So, it's been a while since I've shared a story with CS, and today I wrote this short story, so I decided it might be worth posting it to get some useful critique/tips. I know that it still requires a lot of work, but hey, there's no harm posting it xD
As usual, do not steal this piece of work. It is mine and mine only. No, extracts from it may not feature on your thread/signature/anywhere else {not that anyone would want to use it, but just in case}.
If I find out it has been stolen, then I will be contacting moderators.
I would love critique and tips on how to improve it, but if you dislike it for some reason, then please provide me with some constructive critiscim on how I can improve it. Please do not post 'OMG I hate this story soooooo much it's so rubbish!1!!'
That sort of comment will not in any way help me and is not worth posting, really.
As a side note, all images featured on this thread are from We Heart It. I claim no ownership of them and they are here for illustration purposes only.
I hpe you enjoy ♥
:.Яєℓαρѕє.:
IT WAS night when he came.
He slipped out of the shadows like a silent, yet observant, spectre, surveying all before him before proceeding. Cautious and reserved, yet a sense of might emanated from him which made me strangely submissive before him.
Never before in my life had I ever been submissive towards another canine. I had always rebelled, pitted my will and strength against theirs, and I had always won. Always, I had been high on the dominance ranks.
Yet he was no other canine.
He was feral, wild, majestic. Untamed, liberated, untouched by civilization. The plethora of scents he carried on his grey pelt whispered of another world, one where no human had ventured. A world of running through vast expanses of terse, windswept grass, of basking in the rays of the perishing sun, of gazing at the infinitesimal sweep of stars and nebulas at night. A world which I had often fantasized of, dreamed of slipping away from the chains which bound me and plunging, plunging into the beckoning shadows of the forest.
He approached me, his tail raised, ears pricked, eyes somewhat inquisitive.
He did not seem afraid of the humans which slept in their shadowed tents, nor did he seem intimidated by the other dogs which slept soundly around me, oblivious to his presence. It was only me and him, analysing each other, cautious and wary.
His golden eyes gazed earnestly at me, in a somewhat friendly manner.
I growled at him, a deep, rumbling snarl which made my muzzle twist in rage.
He did not flinch, or seem discouraged by my abrupt display of anger. In fact, it seemed to please him. He lifted his gaze and looked me in the eye, growling softly.
His stare was penetrating, and as I stood, transfixed by those vibrant pools of gold, splintered with shards of honey brown and dull yellow, I felt something stir inside me. Some motivation had awoken inside me, something which had been buried by generations of taming. An intrinsic instinct which had remained obsolete for centuries.
I had no knowledge of its origin, but it made me want to be emancipated. To break away from the chains of society which bound me, and to run, liberated once more, alongside my pack-brother. I did not belong here, serving these humans which manipulated me to their will, who had forced me to capitulate and had burned out that ancient instinct inside me, that urge to run free.
And all throughout my sudden epiphany, he gazed at me steadily, patient, waiting. Waiting for an acknowledgement to his silent request.
Now I understood why he had come.
He had come to ask me to run with him. He would take me into the forest of my chimeras, where I could run forever under no-one's command.
I would be liberated.
Finally, I would be free.
And suddenly, I had the impetus to break free of my collar which made me Man's. Without that collar, which suddenly seemed like a noose of obligation around my neck, I would truly be feral. I would be no-one's dog. My fantasies were so nearly tangible it was infuriating.
I whined softly, begging for him to help me.
He understood instantly, and his golden eyes glittered with anticipation and he edged forwards, careful not to arouse the curiosity of the dogs still in deep slumber around me.
With great caution, he tentatively leaned over and began to gnaw at the simple fabric collar.
His scent wreathed around me, enticing, alluring, making my paws itch irresistibly to run. A scent which carried the memories of the place of my fantasies. The forest.
The basic collar was unable to withstand his strong lupine incisors and quite soon, he had gnawed it in two. It fell from my neck with no sound, along with the rope which had tied me to the humans.
