Art shop texts ~ In highly need of critique.

[Vazchu]

I'm currently reworking my art shop because I had a good day in school (yay). And I sort of went overkill with it and ended up starting somewhat a story with the texts for it.

However, the problem is the simple fact that I'm not fluent in English when it comes to writing and speaking it (but I'm fluent when it comes to reading and hearing it). And for some reason I do believe that I made an attempt to write in present tense. Which is something I haven't done for a story for many,many,many years. So I am in highly need of critique because of that.

I'm not sensitive, not when it comes to hearing critique from people (man, school today was proof that people were impressed how well I take critique and use it to my advantage in order to become better). So yeah, just tell me anything and everything you think, feel, and so forth when you read them, either here in this thread or through a PM. Because I really do want to know how off I am with my grammar and if the "story" is understandable at all. I'm sort of in love with everything that happened with the text I wrote and was like "heck, I can't write like this in just the introduction post, I want it to be my entire shop. I want to turn the entire thing into a story, it would be so much more fun and I have never seen anyone else do this before, so I have to try it".

In case any questions or such regarding any of the chapters appears after reading it, please don't be afraid to ask about it and I'll do my best to reply to it. :3

Thank you for your time and thanks a lot in advance!

Edit February 20; So now that it has been a while since I wrote this I came to realize that I might need to have more posts in the actual shop to shorten them and make it easier to navigate in the thread. I won't do it here though, but yeah ... Just wanted to mention that, because now it feels like "All-knowing Chroniclers and Ink" will turn out way too long when some more stuff has been added to that part.

[Vazchu]

Chapter one ~ Welcome to our mind

“Greetings visitor; and welcome to a place like no place on Eldemore.”
A voice, you cannot tell where it comes from in the old looking house you just entered out of curiosity. As you look around you find yourself all alone in its candle lit darkness; leaving you questioning if you have gone mad when you entered the house. Regretting your choice to step foot within this wretched place, you turn around again and just as you are about to leave; a shadow flies by the corner of your eye. However, when you turn around to face it, you are left staring in a dusty mirror. Your own reflection tries to embrace you and an uneasy feeling creeps along your spine. The candles beside it flicker and seem to almost laugh at your disappointment for not seeing anything else there.
“I see that you have found your way to our small corner of this world; we are most honoured to have you here with us and we are here to serve you however you see fit,” in the mirror you can see your own reflection moving its mouth. The voice echoes through the formerly silent room, but it is not your own. It is without a doubt the voice you heard just as you came through the threshold and the bell had made your presence known to the shop keeper.
A tad uneasy you gaze around yourself once more, there truly is no one else in the house. You are alone.
“What may we do for you today, Master?”
“Who are you?” your voice is steady as the words leave your throat; leaving no evidence of your uneasy feeling that is creeping through your gut.
The question leaves the room in silence once more. In hopes for a reply, you decide to stand still for a short moment. A part of you wishes to know more while another part of you keeps saying that it is about time to leave.

A movement in the corner of your eye again. Quickly you turn your gaze towards it and find yourself looking at a silhouette sitting in an armchair by the unlit fireplace.
“Who are you?” you decide to try the question again.
“Oh? You want to know who I am before we start? That is a first,” this time you can clearly notice that the voice comes from the person in the armchair. “I do believe it is only proper to introduce oneself from the very beginning … Is it not …? I go by many names.”
Before your very eyes the silhouette vanishes from the armchair, only to re-appear standing by the old desk with piles of books and scrolls. In the light from the candle laughing at you from its throne on the desk, you can hardly make out the face below the hood. All you can see are some braided locks of copper coloured hair and pale skin around a vague smiling mouth.
“I can be anyone you want me to be. However, I am the one named Vazchu …” the person before you looked up and for the first time you face the green eyes hiding in the shadows under the hood. “Of course, Master, you may call me Vaz or Caius if you prefer any of those names … As I said, I can be anyone you want me to be.”
Silently you step forward; even though the person behaves oddly you cannot find any traces of ill intentions.
“I create and that is something I do in more ways than one.” Vaz say with a gesture and all the candles in the shop lit up all at once and the fireplace let a warm fire come to life within its core. “Make yourself at home and let us get down to business, Master.”

