One Hundred Years of Solitude-- Viscet #2457 Tryout DNP

[Strudel]

Back to my post

Name: Cordelia
Gender: Female
Song: No Roots- Alice Merton

Index:
1.) Consider Me the Young Apprentice
2.) Caught Between the Scylla and Charybdis
3.) I Have Only Come Here Seeking Knowledge
4.) Mephistopheles is Not Your Name
Hey, Little Songbird
5.) I Can See the Destiny You Sold
Wayfaring Stranger
6.) I Know What You're Up To Just The Same
7.) Devil and the Deep Blue Sea Behind Me
Cordelia's Carnival (Mis)Adventures
Other Art
Credits and Acknowledgements

*Note* These tales are in chronological order following various events in her [Cordelia's] life, and were meant to be read in order. However, they are not in a chapter format. Each is a story of a different part of her life. They can be read out of order without too much trouble, too, if a reader is only interested in one section. it should be easy enough to pick up on what's going on for the most part.

[Strudel]

𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘔𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘨 𝘈𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘦

Sometimes when you get what you wish for most of all, we call that a happy ending. You break the bottle on the proverbial ship and sip your champagne in celebration. You go home with your head held high in victory and your heart swells with the knowledge that your worries have been solved and you can finally be whole again. That you can be happy again.
And yet…
Sometimes, just sometimes, you wish for something so deeply that it nearly consumes you. You wear your heart-- and that wish-- on your sleeve like a badge of honor. You fall asleep to the mantra of your wish playing in your mind. You wake up with such awful yearning-- a hunger-- for a dream you barely remember, just to realize that it was a dream fueled by that longing in your soul for that one thing you want most of all.
Sometimes, just sometimes, when you finally get that wish it’s not what you envisioned.
Sometimes getting that one wish granted is as dark and foul as your worst nightmares.

Sometimes, a wish gone horribly wrong (or horribly right) can be your undoing.

Not everyone can have a happy ending.

If I'm going to tell you this tale, I suppose I should start from the beginning. It's a humble beginning, I think. It's not exactly as exciting or grand as an epic sung of some long-dead hero. But it is her story. The story of how-- well lets perhaps not get ahead of ourselves here. You'll learn soon enough what has become of her. And it all started with an egg, as so many stories do.

In the lush, Spanish countryside laid the egg that was the catalyst of our tale-- and a catalyst of a life. The egg was simple, no special patterns adorned the shell. Yet the blue and gold speckles that dusted the egg were beautiful-- striking even. The colored seemed to promise a child of unparalleled beauty. One would certainly wonder why such a beautiful egg was left alone among the rolling hills, resting in grass nearly tall enough to cover it. Surely no one would leave such a defenseless, unborn child to fend for itself in the vast wilds, no matter how breathtaking the landscape. And yet... for some reason, there was no one there at all to care for the egg or the infant inside.

At least there was no one until a very confused viscet happened upon the egg underneath the mid-afternoon sun.

"Is it trembling?" this mysterious viscet asked no one in particular as she approached the egg cautiously. She had certainly never seen an egg left on its own, and so thoroughly exposed. She might not have realized it just yet, but the egg would soon hatch. She would learn that soon enough, but at the moment she simply lifted the shaking egg, embracing it against her chest like a precious treasure.

Her red eyes bore into the egg, hours later, when she had settled for the night beside a fire. She watched, blinking rarely, as the shell began to splinter piece by piece. She waited with bated breath as a new life was ushered into the world before her very eyes. She smiled brightly as ruby eyes met green and gold for the first time. Her breath hitched as she watched the young viscling crawl from its egg and straight into her embrace. The little one barely managed to blink at her sleepily before dozing off in her new mother's embrace.

Ottilie-- this new, accidental mother-- held the child close to herself and smiled. She knew in that moment that she was so very much in love. Of course, soon the child would be just as smitten with her. When she woke again, the moment their eyes met, the viscling knew instinctively that this female would care for and love her. They both knew their fates would be intertwined. By then Ottilie had already decided on a name. When she spoke the name to the infant for the first time, Ottilie smiled down at her warmly.

"Cordelia will be your name." she spoke softly to her child "For you are my heart now."

The female, Ottilie, nurtured the young viscling, travelling all the while. She feared of what would happen to the child should she disappear, and hoped to find someone to look after her, but the countryside was not nearly as full of viscets as she was used to. Ottilie, as it would happen, was an accidental time-traveller. She couldn’t control her ability, and she feared one day she would disappear on the young Cordelia. She knew she had to find another guardian for the child as soon as possible. The area she was in was far different from its modern-day counterpart, however.

In the meanwhile, she did her best to care for young Cordelia and teach her how to care for herself. Of course when she did eventually find other viscets, she couldn’t let Cordelia go and so she continued to travel with the viscling by her side. Maybe she was hoping to outrun her own problems, or perhaps she thought as long as she was on the move things could stay the same, whatever the reason, they never did stop for more than a handful of days in any particular place.

Months passed, and although Ottilie promised herself every time that the next time she would find a proper guardian for Cordelia, she never did. She couldn’t bring herself to do it. Besides, she reasoned that perhaps this time was different. She felt like she belonged here, that this was where she was meant to be. Finally, she thought that she had found a home not in a place or a time but with a person. A person that needed her-- that needed her protection and love. She reasoned that she wouldn’t leave this time, that this was always where she was meant to be.

As time continued, and as Cordelia grew from a toddler to a child, Ottilie still stayed in the same time. She grew complacent, until one evening when she had laid down her loving daughter for the night, she could feel it coming on.

It started with a pull, as it always did. Dread trickled in her stomach as the familiar ache tugged at her. Immediately her eyes settled on the form of her daughter with a look of pure fear. She didn’t even have a chance to cry out for her before she disappeared.

Once again Cordelia was left all alone in the world. She would wake up several hours later and immediately search for her mother.

She would never stop looking for her, either.

The events of that night and that morning would play in her mind far too often. It would always be a mystery she could never solve, and she would never be ok with that.

Back then, Cordelia was a still a child. A child, in fact, who knew nothing but wandering. She didn’t have any friends, or anyone to call on for help. They had never stayed in one place for very long. Travelling was all she knew to do. She took what food they had, and continued on where she was fairly sure her mother was taking them next. She hoped beyond hope, as she cried herself to sleep every night, that her mother would find her soon. If she just kept heading in the same places they had planned to go, surely her mother would be able to find her.

Of course the food didn’t last long, and young Cordelia had to learn quickly to fend for herself. She discovered all too soon that the world was far harsher than any child should have to face on their own. But she faced it, all the while still searching for her lost mother. She was a stubborn child, and even when she would come upon a town and be told that, no, they had not seen her mother, she would barely lose heart before moving on. And when asked to stay for a while, or to settle down with a family, she would always reject the offer. For how was she to find her beloved mother if she stayed in one place? Staying in one place was inconceivable. Her mother had never done it, and neither could she. She would often wonder how anyone could live like that anyway.

It wasn’t until she was a young teenager that she finally paused on her long suffering search to settle down.

By then, young Cordelia had begun to see the benefit of staying in one place. She would travel to places, and see the same families still together if she came back to visit them a year or two later. In all that time, she never could find a trace of her mother anyway, it was as if she had vanished into thin air. But even bitter over what felt like a hopeless search, she was still a sweet and hopeful viscet. So hopeful, that she began to hope for other things besides finding her mother.

What Cordelia wanted most of all then was a home and a family. She found a patch of land by a town and built a place of her own. Of course she didn’t expect to get a family, she was hardly old enough to make her own, but she found one regardless. She made friends for the first time, and those friends eventually became what she considered a family.

After months passed of being settled, it was no wonder when her sweet, innocent heart found something to set sights on. Or, well, somebody.

Cordelia fell in love for the first time. She could feel the love in her chest every time she looked into his eyes. He was strong, noble, and sweet. Most of all, he was charming and interested in listening to her. He would spend hours listening to the stories of her travels, and he would tell her his own hope to travel someday. She would sing to him, and he would hang on every note. Every suave word he spoke to her, and every moment she spent with him had her falling for him more and more every day, until she finally told him how she felt.

“Mykolas” Cordelia had spoken softly that evening by the dying fire. He had been about to leave, never staying past when the embers in her fireplace would die down “I think I might love you.” her eyes were made of stars and hope, then. They only brightened as he smiled back at her.

“You’re so beautiful, Cor.” he replied without delay “And so kind, so sweet. So… caring.” and he had meant those words. He held her in such high regards, and there was a part of him that loved her, there probably is still a part of him that does, but this of course isn’t his story “I love you very much.”

It had been then that Cordelia had decided she would always stay there, by his side. In this town forever, if she had to. She gave up hope on finding her mother then, but she could feel a new hope in her heart. She would make roots wherever he wanted, and they would make a family. Even if it was only ever the two of them, she would be satisfied.

“I love you very much, too.” Cordelia replied back, it felt a little strange on her tongue to say. Perhaps because it felt so formal, the way the two of them said it. It wasn’t romantic, not really, just two inexperienced teens in love for the first time.

“You already told me, Cor.” Mykolas smirked as he teased her “But I could hear you say it a hundred more time, and never tire of it.”

It wasn’t a hundred time. It was fifteen time. Cordelia knew, because she counted each time. Not that she meant to, it was more subconscious than anything.

The fifth time she told him that she loved him, she buried the last scrap of cloth that had once belonged to her mother in the ground outside of her humble home.

The eight time, she kissed him for the first time. It was a sweet, chaste kiss that didn’t last nearly long enough for either of them, but Mykolas had to go back home and Cordelia didn’t beg him to stay just a few moments longer.

The tenth time, she swore to herself she would always love him.

The fifteenth time, she told him she planned to stay there, with him. She told him how she wanted to build a life with him. It was obviously what she desired most of all, he could see it in the way she held herself while she spoke, he could see it in her expression.

What would have been the sixteenth time, he stopped her.

“Mykolas, I lo-”

“Cor, please…” Mykolas had stopped her mid-sentence. He couldn’t hear it, not again. Not when he was going to break her heart. “I… I do love you Cor but…” it was as if the words wouldn’t come at first. His brow scrunched in, his jaw was clenched, and his claws began to dig into her shoulders where he held her so tightly to keep her back from kissing him. She shifted a little, but didn’t complain about the discomfort.

“I think we should just be friends.” Mykolas whispered.

Cordelia’s heart shattered in the moment. She couldn’t even speak as she ducked out of his grip. She ran, but Mykolas didn’t follow.

He didn’t chase her, he couldn’t tell her the reason. He wanted to travel, he wanted to see the world, and even though he did love her he wasn’t ready to settle down yet. He was still young. He wanted to be himself, before worrying about anything else. And he, most definitely, didn’t want to take from her what she wanted most of all. She wanted to settle down now, she loved this place. She wanted a family, and she couldn’t have that on the road with him.

With a heavy heart, Mykolas found the courage to leave that evening as the sun set. He left knowing he had broken her heart, but she was strong and would recover. She would find the life and love that she wanted there, or somewhere else. Knowing that it would be with another man hurt, but he had made his decision.

And she had made hers.

“I don’t have roots, and I can’t make roots either.” Cordelia whispered under her breath as she dug up the hole again to place the locket that Mykolas had given her in with her mother’s ragged cloth. She buried them both again in a box before covering it up. She didn’t think she would come back for them, but she couldn’t bear the thoughts of destroying them with everything else.

It was well into the night when she threw a torch into the home she had built. She stayed long enough for the heat of the fire to unpleasantly warm her face before picking up her knapsack and slinging it over her shoulder. Cordelia didn’t look back as she headed out of town, headed for the wilderness this time. She didn’t need a road to find her way, she didn’t want a road. Living with other viscets had made her weak and complacent, or so she thought. She would change that.

[Strudel]

𝘊𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘉𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘤𝘺𝘭𝘭𝘢 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘺𝘣𝘥𝘪𝘴

The world was made of fire and mortar.

There was nowhere else to run, not now when the forest was being devoured by hungry flames and the roads were blocked by soldiers.

The soldiers were only humans at first, easy enough for a still-too-young Cordelia to slip past with practiced ease, but soon there were viscets everywhere. Large, strong, and mean-- they were covered in metal plating, and even with the gunpowder in the air they could still sniff her out.

She was running out of places to hide.

Cordelia had been hiding in the wilderness, away from others of her kind, for two years now. She had travelled far. She found herself in a place where humans still inhabited alongside viscets.

As she had hidden herself away, she had missed the whispers of the coming war. A human war, a war that by all right shouldn’t have affected viscets, and yet… it seemed to take over the whole continent, and soon the humans had turned their eyes to the peaceful viscets for their aide. The viscets were as big as steeds, nearly as heavy too, with muscles that rippled under their furred hides. It was logical, it made sense that the humans had sought them out to use them as weapons of war, just as their ancestors had done in the past.

Cordelia had missed all of this. She hadn’t been in the villages when the humans had come, seeking out her brethren. She hadn’t watched as the able-bodied males and females were taken from their homes, sometimes as volunteers… and sometimes not.

She hadn’t known anything about it until she had come down from the mountains for a change of scenery.

And now she couldn’t get away.

The fire scorched her face as she rushed past, trying to outrun the other viscets. She weaved through the trees, and many of her pursuers were too bulky and heavy to keep up. But she couldn’t keep this pace forever-- not with scorched paws and burning lungs.

When she didn’t hear any of them close, she leaned against a tree not yet touched by the flames. More of her breaths were coughs as she breathed in the smoke all around her. Already, she could feel the warmth of the fire on her pelt as she tried to force oxygen into her lungs. Flames danced before her eye in any directions she looked to. She felt trapped.

She still didn’t hear her pursuers behind her, but she couldn’t chance turning around, they would surely find her. She didn’t know why they were chasing her, didn’t understand why the forest was no more than kindling to this wretched blaze. All she knew, was that to survive, she would have to keep moving. She took only enough time to wrap her long tail around her body to keep it from the flames, and then off again she went, dodging falling trees and burning underbrush.

It felt like hours before she reached the river, all the while the flames chased her as they ravaged the forest. The river was absolutely drenched in ash, soot, and…

“...Blood.” Cordelia gasped as she smelled the metallic scent that left the river the color of rust where the soot didn’t touch. She cringed away from the river, but with the fire at her back she had no choice. She took a long, deep breath and dove in, just barely escaping a burning tree as it crashed to the bank where she had been.

Cordelia gasped as her head resurfaced, sputtering out the tainted water as the river began to wash her way with the current. She was too exhausted, and her muscles too sore, to put up a fight as the river took her further down into the valley.

When Cordelia awoke the world was on fire-- at least she thought it was. She blinked open her eyes, and she couldn’t see anything but bright whites and angry reds. She tried to move, but her limbs were like lead and her muscles like jelly.

“Am I dead?” she wondered idly. She didn’t think she was, after all she could feel her body, but then again she had no way to know for sure, not when she couldn’t even see.

“No, you’ve just nearly drown. What were you thinking, swimming in that river?” the voice that answered her question was soft, worried. It was surprising to hear such a gentle voice after only having heard the voices of the soldiers in recent memory. It was almost like a dream, and perhaps it reminded her of her mother.

Cordelia jolted up at the realization.

“No, no, lay back. You can’t do that, you’re injured.”

Cordelia blinked again, and her vision started to come into focus. It was daytime again, and the sunlight was what had blinded her. She tried to shake the fuzziness from her head, but a dull ache that had been just at her temple exploded into a roar of pain at the motion.

“Ahhh!”

“I said, lay back. You’re only hurting yourself.”

Cordelia looked to the woman beside her, and felt disappointment settle in her stomach like a rock. This was not her mother, after all. This woman had a snow-white pelt with markings that almost looked like ocean waves across her flank.

