someone?” my dad boomed disapprovingly, coming over to investigate the horrible situation of his daughter growing up. As soon as he laid eyes on Kodiak, his face became as emotionless as a stone wall but his eyes flashed with feelings like a disco ball with colors. After a few long seconds of examining Kodiak, my dad opened his mouth again, then paused, clearly lost for words. Finally, in a quiet, almost trembling voice, he told me, “We need to talk to your mother about this.”

A worried expression lay across Laurel’s face as she sat across from me at the table where a ‘very serious family discussion’ also known as a ‘should we kill Kodiak for showing interest in me debate’ was going on. The possibly-soon-to-be-murder victim was standing just inside our door; I could tell that he knew it was dangerous to come in any farther.
“Ellise how could you do this? We never gave you permission to date!” The exasperation and outrage in my dad’s voice brought his whisper up to a normal conversation voice.
“Dad I’m sixteen! I’m not a little girl anymore!” I protested to no avail.
“Not to mention the fact that he’s older! How old is he, 19, 20, did he get held back a couple years?” My dad just blew past my outcry like I hadn’t said anything, although his last worried remark got a quiet but audible snicker from near the front door.
“Dad, Kodiak’s 18 and he’s in the grade he’s supposed to be in and he probably could skip a couple grades if he wanted to!” Laurel’s tight-mouthed, concerned grimace made me love my sister even more, and I silently hoped that if Laurel and I double-teamed my dad, he would give in.
“She’s right Dad. Kodiak’s really smart and he’s actually a really nice guy,” Laurel piped up, looking directly at me. “Maybe you should actually let Ellise date him, because he’s definitely better than most of the guys at EHS.” I was extremely grateful for Laurel sticking up for me and mouthed, “Thanks,” in her direction.
“He’s older than her though, and older men always bring trouble!” my dad replied
“Kodiak isn’t a normal older guy Dad; he’s… different,” I finished lamely, not knowing what else to say. There wasn’t much else I could say; Kodiak was most definitely different from other high school boys.
“Um, I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation…” I turned around to see Kodiak standing behind me; I hadn’t heard him coming. “…And I understand if you don’t want me to date your daughter. However, I would like you to know that I am hopelessly in love with her and that she has become my whole world.” He moved to stand beside me and looked down at me with a small smile across his face, his eyes overflowing with sincerity and his hand on my shoulder. I began to grin, my heart extremely warmed by his words and his expression, as well until I saw my dad’s face.
It looked as if he were painfully experiencing all the emotions in the world in five seconds, and Laurel looked almost frightened.
Looking back and forth between Kodiak and me, my dad finally muttered, “Have a seat Kodiak.”

“So why would you like to date my daughter?” my dad asked Kodiak while cracking his knuckles, obviously trying to scare Kodiak. It wasn’t working though, mostly because Kodiak was taller and tougher and could very easily beat my dad up and also because fear wasn’t an emotion I had ever seen Kodiak have.
“I would like to date Ellise because she is beautiful and brilliant,” Kodiak was looking up at me now, his amber eyes dancing with affection and a smile across his face, “and athletic and a great person and also because, as I said earlier, I am madly in love with her.” I almost started to cry right then and there because those were the nicest things anyone had ever said about me.
My dad seemed taken aback; for a few long moments he just studied Kodiak contemplatively with Kodiak’s calm, level amber gaze meeting his observant brown one.
“I believe you,” was all my dad uttered, but the release of tension that I hadn’t felt building was evident immediately. With a quick smile at me, he told Kodiak, “I know I can trust you with my little girl.”
“Thank you, Mr. Lech.” Kodiak nodded his head respectfully then rose from his chair, his lips quirking up into a grin as he looked at me. His handsomeness struck me hard then; I guess I had grown so used to being around him that I had become desensitized to how perfect he really was. Looking up at him, I inscribed to memory every detail of the stunning face until his shimmering golden-amber irises and immaculate light brown hair were etched in the back of my eyelids.
“For what?” My dad looked at Kodiak, a look of puzzlement across his aging face; clearly he didn’t feel Kodiak owed him anything, and I was of the same opinion.
“For giving me a chance to date your beautiful daughter.”

Pleased to meet you Ellise. As you can gather, my name is Nymeria, but you may call me Ny or whatever you would like.” Nymeria gave Ellise a smile, then shot me a toxic glance, and the words, “What in the hell were you thinking, bringing home a human girl?! What if she finds out?” flashed through my mind, accompanied by a fiery red cloud; she was really pissed off at me.
“So you are...?” Ellise let the question hang in the air as she looked up one inch at Nymeria’s graceful five-eleven frame.
“Oh, Kodiak didn’t tell you?” Another insidious glare was sent my direction before Nymeria continued. “I’m his older sister, four-and-a-half-years older to be exact.”
I looked over at Nymeria, wondering why she was telling Ellise such personal facts when she had gotten on my back for just hanging around Ellise, and once again I wondered why my sister didn’t have a boyfriend. I was happy to admit I looked rather like her, as she was stunningly beautiful, with piercing golden eyes the same shade as mine and a perfect face framed by long blonde hair. Her wit, profound sense of humor, intelligence and athleticism were bonuses added onto the almost-perfect package that was my sister; many men recognized this too, as she attracted a lot of attention wherever she went. I personally was surprised she hadn’t found even a casual date yet, as I thought she would have found someone she could at least stand to be around long to drive her other admirers away.
“Well I’m pleased to meet you Nymeria.” Ellise stumbled over her name and a knowing smirk spread across my sister’s face.
“Just call me Ny; I don’t know what drug my parents were on when they named me.” She shot me a glance and the words, “Well, we know that our dad was high on the idea of being Dark Emperor of the Universe,” popped into my head and I shook my head slightly, trying to drive the mere thought of my father ruling the universe from my mind.
“What’s the matter Kodi?” Ellise laid a hand on my arm, and gazed up at me, concern etched on her face.
“Kodi? What kind of name is that?” My sister’s sharp, derisive words stabbed my mind like a knife, and I narrowed my eyes at her in anger. The least she could do is be civil; at least I was trying to fit in.
“It’s a name that shows somebody cares about me,” I sent back quickly and snappily, rather pissed at her for being so rude. She usually was really nice to me, so hoped nothing serious was causing her foul mood.
“I’m fine,” I murmured, my gaze never leaving Nymeria’s face. Something was definitely up.
“You sure?” Ellise sounded very apprehensive, so I took her hand in both of mine and raised it to my lips.
“I’m sure.” I let go of her hand and embraced her in a hug, kissing her on the forehead gently. “I’m sure.”
“Um, I need to talk to Kodiak in private for a second, if you don’t mind Ellise.” Nymeria gave her a small, seemingly apologetic smile; I knew I was in for it now.
“Yeah, it’s fine.” Ellise shot me a questioning look, to which I just shrugged my shoulders.
Nymeria gestured for me to walk and then followed me down into my room, shutting the door slightly harder than usually behind her.

“What in the bloody effing hell do you think you’re doing getting involved with a human?!” Nymeria snarled, giving me a glare that burned my flesh right off my bones.
“I… I love her, Ny. I really do.” I looked at her calmly, almost defiantly, bracing myself for more shouting.
“That’s great Kodiak, it really is, but did you ever bother to think about the fact that you’re risking not only your anonymity and life as a human but mine as well? You’re an adult now and you can mess your own life up as much as you please but the fact that you’re dragging me into it isn’t ok!” Her eyes were daggers; I wondered idly if my eyes became that lethal-looking when I was angry.
“I can’t help it Ny, I just can’t! And I wouldn’t help it even if I could.” I drew myself up to my full six foot five, giving me a half a foot on Nymeria.
“Do you think I could help what happened to me when we were in lockdown? Of course I couldn’t, but I stuck it through because you needed me.” Her eyes were pleading now; tears welled up and began to snake their way down her cheeks. She drew in a deep breath and wiped her eyes, and I thought in the back of my mind that it was good she didn’t wear makeup to smear. “I need you to dump Ellise, for both of our sakes.” Nymeria fixed me with a clear golden gaze, and I knew that she was dead serious. Too bad for her that I had also inherited the family obstinacy.
“I can’t, and I won’t.” I returned her gaze and swallowed audibly, knowing that I was in for it now.
“Kodiak, please. If not for you then for me.” She was crying more now; I felt like such a jerk.
“I just can’t, Ny. I just can’t.” I stepped forward and hugged her to my chest. I knew that we had to stick together no matte what because Nymeria and I were all each other had. I also knew that I couldn’t find in my heart to dump Ellise, despite the chaos that would ensue if Ellise were to find out what we were.
It was a while before I let go of my sister and even longer before she spoke. “Well, if you think this Ellise is worth our human identities, then she must be one amazing girl. When are you going to tell her?” I physically jumped at the last comment, completely caught off guard.
“Are you giving me your approval?” I was shocked. One minute Nymeria was crying, something she almost never did, and the next minute she was suggesting that I tell Ellise our secret.
“Yes, I am, and I’m wondering when you’re going to tell her about us.” I was so caught up in my own amazement that I almost missed what she said.
“Why do I have to tell her?” I didn’t see any reason why I would have to tell her. After all, Nymeria and I had been successfully lying to every human we met for all of our human lives.
“Kodiak, if Ellise is as important to you as she seems to be, then she deserves to know the truth. And if you would trust her with our identities, then I would too.”
I had no idea how to respond to that, so for a few seconds I just stood there, my mouth opening and closing as I decided to say something and then decided against saying it; I must have looked like a fish out of water.
“Ok” was all I said. This was the most trust and responsibility Nymeria had ever given me, and I really didn’t know what to do with it.
“So are you going to tell her?”
“I… I don’t know. It goes against everything we’ve done to keep our human identities intact, but Ellise is… incredible. She’s so different from what the standard for high school girls is, and I’ve fallen head over heels for her because of her standing out and not being afraid to do and say what she wants. You know, nothing surprises me after… well, you know. But Ellise, she’s shocking, and her originality has star struck me.” I removed my hat and ran a hand through my hair, like I always did when I was stressed or under pressure; I swore that complications involving Ellise were taking years off of my lifetime of forever.
“I’m happy for you Kodi. Even though I can’t find it in me to trust humans ever again, I’m glad you have and that you’re experiencing a happy, normal human life.” Her eyes stared into the wall beyond me, but I knew from the distant expression she wore that she was off in another world, reliving times past or imagining what the future could have held.
“You live like you’re not alive Ny; you need to find something that can make you happy and make all of this trouble worth it. After all, life should be worth living for, right?” I placed a hand on her back and drew her against me. “You are special, no matter what has happened to you or who your parents are,” I murmured in her ear; even though she needed to hear it there was no guarantee that she would listen.
“People hate us because of our father, and I can see why even if I know it’s completely unfair. After all, if he’s the most evil being to have ever lived, then how are we even decent?” She sighed and pulled away, then turned back and stared me straight in the eye. “People and society love to judge other things by their appearances because it reduces the effort and involvement required by the judging party. But the funny thing is that no human, except for a judge, is in the place to judge another thing, even if they take their time and actually understand the thing in question. Kodi, you know, so many people think society is a good thing, that it keeps us together, and those people are so naïve in thinking that society is civilized. Society is an animal pack, at its best caring for its members, at its worst harming or killing off those who are different. I mean, just look at the percentage of gay teen suicides compared to straight teen suicides. The gay suicide percentage will be much higher because they are not accepted by society and therefore are treated with hostility and downright animosity. After all, we all have to conform, right? And if we don’t, we’re to be hated. It’s so ironic that humans hate differences even though they’re all different. In fact, it’s the greatest irony of human existence.” She was looking away now, gazing at but not really seeing my Rise Against poster on the opposite wall, her beautiful golden eyes clouded with thought. “You know, I sometimes wonder if humans were created by God as kind of a practical joke. But then I think about how many other animals they’ve killed, hell, how many other humans they’ve killed and I realize the joke isn’t very funny at all.” Her gaze returned to me now, and she gave me a small, sad smile. “Do what you think is best. Even if you mess up and make a bad decision, just remember that there are places that the humans will never be able to find us.”
She opened the door and walked out of the room, leaving my nose full of her scent and my head swimming with her words.