[Vazchu]

Chapter two ~ The scrolls and beings longing to belong

The scrolls
After Vaz had disappeared through the door in the back of the room to get some refreshments, you began to study the objects in the old shop.
Your attention turns to the old scrolls and books on the desk, Vaz will not notice if you take a peek in some of them. They have not returned yet after all. A few of the scrolls and notebooks are open in plain sight, which catches your attention even more. Quickly you cast a fast gaze upon them and read the words written in black ink with letters that are hard to make out. Vaz truly does not have a very readable handwriting, you note to yourself when you lean closer to be able to read the scrolls.



Beings loning to belong ~ Version one, no one at home.
When Vaz appears to take such a long time to get back from the door in the back of the shop, you decide to just take a quick peek through it. Slowly you go closer, listening if you can hear anything from the other side. When you do not hear anything, you open the door slowly and peek into the darkness on the other side. To your disappointment you cannot see anything at all and out of respect you close it and return to your chair by the desk.



Beings loning to belong ~ Version two, the lil' one needs a home.
When Vaz appears to take such a long time to get back from the door in the back of the shop, you decide to just take a quick peek through it. Slowly you go closer, listening if you can hear anything from the other side. A vague sound makes its way through the wooden door. It is not the sound a human being like Vaz would make and this only fuels your curiosity even more. Slowly you open the door and peek inside. A rather large room with barely any furniture at all is what you find behind it. Candles resting among the glass shards in a large chandelle cast its light upon the entire room. At the other end you notice Vaz who’s watching you where they sit upon the stairs leading to the upper floors of the house. Ashamed you turn your gaze down and is about to return to your chair by the desk in the other room.
“I wondered how long it would take you to show up in here, Master,” Vaz say, no traces of anger can be noticed in their voice; in fact, they sound almost happy to see you. When you decide to face them again, you notice a smile over their lips. “You would not happen to know anyone who would be interested in this little fellow? I do not have the time to care for it and the lil’ one longs for a place to belong.”
Vaz makes a gesture towards a wolf that you did not notice at all the first time you looked through the room.

[Vazchu]

Chapter three ~ Glittering objects and old Scrolls

Glittering objects
After returning in silence to the other room you sit down once more in your chair by the desk while Vaz closes the door. As they sit down by the desk a cup of reddish tee in a beautifully painted cup appears in front of you on the desk, perfectly between two piles of books. You cast a gaze towards Vaz and notice that they too have a cup, however, unlike you they had already began to sip the warm liquid while looking at the bad handwriting in some of the scrolls and books.
“There we are …” Vaz say suddenly and reaches for one of the scrolls. “You should read this one, Master.”
The scroll is handed over to you and you open it slowly in order not to break the old parchment. Black ink in the same handwriting as on all the other scrolls appears before you soon after and you recognize it as Vaz’ work again. In silence you read what is written, but you can feel that Vaz has rested their eyes upon you and it disturbs your concentration a tad.



Old Scrolls
As soon as you have lowered the scroll and you turn your gaze towards Vaz once more, you notice that vague everlasting smile of theirs.
“Good, then I shall leave you for a while so you can decide whether or not we shall do business, Master. I do believe you need a moment to decide,” Vaz say and stand up, still holding their cup of reddish tee. “You may be able to decide after looking through some of those scrolls over there.”
Vaz makes a gesture that you follow with your gaze, it leads your eyes towards the bookshelves surrounding the fireplace like guardians. Slowly you stand up, taking the cup of tee from the desk and walk towards them.
“Shall I look in all of them?” you ask, placing your cup upon the fireplace after taking a sip.
Your fingertips steaks the old parchment of the scrolls and the few old books that are resting peacefully in the bookshelf.
“As many as you need in order to make a decision,” Vaz say but when you thought they still would be standing by the desk, you notice that they are gone once more.
After spending this past hour in the shop you have almost come to accept that you probably never will grasp Vaz fully. Instead you look upon the scrolls again, lifting one that catches your eye. Blowing some of the dust away you open it, looking at its content. After repeating it over and over again you loose track of the time and find yourself lost within worlds and places that you never have seen before. Memories of old.

