i'm still choking with laughter at my bad excuse for saying cliche

Why! Just... Why! I have to have you. A diary. A blank book where these sad loners own, either because their forced, or its just plain " MOM GIVE ME A DIARY OR EEEELLLLLSSSSEEE! "
I'm not sure why but calling you a diary is a cliche. Such as this piece of junk
Dear Diary.
I had the worst day at school, My boyfriend left me.. BLAH BLAH BLAH!
Oh, you don't know me. I guess you don't have feelings but WHO CARES? You can be half journal, half diary!
Anyway.. this is me!
I look awful don't I? Who cares. As long as I'm not a popular. I better give you a name first..
Dear Blueberry sounds weird..
Dear Orange.. Wow.
Dear.. Cherry? Hey! Dear Cherry. Your name shall be THE ULTIMATE CHERRY (( Well you being a normal Cherry is better... )).
I am Cinnamon Rhindstones, the most fabulous derp!
Oh yes. And I have just arrived at my new home! Yay. Noticed any sarcasm? I had to come here with my darned mother and my obnoxious siblings. Typical. Here was what Mom said.
I'm gonna make my Mom's chat brown. Why do I call her mom? Its MUM! I'm gonna be green because its so beautiful.
Mum : So Cinnamon, How do you think today at school will be like?
Me : Wait.. What time is it?!?!
Mum : Only just midnight. You go to bed now, I will prepare breakfast at 7:00AM.
Ok. I mean.. What the fur?!?! No wonder I was tired. Time to sleep for my health.
Oh, Before I go, Why did I find you on my bed? Must be the delivery men. Anyway, goodnight.
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