α ƒαιяу ι αм [story]

[Holly Dash]

Fire. Fire was everywhere, it was impossible to escape it. Yet she needed to! She had promised, she had promised Falling that she'll return. That she'll save him, no matter the danger, that she will always protect her older brother.

Her older brother... remembering him now made her shiver even with fire around her. "Take my life, take it, but give me back my brother! Give him back to me! Let him live!" She screeched at the forest around her, knowing no cat could hear her. She ran as far as she could, leaping over fallen trees, her paw pads were burnt and hurt with every step.

She knew this was the end. She tripped and fell, and looked up at the sky. "Falling..." She whispered, and closed eyes, awaiting death that surrounded her.

"Where is she? Mink? Mink! Where are you, Mink, please answer me! Mink!" A crippled tom-cat ran, his paw pads sore. Where was his little sister? She was supposed to be with the others... He wanted to save her, and let the others die. Others deserved to die, but not her! Not Mink!

Suddenly he stopped, and turned back, looking at another tom, which seemed unfazed by the flames. He followed the other tom's stare, and suddenly saw a suspicious brown body laying at the feet of flames. "Mink, Mink, Mink, Mink!!!" The tom screeched and ran toward his sister, however, he was suddenly grabbed from the back. He knew he was being dragged away, but the only thing in his mind was his sister who was laying dead on the ground.

"Let me go, Flash, let go! I need to go with Mink! I want to be with her..." He whispered, once the other tom had pulled him out of the forest. However, the other tom was determined to save Falling no matter what, and he jumped on rooftop of a human house in a safe distance from the forest. As Flash released Falling, the brown tabby immediately got up and ran, but Flash didn't follow him. "You know Mink is dead." He said in a strict, strong voice, and the brown tom stopped.

"But... I promised her! I promised her she and I would rule over the forest, that we would no longer be made fun of!" Falling meowed, and turned his head to Flash with tearful eyes.

"I can't grant all your wishes," the other tom said with an apologetic smile, but Falling was confused. "What? What wishes?"

"You wished they all would burn in flames, didn't you, Falling?" Flash meowed, and looked at the brown tabby with cold, bright blue eyes. Realization struck through Falling's body, he felt as if his limbs had frozen. "Y-you did that? But... why?" Falling whispered, and Flash smirked. "Consider me a fairy. I grant you one wish," the light-pelted tom chuckled, and leaped on the chimney, looking at the crushed face of the other tom, "for a price, of course."

Falling suddenly felt fire run through his body. This was the killer of his sister! "How could you, you monster!?" The brown tom yowled and leaped on the side of the chimney to attack Flash, however, he stretched too far and lost his balance.

"Now, now, is that the way how you treat those who grant your wishes?" Flash smirked, looking into the yellow eyes of the tabby cat. "Why are you so cruel? Why did you do that?" Falling whispered, hanging with his forepaws on the side of the chimney, waiting for Flash to pull him up. "You wished death to all the cats that had been laughing at you, to all the cats that had been laughing at your missing leg. You wished that they would burn to death, you hated them. I did that for you." Flash meowed, then turned his back to the brown tabby, and walked forward. Suddenly Falling felt warmth at under his one leg, and he smelled smoke. His fur prickled in fear, and his eyes widened. "Be careful what you wish for, kid," Flash meowed, turning his head back to look at the young tabby-cat. "You just might get it."

Falling felt the surface under his forepaws slip and his muscles release and with a screech, he dived into the black smoke of the chimney.

--.contents.--
prologue
characters
author's notes
chapter 1
chapter 2
chapter 3

[Holly Dash]

His birth name is Ringer of the Tower Bells, however, he doesn't know that. He's usually referred to as Ringer or, if somebody is to scold him, then Bellringer. He's born in a quite large city he doesn't know the name of. He and everybody else just calls it 'the City'. He lives in a peaceful suburban district, in a quiet, nice home.
He is a youthful, five months old purebred siamese, his mother is Daylight, he had three sisters - Nighttime, Merilin and Mintleaf, however, they were killed by a neighbor rottweiler Lily. There's also his mother's brother, Simon, who stops by their home from time to time.
Bellringer is a nice cat. He never antagonizes his mother. He isn't violent. He is extremely sensitive though - he senses when other cats are irritated, angry or tired, he senses the smallest changes to their moods. Ringer knows that not everyone can do it, especially those his age. He also sometimes experiments with his sisters when their feelings change - he learns how they react when he says this or that at a different mood. Basically, he is a child prodigy psychologist.

