VIGIL
au, men in black-inspired ━━ character, lexi wang
word count, 1,430 ━━ date written, 14/06/2021 ━━ content warnings, hospitals
“I just got her back. I’m not losing her again.” Lexi’s confession to Ashley replayed in her head again and again. It wasn’t common for distractions to get the better of the stern agent, but Ayla’s condition in hospital kept interrupting her thoughts. Whenever Lexi tried to move forward with the mission, the same image of Ayla in the hospital bed flooded her mind, lying hopeless and unconscious. What if she woke up and Lexi wasn’t by her side? What if she wasn’t there for vital updates from the doctors? What if, in the worst-case scenario, Lexi doesn’t get to say goodbye? An endless trail of questions, and never any answers.
When Ashley finally suggested returning to the hospital, relief washed over Lexi like a wave to the shore. Seldom did Lexi find herself longing to escape the thrilling atmosphere of a field mission. She knew Ashley meant no harm by tearing Lexi away from Ayla’s side—there was nothing she could do, and frankly she needed the distraction. But you can’t combat a distraction with another distraction, which was evident when the only thing that remained in Lexi’s mind was how her partner was doing.
And so she sat vigil by Ayla’s side, who was lying unconscious. At least now she wasn’t connected to a series of wires like two weeks ago. A monotonous beeping of a heart monitor and countless other machines droned through the ward. It was the only thing giving Lexi an ounce of certainty: no matter how unknown she was at the moment, the one thing she positively knew was that the monitors would continue to beep and hum in the background.
Three weeks had passed since Lexi heard her partner’s voice in real-time. Three weeks had passed since Lexi and Ayla were assigned the mission that was more dangerous that OPERA let on. Three weeks had passed since the alien parasite successfully reached Ayla’s central nervous system, provoking the medical-induced coma she was in now. Time was running out; Lexi recalled the doctors sternly saying they would only give it two months at the absolute maximum. Though Lexi was now extremely conscious of what the time was and how fast it was passing. Every minute felt like an hour, and still Ayla showed no signs of stirring. Not a single flinch or squeeze of Lexi’s hand as she held it tight. The only movement was the steady rise and fall of her chest—the only sign that Ayla was still alive and fighting.
Ayla was more than capable, and Lexi knew her partner was one to put up a fight, but now it felt different. With a parasitic entity that attacks the brain, Ayla was rendered defenceless, lying motionless in the hospital bed. Was she even aware of where she was? Was she aware of what happened to her? Was she dreaming right now?
Hopeless desperation always found its way back to Lexi in the end. She longed for nothing more than to see Ayla’s eyes fly open and for her to come out with one of her silly, witty one-liners as she stirred. This time, Lexi found herself yearning for her partner back by her side; for the two of them to solve missions again, and for Ayla to ramble about her theories with pupils as large as full moons. Oh, how Lexi longed to hear a conspiracy theory right now. Despite Lexi’s scepticism in things she could not see, there was something special about the way Ayla launched into an in-depth theory why pigeons are employed by the government as top-secret spies.
If Lexi lost Ayla, there would be no more of her partner’s flamboyant and enthusiastic attitude. From the few other partners Lexi had acquainted with, none of them were like Ayla Clarke. None of them were as special as Ayla Clarke. To lose her would be such a significant part of Lexi’s life lost. What Lexi and Ayla had were special, in Lexi’s eyes, and it was something she had never felt with another woman before. They were a bond like no other, and Lexi cared about Ayla more than she dared to admit to herself. Yet she never had the chance to tell Ayla that. Through everything that happened, there was never the appropriate time, especially when Ayla was not long adjusting to worklife after disappearing off the grid for several months. It was never the right time. It was never the right time, and now the chance could have slipped from Lexi’s fingers entirely.
Staring at Ayla’s still body on the hospital bed, Lexi traced her thumb around Ayla’s palm. She looked peaceful, Lexi supposed, observing her partner. At least, that was what the doctors reassured her—like they do with everyone. All Lexi could do was sincerely hope that was the same case with Ayla. Eyes remained locked on Ayla, studying her face. Her usually uncontrollable hair now neatly framed her face, and Lexi took in every feature that was on Ayla’s countenance. Her eyes were of course closed, but all Lexi wanted was for her eyelids to slowly flutter open.
Lexi shuffled slightly in her seat, and repositioned her grip on Ayla’s hand, her own forefinger and thumb rubbing at Ayla’s coarse palm. Oh, how she wanted nothing more than to pull Ayla into a tight embrace and just… impulsively kiss her. Lexi was finally at that stage of self-awareness.
Silence ensued for a few moments, save for the humming of air conditioning and the beeping of the monitors. Then, Lexi finally spoke.
