the things we do not speak of ||

[vanilla kitten]

+ i n t r o d u c t i o n

In the Community, it's not a big feat to be chosen to stand before everyone you know.
Rather, it's your first real look at death---and you're looking it right in the eyes.

The entire game changes for fifteen-year-old Kodee when she watches everyone
she knows and cares about brutally murdered before her eyes. She is sent headlong
into a battle between the Coven---the creatures who yearn for the blood of
humans---and The League, the ones sought to destroy them.
In this action-packed thriller, Kodee not only learns the true essence of
leadership and loyalty, but finds that not everything you lose is gone forever.

[vanilla kitten]

+ p r e f a c e

My hands slam against the concrete and blood spills from my mouth. I see two piercing blue orbs floating in the darkness before me and shake my head. I try to cry out in protest, but all that comes out is a scratchy breathing noise and I can hear a cackle sound up before me. I lower my head and lay my face onto the smooth, cold floor and try to catch my breath.
There's four little clicks from somewhere behind me and a small stream of light is let into my chamber. For a moment, I'm blinded and I squint until it passes. I gulp the fresh air and let my tired lungs warm up for a moment, closing my eyes and enjoying my little break from this horrible reality for a moment. Before I realize it, minutes have passed and I'm alone again in the room.
I spend a couple minutes pushing myself to my feet and examine the room; dark walls, hard gray floor, and a little bottle of water sitting in the middle. I decide against going for a drink and turn to the source of the light -- there's a door, cracked just enough so I can see a small deck reaching out over some area. Slowly, I take my first step toward the first sunshine I've seen in days, forcing each step on my aching feet.
I close my eyes so that my first look at the world again is pure and surprising; I feel around blindly until I find the edge rail, the metal cool and refreshing under my calloused hands. Slowly, I open my eyes and give myself a few seconds to adjust.
As I look before me, I feel dread welling up in my chest. They're all dead, I think to myself, unable to stop myself from staring at the horrifying scene before me. A ware-house with huge paneled windows to the right and a paneled gray wall to the left and front; bodies are strewn everywhere, some of them white as bone and some of them still with pink to their cheeks. In the center of the large room is a boy, turning slowly in a circle as he hangs from a rope on the ceiling.
I recognize his face immediately and can't suppress the scream that escapes my lips.

[vanilla kitten]

+ o n e

My mother always tells me that everything's fine.
I know she's lying; we've lived like this for a long time, though. Fake people in a fake house, doing fake things, saying fake words to try and cover up the horrible mess that we really are.
I look up from my book at my mother, who's busying herself with preparing dinner for thirty. I'll never understand why she puts herself through the trouble of doing this every month, but she does and it's just something I have to deal with, if not understand.
“Where are the twins?” she asks sharply, not looking up from her pots and pans.
I look lazily around the kitchen for the mischievious ten-year-olds, but don't bother getting up. “Spencer! Nathan!” I yell. I hear the pounding of feet coming from the hallway and the two rush into the kitchen, laughing and shoving each other.
Mom rolls her eyes. “Spencer, what do you have in your hair?” she asks, looking at the tiny rainbow thread that's been braided into the long blonde plait that reaches the middle of her back. She gives me a pleading look and I heave myself to my feet toward the stove as she scolds Spence.
“I could get in big trouble for this,” Mom mutters. Spencer just rolls her eyes and folds her arm over her chest, the corners of her mouth tugged up in a sarcastic smile. I supress a laugh and stir the beef stew before looking over at my mom.
“So, what's the plan for tonight? Are our outfits issued out yet?” I ask, trying to lighten up the mood a little. My mother gives me a quizzical look, then her gaze turns thoughtful.
“Well, you can do yours and Spencer's hair,” she muses. “How about you go check our box for the clothes? Take Spence with you. I don't need she and Nathan to cause anymore trouble.” Her voice is light but her expression is utterly hollow. I frown slightly and nod.
“I'll see you later,” Mom says, giving Spencer a tight squeeze. She looks at Nathan and says, “As for you, mister, you'll stay here and help me cook and clean.” Nathan groans as Spence and I race out the door and into the fresh spring air, the sun gently making its way across the sky.
“Kodee?” Spencer says quietly.
“Yeah?”
“Is Mom okay?” Her eyes are wide with what seems like concern, but is more likely to be confusion. I know exactly what she means, but I won't say it out loud. None of us like to talk about my father's death, my mother in particular. She likes to pretend it never happened; not that he was never alive, and not that he never died. She just chooses to put it on hold.
“I don't know,” I say finally, shrugging. “Do you remember your number?”
Spencer holds up her wrist and says, “Of course I do! I could never forget my number. Only babies don't know their number. One-oh-four-two.”
“One-zero-four-two,” I correct, taking her small wrist into my hand. Four plain, blue numbers are tattooed neatly across the small space in small writing. 1042.
“Oh, yeah. One-zero-four-two.”
“You'll have to be more careful around the officials,” I mutter, giving her a gentle shove. She giggles and

[honee bee]

Love it so far!

[vanilla kitten]

thank you! c:

i've got big plans for this story, so stay tuned. there will be quite a few twists c;

[Pangolin]

I love what you have so far and I can see that you can go a lot of places with what you have.
The preface is a bit confusing and I'd suggest adding a bit more detail and clarity as to what's going on.
Detail goes a long way and can really pull the reader in, the better they can see what's going on, the more interested they will be.
I really do like it, and I will definitely keep reading!

[vanilla kitten]

thanks^

i'm working on finishing chapter one ^-^ i've been lazy with it. and i'll definitely put more detail into the preface; of course, it's sort of a like a view into the future, but a very vague one. and for those of you who think this is going to be very hunger-games-style, just wait, this is going in a complete different direction.

[Abissh]

So far, so good! I'd like to point out a few things :3

There's four little clicks from somewhere behind me and a small stream of light is let into my chamber.

The contraction you used here is wrong. This would be the equivalent of There is four clicks... it should be There are four clicks.... My advice would be to not use a contraction at all and leave it as There are.

I close my eyes so that my first look at the world again is pure and surprising; I feel around blindly until I find the edge rail, the metal cool and refreshing under my calloused hands.

I really like this sentence. Very nice imagery, good job!

I know she's lying; we've lived like this for a long time, though.

I feel like the 'though' could be taken out of this sentence. It makes it seem a little odd. It makes it seem like you're going to press another issue, but the sentence stopped. Just a suggestion. :3

“You'll have to be more careful around the officials,” I mutter, giving her a gentle shove. She giggles and

This is kind of obvious, but I think you cut this sentence off XD



Ok, that's really all the specific things I saw. I really like this! It's a little confusing right now, but I'm sure once more chapters are up, I'll understand! Is the preface kind of like...what will happen at the end of the story? Or does it happen before? Maybe you should say "---years later" or "---years ago" or something like that to clear it up. I would really like to read more once you have it! ^^

[vanilla kitten]

i know it cuts off xD i had to log off really quick and never got around to finishing it. and the preface is more toward the end, or middle. (: