--Planet, not a Diary! {Satire}

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--Planet, not a Diary! {Satire}

Postby Piefan » Mon Aug 24, 2015 1:26 am

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тнιѕ ιѕ ησт α ∂ιαяу, ιт ιѕ α ρℓαηєт

Out there, floating around, are a thousand universes; ours being only one. Millions of people - humans, dogs, and cats alike. Thalia is one of them. A single dog with five companions, she must save the world from an evil dog by the name of Kris. This will not be easy - not one member of this group is particularly competent. A popular brat, a sarcastic jock, a lazy emo, a quiet girl, and a confident kitten.

Still, she will try. For the sake of everyone, she will try.

Of course, before she goes on this adventure, Thalia must face approximately five million pages of pointless filler.

A satirical work in disguise as a serious story.


(Now open for posting)
Last edited by Piefan on Mon Aug 24, 2015 11:55 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Characters

Postby Piefan » Mon Aug 24, 2015 1:49 am

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t h a l i axj a c k s o n
"screw the rules, i'm thalia"
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Gender: Female
Role: Protagonist
Overall: Thalia's personality is as inconsistent as the waves. One moment she can be harsh and calculating, the other she can be kind and forgiving. Still, some traits remain consistent in her. She is unpredictable, due to her ever-changing mindset, as well as her general randomness. Indecisive, biased and at times clingy, she can seem annoying. However, she has a pure heart, often willing to help a friend in need.
Other:
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z a v i e rxw i l d f i r e
"and the fire burning in our hearts can never be put out"
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Gender: Male.
Role: Either a love interest, or a deuteragonist.
Overall: Stubborn, but loyal, Zavier is the kind of guy who likes sports and his IPaw. He is sarcastic, and seems to not really care about others, but he will stick by your side even when faced with his fears. However, he can be sweet and a little awkward when alone with a girl. He's a fast, short-distance sprinter, but he runs out of energy quickly. He can shock someone with the flames on his spine - they give off a jolt of electricity, and it doesn't hurt like real fire. He's trained to use a scythe, but isn't very good at it.
Other: He is afraid of the cold, the fridge and penguins due to an event in his past.

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s c a r l e t t exs w i r l
"life is a game that nobody wins, except for us."
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Gender: Female
Role: Deuteragonist
Overall: Some say she's on the shy side. Really though, she's just quiet. Inside of her is a volcano, ready to blow up at any moment due to her not voicing her opinions as much as she should. On the other side of that, she is sensitive and takes things way too personally, especially since she suffers from depression. She hides these feelings with a sense of determination and a pride of victory, that she may or may not really have.
Other: She's been seen to play basketball from time to time.

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r o s exs y r u p
"a rose by any other name would probably not be faced with a thousand bad puns per day"
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Gender: Female
Role: A cross between tritagonist and antagonist.
Overall: Rose is arrogant, abrasive, and harsh. She is also the most popular girl in the school. Why, exactly, is uncertain, but she is by nature a leader. Although petite, one would need a death wish or flat-out insanity to mess with her. Maybe she can't beat you up, but she can force others to, be it by bribery or threats. If she wants something, she will, by the Six Spirits, get it. Persistent, she downright refuses to give up in anything. She hates pity, and will deliberately avoid mentioning her misfortunes.
Other: ...

]
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k r i sxb e t a
"don't you DARE take me as a girl"
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Gender: "Well, I may look like a girl, but keep in mind, I AM A MALE." He's a male.
Role: "Why, to take over the world!" He means an antagonist.
Overall: "I may look soft, but look and me the wrong way and you'll see a whole new meaning of getting busted. My plasma scythe is always by my side, ready for anyone who who has a death wish against me. "
Other: N/A

To submit characters:
Code: Select all
[center]◤[color=transparent]xxxxxxxxxxx[/color]◥
image
n a m e[color=transparent]x[/color]h e r e
[i]"quote without capitals for no apparent reason"[/i]
◣[color=transparent]xxxxxxxxxxx[/color]◢[/center]
[b]Gender:[/b]
[b]Relationships:[/b]
[b]Overall:[/b] (personality, skills, etc)
[b]Other:[/b]

(Note: they can be anything you want them to be. A secret agent sent to protect the school? Fine. A time-traveller? Fine. It doesn't even need to be a student.)

