{{ CONTEST SUBMISSIONS }}

[GizmoTheDragon]

This is the thread for the Diary Parody Contest submissions. ^-^ ONLY entrees should be posted here. You want to chat, do it at the HQ!

For sake of convenience, please title your work and put it in that nifty little "Subject" box above your post. It makes it easier to find them all individually! Please put the title of your work in the subject box of the entrees of all the rounds you post here, thank you!

Let the games begin!

[GizmoTheDragon]

This post is reserved :3

You can post now though.

[watermelon.]

--

[Meowdle]

Hey! I'm Tyle, but please, just call me HAIRY POTTER! So, I just found this completely empty journal randomly on the side of the road, so I just took it It's not stealing if it was just sitting there, and I was obviously destined to take it. By the way, it's NOT a diary, and if you call it that I will use magical powers on you! This is a wizard's journal. Anyways, I'll tell you a little about myself. I'm a wizard! Ok, maybe not, but still, ONE DAY I WILL BE A WIZARD! MAGIC IS REAL I TELL YOU! Ok, so let's move on to my family


This is my dad. He's acts normal and stuff, but he MUST be secretly hiding the fact that our family HAS to be actually wizards.


This is mom. She usually doesn't talk much and I don't get to see her much since it seems that she's at work 24/7. I think she just doesn't talk because she's afraid to spill a secret about me being a wizard.


This is my sister. Her name is Jane. She's really nerdy and she's on her computer or her phone almost ALL the time. She's even on during class, and the teachers don't even care! The only time she gets off is when she's inventing something. Come on, why invent stuff if we can just learn magic or something?????


This is my EVIL brother. His name is Cooper. He's always rude and at school he acts like he doesn't even know me! He must be a Slythern!!!! My advice, don't mess with him. He's even a jock at school and lots of girls have a crush on him, even though he's extremely mean! Gosh, he does NOT deserve it.

One day I shall be a wizard, ONE DAY! THEN MY BROTHER WILL WISH HE WASN'T ALWAYS SO RUDE TO ME!

Oh, and this is the awesomest person EVER (besides me)


Okay, this is my best friend Sparkle. I know, his name sound girly, so everyone usually just calls him Sparky (except the evil populars). He's really funny and he can usually cheer me up after a bad day. He even wears a fake arrow on his head all the time and the teachers don't even care! Come to think of it, I don't think the teachers really care about anything, except maybe getting us into trouble....

Anyways, talk to you later journal! (hopefully I will get powers or something by then) Bye!

[VesVes]

OH. MY. GOD. MY SUMMER IS RUINED!!!!!

Okay. Let me start from the beginning.

My name is Corine Atkinson. You can definitely call me a city slicker, as I have been living in the big city my entire life. It’s so wonderful! Shops everywhere, wonderful friends, stuff to do…so much better than being out in nature! I’m sixteen years old. My favorite activities include shopping, going to the beach, getting my hair done, and hanging out with friends. My grades are okay, but who cares? Oh, and my favorite food is chocolate ice cream with sprinkles from this place called Sugar Ice. It’s so good! I go there almost every day with by bestie.

And here she is! This is Hillary Monroe. She is absolutely fantastic. She’s a little boy-crazy (actually no, she’s very boy-crazy), funny, flamboyant, and just all around awesome. She dyes her hair all the time, and is pretty much known as the Snark Queen at my school. We go everywhere together, from clothing stores to Sugar Ice to the beach. It’s fantastic! Oh, and she’s rich as well…and guess where she invited me! A TRIP TO THE BAHAMAS FOR THE WHOLE SUMMER! Squee! I’ve already packed my bags in advance. I’m going to be leaving in a week!

But today when I got home from school was when it all came crashing down.

So I got home, yeah. I guess I shall introduce my family.

So these are my parents. On the left is my mom, Elnora, and on the right is my dad, Fredrick. They are often at work. Mom works for an advertising agency, while Dad is more into cars. Usually they’re not home when I get home, but today was different.

“Oh, you’re home,” I commented as I flung my school bag on the couch. My parents were all smiles as they invited me to sit down, moving my bag out of the way. I wasn’t quite sure how to react. It seemed like they had good news, but what?