She was beautiful… but this woman was not her mother. She probably wasn’t even old enough to be her lost mother, though as Cordelia looked around carefully, she was able to deduce that she was, indeed, a mother. An viscling no older than Cordelia had been when she lost her mother was not far behind the woman, laying down and watching Cordelia with curious eyes.

“I’m Irissa.” the female said as she smiled to Cordelia “But you can call me Iris, everyone does. And my daughter here is Cascadia. Say hi, sweetie.” she turned to her daughter a moment, who smiled a bit and mumbled a short “hi” before looking away shyly. “Now listen, you rest back for just a few more minutes, and then I’ll help you walk. You need your strength back. You nearly drowned.”

Cordelia certainly didn’t remember almost drowning, but she couldn’t remember much about her ride down the river. So, instead of arguing, she simply nodded and did as she was told. She rested back and took some calming breaths. She began to relax, perhaps even dozed off a little for just a moment or two.

“No, no, don’t fall asleep. You have to stay awake. You might not reawaken if you sleep now.”

Cordelia groaned as she blinked her eyes back open “Are you sure?” she managed to say, her voice hoarse. “I feel like I could sleep for a week.”

Cordelia could hear a chuckled from beside her as she looked around to Iris again.

“I think if you’re talking this plainly, you’re able to move now. Come on, I’ll help you.” Iris stood up and offered a paw to the younger viscet before her “Come on now, take my paw.”

Cordelia reached out and gently grasped Iris’s paw. Iris gripped a little more tightly and pulled upward to help lift the other viscet.

“There now, that wasn’t so bad.”

Cordelia might have begged to differ. Her head was pounding even worse than before, but she didn’t complain. She simply nodded and allowed Iris to hold a bit of her weight as they began to walk.

“The village isn’t far, stranger, and there we should be able to find you a healer and a bed to rest in. In fact, my brother’s bed is empty. You can use his for as long as you need.”

Cordelia didn’t exactly understand everything that Iris was saying, but she nodded as she watched the young Cascadia run ahead of the both of them.

“Slow down, dear! We have to be able to keep up with you, little one.” Iris called after her daughter. The young one slowed her pace a little and they walked in silence for a few moments until Cordelia managed to find her voice.

“My name’s Cordelia. Thank you, for saving me.”

Iris shook her head “I didn’t even see you caught on the long until my little one pointed you out. I’d say you should thank Cas, but she’s honestly not going to talk to you right now. She’s too excited to get back to the village, and her little sister.”

“So you have two children? Two girls?”

Iris nodded in response.

“That must be nice.”

“Most days, yes. I love them both dearly. But it gets a little difficult to care for them without my mate. Thankfully, there are those in the village willing to help me out from time to time. Especially my younger brother’s friend, Gustav, who’s looking after my youngest now while I took Cas out for a while to practice foraging.”

“Where is your husband, if you don’t mind me asking?” Cordelia asked. The village was in view now, and she was looking forward to resting, but her curiosity won out.

“He was drafted, to fight in the war. My brother was as well.” Iris answered quietly, keeping her voice low enough that Cascadia wouldn’t be able to hear her “The human drafted them both a few moons ago. Before my youngest, Winry, was even hatched. I don’t know how long this war is going to last, but I sure hope it ends soon. It’s all just a big, bloody conflict. I even heard that the other side has gone about razing forests and villages recently. It’s awful. I’m fairly sure I saw smoke in the distance this morning, even.”

Cordelia grimaced, remembering the heat of the flames and the burning feeling of the smoke in her lungs. She remembered the dear, and it made her shudder.

“There was definitely a fire.” Cordelia croaked “It’s why I jumped in the river, I had soldiers and flames to my back. There wasn’t a choice…”

Iris hadn’t noticed the burns, being so concerned that she had drowned, but now that she was looking she could see them among Cordelia’s dark pelt.

“Oh dear child, I’m so sorry! That’s awful! Here, let’s get there more quickly. We should tend to those burns before they get infected.”

Cordelia grew silent as she let the small family lead her into the village. She spoke little as she was tended to, and less when she settled down to rest in Iris’s home.

It was a day and a half before she woke up to the giggles at the foot of her bed. It only took her moments to find the source of the hushed giggled. There were two small bodies completely wrapped up in her tail that trailed the floor. Cordelia chuckled a moment as she watched Cascadia-- and a young viscling she assumed was the younger sister Winry-- play with her tail.

“Little ones, what are you doing?” she asked, her throat raspy.

“Oh no! She’s gonna be mad! Every soldier for themselves!” Cascadia screamed, running off as she left her little sister tangled in the older’s viscet’s tail.

“Sowwy…” came the small voice as she ducked to hide behind the tail better.

Cordelia chuckled again as she sat up, wincing at her sore muscles “Oh no, I’m not mad little one.” she replied “My tail is so big, I don’t mind sharing from time to time. Just don’t step on it, little bit.”

“Funny… you funny.” the toddler responded as she tried to crawl out of the tail, tripping on it instead. “This tail?”

Cordelia tilted her head “Yeah, it’s my tail. Can’t you tell?”

Winry shook her head as she stood up shakily, tripping over the tail another couple of times before managing to find her way out of the pile of the appendage.

Cordelia shook her head some and stood up, taking the little one in her arms (ignoring the small squeak that the child emitted at the unexpected contact “Here, let’s find your mother. Maybe she can help us both.”

And that was the moment that little Winry fell in love with her soon-to-be-dubbed auntie Cordie. As Cordelia walked, Winry cradled in her arms, it felt to both of them like it was simply natural to be this way. When Iris saw them, she giggled at the both of them and took her child, forcing Cordelia to eat a little bit of something while she tended to her little one.

As the week continued Iris’s home began to feel like like home to her, and Cordelia didn’t quite understand why. It was as if this is what was meant to be, she was finally where she needed to be. Maybe even where she was needed? It did seem, to her at least, that Iris had a lot to handle with two little ones. Maybe she could stay for a while, find a place, and help out. What could it hurt, to settle for a while. After a short time, she could just move on again, right?

Cordelia spent a month recovering with the family before she thought of leaving. It wasn’t that she wanted to leave, per-say, but she knew she couldn’t stay much longer. She enjoyed helping with the girls and with the village, but that familiar itch started to come back. She could feel it under her fur, the urge to move. The urge to travel elsewhere and see new places. Staying still wasn’t something she could see herself doing anymore, and yet… with the war going on, where was she to go? It wasn’t as if she could make it around either side-- she was between the devil and the deep blue sea.

At least for now, Cordelia had to sit tight. She did anything and everything to stay busy and distracted, tried everything to scratch that travelling itch without leaving, but it was a matter of time before she’d have to leave, and she knew it. She told herself she would come back, soon. That she would leave for a few days, and be straight back. Being sandwiched in between the two sides, it wasn’t as if she had much of a choice. She would have to turn back, even if she didn’t want to.

In the meantime, she watched after the girls and helped Iris how she could, becoming close friends with her. Iris was full of spirit, and was fun to be around. Her children were beautiful, and fun-- though the smallest was practically blind until Cordelia managed to track down a pair of glasses in some of the humans’ territory not far off. It seemed, even with that itch, that Cordelia was settling in well enough.

But, honestly, it was only a matter of time. Something had to give. Something did give.

At first, Cordelia was just certain that Iris was simply tired. Raising two girls without her mate to support her had to be difficult, even with help. Cordelia couldn’t even imagine that, piled on top of the sick worry she must feel for her mate and her brother out their fighting. It must have been awful, Cordelia thought, to go through all of that. Of course Iris would feel tired-- overwhelmed-- maybe even worry herself sick.

But that wasn’t all it was. Over time, this became so much more apparent.

Days passed, and Iris seemed to only grow weaker and weaker. Even with Cordelia and Gustav working to keep after the children, and there to remind her to eat and drink, Iris seemed to weaken by the day. Not even the village’s healer seemed to be able to help. The thoughts of leaving left Cordelia’s mind again. She had far more important things to focus on than that incessant itch. She simply pushed it to the back of her mind and focused on the girls.

Cordelia was able to do it for a while, able to stay and care for this girls. But the worry for Iris was as constant as that itch to move. It was ever-present, almost under her skin, too, just as the itch always seemed to be under the surface.

“Little ones, come here a minute.” Cordelia called the girls over as Gustav tended to their mother. She wasn’t doing well that day, not at all. She hadn’t woken up, and her breaths were shallow. The girls were young, and couldn’t understand, but Cordelia did. It was a death-rattle. They didn’t know it, but their mother wasn’t going to wake up this time. There wasn’t a thing to be done for it, but that didn’t stop Gustav from making her as comfortable as he possibly could. That didn’t stop the pain of the lost from aching deep in Cordelia’s chest. She gripped her chest fur with her free paw as the girls clung to her, crying.

“When is momma getting better?” Cascadia whimpered as she clung to Cordelia’s side, her sister wrapped between the two of them “Momma’s been so sick, but she just needs rest, right? She just needs to rest and get better? Just like you did?”

Cordelia had to swallow down bile as she released her chest and began to gently rub the young girl’s back with soothing circles “Shhh, here, let’s go rest ourselves. Uncle Gustav needs to care for her. And you two need to sleep.” they cried as she led them to their beds.

It was in the night that Irissa passed, Gustav by her side the entire time. When Cordelia woke up in the night, the healer and his wife were already taking her away, while the neighbors were shuffling the sleepy girls out. The girls weren’t going to stay in the house, Gustav told her. They would stay with some of the other women who’s mates were out fighting the war. The women who were childless, and didn’t mind to watch after them, until either Iris’s husband or brother returned. There were tears in his eyes, and his voice was thick with emotion as he spoke.

“They’ll be cared for.” he promised “I know you probably were worried about them… but I promise, they’ll be cared for. I’ll make sure of it.” he spoke as if Cordelia wasn’t staying.

Maybe she shouldn’t. Now, stronger than ever, that itch was back. With the thought of watching the girls at Iris’s passing, she had assumed she would stay. That she and Gustav would have to care for them but… this changed things, didn’t it? Now that she didn’t have to stay, was it really her place to? Could she stay in Iris’s house? Was it her right? But why did the idea of never seeing the girls again make her feel so empty? More empty than losing Iris had made her, and that had completely gutted her as it were.

But how could she stay?

The only answer in her mind, was that she simply couldn’t. She stayed with Gustav for a short while, trying to say anything to console him, before finding the girls.

Winry and Cascadia were both asleep again at the neighbors. They were both so unaware of how their lives would change. They didn’t know about their mother, and it wasn’t her place to tell them-- something the woman watching after them made abundantly clear to her before she even was allowed to see them. She left a kiss on both of their brows before slipping away in the night again, leaving behind this home she had begun to accidentally build in her heart.

She wouldn’t admit it, but something in her broke that night. Waves of pain and loneliness washed over her as she travelled over the hills, soldiers be darned. She was leaving, and she wasn’t coming back. What could be left for her now, here, in this war-torn area? The girls didn’t need her, there was no reason to stay.

She had to keep telling herself this, over and over, just to stop herself from turning around the entire first week, until she had snuck past the last of the soldiers.

She was on her way again now, nothing ahead of her but the wilderness… and the crushing loneliness that she shoved into a corner in the back of her mind once again.

[Strudel]

𝘐 𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘖𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘏𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘚𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘒𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦

The buildings were all the same, in this part of the city. Everything was a dull, gunmetal gray-- even the people. This city, it was lifeless-- somber. The very life of the city was muted, as if the sun wasn’t shining, as if it was overcast constantly. Cordelia had no place in this city, there was no life to it, but she would find her way here, soon enough.

Cordelia found, soon enough, that she was no longer suited for the wilderness. It hadn’t changed, in the time she was away of course, but she had. She was so used to children and the constant bustle of the village that out here on her own she felt practically deafened by the silence. And when there was sound, she almost always seemed to jump at it. It was hard to live like this again, and at the same time appreciate the life she found herself leading again.

Perhaps it was time to make another change. She had only been alone for three months, but already it was driving her crazy.

Before the village, before the war, before her years long trekk in the wilderness alone, and before falling in love in another village not so different from the last she had already had a way of life. There had been a time when she could travel from place to place and interact with people openly. She would even sell the things she had managed to make or trade for in other villages-- usually pelts but oft times she would manage to trade for other more luxurious items. Of course this area was a little different from her “home” of before, she doubted things would work quite the same, but maybe… just maybe she could find happiness in that again.

Cordelia settled down as she watched the twilight fade into an afterglow on the horizon. She smiled to herself as she could see a village in the distance. She would stop there, first, with a few pelts. Maybe she could sell them, or maybe she could trade them, but even if she couldn’t manage to do that, at least there would be life there. There would be noise, a sense of being, and maybe she would stay there for the day before moving on to the next one. She would stay longer but she thought perhaps it would be better to take it in baby steps.

She left out before dawn, too anxious to hear other people to wait. She arrived early in the day, and oddly enough everyone was already bustling about. Viscets were gathering, stringing up lights in the town. Some were hanging banners, some were simply moving boxes from one place to another. The young and the old seemed to be working together to transform the square in their little hamlet. With so much activity and excitement, it didn’t take long for Cordelia to get swept up in it. Someone handed her a box without looking and told her to take it to the mayor, and after that she just seemed to be carted around from place to place until she was stopped by a gentleman who finally took the box from her.

“I believe that’s supposed to be mine, young lady. I can take that from here.”

It must have been the mayor, and Cordelia asked as much.

The man smiled and nodded “Why yes, I am.” he answered “What I’d like to know from you, little lady, is how you got roped into this craziness? You aren’t from around here, I know, so how did you end up helping to prepare for the festival?”

Cordelia looked around “Festival?”

“Why, yes, we’re decorating quickly. The war is ended, spirits are high, and our boys are home. We are throwing a festival in their honor.”

So the war was over. Cordelia thought that would make her feel relieved… but somehow it just didn’t. She knew it should have, that the war had been an awful thing for so many people, but she couldn’t bring herself to be particularly happy about it. Still, she plastered a smile on her face.

“That’s wonderful.” She responded without much thought “As for me, I just made it into town a little while ago. I just kind of got… swept away by it all. I was supposed to give that box to you, but I didn’t know who you were, and so I just kept… helping while I searched.”

The mayor chuckled and put paw on her shoulder “Well, well done. You’ve found me.” he replied “I won’t complain of course if you’re willing to help, but I insist you go to my wife and tell her I sent you. She’ll feed you a bit of something and give you a costume for the festival. You really should attend, if you’re going to stay and help. It will be wondrous, the most beautiful display we’ve had in years. There will be food, drink, and music. My little girl Minerva will be telling tales for the children, and she’ll go on stage later in the evening when the children are all resting to tell us a bit of a scarier tale. It will be a lot of fun. And you could sleep in my guest room afterward, I’m sure you’ll be plenty tired”

Cordelia’s eyes lit up with wonder at the invitation “Really?” she questioned reverently “You’re offering all of that?”

“Of course. Most of that will be here either way, I’m just offering you a meal, a costume, and a bed to sleep on. And that’s the least I can do, after you were dragged into helping out around town on your first day here.”

First day here. It really should be her only day, not just her first, but the festival sounded nice, and after the mayor had been so kind to her she really should take his invitation to stay for it. She needed to see this daughter of his, listen to her tale, and tell the mayor his daughter was talented. That would be important. What could a night there hurt? She would leave the following day.

“I’ll take you up on that, then.” she found herself answering before she had even fully decided to stay. Well, she supposed it was decided now then.

