- xxx we stood there, there in the empty apartment.
watching each other to see if any of us would move.
my breathing had hitched. my entire body was paralyzed.
had he really just said that?
did he think this was the moment
to say those words?
was he even thinking?
right after i had poured myself
a cup of coffee, right after i said
i need to go pick up the groceries,
right after i said, 'nice place.'
he said that?
the boy, the best friend, the brother i never had,
suddenly turned into a man,
said those few words.
the coffee mug burned into my hands.
i had an inch on the back of my head.
i had the urge to just laugh and brush it off.
but i resisted, and stood there
looking back into his hazel eyes.
how dare he?
how dare he do this to me?
how dare he make me view him differently,
after all the years we've known each other.
after the fact that he was my best friend's brother.
after all the struggles i've had to endure of
pushing away my feelings for him in the past;
and once i had finally calmed them down..
those few words stirred them right back up.
it was too real to handle.
tears began to form, and i felt the sudden touch of his
hands on my shoulders. he buried his face in my tangled
hair, whispering 'i'm sorry.'
it made me cry even more.
i have had fantasies of when maybe
the two of us confessed in a cliche manor.
i dreamed of us eloping,
running away with only our love.
but when he said those words -- it was too much.
too real.
i thought i would be the one to say it.
i thought, he would be the one to turn me down.
we stood there, there in the empty apartment.
he hugged me tight from behind as i held my cup of joe.
my eyes were red, and as i said ' those awful words.
he let go, grabbed his bag, and walked away.
