by Aliria » Tue Jan 17, 2017 1:54 pm
65.// "Whatever happened to Joel?"
"Whatever happened to Joel?" Lila asked. It was a stupid question. Many things had happened to Joel.
Since graduating high school, he had largely lost touch with his old friends, as, you see, this was a long time ago in the days before Facebook and texting and all those important things. Now, when the graduating class got back together, Joel was missing. He was not the only one. In the last ten years, a number of people had ended up in places where they simply could not make it to the reunion.
Tara was sick with a mild case of pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, a lung disease caused by inhaling fine ash and sand. Bailey had moved to a small pacific island where any transportation other than small canoes was illegal, so there was no way to catch an airplane without getting a life sentence in jail. Thomas was being held captive in a castle in the small European country of Ficticioustein. There was a rumor going around that Sally had been eaten by a large angry plant last summer, but nobody was entirely sure.
The only person missing from the reunion without an excuse was Joel, and that was why he was not there. He would arrive eventually, but by that time, Lila, the one person he cared to see, would be gone.
You see, after leaving high school, Joel had decided to go on an adventure. Unfortunately for him, by that time, adventures were rather hard to come by, as humans had already settled most of the planet and had not yet developed easy access to any other planets. Eventually, Joel decided to become a pirate. Why, you may ask? Well, why shouldn't he become a pirate?
Becoming a pirate, however, is a rather difficult task. Joel bought a large boat and convinced an old dock worker by the name of Timotheos Modesto Queen, who currently resides in Ficticioustein, carving small canoes. However, he still needed to find a crew, for being a pirate on one's own is rather dull.
He decided on five people to invite to his pirate crew. Marcus, his best friend in kindergarten, who had moved to Ficticioustein the year after and Joel hadn't seen since. Greg, who worked at a gas station Joel used to visit occasionally, and probably didn't know Joel's name. Marissa, who rode the same bus as he did the year he was in seventh grade, and had very strong opinions about diplomacy with plants. Courtney, who had loudly professed her love for Joel in the middle of the street he year after he graduated, and then never spoke to him again, so Joel was still not sure if she had meant anything by it. And finally, Lila, his best friend throughout all of high school.
All of them accepted, except for Lila, as he could not find a way to contact her.
When Joel received the invitation to the reunion, he knew Lila would be there, and though the last year traveling the high seas as a pirate had been fun, he knew it would be more fun with her. Unfortunately, he was, at the time, rather busy being pursued by the police. It was a common hazard of being a pirate, and Joel was rather used to it, but the police did make attending a reunion a bit difficult.
This left Joel with only one reasonable option: invent a teleporter. Luckily, Courtney was very good at inventing things, and had a decent one built by the next morning. It was only nine o'clock, and the reunion didn't start until two o'clock in the afternoon, so Joel decided to take a break and read up on lung disease until time to leave.
At two o'clock precisely, Joel walked into the teleporter, and into the building where the reunion was being held. Unfortunately, Lila had walked out just before he arrived, as he had forgotten to calculate the time zone difference and arrived one hour late.
And there you have it, the story of whatever happened to Joel and why Lila is still not a pirate, no matter how much she would like to become one.
//ahaha this is so bad i'm so sorry you had to read it
I'll send out my soul
To worlds more beautiful