“Excellent!” The mayor replied, obviously excited that their guest was staying “My wife is at home, probably still working on breakfast. Just tell her that I sent you, and what I said. I’ll join you all in about fifteen minutes. Oh, and tell her I’m sorry I’m running a little late. I have to run these decoration up to my assistant.” he pointed to a house not far from the center of town, a little ways down the street. “It’s the one with the blue door. Can’t miss it. Just walk on it, everyone else does.”

It had been a long time since Cordelia had been in a town as opposed to a village. It wasn’t big, but it was certainly bigger than Iris’s village. That was a good thing, it felt different enough that it didn’t quite hurt to be here. And all the decorations certainly made it different too. She hadn’t seen anything quite this grand before.

Cordelia hesitated at the door for a moment. He had told her to just enter but… that just didn’t feel right? And besides, what if she scared them? She knocked tentatively, and then louder when no one came after a couple of moments.

“Coming!” she could hear a young voice from the other side of the door. Before she knew it, the door swung open and she was ushered inside by a viscet that was probably no older than twelve-- if that. She looked quite a bit like her father.

“Minerva?” Cordelia questioned.

The young viscet chuckled and tugged her along deeper into the house “Let me guess, daddy sent you? He’s the only one that calls me that. Call me Minnie.” she seemed encouraged by Cordelia’s compliance and tugged her all the way to the kitchen.

“Daddy finallys ent someone!” the young girl said, but before Cordelia could ask what she meant, she caught a glimpse of what must have been the mayor’s wife in the pantry.

“Daddy told you that he wasn’t going to send someone. I know you want someone to do the story with you, but no one has enough time to memorize everything.” the woman popped out and smiled at Cordelia “But I’ll assume my husband did send you. Did you need something, dear?”

Cordelia cleared her throat “Ah, I was helping with the festival…” she began.

“Oh no, my husband dragged you into that? He really needs to learn how to treat guests--”

“Oh, no, nothing like that. I kind of got sucked into it, and I met him along the way. He offered me a meal, and a place to stay tonight.” she didn’t mention the costume, that felt like too much to ask for. It all really felt like too much to ask for as it were. “Oh, and he wanted to apologize for being late too.” she remembered to add “He needed to give a box to his assistant. I guess he was already behind.”

The woman chuckled “Sounds like him. I’m kind of late anyway, so maybe it’ll be done by the time he gets here.” she motioned for Cordelia to take a seat next to the pouting Minnie.

The silence was comfortable for the two other viscets, but it felt awkward for their guest. Eventually, Cordelia found herself humming, and then singing quietly a tune she used to hear in the nighttime what seemed ages ago in many of the towns and villages her mother would take her to.

♪ “I am a rambling Irishman, in Ulster I was born in
And many's the happy hour I spent on the banks of sweet Loch Erin
But to be poor I could not endure like others of my station
To Amerikay I sailed away and left this Irish nation…” ♪

Cordelia’s voice faded at the end of the line, all of a sudden feeling self-conscious as the noises of clattering dishes had completely disappeared. She looked up to see the mayor’s wife smiling to her.

“Your voice is beautiful--”

“Beautiful? It’s downright gorgeous!” The mayor must have slipped in while the others in the room were captivated by Cordelia’s singing “My girl, you’ve got some serious talent. You said you wanted to help with the festival, maybe you could sing a little?”

Cordelia’s cheeks burned with embarrassment “Oh, no, I couldn’t do that. I don’t… I’m not trained or anything. I’m not really that good, really.”

“Oh nonsense!” he replied with a warm smile “You have the voice of an angel. And we do have an opening, someone is sick and can’t perform. Just two, maybe three songs? Whatever you like? We could really use you.”

Cordelia bit her lip as her long tail nervously twitched. Her paws rested in her lap, and she looked down to them now “I-I’ve never performed before. What if I… embarrassed myself? Or you, since you’re asking me to do it. What if--”

The mayor’s smile was warm, his expression soft and genuine “You wouldn’t. Your voice is beautiful, even if you make a mistake no one’s going to hold it against you.” he sighed lightly “You really don’t have to…”

Minnie grasped one of Cordelia’s paws and pulled it out of her lap “I think you should. You’d do great, even momma thinks so, right momma?”

Minnie’s mother nodded “But only if you want to. I know they’re both insistent, but you should do it because you want to, not because my family tells you to.”

Cordelia looked to all of them, and knew she would agree. They had been kind to her. And even as she sat there, contemplating, they didn’t mention it again-- instead they served her a meal and quietly talked, inviting her into the conversations. When they were almost done, and the conversation had lulled, she finally faced the mayor again.

“I’ll do it.” she gave him an affirmative nod-- more to convince herself than him.

“And you’re sure?”

“Yeah, I am.” she responded with little hesitation “I like singing, and honestly… I’m not going to stay here for very long. If I mess up, it’s not like I’ll be around to be ridiculed for it.”

“You aren’t staying?” the young Minnie began pouting again “But you could stay in our extra room! I could give you a pillow! I like you already, you’re pretty, and your tail is so cool, and you sing so nice. Please?”

Her father ruffled her mane a little “Now what did I tell you about being so forceful?”

“Ah… not to?” the little girl answered, her cheeks stained crimson at the correction.

“That’s right. You should just enjoy our guest while she’s here. And who knows, if you make a good impression on her, maybe she’ll come back for the festival next year.”

That is how Cordelia found herself on a stage in a town where she barely knew the all of three people. Sure, she had met other people while helped after eating, but she hadn’t been able to hold a conversation with all the moving about going on. Of course, she was fine by this. Just having the noise was a great distraction. She stayed out helping best she could until right before it was to start. She was called back to the mayor’s house to be dressed in the finest of costumes, mask included, and then released into the festival as it really started into full swing.

She had a lot of fun, played some games, won some prizes, and was completely swept away by the music. She danced with several young males-- who were very careful not to step on her tail-- and a handful of young females too before the mayor found her and started giving her a pep-talk for her coming-to-stage. It felt like entirely too soon, she was up on that stage, straightening her mask as she cleared her throat. At least she had managed to decide what songs to sing, and thankfully their fiddle player knew the two she wanted to sing the most. She swallowed the lump in her throat and stepped up to the mic. She smiled to the crowd, full of mostly adults now, and they cheered her on.

“This first song, is an old favorite. And maybe it’s just a little personal in some ways. I think you guys will like it, anyway.” and she began with the music, picking it up seamlessly.

♪ “To them she was a dancer-- child of the road
Gypsy of the world and a broken home
The daughter of a drunken man, takin’ life the best she can
One more stop for a dream and a heavy load” ♪

The crowd clapped along, and one of the banjo players from a previous band stepped on stage and joined in, obviously familiar with the song. It was obvious there were parts of the song that just felt a little too much like her own self, but somehow she didn’t mind anyway. She belted out, her voice reaching throughout the town.

It was beautiful.

By the end of that first song, they crowd was already ready for more. After a couple of good, solid breaths she began on the next song.

“Now this one, you guys will probably recognize. I think it’s a little more well-known. Considering I’m a traveller myself, I’ve always liked this song. It’s an old song called There is a Time.

♪ “There is a time for love and laughter
The days will pass like summer storms
The winter wind will follow after
But there is love, and love is warm” ♪

There probably wasn’t a dry eye in the audience by the last verse of the song-- Cordelia’s included. It was certainly a touching song, and the emotions behind the words she sung made it all the more powerful.

She cleared a lump from her throat again.

“Oh, wow, I’m sorry about that guys. I think we all need a breather after that. I think it’s time I stepped back down.”

The crowd all called back for an encore.

“One more song!” someone from the crowd shouted.

With a smile, Cordelia turned to the fiddle player and the man on the banjo that had ended up there during the first song “I guess one more couldn’t hurt. Y’all know Fire in the Blood?

They both nodded, and the man on the fiddle put his instrument in the case “I can sing that first part if ya like.” he offered “And Billy here can nab his guitar real quick while I do. I think it’s a good song, right for your voice too, probably.”

And as Billy ran off the stage, the other man took the mic and the crowd’s call for an encore stopped as they looked to him, confused.

♪ “Come walk with me through the pines
In the morning sun
The birds are singing in the pines
In the morning sun…” ♪

He sang the first two verses of the song before Billy made it back just in time to pick up before Cordelia took the mic again, this time starting with a deeper voice than she had before by a small margin, coming in at just the right part of the song.

♪ “You can’t hold me, I’m too slippy
I do no sleeping, I get wandering
You can touch me if you want to
I got poison, just my body..” ♪

The crowd didn’t clap along this time, they were fairly quiet, but Cordelia no longer cared if they liked it or not, she was doing this for her now. The thrill was intoxicating, she was in a trance.

The crowd was completely silent as the last verse finished.

♪ “You can slip and try to find me
Hold your breath and fled deny me
Makes no difference to my thinking
I’ll be here and you start sinking” ♪

She stepped away from the microphone and again the crowd cheered loudly. They called for another encore, but this time she stepped down. She wasn’t used to singing like this, and she didn’t want to push herself-- but it was so tempting to step back on that stage.

“That was fantastic!” The young Minnie called out, bounding toward Cordelia.

Cordelia smiled and thanked her quietly with a nervous smile. Now that she wasn’t on that stage anymore, she was a little nervous.

“Really, you did. You could do this for a living!”

A man had slipped up to them during the conversation. He was tall in stature-- for a human anyway, with neat blonde hair and a glowing smile.

“Oh kid, you aren’t kidding. She had a voice on her, this one. And that last song? The way she practically purred it? Oh, wow.”

Cordelia tilted her head at this strange man, the only human she had seen here.

“Look, Cordelia right? I’ve got a great-uncle in the city who would love to teach you, I’d bet money on. I’d love to write you a letter and send you there. You could really make a name for yourself.” he smiled brightly to her “I’ll go write that letter. Just find me, before you go, and I’ll give it to you. And I’ll give you directions. You should consider it.”

Cordelia didn’t know what to say, so she simply answered “I’ll think about it.” before he slipped off again.

“He’s got a point, you said you were leaving anyway, you might as well go there and see. Could you imagine, being a big star? Or even if not a big star, travelling around singing everywhere and making a living that way? You like to travel right? It would be a perfect job for you! I mean you could at least try it. What’s the harm? Then you could come back and sing again! Even better than now!”

Cordelia let young Minnie drag her back into the crowd.

“You just wait here, Cordelia. You have to listen to my story before you go to find that man. I don’t want you running off without hearing me on stage too.”

The younger viscet ran off to take the the stage, leaving Cordelia with her thoughts as she waited for Minnie to begin.

When Minnie came out in her costume though, and began her tale, it had Cordelia completely captivated. The lights of the festival dimmed and only the light directly on the stage was left bright, but as the performance continued the light began to dim. It actually was a pretty spooky tale, and Cordelia had to admit she didn’t care for it because of that. It was good, but scary stories tended to freak her out. By the time the lights came all the way back on, she was more than ready to be bathed by the artificial light.

She would tell Minnie she loved it, of course. It was good, and she wasn’t about to hurt the kid, but for now she had a human to find. Minnie was right, there wasn’t any harm in trying it. She loved singing, maybe she could at least learn how to sing better, even if she didn’t do anything but sing for herself.

The festival was over now. She had found the man, she had the letter in hand, and she was ready to leave the town. They mayor had convinced her to stay an extra day, but now she had a clear path and a place to go. She had never been so excited in her life over a destination as much as the journey.

The road wasn’t easy. It was a long trekk, and there were only a couple of small villages on the way. It rained nearly every day on the way there, and the fall season was growing colder by the day. She didn’t remember when she had been this wet and cold all at the same time before, but she couldn’t stop somewhere and hole up for the winter, it would drive her absolutely mad to simply wait out the worst of the weather to make it to the city after she finally had that destination in mind. She didn’t like staying still anyway.

When she arrived in the city, the first snow fell. Even with the swirling flakes caressing buildings as they fell to the earth, it was still drab. Even when the sun graced the skies, it did little to make the city seem welcoming or homey. Looking upon the city made Cordelia shiver-- though she simply attributed that the the cold that seemed to freeze her down to the bone. She sat on a bench and watched as human and viscets alike eyes her strangely.

There were certainly more of the former than the latter, and they definitely didn’t think she belonged.

Maybe it was her horns, or maybe her lithe body, or perhaps her long whiskers. Whatever it was, certainly caught other’s attentions because not a person passed who didn’t seem to keep an eye on her just a few moments longer than they spared anyone else.

For Cordelia’s part, she ignored them. It wasn’t as if she weren’t used to the odd looks by now-- from humans and viscets alike (though over the year she had met far more viscets than humans)

Eventually she stood, her body weak from the travel in the bad weather. She might have been sick, but she was determined to make it to the address given to her. But when she arrived and knocked, no one answered.

She waited a few minutes, until someone passed, and she stepped in front of them.

“Excuse me. The man that i'm here to see. His name is Gideon Williams. Do you happen to know him? Do you know where else I might be able to find him?” Cordelia asked, trying her very hardest not to cough on the human in front of her.

The man lifted the brow “The blues singer? Yeah, everybody knew him. He was a cool dude. Crazy talented too.” he replied “But, ah, guy died a couple of weeks ago. Some kinda accident. Fell off of a ladder on a stage or something setting up audio equipment? Yeah, something like that.” he coughed into his hand awkwardly “Well, ah, sorry to tell you the bad news and all. He wasn’t a friend of yours, was he?”

Cordelia was silent for a moment “N-no… friend of a friend.” she replied somberly “Thanks for, ah, telling me.”

The guy nodded and slipped off before she could say anything else to him, leaving here there alone.

Cordelia leaned against the doorway. She wasn’t really sure what else to do, or where else to go. Suddenly, the dream she had begun to harbor in her heart was stolen out from under her, and not only that but she found herself mourning for a man she had never met. She had placed a lot of hope at his feet, and he hadn’t even been alive part of that time. She had hoped for a mentor-- a friend in him. She hoped that her love of music could become something else with his help, but that dream was shattered now-- the last of her strength blowing away like the broken shards of her hope. She practically slumped on the ground as tears started to fall from her eyes and into the slow that was starting to gather on the sidewalks.

“What do I do now?” she whimpered softly. Her whimpering was interrupted by a bout of chest-rattling coughs.

She had never been this weak before. She had always been able to care for herself, but now she didn’t even have the strength to stand.

♪ Have a little song, won't take long
Sing it right, once or twice ♪

She began to sing softly to herself before she curled up into herself and started another coughing fit. She didn’t lay there long. She certainly didn’t want to die there in the cold, she knew she had to get up. So, even reluctantly, she stood back up and made her way to the first bit of shelter she could fine, under a broken awning in an alleyway, and curled up into herself to stay. Until morning, she wasn’t even going to bother trying to bring herself to move from that spot.

“I’ll feel better in the morning.” she told herself “After a nice, long rest.” her body wracked with shivers, but she simply curled in on herself further “It’ll be ok. I’ll--” another bout of coughing cut her off “I’ll head out, build a camp in the woods out from here a piece. I’ll build a shelter, and hole up like I always do. It’ll just be me again, travelling on. Nothing will change.”

She closed her eyes, so tired that she barely cared when she would wake up again, or even if.

[Strudel]

𝘔𝘦𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘕𝘢𝘮𝘦

The street lamps flickered on as Cordelia woke up. She blinked the sleep out of her eyes.

“How long have I been asleep?” she groaned as she stretched out her cold, sore muscles. It didn’t feel entirely long enough.

She had been in that awful city for a couple of weeks. She wasn’t strong enough to make it out on her own, with no guaranteed shelter. Not that she was faring any better in the city. She was freezing, she had no real shelter, and she was weak from sickness and hunger both. Not only did her body feel broken, but her pride was stomped into nearly nothing as she had to resort to begging for food. Of all things, this was the worst to her. She came here hunting a dream, and instead she was surviving on people’s scraps.