“So do you think Nymeria liked me ok?” I internally praised myself for finally saying her name right.
“Yeah, she liked you fine, don’t worry. It was something else she was pissed about, but what that was I have no clue.” Kodiak smiled at me, his eyes twinkling. “Usually she’s really nice, but we all have bad days.” He returned his gaze to the road and I was struck by the pure physical attractiveness of his profile.
“You’re so beautiful,” I breathed, so quietly I didn’t hear the words but felt them. “How in the heck did I get you?”
“I thought I was supposed to be the one saying that to you.” Kodiak’s hand found mind and squeezed gently; all of the emotion contained in one of his grins was transferred to me by that embrace, and I instantly felt even more content, if that was possible.
“How did you hear that?” I hadn’t even been able to truly hear my words, and I had been the one saying them.
“I suppose you could say I have better-than-average hearing, but it’s nothing special.” It suddenly dawned on me that I really didn’t know that much about Kodiak, besides the fact that his name was Kodiak James Johnson and he was perfect in every aspect of the word.
“Where did you move from?” My question instantly made everything awkward, and I wished I hadn’t spoken. Because of this, I decided not ask about why Nymeria had wanted to talk to him in private.
“I moved from Arizona, Glendale to be exact. Why?” He looked over at me for a split-second, his expression puzzled, then returned his gaze back to the pockmarked asphalt we were driving on.
“I just realized that I don’t know that much about you, so I want to get to know you better. So what high school did you transfer from?” I kept my eyes glued on his face, searching for a reaction; I probably wouldn’t have been able to look away if I had wanted to since his face was incredibly mesmerizing.
“Independence High School, and they sucked at sports, I can tell you that.” Kodiak shook his head, an amused smirk quirking his lips. “The only state title they had was a girls’ tennis championship four years after the high school opened.”
“Even Elizabeth has more titles than that, and we’re just a little country school out in the middle of nowhere! True, we’re been around for almost a hundred years, but we do have more than one state title.” I was surprised that Kodiak himself didn’t win a state title, considering the fact that he was in incredibly good shape.
“What can say? Independence just sucked.” He yawned, his crystal-clear golden eyes becoming unfocused for a millisecond, and in that millisecond his eyes glowed red, like how dogs’ eyes do when a light is shined on them
I gasped audibly, very freaked out. “Your eyes!”
“What about them?” He looked over at me, concern etched across his face. There was something else, another emotion, hiding in his eyes – fright. Why would he be afraid?
“They were red for a second.” I spoke the words slowly, puzzled and almost frightened. “It was pretty freaky.” I stared at his pupils again, but they showed no hint of the red tint that had colored them for a moment.
“Hmm. Well that’s odd.” His face was a perfect mask of calm, but I knew that it was just that – a mask, and I cursed my stupidity for not seeing it earlier. For the first time, I knew Kodiak was lying to me.

Chapter 4: Suspicions and Secrets

I needed to be alone, I needed to think.
As I walked through the door of my house, Laurel called out to me. I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn’t comprehend what she said at first.
“What happened?” She fixed me with a stare, concern clouding her eyes for the second time in the evening.
“Nothing. I just need to think.” I brushed passed her quickly before she could ask another question and rushed downstairs towards the sanctuary of my room.

I had no idea what Kodiak was lying to me about, since I had already ruled out his eyes because I had convinced myself that it had never even happened; all I knew, even though a part of me didn’t want to admit, was that he was lying to me about something. Was it about his and Nymeria’s private conversation? Whatever it was, I almost hoped that it was something important so that he had more reason to keep it from me, because I didn’t want to think that Kodiak would lie to me about stupid things and at every opportunity. It disturbed me that he would lie to me at all though. The Kodiak I knew was the sweetest guy I had ever met who didn’t judge people by their appearances, was a complete gentleman and, most importantly, always told the truth, even if the truth got him in trouble. The Kodiak I knew wouldn’t lie to the girl he said he loved. Maybe I didn’t know Kodiak as well as I thought I did. Heck, maybe I didn’t know myself as well as I thought I did; the Ellise I thought I was wouldn’t have ever fallen in love with a guy she barely knew. Kodiak was turning my world upside down, but I didn’t know if it was good or not. I really hoped it was, but hope, just like love, was an irrational emotion, and if blind love and blind hope ruled my life, then I was walking in the dark of confusion and turmoil with no light, which wasn’t something I wanted to do. I just couldn’t help it though; I couldn’t help that I fell in love with Kodiak; I couldn’t help that he was lying to me; I couldn’t help that I was hoping he was lying for the best reasons. I also couldn’t help that all of my love and hope was blind, like a stab in the dark. I could be rightfully loving and hoping, or all of my love and hope could come to nothing. It was all-or-nothing thinking, something I tried to avoid, but there didn’t seem to be any middle ground in my relationship with Kodiak. I buried my head in my hands, sighing deeply at the complexity of my situation.
“What have I done?” I asked myself aloud. “I guess what I’ve done is fallen in love with a guy that I can’t trust and seems more than a little suspicious. Oh God Ellise, what drug are you on?!”
I flopped onto my stomach and buried my head in my pillow. I knew that no matter what I did, I wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight.

“She’s onto me Ny,” I told her, pulling up a chair in the dining room, collapsing into it and banging my head against the table.
“Wait, what?!” Nymeria regarded me with a mixture of suspicion and concern.
“My eyes reflected when I was driving Ellise home and I lied to her about it and when I read her mind she was convinced that I was lying about something.” I braced myself for another “Don’t get involved with humans” talk and I would have bet money that there was going to be some yelling.
Nymeria sighed, shaking her head, and sat down into the chair next to me. “Did she connect it to your eyes?”
“No. I have a feeling she thinks it’s about our conversation,” I told her, meeting her gaze.
“Well Ellise is right on the money about one lie,” Nymeria muttered, looking down at the table momentarily. “I knew something like this was going to happen Kodiak, I just knew it!”
“I’m sorry Ny, but I love Ellise and have no intention of breaking up with her!” I replied, mentally noting the start of what very well could be a half an hour of yelling.
To my great surprise, the anger left Nymeria’s face and was replaced by a dejected, resigned look. “You have to tell her sometime then because you can’t build a good relationship with her, which is what I presume you want, on lies.”
“Ny I can’t tell her what we are! If I do she’ll just judge us and hate us like every other human!” I may have loved Ellise but after going through the things I had been through, I was too cautious to trust her with my identity.
My sister laughed, but it held no humor. “So you claim to love her and trust her and you say that she’s different but you think that she’ll hate you if she finds out what you are? Kodiak, if you’ve fallen in love with her, then I’m sure she’s amazing, so you have to be willing to trust that you made the right choice in deciding to date her and tell her. After all, if you don’t have trust in a relationship then you have one jacked up relationship, because trust is the foundation for all relationships.”
“And what about you Ny? Where’s the trust in your relationships? There isn’t any!” Nymeria was in no position to tell me to start trusting when she didn’t trust anyone either; after all, people inside glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
“Don’t even go there Kodiak; don’t even effing go there!” she snarled, her eyes blazing with anger as she jumped up out of her chair. “Do you think I wanted that? Do you think I asked for that? Do you think I don’t wish that I could find it in myself to trust more? Because I do Kodiak, I really do! Every day I wish that that had never happened and that I could trust men, but it happened and I can’t! So I’m sorry for being the victim of rape but that’s something I can’t help, and if I could, I assure you that I would!” Tears were streaming down her face and she wiped them away with a careless hand, trying to regain her composure.
“I’m sorry Ny. I didn’t mean it like that. To be honest, I have no idea why in the hell I said that; that was a really low blow by me. I’m sorry,” I told her gently, rising out of my seat to go embrace her and then cup her cheek with one hand.
“You are always free to change your mind and choose a different future or a different past; always remember that,” I murmured, gazing into her eyes. “By the way, I think I need to start a douchebag jar and put like five hundred dollars in it for all the crap I’ve said to you.” I smiled slightly and she gave me a weak grin.
“More like a thousand,” she replied, half-teasing and half-serious. “But I suppose I’d owe you about a thousand too so you wouldn’t have to pay me anything. I love you Kodiak.” Nymeria wrapped me in an incredibly tight hug, so tight that I thought she cracked a few ribs, and then walked into the kitchen, which was adjacent to the dining room.
“So what do you want for dinner?” she asked me.

I had run the possibilities over in my head a million times: either Kodiak was really was lying to me or my suspicions were completely out in left field, which I was positive wasn’t the case as I ran what happened in the car over and over again in my head. I, however, hadn’t been able to even guess what he might be lying to me about. I had already ruled out his eyes since it probably didn’t even happen… wait, what if his eyes actually had turned red? I had never seen another human’s eyes do that, and I had never met another person who could guess exactly what I was thinking when I thought it. I had also never seen another human withstand cold like he did, and I didn’t even think it was possible for a human to run the thirty miles per hour that I saw Kodiak run. His hearing was leaps and bounds better than anyone else’s I knew; I was sure that the normal human wouldn’t have been able to hear what I whispered in the car, since I didn’t even hear what I said and I was the one who said it.. He was defying the laws of human nature left and right. It was almost like he wasn’t human. But that wasn’t possible, right? It couldn’t be true that everything I had been told about fact and fiction was a lie! It just couldn’t be! Could it? Could it be that the world I had surrounded myself with was an illusion and that everything I thought I knew about what were fairy tales and what was reality was false? Was everything I had based my life on and taken for granted as fact not true? Or was I just nuts and going off on a tangent of ‘what if’? Everyway I looked at it, the facts were unavoidable. Kodiak was faster, too adept at guessing thoughts for it to be just coincidence and physically different from everyone else I knew. No one else I knew radiated heat like he did when in twenty-degree weather or had eyes that reflected red, and no one else I knew could hear things that even the person who said them didn’t. Even though I could lie to myself, the facts couldn’t lie, and they clearly pointed to the impossible: that Kodiak wasn’t human. There was always the possibility that I was crazy and had imagined everything, but I didn’t think so. Kodiak could lie to me all he wanted, but he couldn’t change what he had done, and what he had done defied countless laws of human nature. I was forced to face the conclusion that he really wasn’t human.

