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Do you like this draft better than the first one so far?

I didn't think it could get better but then it DID
20
77%
hmm... dunno yet
2
8%
why. why did you change it. WHY -sobs-
1
4%
... I... didn't... there's another one...?
3
12%
 
Total votes : 26

not again

Postby ʞ ɔ ǝ ɹ ʍ d ı ʞ s » Thu Jun 25, 2015 7:27 pm

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west coast of England. may 14, 1707.

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            Vin awoke in an awkward slump, still in the chair he’d been in the night before. His injured arm was sprawled on the table beside him, and his face plastered against his upper arm. Blinking his eyes open, he stirred and immediately groaned, neck sore from the lopsided position. Slowly straightening, he brought a hand to the back of his neck, quickly realizing that pain was returning to his arm as the numbness prickled away.

            “Morning!” The gruff voice across from him dragged out the word for a painfully long amount of time. Vin’s head snapped up against despite the protest of his tense neck, brown eyes meeting the dark blue ones and wide grin of the scruffy man he’d met a few days prior- what had his name been? Right, Sam.

            “Um- Good morning,” Vin greeted distractedly, lifting his arm to examine the stitches that had somehow worked their way into his skin with a growing sense of unease. With a start, he noticed the table was void of the captain and quickly glanced around the room. “What happened?” He asked. “Where did everyone go?”

            Sam let out a laugh and swiped a bottle off the table, using it to gesture towards his peer. “What happened? I’ll tell ye what happened, mate. Ye bloody fainted!” The brunette’s already rosy complexion intensified with amusement. “As fer the whereabouts of e’ryone else,” he grunted, continue to struggle with the bottle, “they got bored o’ waitin’ fer ya to wake up.” Finally, he smashed the thing against the edge of the table and smiled in accomplishment as the cap popped off, proceeding to bring the bottle to his lips.

            Vin pursed his lips in thought. He vaguely remembered a needle prick or two, but then he’d made the mistake of watching the metal pierce his ragged flesh. He cringed at the memory and shoved it away before he had the chance to grow light headed once more. “So why are you here?” He asked, attempting to distract himself for the time being.

            “I-” Sam began before pointing a finger at Vin, and then himself in turn, “was told to watch yer arse, since apparently, my arse doesn’t do nothin’ else. Oh, and I was told to warn ye,” he added casually, words trailing off as they were muffled by rum.

            Vin raised a questioning eyebrow. “Warn me? Of what?” He inquired.

            “Well, ye see,” Sam started with a quiet laugh that held much less humor than before, sliding the bottle back onto the table and replacing the empty space in his hand with a small wooden box that had been sitting upon the surface, “ye seem to have thrown the captain into a barmy fit, ye did,” he said frankly. “Took all three of us to convince her to leave ye be, at least ‘till ye were conscious, that is.”

            Vin was instantly rushed by a mixture of feelings, including anger, offense, and surprise. “She is angry with me?” He scoffed. “I saved her from that bastardo! Cioè ridiculoud-”

            “Slow down mate, I don’t speak… That,” Sam grumbled, distracted by the contents of the small box in his hands, sifting through it with a finger. “But from what I understand, ye did whatever she told ye not t’ do.” He then held up a golden molar between his fingers and examined it carefully. “Think the ol’ man would notice if I made meself a pretty little necklace with all them gold teeth?” He asked with a mischievous grin.

            Vin paused, pressing his lips into a thin line. “Is that box filled with-” he stopped mid-sentence and shook his head in frustration. “No. Why would she be- h- he would have-” he stammered in an attempt to find the words before Sam cut him off, leaning forward and gesturing with the gold tooth he still pinched between his thumb and forefinger.

            “Ye didn’t get the ring,” he pointed out slowly. Dread and regret seeped into Vin’s blood. “A split lip ain’t nothin’ compared to th’ cap’n’s shattered pride,” Sam continued. “Prancin’ around in a bloody dress only to return half awake and empty handed, runnin’ from the consequence of a failed mission?” He shook his head and sat back. “She already had plenty o’ reason to resent ye b’fore, mate,” Sam pointed out, spinning the tooth casually. “What with sneakin’ on ‘er ship n’ all- not to mention yer coordinates.”

