Not the Same~ 2/3 of Chap 1 is DONE ~A Novel Written by Fem

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Not the Same~ 2/3 of Chap 1 is DONE ~A Novel Written by Fem

Postby feming » Tue May 26, 2015 5:58 am

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    [url=http://www.chickensmoothie.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?f=57&t=2702366][img]http://i60.tinypic.com/2626z42.png[/img]
[/url]



Introduction of the Author;

Hello, and welcome to my first novel; Not the Same. You can call me Fem (short for 'feming'). I started this story on paper and will be continuing to do so, because it is easier to revise that way. I apologize for any incorrect paragraph seperations, as I am not that skilled in it. However, I will be doing my best. I hope you enjoy this novel, and please read over the critique section below for information.

Critique;

I greatly appreciate any critique that you (readers) can offer, as it will allow me to progress further into story-telling. It is not mandatory, but appreciated if you would use to following form to critique this story.
Code: Select all
Not the Same ~ Critique
[b]Chapter Number/Title (Optional):
Rating (Out of 10 stars - 1 being the worst, 10 being excellent)
What you like about it:
What you would change:
Would you recommand this to someone else?
[/b]

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

June 1st; Wooooooooh! I made a cover for this story :D
June 2nd; 1/3 of first chapter is up! :D
June 11th; 2/3 of the first chapter is done!
July 20th; Currently on hiatus; will resume soon!
[/i]
Last edited by feming on Tue Jul 21, 2015 12:27 pm, edited 20 times in total.
Still on unannounced hiatus (may be on and off again)~ Computer issues >.< Hopefully it'll clear up! [If you sent me a trade, I won't be able to answer for a long while; sorry!]
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Pet's name: Silver
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~*HAPPY HOLIDAYS*~

























Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!
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Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!








Image











Image
Pet's name: Ivyleaf (Very FIRST rare!)
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!









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Pet's name: Scrouge
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!







10 things I know about you!

1.you are reading this
2.you are human
3.you cant say the letter "p" without separating you lips
4.you just attempted to do it
6.you are laughing at yourself
7.you have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5.
8.you just checked to see if there was a number 5.
9.you laugh at this because you fell for it and everyone else did too
10.you copy and paste this to see who else falls for it XD

















"READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is an cat
this is person cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat
Now go back and read the third word from each line all the way down."/color]
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feming
 
Posts: 2007
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Re: Not the Same ~A Novel Written by Fem~ Please don't post

Postby feming » Tue May 26, 2015 5:58 am


Preview:

Written in: First Person ~ Limited Omniscent
People call me many names. Shapeshifter. Animal-morpher. Hybrid. But one thing is certain; I am not human.

Aliza Jane has suspected all her life that she wasn't the same. Ability to see in the dark. Lightening-quick reflexes. An amazing sense of hearing. It was only on her 16th birthday that she found out who - or what - she is. Suddenly thrust into a world of suspense, Aliza realizes she is not the only one to feel out of place. For, a group of scientists altered their genes so they could bring humankind from the brink of extinction. But that was 50 years ago. Now, Aliza and her fellow hybirds are being hunted down by the corrupted government. How long can they survive? And at what cost?
Last edited by feming on Tue May 26, 2015 6:59 am, edited 3 times in total.
Still on unannounced hiatus (may be on and off again)~ Computer issues >.< Hopefully it'll clear up! [If you sent me a trade, I won't be able to answer for a long while; sorry!]
Image
Pet's name: Silver
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!
~*HAPPY HOLIDAYS*~

























Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!
Image
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!








Image











Image
Pet's name: Ivyleaf (Very FIRST rare!)
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!









Image
Pet's name: Scrouge
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!







10 things I know about you!

1.you are reading this
2.you are human
3.you cant say the letter "p" without separating you lips
4.you just attempted to do it
6.you are laughing at yourself
7.you have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5.
8.you just checked to see if there was a number 5.
9.you laugh at this because you fell for it and everyone else did too
10.you copy and paste this to see who else falls for it XD

















"READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is an cat
this is person cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat
Now go back and read the third word from each line all the way down."/color]
User avatar
feming
 
Posts: 2007
Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2014 12:49 pm
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Trade with me

Re: Not the Same ~A Novel Written by Fem~ Please don't post

Postby feming » Tue May 26, 2015 5:59 am

Last edited by feming on Tue May 26, 2015 7:00 am, edited 4 times in total.
Still on unannounced hiatus (may be on and off again)~ Computer issues >.< Hopefully it'll clear up! [If you sent me a trade, I won't be able to answer for a long while; sorry!]
Image
Pet's name: Silver
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!
~*HAPPY HOLIDAYS*~

























Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!
Image
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!