(EDIT: Please, at least three lines of overall. It's easier to work with.)

Fanclub!
Last edited by Piefan on Wed Sep 02, 2015 2:11 am, edited 4 times in total.
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I {Introduction}

Postby Piefan » Mon Aug 24, 2015 1:53 am

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Hello there, my new book! Clearly, calling you a diary is so cliched that I'm not going to do that! Instead, you're a Planet! Hooray planet diaries!

My name is Thalia Jackson, and I'm currently sitting on a carrot ('chair' is so cliched) as I write in you. The house is pretty big, and my room's spacious enough that I own a computer and mobile. Family introduction? Family introduction!

ImageImage
These are my parents! That on the left is my Dad, obviously. The one on the right is Mom. Their actual names are James and Courtney respectively.

... Um, it's not weird that a pair of extremely American people gave their daughter a Greek name. People do that all the time, right?

Really, though, I guess I should introduce you to them in more detail. Dad's a technician, tthough despite the low pay, we somehow get by, living in relative luxury. (How is that, I hear you ask? It doesn't matter!) Mom's a homemaker and casual gardener. She sucks at cooking, but hey, food's food, and it's all-organic. I think.

Anyway, I guess I'll describe the whole of my day to you in oddly intricate detail, starting tomorrow! School's beginning then, and I'm sure I'll have lots to write about.


Those parents' names were literally decided by Googling "most suburban names".

In this post: Thalia imitates the average diary-writer, decides that everything is too cliché for her, and introduces her family. Note that her original name was Haidah. I simply changed it for obcious reasons.
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Re: --Planet, not a Diary! {Satire}

Postby Splashtail » Mon Aug 24, 2015 2:04 am

No offence,I didn't read the Nebula or other stories ^^; but sCREAMS THIS LOOKS EPIC AND I'M GOING TO DRESS UP SOME FRICKEN PETS NOW BYE FOR NOW
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Re: --Planet, not a Diary! {Satire}

Postby Piefan » Mon Aug 24, 2015 2:13 am

Thanks!

Also, Nebula? I haven't heard of that story - this is standalone.

Since this whole thing is written about five posts in advance, with half of it already planned, I may no be able to fit characters in perfectly well, but I sure as heck will try. Also, I've been planning some "omakes"/bonus chapters, which leaves some room for them!
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Re: --Planet, not a Diary! {Satire}

Postby hxneystorm » Mon Aug 24, 2015 2:30 am

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E l v e nx I c e r u s h
"yes i'm gay. no i don't care"
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Gender: Female
Role: Any role you see fit ;w;
Overall: Gay, likes reading, shopping, drawing and singing. Can be quiet, but also outgoing and silly. Has a little 'Dream Creature' named Lissi that is basically like a pet, that tends to help her in dire situations.
Other: She has some sort of control over ice and snow.
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Re: --Planet, not a Diary! {Satire}

Postby Piefan » Mon Aug 24, 2015 2:34 am

@AngelWolfArtist
Accepted! However, Elven can't really be a protagonist. Is that fine?
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Re: --Planet, not a Diary! {Satire}

Postby hxneystorm » Mon Aug 24, 2015 2:37 am

Sure! But like, have a main-ish part? Almost like a Tritagonist..?
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Re: --Planet, not a Diary! {Satire}

Postby Splashtail » Mon Aug 24, 2015 2:38 am

Oh...uh must be made by someone else XD
"I may no able to fit"?XD

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n a m exSeafoam
"if you need it,i got it!"
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Gender:Male
Role:Minor Character.
Overall:(I'm not good at explaining personality and such ;v;)
Other:Very much wip Also,could he be a vampire?
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though not active, but trying to be!
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im hyperverbal and love to chat!!
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II {Sorting}

Postby Piefan » Mon Aug 24, 2015 2:56 am

i need sleep why is school this early

*cough cough* I mean, uh, I'm fine. Just woke up at six in the morning, slept at midnight... But that doesn't matter, because long-lasting physical injuries never happen to me. Ever. I could probably get slammed against a wall multiple times without any noticeable effects. It's like the writer of life doesn't dare change the status quo or something.