“Do you want to talk?” Laurel asked me in a whisper after I crept silently up the stairs six hours later. Apparently the rest of the house was asleep, which I made sense since it was eleven.
“I would if I could but it’s not mine to talk about,” I replied slowly, not really knowing what to say. I really wanted to get my revelation off my chest but it wasn’t mine to tell; it was Kodiak’s – and now my – secret so I felt it my obligation to keep quiet for him.
“Ah,” was all she said in response. There were a few utterly silent seconds, which were broken when Laurel asked me, “So do you want the leftovers from tonight?”
“Um, sure. Thanks for keeping Mom and Dad from interrupting me.” I gave her a smile and then began to dig through the chaotic fridge on my quest for the leftovers.
“No problem. I knew that you just needed some time alone and they seemed to get that.” She returned my smile and sat down at the table, pulling out her phone and texting somebody back. When she was done, she looked back up at me and said, “After all, that’s what sisters are for, right?”
“Yeah.” My heart instantly sank to my stomach because of the guilt I felt about not telling her my Kodiak discovery. I couldn’t help the fact that it wasn’t my secret to tell though; after all, I wasn’t the one who wasn’t human and I could understand why Kodiak wouldn’t want anyone knowing.
I finally found the leftovers, pork roast and mashed potatoes, so I put them in the microwave for a minute on high and then collapsed into a chair at the table next to Laurel. After sitting in silence again for a few long seconds, I couldn’t bear it anymore.
“Laurel, Kodiak’s not human,” I blurted out before I even knew what I was doing.
“What?” Laurel gave me a sharp, interrogative gaze and I knew that there was no way I could go back. Well, his secret was out now.
“Kodiak isn’t human,” I repeated slowly, my eyes fixed on her face the whole time. I almost dreaded her reaction but it was like watching a train wreck – you have to know.
“Are you serious?” she asked me. I was relieved by the fact that she didn’t think I was crazy and that she herself was completely serious.
“Yeah.” I was pretty sure she would think I was crazy and-
“How did you figure it out?” she asked me, overtly curious.
“You honestly believe me?” I was stunned. She didn’t even question it, she just believed me on principle. I had never really realized how good of a sister Laurel was up until then, but she definitely was the best sister I could ask for; she tolerated me dating a boy she also liked, she understood when I needed space and she didn’t think I was crazy for saying something that might get me a one-way ticket into a mental institution if I said it around certain people.
“Yeah. I mean, there’s no way a human’s that hot.” We both burst out laughing at that, and when our giggles finally stopped we sat in a few seconds of contented quiet, which were rudely ended by the microwave going off. I just ignored it though because talking to Laurel was more important than eating and that moment.
“It’s so true though,” I said and she nodded her head in agreement.
“So how actually did you figure it out?” Laurel fixed her gaze on me again, and I could tell that she really wanted to know.
“Well, I just put the pieces together. Kodiak’s faster, temperately hotter and has a lot better hearing than a normal human. Also I don’t know of any humans whose eyes glow red or who can read minds, so I just added those all up and the conclusion was that, since nothing he does is at a human level, he isn’t human.” I shrugged and looked Laurel in the eye. “It was actually really easy to figure out.”
“So do you know what kind he is?” She affixed me with an interested gaze, but I had no idea what she was talking about.
“What?” I stared at her uncertainly, not having the slightest clue as to what she was saying.
“Do you know what kind of non-human he is? Like, a werewolf or a vampire or something like that?” She restated herself slowly and clearly and then looked at me with the same fascinated stare.
“I have no idea. Well, I’m pretty sure he’s not a vampire because he gives off an incredible amount of heat and he hasn’t tried to eat me yet. He might be a werewolf though, like one of the ones from Twilight.” I shrugged again and gave her the ‘I-don’t-know’ look. “I really don’t know and I really don’t care to be honest. I mean, I care a lot more about the fact that he actually is non-human than what kind non-human he is.”
“Yeah. I just think it’d be cool to be dating a werewolf or a vampire or something.” I could hear the longing in her voice and yet again I felt like a jerk.
“Laurel, I’m sorry for dating Kodiak when I know you wanted to date him too,” I told her sincerely, giving her a heartfelt, apologetic smile.
“Oh, it’s no big deal. After all, you were the one Kodiak asked out. No offense, but I didn’t think either one of us were good enough to get Kodiak. I actually didn’t think he knew either one of us existed.” She returned my smile and I could tell that she was as genuine as I was.
“I know, right? I was so shocked when he asked me out that I almost passed out. It was so bad.” I laughed at my own awkwardness and Laurel joined in. It was nice to be able to talk to her and not worry about how awkward or clumsy or weird I acted because she wouldn’t judge me or think of me any differently because of it.
“Are you gonna talk to Kodiak about him being non-human?” Laurel asked me after our giggles stopped.
“No. Heck no,” I replied firmly. “Knowing him he’ll probably just read my mind and figure it out anyways.” I shook at the fact that my boyfriend would and had read my mind but stopped myself when I realized that I would do the same thing if I were in his shoes. “I’m actually really pissed that he’s been lying to me ever since we met and that he’s been reading my mind a lot. I mean, if you don’t have honesty in a relationship, what do you have?”
“Yeah.” Laurel shook her head too, but hers was probably more out of amazement than disappointment. “Well it’s 11:30 and I have a math test first block tomorrow so I need to go get some sleep. Talk to you tomorrow Lise.” She rose from her seat at the table and trudged her way down the stairs towards her room.
“See ya Laurel,” I murmured as the top of her head disappeared from my view. “I never knew that you were as awesome as you are.”

“I’m going to have a whole hell of a lot of explaining to do,” I told Nymeria as I rummaged in the fridge for the orange juice. I was pretty sure Ellise had already figured out my secret and I wasn’t looking forward to talking to her about it.
“Yeah, you are,” she agreed promptly. Her tone told me she definitely wasn’t happy but I guess she knew that the cat was out of the bag and there was nothing she could do about it. “You just better be better at explaining than you are at finding things.” She reached straight into the fridge and pulled out the elusive orange juice without even having to search for it.
“I have no idea what I’m going to say to her though Ny. I don’t know if anything I can say will have any effect or make Ellise trust me again. Hell, I don’t even know if she’ll be able to tolerate me and not hate my guts for being what we are.” I poured myself a glass of juice and grabbed a piece of toast; I generally didn’t eat breakfast but I knew I would need it today.
“I don’t think she’ll hate your guts for us being non-human; Ellise seems less judgmental than that. She might hate your guts because you’ve been lying to her ever since you met her though.” Nymeria sipped on the glass of milk in her hand and made her way carefully over to the table. When she saw the look I was giving her, she just shrugged and said, “Hey, just being realistic here.”
“I don’t think I want realistic right now,” I grumbled. I was already in a bad mood and I hadn’t even been dumped by Ellise yet.
“No. You want a miracle,” Nymeria shot back instantly, giving me a look of her own. “What you have to realize is that miracles are called such because they are very rare, so I don’t think you’re going to get the miracle you want.”
“I can hope though, right?” I put my empty glass in the sink, picked up my Nike-branded bag and walked out the door, almost slamming it in my wake.
“Kodiak James Johnson!” I heard my sister’s angry voice yelling. I shook my head and braced myself for a nagging.
I turned around to see her standing in the doorframe and yelled back, “What?”
“When you get home you’re fixing the door,” she told me shortly, then walked back inside the house, leaving the fallen front door right where it lay.

“What am I going to say? It’s not like I can just cover it all up and lie some more. Well, I guess I could erase Ellise’s memory but that wouldn’t be right,” I murmured to myself, looking anxiously for Ellise among the throngs of students making their way towards the front double doors of the high school. Over the noise being made by other students, I wouldn’t be able to hear Ellise coming-
“Oh, so you have standards for jacking with someone’s mind?” an angry voice asked behind me, rudely interrupting my thoughts. I whirled around to find a very pissed and very gorgeous Ellise standing with her hands on her hips and murder written on her face. “Well that’s just great, isn’t it? My only question is where in the heck is the standard that says you don’t jack with someone’s mind to begin with?!” Her eyes were daggers and if looks could kill I knew I would have been dead.
“Ellise, just let me explain,” I pleaded, grabbing both of her hands in mine. “I never meant-”
“-for me to find out, right? For it to go this far? Kodiak, I don’t want to hear it.” She pulled her hands out of my grasp and stormed her way to the front doors.
“I am so screwed,” I muttered dejectedly, then followed her into the high school.

“It’s crazy Alexa. It’s just crazy.” I shook my head and collapsed into the seat next to her, sighing deeply.
“What happened? What did Kodiak do?” she asked me, looking concerned and almost ready to go beat him up.
“He lied to me,” I replied shortly. It was technically true, since I had no intention of telling her about him yet.
“About what?” she asked urgently. “Did he cheat on you? If he did, I swear to God-”
“No, he didn’t cheat on me.” A smile crossed my face at the fact that Alexa would honestly try to beat Kodiak up. “And, well, if I could tell you what he lied to me about, I would, but I literally can’t.”
“What do you mean?” She looked at me worriedly, clearly questioning my sanity.
“It’s not my secret to tell,” was all I said before Kodiak walked into the room. Instantly my posture changed from dejected to hostile and I used all of my energy to keep my gaze off of him and pretend like he didn’t even exist.
“Ellise, can we please just talk about this?” he asked me, laying a hand on my arm.
“You get the hell away from her,” Alexa growled, jumping to her feet and giving him a dangerous glare. “She doesn’t want to talk to you, and to be honest, I don’t either.”
Kodiak put his hands up and backed away. “Ok, ok Alexa, I didn’t do anything to you,” he told her, obviously trying to calm her down. Too bad for him that it wasn’t working.
“Um, actually you did. You hurt my best friend so you definitely did something to me,” she shot back venomously. “Now leave before I kick your ass.”
“Ok, ok, whatever.” Kodiak gave me one last longing look before he grabbed his bag and moved to the other side of the room.
“Alexa, have I ever told you how much I love you?” I asked her when she sat back down.

How could I tell Alexa? Or how could I not tell her? Alexa had been my best friend in the whole wide world since sixth grade and we told each other everything, so how could I not tell her? Kodiak’s secret wasn’t mine to tell though; heck, it wasn’t even mine to know, so how could I make that choice for him and tell Alexa? But Alexa and I were almost closer than sisters, and I had told Laurel Kodiak’s secret, so I could I not tell Alexa? However, Kodiak was my boyfriend, and even though he had lied to me, his secret was huge and it wasn’t my place to tell it. So now I had a choice: Alexa or Kodiak? Who did I think was more important, who did I care more about? If I put in those terms, then the choice was obvious: Alexa would be my best friend till I died and didn’t even know if I was going to be dating Kodiak tomorrow, so I just had to tell Alexa. Besides, I needed someone else to talk to about this dilemma that wouldn’t think I was crazy or nuts because she already knew that I was crazy and nuts and was fine with it. I just wondered if she was still going to try to beat Kodiak up after she learned his secret.