The slight breeze whispered through my fur, massaging the place where the collar had been. I turned, and saw the shadowed mass of the forest. The branches wavered slightly, almost as if beckoning me to join them. He turned and raced towards the trees abruptly, leaving me standing, unchained, amongst my 'pack'.
He seemed to meld into the dark vegetation, and at first, I could no longer pick him out. Then, I notice the glint of his eyes, and knew that he was there, waiting, watching.
What should I do?
Should I relinquish my beloved pack, leave behind everything I'd ever known, or should I concede to my instincts and join my new pack-brother in the forest?
I looked back over my shoulder at my peacefully sleeping friends. They would be oblivious to the fact I was gone until the morning, when the humans came to wake them. This was my only chance. I could either go now, or stay amongst humans forever.
If I left right now, I would leave without a trace, other than a scent trail lingering in the grass and an eradicated collar.
Of course, they could try and track me down, but they would never find me. For by then, I would be long gone into the trees, far away from human reach. No, they would never be able to claim me again.
He remained in the shadows, a look of concern and doubt mingling in the euphoria in his eyes. He was perplexed at my abrupt caprice. What is wrong, pack-brother? Why won't you join me?
I hesitated.
Come. Run with me. You can be free. You could extricate yourself from the humans forever. There are many things I have to show to you. Come. Let me teach you the ways of the wild.
Finally, the primordial instinct to run wild once more won over. That indigenous desire, which had been dormant for centuries, was overpowering, overwhelming. I knew what I wanted, and, finally, it was all mine.
I broke into a lope and followed his tracks into the trees, away from Man and the tame dogs, with whom I had no association with any longer. Quite rapidly, all my doubts and nostalgia were fading into a dream, nothing but a mere memory in my mind.
He waited for me to catch up to him, and then together we bounded into the sinister shadows of the trees, our paws flying across the decaying leaf mould and rotting twigs. Each bound brought me more scents, scents of my old reveries, dreams, which had once been merely fantasies, become quite real.
As usual, do not steal this piece of work. It is mine and mine only. No, extracts from it may not feature on your thread/signature/anywhere else {not that anyone would want to use it, but just in case}.
If I find out it has been stolen, then I will be contacting moderators.
I would love critique and tips on how to improve it, but if you dislike it for some reason, then please provide me with some constructive critiscim on how I can improve it. Please do not post 'OMG I hate this story soooooo much it's so rubbish!1!!'
That sort of comment will not in any way help me and is not worth posting, really.
As a side note, all images featured on this thread are from We Heart It. I claim no ownership of them and they are here for illustration purposes only.
I hpe you enjoy ♥
:.Яєℓαρѕє.:
IT WAS night when he came.
He slipped out of the shadows like a silent, yet observant, spectre, surveying all before him before proceeding. Cautious and reserved, yet a sense of might emanated from him which made me strangely submissive before him.
Never before in my life had I ever been submissive towards another canine. I had always rebelled, pitted my will and strength against theirs, and I had always won. Always, I had been high on the dominance ranks.
Yet he was no other canine.
He was feral, wild, majestic. Untamed, liberated, untouched by civilization. The plethora of scents he carried on his grey pelt whispered of another world, one where no human had ventured. A world of running through vast expanses of terse, windswept grass, of basking in the rays of the perishing sun, of gazing at the infinitesimal sweep of stars and nebulas at night. A world which I had often fantasized of, dreamed of slipping away from the chains which bound me and plunging, plunging into the beckoning shadows of the forest.
He approached me, his tail raised, ears pricked, eyes somewhat inquisitive.
He did not seem afraid of the humans which slept in their shadowed tents, nor did he seem intimidated by the other dogs which slept soundly around me, oblivious to his presence. It was only me and him, analysing each other, cautious and wary.
His golden eyes gazed earnestly at me, in a somewhat friendly manner.
