{ ＩＮＫＬＩＮＧＳ } LOCK! NEW THREAD

[Small Child]

I went for a trip into the forest today with my father, sister and grandmother. It was wonderful getting away from the suburbia, and finding myself in a wonderland. Anyway, I wrote this thingy, and while it's not a story or a poem, I quite like it...

Crackling leaves curled to the shape of my bare foot as I pranced across them. There was only them to blame; I was but a wayward passer-by, they should have succumb to the green tinted wind which pulled my dark tresses away from me. They wouldn’t have fallen underfoot but alas, they remained unperturbed as I continued down the path. My focus was not directed at them, however, rather towards the docile wafting creatures dipping and gliding over my head.
The lightest of touches to my pale skin would leave a shiver down my spine at the purity of it all. Their delicate wings would give a gentle fly and leave no wind in their wake- unfair it was to the air who wished to be bestowed with the creatures’ kisses. Regardless, they were at harmony.
I was pleased to have been gifted at birth with sight. I now beheld the gentle beauty of the cascading butterfly dance above my head. I twirled once more on the mat of nature before allowing gravity to take me in its hands and pull me to the undergrowth. My delighted eyes drifted over the graceful movements above me, making the leaves I had trodden on jealous because they were clumsy and slow.
It was then that I realised how grateful I should be to live in such a place to be exposed to the wonders of nature’s children. The canopy broke with the wind and threw yellow beams across the floor, dancing to the wind music. This was the ballet of wildlife.

[Cherry]

It sounds kind of cool. A little spooky. I think there's be some cases where they would conquer their fear, but sometimes not.

Sorry if it sounds spooky, I just thought it would be interesting for me to do a themed story about a legend. Also, I was thinking something similar, thanks for the feedback (:

Oh, no, that's fine. I think it sounds interesting. I guess what another word I could have used is unsettling, which actually would definitely pull in your readers.

[sirène]

Oh, no, that's fine. I think it sounds interesting. I guess what another word I could have used is unsettling, which actually would definitely pull in your readers.

That is what i was going for (: Thankyou

[Rolly-chan]

Sigh.
I'm editing my novel so I can send it off to the publishers and it's so depressing to see all the mistakes I've made Dx.
How do you guys tell the negative voice to shush while writing?

While writing or while revising? While writing, I usually have no problems with my inner critic, because we've agreed that the editing will be left for revision. So first draft is pure creativity and planning. And bad writing and plotholes and cheating narrative and all that. But also for the rare instances of pure genius *g* because those are in there too.
I don't really see revising as something boring and evil. It can actually be quite fun. Because that's where you can make the story you want from the story you wrote. It's also where you can learn a lot. About what you can do better next time, what you should avoid, what is good and you can keep doing, etc. ^^
(Though it is frustrating at times, I must admit)

[Cherry]

I don't edit often (I need to, but I'm not really an editor. Things tend to get worse when I rewrite them, not better) but it's something important. If you make lots of typos, just know that everybody else does too! (I make some so much my iPod actually suggests it. It does that when you do it 4 times or so.)
If you mean another mistake -like mismatched tenses, bad dialogue- then that isn't anything to beat yourself up on.
If you make a HUGE error and read it and had some else read it and didn't see the problem, then you can kick yourself, but if you didn't, everybody makes mistakes. Writing isn't perfect, but editing can make it even better!

[Kodabomb]

Hey peoples! (^O^)
I really really need some advice on my Fractured Fairy Tale I'm writing for a school thing. Any ideas on how I can improve? I've fixed all the spelling and grammar mistakes my teacher pointed out, I just need adice on,
*making it more comical
*twisting it more
Thanks if you can help me! <3