“Alexa, what would you say if I told you Kodiak isn’t human?” I murmured to her during math as we were supposed to be taking notes on coordinate planes.
“I’d say you’re on something,” Alexa muttered back, not really listening to what I was saying. Then it dawned on her. “Wait, are you serious?” she asked, her eyes getting as round as dinner plates.
“I’m flat-out serious,” I replied solemnly, staring her straight in the eye. I idly wondered if her eyes could get any bigger than they already were or if they would just pop out of her head instead.
Alexa opened and closed her mouth like a fish out of water for a few seconds, searching for something to say. Finally she managed to utter, “How? Or why? Or what? I have no idea what to say to that.” She smiled and shook her head, still in shock.
“Yeah. I guess there’s not that much that you can say to something like that,” I agreed, smirking at how huge her eyes were still.
“What’s so funny?” she asked me, seeing my grin.
“You should see your face,” I told her, my smile getting wider. “Your eyes are so big that I’m surprised they haven’t popped out of your head yet.”
“Thanks Ellise, thanks a lot.” She gave me a look and shook her head, a smirk beginning to cross her face despite herself.
“You’re quite welcome Alexa. After all, if we didn’t make fun of each other all the time, then how could we be best friends?” I returned her grin with one of my own and she nodded her head in agreement.
“So how did you figure it out?” she asked me after both of our goofy smiles had faded. “I mean, that Kodiak isn’t human?”
“I just looked at the facts and added them up. I mean, doing one odd thing or having one odd quality isn’t suspicious by itself, but when you add five of those together, then it starts to get a little weird, you know? You can blow off one thirty-mile-an-hour sprint or one mind-reading but you can’t ignore supersensitive hearing, mind-reading, an extremely high body temperature and incredibly fast speeds put together.” I shrugged and looked her in the eye, which had returned to its normal size by now. “It was actually easy to figure out once I looked at all the facts and put them together. It’s amazing how much Kodiak forgot to cover up about his big secret.”
“Hmm,” was all Alexa said, a sign that she was thinking. “Maybe Kodiak wanted someone to find out. Maybe he wanted you to find out.” She shrugged her shoulders and looked at me. “Just guessing here.”
“Maybe Alexa, maybe. Or maybe the Mayans are right and the world’s going to end next year. You could honestly what if yourself to death Alexa, but that’s something I really don’t want to do and something you probably don’t want to do too. Besides, why would he want anyone to know that his whole human identity is a lie?” Alexa’s theory was nice and quaint, a perfect romantic movie happening. Too bad this wasn’t the movies.
“Ok, I guess you’re right. I guess I was just giving Kodiak more credit than he deserves,” she replied, bending her head over her paper to make it look like she was taking notes.
“I know how you feel Alexa. I spent a good three hours last night doing the exact same thing,” I told her, also bowing my head over my notes to give the appearance of actually writing something. “When I first figured out that he was lying to me about something, but I didn’t know what that something was, I kept on telling myself that I had to be something big, something important, because I didn’t want to think that Kodiak would lie to me about little things. I kept on projecting my image of the superhero I thought Kodiak was onto the situation and as a result it took me a lot longer to get past the fact that he lied to me and actually figure out what he lied to me about.”
“Yeah. So what are going to do about you and Kodiak? Are you going to dump him or are you going to continue dating him?” She looked up at me, dropping in an instant the note-taking guise.
“I don’t know Alexa. I really don’t know. I mean, I really like him and we just click, you know? And I can’t say I blame him for hiding a secret that big from me, but I would’ve hoped that he thought he could trust me. So I really don’t know,” I finished lamely, also stopping pretending to take notes to meet her questioning gaze. “What do you think I should do?”
“Well, Kodiak is flat-out amazing. I mean, he’s gorgeous and sweet and a gentleman but if he’s not honest then all of that other stuff doesn’t really mean much. But like you said, that’s kind of a huge secret so you can’t really blame him for not telling you. So if I were you, I would keep him,” she told me finally. “I mean, he’s like perfect. You honestly can’t do much better than him guy-wise.”
“You’re right Alexa. There’s no possible way I can get someone better than him because no such guy exists, and I think any person, when put in his position, would lie about that. I know I would because I wouldn’t want anyone knowing I wasn’t like them, since people don’t like differences and they especially don’t like other people telling them that everything they’ve believed to be fact and fiction their whole lives isn’t true. And that’s basically what Kodiak’s done: he’s turned my sense of fact and fiction upside down. I mean, I used to believe that non-humans only existed in fairy tales, but Kodiak’s definitely real and this definitely isn’t a fairy tale, so that’s kind of gotten completely reversed.” I smiled despite myself and twirled my pencil, thinking about fact and fiction and fairy tales and reality. “But I guess that makes Kodiak a life-changer.”
“Yeah, I guess it does. I guess he’s just that awesome.” She said the last part bitterly, and I could see the ghost of longing and resentment haunting her eyes.
“Hey, I’m sorry about John, but you have to get over him. You dumped him over a year ago and it’s time to move on. Besides, he’s a short, ugly, unintelligent douche anyways and you could do so much better.” John and Alexa had dated for two years off and on until she dumped him November of freshman year, and apparently she still hadn’t gotten over him. I personally couldn’t stand him since he had been a grade-A douche to Alexa the whole time they had been dating and because I knew Alexa could do so much better.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” was what she said, but her eyes were still clouded with thoughts of John. Suddenly she snapped out of it and turned to look at me. “You never liked him, did you?” she asked me, searching my face for a reaction.
“To be honest, I always knew he was douchebag and that he never treated you right. So that would be a no, I didn’t like him from the moment I met him.” If Alexa had listened to me back in seventh grade and had dumped him like I told her she should, she wouldn’t be in the mess she was in now. I guess it was good she eventually did listen to me freshman year and dump him.
Last edited by Sonmi-451 on Thu Apr 12, 2012 12:24 pm, edited 12 times in total.
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Sonmi-451 wrote:Perhaps those deprived of beauty perceive it most instinctively.
Sonmi-451 wrote:To be is to be perceived. And so to know thyself is only possible through the eyes of the other. The nature of our immortal lives is in the consequences of our words and deeds, that go on and are pushing themselves throughout all time. Our lives are not our own. From womb to to tomb we are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.
My couples thread and my books Kodiak and Triple Crown
Note for mods: Llover is my friend in real life that uses my computers.
Currently trading Growing White July, Nonballoon, Sunjewel Bun and various Advents
Sonmi-451 wrote:I believe death is only a door; when it closes, another opens. If I care to imagine heaven, I would imagine a door opening. And behind it, I would find him there, waiting for me.
Sonmi-451 wrote:Knowledge is a mirror, and for the first time in my life, I was allowed to see who I was, and who I might become.
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Re: Kodiak

Postby Lanton » Tue Apr 05, 2011 4:13 pm

I really like the start so far. Interested to see what happens next.
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Re: Kodiak

Postby Sonmi-451 » Wed Apr 06, 2011 10:27 am

“I guess I should’ve listened to you in seventh grade and ended there and then-”
“But you didn’t and you dragged it out for two more years and you’re still dealing with it,” I ended for her.
“Yeah.” She shook her head at her own stupidity, a grimace of disgust curling across her face. “I don’t know what drug I was on for the two years I thought he was cute.”
“I think John was slipping you something because he knew he wouldn’t be able to get you if you were sane.”
“Probably. I don’t think any sane chick, no matter how desperate she was, would date John,” Alexa agreed. “I still have no idea what I was thinking when I was dating him.” A few seconds’ of silence, during which we actually took notes, and then, “So do you know what kind of – I hate to say this – monster he is?
“I have no idea, and right now I really don’t care. To me, the only thing that matters is that he actually isn’t human, you know? I might care once I get over the shock of him not being human, but for now I really don’t.” I shrugged and looked at Alexa, lifting my head up from my paper.
“Yeah. I think it’d be awesome if he was a werewolf or something though.”
“You know, I don’t think he’s a conventional monster, so to speak,” I told her, pretending to write so we wouldn’t get yelled at.
“What do you mean?” she asked me, her eyes clouding over with confusion and her gaze fixed on mine.
“I mean I don’t think he’s like a werewolf or a vampire or a typical monster. I think he’s something different – I don’t know what – but he’s not one of the monsters you usually hear about.” I shrugged, a goofy grin spreading across my face. “A typical monster? Oh my God, what the heck am I talking about?”
“So do think he’s like a monster that has a human form or do you think he’s a shapeshifter?” she questioned, looking at me. I must have seemed confused, as she then elaborated. “So you know like how vampires have one form and that’s a human one? Do you think Kodiak’s like that or do you think he can change what he is?”
“I… Oh God, I don’t know. I mean, I can’t think of a human-formed monster that would fit what he can do, so I think that he has to be a shapeshifter,” I replied, looking at but not really seeing the notes on the overhead. “But I guess the question now is what kind of thing he shifts into since by definition shapeshifters become something else.”
“Yeah. So what kind of creature do you think he becomes?”
“Well, he gives off incredible amounts of body heat, his eyes reflect red like a dog’s do and he has scary good hearing. So I guess if you look at it that way, he’s probably a canine of some kind.”
“I hope he’s some kind of awesome canine, like a wolf or jackal or something, and not something lame like a Chihuahua,” Alexa murmured, and I burst out laughing in the middle of dead silence, attracting a lot of attention.
“Ellise, what’s so funny?” Mr. Mack asked me, looking curiously at me and Alexa in the back of the room.
“Just something Alexa said,” I replied, trying to control my voice and stop it from shaking with suppressed laughter.
“Alexa, don’t be as funny next time,” Mr. Mack told Alexa, trying to give the impression of sternness and not pulling it off at all.
“Ok Mr. Mack.” Alexa smirked and glanced over at me, mouthing the words, “Next time don’t laugh as loud.”
I elbowed her and whispered, “Yeah Alexa, don’t be as funny next time.”
“Cause you completely weren’t the one laughing,” Alexa whispered back, nudging me sharply in the ribs.
“Ow, that hurt! I didn’t elbow you that hard!” I hissed back, shooting her a glare.
“Um, yeah you did,” she muttered back, and I knew it was going to be a fun math class, elbow war included.

What was I going to say to Ellise? I couldn’t just walk away from her and pretend like I never was attracted to her; she had become my reason for existence and I knew that I couldn’t just leave her without killing myself internally. I hadn’t had much to exist for so if I left Ellise I knew that I wouldn’t have any reason to exist, considering that I was met with hatred and discrimination wherever I went. But Nymeria was right: she hated my guts, and apparently not for being non-human, but for being dishonest and messing with her mind. I guess I couldn’t blame her on the messing-with-her-mind issue; I couldn’t really blame her about being pissed that everything she thought she knew about me was a lie either. I really hadn’t been a very good boyfriend, despite the fact that I loved her with all of my heart and really tried to be my best for her. Maybe my best just wasn’t good enough when it came to relationships. It was kind of pathetic really: I had superhuman strength, could read people’s minds, could sense what people were feeling and could run thirty miles an hour but I couldn’t make a relationship with the girl I loved last for more than a day. My forte definitely wasn’t human interaction. Despite the facts that I really did try and I really did care, I just seemed to be unable to get human beings to like me or even tolerate me, but maybe that was more of what I was than who I was. Maybe humans could sense that I was different and were instantly driven away by the fact that I wasn’t one of them so I could be a fact. No, wait, there was no way that was possible; most of the humans I had met weren’t nearly that observant, and I would have like to think that many of them wouldn’t have hated me for what I was as well. However, there was always the possibility that I wasn’t giving humans enough credit on the observation end and too much credit on the sympathetic end. But I thought, no, I knew, that Ellise wasn’t like that. She was compassionate and intelligent and the most beautiful creature I had ever seen, even though that had nothing to do with her personality. I still had no idea what I was going to say to her though, because I couldn’t think of anything that would make her forgive me, and I didn’t know if there was anything I could say to make the situation better. The worst part was that I couldn’t just walk away because I loved Ellise too much and couldn’t live without her. I may have very well been a sailor sinking with his capsized ship, even though I didn’t want to admit it. The only difference between me and a sailor going down was that I couldn’t abandon ship, even to save my own hide, because I loved my ship too much and I couldn’t let go of her.