His birth name is Leap of Faith, not that he uses it. He is a middle-aged siamese that has particularly close bond with his littermate Daylight, although it is known that he has a few other siblings living down the street. There are no known mates or kittens.
Simon definitely isn't a nice cat, he is disarmingly quiet and calm even under the hardest pressure. It seems like he knows everything about everyone, and it is common knowledge that Simon is exposed to street life, but it is not certain to what level.

Her birth name is Daylight, and she insists on using it and doesn't let any cat call her Day, she also doesn't respond to other nicknames.She is a middle-aged purebred siamese that lives in a quiet suburban district with her son and three killed daughters and a brother three corners down the street.
Even though she may seem like a fragile flower, having to be the favorite sister for her brother Simon has hardened her to be a very tough cat. She rarely displays any emotion, that's a thing that she's got unnervingly common with her brother. Some tell that she was very hot-headed when she was younger.

Who is this cat?

Who is this cat?

Who is this cat?

Lester is a laid back and smooth cat with many connections. He is lazy and hard-working in one person, he won't do anything for others' good since he's been cheated and tricked on so many times that he can't even count so far. However, for goals that concern his own well-being, yes, then he is ready to work as hard as he ever can. Lester cannot be considered smart or intelligent, he is only clever and mainly relies on his 'gut feeling'. He has a gang, a bunch of Lester-age teen cats, most prominent of which is Ginger, a large red tabby she-cat who loves Lester with all her heart and will kick anyone's butt who dares to lay as much as a finger on him.

[Holly Dash]

As for all authors, this story is close to me. It has come from me, and it has mixed the happenings from my real past and, of course, fiction. I am not a siamese sitting in front of a computer, trolling humanity... or am I?

That said, I meant only that it represents myself in a greatly disturbed way. This is not especially close to me as a story, so I don't really care much about this. I see this as another way how my greatly troubled brain is trying to express itself. There is no real plotline, and I write as I go along. I am just too lazy and careless about this piece of mud that I won't sit down and create a plot and good stuff. The title is still up for a debate!

Anyhow, I will appreciate criticism, especially on grammar. I am not a foreign speaker, and I need to learn English, so please do not hesitate to point out my clumsiness.

Regardless, I won't tolerate flaming. No, really. You, flamer, are in great luck for sitting in the other side of a screen in country kilometers away from me. And this is not being 'internet tough guy'. If you bully me, I'll bully you, and believe me, I am one of the greatest bullies, manipulators and backstabbers that live on this side of universe.

Maybe now I came off as outright a violent creature (which I am), but don't be scared to leave a good criticism! ^^' I love critique as long as it's objective and on the point, showing both good and bad sides, which sides I should improve and which should stay the way they are, not outright bashing of 'you've got awful grammar, awful plot and you are awful!' style.

Happy reading!

[Holly Dash]

A tall siamese she-cat sat by a window, a window to the whole city. She gazed over the neighborhood, over the beautiful lawns and gardens, where little kittens would play... but not hers. Not hers anymore. Not her little Nighttime or Mintleaf, or Merilin. They had gone to that horrible dog. Now the only one left was the very young Bellringer. Oh, poor soul, how must he feel after his sisters had passed away... He said he hadn't seen a thing, he had only seen them when they were already dead.

But she didn't believe him. She knew Ringer could lie whenever he wanted, and everybody would believe it. Thinking that her own son would lie to her, and not about the little bits like uneaten food, but his own sisters' death... It was awful. He had reeked of blood that day. She didn't know how much he was involved in their death, but she knew that he had definitely done something to quicken their fate. He wasn't innocent.

Or maybe he was. It was just the heavy guilt that sometimes wore down those innocents like him, sometimes it was just the guilt 'maybe I could've been a little quicker'.

But then again, if that was the case, he wouldn't lie to her. He wouldn't say untruthful things. He would say that it's his fault.

Oh, who cares, she didn't even know her own son that well. There was no reason she should or shouldn't believe him. Fact was her daughters were all dead.

And nothing could be done about it.

Door creeked, but her brilliant blue eyes didn't move from the set point somewhere over the horizon. After a bit of silence, she closed her eyes, and spoke, "Simon, go away. I knew you hadn't changed the smallest bit, you heartless jerk, you..." she continued murmuring something that should not be repeated, and wasn't important anyway.
The gray-muzzled siamese sat and placed a dark paw on his white chest, and looked with fake, sarcastic innocence at his red-tailed sibling,"What's wrong, dear sister? I do not understand why do I deserve to be called such awful things."
"Stop playing games," finally Daylight moved her eyes to the side where brother was standing behind her, yet she didn't move head. Simon waited a few moments, then broke out in a madcat's chuckle that lasted couple heartbeats, and smirked in a poisonous way, "Life is a game, dear sister. It's the last moment to learn the rules."

