WIP tryout for this Kalon.
My Kal <3
Username: Zailune
Eleanor – prefers Leonora or the nickname “Leo”, despite "Leo" being a masculine alt
Leonora Name meaning: Greek origin, meaning “compassion; light”
Gender: Female – she / her
Orientation: heterosexual
Personality:
Eleanor's personality greatly changed throughout her life, much due to her history and upbringing. Her personality is greatly intertwined with her history, so both details of her history and personality will be included in this portion.
Childhood Personality:
Eleanor was born into a proper, widely respected and very wealthy family. Her upbringing involved strict regimens and scheduling, and misbehavior or misconduct was severely punished. Eleanor was encouraged to be a well-mannered, soft-spoken and very feminine woman by her parents and teachers. Internally, however, Eleanor was very conflicted. She found it difficult to appreciate a feminine lifestyle, and hated feminine attire and items. She once asked to cut her hair in a boyish style, and was then scolded by her parents for making such a “ridiculous” request. She hated long hair as a child and the maintenance that came with it.
She'd have much rather have the lifestyle of her two older brothers, Alexander and Gregory – who to her at least in her eyes seemed to have much more freedom than her, and were allowed to “act like boys”.
Throughout her childhood, she acted like a puppet for her parents, but internally she suffered – she felt as though she couldn't express herself, and she was taught to behave in a way that didn't feel right to her. She began to grow a resentment towards her parents, but she continued to follow their teachings simply out of respect for the fact that they were her parents. She did love them as well, and wanted them to love her, but she could never understand their lack of understanding towards her wants. She thought their behavior to be selfish, in all honesty.
As Eleanor aged into her teen years, she found a lot more freedom in her life. Her parents work seemed to grow more intensive, and they paid less mind to her. She was given more personal responsibility over her schedule and teachings as well. She used this freedom as an opportunity to explore her identity and grow a more unique personality, less like the one she'd been forced to act out.
Teen Personality:
Eleanor came across as tough, tomboyish and spoke with a bold voice when interacting with others at her private school. She preferred hanging out with boys, and had a vulgar sense of humor and way of speaking. She was generally well-liked among her peers, as she had a sense of honesty and kindness to her and would go out of her way to assist others or offer advice when she could.
Her way of socializing could've been considered manipulative in a sense, being that she'd change her way of speaking and attitude in various situations. However, she never intended to manipulate others or portray herself in multiple ways. It was simply a result of how she was raised.
When she would be around her parents or those her family personally associated with, she'd act as she had as a child – puppet-like, proper and well-mannered. Her brothers were aware of her differing behavior, as they attended the same school, but didn't call her out on it. They had their own secrets, after all – and they seemed to be a bit more understanding than Eleanor's parents.
Eleanor went with the nickname “Leo” around her circle of friends, despite its masculine nature. She felt more of a connection with things generally associated with the male gender, so she didn't mind the implications the nickname may have come with – and her friends were very respectful of her wishes and expression.
In her late teen years, Leo began to feel a bit upset with herself. She felt that she was a bit of a liar, despite the fact that she tried to be honest with others and show kindness whenever she could. She felt this way because of her “acting” around her parents, and one day she decided to confess how she felt about her identity to them. To put it simply, they heavily disapproved of it, despite Leo's best attempts at explaining how she felt.
She felt rejected, and terribly disappointed with her parents' reactions. She only wanted to be accepted for who she was. When Leo turned 19, she left home. She didn't contact her parents for some time after leaving, and felt a bit bitter. She refused to push her bitterness and upset feelings outward, though – rather, she kept her negative feelings inside, and only dealt with the reality of things later on.
Young Adult Personality:
Leo heavily rejected the “feminine lifestyle” her parents had pushed on her as a child once she left home. She kept her lengthy hair, but often tied it up and neglected it to an extent. She wore boyish clothes, and never put on makeup despite owning an expensive kit. She finally felt comfortable in her body, knowing she could express herself as she wished, and act like she'd wanted to. She took advantage of her freedom as much as she could, and felt like an “average” Kalon.