            Dread and regret filled Vin, face blanching. How could he forget the ring? However, he immediately looked up, brows pinched, at the last mention. “The coordinates? On the stone?” He asked in a confused tone. “What’s wrong with-”

            “Nothin’,” Sam said quickly, setting the box on the table only to replace it once more with the bottle while waving his free hand dismissively. He then looked up in surprise as Vin stood and made his way towards the stairs. “Oi! Where ye goin’?”

            “I cannot very well hide down here forever,” Vin pointed out. “What can she possibly do?”

            Sam choked on rum, sending him into a coughing fit. By the time he caught his breath and held up a finger, Vin was gone. Frowning, he leaned back heavily, quickly deciding to stay put. He’ll be back soon enough.

            Meanwhile, Vin marched up the stairs with a stony expression. Surely the curly-haired man has just been exaggerating? Surely the captain would be somewhat grateful- he may have forgotten the ring, but he did save her, after all. He could have just turned tail and ran, but he didn’t. Surely that counted for something?

            The moment he stepped on deck, he was found by a ghostly pair of eyes that instantly narrowed. The captain curled her lip in disgust and irritation, causing a flash of gold to catch the sunlight. Seeing as her tooth had been knocked out the night before, it had been replaced with one made of gold, hence the box of brazen teeth Sam had been toying with below deck. Her lips were stitched where they’d been split and the lack of blood-colored lipstick made her look considerably younger in itself. The gash on her head was not nearly as bad as it had seemed to be, and was promptly left to heal on it’s own.

            As usual, Thorton stood pointedly beside her, and, as usual, knew precisely what thoughts had entered her mind in that moment. Even so, he made no move to stop the fiery redhead as she made her way down the stairs with heavy steps.

            “Ha!” The hushed outcry emitted from Benny, who had been standing near the tail and turned his head to see what had caught the captain’s attention. With a smug grin, he twisted around and nudged Finnegan beside him with an elbow. “What’d I tell ya? Dense as a rock.”

            With a roll of his eyes, the older man dug into his pocket and flicked a coin in the young man’s direction, which he eagerly caught and pocketed himself, though not before testing it’s genuinity between his teeth.

            “What the hell is he doin’ up here?” Scarlet snarled at the boy, despite the fact that her eyes had not left the new addition.

            “Hey, I told Sam t’ keep ‘im down there!” Benny shouted defensively before jumping back with a start at her glare. “Cap’n,” he added hastily.

            Scarlet let out a sigh between her teeth and rolled her eyes. “Bloody fool can’t keep the rum down his throat half the time,” she muttered under her breath.

            “Is there a reason I should not be up here?” Vin dared to ask in a flat tone, drawn impatient by the pain in his arm as well as the idea that any person could be so daft as to be angry with anyone who saved their skin.

            Heads turned at the remark, and some closer men even took a few paces further away from him. Though Vin did not falter, even when Scarlet raised an eyebrow at him with dangerously cold eyes. However, his heart may have quickened just a tad when she continued to approach him this time pulling her sword. His eyes widened slightly when she pressed the tip to his chest, increasing the pressure when he staggered back a step.

            “Ye dare question me on my own ship?” She said quietly, a rasping and humorless laugh escaping her throat and causing her new tooth to glare in the dying sunlight. Her grin then fell like lead and she hissed through her teeth, “Who the hell do you think you are?”

            “The reason you are here,” Vin countered cautiously, though he couldn’t quite keep the sting from his words.

            To his misled relief, Scarlet lowered her sword after a moment of hesitation, though it was short lived. As he righted himself, she closed the distance between them with a few long strides, the brim of her hat nearly brushing his nose, as she wore heeled boots that assisted with her lack of height. “Yer right,” she said simply, watching with morbid satisfaction as she watched the fear drain from his face and took a step back.

            Then, in an instant, she lifted her sword and struck him across the face with the hilt and a splitting crack, causing the man to stumble a good few steps back before she leaned forward and spat, “That does not excuse yer lack of obedience or yer accursed forgetfulness, rat.”

