I might add a better intro scene later, but for now I'll just throw you into the mess!
(For convenience)
Looks like>is actually
Renard>Monroe and vice versa
Nick>Hank
Rosalee>Adelind
Monroe moved towards the door to tell whoever it was to piss off. The scene he left behind him in the Spice shop was a strange one.
“Please, is the Captain here? Don’t make me walk into a room with that death glare when I’m not prepared for it! That man’s a walking gloom machine, if ya know what I mean”
What Bud thought was Monroe looked at him with a look of hate that he was trying to conceal. Not being used this face sure didn’t help. He just held the door open while Bud let himself in, and followed after him into the main area of the shop.
What Bud saw confused him. Hank and Rosalie were standing close together, while The Captain and Adalind sat on the psychiatrist sofa practical in each others laps going through old books. Nick stood near him with his arms crossed, he noticed Bud’s confused look.
“Nick will be glad you came, we’ve got a, a situation you might call it.”
Behind them Monroe had been lurking, he came towards them as Bud said, “This looks like some kinda, um uh, Love Potion problem?” his eyes glancing from The Captain and Adelinde to Rosalee and Hank.
“NO!” They all shouted together, looking up from their various activities, The Captain looked up from the mold infested book he was reading, setting it down he stood up and moved straight towards Bud.
Who on a good day was able tolerate the Captain and not give into his natural instincts and run like Hell from him, started to back up , “Um, hey woah there Sir, I uh-” Before The Captain could reach him, Bud fumbled backward until he bumped into what he thought was Monroe, using him as a bodyshield, Bud grabbed his arm and huddled behind him. What he got in return was a look of pure hatred that seared into his soul. He immediately let go of Monroe's arm and took a step away from him. “W-What is going on here!” Bud stammered in a shrill shout.
“That’s what I came over here to tell you Bud” said Captain Renard, It appears we’ve somehow swapped our consciousness.”
“I didn’t know we, were, on a, uh, first name basis,” Bud stuttered, he leaned over to Monroe, forgetting the glare he had just given him, “What’s his first name?” he whispered loudly in Monroe’s ear.
“Sean.” he said through clenched teeth.
“Thanks Monroe! So um Se-”
“Bud, come here!” Renard grabbed Bud by the arm and drug him away from Monroe, “I’m Monroe you idiot, what did I just tell you?”
Suddenly Adaline was gently leading Bud to the sofa, he looked at the people on either side of him and didn’t anything else until he was seated on the couch. Once his heart had settled down, he looked up to see everybody watching him.
All of the gang assembled before him, Hank began, “We found an old box in the suspect’s house, and opened it”
“Whose idea was that again?” muttered The Captain sarcastically.
“So you’re tellin’ me, that you’re not who you look like?” Bud drew out this realization.
“Well,” said Hank, if that really was Hank, “I’m Nick, and Hank is me, Adalind and Rosalee switched, and so did Captain Renard and Monroe.”
Bud went white when he heard that last part. Remembering what he had said to who he thought was Monroe when he had first arrived. He fondled the cup of Tea that Adalind had giv-no, that Rosalie had given him.
“So I’m sorry for scaring you like that, we all keep forgetting what we look like and that if might change how people, react to us.” The Captain who was actually Monroe said. It was off putting to see the Captain so laid back and casual, he had taken off his trench coat and tie and rolled his sleeves up to the elbows. And he kept flashing a smile. Nobody was used to that part yet.
“Now that we’re all acquainted with the situation,” said Monroe, who was actually Captain Renard, “Let’s find a way to reverse this [censored].” he added gruffly. He headed towards the door.
“Wait, where are you going?” called Rosalie, who looked like Adaline.
He turned around, “I am a Police Captain you know, I have to get back to the precinct.”
“No you are not a Police Captain.” added Nick, “But Monroe is, he'll have to go with you and tell everybody you need a day off or something.” Nick was still getting used to being Hank, he kept messing with the badge that hung from his neck, Hank always wore his like this, while Nick wore his on his hip. But Hank’s didn’t have a clip to make the switch, so Nick would have to stick it for now.