“I should have never come here.” it wasn’t the first time she said this, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. She knew she would survive, she had to, but she hated doing it alone… again. She was so tired of everything, tired of being in this city, tired of running, tired of being on her own. She had lived most of her life on the road, without a companion, but that didn’t mean she wanted to keep doing it.

When she got better, she would have to do something differently, she couldn’t keep surviving like this. Not anymore. It’s what had made her so desperate to chase a new dream without being prepared, and without any kind of plan. She might have been hungry, starving in those streets, but she was hungry for something else too.

She was hungry for that change.

When she realized this, it was like a new fire lit in her eyes. She was still weak, but she almost felt like she had some kind of purpose that she didn’t before. The prospect made her giddy, but what she could hear in the distance made her even more so-- it made her run with her tail trail haphazardly behind her as she dashed around the now-familiar streets.

She ran, tripping over her own weak limbs as she raced onward, only slowing when her body refused to go further.

When she reached the rougher buildings, she began to see the lights.

There was something about the music-- carnival music-- that called to her. She didn’t know why, but something was important about it and she was sure to find out soon.

Eventually she found herself leaning against a building as she looked at the scene before her. There were lights in brilliant whites and sparkling golds. The tent erected in the center stood tall, and proud. Light’s surrounded it in a halo of warmth and invite. The material was made of crimsons and golds. It was lush, alluring, and almost familiar…

It reminded her so very much of the festival she had attended. It reminded her of the start of her quest.

She winced at the memory of the moment she decided to come to this city, but the bright lights-- the life and the noise-- knocked that from her mind and she was left with the warm, fuzzy memory of singing on that stage. Of excitement, and wonder. Just thinking about it made her shiver in delight, and not the cold.

“Come one, come all!” The voice of a rather strange viscet called out from a stage oh so close to that (very possibly toasty) tent. He was clad in the strangest of garb, but what stuck out about him were the dots on his mouth that resembled stitches. Those weren’t paint, that was his pelt. It was quite unnerving.

Cordelia tried to focus on his words.

“Welcome to the greatest attraction you’ll ever be a part of. Dark's Pandemonium Shadow Show! There is true magic, and wonder, to be found in the Illustrated Man’s Shadow Games! Come discover the hall of ancient mirrors, where you’ll be shown what you most desire, or maybe be shown something about your true self that you did not know! Let your fortunes be read by Madam La Roux as she gazes into her all-seeing spyglass.” he raised the volume of his voice “Enjoy the rides, the food, the atmosphere. Enter the tent, if you dare, and see the Illustrated Man work his wonders. Watch great acts of gravity and death defying acts. Trapeze, tightrope, knife-throwers, fire eaters, anything your heart desires and more!” he chuckled “Or do you like a challenge? Join in some games yourself. But remember, it’s only a game. Try not to take anything too terribly seriously, folks. The wonders you see are just that-- wonders. Meant to be taken in and enjoyed. It’s only a show, but if you take it too seriously then even a show can go wrong…”

He seemed to disappear in a puff of smoke, startling the gathering crowd-- including Cordelia herself. Still, the promise of a warm tent certainly tempted her, but she she approached it, she noticed people turning around. When she reached the tent, a man-- a viscet-- smiled to her. There was something quite off putting about that smile.

“Sorry Miss, the next show doesn’t start for another ten minutes? Come back then?”

“I don’t mind waiting for it…” Cordelia replied, and the man looked her over with an odd quirk of his brow.

“Well, go on in then I suppose.”

What she didn’t see was the grimace on his face after the flap of the tent had closed once more.

Inside it was dark, and quiet, as if the thin material of the tent was somehow enough to keep out the sounds and the lights from the carnival outside. It was magic in itself, wonderful, and… perhaps a little eerie. Still, Cordelia didn’t let that get to her as she simply found her a seat in the empty tent. It was odd, she mused to herself, that there wasn’t anyone already in here setting up for the show that was to come. She shuffled her thoughts aside, and after a few moment she began to sing to herself. It was one of the tunes she had sung at the festival.

♪ “To them she was a dancer-- child of the road
Gypsy of the world and a broken home-- ♪

“You have a beautiful voice.” someone from behind her spoke. Cordelia practically jumped out of her skin before looking around frantically. From the shadows to her left stepped forward a man.

He was a viscet, large in stature. He was dressed in a fine, black suit with a vest of reds and golds and stitching on the jacket to match. He looked dashing-- handsome in a way that most men just didn’t seem to be. His golden markings didn’t sparkle, but they were certainly striking. The only thing more striking, perhaps, were his tattoos. They didn’t just cover the exposed parts of his pelt, no, they moved like living creatures. The sleeves of his suit jacket were rolled up, exposing so much of the tattooing in his forelegs. The result was mesmerizing.

“Are you… are you the Illustrated Man? Mr. Dark?” Cordelia found herself asking.

“I am indeed. I think you might have me for a loss here? And you are…?”

“Cordelia.” she answered without thinking.

“Cordelia…?” he asked, expecting some kind of surname.

“Just Cordelia.”

He frowned for only a moment before nodding.

“A beautiful name, to match that beautiful voice. Might I… Might I hear it again?”

Cordelia blushed fiercely, but she complied after a few moments of silence passed between the two of them. She sang the rest of the verse from the same song, trying her hardest not to focus on the living tattoos that graced the Illustrated Man’s body. She didn’t have the strength to continue singing beyond.

“Just beautiful. Simply captivating.” he paused “Say, what are you doing in here all alone anyway? The show’s not started yet.”

Cordelia looked down “I was cold, it was warmer in here.” her cheeks lit up like a fire with embarrassment “I… I just wanted to be warm for a few moments.”

Mr. Dark looked to her with concern.

“And hungry, yes?”

Her stomach chose then to growl, she had no choice but to nod after that.

“My act is already done for the night, I think, young lady. Follow me, I’ll offer you at least a warm drink.”

Cordelia couldn’t really refuse, or didn’t feel as if she could. He could kick her back on the streets if she didn't comply, and he just seemed so nice, and a warm drink sounded so very good. Maybe it could make this chill go away, at least for a while. Anything would be better than how she felt now.

They passed a carousel on the way, with a sign that read “out-of-order” and they passed the hall of mirrors as well as a small tent that promised oddities from around the globe. Cordelia looked all of this over with wonder, but she didn’t dare stop for fear of losing her kindly host.

They reached a wagon in the back of the carnival. It was gray, dusty, and nondescript.

“Is this…?”

“Yes.” Mr. Dark answered as he stepped up onto the wagon steps and opened the door “This is where I stay when the show runs. You were lucky, this is our last performance of the year.”

“Too cold?” Cordelia asked as he helped her climb onto the steps by offering a paw that she took gratefully.

“Yes, something like that. This is the last official day of fall, it would be foolish to carry the carnival into the winter. Can’t let the patrons freeze solid.” he chortled a moment as she stepped into the door.

Even this was magical.

Whereas the outside had been dull, maybe even in sore need of maintenance, the inside was lavish. So many different machines seemed to move, and everything was shiny and mystical. Even the fabrics on his bed were of beautiful, dyed silks. The tapestries and artifacts that draped from the ceiling were antique, some probably centuries upon centuries old.

Cordelia let out a gasp as Mr. Dark motioned her to a seat.

“Sit” he said “I’ll make some tea.” and he did, in no time at all they were sitting in a comfortable silence, sipping on tea until neither of them had a thing left in their cups.

“Better?”

“Better!” Cordelia responded, her voice far less hoarse than it had been “Oh, wow, your tea works wonders. But everything here does. I swear, even your wagon seems so much larger on the inside than the out, even stuffed full of such exotic and beautiful treasures!”

The Illustrated Man quirked a brow “And perhaps it is bigger on the inside than out?”

Cordelia chuckled “Well that’s certainly a thought. I’d like to know how you’d pull that off.” she teased.

“Maybe I’ll show you sometime.” He replied “But first, I’d like to hear you sing again.”

“Not to be rude but… but why?” Cordelia questioned “My voice isn’t anything special.”

“Oh, but it is. There’s a yearning in it. There’s beauty in it. I think… I think that it would resonate well with a crowd, don’t you?”

The feeling of pride from before filled her chest. And, yes, yearning. He was right. When she sang, she was almost… crying out for help. Her eyes widened at the realization.

Was her singing a cry for help as much as anything else?

“You’re like a songbird, that is lost. You need a place, don’t you? To belong, but not be caged up in one place?” he put his cup down, and before her eye both cups filled themselves back up. “Go on, it’s safe to drink.” he took a sip of his own for emphasis.

Cordelia took a small sip of her refilled tea before setting the cup back on the saucer, listening to the quiet “tink” as it settled into place.

“What exactly are you offering me?” she asked, her voice soft and tentative.

“I want to offer you a place… and a wish. Any wish you like. I can grant it.”

Cordelia could feel fear pooling in her belly. Something wasn’t right. But as he smiled to her, it began to fade away slowly.

“And what do I have to do?”

Mr. Dark’s lips quirked upward on one side. He stood up, slipping beside Cordelia in one smooth motion. He could, perhaps, reach her with song himself.

♪ “Hey, little songbird, give me a song
I’m a busy man and I can’t stay long…” ♪

Cordelia stiffened as she sat, looking up to him. She remained silent, and he continue. His voice was a low, seductive rumble that reverberated even in the small room.

♪ “Hey, little songbird, cat got your tongue?
Always a pity for one so pretty and young” ♪

He took a breath and shifted to her other side to continue.

♪ “When poverty comes to clip your wings” ♪

Cordelia gulped.

♪ And knock the wind right out of your lungs
Hey, nobody sings on empty... ♪

Cordelia could feel herself shaking, but somehow her mouth still opened in reply.

♪ “Strange is the call of this strange man
I want to fly down and feed at his hand
I want a nice soft place to land…” ♪

She didn’t know where these words were coming from. Her throat clogged with emotion for a moment. Was this really her words? What she wanted?

♪ “I wanna lie down forever” ♪

She stood up and Mr. Dark slipped around to her other side.

“That’s not true, is it dear? Laying down is what you have been doing, for a while now. You’re ready to fight for what you want, aren’t you?” Mr. Dark told more than asked-- he could see the fire in her eyes. She wasn’t defeated. There was something she wanted. Something she needed-- and she would ask for it.

Cordelia’s brow furrowed. That was what she wanted, wasn’t it? To fight? To give it her all?

♪ “Hey, little songbird, you got something fine
You’d shine like a diamond down in the mine” ♪

Cordelia shivered again as she could feel his breath on her neck, gently caressing the feathers there, and lightly brushing her sensitive whiskers.

♪ “And the choice is yours if you’re willing to choose
Seeing as you’ve got nothing to lose” ♪

Cordelia’s eyes drooped, just a little. She felt a little lulled by it all. It sounded right. She didn’t have anything to lose, did she?

♪ “...and I could use a canary.” ♪

Mr. Dark’s concerned smile shifted, just for an instant, into a brilliant grin, as if he were sharing a joke that only he could understand, but it left as quickly as it had come.

Cordelia’s eyes snapped up to his after a moment.

“You need a singer?”

“Why, not just any singer.” Mr. Dark replied “I need you. You’re the only one we need.”

“But… why me?”

“Because you have that fire in you.” Mr. Dark responded, waving a paw in the air in an all-encompassing, dramatic fashion.

“You have a silver-tongue, Mr. Dark. Is this all flattery?”

“None at all, Miss Cordelia. You have untapped potential, and I could help you find it. We just need to strike a deal. You have to have a wish, the wish your heart desires most of all. You have that, don’t you? You know exactly what it is. I need to know it, I need to grant it. And then, only then, can you work with us. You could join us, sing on the move for crowds bigger than you could imagine.”

Cordelia looked deep in throught. She was so unsure. How could he grant a wish? What was it about this man? She flicked her tail as she considered him. Sure, everything seemed magical, but did real magic even exist?

“So what you’re saying is you can grant any wish? What if you can’t grant mine, do I just leave? Just like that?”

“I can grant any wish, dear girl. Anything your heart desires.”

“I… I can’t…”

Mr. Dark held his paw out to her “Just tell me what it is. Please. I want to help.”

“I don’t think… no it’s not…”

“Please.” he pleaded, his eyes shining in anticipation.

Cordelia put her paw into his. She needed something to hold onto, to ground her. Her head was fuzzy from her illness, lack of sleep, and the magic of this place.

“I don’t want to be alone anymore.” Cordelia whimpered out “I don’t want people to leave me, anymore.” she grimaced “But wishing for something… doesn’t make it happen. I’ve wished for this ever since my mother disappeared…”

Mr. Dark grinned, shaking the paw that he held softly before drawing her close to him. He pressed her head gently against his chest as she began to cry. She didn’t even notice the difference as her strings of fate attached themselves to the tattooed man.

“Shhhh, it’ll be alright now.” he told her quietly “You’ll not be alone. You have a place here, with us. And no one you want to stay will ever be able to leave you again.”

Cordelia could barely hear him over her sobs. They wracked her frame as he held her just a little tighter, rubbing soothing circles on her back “My canary, you are among family now. Don’t you feel better?”

And she did feel better. She didn’t feel sick or tired anymore. She was still hungry, but not debilitatingly so. She felt like herself again, as she had before the city. Before the soldiers and the fire and the darkness she had endured.

“How?” her voice was muffled against his chest, but Mr. Dark could still make them out.

“Because you have to be alive for your wish to be granted.”

“But I don’t understand…?”

“Shhh, you will, just rest for now.”

Cordelia started to feel drowsy, she could feel his warm presence lulling her to sleep. She didn’t fight it as her eyes shut and her tears finally stopped.

“Rest, my songbird. When you awaken, you’ll feel more alive than you ever have. You’ll be a part of something greater…” he left her there, laid her gently on his bed to keep her comfortable, before slipping off. He had a show to perform, after all.

“Where am I?”

There was so little light, this couldn’t be the city at night with all it’s artificial lighting.

And Cordelia was warm. Warmer than she had been in a long time, than she could even remember. Had she even ever been this warm? She couldn’t remember, with her thoughts so unclear.

She moved her limbs slowly, only to find a blanket draped across her.

“What could possibly be going on?” She wondered. The last thing she remembered was the carnival…

And then Mr. Dark. The Illustrated Man. He had offered her a job at his carnival, hadn’t he? She couldn’t remember if she said yes or not, but maybe she was still in his wagon.

Except… why would it be so dark then?

She shivered, and it had nothing to do with the cold.

She felt for the edge of the bedding and sat up on the side before standing. As she stood, she brushed a curtain and her balance faltered.

She paused, pondering.

Had there been a curtain in that wagon? She wasn’t sure. Her memories were starting to come back slowly.

“I made a deal with him.” she whispered to no one. “And I fell asleep, didn’t I? But what was the deal?”

She pushed back the curtain and light flooded her senses for a moment. She squinted her eyes as she let them adjust to the surprisingly dim light. It was as if she hadn’t looked to the light in months. She groaned as she sat back on the bedding to let herself reorient and examine the room. Her mind was swimming after the exposure to the light.

The room, she realized, was surprisingly opulent. It most certainly wasn’t the same room she remembered from before, in the wagon that Mr. Dark had lead her to. She studied the grain of the wood on the walls for a moment. It was of a stained, curly maple. It was beautiful, but even its beauty could have easily been overshadowed by the room as a whole. There was a beautiful armoire crafted from a similar wood, with a matching full-body mirror. There were brilliant red and gold tapestries and rugs adorning the walls and floor. There were many antiques-- all unique and beautiful works of art of varying materials including silver and gold. Mysterious, mobile trinkets were scattered about and cast in brass. Even the small jewelry box resting atop the wardrobe was a lavish work of art.