            Vin’s hand immediately flew to his face as pain coursed through it, his fingertips immediately met with the touch of blood. Though he glanced up at the captain and heard her words, he could only hang his head as a familiar throb surged through his previously broken nose. “Non di nuovo,” he groaned quietly in frustration.

            Before any further damage could be done, a cry carried over the deck that made Scarlet turn her head towards the source.

            “Approaching Merseyside, cap’n!”

            With a last glare at her victim, Scarlet hastily turned and returned to the helm. Vin watched her through narrowed eyes, doubled over as blood dripped down his lips and the right hand side of his face. It seemed nothing less than vile for a woman- or any human- to inflict pain upon another who was already suffering for their sake. His mind whirred, unable to understand it, though not a trace of the incident still remained in the captain’s distracted expression. In fact, when she turned to face the wheel, he could have sworn he caught a hint of-

            “God almighty,” Benny cackled, grabbing Vin’s upper arm and pulling him back towards the stairs. “What’s it gonna take, a ball n’ chain?”

            “What?” Vin mused distractedly, pulling his head around from over his shoulder to look down at the boy.

            “T’ keep ya out of trouble! Damn,” he said with a shake of his head, dragging him down the stairs. “That’s a break fer sure."

            Letting out a heavy sigh, Vin pressed his lips together and lifted his uninjured arm, smearing blood across his sleeve. A distant part of him cringed at the stain, but he was beginning to realize he had more to worry about than neat hair and stunning whites. Though when the thought struck, he ran an impulsive hand through his hair. Maybe he still cared about that.

            Benny giggled all the way down, his laughter shared by Sam the moment the two showed themselves and the man threw his arms in the air with a wide grin. “Welcome back, mate!”

            Image

            wip
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Last edited by ʞ ɔ ǝ ɹ ʍ d ı ʞ s on Sat Jun 27, 2015 3:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: ▬ | S W I N D L E | ▬ ▬ ✖

Postby katomorakwarrior » Fri Jun 26, 2015 1:19 pm

Now, I'm back to thinking Vin should knuckle up and leave.
Remind me again. (If you haven't said yet, you need not spoil it.)
Why is Vin sticking around? Why does he care so much about these silly little rocks anyway?
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Re: ▬ | S W I N D L E | ▬ ▬ ✖

Postby ʞ ɔ ǝ ɹ ʍ d ı ʞ s » Fri Jun 26, 2015 1:21 pm

    THAT comes into play later >:)
    hence why I keep bringing up the "why are you even here" thing without answering it
    on a side note, he's also patient to a fault... and not all that street smart
    (Besides, he doesn't really have anywhere to go. In too deep now oh man)
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Re: ▬ | S W I N D L E | ▬ ▬ ✖

Postby WolvesOfFire » Fri Jun 26, 2015 1:45 pm

and he secretly doesn't want to leave because of Scarlet
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Re: ▬ | S W I N D L E | ▬ ▬ ✖

Postby casimir » Mon Aug 17, 2015 7:40 am

      gentle reminder to get your lazy custard-sucking butt in gear.
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Re: ▬ | S W I N D L E | ▬ ▬ ✖

Postby katomorakwarrior » Tue Aug 18, 2015 10:27 am

I wouldn't exactly word it quite like that, but -- yes. I agree.
For goodness' sake, get writing already!
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Re: ▬ | S W I N D L E | ▬ ▬ ✖

Postby ʞ ɔ ǝ ɹ ʍ d ı ʞ s » Tue Aug 18, 2015 10:29 am

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Re: ▬ | S W I N D L E | ▬ ▬ ✖

Postby casimir » Fri Oct 23, 2015 9:41 am

      u gonna like
      keep going or u gonna
      write nevermore
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Re: ▬ | S W I N D L E | ▬ ▬ ✖

Postby Asherwy » Fri Oct 23, 2015 1:53 pm

      mebbe she's like
      secretly working on a draft in docs or word
      and she's not telling us
      or she's busy with NaNo
      who knows with cap anyway
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Re: ▬ | S W I N D L E | ▬ ▬ ✖

Postby ʞ ɔ ǝ ɹ ʍ d ı ʞ s » Fri Oct 23, 2015 1:54 pm

    Im working on it I totally swear Im working on it theres no way Id ever abandon this but first
    yes
    nano
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