“I’ll drop the weapon if you drop the phone.”
"Listen, kid.. Just, put the phone down, yeah?" A scrawny male with bloodshot eyes attempted to reason with me. His greasy hair was covering his Brendon Urie sized forehead almost completely despite the fact that he clearly didn't have enough hair to have bangs, I mean his combover was seriously lacking. What kind of hairstyle was he going for? Sadness on top? Hair disasters aside, I hadn't even noticed his "weapon". Was that a knife? Did he really plan to rob a teenager, with a blade? I could outrun his old legs any day. Any kid my age could, in or out of shape. The little toothpick he held shakily in his grasp jabbed in my direction. My mother was right, I guess, this was a dangerous place to live, and deciding to go to the payphone at one AM was completely not in my favor.
"Put down the knife, what the hell are you doing?" I hissed, my brown eyes scanning his posture, what a horrible thief, his footing was completely out of place, I could disarm him in seconds, but God... So much effort.
“I’ll drop the weapon if you drop the phone.” He screamed, little droplets of spit fleeing from between his cracked lips and landing on the already filthy glass door between us.
Hello, Peppa's pizza here! May I suggest our-" A cheery voiced chimed from the other line, ah, they had answered the phone, finally. "Ah, hey, one second, I think I'm being robbed." I interrupted. "Robbed?!" The voice screeched, but of course, toothpick had begun shouting.
"Drop the phone, drop it, I'll stab you! Just, give me your wallet and I'll let you live!" Warned the male, who was shaking like a leaf, if a leaf was stuck in a blizzard... while eating a snow cone. The voice on the phone, female I believe, was shouting as well, but due to the fact that I held the payphone away from my ear because of.. germs, I could barely hear her. Times like this made me realize I should give up on finding my lost cell, and buy a new one, god, can't a man just order a pizza?
"I'm... literally just ordering a pizza, dude.." I breathed, my brown eyes tired and my features dull. "Do I look like I have my wallet on me?" I sassed, placing a hand on my hip with an eyebrow raised as I motioned to my body with my eyes. I'm wearing Deadpool pajama pants and barefoot for christ sake, I clearly don't have anything of importance on my person. "Sir, sir!" Screamed the female on the other line, causing me to groan, and pull the phone closer to be able to focus in on her voice. "Sir!? Should I call the police? Where are you, hello? Hello?" Worried the woman, fed up with her squawking I opened my mouth to speak, before toothpick opened his much quicker.
"The phone, drop it!" He bellowed, causing me to crinkle my nose in disgust.
"Rude, I'm talking, do you know how hard it is to have two conversations at once? Wait your turn!" I scolded, turning my back to the male as I focused once more on my phone call, the woman was silent, did she think I was talking to her? "Hi, honey, sorry, I'm fine I just need uhm, like a large pizza, extra cheese, mushrooms, pepperoni, and.. sausage.
Yeah, Do you have like, a deal, with a drink?" I wondered, moving my hand from my hip to lightly tap my index finger against my chin in thought. From behind me, toothpick growled, to which I simply held my hand up to silence him. God, what a horrible thief. The bewildered woman took a few moments to reply but when she did her voice was quivering with some emotion I couldn't quite catch on to.
"Y..Yes, sir, we have uh, a large two-topping pizza and a 2-litter for 6.99$, would you like that?" Squeakie asked quietly, before clearing her throat to no doubt strengthen her voice.
"That works, yeah! Listen, stabby-" I started, turning around to face toothpick who was now standing with his armed crossed, and had a vast look of confusion plastered on his grizzly face. "What do you want on your pizza?" I quizzed causing his grey eyes to widen, and his mouth to become agape, had he.. never had pizza before..? "Well?" I hissed; there was my attitude, again.
"I.. I l'll take.. a cheese pizza, yeah.. cheese." Breathed the male in confusion. Shrugging I returned to my conversation, placing the phone back against my ear, but not too close.
"Okay! I'll take two of the 6.99$ deals, the same one from a second ago- I'll take a Root Beer with that, and then one cheese pizza with just extra cheese and a-" Pausing my sentence I turned to face toothpick one last time, eyeing him over before clicking my tongue. "A Dr.Pepper!" I chimed proudly, finishing up my phone call before exiting the phone booth. Stabby took a step back looking at me curiously, before he held the knife back up, a lot less shaky this time. Had he finally gained his nerve?
"I'll get them to drop yours off here, wait for it, and next time you try and rob someone, be a little nicer, yeah?
Yelling is rude." I corrected, scanning the male over again before huffing. "You're welcome, for the pizza I mean." With that, I turned and headed back towards my apartment, my bare feet silent against the pavement. I think I ever heard toothpick mumble a thank you.