There was silence for a moment, Daylight seemed to consider his words, she closed her eyes and her ginger tail flicked in an increasing pace. Then she suddenly snapped and turned, and leaped to her brother in frenzy as if to reverse his wrongdoing, "Keep away from him! Let him live his life. He is not your plaything!" She yowled, her fur fluffed up. Any other cat would begin to get nervous, but Simon wasn't just any cat. He kept his calm behavior even in face of his sister, and his smirk grew wider. "Oh, don't you pull this card with me. Don't you feel a bit guilty for lying to your own brother?" He meowed, seemingly reminding her of something long gone. She froze in her paws, her fur lied flat and she easily calmed. There was kind of a fear in her eyes, as if she tried to deny something.

There was another moment of silence before Simon spoke again, ensuring his victory, "I know you want to see his limits. No, actually, you are dying to know how far could he go. You know he'll be great. I wasn't because I couldn't relate to other cats at all, I often made mistakes. You weren't good enough because you could relate to others too much. He's inbetween. You know he'll be great." The blue-gray siamese continued babbling, circling around his sister and then walking around the room, before finally settling near the window. After he had spoken, Daylight sighed and moved next to him. "Please, Simon, let him live. Leave him be," her plea was silent, her hope lost. She knew he would never let Bellringer live a normal life, find a mate, have a family... Maybe he would, if Bellringer wasn't good enough. Like Simon did with her. He let her have a family, because he knew she would never be good enough, yet he had left her alone for a reason. Who knew, maybe her offspring would be good enough?

"Do you really know what he wants, Daylight dear? It's his life after all." Simon interrupted her train of thought, and after a little while exited the room with a set goal, leaving his confused sister behind..

[Holly Dash]

I didn't stop eating. I didn't stop anything in fact. Every cat that passed by our house expressed their pity, but I didn't feel sad. Mother scolded me when I ran free and laughing in the backyard, she said she didn't want neighbor cats hearing me. I knew why she was ashamed of me.

We were both supposed to be sad. To be sulking, especially my mother. She knew that neighbors would understand if I was laughing, because I was supposed to be younger and the one who doesn't quite understand the world. They could even think I was going crazy, but more likely that I could be trying to cheer up my mother.

Mother didn't need cheering up. Her appearance had changed none since sisters died, she ate well and she groomed herself, as always. We continued to live as if nothing had happened. Of course, it all changed when guests arrived. Then my mother rarely spoke, she pretended to be sad.

I didn't blame her. Honestly, I felt the same. I had to do the exact same thing, and I had no choice.

"Bellringer," she had said, "you're such a smart tom. You understand everything, right? I can't hide anything from you, darling, can I?" I didn't answer. This question didn't need an answer. She didn't expect anything from me, she spoke to me as if I was empty air and she was actually talking to herself. She viewed me as the extension of herself, unlike my sisters when they were alive. My sisters were separate beings from her, they were to be cared about and nurtured. She had no expectations of my sisters, she taught them everything they would ever need.
Mother never explained anything to me. She never told anything about her emotions, anything about cats around us, anything about what was right and wrong. I was always supposed to know about everything she knew.
And actually, I did, if truth be told. If she had tried to explain anything, it would have seemed stupid and pointless. Our relationship was without words.

Yet I was puzzled about just one thing - why didn't she care about her own kittens?

I knew she didn't, and that wasn't sulking about, like some of my own age cats, who always whined that their parents didn't care about them, when I saw that they clearly did. I knew she didn't care. My sisters were just kittens to her. She never spoke of Mintleaf, Nighttime or Merilin as 'her daughters'. She never expressed that they were hers, that they had come from her and that they were to be associated with her. She cared about them just like any other cat would.
Me? Yes, I was different, I was expansion of her own. But she didn't consider me as 'son', she considered me to be her third eye or something of that kind. Her mind didn't recognize me as a separate being that has come from her and that she should nurture. She ignored me, expecting me to understand everything needed.

I sighed, and gazed down. I was at fence post, looking into neighbor's garden. I was being useful. Neighbors would notice that I was sad about our sisters, and more importantly, I could notice the dog's behavior.

No, I wasn't seeking for retaliation of my sisters, I was rather interested in the dog itself. Why was Lily so aggressive toward cats? My sisters weren't the first cats it had vandalized in such a horrible manner. Everyday I watched her, trying to understand. Understanding cats was easy, their behavior was relatable, but dogs - that was lower class being, with different set of logic.