Image











Image
Pet's name: Ivyleaf (Very FIRST rare!)
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!









Image
Pet's name: Scrouge
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!







10 things I know about you!

1.you are reading this
2.you are human
3.you cant say the letter "p" without separating you lips
4.you just attempted to do it
6.you are laughing at yourself
7.you have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5.
8.you just checked to see if there was a number 5.
9.you laugh at this because you fell for it and everyone else did too
10.you copy and paste this to see who else falls for it XD

















"READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is an cat
this is person cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat
Now go back and read the third word from each line all the way down."/color]
User avatar
feming
 
Posts: 2007
Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2014 12:49 pm
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My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Not the Same ~A Novel Written by Fem~ Please don't post

Postby feming » Tue May 26, 2015 5:59 am



Not the Same

Chapter One ~ What I Am


Tap.
Tap, tap.
Tap, tap, tap.

The steady beat of rain thrumming against my window woke me. Sitting up and leaning against the bedframe, I gazed out the window and shivered. I hated the rain, but loved the dark night. I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror and sighed. Though I had pale, creamy skin and straight dark-chocolate brown hair that reached just below my shoulders, my amber eyes stood out. My eyes are large and amber orange yellow, cat-like. And I have the freaky ability to see well in dim light. Glancing at the clock, I saw that it was 7:00 am, Thursday, April 23, 2076. Like I needed to be reminded that today was my 15th birthday. Only that it was dark, gloomy, and pouring rain. April showers bring May flowers, I grumbled to myself, pulling on a pair of skinny jeans and a dark blue hoodie. I brushed my teeth and headed downstairs. My mother was already at the table, sipping her hot coffee and reading the morning newspaper that somehow wasn’t completely wet yet. “Happy birthday, sweetie. Up already?”
“Yep.”
Walking towards the polished white cupboard by the sink, I pulled out a box of cereal and started making my breakfast.
“It’s a shame that it’s raining.” My mom remarked. “I know.” I replied, finishing my cereal and sliding the bowl over to the silver sink. “I was planning to take you to the movies, but I guess we’ll have to detour.” Not saying another word, I shrugged on a grayish-green rain jacket and opened my midnight black umbrella. Grabbing my navy-blue backpack, I opened the door and trudged outside.
“I’ll see you later, honey. Maybe we can watch the movie at home instead?”
“Yeah, I guess. Bye.”
I closed the door and hopped down the front steps, starting my lonely 15-minute trek to Mistwood Secondary. Except I wasn’t alone. “Hey, cat-girl!” A voice sounded behind me. Nicola West was standing behind me, her curly brown hair caught up in a ponytail. “Happy 15th birthday!” “Thanks.” I manage to grin a bit, with rain pounding my umbrella. “But can you please stop calling me that?” “Why not?” Nicola grins mischievously at me. “Your eyes do resemble a cat’s.” I sigh, but I am smiling. “Don’t you usually take the bus though?” I ask. “Nah, not today.” She looks sopping wet, so I step to her side, holding the umbrella over both of our heads.
By the time we reach school, we are both drenched. At least we aren’t late. We go down to separate classes; mine English, hers Math. I try to dry off as best a I can, but my teacher, Mr. Jenkins still raises an eyebrow and my wet clothes. Sighing, I make my way to my desk at the very back, my sneakers making plopping noises as I walk down.
20 minutes into studying essay writing, Mr. Jenkins assigns us to work on a draft on the topic ‘Where I Will be in the Future’. And to hand in yesterday’s homework paragraph, which I didn’t do because I had 5 pages of Math. Damn it. To my surprise and displeasure, he calls me up.
“Miss Jane, please come with me.”
He opens the classroom door and motions me to step outside. Titters and whispers begin as my classmates watch me, like a hawk. I wince and step out. Mr. Jenkins struts down the hallway to the office, and I follow him thinking how lucky I was to escape the homework check. I was wrong.