“Where am I?” Cordelia questioned out loud once more. She had never been in a room as beautiful, even Mr. Dark’s paled in comparison.

She stood up slowly, trying to regain her balance. The world shifted in her vision for a moment before once again righting itself. She took a shaky step toward the door set into the wall of the room, taking deep breaths to calm her nerves.

There had to be an explanation for this, didn’t there? Had Mr. Dark put her in a hotel somewhere? But what hotel could be like this? Was this another wagon? If so, why was it so large? And full of such beautiful wonders?

Why were there no windows?

She thought back, remembering that Mr. Dark’s own wagon had seemed so much larger on the inside than the out. Was there some kind of trick, perhaps? Was it the same with this one as well?

And what had that deal been, why couldn’t she remember?

Her paws brushed the doorknob, and she wiggled it to make sure it was unlocked. She wasn’t sure she was ready to leave yet, however. She stood there, staring at the ornately carved door for several minutes as she continued to think.

“I don’t want to be alone anymore.” Cordelia’s own voice seemed to echo in her mind, finally. She remembered this, the deal she had struck. It was coming back in spurts now.

“I don’t want people to leave me anymore.” It was the wish that Mr. Dark had asked her to speak. Her impossible wish. The wish festering deep in her soul, and she had broken down and said it, knowing it couldn’t possibly be a harm.

“But wishing for something doesn’t make it happen.” She could feel a lump in her throat as she backed away from the door, she remembered telling the carnival master those words. She had remembered feeling the all-consuming truth in them. She really did want that wish, more than anything, but it was one thing she knew deep down really couldn’t be granted. It was a fact of life, people would always leave her. Nothing stays the same, everything fades and changes over time. Everyone fades and changes.

“Shhh, it’ll be alright now.” Mr. Dark had told her then, and she remembered feeling relaxed even as she cried against him. “You’ll not be alone.” and then, in that moment, she thought she had really believed him. He had said it with such conviction. As if he knew she would never feel loss again as she had felt. “No one you want to stay will ever be able to leave you again.” what could that have even meant?

And why had he kept calling her a canary?

Oh, that was right, she was to sing at the carnival.

That’s what this was all about, the granting of a wish in exchange for work.

Well, it wasn’t as if she had anywhere else to go. Wish or not, she might as well stay with the carnival. At least she would have a place for a time. That certainly couldn’t be so bad.

She looked to the door one more time.

“A canary…”

She breathed a sigh, and let out a lamenting note. She didn’t even know why she did so, it just seemed to… fit in the moment. She let the note drop and let silence overtake the room again before finally stepping back to the door and turning the knob.

She stepped out of the wagon-- as it had indeed been a wagon-- only to be met with the sights and smells of the carnival. It was light out, early afternoon perhaps. Warm, autumn air fluttered past her as the smell of crisp, decaying leaves and cotton candy found their way to her sensitive nose. Her long, dragon-like whiskers twitched as she took everything in. And her stomach dropped.

Something wasn’t right. She just didn’t know what it was.

“Aye, look, it’s our new little one!” a familiar voice called out. She turned to see a viscet in outlandish clothing. His eyes shone black and red as he grinned to her. His pelt was familiar too…

He was the announcer from before, when she had first come to the carnival. She remembered him disappearing in a puff of smoke before, like magic.

His markings didn’t seem nearly as unnerving, in the daylight, she mused.

“You didn’t put on your outfit! No worries, though! The show won’t be until tomorrow. This is just early setup. Pretty normal, for when we have a new one. Gives you a chance to orient yourself a little."

He smiled brightly as he held out a paw.

“The name’s Bram.” he said “It’s nice to meet you, Cordelia is it?”

Cordelia nodded, not sure else what to say just yet. She took his paw though, giving it a firm shake before dropping it to her side once more.

“You slept through the first town, and the travel to this one. Now that’s not exactly normal, but you’re body still needed to adjust. You were picked up late, and you were given something quite special, I hear.”

What did any of that mean? Body needing adjusting? Being picked up late? Cordelia couldn’t make whiskers or tails of it. Perhaps she wasn’t fully awake yet.

“I can’t wait to hear that voice, G.M. says it’s really something to behold. Oh man, he’s got us all excited about it.” Bram seemed to visibly vibrate with said excitement.

“Oh, Bram, you’re overwhelming her.” a pink-maned female put a paw to his shoulder “She’s just woken up, you can’t over do it like that. Don’t you remember how you were when you woke up?”

Bram’s smile faded “Yeah Juliette, of course I remember, I woke up with one heck of a migraine.” he responded gruffly at the memory. “Didn’t go away for a week, almost. At least I woke up before fall. This poor girl will have to perform tomorrow.”

Juliette smiled to Cordelia, trying to reassure her “Well, you don’t seem to have a headache at least. Are you ok? Do you hurt anywhere?”

Cordelia shook her head “I’m a little dizzy though, and thirsty.” now that she had said it out loud, her thirst seemed to rear up with a vengeance. Her tongue felt like sandpaper. She grimaced.

“Oh dear, of course you are. Hungry too, right?”

Cordelia shook her head. She wasn’t really all that hungry.

Juliette stepped over to Cordelia and wrapped an arm around her “Follow me.” she said “We’ll get you taken care of. And then we’ll worry about your wardrobe. That sound good?”

Cordelia only nodded as she allowed the female to direct her to yet another wagon that when inside was certainly bigger on the inside than the outside.

“How is this even possible?” Cordelia questioned as Juliette began to boil tea “All the wagons, being so much bigger inside?”

“Magic.” Juliette replied with a small giggle “This carnival is magic, isn’t it? It seems so surreal at first, but most of us get so used to it after a while that the rest of the world begins to feel fake. It’s why some of us don’t leave, come winter, and busy ourselves with projects where we park at. I usually stay, myself.”

“So you just… travel around with Mr. Dark and everyone all the time? Even when it’s too cold?”

Juliette nodded.

“And you perform, what, through summer and fall? Or maybe part of spring too?”

“No” Juliette answered “Just through the fall, it’s the only time the magic really blossoms here.” she laughed lightly.

“Ah ha….” Cordelia responded “I think I get it.” she really didn’t, but she figured she would learn soon enough.

Could things really be magic? She wondered Was it really possible? She shook her head of it and focused on the tea that Juliette set in front of her, followed by a bowl of soup she had heated when Cordelia wasn’t paying attention.

“No, it’s fine really, I’m not particularly hungry--”

Juliette smiled “Oh nonsense, I insist. It’s a long time before the meal. Maybe you’re one that doesn’t require food, but even those of us that don’t still feel better after eating.

Don’t require food? Who wouldn’t require food? It made no sense either, but Cordelia simply nodded and took a sip of the tea, thanking the sweet female for her trouble before settling into a silence while they both sipped their tea and Cordelia sipped on her soup as well. She had to admit that it did make her feel a little better, she wasn’t nearly as dizzy now.

“Now that you’re done.” Juliette said several minutes later “Let me help you back to your quarters. We’ll pick an outfit, for now, and if you aren’t fond of what you have we’ll talk to our seamstress. I’m sure she could get something together for you.”

Cordelia followed wordlessly, allowing Juliette even to pick out her outfit when they arrived with little input.

She felt empty as she dressed, and empty as she received Juliette’s praise for her beauty. She was missing something, it didn’t feel quite right, but as they met up with the others she pushed that aside and smiled, greeting everyone she met with gusto. They were all so full of life here. They were beautiful people with smiles and cheer exuding from them, excluding the couple of more… grumpy members that tended to steer clear of the rest. She let everyone else’s excitement fill her, and in truth she was growing more excited about this arrangement. Truth be told, they almost felt like a family. It was as if they all felt connected, even though they all seemed to come from different places and walks of life.

Eventually that empty feeling completely slipped away, filled with the joy she had for the company of her new companions.

As she graced the stage for the first time the following day, taking the microphone into her paws, she felt whole again. As she belted out each note, and the crowd grew quiet with rapt attention, she was filled with happiness and contentment. As the echo of her voice faded from the stage, carried by the wind, the crowd cheered and her heart swelled in response.

Just as they cheered for an encore, she was happy to oblige.

And the following night, she was happy to oblige again.

On the third night, she could even see Mr. Dark watching her, and she was almost happier than before to see him there, smiling with pride at her work.

She was adored-- loved-- by all who would visit the carnival. And when they made their way over to the next town it was much the same. She was thrown roses, offered work from esteemed theaters, offered money, and offered marriages to men of all walks of life-- both human and viscet. And all the while, she grew closer with her new family, rejecting every offer from the strangers as she was content to stay with the carnival.

All during her first fall, she only really questioned how she had fallen asleep during the cusp of winter only to awaken at the beginning of the following fall only once, after a fevered dream late in the night. Even then, she quickly forgot again as she was swept away back the magic of the carnival the following morning.

What was there to question, after all? She was happy, safe, and had the family she always wanted. And even though many of them she knew would leave during the winter, she also knew many would stay… and they would all be back come the next fall.
She was sure of that, though she wasn’t so sure of why she knew that.

[Strudel]

𝘏𝘦𝘺, 𝘓𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘚𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘣𝘪𝘳𝘥
Please click the image below to see the video version. (HD Please)

[Strudel]

𝘐 𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘚𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘺 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘚𝘰𝘭𝘥

Rordan Callaghan hadn’t actually been to the carnival yet. He supposed if anyone important actually knew that, it would seem odd.

Well perhaps not odd because his kind of circles most assuredly did not spend their time with what they simply saw as the “common rabble” being astounded and amused by the simple theatrics that a carnival of all things provided to the working class.

However, considering he had just become a partner in this business venture, one would think he would have at least bothered to see what he was investing himself into.

He hadn’t needed to though, not really.

Rordan had heard whispers even among the upper crust-- it wasn’t unusual for some of the ladies or young gentlemen to sneak off in disguise to see what the fuss was with this every-man’s entertainment. There had even been whispers of a certain young society lady running off to join one certain carnival-- much to her parent’s horror and shame.

There were also… darker whispers. Whispers of power and influence that the young Rordan could only dream of. Whispers of magic that he had no part of, or access too, even though the rest of the world was at his feet with his station in life.

Had it been enough to give up his previous life, to make a deal with the ever-elusive master of the carnival? At first, no. He had no want to track down this man, even with his curiosity.

But questions never stayed with the ones being asked. And it was no surprise, really, when G.M. Dark himself-- the master of the Shadowshow-- had shown up in Rordan’s favorite bar at closing to offer the young man the deal of a lifetime one fateful evening. It was a deal that Rordan would have never even dreamed of. It hadn’t been the same as the carnival master’s usual deals-- he had offered an apprenticeship, and when refused that, an equal partnership. Money had been a given, and it had seemed G.M. cared very little for it. That part of the deal hadn’t been so hard to work out, what had been was the deal for the magic. But the deal had indeed been struck in the end, and Rordan had been satisfied with his end of it.

So, now wrapped in a simple, black-- yet high quality-- cloak and a top hat to match, Rordan Callaghan found himself browsing the carnival for the first time.

Rordan had been warned, before entering, that as a partner some of the magic would no longer work on him-- to protect himself-- but even that aside the place still felt mystical. He could feel the magic still, thrumming through the air of the carnival.

It was no wonder it attracted many visitors… and victims.

There was no place quite as filled at the moment than the stage, though. Rordan supposed that was as well of a place as any to really start. He could feel magic thrumming in the air there, particularly, but it almost seemed to… bounce off of him.

This must be the magic that didn’t so much affect him. Of course, then, he wondered what it did.

As he approached he could hear the beautiful voice of a female reverberating all around, seemingly in tune with the magic spreading over the area.

She sounded… forlorn. And yet, when he stepped into the crowd, everyone seemed to be in a state of bliss as they listened to the somber notes.

Rordan stood tall, his frame trembling only a little as the pure melancholy washed over him in waves. He stood there, rapt, for apparently very different reasons than the smiling faces around him did.

He felt himself shiver as the last words dripped from the singer’s lips. He could feel the tears in his eyes even as those around him began to whistle and shout for an encore. Their paws banged together in a cacophony of claps and as their whistling reverberated.

The female viscet’s eyes met his. He was the only one unmoving in the crowd-- but also the only one moved by the performance in the way that it should have moved someone. He was the only one who had felt her sorrow.

She could almost sense him the the crowd, he thought. She had to have been able to, to pick him out among the masses.

The magic broke all at once as she left the stage, leaving behind only a taste of it on the wind as the crowd clamoured for her to come back. They called out, almost begging for her return until they were all promised she would do another performance once darkness had fallen. But even as the crowd dispersed, Rordan stayed where he was.

“What had that been?” he wondered “What kind of magic was this? And why was she so terribly sad?” not for the first time, Rordan found himself wondering what exactly he had gotten himself into.

“Mr. Callaghan, right?” a female in flashy clothing with a pink mane questioned. He was fairly sure this was the young Juliette that G.M. had told him of. Apparently, she was the young socialite that had joined this carnival, and she loved it most of all.

“Yes, that’s right. Did you… need me?”

Her eyes turned sorrowful as she looked to the stage.

“That was… Cordelia up there. I thought you might like to know. Her music can be quite sad, sometimes. Hearing it… is the only thing that’s made me sad in a very long time. Though, no one else seems to feel that way. Except for most of us, that is.”

Rordan could guess that “most of us” meant the carnival workers.

“She wasn’t always that way. She was so happy here, at first. She felt like she really belonged, and yet…”

Something had obviously happened to this Cordelia here, or she had realized something. Perhaps her wish hadn’t gone quite as well as she hoped.

Rordan already felt terrible for the girl, she was in some kind of pain over something, that much was obvious.

“Where would she be, do you think?” his curiosity got the better of him. He knew he shouldn’t try to find her, he might not hear something that he wanted to hear, but he couldn’t help it.

This carnival was making him impulsive.

“Her wagon is the one with the black door. She might not let you in, boss or not.”

Rordan tipped his hat “Thank you, Miss Juliette. I’ll see myself there.”

Juliette didn’t even question how he had known her name, she just watches as he slipped off, sure that whatever he had to say to Cordelia wouldn’t change a thing. Nothing anyone said, these days, seemed to improve her mood. Not even Mr. Dark seemed to be able to cure her of her crushing depression. It really broke her heart, seeing her friend hurting.

But who knew? Maybe he could somehow turn things around for her. One could hope, anyway.

As Rordan approached the wagon, he could feel a sense of melancholy permeating the area. He didn’t know how this was possibly, without some type of magic, but the air felt thick with it. He gently rapped on the door, but when there was no answer at first he began to knock a little more insistently.

“Come in.” a voice entirely too small and quiet to match that powerhouse of a voice from just minutes ago called out.

Rordan stepped in cautiously only to see… no one there. He frowned a moment before he saw the pile of pillows and blankets in the corner move. He watched as the female viscet from before-- Cordelia-- shifted out of the blanket that had covered her.

“Who are you?” she questioned in that same meek voice he had heard from the other side of the door.

“Ah, right, I’m Rordan Callaghan. You’re Miss Cordelia, correct? It’s quite lovely to meet you.”

Cordelia nodded in response, but didn’t offer up any pleasantries in return.

“So…” Rordan began “You have a beautiful voice.” he offered a compliment-- a pretty genuine one-- as he had nothing else to say to strike up a conversation. In the moment, he couldn’t even quite remember what he was doing there.

She rested her head on the bedding and didn’t respond.

Rordan shifted uncomfortably as he stood there waiting for a response that wasn’t coming. He was fairly sure she was deep in the throes of depression.

He cleared his throat, ready to try again.

“You’re well liked.”

She grumbled in response as she closed her eyes.

“You, ah, are very talented. Your presence on the stage is… phenomenal. And your vocals are so emotional. It was almost like I could feel… your pain.”

