{ ＩＮＫＬＩＮＧＳ } LOCK! NEW THREAD

[empunich;]

Well, I've been trying to do... Something here, any tips or critique for this please? And note that the last line is part of the... Thing

I no not of love and kindness,
Nor beauty or grace,

Kindness and honesty are virtues that I will never posses,
And to me hope and justice will always falter,

For I am the girl, that dances with fire,
I hold demons in my hands,
Always alone in the world dancing around the fire,
I'll watch the flames as they dance around my feet ,
No more time to save me,
Darkness is my only friend.

Friendship I will never know,
Nor happiness and courage,

Def am I to pride and forgiveness,
Bravery and patience

For I am the girl that dances with fire,
I catch your teardrops in my palms,
Always alone in the world dancing around the fire,
The flames climb higher and higher 'round my feet,
No more time to save me,
Darkness is my only friend.

Whispers pounding through my head urging me through time,
Though I am dancing in the starlight I think not that it is pretty,
Spinning 'round and 'round the ever growing flames

So follow me, follow me, follow me, follow me into the darkness...

For I am the girl that dances with fire,
I catch blood drops in my arms,
Always alone in the world dancing around the fire,
The night grows darker, flames glow brighter,
No more time to save me,
Any last requests?

[TheSongOfTheStars]

Wow Typhonic that's dark! The only things I noticed was that you spelled 'know' in the first line as 'no'
and in the thirteenth line "Deaf" as 'def'

[Iselka]

I have discovered a writing site called Figment. It's great, but you have to be 13 or over, For any kids reading this' info.

[WilloweWolf]

Anyone willing to critique this?

[LYKOICXDED]

Story idea, coming from an RP I just made...

Parents? Dead. Siblings? Dieing. Best friend? A droid you built when you where 6. Future? Unknown.

It had been a bright spring morning as you sat and played with your siblings and your siblings guardian droids. You where the first generation to get guardian droids. This erased the use in parents. And when government agents came and kidnapped your parents, leaving you to fend for yourself and somehow survive, you wonder who to trust. Will you continue to look up to your droid companion for help, or betray them and shut them down.. Forever? Join Shasta, a 15 year old girl, as she figures out the struggle of the real world as she fights to keep her brother, Kyle, alive, and remain free from the government's grasp.

[Aliria]

I decided to make an extremely interactive story to see what sort of stories people like most. This is hopefully going to be a good learning opportunity and a good story, so I'd like people to look at it and vote and stuff, so I can actually do this.

Link

[watermelon.]

I'm a bad girl.
I judge books by their cover... but haven't we all at some time?
Quick poll:

Do you ever judge books by their cover? Do you think a good cover draws you to the book more than a boring or ugly one? When picking up a book with an unattractive cover- what do you do?

[LYKOICXDED]

I hate my laptop so much.

It looses internet connection just as I finish writing something new. And I loose it all. And now it's not connecting to internet but my ipad is connected just fine.

[Aliria]

I'm a bad girl.
I judge books by their cover... but haven't we all at some time?
Quick poll:

Do you ever judge books by their cover? Do you think a good cover draws you to the book more than a boring or ugly one? When picking up a book with an unattractive cover- what do you do?

I don't usually judge book by their covers. I usually find books at the library by looking for interesting titles, and then read the blurb, and then decide. I barely pay attention to the covers, but I certainly judge book by their titles (and blurbs, but that's later).

[Silverhart]

I'm a bad girl.
I judge books by their cover... but haven't we all at some time?
Quick poll:

Do you ever judge books by their cover? Do you think a good cover draws you to the book more than a boring or ugly one? When picking up a book with an unattractive cover- what do you do?

No, I try not to judge a book by it's cover. However certain covers do attract my eye, and will make me more likely to pick a book up. I'm attracted to covers that depict scenes from the book, or which have a painterly, or otherwise traditional artistic quality. I'm not a huge fan of random objects on covers, or abstracty photos manipulations or whatever they're called, but those types of covers alone won't deter me from picking up and reading a book.

So, yes and no. I am attracted to certain covers, because I'm a visual person who has definite likes and dislikes. But I won't purchase a book based soley on that fact (usually - once I found a cover I thought was so awesome I had to get it - to it's credit the book turned out pretty good). I have to look at the back, and like to at least read through the first paragraph. Even when I'm "judging by the cover", the cover may show something I find appealing in a story - a certain place, or character, or scene, or historical setting that I enjoy reading about.

And again, I can pick up a book with a cover I find pretty ho-hum or dull, and if the back seems intriguing I'll happily give it a chance.