"What are you thinking, dear nephew?" I heard a honey-like voice behind me, and I turned my head. "Oh, hello uncle Simon." I mewed without much care, I didn't even waste more than three seconds looking at my uncle. I knew him, he was not interesting. Back to the theory of dog mind-

"Are you thinking about how to kill the dog?" He meowed, but I didn't reply for a while. I knew that I wouldn't hide anything anyway from him. "I am supposed to be." I mewed, not really answering. Simon always asked questions that I didn't like. Questions that intruded in my being, in my logic, and vandalized my mind. I often couldn't think my way after a conversation with Simon.

"That is expected, yes, but are you?" He asked. I didn't answer this question.
"You have become quite abrupt and rude, my dear nephew. Maybe you need a lesson?" He mewed in a poisonlike way, still the words so sweet-sounding and lulling your common sense, lulling your barriers...
"Is that a threat?" I asked to keep my mind clear, and looked into his eyes. I couldn't read the expression like I could with other cats. He always seemed to have every limb collected, always he had a hard metal-cold gaze, I could never read through it. It was like he had no expression.
"Do you take it to be?" He asked, and seemed to creep closer to me. All my senses were as alert as I could keep them. My heart, as always, wished to believe every word Simon said, however, my mind spoke a clear no. My mind knew that he had ill logic.
"Nephew, you have grown up in your mind, but not body. You cannot possibly take on a large dog, I suppose you know that." So he still wanted to know about me and that dog? That proved that he didn't know what was on my mind, I didn't care about my sisters' killer as a murderer.
"But I suppose you don't even want that, am I right? I knew you were as amoral as my sister. Even I had feelings for poor Mintleaf, Nighttime, Merilin... But you are just like your mother, so heartless. How can you not want to retaliate to the murderer? I know, you are afraid. But don't be! There are other ways of pain, other than physical." He started speaking loud and clear, and then got quieter. After few moments, he turned away from me. "Well, I'd rather go now, I have business to take care of. Good day and never stop thinking, dear nephew!" He mewed and then dashed away in a cheerful manner.

I knew I was guilty, that I should want to retaliate to Lily, but I didn't. He had said there are other ways of pain as if I didn't know that. However, the thought had never crossed my mind. Maybe I could explore this dog's vision, this dog's logic through pain? It would seem likely. I knew that cats usually showed their true self in times of hardship, like my mother, so why this shouldn't prove true for dogs too?

[Kitty-lover93]

Hey, Holly! I'm not sure if you want me to post this here or not, and if you don't, just PM me and I can delete it!

I think this idea is great; your characters' personalities will fit very well into a story to make it constantly interesting... especially with Simon. I think it's good how it is so far, since there isn't all that much to criticize, although I would have made the prologue a bit more mysterious... that's just how I like it, though, and this is your story.

I just see a few errors, like in the sentence 'Simon waited few moments, then broke out into a madcat's chuckle, then smirked in a poisonous way.' I see a couple typos. The first one is right at the beginning; 'Simon waited few' should be 'Simon waited a few' or something of the like. The second isn't really a mistake, although it makes it sound a bit weird. 'then smirked in a poisonous way' would sound better as 'smirking in a poisonous way', since you already used 'then' before that.

So basically, all I have to say is look over it for the small stuff like that, since you're a way better writer than I am. I think I'll keep an eye on this... I want to read more!

[Holly Dash]

Thank you for your opinion, I edited the first chapter. The second one is up now (right above your post, kitty-cat!) and I'll edit and improve the prologue once I've time.

[Kitty-lover93]

I love it so far, Holly! I just now got around to rereading the entire thing, and I really want to know what happens next. (: I don't have any criticism, though; you're way better of a writer than me, so I don't see how I could say much anything to improve yours!

[Holly Dash]

Nonsense, I barely can express myself in English as I can in my native tongue! ^^ And by the way, huge thanks for support!^^

Anyhow, I will continue this as soon as I'm out of hospital. I hope that happens soon.

[Holly Dash]

"Eh, nephew, I hoped you'd be much more fun." Uncle Simon said and I glared at him. Why he insisted so hard on me retaliating to the dog? I couldn't understand that, if he was so smart why couldn't he retaliate to the dog himself? If he had loved my sisters as dearly as he claimed to, why didn't he avenge them himself? What was wrong with that cat, why he insisted so dearly that I avenge them?

I quickly padded away from him, and went to Lily's garden, there Simon didn't follow me. I jumped from one fence post to another until I reached the large oak which was between both territories, and I scrambled myself up there. From that point of view I could see the inside of Lily's house, and most of the rooms.

