Hybrid (Please delete)

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Hybrid (Please delete)

Postby mantlepiece » Sat Jun 22, 2013 12:15 pm

Ooo, I got another idea. They've been coming out of my ears lately! Here is one story I'm writing just for fun (cause fun stories seem to last longer... If ya know what I mean). ;)
Hope you enjoy it! No copying! Please excuse any spellin or grammar problems... i did this on my phone. And be sure to give feedback... I don't get much of it, oh, and I welcome ideas for this... cause I'm not entirely sure what is going on in it. Lol! Ok, I'm going to shut my mouth now.


Edit: The idea isn't exciting enough for me to turn it into a story. But i'm still going to use it, so please don't steal.

Chapter 1

The leftover rays of sun beamed at me through multicolored leaves as I strolled down the empty street, struggling to keep the dog from dragging me along the path.
"Timmy!" I scolded the scruffy, white and coffee-brown mongrel as he tugged against the leash like a rabid maniac. He ignored me and continued pulling on the leash. I sighed in frustration and flexed my arm the held the leash.
Why couldn't my brother walk the dog? I tried to ignore Timmy and enjoy the scenery of the quiet little neighborhood. There wasn't anything special about it; creamy, one-story houses lined both sides of the skinny road, each having a patch of lush grass out front and a couple of rather large trees. The leaves that clothed the malting trees ranged from a rich red to a cheerful yellow, bringing a sense of energy with the crispy, autumn breezes. The sun began to blink out as large rain clouds gathered, threatening to wet everything within its reach. I zipped up my thin jacket.
I should head back soon. Suddenly Timmy rocketed to the left, jerking me off my feet and dragging me along grass.
"Timmy!" I growled. He halted and turned his shaggy, smiley face to me and cocked his head as of to say, 'What?' I huffed and pushed myself up from the grassy ground while brushing myself off. Wait, grassy? I thought I was walking on concrete. I gazed up and saw Timmy had pulled me partly down a long, overgrown alleyway. I looked back at the street then forward again before Timmy started straining on his leash to explore the alleyway. Being curious, I followed him down the narrow path with weeds and tall grasses covering the way; a strong wooden fence lined each side, blocking off the house's sections from the alleyway.
I'll just go to the end and then we'll go home. I decided in my mind as I tried to keep the dog at my walk speed. I could see a forest and plants at the end but nothing else.
In a few minutes, when we were at the edge of the alley, Timmy stopped so abruptly I almost tripped over him. His ears perked up and he stood as still as night, with the exception of his twitching nose. I frowned.
Did he hear a see a cat? Right in front of us was a gravel path, probably wide enough for a car, then there were thick woods on the other side of it. I rolled my eyes at Timmy and began tugging him back the way we came. But I froze when I heard voices. I must admit I do like to spy on people, have a bit of a thrill, so I couldn't help but crouch down and eavesdrop.
"-wary. You can never be too careful." A soft masculine voice warned. "Don't worry; I'm not stupid. I'll be careful." Another, more rough, masculine voice said. The other man sighed. "Right. Did you double check the... boys restraints?" "Here." I heard the sound of a car trunk opening.
What is going on? Taking my chances I peeked around the edge of the fence.
Two men stood behind a dark blue four-wheeler which was parked right outside of the back door. One man in casual, dark clothes was doing something in the trunk while another man in lighter clothes watched.
"Hold this for a moment, I need too do another knot." The guy in dark clothes with the gruff voice said, then he handed the other man a pair of handcuffs.
Something immediately clicked in me and my heart skipped a beat.
These have to be crooks! But all of a sudden, the worst happened: Timmy growled fiercely and the the two men whipped their heads around and glared right into my wide eyes. Not wasting one moment I dropped the leash, sprung up and bolted back down the alleyway. My eyes bulged with fear and adrenaline, my heart thumped wildly, my stomach flipped, making me feel sick, and sweat dampened my face. Unfortunately, I am not very fit, so Timmy quickly passed me and the heavy footsteps were catching up. Desperate, I grabbed my phone and began calling my mom, who was always at home. As soon as I the phone started ringing, I was shoved from behind, making me stumble, trip and fall on me face.
"Ah!" Cried as something sharp cut my knee. Still holding my phone, I began getting up, but powerful arms gripped me around the waist, pinning my arms against my side.
"Hello Shannon?" I heard my moms voice through the phone.
"Hel-" A hand clamped my mouth shut before I could finish my plead for help. The phone was yanked out of my sweaty hand. "Shan-" The call ended. A tear traced down my cheek as I watched Timmy dash around the corner, the leash trailing after him.
"Knock her out." A voice hissed. A sharp pain landed on my head and everything went dark.
Last edited by mantlepiece on Sat Apr 25, 2015 9:02 am, edited 3 times in total.
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for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,
Romans 3:23-24


I've loved being on CS (a bit too much) but I have people in my life that I need to prioritize, plus, I have a life that I can live if I wasn't spending so much time on here. ☺ So, i'm gonna be tying up some loose ends then leaving. Over and out!

In memory of Toviel

Does your belief suit you or reality?

Why do you really believe what you believe?

There can only be one truth. But which is it?

