Adoptable Form & Story Reviews

[Lady Sif]

Recently, I've seen a lot of people looking for help and reviews with their adoptable forms, stories and art concepts and since I like helping out with those sorts of things, I thought I'd make one nice central place for reviews.


Rules:
Be polite with me and everyone else on this thread
Do not pressure me/rush me, a good review can take 30 minutes to two hours for me to write depending on the length of the form and remember I'm doing it for free.


What I can help with:
Correcting grammar/spelling mistakes.
Concept ideas and originality
Language usage and reader level
Art concepts and portrayal of character
General Form Review
Some coding errors

What I will not do:
Write stories/draw art/code your form for you.
Give you the base ideas
Red line/assist with the art itself (I would, but I can't, my art skills are lower level)
Non-adoptable/tryout stories. Sorry guys, I just don't have the time.

Slots:
Due to being overwhelmed with forms in the past, I am now limiting the amount that I will take on at one time.
Regular Slots:
1. Mozzy.
2.
Non-owner slots:
1.
2.



How to get help:
Please either post below, or if you'd rather keep it private, PM it to me.
Include the following Form:

Code: Select all

[b]Link to the contest:[/b][url][/url]
[b]Link to your form:[/b][url][/url]
[b]What do you feel like you need help with the most? (Concept, spelling/grammar, wording, etc): [/b]
[b]Would you prefer my review posted here or PMed to you?[/b]
[b]Regular or Non-owner slot:[/b]

And I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

[shortstop]

Link to the contest:Boop
Link to your form:Here
What do you feel like you need help with the most? (Concept, spelling/grammar, wording, etc): Just stuff to add? Especially character development-wise c:
Would you prefer my review posted here or PMed to you? Either way is fine ^^
Regular or Non-owner slot: Non-owner

Thank you <3

[Lady Sif]

Link to the contest:Boop
Link to your form:Here
What do you feel like you need help with the most? (Concept, spelling/grammar, wording, etc): Just stuff to add? Especially character development-wise c:
Would you prefer my review posted here or PMed to you? Either way is fine ^^
Regular or Non-owner slot: Non-owner

Thank you <3

I really liked your form and concepts, both feel like you're off to a great start However, I do have a few suggestions.

First of all, I noticed your story with her and her aunt where Nadine was practicing singing, and I think it might make a great story if you wrote about how Nadine came to be interested in masks in the first place, maybe she had been trying to preform in a school play and instead ended up helping out in costume design?

Second, in the story Nadine, Suzy and Otis, you introduced Nadine being a singer and then never really went anywhere with it. I'd either remove that or find some place to take it. Also you need a line break after each line of dialog.

My last big comment would be just to keep in mind in your setting that she's suppose to be eight years old, and try your best to keep her abilities and talents reasonable for an eight year old. Also maybe instead of having her made masks for everyone in her family so far, you could instead have her in the process of planning on making masks for certain members of her family?

[chamomile.]

Link to the contest:#666
Link to your form:here!
What do you feel like you need help with the most?: wording, expanding the concepts and making sure they make sense and are interesting!
Would you prefer my review posted here or PMed to you? pmed please
Regular or Non-owner slot: regular

[DragonGlitch]

Link to the contest:Readopt
Link to your form:Boop
What do you feel like you need help with the most? (Concept, spelling/grammar, wording, etc): Wording, and maybe last minute concept?
Would you prefer my review posted here or PMed to you? PMed
Regular or Non-owner slot: Non-owner

[gold]

Marking this for future reference, hope that's okay C:

I presume this is for plume forms only, is that correct?

[Lady Sif]

Marking this for future reference, hope that's okay C:

I presume this is for plume forms only, is that correct?

Nah, other species forms are fine, plumies is just the main place I posted the link.

[Lady Sif]

All slots open again/all forms reviewed.

[Valute]

mark, working on a form currently and will most likely need some help with making sure stuff makes sense <33

[jaques]

Link to the contest: #700
Link to your form: Botom of page two.
What do you feel like you need help with the most?: Whole nine yards beyond coding.
Would you prefer my review posted here or PMed to you? PM'd
Regular or Non-owner slot: Regular