“Honey, we have excellent news,” Mom told me, still smiling. “We’ve enrolled you and your sisters into a summer camp! It’s going to be so fun!”

My jaw dropped. This cannot be happening. “A summer camp?” I choked.

“For the whole summer,” Dad confirmed, still smiling.

“No!” I jumped up, and the smiles started to disappear from my parents’ faces. “I was supposed to go to the BAHAMAS! With Hillary! How could you do this to me?”

“Now Corine,” Dad said sternly. “Your mother and I paid good money for this. It will be a great experience, a good chance to spend more time with your sisters, make some new friends, and try new things. Life isn’t just about shopping and spending money.”

“That’s not fair!” I cried indignantly, running a hand through my hair. “And why do they have to come?”

By the way, these are my 10-year-old sisters. They’re twins. Carly is on the left, and Caitlin is on the right. They are devils. Annoying, pretentious little beasts that do nothing but cause trouble and throw tantrums if things don’t go their way. And I’m supposed to spend my summer supervising them at a camp when I should be in my bathing suit with my best friend tanning on the beach in the Bahamas? No way!

Speak of the devils, the twin terrors came crashing in. And of course, when Mom and Dad told them the news, they just whooped and jumped all around and just acted completely obnoxious.

“We’re going to a camp, we’re going to a camp!” they chanted at the top of their lungs.

“Shut up!” I yelled at them. Carly stuck her tongue out at me.

So apparently, according to my parents, the camp we’re going to is Camp Newman, a summer camp out in the middle of the woods with no wifi and a bunch of people with either no dignity or no other choice. I obviously fall into the latter category. I'm also guessing that it will be filled with little kids--most places like this are. Ages ten to eighteen? More like ten to eleven.

To entertain myself, my mom bought me this. A diary. It is nowhere near Pawbook or Instadog, but I suppose when I get back I will post everything I write in here. But before I could sulk in my room, I had to call Hillary to tell her the bad news.

“Hey girl, what’s up?” Hillary’s voice issued out of the phone.

“Look, I’m incredibly sorry, but I can’t come to the Bahamas with you and your family. My parents are making me go to this stupid summer camp instead.”

“Ohh.” Hillary’s voice became instantly sympathetic. “That really sucks. I’m so sorry.”

“I know, right?” I responded angrily. “And what’s worse is that I have to go with my stupid sisters as well!”

“That really sucks! I feel for you, girl! And if I can call internationally, I’ll be sure to give you a call!”

I smiled. “Thanks. I just hope there’s a signal.”

“Don’t worry; I’m sure there will be! Parents will want to call their kids at camp, right?”

I nodded. Good point. “Yeah, you’re right. Hey, this whole thing might not be so bad, right?”

“That’s the spirit! Ah, my mom’s calling me. Talk to you soon, okay girl? Bye!”

“Bye!” With that, both Hillary and I hung up.

To be honest, I’m still not looking forward to this. Oh well, I can only hope that things won’t be as bad as they seem. Hey, maybe something good might actually happen!

SUCH AS MY PARENTS SUDDENLY DECIDING I CAN GO TO THE BAHAMAS WITH HILLARY AGAIN

Bye for now, Diary...

[Coolpaw5]

Hello. I am Char- THIS IS BORING.

Ah, some color. So let's try this again. My name's Charlotte and I know I look like a stupid third grader, but I'm actually in high school.

I'm not like some super genuis because I just spelled genius wrong and I used pen. Great. Anyway, I didn't skip any grades and I am actually the correct age to enter high school. 15. I just have this stupid disease called 'PPS'. It stands for the Peter Pan Syndrome. Well, it's not a disease, because I don't have to take any medicine or anything, but it's just something that allows me to be in my 'puppy' stage forever.

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy /sarcasm/

Some people say it's a gift because I will stay young forever, but seriously? Who wants to look like a third grader for the rest of their lives? I don't. Plus, do you know how hard it is to find clothes that fit you? I demand not to go into the kid section, but I end up going there. Sadly.