[Vazchu]

Chapter four ~ All-knowing Chroniclers and Ink

The photographs that are not photographs at all.
Some time later, you truly do not know and a part of you do not wish to know how much time you have put to waste while looking through scroll after scroll. In fact, you do not even know whether it is day or night any longer, time seems to be of no importance for you.
“Have you come to a decision yet, Master?” you jump up from the armchair by the fireplace where you have been sitting for the past few hours; you did not expect to hear Vaz' voice all of a sudden.
“Ah, yes, as a matter of fact I wish to speak to you regarding that matter … You did show me the currencies you accept, however, you failed to mention how much it costs,” you say as you close the scroll you last opened, placing it on the small table by the armchair.
“Oh yes I did …” Vaz who is standing by their desk again starts to look through some of the books. “I apologize about that ... One moment please … It should be here somewhere.”
While Vaz is busy to find the book they are looking for, you stand up and decide to put back all the scrolls in their proper place. When you are done, you return to your chair by the desk and sit down. Your eyes follows every movement Vaz makes while they let their pale fingertips follow line after line in book after book during their search.
“Here we are, finally. I must remember to not re-organize things as often as I do …” you feel like barely any of the words spoken are meant for you, they seem to be meant for Vaz’ own good.
A book with brown leather cover, decorated in golden details is handed to you and on the page that is open a list has been written down with care. You read the list as Vaz sits down in their chair on the other side of the desk.



The thoughts about someone who as not yet been born.
“And what about … Well … You may know what I mean …” you look up from the book and turn your gaze towards Vaz who is patting a small odd looking creature on its head.
You have no idea how long that creature has been present in the room, but little do you care as it is of no importance.
“Creations, correct?” Vaz ask without turning their eyes away from the small creature. “Just keep reading in the book I just gave you, all has been written down in there.”
“I apologize,” you say and turn to the book again, and there you notice what you seek the answers for.



A hidden list.
When reading in the book Vaz provided you with, you notice a list on some of the pages that looks as if it does not belong with the rest of the text. Still, you decide to read it in case it is important.



Newsletters
Your attention wanders from the book in your hands to some notes on the desk. In case Vaz do not wish for you to read it, you try to do so unnoticeable. Better safe than sorry, after all.



Ink.
After reading just about anything you thought useful from the book Vaz provided you with, you feel content and turn your gaze towards them for what may be the last time.
“Your eyes tell me that you have made your decision, Master,” Vaz say, this time it is you who smile a vague smile.
“Indeed, I have,” you say. “I wish to do business with you.”
A vague smile appears on Vaz’ lips once again, they pick up an inkhorn, a feather pen and an old notebook. All of them are handed over to you and some of the piles of books move aside to make place for you to write.
“Very well, let us get started then, shall we?” Vaz say as you dip the tip of the feather in the black ink.
When you place it over the notebook to think for a short moment about what to write and which questions to answer, a drop of ink makes its way to the paper. It flows out like a black drop of blood and while looking at it, you realize that you know exactly what to write.

[Vazchu]

Chapter five ~ Empty spaces

Something is coming as a whisper, far away yet so close that you almost can touch its emptiness. Something invisible like a lone ghost, quietly, yet at the same time the noise is gathering in full strength all around. You wonder what it is, yet you cannot seem to find the answer; instead you decide to patiently wait for it to show itself. Perhaps it will do so, soon. Wait, it seems like the only thing you can do.

[Vazchu]

Chapter six ~ Everlasting memories

You do not really know why, but for some reason you are still around in the old shop even though Vaz is no where to be seen. They are probably working with your order, or perhaps someone else’s order. You do not know for sure.
As many times before, you are lurking around the bookshelves covering the walls of the badly lit shop. When you stop before one of the bookshelves, an old book catches your eye quickly. Its brown spine with silver details and embedded green crystals or glass shards stands out among all the other not-as-detailed spines. Without your own awareness your hand makes its way to it, picking it down from the shelf. The book rests in your hand while the fingertips to the other streaks the golden letters on its dark coloured cover.
“Everlasting memories …?” you utter the words in a whisper as you read the title out loud. “… I never heard about this one before.”
Curiosity gripping hold of your innermost thoughts and you open it, reading its secrets.