This time she snorted, it was an improvement over the grumble, he supposed.

“It was… magical..?” He offered up after a moment, but knew right away that it was very much so the wrong thing to say. Cordelia’s hackles raised as she jerked out of the blanket and stood, an angry frown maring her features.

“Magical?” Cordelia growled, her ears pinned to her head. She continued through clenched teeth “Mr. Callaghan, magic is not something to be proud of. Talent, yes, but not magic.”

Rordan stayed quiet and listened to her.

“You are G.M.’s partner, right? The little rich brat everyone is talking about?”

Rordan could feel his skin crawl and his own hackles raise at her words, but he kept his anger in check to hear what else she had to say, he could always reprimand her later, if need be. He watched her carefully through narrowed eyes.

Cordelia returned the look as she continued speaking “I don’t need pity from you. In fact, you shouldn’t be pitying any of us. What kind of carnival owner are you? Worrying for your freaks-- not very becoming of you or your station.”

Rordan didn’t know what to say to that for a moment, but as she turned around he finally spoke up.

“You don’t get to talk to me like that, Miss Cordelia. You don’t know me.”

“I know enough.” she answered, not bothering to turn around “I don’t know what you thought you could accomplish here, but please leave sir.” the sir came out more condescending than anything.

Rordan’s feathers were ruffled, but he couldn’t leave it at that-- and he wasn’t about to let his emotions get to him. “You really don’t.”

She simply scoffed as she settled back into her bedding, still turned toward the wall.

“What happened to you?” Rordan asked before he could stop himself “What’s made you so horribly bitter?”

Finally, after a long minute’s silence, she finally turned to him to reply.

“Someone who cannot be really loved is bound to be bitter, yes?”

“But everyone did love you!” Rordan couldn’t help but to respond.

Cordelia scoffed and shook her head.

“Love from a stranger is empty. Even a crowd of them.” she responded “And any love I receive is a lie, anyway.”

When he said nothing, Cordelia knew he wanted her to explain.

“Sirens can’t be loved.”

Rordan’s eyes widened, and he took an involuntary step backward.

Cordelia chuckled as she watch him back away, obviously scared of the very idea of her. She was a myth now, right? What she was, was associated with death and ruin.
Now that she thought about it, that actually seemed pretty fitting all things considered.

“What, you’re afraid now, sir?” Cordelia said, chuckling when she saw the look on his face as she stood up and took a step toward him. She continued to silently step closer, and he kept stepping back until his mane brushed the far wall of the admittedly large wagon.

“Are you scared I’ll catch you and drown you?” she said with a false-grin on “In my tears, perhaps? Poetic, but messy, I assure you. Certainly not practical.” she laughed as he paled. “Afraid my touch will put you under a spell?” she ran her paw through the fur of his cheek before dropping it once more “Terror-stricken, aren’t you, that I’ll lure you with my beauty and voice? That I’ll lead you to rot and ruin?”

Cordelia stepped back, laughing without humor.

“You’re a foolish man. You don’t even know what you’re getting into here.” she informed him, taking another step back so that he could breathe again. She didn’t want to torture the poor man.

“Your contract with Mr. Dark is more effective than either lyre-playing or beeswax to drown out the magic. What you hear is what is left with the magic absent-- my voice.”

Rordan visibly relaxed at her words. He had known this, but he hadn’t exactly been rational moments before. He scolded himself inwardly at his reaction. Surely he should have been able to stay more level-headed.

“Other workers, most of them, are immune. G.M. is immune. Everyone else? The roaring crowds and admirers? Not so much.”

Rordan didn’t move, but that was more for caution of scaring her off now than fear of her powers, now that he knew for sure they didn’t affect him.

“Miss Cordelia… I don’t understand.” he finally said as she turned away from him, focusing on making tea “Isn’t that what you wanted?” she had to have wanted to be loved for her music, did it really matter how? It had to have been her fault, for asking for it.

“Adoration was not my wish.” she replied, stiffening at the mere implication of his words “It’s empty and useless for the soul. Do you have any more idiotic questions, or was that the last of them?”

Rordan was struck silent. He had guessed wrong, he supposed he should have been more careful with his assumptions.

“What was it then, that you wished for.”

Cordelia grew quiet again, even staying silent as the teapot began to whistle. She poured two cups, setting them down on her ornate table before sitting in front of one of them. After a moment Rordan joined her.

“The beauty of the wish, Mr. Callaghan, is that I never have to say.” she took a sip of her tea, and Rordan watched as her eyes fell back into the sadness he had witnessed on the stage. She seemed so terribly empty in that moment, with none of the fire he had witnessed as she had cornered him just minutes before.

They sipped in silence, and when they were done Cordelia refilled them. They did this twice before she spoke again.

“I was foolish, making the wish I did. I didn’t know what was going to happen, I just didn’t want to be alone anymore. I was hungry. Physically hungry, starving even, but I was hungry most of all for love. Any kind of love. I was so lonely, and so empty. I’m still empty, but I’m not alone, anyway. I have a family here, but it’s not enough. I know they’re here because they have to be, not because they want to be. All but Juliette, anyway. They make the best of it here, but none of us are here for choice, not really, most of us had no other choice.”

She sipped her tea, remaining silent for a few minutes again until she felt like adding to it.

“Knowing what I know, I think I would have rather starved to death.”

“So you wished for love, but can’t have what you consider love, so you would rather have given up on life?”

The candles in the room flickered as if a breeze hit them, although there was no window open, and no air blowing through the wagon.

“I made a wish when I was starved and desperate, when I was sick and quite possibly dying. I was barely conscious.” Cordelia defended. “But it makes no difference, it was my decision.” she paused for a few seconds “‘I don’t want to be alone anymore.’ I remember the wish well, even though I hardly remember anything else. Maybe that’s just part of the contract. ‘I don’t want people to leave me, anymore.’ How could I have know that to get that, I’d have to take the free-will of others?”

When Rordan didn’t speak she continued.

“Maybe if I had believed in the wish, I would have thought to word it more carefully. Or perhaps I would have realized the only way to keep someone with you as your choice was to take theirs away. I just… I didn’t know.” she frowned as she set her cup aside “I do now, of course. But what’s done is done.”

She stood, not even looking to Rordan as he did the same.

“Mr. Callaghan. I have a performance soon.” and she did, it wasn’t just to rid herself of his company. “I appreciate your curiosity.” she didn’t know if that was a lie or not “But I ask for your discretion. And I ask you not to visit again, unless we have business to discuss. Four years ago I made my choice, and while I might regret it, it was still my choice to make. And I am afraid it’s not really your business. Thank you, for your considerations, for listening to me, but I don’t want to repeat this, you understand?”

Rordan nodded and tipped his hat as he bowed.

“Of course.” he responded “I understand. Thank you for your hospitality, and your patience. I may watch your performance, if that would be alright.”

Cordelia gave a single nod, and Rodan left. She looked to herself in the full-body mirror. She grimaced as she looked over her perfect features-- no longer surprised to see that there wasn’t a feather out of place. There hadn’t been since that fateful autumn she had awoken in this very wagon. She didn’t even need to smooth out her clothing before stepping out.

Sirens were always perfect, Mr. Dark had told her when she had asked him last year about it as she had confronted him finally-- only after depression had plagued her since the winter. Sirens, he had said, never had to let anyone go if they didn’t want. They were forever flawless in their beauty and their voice. A siren never had to let anything slip from her grasp. He told her that they were immortal, forever young, and forever wanting what they couldn’t have.

“Learn to live with it, my songbird.” had been his advice “You’ll be happier when you accept it. You won’t ever completely fill in the void, but neither can a mortal. Be happy for what you have, enjoy your new family. Enjoy your love. Enjoy your songs, as you always have. You are a beautiful, flawless canary. Only singing can fill you.”

That had been all he had to say, and it wasn’t enough. Nothing was enough to fill this void, that he had right. Singing definitely didn’t fill it either, that much had been a lie but when Cordelia took the stage again, she liked to pretend it did. Even for a song, a moment, she could pretend that pouring her emotions into her song was enough to fill some of it.

Rordan watched as she took the stage again. He watched as she closed her eyes, swaying gently to the music in a way that was seductive-- which he was entirely sure she didn’t realize that it was. He watched as she opened her mouth and a mournful voice filled the area, drowning out the cheers for her quickly.

He watched, quietly, as her tears dripped down onto the stage.

By the end of the song, he realized she was both right and wrong.

She couldn’t lure him with her music, that was true indeed, but he was almost entirely certain she could have drowned him in her tears after all.

[Strudel]

𝘞𝘢𝘺𝘧𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳

Click for link to the video. 1080p please <3

Individual frames can be found here.

[Strudel]

𝘐 𝘒𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘜𝘱 𝘛𝘰 𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘢𝘮𝘦

“Women like clothes, yes?” Rordan questioned Juliette. While he found her exhausting most days since he had begun travelling with the carnival the previous autumn, they had still become friendly enough in that time. Though he usually needed a rest from all manner of people after being subjected to her exuberant personality for longer than a few minutes at a time.

“Yes?” Juliette tilted her head “Yes. Women love clothes. Jewelry too, if you were wondering.” Suddenly she cracked a smile and began to giggle “Why, boss, are you buying for a special someone?”

Rordan shook his head “Just buying for a friend.” he responded “Hoping to cheer her up. It seemed to always work on high-society girls. They always seem to enjoy gifts, no matter what mood they’re in or how angry they were with you.”

Juliette laughed softly before shaking her head in amusement “Most women do enjoy nice gifts.” she admitted “But it really depends. If a woman is mad at you in particular, for example, that can make smoothing it out with gifts a little harder-- sometimes impossible.” she smirked “You’re not going around breaking girls’ hearts now, are you?”

“No, of course not.” he scoffed “Not everything revolves around matters of the heart, I’ll have you know.”

“So you say…” she mumbled, but when asked to repeat herself simply shook her head.

“So, you said clothing and jewelry?” Rordan cleared his throat, ready to get back to the topic at hand.

“Just… start with a small gift.” Juliette suggested “Perhaps a lovely scarf in her favorite color, and maybe chocolates to accompany the gift. Chocolates usually help cheer any woman. Women-- by some predetermined set of rules-- universally adore chocolate.”

Rordan let out a small laugh in response “I would say you can’t possibly be right about that, but I’ve not met a woman yet who didn’t like chocolate either.” he paused a moment “By any chance… do you happen to know Cordelia’s favorite color?”

Juliette blinked in surprise “C-cordelia..?” she responded, shocked by the particular young woman he had named. “Ah… green I think?” for once she wasn’t smiling. She was far too dumbstruck to jab, joke, or even grin.

“Ah, excellent. And her favorite material?”

“What?”

“Clothing material.” he specified “Like… cashmere, cotton, flax, wool?” he tilted his head “If you know it, I mean.”

Juliette pursed her lips “...Silk?” she was fairly sure, anyway.

“And… chocolates?”

“Wha-- er, I don’t know?”

Rordan shrugged “I’ll buy an assortment. That should cover it. Thank you, Juliette, for your help.”

Juliette blinked as she watched Rordan slip off into the town they were set up at for the time.

“What… what just happened?” she grimaced as she thought about how well Cordelia would take to this surprise “Oh dear, something tells me that this won’t end well.”

Cordelia lounged in her bedding-- which was really no more than blankets and pillows thrown in a corner-- and settled into her covers to rest. As always in the fall, her rest was short lived, and soon she found herself crawling out of the depths of her cocoon to debate eating something (decide not to) and head off to the stage for her first performance of the evening. She never did more than a couple of them a night, but around the stage was always ridiculously packed. There were several performers that were well-liked in the carnival and drew large crowds, and she knew that, but it seemed her show caught the attention of most. Not that it had anything to do with her actual skill, she lamented, but it was the truth nonetheless.

As always she put her heart into her performance, laying her soul bare for no one at all to see-- because no one there seemed to grasp the agony she felt and poured out to them. No one had in a long time, and the other carnival workers had long since taken to avoiding her shows for fear of souring their own moods.

This of course didn’t help Cordelia’s mood. Which, at this point, the needle seemed to stick steadfast to “melancholy and woe” these days.

Still, she would perform as she was instructed to, never missing a show even in the pit of her despair. She would still sign autographs, still make appearances when told, and still sing as if her projected voice was the only thing holding her to this mortal plane.

Perhaps it was.

Most of her days, and her performances, ran together. She hardly knew one day from the next now, and she never remembered to take care of herself. Of course, as a siren, she was beautiful whether she took care of herself or not. Which perhaps most people would appreciate, but it only ever served to sour Cordelia’s mood further.

It was pretty obvious that she was on a downward spiral, not that her crowds of admirers noticed.

Being a siren was lonely. It wasn’t as if anyone could really relate. Once the newness had worn off, and Cordelia had really realized what had really happened, it had been so easy to fall into a state of constant depression.

Cordelia ended this particular performance with a song she had been debating singing for a while, but had been too afraid to sing previously. Even thinking of it now it made her heart race in ways it hadn’t done in years. As she gripped the microphone, and began to sing, she could feel sweat practically coating her. Even so, there was a look of defiance in her eyes as she opened her mouth to sing.

The song was innocent enough, starting out.

♪ We built a mighty ship
We set her on the sea
Standing on that mighty ship
Twenty men and me ♪

But as the song progressed after the first two verses, she began to sing an eerie non-lexical vocalization that were her audience not practically hypnotized, they might have associate to siren’s song. Even as her voice seemed to mystically echo itself, there was no reaction that was any different, and so she simply continued the song.

♪ From my hammock I rose up
I pulled on my woolen socks
And I bent my ear to listen
To the voices on the rocks ♪

She had lost all her nerves about her song choice by the time she sung the next to last verse.

♪ "Clog your ears!" cried the captain
"Cast your eyes down to the floor"
But no order could restrain me
From the voices on the shore ♪

She did finish the last verse, her voice strong with only a touch of her usual forlorn tone. She simply shook her head at the crowd as she departed the stage.

She had been afraid for no reason at all. She might as well have been shouting into the void, for what the song had accomplished. It wasn’t enough to point their minds in the direction. She would probably have needed to scream “I am a siren!” into the microphone for them to understand. Then again, perhaps even that wouldn’t have been enough.

Now that she thought of it, it probably wouldn’t have been.

She passed by the back of the big tent to avoid the crowds of admirers on the way to her wagon, but she froze as she heard a voice behind her.

“So, your little act of rebellion back there, was it as satisfying as you thought it would be?”

The feathers on her back stood on end as she was frozen in place. She could feel the gooseflesh under her fur.

“Do you feel better now?” the familiar voice spoke as he stepped up beside her, and then in front of her so that she had no choice but to face toward him.

“Are you that miserable here that you want to risk angering me? Because you will have to try to find another way, if so. Trying to hint at what you are by singing it? It’s not going to work for anyone but someone under my contact. And most of them have figured that out by now, anyway. Even if they haven’t, it’s not like they’ll mind. Your powers don’t work on them.” The man speaking, the master of the carnival-- Mr. Dark, sighed “Can’t you at least try to come to terms with it? You’re not doing yourself any favors here. You’re only hurting yourself, staying miserable.”

Cordelia fought back the urge to bare her teeth. She took a breath after a moment, and looked down to the ground so that she would not have to look into his golden eyes.

“I wasn’t thinking…” she mumbled in response.

“What was that?”

“I wasn’t thinking.” she responded quickly, a little louder than before. “And I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

Mr. Dark shook his head.

“Sing it as often as you like, it’s a beautiful song. It’s a perfect song for you, actually.” he patted her head “And there’s no need to lie to me, you aren’t in any trouble. It was a small, harmless act of rebellion, right? I just hope it made you feel a little better. Did it?”