“Ayla, please,” Lexi pleaded in a very unfamiliar desperate tone. “I know you can fight this. I know you’re strong. You’ve never backed down, ever, so don’t let this thing beat you down now. You’ve come so far that you can’t let it beat you down now. I need my partner back.” Lexi paused as she took a deep, shaky breath. Tears were beginning to develop; a rare moment of vulnerability. A single beat, and Lexi continued, seemingly caught in the midst of a train of thought. “Except you’re so much more than a partner. A friend, someone I can rely on, someone that I can trust, someone that I can…” There was a brief break where it looks as though Lexi was debating whether or not to continue. She glanced down awkwardly; this new sense of shyness was new for the confident agent. “I don’t know if you remember; it was months ago now. You asked me if I genuinely meant what I said and I said I needed time. Well—” A sharp, shaky exhale. You can say whatever you need to, she won’t be able to listen. ”Well, I’m ready. I’ve known it for quite some time now. You’re the only person I can see myself with. But who knows if you still feel the same way—I’m probably too late—which is why I couldn’t come out and say it on the last mission, I suppose. Maybe if I had then we wouldn’t be in this mess?“ Lexi breathed heavily. “I never realised just how special you are to me, and not only as a work partner.” Lexi sighed, giving Ayla’s hand a light squeeze. She would do anything to see those magnificent brown eyes and for her partner to stir back into consciousness.
Lexi remained in silence for the following minutes, her hands propping up her chin as she continued her vigil. She watched Ayla’s chest rising and falling, slowly, amidst the silence.
What Lexi thought she just witnessed next genuinely took her by surprise. She could have sworn she saw an eyelid twitching to the bright overhead light, but it could have easily been a trick of an eye. But it happened again. Slowly but surely Ayla’s eyes began to open and she started stirring, much to the immediate shock of Lexi. Doubts and concerns suddenly flooded her mind as a mildly confused look adorned Ayla’s features. What if she lost a significant amount of her memory?
“Wow! You would not believe the bat-crazy kind of dream I had,” she croaked hoarsely, almost struggling to speak for a moment.
An immense wave of relief washed over Lexi as tears brimmed to her eyes. She was completely mesmerised with surprise, yet her eyes still met Ayla’s. They locked eyes for several moments, like an old flame meeting his past lover. Lexi’s lips merely curled into a smile with her gaze transfixed on Ayla. Neither of their gazes flinched at all, Neither Lexi or Ayla removed their gaze. Ayla truly was back this time.
xxxx━━━
author’s note, this is not good writing. 😭 idc what anyone says but i can do better. but hey, at least lexi loves ayla more than anything in the world. ayla is lexi's home! dare i say: soulmates.
au, men in black-inspired ━━ character, lexi wang
word count, 1,430 ━━ date written, 14/06/2021 ━━ content warnings, hospitals
“I just got her back. I’m not losing her again.” Lexi’s confession to Ashley replayed in her head again and again. It wasn’t common for distractions to get the better of the stern agent, but Ayla’s condition in hospital kept interrupting her thoughts. Whenever Lexi tried to move forward with the mission, the same image of Ayla in the hospital bed flooded her mind, lying hopeless and unconscious. What if she woke up and Lexi wasn’t by her side? What if she wasn’t there for vital updates from the doctors? What if, in the worst-case scenario, Lexi doesn’t get to say goodbye? An endless trail of questions, and never any answers.
When Ashley finally suggested returning to the hospital, relief washed over Lexi like a wave to the shore. Seldom did Lexi find herself longing to escape the thrilling atmosphere of a field mission. She knew Ashley meant no harm by tearing Lexi away from Ayla’s side—there was nothing she could do, and frankly she needed the distraction. But you can’t combat a distraction with another distraction, which was evident when the only thing that remained in Lexi’s mind was how her partner was doing.
And so she sat vigil by Ayla’s side, who was lying unconscious. At least now she wasn’t connected to a series of wires like two weeks ago. A monotonous beeping of a heart monitor and countless other machines droned through the ward. It was the only thing giving Lexi an ounce of certainty: no matter how unknown she was at the moment, the one thing she positively knew was that the monitors would continue to beep and hum in the background.
Three weeks had passed since Lexi heard her partner’s voice in real-time. Three weeks had passed since Lexi and Ayla were assigned the mission that was more dangerous that OPERA let on. Three weeks had passed since the alien parasite successfully reached Ayla’s central nervous system, provoking the medical-induced coma she was in now. Time was running out; Lexi recalled the doctors sternly saying they would only give it two months at the absolute maximum. Though Lexi was now extremely conscious of what the time was and how fast it was passing. Every minute felt like an hour, and still Ayla showed no signs of stirring. Not a single flinch or squeeze of Lexi’s hand as she held it tight. The only movement was the steady rise and fall of her chest—the only sign that Ayla was still alive and fighting.
Ayla was more than capable, and Lexi knew her partner was one to put up a fight, but now it felt different. With a parasitic entity that attacks the brain, Ayla was rendered defenceless, lying motionless in the hospital bed. Was she even aware of where she was? Was she aware of what happened to her? Was she dreaming right now?
