The story. of the R U N T - Open for comments

[war paint.]

The story of the R U N T

Chapter one ;; The start of it all.
That stallion, right there in the front is my father. His name is Chance and his show name is Cloudy with a Chance of winning. My mother was just a regular black mare that was a good runner. But when she gave birth, she had twins. I was the runt, my sister the spotlight of the farm. I was whipped a lot, told I was useless and my mother wasn't there to help me. Soon the auction came up, and a man selected me, the only bid for me was five hundred. The man took me to his farm, where his wife, and a boy stared down at me with kind eyes. That's there, when I knew I wasn't useless at all.

- One year later -

The boy ran down the old farm steps, a helmet in his hand, but not a riding helmet. The old man followed the boy, quietly I watched them, as a small miniature horse and goat joined my side. Eddy and Mandy, the goat so started to 'cry' and me and Eddy looked at her confused. " He grew up toooo fasstt! " Mandy would cry, and I would nuzzle her and then look back to the boy, the old man place a hand on his shoulder. " Take it easy at the first day of work boy, don't come back all bruised. " He said with his clear voice, and the boy would nod and start the bike thing and zoom off. And that's all I would see of him until five o'clock. Put later on that day the old man hooked me up to his plow, giving me simply instructions to pull, and I did until we were finished, and then he'd praise me and put me in my stall. And after a while I'd hear the boy call, " I'm home. " and they went inside until the next day. Thats when I saw a man wearing a white jacket next to the boy and old man. " He's in great shape to start training Rick. " Rick ran his fingers through his white curly head of hair, " Great, but I need to find a rider. " Rick protested, and then Oscar looked up to his dad and smiled. " I can ride him. " He said, and nodded. I pulled up my head and saw the old man nod to the boy and pull me gently out of my stall, he tied me up and came close with a large thing of leather and a blanket of cloth. I tried to back up, but the ropes caught me. So I closed my eyes and awaited the pain.

[war paint.]

Training Day, Chapter 2

After the old man put all this odd stuff on me, I stumbled to the right as the boy climbed onto my back and sat in the leather. I was curious as the people lead me to a large, oval white wring. " Go ahead to the white line boy, I got the stop watch. " The vet said, and Rick walked off with him to a large building that over looked the track. Oscar moved me to the white line whispering to me. " When I say, just run. I will guide you. " He whispered to me, of course I was scared, but I watched my father do this before, so I clawed the soft earth under me. The vet nodded and started the watch, " Go boy, go! " and with that, Oscar kicked me forward. My heart bounded as I ran forward with all my might, and after a few seconds I fell forward, the boy slickly got off, landing on his feet as he I fell. The men ran towards me and helped me up. The old man pushed the white coated man, " I told you he's too young. " But the man shook his head. I got up and shook off the pain as Oscar walked me around the track by hand. Cooling off I watched Rick chase the vet away, me and Oscar laughed to ourselves and then he put me in the pasture.

Eddy chuckled, trotting up to me. " Nice wipe out kiddo. " He teased me, I snorted and shook my head. " it's not my fault I'm still to young, and too small. " And with that Mandy kicked Eddy's legs, making him fall as he started to speak again. She grunted rudely. " Not another word you two, I see you tease him, I'm killing you this time. " The white goat said to Eddy and looked to me again and nodded up at me. " Go to the water trout. " I nodded and walked to the water, looking at my reflection. Seeing my name across my bridle, they had only token off my saddle. Foolish Pleasure.

[war paint.]

Chapter 3, The first step forward

It was my third week being two when the old man and the boy walked towards me with that leather stuff again. Gently they would tack me and then take me to the track for training. Today was different, there was a mare. She had a bay coat and her eyes twinkled like light blue eyes that looked like the sky. She made my heart skip a beat and then she would smile at me and toss her flowing mane. I would get carried away and step forward towards her quickly, making the old man yell at me and tug my reins. Then when I would calm down, I would let Oscar climb on my back and then the old man would get back in the white building and click the timer. " Go! " Rick called, Oscar kicked his stallion into a gallop and the mare followed. But the mare ran forward, Oscar growled and kicked the stallion. Foolish ran faster, his legs coming up to his chest and then he ran in front of the mare. The mare and her rider watched the small stallion in shock as he ran in front of her by miles and miles ahead. Soon the mare caught up and the two ran muzzle to muzzle. It was that there were Foolish crossed the line first, leaving the mare in the dust.