I growled at him, a deep, rumbling snarl which made my muzzle twist in rage.
He did not flinch, or seem discouraged by my abrupt display of anger. In fact, it seemed to please him. He lifted his gaze and looked me in the eye, growling softly.
His stare was penetrating, and as I stood, transfixed by those vibrant pools of gold, splintered with shards of honey brown and dull yellow, I felt something stir inside me. Some motivation had awoken inside me, something which had been buried by generations of taming. An intrinsic instinct which had remained obsolete for centuries.
I had no knowledge of its origin, but it made me want to be emancipated. To break away from the chains of society which bound me, and to run, liberated once more, alongside my pack-brother. I did not belong here, serving these humans which manipulated me to their will, who had forced me to capitulate and had burned out that ancient instinct inside me, that urge to run free.
And all throughout my sudden epiphany, he gazed at me steadily, patient, waiting. Waiting for an acknowledgement to his silent request.
Now I understood why he had come.
He had come to ask me to run with him. He would take me into the forest of my chimeras, where I could run forever under no-one's command.
I would be liberated.
Finally, I would be free.
And suddenly, I had the impetus to break free of my collar which made me Man's. Without that collar, which suddenly seemed like a noose of obligation around my neck, I would truly be feral. I would be no-one's dog. My fantasies were so nearly tangible it was infuriating.
I whined softly, begging for him to help me.
He understood instantly, and his golden eyes glittered with anticipation and he edged forwards, careful not to arouse the curiosity of the dogs still in deep slumber around me.
With great caution, he tentatively leaned over and began to gnaw at the simple fabric collar.
His scent wreathed around me, enticing, alluring, making my paws itch irresistibly to run. A scent which carried the memories of the place of my fantasies. The forest.
The basic collar was unable to withstand his strong lupine incisors and quite soon, he had gnawed it in two. It fell from my neck with no sound, along with the rope which had tied me to the humans.
The slight breeze whispered through my fur, massaging the place where the collar had been. I turned, and saw the shadowed mass of the forest. The branches wavered slightly, almost as if beckoning me to join them. He turned and raced towards the trees abruptly, leaving me standing, unchained, amongst my 'pack'.
He seemed to meld into the dark vegetation, and at first, I could no longer pick him out. Then, I notice the glint of his eyes, and knew that he was there, waiting, watching.
What should I do?
Should I relinquish my beloved pack, leave behind everything I'd ever known, or should I concede to my instincts and join my new pack-brother in the forest?
I looked back over my shoulder at my peacefully sleeping friends. They would be oblivious to the fact I was gone until the morning, when the humans came to wake them. This was my only chance. I could either go now, or stay amongst humans forever.
If I left right now, I would leave without a trace, other than a scent trail lingering in the grass and an eradicated collar.
Of course, they could try and track me down, but they would never find me. For by then, I would be long gone into the trees, far away from human reach. No, they would never be able to claim me again.
He remained in the shadows, a look of concern and doubt mingling in the euphoria in his eyes. He was perplexed at my abrupt caprice. What is wrong, pack-brother? Why won't you join me?
I hesitated.
Come. Run with me. You can be free. You could extricate yourself from the humans forever. There are many things I have to show to you. Come. Let me teach you the ways of the wild.
Finally, the primordial instinct to run wild once more won over. That indigenous desire, which had been dormant for centuries, was overpowering, overwhelming. I knew what I wanted, and, finally, it was all mine.
I broke into a lope and followed his tracks into the trees, away from Man and the tame dogs, with whom I had no association with any longer. Quite rapidly, all my doubts and nostalgia were fading into a dream, nothing but a mere memory in my mind.
He waited for me to catch up to him, and then together we bounded into the sinister shadows of the trees, our paws flying across the decaying leaf mould and rotting twigs. Each bound brought me more scents, scents of my old reveries, dreams, which had once been merely fantasies, become quite real.
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