Anyway, I'm going to be like most teenage girls trapped in a tiny body and say that this is NOT a diary, because if I didn't say that the entire series would be ruined and this only the first post. So... My name's Charlotte, so this shall be my web.

Hehe, get it? Charlotte's Web?
Just read the book.

Well, I'm starting my first day of high school today, and I'm eating breakfast right now. Guess I'll write in you after Captain Crunch gets eaten by me. MWAHHSHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
. . . Kay bye.

______________________ (really long line) ________________________

Hey I'm backkkk! Did you miss me? :D No? Well then...


Anyway, it's 'break' right now, and I'm sitting inside my locker writing here. I am luckily small enough to actually lie down in here. I could take a nap in here! :D Wait, right, right, sorry, Anyway, I am sitting inside here to tell you ALLLLL about my day. I have a deep. Dark. Secret. *dun dun dunnnn*

I'll tell you if you PINKY PROMISE NOT TO TELL ANYONE! (Omigosh I do sound like a third grader) Anyway, my dark secret is....

That I am afraid of the dark. DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING THAT IS ESPECIALLY AS SOMEONE LIKE ME/1!?!?!?! I mean, I already look like a kid, don't need to push it. But, there's just something about the dark.

It's... dark. .__. Okay, it's super weird, and I need to keep the light on when I sleep, and yeah. I personally blame my supersonic ears because when it's dark, I can hear like creaks of the door, and small footsteps... *shivers* Weirrddd!

So, I should start from the very beginning. *sits on one of those comfy chairs in detective shows on tv* When it all began... Wait, I'm getting sick of this blue. Let me go to purple (I have a whole pack)

Okay there we go, anyway... I'm going to talk in blue, because, all diary heroines talk in some shade of blue, so yeah. If I talked in pink or something, everybody would freak out. Oh, and I'm not going to write like, "She said," or "He gasped" or "He farted in tune to the song, 'Yankee Doodle'" or something like that, because I already have a low grade in writing, and I don't want you to suffer like that.

Me: *le-walking to school*
Weird girl wearing like 7 tons of make-up: *steps in front of me*



Me: .___. Excuse me, but your tail is blocking my face.
Weird girl: Oh! The elementary school is over there. This is the high school. *Completely fake smile*
Me: Oh, do you need me to hold your hand when you cross the street? Little kids shouldn't be here. This is a high school after all. *Fake smile*
Weird girl: *eye twitch* Umm, little brat, I suggest you go over there now before I call my bae to beat you up.
Me: Yeah, too bad I go to this school. Now get out of my way.
Weird Girl: HA! You?! You're so puny. What the heck, how do you even go here?
Me: I got here by walking, thanks.
Weird girl: *laughs some more* I mean, why are you so tiny?
Me: Why is your brain tiny?
Weird girl: Really? I have an A+ in every subject, so explain how that makes me 'un-smart'?
Me: Why did you just quote that, I never said that.
Weird girl: Yeah, but you meant it.
Me: Did I? I don't know, anyway, can you go bother someone else right now? I'm kinda busy going to school.
Weird girl: Of course.

And she walked to the side, so I started walking to school, then she stuck her paw out and TRIPPED ME!

Me: >.> Such an immature joke.
Weird Girl: You're calling me immature? *laughs with friends*

I couldn't help it. I just went straight up to her and stepped on her tail. A yelp of pain has never felt so satisfying before.

Weird girl: UGHHH! I WILL, GET BACK AT YOU!
Me: Can't wait for it.

I walked to school, and everything was fine and dandy until second period.

Teacher: Class, we have a new student, named Charlotte. Do you have a preferred nickname?
Me: No, Charlotte's fine.
Teacher: We should assign you a buddy to show you around...
Me: Oh no, that's fine-
Teacher: Paula! That should be a perfect buddy! She's the one in the corner over there. Don't worry, she will be one of the nicest girls you would ever meet.

I followed the general direction in which her finger was pointing in. It fell on...



Oh no.