All eyes turned to Monroe, who was sitting in low chair and admiring his newfound shapely arms, flexing them back and forth.
“Ahem, Monroe?” Rosalee brought him back to Earth.
He blushed and stood up quickly, letting his sleeves fall back down. “What!?” he added Flusteredly when nobody explained to him the reason for their attention.
Nick took up the explanation, “We were just saying that you need to go with the Captain down to the precinct, since, well you are the Captain.”
“Oh yeah,” Monroe avoided the real Captain eyes, “Sure, let me grab his-er, my stuff” he went about picking up Renard’s tie, suit jacket, and overcoat.
The real Renard marched across to him and grabbed the bundle from him, muttering something about wrinkles and how much dry-cleaning costs.
“You two have fun” said Hank, with his flare of sarcasm.
Everyone stood in silence as the two of them exited the shop.
“I’ll see them off.” Nick ran after them through the door. As he left their sight they heard a loud thump and a “damn IT!” Most likely from Nick, who hadn’t quite gotten used to being three inches taller in Hank’s body.
“Ouch, that door is a bit low.” commented Adaline, giving a semi-sympathetic look.
Rosalie-Who-Looks-Like-Adaline asked Hank to come grab a book from a top shelf for her. He made his way over to the shelf, and stretching his arm out to it’s full length he realized that the was still out of his reach. “What? I remember I just grabbed something from this shelf yesterday!”
“Hank, Nick’s a couple inches shorter than you right?” Rosalie pointed out.
“That’s it, suppose I’ll have to get used to it for now.” he sighed and grabbed a box to stand on. He handed her the book she wanted and sat down, started studying his new pasty white hands.
“I guess the Tree Twins don’t have to worry about a height change.” Adaline said with a hint of jealousy,”Hey, but why am I complaining? I think I gained around four inches.” Adaline looked to Rosalie, or if you’re going on their bodies, vice versa.
“Yeah around that,” she replied, half paying attention to the conversation, “this would go faster if you guys stopped playing around with new found four inches and help me look through these books for a solution”
“How you find a solution for something if you don’t know what it is?”
Everyone looked up to see Bud, who had come back into the front of the shop.
“So did you guys call me here for a reason or, uh, should I go, or wha-”
“It was really great of you to come Bud, we were hoping you could be our contact with the outside world?” said Rosalie, giving him a smile as she took the empty mug from his hands.
“They don’t want to go out in public, their worried I’ll give their spice shop a bad reputation.” Adaline laughed, “But to tell you the truth, I think it would be fun, I bet Monroe and Sean are having a grand old time right now.”
CHAPTER 2
They spent the car ride in total silence, looking back that time could have been better spent with acquainting Monroe with the Captain’s habit’s.
The Captain drove, because it was his car. But if anybody in the precinct had seen somebody else driving the Captain, they would have thought something was terribly wrong. The Captain never let anybody else drive him or his car.
After they had parked, Renard got out and strutted across the parking garage as was his custom. But now to everyone else it was a strangely macho Monroe. Monroe caught up to him and grabbed his flannel clad arm, turning him around.
“Woah there my friend, I do not walk like that,” Monroe let him go and sighed, “we should go over a few things before we enter a room full of cops who see you every day.”
“Speak for yourself, that gangly shuffle of yours will hardly do for the Captain of the Central Portland Police Precinct.” Sean said with a scoff.
They bickered back and forth as they took turns walking through the empty garage while the other critiqued their posture or gait.
“Come on, this will have to do,” Sean told Monroe, heading to the elevators, “don’t talk to anyone, don’t do anything but walk straight ahead to my office, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“Well that’s specific.” said Monroe with a exasperated sigh as the Captain pushed the “up” button on the elevator.
“For one thing I don’t sigh like that.”
“Oh really? Like what?”
“Nevermind.”
They stood in silence for the rest of the way up. The doors slid open to reveal a pair of officers waiting to enter the elevator.
“Captain!” They said in unison, standing up a bit straighter.
Monroe was startled, so the the officers say their Captain be startled.
“Sir, is everything alright?” the elder of the pair said, taking a step towards Captain Monroe.