There is hope in Christ.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."
John 3:16, English Standard Version Bible
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Hybrid

Postby mantlepiece » Sun Aug 04, 2013 7:23 am

Chapter 2

The sound of a purring engine drained into my mind. I opened my eyes groggily, but i couldn't see a thing.
Where am I? suddenly I jostled around in whatever I was in and became aware of a horrendous pain on my head. I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my teeth as the pain ripped through all other senses.
After the pain had subsided I tried to reach a hand to my throbbing head, but they were stuck behind my back. It dawned on me what had happened.
"Oh shoot!"
"Ugh." I stiffened at the sound of a groan. Someone else was here, and they sounded hurt.
"Hello?" I squeaked while trying to peer through the thick darkness. Another groan cut through the silence. I tried struggling to a sitting position, but I felt my head brush against the top before I could get the rest of my back off the ground.
"Are you all right?" I whispered. As I paused for an answer, I picked up the faint sound of raspy breathing.
"Uugh. Is someone else there?" A young male voice said weakly. I held back a sigh of relief, glad I wasn't alone.
"Yes, you okay?" I heard him shuffle around a bit.
"As okay as I'm gonna be." He grunted. I slumped back down, giving up trying to see through the darkness.
"What's going on? Why did they kidnap us?"
"Gee, I don't know. Why don't you use your brain and think... That is, if you have one."
I scowled in the direction of the voice. "I don't think I'm the one missing a brain."
He huffed. "Just leave me alone!"
I rolled my eyes. Great. I'm stuck with a jerk.
<~>
Last edited by mantlepiece on Sat Apr 25, 2015 9:03 am, edited 4 times in total.
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
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for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,
Romans 3:23-24


I've loved being on CS (a bit too much) but I have people in my life that I need to prioritize, plus, I have a life that I can live if I wasn't spending so much time on here. ☺ So, i'm gonna be tying up some loose ends then leaving. Over and out!

In memory of Toviel

Does your belief suit you or reality?

Why do you really believe what you believe?

There can only be one truth. But which is it?

There is hope in Christ.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."
John 3:16, English Standard Version Bible
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Posts: 698
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Re: Hybrid

Postby 48844 » Sun Aug 04, 2013 8:13 am

This is pretty good. You might want to format it better, though. Starting a new paragraph when someone speaks is usually done with dialogue. At the moment, it looks like a wall of text, which is intimidating, and might scare readers away.
The writing itself is awesome, though.
http://magistream.com/user/48844 <== Magistream is here. Click if you like, but this is mostly for if Safari closes on its own again. Also, GPX Plus is here. ==> http://gpxplus.net/user/Wildpaw48
~~~
Hello, I've returned from the cave. Above is an artifact signature. It is of poor quality.
You can call me Four, as 48844 is a bit of a mouthful, isn't it. Besides, you don't call people by their full names all the time, right?

Team Nightmare Rebellion of 2013. Inspiration!
Happy birthday to me: August 7. Thanks, universe, for the gift of knowledge.
"There is no individual. We are geth."
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Re: Hybrid

Postby mantlepiece » Sun Aug 04, 2013 8:26 am

Thank you! I appreciate your comment! I've had a bit of trouble knowing when to start a new paragraph, so thanks for the tip! XD
Image
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for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,
Romans 3:23-24


I've loved being on CS (a bit too much) but I have people in my life that I need to prioritize, plus, I have a life that I can live if I wasn't spending so much time on here. ☺ So, i'm gonna be tying up some loose ends then leaving. Over and out!

In memory of Toviel

Does your belief suit you or reality?

Why do you really believe what you believe?

There can only be one truth. But which is it?

There is hope in Christ.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."
John 3:16, English Standard Version Bible
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mantlepiece
 
Posts: 698
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Re: Hybrid

Postby 48844 » Sun Aug 04, 2013 8:49 am

You can also ask Google 'when should I start a new paragraph'. The first link is pretty good, in my opinion.
http://magistream.com/user/48844 <== Magistream is here. Click if you like, but this is mostly for if Safari closes on its own again. Also, GPX Plus is here. ==> http://gpxplus.net/user/Wildpaw48
~~~
Hello, I've returned from the cave. Above is an artifact signature. It is of poor quality.
You can call me Four, as 48844 is a bit of a mouthful, isn't it. Besides, you don't call people by their full names all the time, right?

Team Nightmare Rebellion of 2013. Inspiration!
Happy birthday to me: August 7. Thanks, universe, for the gift of knowledge.
"There is no individual. We are geth."
Image
User avatar
48844
 
Posts: 172
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2010 5:15 am
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Re: Hybrid

Postby mantlepiece » Sun Aug 04, 2013 11:40 am

Coolio! Will do! XD
Image
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for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,
Romans 3:23-24


I've loved being on CS (a bit too much) but I have people in my life that I need to prioritize, plus, I have a life that I can live if I wasn't spending so much time on here. ☺ So, i'm gonna be tying up some loose ends then leaving. Over and out!

In memory of Toviel

Does your belief suit you or reality?

Why do you really believe what you believe?

There can only be one truth. But which is it?

There is hope in Christ.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."
John 3:16, English Standard Version Bible
User avatar
mantlepiece
 
Posts: 698
Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2013 10:43 am
My pets
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