Hopeless desperation always found its way back to Lexi in the end. She longed for nothing more than to see Ayla’s eyes fly open and for her to come out with one of her silly, witty one-liners as she stirred. This time, Lexi found herself yearning for her partner back by her side; for the two of them to solve missions again, and for Ayla to ramble about her theories with pupils as large as full moons. Oh, how Lexi longed to hear a conspiracy theory right now. Despite Lexi’s scepticism in things she could not see, there was something special about the way Ayla launched into an in-depth theory why pigeons are employed by the government as top-secret spies.
If Lexi lost Ayla, there would be no more of her partner’s flamboyant and enthusiastic attitude. From the few other partners Lexi had acquainted with, none of them were like Ayla Clarke. None of them were as special as Ayla Clarke. To lose her would be such a significant part of Lexi’s life lost. What Lexi and Ayla had were special, in Lexi’s eyes, and it was something she had never felt with another woman before. They were a bond like no other, and Lexi cared about Ayla more than she dared to admit to herself. Yet she never had the chance to tell Ayla that. Through everything that happened, there was never the appropriate time, especially when Ayla was not long adjusting to worklife after disappearing off the grid for several months. It was never the right time. It was never the right time, and now the chance could have slipped from Lexi’s fingers entirely.
Staring at Ayla’s still body on the hospital bed, Lexi traced her thumb around Ayla’s palm. She looked peaceful, Lexi supposed, observing her partner. At least, that was what the doctors reassured her—like they do with everyone. All Lexi could do was sincerely hope that was the same case with Ayla. Eyes remained locked on Ayla, studying her face. Her usually uncontrollable hair now neatly framed her face, and Lexi took in every feature that was on Ayla’s countenance. Her eyes were of course closed, but all Lexi wanted was for her eyelids to slowly flutter open.
Lexi shuffled slightly in her seat, and repositioned her grip on Ayla’s hand, her own forefinger and thumb rubbing at Ayla’s coarse palm. Oh, how she wanted nothing more than to pull Ayla into a tight embrace and just… impulsively kiss her. Lexi was finally at that stage of self-awareness.
Silence ensued for a few moments, save for the humming of air conditioning and the beeping of the monitors. Then, Lexi finally spoke.
“Ayla, please,” Lexi pleaded in a very unfamiliar desperate tone. “I know you can fight this. I know you’re strong. You’ve never backed down, ever, so don’t let this thing beat you down now. You’ve come so far that you can’t let it beat you down now. I need my partner back.” Lexi paused as she took a deep, shaky breath. Tears were beginning to develop; a rare moment of vulnerability. A single beat, and Lexi continued, seemingly caught in the midst of a train of thought. “Except you’re so much more than a partner. A friend, someone I can rely on, someone that I can trust, someone that I can…” There was a brief break where it looks as though Lexi was debating whether or not to continue. She glanced down awkwardly; this new sense of shyness was new for the confident agent. “I don’t know if you remember; it was months ago now. You asked me if I genuinely meant what I said and I said I needed time. Well—” A sharp, shaky exhale. You can say whatever you need to, she won’t be able to listen. ”Well, I’m ready. I’ve known it for quite some time now. You’re the only person I can see myself with. But who knows if you still feel the same way—I’m probably too late—which is why I couldn’t come out and say it on the last mission, I suppose. Maybe if I had then we wouldn’t be in this mess?“ Lexi breathed heavily. “I never realised just how special you are to me, and not only as a work partner.” Lexi sighed, giving Ayla’s hand a light squeeze. She would do anything to see those magnificent brown eyes and for her partner to stir back into consciousness.
Lexi remained in silence for the following minutes, her hands propping up her chin as she continued her vigil. She watched Ayla’s chest rising and falling, slowly, amidst the silence.
What Lexi thought she just witnessed next genuinely took her by surprise. She could have sworn she saw an eyelid twitching to the bright overhead light, but it could have easily been a trick of an eye. But it happened again. Slowly but surely Ayla’s eyes began to open and she started stirring, much to the immediate shock of Lexi. Doubts and concerns suddenly flooded her mind as a mildly confused look adorned Ayla’s features. What if she lost a significant amount of her memory?
“Wow! You would not believe the bat-crazy kind of dream I had,” she croaked hoarsely, almost struggling to speak for a moment.
An immense wave of relief washed over Lexi as tears brimmed to her eyes. She was completely mesmerised with surprise, yet her eyes still met Ayla’s. They locked eyes for several moments, like an old flame meeting his past lover. Lexi’s lips merely curled into a smile with her gaze transfixed on Ayla. Neither of their gazes flinched at all, Neither Lexi or Ayla removed their gaze. Ayla truly was back this time.
xxxx━━━
author’s note, this is not good writing. 😭 idc what anyone says but i can do better. but hey, at least lexi loves ayla more than anything in the world. ayla is lexi's home! dare i say: soulmates.