“Oh yeah everything is-” before he could stumble out the rest of an answer, the doors of the elevator started to close. Before they could Renard stuck a hand out and grabbed the attention of the sensors, sending the doors sliding back.
“Come on Sean we have to get going.” Renard said through clenched teeth, shoving Monroe out of the elevator.
“Why are you in such a hurry Sir?” asked one of the officers.
“Personal matters”
“My dear aunt is very sick”
Renard had taken the more cryptic way, while Monroe had given a very colorful response.
The two officers looked at eachother and then back at the two men that stood in front of the elevator.
Monroe held his breath as the officers gave them a quizzical stare. Remembering their company, they snapped themselves out of it and inquired if Monroe was related to the Captain, as they’d seen him around the precinct.
“He’s um, my brother. We’re going to check on our Aunt. Who is sick. In the Hospital.” Monroe answered them quickly.
“What he means is we’re like brothers, isn’t that right Mon-” Renard caught himself, “Sean?”
“Oh, yeah that’s totally what I meant.” Monroe inwardly grimaced at their total failure to get in and out quickly without talking to anybody.
“We should be on our way, good day Officers Kent and Samson.” Renard gave a curt nod to the two slightly confused Portland Police officers and countries on his way down the hallway. He left the two officers wondering why a friend of the Captain would know their names, shrugging, they entered the elevator.
Monroe hurried to catch up with him, then stopped abruptly and started walking the way The Captain had shown him in the garage. The hallway opened out into the large main floor of the precinct, Captain Renard was motioning for him.
Monroe made his way over, conscious of the many eyes burning into his back. To all these people he looked like their boss. Looked being the key word here, he didn’t know the first thing about running a Police Station. Let alone acting like it.
The Captain was standing with his arms crossed in front of his office door. “Hello there Captain, could I bother you for the key to your office?”
“I don’t have your keys.” Monroe noted the obvious snark in Renard’s voice at having to keep up this charade.
The Captain sighed, “Check your inside left pocket.”
Monroe dug around in his coat, “Ah, here it is,” he went to hand it to Renard, who shook his head and rubbed the bridge of his nose, or really Monroe’s nose, but who’s following along anyway?
“It’s your office.” he muttered with his eyes closed.
“Oh, right. Sorry.” he guessed the oldest key was for the office, as they others were either new car keys or brand new house keys. “There we go,” the key clicked in the lock and Monroe slipped into the spacious office, “what exactly did we need here again?” he asked without turning around, moving over towards Renard’s desk.
“Our main objective was to let somebody know that I would be out of the office for the day,” Renard explained to Monroe as he went directly to his desk, glancing around to make sure no one was outside watching a strange man dig around in the Captain's things. He looked up from the desk quickly to hold his hand out, Monroe got the hint and threw the keys to him. He caught them with a flick of his wrist and bent down to unlock one of the drawers that faced his chair. Rummaging around in the top most drawer, he continued, “the second was to get this.”
“What is it?” Monroe inquired, he was looking out through the offices blinds, enjoying the fact that whenever a cop looked his way all he had to do was give them a tight lipped glare and they would break eye contact with him and hurry away. “Oh and how do people differentiate your mad glare from your approving glare?” Monroe turned around to face the Captain as he asked his rude but none the less important question.
“Very funny,” he shoved the thing in his shirt pocket, then took it out and put it in his back pants pocket. “it’s something we might need later, now let’s go.” He gave his office the once over and headed for the door. Monroe was left to follow him.
“Hey, slow down there my friend!” Monroe called after him, surprised at how easily he glided over the distance on his long slender legs. “I feel like I should run a marathon or something, geez!” he muttered to himself as he caught up with the Captain.
“Shut up,” Renard snapped to him as he came in sync beside him as they made their way out of the precinct, “you’re making me look like a fool.”
“Oh. Sorry about that, but you’ve got to let me at least look like I’m in charge? You’re not helping much for your image you know.”
The Captain didn’t acknowledge him, just kept walking.
“For one thing you could walk a bit straighter, slouchings not good for your back you know.” Renard remarked with a small smile, but of course he didn’t let Monroe see that.
The bickered on and off the rest of the way out of the station, nobody dared bother them with anything.