______________________________________________

Short intermission! I have to get all the characters dressed up for the next scene, lol.
So as you can tell, Charlotte is a bit more... stable then Cassandra is. (If you didn't read my other story, forget it)
She's kind of more, mature even though she looks like a 'third-grader'. And, what kind of pet diary would this be if there was no queen bee that is not really that gorgeous but she is worshiped anyway? Lol. Anyway...
Ummmmm... Back to the show! *cheesy music fades*

______________________________________________

That was.. weird, some girl just shoved me out of my seat, wrote something in my web, then walked away. o.O I really should lock my locker when I hide inside of it. Anyway, where was I? Oh right!

Me: Her?!
Teacher: yes, her. Her name's Paula, and she is one of the most beautiful, the most graceful, the most wonderful, the most smartest, the most coolest, the most-
Me: ._________________. Omifreakingosh, this is just like all of the other diaries I have read before.
Paula: Hey buddyyy! Nice to meet you! *Reallllly scary smile*
Me: .o. Hey teach, can I have a new buddy?
Teacher: Now why would you want that? Paula is the most beautiful, the most graceful-
Me: Yeah, you told me. UGHHHHHHH.
Paula: Come on buddy, it's time for lunch!
Me: Wait, class just started-
Paula: Teach, I'm grabbing a hall pass! I don't expect to be back until class is over! Send my homework and Charlotte's over to the nerds! Thanks!
Teacher: No problem Paula! Have fun!

So she dragged me to the cafe, and she ordered a full meal, while I just ordered a small smoothie.

Paula: So, Charlotte. Tell me, why are you so short?
Me: ._. You sure are straight-forward. Let a girl drink her smoothie, alright? *sips*
Paula: *waits three seconds* So why are you so short?
Me: UGHHH! Why do you want to know so badly?!
Paula: Because you're weird, and I want to know how weird people survive in the big bad world. I mean, only the popular and most beautiful truly live, but weird people could survive. People who are just plain normal, are left to die.
Me: That sounded like a beautiful quote except for the 'only populars live and everyone else dies' thing.
Paula: So, why?
Me: I was hired as one of Santa's elf.

Paula: .______. Okay, I got what I was looking for. Prepare to die.
Me: o.O What the heck?

So, she skipped away, and I was just staring at the back of head at it got smaller the farther she got away. I finished my smoothie, and went back to math class. Nothing really happened until lunch. I walked to a bench in the corner of the cafeteria and got out my lunch. Peanut butter and jelly! Yummm! I was going to take my first bite, until I saw something that almost made me lose my appetite. Almost is the key word. I was super hungry, and I was going to eat that sandwich no matter what showed up in front of me.

Paula: Hi again! *fake smile cue*
Me: Hey...
Paula: Come with me!

She led me behind this table thingy, and she bent down. It looked like she wanted me to bend down as well, so I did.

Paula: Awwww.
Me: What?
Paula: It's just that now you look like an even shorter puppy.
Me: >.> Shut up, why did you bring me here?
Paula: I think you looking like a puppy fits, since you are afraid of the dark.
Me: What? Pssh! What kind of teenager is afraid of the dark? I mean we're like 14 or 15 years old already!
Paula: Funny. Considering I found it in your diary. *holds up... you.*
Me: *LE-GASP!*
Paula: Shocked? I found it in your locker earlier today-
Me: HOW DARE YOU CALL IT A DIARY, IT IS A WEBBBBB!!!!!!
Paula: >.> Of course. You know, my friend, Sally, knows this girl named Cassandra who had a Potato. Between you and me, Cassie is kinda *does circle motion with hand* crazy. If you know what I mean.
Me: Can we get back on topic?
Paula: Right, anyway, I plan to tell EVERYONE about your little fear. In case they haven't treated you like a little kid enough already.
Me: . . . Then what?
Paula: I have something much bigger planned as well. Much, much bigger. *evilly laughs* I will kill your social rating, and ensure that you would never make friends.

I felt this sudden urge to stomp on her foot again.

Paula: OW!
Everybody in the cafeteria stares at us: O.O
Me: Oops?
Everybody: D:<

Well, now I learned. Attack the queen, and the rest of the country's idiots glare and hate you and attack you. This is why small country never attack bigger and more powerful countries. Have I told you that I think reallllly strangely? Well, I do. Anyway... Here I am. Hiding out in my small shelter until the war I brewed has calmed down. Well, I'll write in you after I manage to get out of this dang locker alive.

