{ ＩＮＫＬＩＮＧＳ } LOCK! NEW THREAD

[Silverhart]

Thoughts on killing off your characters?

I hate doing it. I've been pretty vocal about my ideas on it in the past. I think too many writers use it as a crutch. They depend on it to make a scene emotional, a character sympathetic, or to make the story as a whole more "mature/realistic/sad/dramatic", but for me it comes across as lazy. You should be able to make your reader care without resorting to killing characters. Not too mention, killing off too many desensitizes your reader, until they no longer care what happens to characters. As a result, I'm pretty picky about killing my characters. Only when it advances the plot. Only when it is a major turning point. Never simply for the "drama".

When it comes to the first line of your/any story, what's your thoughts on them? Do you think the first line matters? Doesn't matter?
Of course! It's the hook. If a story doesn't grab my attention in the first three sentences I don't read it. There are millions of books I want to read, and if an author can't grab my attention in this literal sea of books, I will move on to the next one. Often I judge a book I want to buy on the first line. If it's a good one, I read on to see if it's for me. If not, it goes straight back on the self.

So yes, when you want to attract readers to a story it does matter. If you're just writing for yourself, or on a first draft I don't think it matters as much whether it's attention grabbing. But the line should at least be interesting enough that it grabs your attention and prompts you to keep writing.

[mantlepiece]

Thoughts on killing off your characters?
If there is a special purpose in it (and it's realistic) then yes, do it.

When it comes to the first line of your/any story, what's your thoughts on them? Do you think the first line matters? Doesn't matter?
The first line matters very much in my opinion. If I am not drawn into the story by the first few sentences then there's a good chance I won't read the rest. The thing that draws me in is action or interesting dialogue tipically. Yeah, i'm a picky reader (sorry). >w<

[empunich;]

The endless frozen landscape greets my eyes, it's blurry image fragmented by the seeting sun. It remains still,
hungrily awaiting the sun to complete it's slow decent below the horizion, hoping desperaty to claim another lost
and lonley soul.

I close my eyes, my will broken, alost as if I expected that this horror story would fade away back into the reality I
knew so well. My bedroom, with peeling blue wallpaper with patches of mould up near the weather wornwindows. The oaken
rim around them shimmering in the warm glow from the sunlight and the rickety desk, sitting in the corner pilled high
with stacks of notes and books. I reopen my eyes and stare blnkly down the seemingly infinante plateu of ice.
The moon silhouettes my body onto the cool ground, my shadow copying my every move, like some sort of creepy puppet
dance. I rise back onto my feet, hpoing to bring some amount of warmth into my long frozen joints. My shadow follows me as
I begin to walk into nihility, I drag my tired feet across the ground, the physical exersion and the glacial temperature
getting to me. My eyes sting and my entire body is racked with pain with every step I take. I breath through my nose, in
fear that opening my mouth will burn my lungs and freeze my throat. I look back up at the horizon, the sun now barley
visable above the skyline. I fold my arms over my hest in a feeble attempt to store body heat. My mind, which would
usually be buzzing with questions and confusion, reains quiet, offering no encouragment or help. How I got here, is to
much for my brain to even attempt to guess, but I am here... Dying, and that, for now, is all I need to know. My eyes
remain staring dead ahead, from both being painful for me to move them and fear that the now ful moon will absorb my soul
as I lay motionless on the ice. I swallow hard and my throat burns from the lack of liquid, I feel like death wouldn't be
the worst option at the moment, but the few memories I have, and the fact that everything exepct my brain is telling me
to keep going, is enough to force me forwards, even besides the pain.


This is how people are driven mad isn't it? I think to myself, isolation, starvation, dehydration and a constant echo of
screams bounding through your head... Wonderful. Now the fact that I am convinced that I am going mad, I actually might
start to lose my sanity. And to think I was such an obsessionist of Antarctica. Ha, welcome to paradise!

***
My breathing begins to sound shaky and rough and my arms are practically frozen together at this point. If I could descibe
any place on Earth as Hell... This would most definitly be it. the moon seemingly dances mockingly in front of my face, as
if to tease me. It's practically saying: "you can see me, but you'll never catch me." A sudden gust of frosty wind blows
over me, as if Antarctica was trying to embrace me, and not in a friendly way. The sun had encouraged me to move on, how
stupid I felt to trust the sun. I could picture it laughing at me now, teasing about what a waste of time it had been since
the moon was basicaly luring me into a frozen death bed. I think I just personified the sun and moon... Maybe I'm already
insane? The blat of frozen air stings my incovered face and my stomach lurches with every individual step I take. My
breathing worsens and the air around me seems to suddenly turn solid and unbreathable. I struggle to catch my now
excruciatingly painful breathing.



any clues where I should go with this? I may give prize to best idea... maybe))

[LYKOICXDED]

The endless frozen landscape greets my eyes, it's blurry image fragmented by the seeting sun. It remains still,
hungrily awaiting the sun to complete it's slow decent below the horizion, hoping desperaty to claim another lost
and lonley soul.