The mare threw her body up in challenge, tossing her ride off. " HOW! " She cried, throwing her back hooves and then her front hooves. Oscar got off of Foolish and the stallion trotted over to the mare and nuzzled her neck, calming her. Rick walked down to the track patting the stallion's neck and then the mare's. " Put them in the cool off, they ran hard boy. " Oscar nodded and lead the mare and stallion to the cool off. Rick helped up the man and smiled, rubbing his hands on his jeans. " How was he today? " He asked him. The man just nodded and brushed his hands off too, " He's ready, Rick. " The old man nodded, watching the two bays walk off lead by Oscar.

[war paint.]

My first winning, Chapter 4

It was officially the first day of my career as the old man took me out of my stall and brought me into a metal box. I happily went in, excited as the same female from a week ago was beside me. She looked over to me and smiled, " I never caught you're name. " She asked me and I smiled showing her my name tag on my bridle. " Foolish pleasure, what about you? " I asked her and she showed me her name tag. " Ruffian. " She told me and then the door behind us closed, I closed my eyes and fell asleep, waiting for us to reach are destiny.

- Two hours later -

Lights, screams, and terrified nickers of horses being pushed in gates. This was nothing like the big time, but a smaller version, where two horses of different genders would race. Me and Ruffian would run against each other again. So after a good half hour of being groomed, tacked and showed off to the crowd we were finally ready. Two grooms lead me and Ruffian to the gates, we both were hesitant but I went in and she followed. The gates closed behind us and the jockeys climbed up on are backs, Ruffian tried to toss hers off, but I let Oscar climb on easily. DING The horn went and everything went slow motion as we sprinted out of the gates, the older filly was already running to fast, me and Oscar knew it. " Slow her down a little! " Oscar cried to the other male but he kept whipping the mare. Soon we caught up after she started to loose her spark. But the man took both reins and one hand, walloping the mare. She threw her head in pain, she came falling down, her leg twisted and she and the male fell down, Oscar stopped me and I gently nuzzled the mare up, Oscar threw the male up and punched him, knocking him down. OHHH The crowd said out loud as vets and the old man ran towards us. Ruffian cried softly and I tried to comfort her, but the humans took her away. But Oscar shook his head at the vets, he helped the mare up and wrapped her leg, I let her on my side and Oscar lead me and her to the finish line. The crowd quiet in awe. Soon I stopped and Oscar lead the mare over the finish line. The crowd ROARED in awe and I went up to the mare, she looked up to me and fell down. Passed out, the crowd quieted and the vets finally took her away. Oscar comforted me, as I watched my crush leave me.


Two weeks later.

I was lead threw a hospital, a horse hospital, and I smelt Ruffian, happily I trotted up to her room and the vets let me in, and there was the mare on a large stall and she ran up, hanging her head towards me. Quickly I nuzzled her and the vets talked to Rick and Oscar. " She's going to be fine. " The vet told the two of my owners. " Her Jockey was fined, and he's been fired. The owner of her wanted me to ask you this. " He said looking back at me and Ruffian then to Rick and Oscar. " He wants you two to own Ruffian. " Rick nodded and Oscar nodded in unison.


Two years later.
I had retired mounts ago and I was put in the field in the middle of the night, my mate was laying down in the corner with a vet by her, he beaconed me over and I trotted towards them, and there my heart skipped a beat as I saw my very own foal, Ruffian looked up at me and then back to the foal. The foal gave a hiccup and looked up at me, my heart melted. Thats when I knew his name, looking to Oscar he patted my neck, like reading my eyes he looked to the foal. " Tyvek. " He said, and I happily nodded my head, I grew up as the runt, and look at me now, a proud father to my mate's foal.

[ri bird.]

May I offer some constructive criticism?
You have spelling and grammar mistakes that pop out in your story which need to be fixed, but the idea of your story sounds interesting- keep it up!

[war paint.]

Hehe sorry, I type a little too fast sometimes, thank you. - Doing chapter three soon.

[war paint.]

Third chapter posted.

[war paint.]

The last chapter is finished.

[owls-in-october]

It's good, but you need to add a bit more grammar to it, and change up your sentences a bit. They're rather choppy and hard to read.

[war paint.]

Sorry about that, I'm not good In first person.