__________________________________________________

Hey I'm back againn! This time, I'm writing on my bed. Yupp! Anyway, when I got back from school,


Mom: Hey sweetie! How was school?
Me: Great except for the fact that I have the entire school after my head.
Mom: What?!

Shoot, I forgot one of the most important rules of being a teenager. Never tell your parents anything. They will question everything, and demand an update every single day.

Me: I mean... The whole school wants my head, because I'm so smart you see. *reallly bad poker face*
Mom: Oh. Okay. Did you make any new friends?
Me: No.
Mom: What?! Oh, it's because you're shy, isn't it?
Me: Mom, I'm not shy-
Mom: Yes you are! You just like, hide in a tiny corner and not open up at all.
Me: Mom-
Mom: You have to make as many friends as you can now! While everyone else is making friends, so you can get more!
Me: Mom! Think of this as a company. I'm a small little company that's moving on a bustling city. People everywhere, all running their own business as well. You can merge with them, and make both of your company bigger. You're method is to keep getting as many businesses with you, so you can merge with them, and the both of you would become stronger and earn more money.
Mom: Uh-huh.
But what if, the business, the one you depend on for supply, suddenly decide to redraw their contract, and join another strong rival business. Now, your entire business is off-scale, thus making you more busy as ever. This may disrupt the other businesses that you are working with, and they may break off of your company, and decide to desert you. You are slowly losing money, and losing supplies. Now, you are alone. Back to square one. But only now, it's three times harder because all of the other businesses are made, and nobody's really looking to add to their company. You are to spend the next four years alone, and poor because of that one business.
Mom: ._____. Wow. Umm... That was a very interesting way to describe making friends.
Me: Yup. Which is why I am waiting for one good business to come along, to merge with, and we can be happy friends! Oh look we're home! Got some homework to do! Byeeeee

I heard my mom mutter something about my PPS disease altering the way I think. *rolling of the eyes are in process*

And now I'm here. That's my day. Oh yeah, you might be wondering where I got this GLORIOUS journal from. Well, it was a gift from my pen-pal from Hawaii. I live on California. She says that I have to write in this or else she is personally going to fly here just to slap me for not using it. Well, I guess I should get going now. I'll see you later journal! :D

* * *

Did you like it? Also the title, Charlotte's Web xD hahaha. Okay bye.

[CookieCat000]

Okay, testing one two three, is this how we write? it is? woah, how did I even remember to write!?
Um okay, I guess its on? Yes it is... uh...

Hello im Cookie... my mum gave me this thingy ma bob to write in,

HELLO RANDOM KITTEN WRITING IN ME, WELCOME TO YOUR NEW DIARY OF DOOM!

HEY! IGNORANT BLACK WRITING! WHO SAID THIS WAS A DIARY? I CLEARLY STATED IT IS A PENGUIN!

Why does everyone call their diaries something wired ._. Atleast its not a name of a food this time.

Shoo! I seriously did NOT write that, it just randomly came up!

Anyways, yeah im Cookie and the last thing I actually remember was being thrown by Gold, ill introduce her later, my mother thinks I have this thing called amnesia which is memory loss, sadly she is right cause I remember nothing WHATSOEVER!
And she said she was gonna send me to high school tomorrow even though I got amnesia, but... I mean seriously? Why? Even with amnesia im smart enough to know im WAYY too young to even go to highschool!

Well, maybe its possible whoever I was is a pure genius who is extremely young and skipped 2 or 3 grades to go to highschool. Anyways, here is my family that my mum told me about.


This is mum, shes quite beautiful, but fierce cause one of the last things I remember was her screaming to Gold "HEY! WHAT THE APPLE IS WRONG WITH YOU!?! NEVER THROW YOUR SISTER LIKE THAT AGAIN! NOW SHE GOT AMNESIA!" yep, those are the exact words.