I waited for Ellise outside of her locker, leaning against the red metal with my heart beating a million times a minute. I had gone over inside my head what I was going to say at least twenty times in my LA class but I still didn’t if it would work, and, no matter what happened, I was not going to alter my girlfriend’s memory or mess with her mind at all.
My heart skipped a couple beats as I saw that Ellise was standing a few lockers away, talking to Alexa. Both of them were obviously oblivious to the fact that I was there, which didn’t help calm my racing heart. Ellise laughed at something Alexa said and I smiled to myself; Ellise had the most beautiful laugh, that, like everything else about her, I had grown to love. I snapped out of it instantly as soon as she turned towards me, however, and braced myself for rejection and maybe even some yelling and cursing.
“Oh, hey,” she muttered, her moth twisting into a grimace at seeing me standing there. “So what do you want this time? To mess with my mind some more?” Her eyes flashed and I knew this wasn’t going to be easy.
“Ellise, I want to apologize,” I murmured, taking her hands in mine and forcing her to come closer to me.
She seemed taken aback. “Well, let’s hear it,” she finally said, her gaze locked evenly on mine as she pulled her hands out of my grasp and backed up.
“Ellise, I am so sorry for lying to you and not telling you straight up,” I told her, hoping that my voice reflected all of the sincerity I felt. “I should’ve told you what I am right to your face as soon as we started dating.”
“And?” She seemed more amused than angry now, which heartened me greatly.
“And I’m sorry for reading your thoughts,” I added, smiling as she smirked at me. “So are you not going to dump me?” I asked her, really hoping that she wouldn’t break up with me.
“Kodiak, I was never going to dump you in the first place.” She slipped her hands inside of mine and I uttered a sigh of relief.
“Really?” I was stunned. I thought I was going to have to give my speech to prevent being dumped and to apologize for what I had done.
“Really,” she confirmed, her eyes twinkling. Our faces were close now and my heart was beginning to speed up again.
“But why wouldn’t you dump me?” I asked, and then realized how stupid it was of me to say that. “I mean, it’s not like I want you to dump me,” I said quickly, trying to not lose ground, “but I’ve done so much crap that I would think that you’d want to dump me.”
“Kodi, sometimes you just have to trust people even after they haven’t trusted you. It’s called having faith in people; you should try it sometime.” She was still smiling, but I could tell that she was dead serious.
“I already have,” I murmured, then leaned in and kissed her. When I pulled away, I said, “I have faith in you.”
“I know,” was all she said in reply, but I could tell that she was relieved to hear that. “So you actually aren’t human, right?”
“Nope,” I assured her, smiling at the fact that there was someone besides Nymeria that I could trust with my secret. I guess Ny didn’t even count because she shared the secret.
“Ok. Just making sure I wasn’t completely missing something here.” Ellise looked up at me for a couple seconds, her gaze not judging but almost awestruck. Finally she snapped out of her trance and said, “Well, I need to get into my locker.”
I moved out of her way and watched as he spun the dial to each of the three numbers, 13, 15, 26, which I tried not to memorize but I just couldn’t help it. When she had put the books she didn’t need back, put the folders she did need in her backpack and shut her locker, she asked me, “So what exactly are you?”
“I am one-half gray wolf and one-half African wild dog, to be exact,” I answered evenly. It was a new experience for me, telling someone what I was, since the only person that knew about me was Ny, and she was a mutt like me. “I’m kind of a mutant though since I’m about six feet tall at the shoulder when I’m in my real form.”
“So you are a shapeshifter!” Ellise exclaimed. “I called it! I told Laurel-”
“What?” Why would she tell Laurel about me? From what I had seen, she didn’t even like Laurel very much!
“I’m sorry Kodiak, but I needed someone to talk to last night when I figured it out and Laurel was there. She’s actually a really good sister,” Ellise added, smirking at my expression. She herself had quite an adeptness for guessing thoughts.
“Does Alexa know too?” If Ellise had told Laurel, there was no way she hadn’t told Alexa, but I just wanted to confirm my suspicions without reading her thoughts.
“Yeah, but neither one of them know exactly what you are since I didn’t know when I told them,” Ellise told me, meeting my gaze evenly.
“Ok. So do you want to come over to my house tonight?” I asked her, desperately hoping she would say yes so I could spend more time with her.
“Kodiak, you don’t even have to ask.” Ellise stood on tiptoe and kissed me on the cheek, then walked off towards her next class.

“So, um, this is my room,” Kodiak told me as we stood in the doorway. For some reason he sounded ashamed; I didn’t know why because I thought the place was amazing.
Three of the walls were painted a dark blue, and there were the words ‘KJJ – Air Force’ on the one painted white with an incredibly detailed Air Force Falcons logo underneath.
“Who painted the Falcons logo?” I asked him, my gaze glued to the stylized bird of prey. It was beautiful, a perfect replica of the original.
“I did,” he answered, sounding shy.
I turned towards him. “You never told me you were an artist.” I looked up at him and smiled as I realized that I truly had found a flawless guy. “You’re amazing, Kodiak.”
“It’s nothing,” he answered quietly, but he was being falsely humble. The painting truly was incredible.
“Don’t be falsely humble Kodiak, because you’re only lying then,” I told him. “You really are really good.”
“I’d rather be falsely humble than bragging though,” he responded softly, looking down on me and meeting my gaze evenly. “A fair number of civilizations have been ruined by their leader’s egos and I don’t remember any ever dying because their leader was too humble.”
“True. Still, don’t deny that you’re good when you are.” I meshed my fingers in his and smiled, feeling incredibly lucky that I had been good enough for him. I then turned my attention back to his room.
“Rise Against, hmm?” I murmured, looking at the poster that adorned one of his dark blue walls. The poster showed the members of Rise Against posing together, the whole image shades of red and black, with the band name emblazoned across the band members’ torsos. “I wouldn’t have thought that you listened to punk rock.”
“You wouldn’t have thought I wasn’t human either, right?” His eyes twinkled as he looked down at me, humor hiding in his face.
“True again.” He always had something good to say, no matter what the subject was; I was completely the opposite since sometimes it was a struggle to come up with a sentence that made sense.
“Do you play?” I asked, nodding in the direction of the acoustic guitar leaning against one wall.
“Um, yeah,” he replied, again sounding almost embarrassed.
“Would you play for me?” I knew I was probably pushing my luck but I wanted to see if he really was the total package – musician, athlete, gentleman, genius and non-human all in one.
“You don’t even have to ask Ellise,” he answered, smiling at me. He walked over to his guitar and picked it up, then strummed a few chords. “It’s close enough to being in-tune,” he muttered, then began to play and sing.
“We live on front porches and swing life away,” he sang in an incredibly good voice, “We get by just fine here on minimum wage/ if love is a labor I’ll slave till the end/ I won’t cross these streets until you hold my hand.”
“You never told me you could sing!” I exclaimed, completely convinced that he was the most perfect guy on earth with that discovery.
“You never asked me if I could,” he replied, smiling at me with that brilliantly white, stunning smile of his that always had me wondering how I had been good enough to get him.
“True – again,” I agreed, grinning back at him. He always had something witty to say, no matter what the subject was. “So what song was that?”
“Swing Life Away by Rise Against,” he answered. “It’s one of my favorite songs, and Rise Against is one of my favorite bands, as you can tell.” He gestured in the direction of his poster.
For a few seconds, both Kodiak and I just looked at the poster, and I thought that maybe him liking Rise Against was more about rebelling against the society that hated him by listening to music that pointed out society’s flaws rather than actually liking the band. “Well thank you for singing and playing for me Kodiak,” I told him, “but I think I have to go home now.”
“Ok.” He sounded disappointed, and I desperately wished I could stay longer, but I knew that I was cutting it close to begin with.
We walked back down the hallway together and he opened the front door for me and waited as I grabbed my backpack. Suddenly something struck me as odd: Nymeria hadn’t been there the whole time that Kodiak and I were.
“Hey, where’s Nymeria?” I asked him. I hoped nothing bad had happened to her, but I didn’t think that it was possible for her to get injured because she was the toughest five-eleven, one-fifty I’d ever seen.
“I think she’s on a date,” he replied, smirking. “Took her long enough.”
He opened the car door for me and I murmured, “Thanks,” then asked, “Why hasn’t she been out on dates before?”
“She has… issues trusting men.” Kodiak spoke slowly and carefully; I could tell that he was choosing his words cautiously.
“Oh,” was all I said in reply. I didn’t know why that would be, since Nymeria was a good deal tougher than most men that I knew, but I knew better than to pry. I had already figured out one Johnson family secret that wasn’t mine to know, so I felt like it wasn’t my place to ask any other questions. It probably wasn’t my place to ask questions to begin with, but here I was now, dating a shapeshifter because I had asked questions. Curiosity might have killed the cat, but I knew with all my heart that the thought of what that curiosity could unearth was worth the danger.

“Well thank you for coming over to my house today Ellise; I hope I’m not too boring to hang out with,” Kodiak told me as we pulled up in front of my house. He looked over at me and his eyes twinkled gently from the smile quirking his lips. He was so perfect, so, so perfect…
“Well thank you for inviting me to come over,” I replied, grinning back at him. I unbuckled myself and was just about to open my door when, in the blink of an eye, Kodiak was there to open it for me. I gasped audibly in surprise and then muttered, “I’m never going to get used to that.”
“You don’t have to Ellise,” he murmured, cupping my chin in his hand looking down on me, meeting my gaze. Kodiak dropped his hand from my face and then took my hand in his, walking me up to my front door.
“Ellise, sometime, I don’t know when, but sometime soon, I’m going to show you me, in my real form.” He turned to me and looked down on me; I could tell by his expression that he was completely serious. “I think I owe it to you in a sense,” he added, smiling slightly.
“I would like that Kodiak, I really would,” I told him, looking back up at him. If he was this gorgeous as a human, he had to be amazing as a canine.
“Just wait till you actually see me,” he replied, and all hint of a smile had gone from his face. I knew that he still felt like I would hate him if I saw what he really was; I also knew that I could never hate Kodiak because I loved him too much for such an emotion to be possible. “Well, I have to go; I’ve got Calc homework and I really don’t want to have to stay up until midnight to do it. I mean, if I were talking to you, I would love staying up till midnight, but Calculus isn’t nearly as enjoyable.”
He grinned down at me and took his hands in mine, then kissed me gently just as the front door opened. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Laurel standing there, leaning on the doorframe, with a smirk on her face. At least she wouldn’t rat me out to our parents.
“Bye Ellise,” he told me as he turned away and walked back to his car.
I watched him drive away and then finally murmured to myself, “I love you Kodiak,” knowing in my heart that it was true.

“You and Kodiak make such a cute couple,” Laurel said to me as I walked back inside the house. I turned to look at her and saw no jealousy in her eyes; I knew that she was being completely serious and sincere.
“Thanks,” I replied, giving her a small smile.
“Only telling the truth here Lise,” she told me, a smile quirking her lips. “No need to thank me for that.”
“You are such a good sister Laurel.” I walked over to her and wrapped her in a huge bear hug, feeling a couple ribs, hers – and – mine, crack in the process.
“Thanks Ellise.” Laurel sounded strangled almost. “If you could let go of me, that would be great, cause I can’t breathe right now.”
“Oh, sorry,” I told her as I promptly freed her. “I definitely didn’t mean to choke you.”
“Oh, it’s fine.” Laurel waved her hand in a dismissing gesture and shrugged. “At least you didn’t’ completely choke me.”
“Yeah, I think I would be the worst sister in the history of bad sisters if that happened.”
“Yeah, you might have gotten that title,” Laurel agreed. “ At least you did it with good intentions though. It’s the thought that counts, right?”
I was silent for a few seconds, causing Laurel to look over at me in alarm. “No, it’s not the thought that counts,” I finally said. “The only thing that really matters, in the long run, is what actually happens. We can try to justify an outcome all we want, but in the end, the only thing you’re left with is that outcome, not your justifications for it.”
“Who are you and what have you done with my sister?” Laurel asked me, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me. “Has Kodiak screwed with your mind and made you go all philosophical-smarty pants on me?”
“Not that I know of Laurel,” I answered, taken aback. “And I’m your sister still; I’m just in love, and because of that I’ve gone all hopelessly romantic and philosophical on us.” I smiled down on her, trying to convince her that I in fact wasn’t an alien, but Ellise Renee Lech still.
“Ok, just checking.” Laurel returned my smile, but hers didn’t seem nearly as convinced. It was actually kind of funny: she had believed me when I told her my boyfriend wasn’t human but she wouldn’t believe me now when I told her I actually was her sister. “Well, how’d it go at Kodiak’s house?”