"Lily! Go out you stupid dog!" I heard a small girl shout, and the large rottweiler ran out. I saw the reason for the shouting - she had muddy legs, the girl had muddy pawprints on her back and shoulders. I chuckled, and got more comfortable to watch the scene. The dog ventured outside for a bit, happily barking and chasing some foolish squirrels, but didn't notice me. Soon a boy came out, and I gasped in surprise.

What really surprised me was not the boy, no, I had seen him a dozen of times, I think his name was Donald, what surprised me was the thing that was in his hands. He held a little puppy, and not just any other puppy - a rottweiler puppy. Lily stopped what she was doing and ran to the boy, and the boy put down the puppy. Lily seemed protective of the puppy, she pushed it away from Donald, and now it was clear - the puppy was Lily's child.

Lily was extremely protective of it. She didn't let Donald play with it, although both Donald and the puppy wanted it. She didn't exactly pose a threat to Donald, she just took the puppy in her teeth and ran away with it. Every time Donald came closer, Lily took the whining puppy in her teeth and took him farther away. Finally Donald gave up and went inside the house, and now Lily loosened up, however, she still didn't let the puppy stray away more than five feet from her.

The little girl came out of the house, and grumpily went over to Lily, who wanted to get up and take the puppy with her, and held her still. That was one brave move, but Lily tolerated it and the girl cleaned the rottweiler's paws, then took it by collar and led it inside.

Interesting, a puppy, hmm? I went back to my house, and asked mother about it, but she didn't know anything. Of course, I could technically ask Simon, but he'd understand immediately what I was up to and would start lecturing me again. I didn't want that.


I went out on the street, and padded toward a place I knew all too well and I didn't like it one bit there.

"Where ya goin', pipsqueak?" I heard a dangerous voice behind me, and I turned head. The owner of the voice was a large red tabby with large paws and... well... large everything. It seemed like for that cat everything came in bigger size.

Except patience. "I asked ya, where ya goin'?" The cat growled and pushed my neck against a nearby brick wall, and hissed. I knew how to deal with this, no worries, no worries at all, I knew how to deal with this, everything was going to be alright. "ARE YA GANA ANSWER ME OR NOT!?" The gigantic cat roared, and I covered my head with my paws.

"Hey, Ginger, let him go." I heard a gentle, soft voice, and I turned my head to see what it was. Oh yes, I knew who it was alright. It was a black-and-white tom with honey-colored eyes, now was the time that I actually felt fear. "Now tell me, mister Fancypants, what do you want from us? And don't give me the crap that you didn't want anything. You never come in this neighborhood just for kicks." The tom continued in his deceiving soft voice. I always wondered how a cat whose voice was so gentle could be so cold-hearted. Ginger was easy to figure out, he was just a stupid gigantic cat, but Lester was a completely different kind. He wasn't exactly smart or intelligent, no, but he was clever, he knew how to use others to get what he wants. And he knew how to use his innocent, deceiving looks.

"What do you know about Lily?" I asked, and for a moment there was silence. Behind Lester came laughter, and I turned my eyes to see that his whole gang was laying around in a closed marketplace. "We don't care and don't know anything about your girlfriends, Fancypants." A brown tabby she-cat meowed, and I harshly looked at her, but Lester waited a moment, an expressionless look on his face. "Lily, do you mean that crazy rottweiler that killed your sisters, hmm? Are you looking for retaliation?" Just as I opened my mouth to deny that, he continued. "I don't really care, Fancypants. However, my aunt would be more than happy to help you. Currently she is at Brooke street dumpsters." With that, he let me go and flicked his tail. Ginger followed him, and I headed for Brooke street.


I walked around the center, looking for Brooke street. I didn't like the city, not one bit. There were too many stupid, hostile streetcats and people who could accidentally take you for a stray. I didn't want to end up in a city pound, yes, I was visibly a cat from a household so they wouldn't put me down, even though I didn't have a collar, I mean, how many well-groomed healthy siamese cats wandered the streets? People weren't stupid. And they were much more kind-hearted than other cats.

"No! Get away from me! I'll kill you!" I heard a sudden shout from nearby alleyway. I wasn't stupid, I didn't go investigate, but I hid behind some trash cans so that I wouldn't be killed if this was a fight between streetcats. "I don't know anything!" The same voice screamed, and soon I saw the black cat running down the street, a gang of other cats right behind him. The other cats were black, brown and red tabby, but one cat stood out significantly. He had a light build, he was very well groomed, his eyes were dark blue and his ears, tail, face and legs were blue, all other body was creamy white. I knew this cat more than I wanted to know.

What was Uncle Simon doing here?