This is my older sister, Silver, from what I heard, I think shes awesome, well apparently, shes a bit smart, really likes chocolate, is a lot nicer than Gold and she is good at swimming which I don't even think is normal for a cat, I haven't met her yet, oh wait I obviously have but since I lost my memor-
YOU TOLD THEM THAT 9000 TIMES WE KNOW!
.____________. Wired black writing, get out of my penguin, now. Is it gone? I think it is, anyways back to the subject:

I don't remember meeting her, ironic isn't it?

Okay so now THIS is Gold, apparently she had thrown me causing me to loose my memory. She is quite a meanie! And she keeps stealing that gingerbread teddy I think I had loved since I was 3 and I apparently probably had to get him back from her 10000 times!

Okay, I think that's all I wanted to write in this penguin right now so... bye? Bye bye.

Did you like it? Also heres a spoiler on what her high school would be like, DONT LOOK!

Code: Select all

So apparently it is an RPG high school, that's all I can tell you.

[derision]

Ugh, your the WORST Mom. -- ??
Say that again, Jupiter, and you will be grounded. -- Mom
Ugh, its a Diary! Cameron will tell the whole world. -- Jupiter
Well, then just call it something else! Like a.. Cardinal. Or a.. -- Mom
Blue Jay? -- Jupiter
Yes! What about a Green Jay? -- Mom
What the fudge is a Green Jay?! -- Jupiter
Look it up, genius. -- ??
Go away, Venus. >:C -- Jupiter
Make me, you green eyed freak. -- Venus
I am NOT a freak! -- Jupiter
Enough kids! Gosh, go to your rooms. Take the diary with you. -- Mom
:O You got a diary? Sissy! -- Venus

Haha, so, I feel stupid lacking the fact I had no idea what a Green Jay is. They look cool... So, did you like our little family time? Hmph. So hi. My name is Jupiter. I pasted a school picture of me above. (They made a techo difficulty. The mountains stick out. :\) Well, you kind of met half my family. Here, I stole pictures of them.

This. Is Mom. She is the third one with wings in our family.


This is Dad. I get my looks mainly from him.


Venus.. My horribly mean sister.


This is Sage. She is really cool, and laid back. Probably my favorite sister.


This is Pluto. He is probably every single non-popular girl's crush. He takes off after Mom. A LOT.


Meet Mars. This is my Sister who doesn't give a crap about ANY one else.

Met my family? Cool. I don't understand why Sage wasn't given a planet name.. Lucky her. Well, at least people outside of home call me Lucky! So, I guess I will write about Cameron now. D:<

Cameron.. The player that every girl loves. He.. Well, isn't my type. At all. He cusses as if its cool on the bus, and usually wears shades. At least I blocked him on Instapaw! Meh, its also NOT girly to have a Instapaw and a Green Jay. Its TOTALLY normal. As also is the fact he always intimidates me over my crush.. Mallory.

She may not be pretty, but she is beautiful in the inside <3


Well, by by GJ!

[MTT-Brand Cute Juice]

Note: The thing said the character must fulfill the cliche circumstances. It did not say the character had to be cliche. Just for confusion.

Hi! I'm Catie.



I'm so pretty e.e You want me to tell you about my life? Seriously? Alright, I SHALL DO WHAT YOU ASK. Well, we just moved here, and GUESS WHATTTTTTTTT

Around the house, I act like some totally crazy cliche queen bee meany girl. And my parents buy it. Ugh, now you want to see my family? Well, FINEEEEEEEEEEE


This is Mom, she's very kind and everything, but she's very gullible and would never think of someone tricking her. She wants only the best for her daughter, (me! ) so she gets me and my (imaginary) sister everything she hears us wishing for. I wish she was tougher.


He's my dad. He's wearing a tux because I got this pic right before he left for a business trip... AGAIN. He divorced Mom when I was 7, but I never really liked him. He only pays attention to work. Work, work, work. Heck, you'd think he's the President.


This is Walter, my stepdad. Quite frankly, I wish he was my "real" dad. He's super nice - but unfortunately he's an underpaid journalist, so it's hard to pay for our family. If Mom didn't work, we'd be on the streets, with a sign: "No money, need food."