Cordelia shook her head.

“Well that’s a shame.” he sighed and ruffled her mane before lifting his paw away once more “If you can think of something that will, let me know. If I can help, I will.”

He waited for Cordelia to nod before slipping away and wishing her a good night.

It still took Cordelia several minute to move forward, she had to wait until her fear was back in check before she dared to head back to her wagon.

In truth, she knew she shouldn’t be afraid of Mr. Dark. Despite everything, he had treated her well. He had only given her what she needed to achieve her wish, but it had cost her so much in the end. Just as the tale of a genie in a lamp suggests, wishes often did not go the way you envisioned them. She only had herself to blame. And yet Mr. Dark still made her uneasy.

Of course, the thoughts of breaking her contract made her uneasy too, even if sometimes she almost wishes she could break it and free herself.

And so as she walked the last bit toward her wagon, she found herself quietly singing to another song. Even as miserable as being a literal siren made her, she found solace in singing-- especially to herself. Without music, she didn’t think she could have made it this long.

♪ In the meantime I'll be waiting
For twenty years, and twenty more
I'll be praying for redemption-- ♪

She cut off the singing as she approached her wagon. She shifted from foot to foot carefully as she stepped around the bouquets of flowers lining her way. She nearly slipped on a letter that fluttered out of her door as she opened it.

She had long since started ignoring the love letters and presents left for her-- the flowers scattered throughout her wagon never actually died and need replacing anyway curiously enough. She was used to all the gifts, and cared very little for them.

At least the carnival sells a lot of flowers that way. She thought bitterly as she closed the door behind her.

Inside though, on her little tea table with a still-warm cup of tea set beside it (tea also never got cold in the wagon) were two boxes stacked on top of each other.

Cordelia looked to the boxes in utter confusion.

How did someone get in here?

Again, she was certainly used to admirers, but not just anyone could have opened this wagon. The list of people who could was fairly short.

Of course, there was one person on that list that had stopped her not so long ago.

But why would Mr. Dark leave her something?

She shook her head and stepped over to the boxes. She was fairly certain he wouldn’t have.

Does that mean I have an admirer now, among the workers?

She certainly hoped not. With a deep breath she opened the first box, only to find a beautiful green, silk scarf resting in it. It was beautiful, not something you could buy in the carnival for sure. Her eyes lit up for only a moment as she felt of the material before frowning and placing it back in the box. No way was she keeping it.

She opened the second box, hoping for a note. Inside it were exquisite chocolates of varying shapes and flavors. She plucked one out of the box, considering it a moment before popping it into her mouth. For half a second, she also considered keeping the chocolates, but she shook her head of that and only grabbed… one or two more before placing the lid back on it and setting it on top of the scarf’s box. She popped another chocolate in her mouth and her lips quirked up into a grin at the flavor.

“Ah!”

The note had been under the box of chocolates. It was a simple note, on elegant cardstock. On the front of the card her name was written in calligraphy, and on the back side was a message.

𝐼 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝑔𝒾𝒻𝓉 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝑒𝓁𝓁, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓈 𝒶𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝒸𝒽𝑒𝑒𝓇.
-- 𝑅𝑜𝓇𝒹𝒶𝓃 𝐹. 𝒞𝒶𝓁𝓁𝒶𝑔𝒽𝒶𝓃

“Callaghan!? Mr. Callaghan is an admirer?!”

Cordelia paled as she looked over the note one more time. The letters had been so carefully written with a quill and ink. She blinked and looked back at the boxes for a moment before setting the note on top of them.

“Well, what am I supposed to do with this applesauce*?” Cordelia frowned to the boxes again “What’s he got to go all on the make** for anyways? It’s not like I gussy up any more than the other gals. I’m not even nice to him, like Juliette is.”

Cordelia huffed as she considered her options.

“What a soppy date*** he must be, sending me these things without asking about it first.” It didn’t seem like him, but it wasn’t as if she knew him well. She sighed.

“Well, I suppose I’ll have to return these things, I don’t want to give him the wrong impression. I’m certainly not interested.” it was a shame, she thought, the chocolates were quite good.

“Maybe I could just… keep the chocolates…” she shook her head of that “No, bad idea. He’d just think I didn’t like the scarf if I do that.” she really wishes she hadn’t tried the chocolates now.

“Should I leave a note with it?” she considered this for a few minutes before deciding against it. She left out and placed both gifts on his wagon steps before running back to the stage for her last performance of the night.

*Nonsense | **Flirting/advances | ***sentimental and foolish person

“Juliette!”

The young female cringed as she heard Rordan’s voice call her name the following day. They were packing up, ready to head to the next place on their list, and she didn’t exactly have time to stop and talk, at least not if it was about what she thought it was about. Usually she loved talking, but this conversation might be a long and unhappy one, if things went about the way she thought it would.

Still, she turned and replied “Yes?”

Rordan caught up with her, only a little winded after having run after her.

“I don’t think she liked her gifts.” he said, only panting a little still “She didn’t look happier at her second show, and she returned them both. At first, I thought maybe she didn’t like chocolate, so I thought that was it, but she ate a few of those before returning the gifts. Maybe she doesn’t care for gifts?”

“Did you just leave them in her wagon with a note?” Juliette lifted an eyebrow.

“Well, yes, I’m a busy man. I couldn’t very well wait for her to come back.”

“Then that’s probably why.” she responded “You invaded her space without her there.” she paused a moment before asking “What did the note say, exactly?”

“I wished her cheer, and said that I hope the gift finds her well.” Rordan replied after thinking about it a moment.

Juliette rubbed her eyes “Yes, I was afraid it was something like that. She’s rejecting you, that’s why she returned the gifts.”

“Rejecting..?” he tilted his head.

Juliette sighed “She thinks you were courting her. That you are an admirer. I’d almost bet on it.” she grinned after a moment “Although, she did eat some chocolates first. Maybe it took her some time to decide to reject you. Maybe you’d have a shot at her, if you kept trying.”

Rordan visibly paled at her words.

“She thinks…? But I-! I didn’t mean-!” he’s quite flustered as he fumbled through his words “I don’t-! I mean, you know I don’t-!” he grimaced and took a shaky breath “Do you really think that I gave her that impression? And why would you even say something like that, I’m not going to try to court her!”

Juliette chuckled softly “Oh calm down, I know you won’t court her. I’m just teasing you, boss. Take a breath.” he did “Ok, now listen. Just try something else. Give it to her, and explain you simply were trying to cheer her up, that the gift is a professional courtesy, and nothing more.”

Rordan nodded, that made sense.

“And be sure not to try to touch her when you give it to her.” she furrowed her brow as she thought “And don’t bring up the misunderstanding. Don’t hint to it. Just say that you understand she didn’t care for the last gifts or something of the like, and that you hope these are more to her liking.”

Rordan thanked her and slipped off again, leaving Juliette to start working again, but as she did she couldn’t help but to think I really hope he doesn’t make it worse, somehow.

This time there were flowers and packaged tea cookies on her tea table as Cordelia entered her wagon. Her mouth quirked up in a grin.

“The sop didn’t really get the message, did he?” she sighed as she stepped over to the table. There was the same kind of card from before, her name on the front and a note on the back.

𝐼 𝒶𝓂 𝓈𝑜𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓁𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝑔𝒾𝒻𝓉𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓈𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓈𝒻𝒶𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃. 𝐼 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓈𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔. 𝐼 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝒾𝒸𝑒𝒹 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓈𝑒𝑒𝓂𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒻𝓁𝑜𝓌𝑒𝓇𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝑒𝒶, 𝒾𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒽𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝒾𝓃𝒹𝒾𝒸𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃. 𝒫𝑒𝓇𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓈𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓉𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒷𝑒 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒𝓁𝓎 𝓉𝑜 𝒾𝓂𝓅𝓇𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓈𝓅𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓉𝓈. 𝐼 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒽 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓈𝓈, 𝒶𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝑒𝓂𝓅𝓁𝑜𝓎𝑒𝓇 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹.

𝒲𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝒷𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝓇𝑒𝑔𝒶𝓇𝒹𝓈,
𝑅𝑜𝓇𝒹𝒶𝓃 𝐹. 𝒞𝒶𝓁𝓁𝒶𝑔𝒽𝒶𝓃

Cordelia tried one of the cookies. They were quite good, and would indeed go well with tea. She was going to keep those, this time, regardless. He hadn’t gotten the message the first time when she had returned it all, so she supposed it didn’t matter if she kept them.

Of course that was just an excuse, she really just wanted to keep them.

She smelled the flowers, not that she would keep those-- she certainly didn’t want him getting the wrong impression here-- before sighing to herself.

“He really is trying to be sweet, if a little pushy here.” she frowned “and… rather presumptuous. I don’t remember becoming his friend…” wishful thinking, she assumed. She shrugged and slipped off to return the flowers.

“She didn’t like the flowers I suppose, though she must have liked the tea cookies. She kept those.”

Seriously? He gave her flowers? Juliette thought as she sat beside him, the fire nearly blinding her from everything around them in the darkness.

“Please tell me you didn’t leave another note.”

“I had to!” Rordan defended “I couldn’t very well wait for her in the wagon. That would have further invaded her space! And I had to meet with G.M. Plus you said I shouldn’t touch her, and leaving a note meant I wouldn’t accidentally do so.”

Juliette shook her head at the man before her. She wondered how he could have become so hopeless. “So what did the note say this time?”

“Well.” he pulled out a piece of paper “I have basically what I put here, a kind of draft, before writing it on the cardstock.”

Juliette looked it over.

“Your writing is prettier than mine, even your draft is impeccable.” she shook her head as she continued to look over the note. “You do realize you made it sound like you were looking through her things, right?” she looked up to him “And that you declared yourself her friend?”

Rordan’s ears lowered as his face heated.

“Damnation.” he grimaced “I did, didn’t I? I really blundered this one.”

Juliette shook her head and handed him back his draft.

“Now this time.” she instructed him “Do not leave a note. Meet her in person. Give her a gift-- no flowers this time-- and explain that you aren’t attaching strings to these gifts. You sincerely just want her to cheer up, and have no romantic inclinations in the slightest for her. Can you do that? In some hopefully, not awkward way?” the last part she doubted.

“What should I say, then?”

Juliette shook her head. Hopeless. She thought as she mulled over what would be best.

“I think I should write it down for you, so you can look back over it in case you forget. Go on for a while, and meet me in my wagon in… a half hours’ time. That should give me the time I need.”

The first show of this new stop is, unsurprisingly, normal. A large crowd as always, and no risky song choices this time. Cordelia settles for old favorites as a comfort and for precaution. Besides, Mr. Dark was right, it wasn’t going to make a difference anyway.

Cordelia steps off of the stage, only thoughts of her warm tea waiting on her forced her to make the trek back to her wagon-- it was further away from the stage this time. She did wonder if Mr. Dark did that on purpose to punish her, but she shook that thought from her mind. Mr. Dark wasn’t what you would call nice, but he wasn’t really petty either. He seemed… above that.

She had lost herself in her thoughts as she approached her wagon, only to find her steps nearly bare for once. It seemed all of the gifts had been thrown in the garbage beside her wagon for her. But there was one thing left.

Or, to be exact, a someone left on her steps, holding a something.

Oh, great. Now I won’t be able to avoid him. She thought to herself as she approached apprehensively. She really didn’t want to deal with this right now, she wanted to rest until dark before her second performance.

“Miss Cordelia.” she watched as Rordan Callaghan smiled to her genuinely.

Well, great, now she would feel even worse. He looked so sweet in that moment, his usual distant air and subdued attitude seemed to be absent. Yes, great. She thought And they’ll all blame it on me, if he starts snapping about from being rejected. But it couldn’t be helped, she certainly wasn’t interested in some fleeting romance with anyone, let alone one of her bosses.

At least it’s not G.M. A voice in the back of her mind spoke up. If you have to face one of them, isn’t Rordan Callaghan preferable? She had to admit that voice was right there. The very thought of this kind of attention coming from the dark carnival master ran true chills up her spine. She quickly shoved that thought back in the back of her head with that voice and stuffed metaphorical cotton in it’s mouth.

“Mr. Callaghan.” she said as she approached, speaking first “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” she had to stay civil-- they still had to work together. She couldn’t rudely reject his company, like the first time they had met.

And some part of her, however small, really didn’t want to. Perhaps his recent kindness was starting to get to her. She shoved that thought in the back of her mind as well, and buried it in cotton as he opened her door for her and stepped back out of the way for her to enter.

“I would just like to have a talk with you, I won’t take up much of your time, I promise.”

Cordelia stepped in, resigned to her fate. She slipped over to the small stove top and began a pot of tea. She would need it.

Rordan took a seat as she waved for him to do so, his gifts still clutched in his paws.

The silence was long and palpable as the moments stretched to minutes. It nearly seemed to smother both of them in each others’ nerves. As Cordelia finished with the tea, she turned and carried the pot to the table. After she poured each of them a cup, they both opened their mouths in unison.

“So-”

“I-”

They both chuckled nervously, and Rordan bowed his head.

“After you.”

Cordelia gave him a quiet, thankful smile. It was better to rip it off like a bandage.

That voice came back a moment as she mulled over her words. Are you sure you want to rip it off? Maybe you should consider--. She metaphorically shoved the cotton back in the voice’s mouth and banished it to the corner of her mind once again.

“You are a very kind man.” she began with the intent to let him down easy “And I won’t lie, the gifts have been lovely. Your way of seeking my favor has also been refreshing, bothering to find things I would like and learning about me was more inspired than most. The gifts were thoughtful, and the notes were beautiful. But… while I am fond of you, perhaps quite fond of you.” she didn’t mean to say that bit, that darn voice in her head seemed to be at it again “--I am not looking for a courtship, or a relationship, right now. I’m not in the right place.” she smiled to him, the most genuine smile she had had in a long while, since before Rordan had even met her “I appreciate that you care for me but… I can’t accept your affections, I can’t fully return them.”

Rordan listened carefully, hearing a lot of what he had expected to hear from what Juliette had warned him. Of course, that bit about being “fond of” him was unexpected. His thoughts became a little jumbled at her use of words. What?! He tried not to grimace outwardly Did she just… does she actually view me that way somehow?

Cordelia took a sip of her tea, feeling quite awkward.

He looks like he’s swallowed a lemon. She mused as she watched him try (and fail) to school his features. Poor man, but I tried to let him down easy.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Rordan cleared his throat to speak.

Of course, he had all but forgotten what Juliette had written for him to say, after his mild panic attack back there. He swallowed the lump in his throat best he could, and decided to try to remember what he could and wing the rest.

“Cordelia, you are a wonder young woman…” he began, getting the first part pretty close “And I have the utmost respect for you. You are talented, strong, and beautiful-” wait, he wasn’t supposed to say beautiful. Wrong implications. Curses, he’d have to just try to power through it now, hoping that his slip up didn’t make things more awkward. “-But I’ve known for a very long time you were unhappy. I wanted to find a way to cheer you up, but I’m not very good at these things. I didn’t mean to give you the impression that I was pursuing you romantically, I was simply hoping to brighten up your mood a little. So… friends?”

Rordan held out the gifts, cursing himself inwardly that he had had to make up so much on the spot, having forgotten nearly everything that Juliette had written for him.

Cordelia’s face heated up as she took them from him, dumbstruck. If he hadn’t been trying to woo her, that means he had just been being friendly. And… she had assumed so very wrongly.

Curses. Curses. Curse it all. Cordelia’s face was as hot as fire as she pulled the gifts close to her chest as quickly as possible.

Their paws had brushed, and Rordan lamented that he had broken another rule and accidentally touched her. He decided then, he wasn’t going to go into real details when telling Juliette how this evening had gone.