Sitting in one of those plush swivel chairs, he asks;” Miss Aliza Jane, do you know why you’re here?” I immediately snap to attention. Whenever a teacher uses your full name, you know you’re in some kind of trouble. “No…”My voice comes out slightly shaky. I have never been in trouble before, and I want to keep it that way. He raises an eyebrow, clearly convinced I am lying. I guess I am, but I am truthfully devoid of the reason I am here, but I still can’t help thinking of that assignment.
“You are convicted of being a genetically altered human being.”
He slams down the statement, waiting for my reaction.
My jaw drops, literally. I stare at him in shock and utter disbelief. “What do you mean, a genetically altered human being?’ We studied the Genetics War in Social Studies, a war that was caused 50 years before because of gene alterations. The ‘hybrids’ were killed off by the government, and there aren’t any left. Or is there? It can’t be possible. I am not a genetically altered human. I can’t be. But inside, a part of me is thinking, why am I surprised? After all, I don’t feel like I……. belong. That part frightens me, constricting my throat. “I mean exactly what I said.” Mr. Jenkins gives me a thin-lipped smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.
“I don’t understand…” My words flicker feebly in the room, which suddenly has contracted. “You have to undergo testing in the government building.” He speaks again, and this time a real smile flashes across his face, as if he enjoyed seeing me like this. I shudder, and begin to stand up, thinking to leave. But hands clamps down onto each of my shoulders, like steel vices. Twisting around, I see 2 government agents, dressed in black. Like assassins, I think to myself. I struggle, trying to throw them off, but it does nothing. “You have no choice.” Mr. Jenkins states, as they march me helplessly from the room. I cannot scream, my throat dry and hoarse. They shove me into a black police car with tinted windows, and drive-off. My last glimpse of my life that was ordinary is that of Mr. Jenkins standing in the parking lot, his grin looking like a viper.
I press my sweaty palms against the glass, and touch my forehead to it. It is blissfully cold, clearing my head. My breath fogs up the glass as I struggle to think of a way out of this. Before I can form a plan, we pull up to a sleek white building with rectangular windows. The guards, open to door and pull me roughly in front of them to enter the building. ‘The Bureau of Genetic Welfare – BGW ‘ is carved into the front desk, and a pair of silver elevator doors is next to it. They strut in with me and press the ‘8’ button in the wall. The elevator shudders and I feel the familiar feeling of rising. The doors open to reveal a long hallway with white doors and gray knobs. Opening one, they push me in and command: “Stay here.” Quickly, they close the door before I could escape. Sighing, and lean against the door and I observe my surroundings. A couple of other doors are marked with names like ‘Lab H5’. Turning the knobs, I discover that they are all locked. However, there is a pane of frosted glass at the very end of the corridor, and I peer in.
A boy that looks no older than I am is strapped into a padded chair, a heart monitor suspended above him. Harsh lights fill the room as scientists in white lab coats scurry around, like mice. One of them selects a needle filled with a orange liquid from a plastic tray, and injects him. The boy freezes, for a second. Suddenly, he jerks violently and flails his limbs, his mouth open in an agonizing scream. How can they stand to watch this? I notice the other scientists standing against the wall, their faces expressionless. One of them pins down his arms while the other injects a new muddy-green serum, and immediantly the boy goes limp. His face is ashen grey and he is panting heavily. The boy catches sight of me, and I could see fear and pain written all over his face. His eyes are a brilliant blue, and as I watch, I see the light ebb away from them, leaving them dull and lifeless. Lifeless.
I run away from the window in a panicked frenzy, slamming against the locked door. Frantically, I try to wrench them open while the boy’s face is glued in my mind. Full of fear, full of pain. Dead. I hammer against the door until my knuckles are red, a consistent shout tearing from my throat, until I am drained of energy. I collapse in a heap against the door, breathing hard, my heart pounding against my chest. Finally, I notice the words next to ‘Lab H5’; Experimental Tests on Animal Systems.