She still preferred being referred to with feminine pronouns and being recognized as a woman, yet she stuck with the nickname “Leo” to satisfy her desire to express herself in a masculine way at times – and those she knew personally respected her feelings. She wondered often why her parents could never accept what seemed to her like a simple thing.
Leo had a bold attitude, was firm in her words and appeared confident to others. On the inside, she felt a bit scared of what others thought of her at times. Her personality and appearance in the eyes of others mattered much to her, and she wanted to come off in a certain way – she often cared way too much what those around her thought of her. In a lot of ways, this could have been said to have been due to the way she was brought up and taught how exactly she “should” act.
In short, her expression of self and identity mattered very much to her – and she wanted to be known as a kind, caring individual despite the confident and bold attitude she expressed often. She wanted to be trusted by others, and understood.
Age 24 – A Change:
One day, Leo called her parents and asked if she could come for a visit. She wanted to see how they were feeling, and how their work was going. In secret, she also wondered if they had changed their attitude at all towards her nature as a Kalon. She still cared deeply for her parents despite their differences and distance. Leo was living far from her hometown in the Lavalands of Kalokairi, a place mostly known for its intense heat, but also for its large, main town which homed many unique businesses and Kalons. Leo had managed to get used to the heat fairly quickly, but it definitely wasn't a place for just anyone – she honestly liked the heat, though. It was as if it was always summer....but swimming wasn't a very smart option.
When her mother picked up the phone, she sounded surprised. The two hadn't spoken in at least several months, and they caught up on how each of them were feeling. They shared some good laughs, and Leo's mother accepted her wish to come visit. Ten days later, Leo arrived back in her hometown.
Her parents were looking quite a bit older, more so than they probably should have. Leo wondered if it was due to the stresses of their work, but avoided asking. Leo and her parents sat in a mid-size living room and spoke for some time about their lives. Leo's parents seemed to be much more accepting of her personality and identity at this time, and she was honestly curious as to why the change had happened.
“We thought it was a phase.” They said. Leo shook her head.
“It's just who I am.”
After this visit, Leo felt much different about her parents. Her bitter feelings were lost, and she felt a connection to them she hadn't felt in many years. She was happy, and called them up much more often for chats. Her love for them had finally rekindled, and her respect for them had returned – this time, she could have the freedom of an adult and act as she wished, and still be respected and understood by her parents. It had taken time, but they finally showed signs of understanding.
In a sense, it helped Leo respect herself more as well.
Age 26 – Current Age Personality:
Leo understands and respects her personality and identity, and is not afraid to act as she wishes in front of others. She acts appropriately and respectfully around those she doesn't know personally, but can be silly and a bit vulgar around those she does know well and feels comfortable around. She knows how to be both proper and casual, and takes advantage of her knowledge gained from social experiences. She still often comes across as bold and confident, and still cares quite a bit what others think of her – yet she deals with her worries very well. She's honest and kind, and cares about others' feelings. She's always up for offering friendly advice and help to others, and goes out of her way to ask about someone's day if she feels that something is wrong.
She cares about her family, and respects her elders. She consistently calls up her parents and brothers, and likes to keep on good terms with others. She hates having someone consider her an enemy, and she doesn't consider anyone else to be an enemy – even if she dislikes something about their attitude towards her. She has a nice circle of friends, and can make friends with a variety of Kalons. She's very understanding and compassionate towards others, and can put herself in the place of others in an empathetic sense fairly easily, which helps her connect with others more easily.
Leo struggles at times with her thoughts of her past or stresses, and doesn't take well to arguments or disagreements with others. However, she works hard to resolve situations and issues. When she finds that she can't change something, it's hard for her to accept it at times. She's very respectful of differing opinions, unless the opinion involves disrespect for another living being. She tries to have an understanding of opinions that involve that, though – and recognizes that every Kalon's life experience is different, and that their experiences may have led to their particular opinion.