“I--” Cordelia was pretty speechless. Beyond that, she was terribly embarrassed. She had rejected his kindness, not some advances. And, to top that off, she had told him she was fond of him. Her face heated up as she looked down to the gifts, not knowing what to say. She opened the first of them. It was a beautiful, decorative hair comb with delicate, silver flowers and branches all adorned with small pearls.

It was the most beautiful gift she had ever received. And it wasn’t even from a suitor, but from a friend of all things. Her throat was clogged with emotions she couldn’t swallow down as tears stained her cheeks.

“Oh no, no, please don’t cry! If you don’t like it, I can return it! I’m terribly sorry!”

She shook her head vigorously as she stood up. She set the comb and the other box down before stepping over to him, leaning down, and wrapping him in a hug.

“...Friends.” she finally answered his question “We’re friends, yes.”

Even as surprised as he was, Rordan managed to stand up and embrace her in return.

“Good.” he replied quietly “I think we both could use a friend.” he barely whispered that last part.

Cordelia heard it, but she chose not to reply-- it needed none.

“Now.” Rordan said after releasing her “Your second gift.”

Cordelia wiped away her tears and put the comb in her mane carefully before picking up the second gift. She opened it, and inside the small box was what looked like… business cards? She picked them up-- there were three in total-- and snorted as she read it.

“Spa day?” she tilted her head at him curiously. It was literally just those words, written in his hand, on the card.

He smiled, amused at her confusion. She turned it on the back and read “To redeem your spa day, turn in to Mr. Rordan Callaghan no later than an hour before your first show of the evening.”

She looked up to him again “Ok, I’m lost. What does this mean?”

Rordan chuckled softly “If you’re having a rough day, and need a night off, you just bring that to me and I’ll cancel your shows for that evening. Each card is good for one day of shows. After they’re used up though, that’s it. You won’t get any more.” he paused “It would also be best if you never used two in one town, just to stay on Mr. Dark’s good graces.”

Cordelia opened her mouth to question that, but Rordan grinned.

“Cleared it with G.M. already, nothing to worry about there.”

Cordelia put the box down and wrapped him in another hug.

“Thank you.”

Cordelia didn’t even have to consider using a card for that night, she felt more light-hearted than she could remember feeling.

It showed in her work, she belted out beautiful and light-hearted tunes for her sets. She stayed behind, signing autographs for the crowds even.

Most telling of all, her co-workers all took turns to watch her sing, for the first time in years. Everyone could sense something different.

Cordelia wasn’t healed, no that would take time, but the darkness was at bay.
Maybe she wouldn’t be whole, maybe Mr. Dark was right and she would never completely fill the void, but she didn’t have to live in despair-- and tonight was the first step of her journey toward a better, happier self.

[Strudel]

𝘋𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘉𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘚𝘦𝘢 𝘉𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘔𝘦

Cordelia held a card out to Rordan and all he could do was chuckle and take the card in his paw.

“Well now, and here I thought you would never actually hand one of these in.” the card read “Spa Day” but both of them knew that wasn’t what it really was-- it was a gift from Rordan almost two years ago now that allowed her to skip out on work, free of consequence, for a singular evening. She hadn’t decided to use one yet, at least not until now. When Rordan asked before, she said when she considered using one she always questioned if she truly thought this was as bad as it got-- if this was the night she couldn’t possibly bear performing-- and that her answer was always no. She was all smiles now, though, so why was today the day she thought she couldn’t bear?

“Tonight is important.” was all Cordelia responded as she stepped out of the way to reveal Juliette behind her.

Juliette held out a similar card out to him. It was one of the three he had given Cordelia. He was confused even more by this. Sure, he hadn’t said that she couldn’t give one of the free passes away to another, but why would she? And to Juliette of all people, who didn’t just love performing, but breathed it in like air? This didn’t make any sense.

“I don’t… I don’t understand..?” Rordan finally eked out as he took the card from Juliette “Why--?”

Cordelia smirked “Check your hat.”

“My… my hat?”

“Yes, your top hat. Check it.”

He pulled the top hat off of his head, and sure enough the third card was tucked into the ribbon of his hat.

How did it get there without him noticing? He had no clue but he pulled the card out a replaced the hat back on his head before looking to Cordelia again, his head tilted in confusion.

“I… still don’t get it?”

“We, us three, we all have somewhere to be. And we won’t be back until tomorrow afternoon. We’re all taking the night off.”

“But G.M. will never--”

“It’s already been cleared by him.” Cordelia responded quickly “I’ve got everything together that we need, and my wagon is still drawn.” she grinned “Just bring anything you think you might need for an overnight trip, and we’ll be on our way.”

Rordan pocketed the cards and slipped off quickly to get what he thought he might need while the girls headed over to Cordelia’s wagon ahead of him.

By the time he arrived the girls were inside and ready to go. There was a pot of tea ready for them all, and a tray of cookies for the ride. He smiled-- something that was a bit rare for him-- as he settled into her cushions “So are you going to tell me what we’re up to, Cordelia, or is this going to be some kind of surprise?”

Cordelia teased him a little, acting as if she might not tell him as the wagon began to move. For most people, the horse moving the wagon on its own would have really startled, but that was just normal for the carnival horses, they simply didn’t have to be guided if you told them a destination. This was just commonplace now.

Finally, after she had had her fun teasing him, she looked to him seriously. He could sense the change, but he remained quiet to wait for her to speak.

“I told you once that I lived on the road my whole life.” she began, and her certainly recalled that conversation. Juliette nodded to say she remembered it as well “It wasn’t a lie, really, but it also wasn’t the whole truth.” she admitted.

“What do you mean?” Juliette looked surprised at the admission, and her surprise was beginning to morph into curiosity.

Cordelia left her stool and settled into her bedding beside Rordan. It didn’t take long for Juliette to follow so that all three of them were covered in pillows and blankets, close together for what Juliette was calling ‘story time’ in her mind.

“”You both know I grew up on the road, travelling with my mother until she disappeared.” they both nodded “Well” Cordelia continued “Even after my mother was gone, I just fended for myself. That’s true, I wasn’t lying when I said that. I travelled so many places, just looking to find her and trying to survive.”

“That really is awful, I thought so the first time you told me.” Juliette’s eyes became teary “Sorry, continue.”

Cordelia let out a sigh “But there was one place I did settled down at for a while, in my mid to late teenage years.” she admitted “I fell in love there, with a boy that didn’t love me as much as I loved him. He left, and so did I.” she sighed “And I haven’t been back since. We were close by… so…”

“So you wanted to see it again, to try to put some of your hurt to rest?” Rordan guessed.

“Yes.”

“And you needed the support of your friends! Of course we’ll support you!” Juliette practically jumped on top of Cordelia to wrap her in a hug.

“Well, I do of course support you.” Rordan glared only momentarily at Juliette “Though I do appreciate being able to speak for myself.”

“Oh, don’t listen to old grumpy breeches.” Juliette cooed to Cordelia “He’s only jealous that I spoke in support of you first.” she teased.

Cordelia laughed “Now you two, settle down.” she responded “We have a fairly long trip ahead of us, don’t use all your energy now.”

Rordan laughed “Ha! You think she could even scratch the surface on all the energy she carries around?”

Juliette, still hanging from Cordelia’s neck, turned her head just enough to stick her tongue out at Rordan playfully.

“Well” Cordelia spoke with mirth “You don’t exactly have the kind of energy to keep up with her.” she retorted “Besides, our tea is getting cold!” she tried to push off Juliette, but her grip was rather firm.

Cordelia decided that trapeze performers had way too much upper body strength.

“Silly.” Juliette snorted “Tea doesn’t get cold in the wagons, and you know it. Nice try though, but you’re stuck with me.” Juliette only seemed to hold on tighter, making it just a little harder for Cordelia to move at all.

Rordan chuckled at the antics of the two of them as Cordelia began to (fruitlessly) attempt to struggle away. It was a soft, genuine chuckle, something that was also fairly rare for him, but spending time around these two seemed to be changing that a little at a time.

“You could--” Cordelia wheezed out “--Help me, you know!”

“I could…” Rordan continued to chuckle as he responded “But I don’t have the energy to keep up with her, you know.”

Cordelia scrunched her nose in frustration (which was admittedly more cute than anything) and sucked in a breath before slipping downward out of Juliette’s grasp on her own.

“You’re like a snake!” Juliette gasped out as Cordelia slipped out of the bedding and headed for the pot of tea “You just slithered out of my grip like well, a snake. Or… like… an eel, or a cat.” Juliette’s eyes lit with amusement. “Confirmed, Cordy is actually a snake in viscet’s clothing!”

Rordan snorted “If that’s the case, she doesn’t hide it very well. Have you ever seen her tail?”

“Oh, I’ve seen… part of it at a time. It’s impossible to see the whole thing all at once.”

“Oh ha ha you two.” she poured herself a cup and began to sip on the tea. It was, of course, the perfect temperature. “You think you are so funny, but really we know you’re just jealous because my tail is much more unique and majestic than yours could even wish to be.”

Rordan raised a brow “Mine is unique.”

“Yours is bald you mean.” Juliette responded before Cordelia even had a chance to.

Cordelia nearly spat her tea out as she tried not to laugh.

“It’s not bald, Juliette. I just don’t have a tuft.”

“Bald.” Juliette repeated.

Rordan shook his head and stood out of the bedding “Fine, fine, it’s bald. Still more unique than yours is.”

Juliette simply shrugged, more than happy enough with the way she looked. Not have a strange tail certainly didn’t bother her “To be honest, I don’t think I could handle a tail as long as yours Cordy, no offense, but that’s a lot of extra weight to carry around, and I don’t think it would make me particularly good at my job.”

“Hmm, point. I think it would get in the way of your acrobatics.” Cordelia conceded “And… it can be quite annoying. Do you even know how much it gets stepped on?” she eyed Rordan as she spoke.

“Oh, come on Cordelia! That was one time!” Rordan said with a frown plastered on as he poured his tea “And I’ve said I was sorry nearly twenty times by now.”

Juliette chuckled “I’ve stepped on her tail way more than that, she’s just trying to get a rise out of you.”

“Definitely working, too.” Cordelia chuckled “Sorry, it’s just too funny to see your flustered. I’ll stop.”

“She’ll stop, today. She means for today.” Juliette made sure to specify “I’m sure you’ll hear it another day.”

Much of their ride was like this, intermingled with some more quiet, peaceful moments. They ate only the one time around lunch. By the time they might have stopped long enough to cook an evening meal, they were nearly at their destination.

Soon after, they topped a hill, and the wagon finally stopped at a plot on the outside of a small town. This town was too small for the carnival to take interest in, but it was important for Cordelia.

“So this is the place? But why did we stop on this plot?” Juliette questioned.

Cordelia stepped out of the wagon silently as she surveyed the area.

The ash was gone, after all these years, though some of the ground was still barren. There was some wood, here and there, that hadn’t burned fully sticking out of the ground in seemingly random places, and so much of the roof had simply collapsed into place-- full of scorch marks but not burned to ambers.

“This was my home.” she finally responded after a long minute of silence. By then, the other two had climbed out of the wagon and joined her.

“Who could have done this?” Juliette whispered “That’s horrible. Or, do you think, it was some kind of accident?”

Cordelia shook her head, but didn’t speak. She was taking a moment to take it in.

“You did it yourself, didn’t you? So that you wouldn’t have something to pull you back here.”

Cordelia nodded and looked to Rordan “You’re right.” she responded “I didn’t want the temptation to drag me back here, but I don’t think it would have. It was too painful to come back. I really did love him.”

“Do you still love him now?” Juliette questioned.

“No.” Cordelia said, shaking her head “I wonder about him sometimes, and I care about him, but I’m not in love with him. Haven’t been in a long time, I don’t think.” though she wasn’t quite sure when that changed.

“Why, then, did you want to come back here? If your home is gone, and you don’t love him anymore, why would you want to face this place? Why do you want to show us?”

“I wanted to spend time with you two, away from the carnival. And… I didn’t want to come here alone.” Cordelia answered as she shuffled her feet “But I did feel like I had to come, for that closure.” she smiled lightly as the sun began to set “Here, help me gather some wood. We’ll make a fire, to make some stew. I have what we need. And then, before we rest for the night, I have one more thing that I want to do.” she didn’t say what that thing was, but neither pried. They’d know soon enough.

The sun had long since set, and night had fallen, before they were completely done with their meal. It was a peaceful, comfortable meal between the friends, but after the clean up Juliette was too curious to stay calm any longer.

“So the thing.” she said “The thing you were going to do. Can we see now?”

Cordelia chuckled “It’s not all that interesting.” she explained “But come on, and bring that shovel right there, will you?”

Juliette turned to see that, indeed, there was a shovel now leaned against the wagon. She hefted it up, and followed after Cordelia. Rordan followed without question.

They were only a short distance from the remains of the house when Cordelia stopped and held her hand out for the shovel. As the spade of the shovel struck the earth, Rordan offered to take over for her but she simply declined and kept digging.

The box wasn’t buried very deep, it only took a few minutes to get it uncovered with the shovel. When she pulled it out of the ground, the other two looked confused.

It was a plain box, no embellishments, no adornment. It was just a simply crafted box. She sat on her haunches, and the other two followed suit beside her.

She lifted the lid up to show a frayed, violet piece of cloth. They still didn’t question as she plucked the cloth up. The breathed a sigh as she opened up the cloth to show the locket.

“Was that from… him?” Juliette questioned in a whisper.

“Yes.” Cordelia nodded “It was. And the cloth comes from my mother. It was the last thing I owned of hers. I wasn’t sure I wanted it anymore, but here I am now, coming back for it.” she shook her head “I still never found her, I don’t think I ever will.” she chewed on her lip a moment “I don’t think she left me on purpose, I have to believe something stopped her from returning. If so, she’s…”

Rordan put an arm around her shoulder as he scooted closer “You don’t have to say it. It’s ok, not knowing.It’s even ok not to speculate.” he smiled sadly to her “But….” he paused a moment “But looking is ok too, and maybe if you want to at some point, we can help you.”

Cordelia looked to him with tears in her eyes about the time that Juliette thought it was appropriate to fling herself at the both of them and wrap them up in a hug.

“That’s so sweet Ro!” Juliette squealed as she squeezed the both of them. They all landed together on the ground in a dogpile. “And of course I would want to help too!”

Cordelia chuckled at her two friends “Yeah, I know. I know you two would, but right now it’s ok. I’m ok.” she paused “Er, but now--”

“--Could you get off of me!” Rordan interrupted as he tried to push Juliette off (unsuccessfully). “Enough of that now, and my name is not Ro.”

Juliette giggled and released them both as she stood up. She brushed herself off a little “Whatever you say, Ro.” she replied with a chuckle. “Now, can you help up Cordy there? I’ll meet you both in the wagon.”

Cordelia shook her head and accepted the paw that Rordan offered to her. “Thank you.” she said as she stood up. Before she could continue walking though, Rordan held out something with his other paw.

“What’s this?” Cordelia asked, tilting her head to get a better look. Her eyes widened as she saw the three “spa day” cards in his paw.

“Today was on me.” Rordan replied “I did come with, after all.” he smiled faintly “And I told you not to spend more than one at any one place anyway.” he held them out patiently as she looked to them.

“Take them, go on.”

Cordelia smiled and took both, wrapping them up with the locket in her mother’s cloth and placing all of it in the box.

“I don’t need them, not anymore.” they had been a lifeline, but she didn’t need that now. She didn’t need something to give her an out in her desperation. She looked back to the hole, and for a moment she considered placing the box back, but she shook her head of that and held the box tightly to her chest “But, I think I’ll hang on to all of this, this time. I have a home to put them in now.”

Maybe it wasn’t a single place to settle down, but it was hers. Best of all, because of her found family, she could truly call it a home.