Little Red Ninja

Once upon a time, there lived a pretty little girl who was the daughter of woodcutters, who lived in a mansion in the woods.
The little girl was not very ordinary. She was a ninja. Upon her shoulders she always wore her long, crimson-red ninja cloak that she won in a ninja-battle. It was her absolutely most prized possession, and she wore it everywhere and every day. Because of this, she adopted the name, ‘Little Red Ninja’.
One day, her mother interrupted her ninja-training. “Little Red Ninja, can you please take this basket to your grandmother’s house in the woods? She’s very sick and would love something to eat, and to see you,” said her mother. In the basket, Mother had placed some energy drink, two apples, and some chocolate muffins. Little Red took the basket and tucked it under her ninja-cloak, as her mother kissed her goodbye.
She then left the mansion and set off into the woods toward her grandmother’s house. It was quite a few miles away through the thick vegetation, but she was so fit, she could get there with ninja-speed with no trouble. She was perfectly brave enough to face anything that may confront her on her journey.
She was only partway into the forest when all of a sudden a huge, ferocious rainbow wolf leapt out from behind a tree and blocked her path.
Before the great wolf could say anything, Little Red Ninja was up in his face, seething.
“How DARE you block my path, you stupid rainbow wolf?” she roared.
The wolf was actually planning to kill and eat this seemingly innocent-looking girl. Now, he had other, less daring things on his mind.
“I was just about to ask you where you were headed,” he started.
“It’s none of your business! Get your nose out of my stuff! I’m going to my grandma’s!” she spat. The wolf, now terribly frightened, was about to run away. But suddenly, Little Red Ninja leapt up into the air and lightning-ninja’d the wolf off her path and into a tree.
Happy with her result of things going exactly her way (as usual), she skipped off into the forest again.
The wolf, on the other hand, lay limp on a tree branch, quite stunned. He had never been defeated before, and was always able to gobble up his target.
So of course, he was not going to let this pass. How could he be so weak as to let this girl just ninja him into a tree? He was the mighty rainbow wolf, ruler of the forest and all things rainbow!
He climbed down from the tree, shook himself off, and muttered to himself, “I will get my revenge…” Sniffing Little Red’s scent, he noticed the way that she used to get to her grandmothers. So the wolf took a shortcut, and made his way toward the house.
The wolf was very quick to arrive at the grandmother’s house, situated in a clearing surrounded by a lava moat full of lava-crocodiles. Luckily, the drawbridge to the tiny house was down, and he crossed the lava to the doorway.
Quietly, the rainbow wolf sneaked into the place and sniffed around. The walls and ceiling were almost completely plastered with posters of ninjas. She must have been obsessed.
Abruptly, the wolf heard a noise.
“Little Red Ninja? Is that you?” coughed a croaky, aging voice. Perfect! The wolf could gobble up the grandmother as his first step of revenge, then when Little Red Ninja arrived he could swiftly finish her off.
With a huge leap, he bounded around the corner to the grandmother’s bed, where she lay all sick and crippled. Just as he was about to come and grab Grandma by the neck, he heard footsteps.
No! Little Red Ninja must be back! he thought. With her back, he’d never get time to kill the Grandmother. So, instead, he scooped up the sick granny and tossed her into the closet. He made sure the door was shut and jumped into the bed, pulling the bonnet up over his rainbow face.
Little Red Ninja entered the room slowly, carrying the basket of treats.
Suddenly, she spotted the wolf in the bed, trying to pull off his grandmother charade.
“WHERE’S MY GRANDMA YOU MONGREL?!” she screamed in a huge rage. Suddenly she sprang up toward the wolf. He opened his huge mouth and with a big bite, swallowed the little girl whole.
“Ha! I’ve done it! I’ve got my revenge, and I’ll go home now,” he said with a grin. As he began to head to the door, there was a huge bang.
“Raaaaragghaaag!” screeched a voice. Shocked, the wolf whipped around just in time to see a slippered foot come flying toward him and hit him straight in the gut. He lurched, feeling very winded, and then got a sickening feeling. Little Red Ninja came flying out his mouth and landed next to her grandmother who was positioned in a ninja-crouch.
“Oh no, you’re BOTH ninjas?” moaned the wolf, as the grandmother struck his face with her foot and Little Red’s foot hit his ribcage.
He lay whining on the floor, covered in bruises. Little Red and Grandmother did a high-five, when suddenly another person burst through the doorway.
Little Red looked over and saw it was the local game huntsman, holding his gun, his knife and his iPhone. “Ninja Granny! I’m home!” he called.
“What? What’s he doing here?” Little Red asked, bewildered.
“Oh, didn’t you hear? The huntsman and I are engaged!” exclaimed Ninja Granny. She ran up and enthusiastically hugged the huntsman around the neck as they exchanged a huge kiss.
“Oh my ninja. I need to leave, like, now.” Mumbled Little Red, feeling absolutely disgusted. The wolf felt exactly the same, and before he started vomiting rainbows he followed the girl out the door into the clearing outside.
Suddenly, she grabbed the rainbow fur around his neck and hopped onto his back. Together, they rode off into the forest, suddenly best friends because of their disgust at Ninja Granny’s romantic interest in the huntsman.
Little Red taught the wolf how to be a ninja, the wolf taught Little Red how to make rainbows, and they both became rainbow ninjas.
They lived happily ever after.

[•PiCkLeS•]

Їптяоdцcтюи ➳
{Complete!}

♒♒♒♒♒♒♒♒

You may have heard the tale of Robin Hood, the greatest archer who ever lived. The brave, courageous, charming hero whom would rob the rich and give to the poor. I first heard this story when I had gone to the Mountains to join with the Rebels. That is when I learned Robin Hood and I shared much more than a name. My tale is much different from this medieval hero’s. His started long before North America was found, and mine started long after it had fallen. He and I were both part of a Greater Plan to help those in need, whether I knew what I was getting into or not. I too, was called a hero, but surely a little girl named Robyn Woods can’t be capable of anything great, right? Wrong.

♒♒♒♒♒♒♒♒

This is the intro to Robyn (my book) here is the link for what I have so far for the first chapter: Robyn

[Darius4Ever ~ ♥]

idea:

it follows a boy on a high school football team, the wide receiver. he is secretly gay, and has a crush on the quarterback, depressed and self-harms, and has eating disorders, but works hard to keep it all hidden. he's also an orphan and ran away from his foster home, and lives in a homeless shelter, staying with a few elderly women who he loves like they were his mother and aunts. bad summary but that's all i've got so far and i need to respond to a role-play. would anyone be interested in this?

[candu]

Sounds interesting, opia.
I'm considering writing something, I just need to decide a plot. I have a few idea which I'll post later.

[Zalia]

Allow the darkness to take you,
it will live inside of you,
let it drive you.
For you cannot live without it.

The rain shall poor down onto your little life,
allowing it to seep into the cracks of your hatred for others,
your Envy,
your Anger,
let it all become one.

Destroy their little lives,
each and every one.
For if you don't,
your life will be swallowed by theirs.
They will drown you out,
take your soul. Don't let go,
the Darkness is what keeps you alive, my friend.

Allow it to show you the truth,
of dreams,
Of life.
These people, they walk along as though nothing will happen.
But the more they know, the more they will become to hate you.
Yes, yes.
Let it take you, forever lasting death.

A fairly dark poem, still need to do some editing.