So, I went to my new high school in the morning, like any other dog, when...

*** ~ INTERMISSIONNNNNN! To prevent further interruption, I have been asked to explain. One day, Catie decided to pretend to be - you guessed it - a totally cliche snob. Andddddd it stuck. Her parents would freak if she stopped now. And why is there no drawing of her imaginary sister? She changes her appearance every day. She's hit every animal on CS over the years, but her favorites are the August Lion PPS, the Drink Me, and the Moonswirl. She likes to be famous. ... Back to the show! *cheezy gameshow music fading* ~ ***



Glen: Are you the new student? I'm Glen.
Me: Hmmm... this might be fun! I'll just play snotty, like I do at home. Um, like, no! I'm, like, totes the queen of this school. And now she's going to laugh her head off.
Glen: *gulp* Of course, Your Majesty. Would you like to sit down?
Me: *le-gasp* But of course! I want, like, a huge beanbag. And, like, make it purple!
Glen: Y-yes, Your Majesty. I'll get it now.
Me: And, like, while you're at it, you should, like, totes tell the principal there's a, like, queen in town!
Glen: *runs off*
Me: *glances around* This is going to be so much fun.
Glen: *returns with huge pink beanbag* Here it is, Your Majesty! *pant pant*
Me: Omigosh! I asked for, like, purple!
Glen: You demanded purple. The school doesn't have any purple beanbags, Your Majesty.
Me: I, LIKE, HEARD THAT, SO, LIKE, GET ME PURPLE! NOW!
Glen: Yes, Your Majesty, of course. *very neatly paints beanbag purple* Here you go, ma'am.
Me: It's, like, "Your Majesty" to you!
Glen: Well, some crazy nerd girl out there -
Cheezy: I HEARD THAT
Glen: - is getting tired of typing "Your Majesty" whenever I talk.
Me: Do I, like, care about the author?
Cheezy: You'd better!
Me: Ugh, like, fine. But stick to, like, Miss Greatly Honored Catie, or you'll, like, feel my wrath!
Cheezy: After every sentence? Yeesh.
Me: Fine, but this is, like, the last time I make exceptions for, like, you! *sits down*
Glen: The paint's dry?
Me: The author, like, made it dry really, like, fast, so, like, deal with it. And I could use some, like, lemonade.

I'll spare you the horrible story, but basically, I just had Glen running around for me all day. If I hadn't done this, she could have been my friend, but some crazy person told the author I had to do something cliche, so I did. Did I mention I got to keep the beanbag? No? Well, I did. (the other stuff I got was like 2,000 cups of lemonade {in addition to that one!}, and maaaaaaybe a couple hundred bucks - you know why .) But, yeah, my actual non-snobbiness is a secret. Shh!

Dang, now you know about it! Wait, you're just a cat-shaped diary. You have no brain. NEVERMIND! Aw, I forgot, I need to save room to write the rest of my entries. So, BYEEEEEEEEEE!

I finally finished *fist pump* See y'all later!

[Break free;]

I was in the cafeteria when some kids were really messy and dropped a whole bar of chocolate.
I washed it off and started to write in it and it's now a diary chocolate.
People were do mean to you sweet sugar o3o.
Wait? Did I not tell you about me? Whoops!
I'm Haley Mancock.

Yeah, I'm a horrid scene, but you are pretty cool chocolate.
Anyway...Oh! i should tell you my crush, well he is

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- (___________)

oh sorry. my friend grabbed you and took a bite out........anyway......we'll see you tomorrow

Next day

woah This is what happend.
•••
I was writing in you, my chocolate, when some snobby girl walked up.
???: Hey, my friends and I were wondering if you wanted to be with us in the popualars, that would be like tots cool!
me: :O what's your name?
Cali: I'm Cali, eww! Don't write in a chocolate! Write in a potato!!!
Me: welllllllllll, I can't...I can't copy coolpaw5.
Cali: you have a week to get that thing gone!
Me: ok, ok fine.
Cali: Ok! Great. !!!!! *sashayed away*
Me: ummmmm...ok...
Next post will be on another entree