“So she didn’t dump you on sight?” Nymeria asked me, amazement tingeing her voice. It was so nice of her to have so much confidence in my relationship with Ellise.
“Nope, she just got really pissed about the whole mind-reading thing.” I decided to ignore the implication of her question and answered it civilly, but I saw a smile of amusement quirk her lips as she sensed my emotions change. Nymeria was almost too perceptive; if you spent five minutes around her, she would know your whole life story. Actually, it would have probably taken her only two and a half to get your life figured out.
“Which is very understandable. I’m still amazed that she didn’t dump you on sight though.” Nymeria stretched and I heard her shoulders pop.
“You missing hunting too?” I asked her, looking her directly in the eye. I missed hunting more than anything else: I missed feeling the wind in my fur, the scent of panic, acrid and strong, fill my nose, and the adrenaline fill my veins as I closed in for the kill. I didn’t really miss the blood because it was always so messy or the feeling of the kill since I wasn’t a sadist, or at least I fashioned myself not one.
“Yeah,” she said shortly, looking down at her hands. “I don’t miss much else from our past life, but I definitely miss hunting. It was the one thing that made us canine, that made us semi-normal, and now it’s gone. Oh well; we knew that we would have to make sacrifices if we were to live as humans, so I suppose it was to be expected.” She looked back up at me and I could see the weariness in her eyes; she was tired of pretending, just like I was. I had tired of pretending long before that though.
“Someday we won’t have to pretend anymore Ny,” I told her, willing myself to believe it as well.
“You know, I’d like to believe you Kodiak, but I don’t think the humans would be able to handle the fact that their whole lives, they’ve been wrong about what’s fact and what’s fiction. I also don’t think that they’d like the fact that we have twice their intellect and ten or twenty times their strength either; I think they’d consider that a blow to their pride.” She smiled up at me, no humor in her grin. “Humans are creatures of insatiable ego; sometimes I feel like their pride rules them, and those people ruled by pride would have a serious problem with us.”
“Nymeria, not everyone’s like that.” I wished desperately that she would see that truth like I had, that she would realize not all humans are bad.
“I know, but the ones that are ruin it for everyone else that isn’t,” she murmured. “It’s like the children in kindergarten: they all get punished if one does something wrong.”
There she had struck a nerve and really ticked me off. “Ny, it’s not your place to judge people because of what other people do; if you judge the masses based off a small percentage of the population then you’re no better than the humans! That would be uncalled-for stereotyping and discrimination, and that’s exactly what the humans have done to us! Don’t sink to their level Ny; just because they play dirty doesn’t mean you have to. Be the better creature, and remember that you can’t get ahead if you’re getting even.”
“What do you know about being the better creature and not stereotyping? You trust almost less than I do, and most of that is because you’re too blinded by what individuals have done that you seemed forced judge the rest of the population for it! You’re an effing hypocrite Kodiak, and I don’t have any use for those! You practice what you preach or you keep your mouth shut,” she spat venomously, pushing her way past me in a fury.
She stormed down the hallway – I could almost see steam coming from her ears – and slammed the door to her bedroom shut.
I heard a loud crack and an even louder thump and then her tired voice said, “I’ll fix the door later.”
I glanced down the hallway to find her bedroom door lying on the floor, all three of its hinges snapped.
“Like brother like sister,” I muttered to myself, and then smiled despite the broken door. Nymeria and I really were a lot alike; if that was a good thing was up for discussion.

I jumped the fence that separated Alexa’s house from mine. Well, technically I fell over since my foot got caught, but I got over anyways even though I landed on my face instead of my feet.
“Ow,” I muttered, raising a hand to feel my face. Nothing broken, nothing bleeding; that was good.
I continued on my way to Alexa’s house, walking as quietly as I could since it was nine at night and I wasn’t supposed to be out. I also didn’t want to wake Alexa’s little brother and sister since they could be demons if they wanted to and I didn’t want to have to deal with them.
I climbed the steps of the back deck and let myself in through the sliding glass door. Alexa’s dogs, thank God, weren’t out, so I wasn’t approached by anyone or anything on my way up to Alexa’s room. I crept up the stairs as quietly as possible, wincing as they creaked. I could hear the muffled sounds of a movie coming from upstairs, and I knew that Alexa was awake too.
I snuck the rest of the way up to her room and hissed, tapping on the door, “Alexa, it’s me! Let me in!”
I heard a small shriek of surprise and then the moaning of springs as Alexa got off her bed. “Holy crap Ellise you scared me!” she whispered back after she opened the door. Once I was in her room and the door was shut again, she asked in a louder voice, “Why in the heck did you sneak over to my house in the middle of the night?!”
“Well, it’s not technically the middle of the night-” I began, then shut up as I saw the death glare that Alexa was giving me. It was probably best to just answer the question and not nit-pick details. “I need to talk to you about Kodiak and you aren’t answering your phone or anything so I decided to sneak over to your house and talk to you in person.”
“What’s so important that you would risk being busted for breaking and entering?” Alexa’s voice and stature oozed boredom. She wouldn’t be bored when she heard what I had figured out about Kodiak though.
“Just for your information, I didn’t break and enter; the screen door was unlocked.” I didn’t want to be called a burglar by my best friend; besides, Alexa had nothing worth stealing except for a couple of cute shirts.
“Whatever,” Alexa muttered, obviously very disinterested. “Just get to the point.”
“Well, there’s actually two things. Number one, I figured out what kind of non-human Kodiak is and it’s pretty epic.”
“What is he?” Alexa asked, genuinely curious. I could tell from her tone of voice and the way she stood that she was actually cared.
“He is one-half gray wolf and one-half African wild dog,” I told her. Seeing her confused expression, I added, “He’s a shapeshifter.”
“Oh,” she said, positively dumbfounded. I couldn’t really blame her, since the idea of an animal being able to transform into a human and a human being able to transform into an animal was pretty hard to wrap your head around.
“Yeah,” I said in agreement. “It’s kind of hard to think about I guess but it makes just as much sense as werewolves and vampires do.”
“No ‘I guess’ about it,” Alexa replied. There were a few seconds of silence, then Alexa asked, “So what’s the second thing you came over to tell me?”
“Well, I don’t think Kodiak’s telling me the whole truth still,” I admitted to her. True, it was just a hunch, but my first suspicion about him had been right so I was pretty sure there was something to it.
“What else is there for him to tell you?” She looked at me questioningly and shrugged her shoulders. “I mean, he’s already told you what he is, so what else can there be for him to hide?”
“I don’t know, but I think there’s something else that he’s hiding about his identity or his past.” I just had the feeling that there was something more to what he was that he wasn’t telling me; I had no idea what he was hiding from me, I just knew that he was hiding something and that I wanted desperately to know it.
“I’m not saying he isn’t hiding something from you, but how exactly are you going to figure out what he’s hiding if he is hiding something?” Alexa looked at me skeptically, clearly doubting my theory that Kodiak had more to hide.
“I…” I paused, knowing exactly what the truth was but not wanting to say it. “I… I don’t know Alexa. I have no idea what Kodiak is hiding from me or how I’m going to figure that out, but I just know he’s hiding something.” I grasped for words, not knowing how to put into words I wanted to say. “Have you ever just known that something’s true? Like, without any proof that says it is or any reasons to back it up?” I asked her.
“Yeah,” Alexa answered slowly, looking at me concernedly, like she thought I was losing my sanity. Silly her; I had lost my sanity a long time before that.
“Well that’s how it is for me. I have no proof that Kodiak’s hiding something else from me, all I have are my suspicions, yet I know in my heart that he is, I just know it!” I exclaimed, trying to convince myself that I wasn’t going crazier.
“Are you saying that you have faith in your instincts Ellise?” Alexa questioned, looking at me curiously.
“Yeah, I guess I am,” I replied, returning her gaze.
“Ellise, that might not such a good idea,” she told me, and we both laughed, at the fact that it was part false and at the fact that it was part true.

“Do you think I should tell Ellise about our… parents?” I asked Nymeria cautiously, willing her not to bite my head off. I knew that our family was a sore spot for her but I had to get her opinion since she was often more rational than I was.
“Well, it’s another one of those trust things. Do you trust Ellise enough to tell her the whole truth, or do you not feel comfortable with her knowing all about us and our family? It’s your choice. Just remember that there always is a fail-safe in case you make the wrong choice, that we can always go into hiding away from the humans.” She put her copy of Time magazine down and looked up at me. “I’d think that if you felt comfortable telling Ellise that you’re not human that you’d be fine with her knowing about our parents, but maybe I’m presuming wrong by thinking that.”
“I guess I should tell her,” I muttered, flopping down on the couch next to her. “But I don’t want to risk being dumped again, considering that I almost got dumped once already today.”
“You have to tell her though Kodiak or she’ll sniff you out,” Nymeria told me, rising to her feet and stretching. “She smelled out your last lie easily, but that might have been because you were reckless and stupid about hiding it.” I could tell that she was still bitter and uneasy about humans, especially teenage girls, knowing our secret, but she would have to trust me this time. However, there was no arguing with the fact that I had been careless and even downright dumb about hiding my secret around Ellise.
“True,” I agreed, despite the fact that I didn’t want to admit that she was right. “So when should I tell her?”
“Whenever you grow enough of a pear to,” Nymeria replied frankly. “God knows when that might be though.” She shot me a look and then walked down the hallway towards her room, magazine in hand.
“Thanks Ny, that was such a good answer,” I yelled after her in disgust. I made a face and then stopped myself in shock.
“Oh my God Nymeria might actually be right,” I muttered, burying my face in my hands. There was no might about it if you looked at the facts though; I had been kind of unmanly in my relationship with Ellise. It took me about a month to work up the courage to ask her out, and when I finally was dating her it took me a little while longer to get the bravery to tell her my secret. And here I was again, unable to find the guts to tell Ellise the truth. Suddenly a realization hit me in the face harder than any punch ever had.
“Holy [censored] Valentine’s Day is in a week!”

What was I going to get Ellise? I had to get her something special, but I only had a week to find her the perfect gift. And the gift had to be perfect, because God knew I had a lot of stuff to make up for. I didn’t want to have to do this, but I couldn’t see any other alternative: I had to ask Nymeria for advice.