Anyway, I daresay school's off to a great start. When I arrived, there were a bunch of people gathering in the hall, where this girl was standing on the stage. I pushed my way to the front.

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Ugh! D:< Hasn't she heard of modesty? I mean, sure, we're all animals without any parts which would be undesirable to see, I don't wear anything at all... But still! Upon first glance, I already hated her. By the way, I hate people who judge me based on my appearance. Shame on them.

Another dog emerged from the curtain, who I assumed was the principal of the school.

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"Good morning, Paw School!" -Headmaster

"That is, obviously, not a weird name. I mean, humans name their buildings after their feet, right?" -???

*laugh* "I'm sure they do. Anyway, I'm the headmaster of this school, and therefore have control over just about everything. However, I'll just let you take it from here, alright, Rose?" -Headmaster

She walked backstage, leaving Rose standing there. Her expression soured slightly as she turned to us.

"Anyway, I'm, like, the real leader here. My name's Rose, don't mock me for it. I'll speak to all of you individually, and sort you accordingly to one of five groups: Outcasts, Nerds, Populars, and Jocks. Starting with... you over there! Come up here!" -Rose

"... Um, okay!" *runs up the stage* -Me

"Name and interests?" -Rose

"My name's Thalia and I love hanging out with my friends, socialising, and so on." -Me

"... Talk about flat characters." -Rose

"No, I'm not. Also, 'flat character'? What the ham does that even mean?" -Me

"You just defended yourself from an insult you don't know the meaning of. Now go to the Outcasts." -Rose

As I walked off the stage, I glanced back, where another dog had taken my place.

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"Ooh, nice to meet you! Name and interests?" -Rose

"My name's Zavier Wildfire. I like gaming, blah blah blah." -Zavier

"And the fire on your back?" -Rose

"Yeah, what about it?" -Zavier

"It's-" -Rose

"Yeah? What about it?" -Zavier

He glaared at her, his expression challenging.

"You... Never mind, just get with the Outcasts." -Rose

"..." -Zavier

Though he seemed vaguely disappointed (which, yes, I could sense from several metres away), he walked off, holding his head high.

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"Uh, hello. I-I'm Winter. I like snow, snow angels, the cold-" -Winter

"You are the most obvious throwaway character in the history of throwaway characters." -Rose

"I-I don't understand..." -Winter

"Eh, whatever. Look, d'you have any interest at all in learning?" -Rose

"Well, I suppose-" -Winter

"Nerds, go." -Rose
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"Um, h-" -???

"Get with the other Outcasts." -Rose

"Wh-" -???

"Go." -Rose

Although she seemed reluctant, the dog did as said, climbing down the stairs with a thoroughly confused expression. Coincidentally, she stood nearby me, and I got the chance to talk to her.

"Hello! What's your name?" -Me

"Who? Me?" -???

"Yep, you." -Me

"I'm Scarlette. You?" -Scarlette

Now, I bet you're wondering: How the ham did I figure out how to spell her name? Well, I'm not going to explain it to you. You'll just have to live in eternal uncertainty.

... You don't care, do you, planet?

"Thalia Jackson. Totally normal name, right?" -Me

"Not exactly... Rather strange, as a matter of fact, if you don't mind my saying so." -Scarlette

"Nope, not at all! The combination of somewhat-exotic and completely-ordinary is something you find every day, right?" -Me

"No, actually." -Scarlette

"Well-" -Me

"Hey! You two! The completely one-dimensional character and the one with the floppy hat!" -Rose

"What?' -Me

"Thalia, stop." -Scarlette

I wasn't about to talk to someone who didn't want to listen, so I fell silent.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful - I glared at Rose with the fury of a thousand suns, my facial muscles really hurt, and she continued to sort everyone without noticing me. Totally normal.

Accepted!

And don't be expecting updates constantly this fast, I just figured I needed to introduce more of the characters first. Though Rose can break the fourth wall, she can't communicate with the author.

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Last edited by Piefan on Mon Aug 24, 2015 3:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
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