JMD 121's Journals

[Insurgent]

Journal Entry #0001

I've been here for three days and counting. I managed to snag this notebook from the boss-man's office. He left it lying on the desk when they were tagging me. I had this pencil with me. I always carry one around to draw, just in case I see something worth drawing. In case I die, as I often see dragon's bodies, limp and cold, being dragged down the hall before they're tossed into the room the way a child would throw away a broken doll. It sickens me. I'm determined to not be one of those bodies. Anyway, in case I do end up being one of those lifeless bodies, I just want to let you know this: I was kidnapped. These cruel people are not doctors. They pretend to be, and most of the JMDs seem to believe it. I think that they've developed an amnesia serum, and are feeding it to us in our food. Each day I remember less and less. I struggle to even remember my own name. My name is Alyssa Azil Zinli. I also believe that rather than doctors, they are scientists. After nosing around, I've come to the conclusion that we are merely their test dummies. I don't think any of these dragons were actually insane before they were thrown into a cage for years, the captivity and medication we do not need is what drove them insane. Am I insane? Not yet, but I will be if I stay here much longer. I can't focus. Everything is getting fuzzy, before I pass out, I have one thing to say....

I don't think those JMDs were dead, just drained, because every so often, I hear them kicking from the other side of that door. I don't remember....

[Insurgent]

JOURNAL ENTRY #0084

Dear journal,
I've lost track of the days. I think it's been around 80 days. The doctor won't tell me what day it is unless it's a holiday or something. Anyway, I tried to escape today. I bit the doctor when he was giving me a shot. He was ready though and shoved me back into my cell before I could get away. I really hate him. He's terrible. I began to remember....There was a train, but all I can think of is the sound of its horn and the big headlight. I was diagnosed with amnesia the very first day.

I haven't slept in days, weeks maybe. My night terror is back. I keep seeing the same JMD, creeping towards me. The image......is always flashing through my mind. The scary thing is, I think it's me. I don't know for sure. I don't remember what I look like and there are no mirrors, but I just have the feeling that it is. It terrifies me. Not only that, but this new jewel showed up in the cell next to me. He screams all night. I've tried to talk to him, but he wont let me. He just screams louder. He'll scream until he's hoarse.

[Insurgent]

JOURNAL #0090

That JMD who used to scream all the time is getting better. I talk to him all the time. I try to calm him down. Even though he doesn't respond, I think it helps him at least a little bit. He doesn't sleep on his bed like the rest of us. For some reason, he refuses and sleeps on the floor against the bars closest to my cell. He's stopped screaming almost completely. I think it's because he lost his voice. Or maybe the doctor gave him something to calm him down. That's good for me I suppose; I've been getting a lot more sleep.

The doctor is taking me to therapy now. I had my first session today. I don't know what he hopes to accomplish, but I allow him to do whatever he needs to. I just want out. The cells are small, cramped, and lonely. Three walls are just heavy iron bars. The other is a concrete wall. My concrete wall is full of tally marks. I try to keep track of my time here. I've also been drawing pictures on the stone floor. I cover it with the straw mattress we are supposed to sleep on though; I don't want the scary lab coat man to see them. The doctor can be cruel. If you follow his directions, you should be fine, but most of us don't, so he can be very scary. He'll kick and yell and take our food or mattress away if we misbehave. He has kicked me before. I can be very rebellious after all. It hurts, my side is bruised, but he continues to give me medicine and try to make me better.

[Insurgent]

JOURNAL #0184

That JMD, the screaming one, talked to me today for the first time. He told me that his name is Jake. Plain and simple. All he said is 'Jake.' I am just assuming that is his name. Well, after that I asked him more questions. He answered some of them, but with each he was curt, not giving any extra information. He spoke so softly that I had to lean against the bars to talk to him. I asked how old he was. His response was a blunt: "18."
I asked, "Jake, why are you here?" He responded with,"Mad. So mad." It makes me wonder what's wrong with him. He seems fine. Ya know, other than the screaming and the kicking.
Anyway, since he's my only friend here, I kind of cling to him. That's okay though, because sometimes we just need somebody to cling to. Something--someone-- to keep us attached to reality, like the way beams support the roof of a building. Without those beams, the entire building would crumble. Jake is my beam. He gives me someone to talk to and cry with.

Tomorrow, I will plan to escape. I want out, and I plan on taking Jake with me. I'm afraid that what's left of his mind is crumbling like a dry pastry.....I hear Doctor Oskan coming. I'll write again tomorrow. Hopefully, if all goes well, I'll be prepared to flee from this nightmare. Unfortunately, there are some nightmares that you just can't wake up from.

[Insurgent]

JOURNAL ENTRY #0185

My plan is to wait for the cover of darkness, when the doctors leave us alone. I'll cause a distraction and run for it. Of course, I'll talk to one of the black dragons, they're strong, and get him to help me. I think I can pick the lock on my cage with one of my earrings. I just have to time it precisely. With my psychic abilities, we should be able to escape, though I have noticed that my powers seem to be waning. I'm sure it's just the captivity. We're weak from the lack of movement and the poor diets that we're on now. We can't move much in these tiny cells either, so we're pretty out of shape. That means that we probably won't be getting out of here quickly or stealthily. The only other way out is by using all of our combined powers to escape.

[Insurgent]

Journal Entry #0297

We were going to escape yesterday. Many of the doctors had left, so it would've been simple. Right? Wrong. Apparently a lot more dragons than I thought had journals, and many of them, like me, wrote of our supposed escape tonight. Turns out many of them aren't very sneaky. Their journals were confiscated and their pencils were taken away. I hid my pencil underneath my shackle and hid my journal on the ceiling, using my powers to warp gravity to admit the journal to sit on the ceiling the way it would sit on the floor. It was pretty clever, but it takes a lot of my energy to get it back up every night. I am drained. So I guess we'll have to wait again, probably for a very long time, before they'll let their guard down again. Now they know that we're more clever than we look. Here comes one of them! They patrol every night now. I'd better hide this now.

[Insurgent]

JOURNAL ENTRY #1900

July 4th,
Dear journal, today is July fourth. Today is Independence Day. I asked my doctor if I could go, after all, today is a day to celebrate being free. Right? Wrong, apparently. He says maybe next 4th of July, but that's what he said last year.... How long will I be here? If I ask, he just shakes his head and scribbles things down on a piece of paper. They're giving me more medication, too. Why? I don't need it! I am fine. Aren't I? I feel fine...

They already diagnosed me with DID. That is dissociative identity disorder. That means that I become different people without even realizing it sometimes. That's what the doctor says. He also says that I have narcolepsy, a sleeping disorder. Not only that, but he's finally discovered what has caused my "madness"! Apparently, as a child, I experienced something traumatizing and because I couldn't handle it, I literally slipped away from reality. But what event could have caused that? All I remember is.... Nothing. Absolutely nothing, just a train.