“So you’re coming to your older sister for advice on what to get your girlfriend?” Nymeria asked me skeptically, amusement tingeing her voice as she looked up at me and tapped her fingers on the table.
“Yeah, I guess I am,” I replied, looking at her and shrugging. “I know it’s kind of hard to believe, but I guess I am,” I repeated, resigning myself to what had come to pass.
“I never thought this day would come,” she murmured, shaking her head, “but I’m kind of glad that it has, since it means that we’re blending in and being absorbed into human society.”
I didn’t say anything in response, mostly because anything I would have said would have pissed Nymeria off. After a few seconds, I asked, “So what do girls want for Valentine’s Day? Well, to be specific, what should I get Ellise for Valentine’s Day?”
“Well, I can’t tell you exactly what you should get Ellise because I don’t know her that well, but I can give you ideas as to what she might like,” Nymeria told me.
“Ok, cool.”
“So, to start with, I would say that you definitely need to get her roses or some kind of flowers, since every girl wants flowers.” Nymeria tapped her chin in thought. “Hmm… chocolate or candy of some kind wouldn’t be a bad idea either.”
“Ok. Is there anything else?” So far, she hadn’t told me anything that I didn’t already know, as apparently she thought I knew absolutely nothing about girls.
“Well, if you really want to go full-out and be the overachieving boyfriend, you could get her jewelry of some kind. However, you have to realize that you could be spending a lot if you get her quality jewelry.” Nymeria looked over at me. “Something you have to consider and be practical about.”
“Ny, I want to get Ellise the best gift in the whole wide world, no matter how much it costs, since my gift to her is probably going to be part of my apology.” I didn’t want to admit that I was going to have to try to buy Ellise’s heart, but I had a lot to apologize for. “So, knowing that, what do you suggest I get her?” I asked her in a serious tone.
“Well, if you want to go all-out and be a really good boyfriend, I would suggest that you get her some kind of jewelry.” Nymeria looked me directly in the eye and I knew that that was what I had to get Ellise.
“Do you think I should get her a necklace or earrings or what?” I was leaning towards getting her a necklace, but Nymeria was the girl here so what she told me would determine what I got.
“If I were the one getting jewelry as a gift, I would probably prefer a necklace over earrings. I don’t know Ellise’s preferences though.”
“Ok. What kind of necklace do you think I should get her?” I knew I was asking a lot of questions but I was determined to get the perfect gift for Ellise.
Nymeria smirked and said, “Maybe I should just go with you to the jeweler.”
“But really Ny, what kind of necklace do you think I should get her?” I didn’t really want to put up with Nymeria’s smart-talk, but I had to if I wanted her help.
“Well, if you really want to spend a lot of money, you can get her a necklace that’s customized with her name. However, you’re looking at a thousand dollars at least if you do that,” she told me. “Just something to consider.”
“Ny, I don’t care how much it costs; I just want to be the best boyfriend that I can. I’ve got money to pay for it and I really want to try to show Ellise how much I care and how much I’m sorry for all the crap I’ve done.” I cared so much about her that she had become my reason for existing and I hoped to show her that with my gift.
“You’re trying to buy your girlfriend’s heart?” she asked, her tone stern and disapproving.
“No. I’m trying to show her how much of my heart she takes up,” I replied shortly, meeting her gaze.
“Hmm…” Nymeria stared at me with her x-ray stare for the longest few seconds of my life, trying to figure me out. I was glad that she couldn’t read or manipulate my mind, because I knew that, even though she was my sister, she wasn’t above doing that. “Well, good for you,” she finally said, her tone slightly mocking.
That was it. I had had enough of her taunting and attitude and I wasn’t going to put up with it any more. “What the hell is wrong with you?” I half-exclaimed, half-asked.
“Excuse me?” Her voice took on a venomous tone, but I didn’t care. I had kind of gotten used to it by now.
“You have been downright snippy for the last month, and I have no idea why! So I repeat: what the hell is wrong with you?” I stood up quickly, knowing that she soon would too.
“You want to know what the hell’s wrong with me?” she cried, rising to her feet. “Well I’ll tell you what the hell’s wrong with me: society’s wrong with me, being someone I’m not’s wrong me, living a life – this life – that I frankly don’t want to live’s wrong with me!”
“Ny, I know exactly how you feel, but we have to stick in this, we have to! We have to prove that we are stronger than society and that society doesn’t own us,” I told her urgently, desperately hoping that she would agree.
“Kodiak, what in the hell’s the point in standing up to society? It’ll crush us and make us conform eventually, and when we can’t, well, that sucks for us, now doesn’t it?” Her tone was as bitter as a raw cranberry and I could see the disgust take over her face.
“Nymeria, if we don’t stand up to society and prove that we’re stronger than it is-”
“That’s the thing Kodiak: we’re not stronger than society! I don’t care that we’re seven-foot-tall African wild dog-wolf hybrids who are the children of darkness! In fact, it doesn’t even matter what we are, because we’ll never be stronger than society! Kodiak, almost everything in this world has changed at some point, but society never has because it’s stronger than everything else! Sure, the ideas and beliefs that society shares have changed, but base concept and organization of society has never changed! And you want to know why? Because society’s kept people in check for almost a hundred thousand years just the way it is! And sure, there have been people who’ve rebelled in that time, and some of them are famous – for getting killed or executed! It’s not worth it, Kodiak, to stand up to society, because all we’re going to get is killed and then maybe a headline on the local news, and I don’t know about you, but I value my life more than that!” She stared at me hard, anger and bitterness and sadness personified in her glare.
“Nymeria, what if we’re the ones who can change society?” I asked her evenly, unfazed by her rant.
She froze, her gaze losing all of its edge. Finally she said, “Kodiak, there have been a whole hell of a lot of better people come through this world before us, and if none of them could change society, then how can we hope to?” Her voice was not sharp anymore, just sad and empty, exactly how I felt a lot of the time.
“Because there have never been another Kodiak James Johnson or Nymeria Marie Johnson to walk this earth. Nymeria, we’re one-of-a-kind with one-of-a-kind opportunities and roles in life, and maybe one of our roles in life is to do the unthinkable and change what’s unchangeable. Have you ever thought about that?” I didn’t know if we were supposed to be the ones to change society, but I knew that we certainly weren’t meant to lie down and let humans and their stupid prejudices walk all of us for the fear of us getting hurt. I mean, it’s not like we had much to live for anyways, so I didn’t why we shouldn’t go out there and try to do something with our lives that maybe was a little dangerous or risky.
“There you go thinking that just because we’re superhuman we’re all high and mighty and meant to do high and mighty things!” she snarled, glaring at me again. The room was reeking with the acrid smell of anger and I shook my head slightly to stop the scent from intoxicating me.
“Nymeria, we are superhuman and we are more powerful than the humans, so why shouldn’t we use our powers for good? We should at least use our powers for something instead of just lying down and letting the humans walk all over us!” I almost yelled back, raising my voice despite myself.
“Kodiak, the fact that we’re superhuman actually is kind of irrelevant! Do you know how many superhumans have walked this earth over the course of history? A whole hell of a lot more than just us, and sure, most of them were big and important, but eventually almost all of them got murdered or committed suicide because the stress of being different got to them or got to the people around them! Society always wins, Kodiak, always, without fail, and you must have a hell of a huge ego to think that we would be the first to truly change that!” She spat the last sentence with an incredible amount of ferocity and rage, so much that I idly wondered how long she’d been this bitter and cursed myself for not noticing it before.
“We were given superhuman powers for a reason Ny!” I exclaimed, and, much to my surprise, she froze.
“Do you truly believe that? Do you believe that we weren’t just given those powers as a cruel trick by our dad or by whatever god is up there?” she demanded, pessimistic as ever. She really needed to learn how to be optimistic.
“Do you truly believe that whatever god is up there is spiteful and put us on this earth just to get a laugh out of it?” I asked in return, reading her mind instantly and without thinking.
“Yeah, I do, and stay the hell out of my head!” she shot back immediately, her temper flaring like a flame fed by a gust of wind. I felt a burst of pain shoot through my temple and I almost doubled over, my vision so blurry and my eyes watering so much that I could barely see. When I was able to sit back up and see straight, I looked at her and shook my head.
“No, you don’t Ny, you really don’t,” I murmured quietly, staring her straight in the eye. “I know you, and you may be a pessimistic fatalist with a 240 IQ and the ability to predict the future, but you aren’t completely convinced that life is a living hell and that there’s no joy in life.”
She paused fully for a moment and looked at me oddly, her eyes glinting with an emotion that I couldn’t read. Finally she wet her lips and said softly, “You know, I didn’t used to be like this.”
“I know,” I replied gently, taking her hand in mine.
“That damn US government took so much from us,” she muttered bitterly, her lip curling into a grimace again. “At least they got what they deserved in the end.” She smiled briefly, but it was a smile without humor and full of spite.
I shuddered momentarily, remembering the human bodies strewn everywhere and the power, the electricity, pulsing in the air. It wasn’t something that I wanted to remember, but you didn’t forget a memory like that very easily. “Hmm,” was all I said in reply. I personally didn’t think that it was our place to judge others and take our vengeance out on them, but if I tried to tell Nymeria that, she would have probably told me that it wasn’t vengeance, it was justice, and that it was our job to enforce it.
“You’re thinking that they didn’t deserve it, aren’t you?” she asked me, an odd glint in her eye as she looked at me.
“They didn’t, Ny,” I told her quietly. “Both of us should’ve been the better creatures and not killed them.”
To my great surprise, she smiled again, her grin not reaching her eyes. They remained chips of golden ice that regarded me with cold disdain. “We were the better creatures just by existing Kodiak,” she responded finally. “Their lives were marred with sin and crimes, while we lived as well as we could being at their mercy.” She paused again for a moment, still staring me down with those frozen, calculating eyes. “It’s almost funny to hear you espousing human values when you’re not even human.”
“Not all humans are bad Ny, not all humans are bad,” I murmured, looking her straight in the eye. I then walked out of the room, leaving her and her negativity all by themselves.

I breathed deeply, preparing myself for the conversation I was going to have to have with Kodiak. I looked over at Laurel, who was leaning against the wall watching me, and smiled at her.
She smiled back and told me, “You look awesome. Now go out and knock him dead, or at least get the truth out of him.”
“I’ll try.” On a sudden impulse, I walked over to her and gave her a hug. “You really are the best sister in the whole world,” I said sincerely, then walked back towards the front door. I took another deep breath, and then opened the front door.