~Chapter 1 Not Finished Yet
Last edited by feming on Fri Jun 12, 2015 11:07 am, edited 3 times in total.
Still on unannounced hiatus (may be on and off again)~ Computer issues >.< Hopefully it'll clear up! [If you sent me a trade, I won't be able to answer for a long while; sorry!]
Image
Pet's name: Silver
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!
~*HAPPY HOLIDAYS*~

























Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!
Image
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!








Image











Image
Pet's name: Ivyleaf (Very FIRST rare!)
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!









Image
Pet's name: Scrouge
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!







10 things I know about you!

1.you are reading this
2.you are human
3.you cant say the letter "p" without separating you lips
4.you just attempted to do it
6.you are laughing at yourself
7.you have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5.
8.you just checked to see if there was a number 5.
9.you laugh at this because you fell for it and everyone else did too
10.you copy and paste this to see who else falls for it XD

















"READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is an cat
this is person cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat
Now go back and read the third word from each line all the way down."/color]
User avatar
feming
 
Posts: 2007
Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2014 12:49 pm
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Re: Not the Same ~A Novel Written by Fem ~ Posting Open

Postby feming » Wed Jun 17, 2015 11:33 am

~
Last edited by feming on Fri Jun 12, 2015 11:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
Still on unannounced hiatus (may be on and off again)~ Computer issues >.< Hopefully it'll clear up! [If you sent me a trade, I won't be able to answer for a long while; sorry!]
Image
Pet's name: Silver
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!
~*HAPPY HOLIDAYS*~

























Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!
Image
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!








Image











Image
Pet's name: Ivyleaf (Very FIRST rare!)
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!









Image
Pet's name: Scrouge
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!







10 things I know about you!

1.you are reading this
2.you are human
3.you cant say the letter "p" without separating you lips
4.you just attempted to do it
6.you are laughing at yourself
7.you have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5.
8.you just checked to see if there was a number 5.
9.you laugh at this because you fell for it and everyone else did too
10.you copy and paste this to see who else falls for it XD

















"READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is an cat
this is person cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat
Now go back and read the third word from each line all the way down."/color]
User avatar
feming
 
Posts: 2007
Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2014 12:49 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Not the Same~ 2/3 of Chap 1 is DONE ~A Novel Written by

Postby feming » Wed Jun 17, 2015 12:37 pm

:)
Still on unannounced hiatus (may be on and off again)~ Computer issues >.< Hopefully it'll clear up! [If you sent me a trade, I won't be able to answer for a long while; sorry!]
Image
Pet's name: Silver
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!
~*HAPPY HOLIDAYS*~

























Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!
Image
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!








Image











Image
Pet's name: Ivyleaf (Very FIRST rare!)
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!









Image
Pet's name: Scrouge
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!







10 things I know about you!

1.you are reading this
2.you are human
3.you cant say the letter "p" without separating you lips
4.you just attempted to do it
6.you are laughing at yourself
7.you have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5.
8.you just checked to see if there was a number 5.
9.you laugh at this because you fell for it and everyone else did too
10.you copy and paste this to see who else falls for it XD

















"READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is an cat
this is person cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat
Now go back and read the third word from each line all the way down."/color]
User avatar
feming
 
Posts: 2007
Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2014 12:49 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Not the Same~ 2/3 of Chap 1 is DONE ~A Novel Written by

Postby feming » Fri Jun 26, 2015 6:26 am

~
Still on unannounced hiatus (may be on and off again)~ Computer issues >.< Hopefully it'll clear up! [If you sent me a trade, I won't be able to answer for a long while; sorry!]
Image
Pet's name: Silver
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!
~*HAPPY HOLIDAYS*~

























Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!
Image
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!








Image











Image
Pet's name: Ivyleaf (Very FIRST rare!)
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!









Image
Pet's name: Scrouge
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!







10 things I know about you!

1.you are reading this
2.you are human
3.you cant say the letter "p" without separating you lips
4.you just attempted to do it
6.you are laughing at yourself
7.you have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5.
8.you just checked to see if there was a number 5.
9.you laugh at this because you fell for it and everyone else did too
10.you copy and paste this to see who else falls for it XD

















"READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is an cat
this is person cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat
Now go back and read the third word from each line all the way down."/color]
User avatar
feming
 
Posts: 2007
Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2014 12:49 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

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