“You look… beautiful,” Kodiak murmured quietly, sounding almost breathless. He leaned forward and took my hands in his, his golden eyes searching my face. “Correction: you are beautiful.”
“Well thank you,” I replied, taken aback and incredibly flattered by his sincerity. I knew that the dress I was wearing probably helped a lot with that, but I was still very happy that he would compliment me like that.
“Ellise, it’s not the clothes that make you beautiful, it’s you who makes the clothes beautiful,” he told me quietly, his gaze locked on mine.
I was stunned, so much so that I just sat there for a few moments, lost in my amazement, until I finally came to my senses. “You really should get an award for best boyfriend,” I said finally, breathless myself. He truly was the nicest guy I had ever met; I still had no idea how I managed to get him.
“No, I shouldn’t,” he responded, looking almost ashamed. “I actually called you up tonight to tell you the whole truth about Nymeria and I.”
“I knew it,” I breathed. “I knew that there was something more to it.” And another score for my instincts; I wondered why I doubted them anymore.
“You always do Ellise. It makes me wonder why I’m still stupid enough to hide stuff from you.” He smiled, a grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes, and I was instantly reminded of Nymeria. Even though their personalities were very different, they were undeniably brother and sister.
“So what is the whole truth?” I locked my gaze onto to his and gave him my full attention.
“Well, the reason that I didn’t tell you everything when you found out what I am is that I thought you would know about my dad and hate me because of him. I guess that was a stupid fear though.” He grinned again, this time his smile actually reaching his eyes.
“Who is your dad?” A sense of foreboding was gnawing at my stomach like wolves at a carcass and my breathing was a little shallow.
“Ellise, do you know what ‘kuro’ means in Japanese?” he asked in response, all trace of a smile gone from his face.
“No,” I answered truthfully.
“Kuro means dark, or evil, so it’s not a very smiled-upon word, if you know what I mean. Ellise, my dad is Kuro.” His eyes searched my face desperately for a response that I refused to give just yet.
“You mean your dad’s named Kuro?” It must have just been a mistake that Kodiak made-
“No, I mean my dad is Kuro. He is darkness and evil incarnate in a body, and he has been hated and feared – with good reason – by many cultures around the world for more than six thousand years.”
I felt my breathing become even shallower as I processed that information. “So that makes you – the son of darkness?” I said aloud slowly, still not quite comprehending everything.
“Yeah,” he replied shortly, a hint of anger tingeing his voice.
“I take it he’s not a very good dad?” My attempt at lightening the situation seemed feeble and I wished I hadn’t spoken.
“You got that right.” His mouth twisted into a grimace and a cloud of hate crept across his eyes. “The only thing that he ever gave my sister and I is this.” He rolled up his sleeve and twisted his arm so his wrist was facing me. I gasped audibly when a very intricate black K just appeared on the inside of his forearm.
I sat there with my mouth open for a few seconds, staring in dumbfounded awe at the spot where the K had appeared. “How… did you do that?” I finally asked, more amazed by the tattoo’s appearance than the tattoo itself.
“Well, since I’m a shapeshifter, I can absorb the tattoo into my skin at will, which is what I almost always do when I’m around people.” He looked down at the stylized character with animosity. “After all, this isn’t really something I want people knowing about.”
“So Nymeria has one of these too, huh?” It was really weird: the tattoo just felt dark, like houses did when something bad had happened in them.
“Yeah, and she hates it even more than I do, if that’s possible.” He laughed bitterly, no humor in his voice.
“So what does the K mean?” I asked him, looking down at the illustration and feeling almost mesmerized by its complexity. If it wasn’t as sinister as it was, it might have actually been a pretty cool tattoo.
“It stands for Kuro.” His mouth twisted even more as he said his dad’s name. “It’s a mark of evil, a bad omen, so people say. In ancient Japan you could get executed for having one of these.”
“Wow. I guess your dad has a lot of haters.” That was a really severe punishment by my standards, no matter how much of a douche Kuro was.
“Yeah. He earned them all though.”
“How?” He must have done something really bad to make a society kill people just for having his tattoo.
“Oh, causing natural disasters, killing hundreds of thousands – it might be millions by now – of people. You know, the usual stuff that my dad does.” His expression became even more disgusted, something that I didn’t think was possible.
“Millions?” My breath caught in my chest. How did you even kill that many people?
“Yeah. He’s been killing and destroying for almost three thousand years, so he’s gotten pretty good at it with all that practice.” He shook his head, almost sadly, and then smiled at me. “Well, let’s not let my horrible dad ruin our evening.”
I wasn’t paying attention to anything Kodiak had said because there was a hooded figure creeping up behind him with a gun in each of his – or her – hands. One was pointed at me and the other was pointed at the back of Kodiak’s head. I was so shocked that my throat had constricted and I couldn’t say anything; all I could do was stare at the approaching person and hope with all of my heart that he or she wouldn’t shoot Kodiak or I.

“Up, Johnson,” a voice behind me commanded, and I turned around to find myself staring down the barrel of a pistol.
“Whoa now, I don’t want any trouble,” I told the hooded figure, slowly rising to my feet and putting my hands up. I tensed my body, preparing to shapeshift – and found that I couldn’t.
“Oh, I know all about you, Kodiak James Johnson,” the person murmured softly, chuckling bitterly. “You’re not gonna be shapeshifting on me.”
“Why can’t anyone else see this?” Ellise asked, her voice incredibly calm. She looked at me with concern, fear clouding her beautiful brown eyes.
“You – you’re like me, aren’t you?” I said slowly, realization striking me. “You’ve bent the air around us to make yourself invisible to everyone besides us, haven’t you?”
“Hey Johnson, you’re not as dumb as you look,” the gun-wielder replied, angry humor tingeing his or her voice. “I’ve also paid off and threatened everyone else here so that way it could just be you and me.”
“Why are you trying to shoot me if you’re like me?” I thought we immortals would try to band together to stop from being overrun, not take each other out.
“A paycheck’s a paycheck. Apparently you did something the government doesn’t like, and they hired me to take you out.” The person was circling me now, and I could feel his or her gaze almost burning my flesh with its intensity. I saw that I had about six inches on him or her, making him or her about five-eleven to six feet; I definitely had the physical advantage but I didn’t know how strong of an immortal they were. “Generally I only take serial killers, I never take out immortals, but I accepted this job ‘cause the world’s better off without you, son of Kuro.” The assassin spat the last three words, and I cringed on the inside. Was this the way other immortals viewed me?
“So you’re judging me based off my parents? That makes you as bad as the humans!” I exclaimed, unable to help myself.
“There, Johnson, you’re wrong, for presuming that we’re better than the humans in the first place. Sure, we’re tough, sure, we’re smart, sure, we could both blow this place up, kill everyone inside and walk out without a scratch, but that doesn’t make us mentally and morally better, that only makes us physically better.”
“We are both more than two times smarter than the average human-” I began, but was interrupted by the person, who by this point I was pretty sure was a she.
“By what measure, Johnson? An intelligence quotient test? Holy crap, you’re more naïve than I thought if you honestly think those things aren’t just bullcrap!” She shook her head, a bitter humor practically oozing from her words. “Johnson, you can be as smart as hell on paper, but if you don’t have common sense and can’t keep your sorry butt intact in the real world then you’re screwed anyways! Then it doesn’t even matter what in the hell you got on that IQ test, because when it comes down to it, nobody gives a crap about how much raw intellect you have. They only care about how well you survive out there in reality.” The assassin reminded me of Nymeria in the way she talked – cynical but sadly realistic – except for the fact that the assassin cursed a lot more than Ny did. “What this comes down to, Johnson, is that we really aren’t better than the humans. Like I said before, sure, we’re stronger than the humans and sure, we’re smarter on paper, but none of that means anything if we can’t do anything with it!”
“We do have gifts that humans don’t, and to not use them would be pointless!” I argued back. We were different than the humans, so I didn’t see why we didn’t use our differences to our advantage.
“Ok Johnson, if you wanna go out there and blow a building up to make a social statement against those humans, then you go right ahead, but in the very near future they’ll figure out how to kill us and then where will you be? On the news for a couple days since you got shot down, and then forgotten forever, maybe a footnote in history books if you’re lucky. Society doesn’t give a crap if you’re the next Einstein; if you don’t capture their attention and force them to revert from their habit of ignorance, then they’ll forget you quick as that!” The assassin’s voice sounded familiar, very familiar…
“Who are you?” I asked warily, staring down the hooded person with a hostile glare.
“I, Johnson, am the person who’s going to kill you,” the figure replied, stepping forward and placing her gun right against my left temple. “And yes, Johnson, I can kill you with this gun because I specially designed and made it just for that purpose.”
“You can read thoughts too?”
“Darn right. It’s the best way to get an edge on my victims,” she replied, pressing the gun harder against my head. “So, Johnson, any last requests? I’ll give you three if they’re doable.”
“Ok,” I murmured, mulling my options over in my head. Since the assassin was a woman, I had an advantage in strength as long as we were both humans. I had no idea how powerful of a shapeshifter the assassin was though, so I couldn’t guarantee that I would win if it came down to a fight like that.
“Well?” Her tone of voice oozed boredom and impatience and I began to hurry up my thought process since I knew I could very well get shot if she got too bored and didn’t want to wait.
“Well…” Quick as lightning, I started towards her and wrapped one arm around her waist and the other arm around her neck, rendering her completely helpless and causing her to drop her guns. She was strong, and she fought back hard, but thank God I was stronger. “First, I’d like to know who you are.” I removed my arm from her waist, quickly pulled the hood off of her face and gasped in surprise.
Last edited by Sonmi-451 on Thu Apr 12, 2012 12:30 pm, edited 16 times in total.
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Sonmi-451 wrote:Perhaps those deprived of beauty perceive it most instinctively.
Sonmi-451 wrote:To be is to be perceived. And so to know thyself is only possible through the eyes of the other. The nature of our immortal lives is in the consequences of our words and deeds, that go on and are pushing themselves throughout all time. Our lives are not our own. From womb to to tomb we are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.
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Sonmi-451 wrote:I believe death is only a door; when it closes, another opens. If I care to imagine heaven, I would imagine a door opening. And behind it, I would find him there, waiting for me.
Sonmi-451 wrote:Knowledge is a mirror, and for the first time in my life, I was allowed to see who I was, and who I might become.
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Re: Kodiak

Postby SkyeInfern0 » Thu Apr 07, 2011 9:51 pm

Please write more.
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Re: Kodiak

Postby Sonmi-451 » Sun Apr 10, 2011 2:42 am

See 1st post.
Last edited by Sonmi-451 on Sun Feb 12, 2012 9:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Sonmi-451 wrote:Perhaps those deprived of beauty perceive it most instinctively.
Sonmi-451 wrote:To be is to be perceived. And so to know thyself is only possible through the eyes of the other. The nature of our immortal lives is in the consequences of our words and deeds, that go on and are pushing themselves throughout all time. Our lives are not our own. From womb to to tomb we are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.
My couples thread and my books Kodiak and Triple Crown
Note for mods: Llover is my friend in real life that uses my computers.
Currently trading Growing White July, Nonballoon, Sunjewel Bun and various Advents
Sonmi-451 wrote:I believe death is only a door; when it closes, another opens. If I care to imagine heaven, I would imagine a door opening. And behind it, I would find him there, waiting for me.
Sonmi-451 wrote:Knowledge is a mirror, and for the first time in my life, I was allowed to see who I was, and who I might become.
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Re: Kodiak

Postby Sonmi-451 » Sun Apr 10, 2011 12:56 pm

See 1st post.
Last edited by Sonmi-451 on Sun Feb 12, 2012 9:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
Image
Sonmi-451 wrote:Perhaps those deprived of beauty perceive it most instinctively.
Sonmi-451 wrote:To be is to be perceived. And so to know thyself is only possible through the eyes of the other. The nature of our immortal lives is in the consequences of our words and deeds, that go on and are pushing themselves throughout all time. Our lives are not our own. From womb to to tomb we are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.
My couples thread and my books Kodiak and Triple Crown
Note for mods: Llover is my friend in real life that uses my computers.
Currently trading Growing White July, Nonballoon, Sunjewel Bun and various Advents
Sonmi-451 wrote:I believe death is only a door; when it closes, another opens. If I care to imagine heaven, I would imagine a door opening. And behind it, I would find him there, waiting for me.
Sonmi-451 wrote:Knowledge is a mirror, and for the first time in my life, I was allowed to see who I was, and who I might become.
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Re: Kodiak

Postby Sonmi-451 » Mon Apr 11, 2011 2:25 pm

See 1st post.
Last edited by Sonmi-451 on Sun Feb 12, 2012 9:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
Image
Sonmi-451 wrote:Perhaps those deprived of beauty perceive it most instinctively.
Sonmi-451 wrote:To be is to be perceived. And so to know thyself is only possible through the eyes of the other. The nature of our immortal lives is in the consequences of our words and deeds, that go on and are pushing themselves throughout all time. Our lives are not our own. From womb to to tomb we are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.
My couples thread and my books Kodiak and Triple Crown
Note for mods: Llover is my friend in real life that uses my computers.
Currently trading Growing White July, Nonballoon, Sunjewel Bun and various Advents
Sonmi-451 wrote:I believe death is only a door; when it closes, another opens. If I care to imagine heaven, I would imagine a door opening. And behind it, I would find him there, waiting for me.
Sonmi-451 wrote:Knowledge is a mirror, and for the first time in my life, I was allowed to see who I was, and who I might become.
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