I close my eyes, my will broken, alost as if I expected that this horror story would fade away back into the reality I
knew so well. My bedroom, with peeling blue wallpaper with patches of mould up near the weather wornwindows. The oaken
rim around them shimmering in the warm glow from the sunlight and the rickety desk, sitting in the corner pilled high
with stacks of notes and books. I reopen my eyes and stare blnkly down the seemingly infinante plateu of ice.
The moon silhouettes my body onto the cool ground, my shadow copying my every move, like some sort of creepy puppet
dance. I rise back onto my feet, hpoing to bring some amount of warmth into my long frozen joints. My shadow follows me as
I begin to walk into nihility, I drag my tired feet across the ground, the physical exersion and the glacial temperature
getting to me. My eyes sting and my entire body is racked with pain with every step I take. I breath through my nose, in
fear that opening my mouth will burn my lungs and freeze my throat. I look back up at the horizon, the sun now barley
visable above the skyline. I fold my arms over my hest in a feeble attempt to store body heat. My mind, which would
usually be buzzing with questions and confusion, reains quiet, offering no encouragment or help. How I got here, is to
much for my brain to even attempt to guess, but I am here... Dying, and that, for now, is all I need to know. My eyes
remain staring dead ahead, from both being painful for me to move them and fear that the now ful moon will absorb my soul
as I lay motionless on the ice. I swallow hard and my throat burns from the lack of liquid, I feel like death wouldn't be
the worst option at the moment, but the few memories I have, and the fact that everything exepct my brain is telling me
to keep going, is enough to force me forwards, even besides the pain.


This is how people are driven mad isn't it? I think to myself, isolation, starvation, dehydration and a constant echo of
screams bounding through your head... Wonderful. Now the fact that I am convinced that I am going mad, I actually might
start to lose my sanity. And to think I was such an obsessionist of Antarctica. Ha, welcome to paradise!

***
My breathing begins to sound shaky and rough and my arms are practically frozen together at this point. If I could descibe
any place on Earth as Hell... This would most definitly be it. the moon seemingly dances mockingly in front of my face, as
if to tease me. It's practically saying: "you can see me, but you'll never catch me." A sudden gust of frosty wind blows
over me, as if Antarctica was trying to embrace me, and not in a friendly way. The sun had encouraged me to move on, how
stupid I felt to trust the sun. I could picture it laughing at me now, teasing about what a waste of time it had been since
the moon was basicaly luring me into a frozen death bed. I think I just personified the sun and moon... Maybe I'm already
insane? The blat of frozen air stings my incovered face and my stomach lurches with every individual step I take. My
breathing worsens and the air around me seems to suddenly turn solid and unbreathable. I struggle to catch my now
excruciatingly painful breathing.



any clues where I should go with this? I may give prize to best idea... maybe))

Maybe you'd collapse and black out then awaken in a camp.. Hmm..

[WilloweWolf]

Thoughts on killing off your characters?
I honestly don't like to kill off my characters if I can avoid it. My friend suggested that I kill one of my characters in Bound for Freedom after I told her that they're just kind of sitting around talking about a prophecy, but all three are main characters that I plan to be there at the end, so I can'r exactly do that yet...
When it comes to the first line of your/any story, what's your thoughts on them? Do you think the first line matters? Doesn't matter?
The first line of my story is usually the random sentence that starts me on something of a quest. So, to me, it's very important. It's my starting point, the first peek at what's under the gift wrap. First lines are almost the most important part of the story to me.(almost, mind you.)

[ouraniae]

Thoughts on killing off your characters?
hm, i've never had to do it, but i probably will once or twice in this upcoming nano.
there's a little cool thing, i think it's called the traveling shovel of doom? it involves killing off any character of yours with -you guessed it- a shovel. it's one way of getting my word count up, aha
When it comes to the first line of your/any story, what's your thoughts on them? Do you think the first line matters? Doesn't matter?
first line matters so so so much to me!! multiple times i've skipped over a story because it's first line wasn't attention-grabbing enough. i know it's poor to judge an entire book on, but it's still very important to me.

[*~.Imagination.~*]

Oh gooosh nanowrimo is coming up im going to die my plot is so vague.

Also, anyone willing to critique poetry? im going to a poetry slam but I want to make sure my poem works and flows well.

This is a poem told by age.
1. I have lived only 365 days

But I have spent almost every one of them

Already acquainted with you.


2.We are playmates.

We learn to count together-
1, 2,


3. You speak before me.

You are forming sentences

While my mouth is still struggling around the curves of my name.


4. We understand what it means to be friends-

We are no longer incoherent entities

Just existing within the same vicinity.


5. Best friends.

I know not from where I learn the term

But by now it is as familiar to me as your name.


6. There are three of us now,

Our own little group.

But you and me,

We came first,

And we agree 

That’s the way it should always be.


7.We walk through the woods behind your house.

I know to you

This is familiar terrain-

But to me this is an endless landscape.

This is my first memory of adventure-

Playing follow the leader

Through the forest.

To me, 

You are Peter Pan,

And I am the embodiment of every lost boy-

Just walking in your footsteps,

In your shadow-

But glad to be there.


8. I notice you are sensitive about your weight

But I don’t know why.

I always hated how small I was-

How thin.

How frail.

How weak.

But you were big,

And strong-

And I envied that about you. 

You were someone to look up to.


9. You tell me you are fine.

You tell me you are always fine.

I believe you back then.


10. Past troubles seem forgotten.

You are young and free

And once again,

Always with me. 


11. Best friends.

This is more than a label to me-

It is sacred. 

I won’t let anyone else call me this.

If they do I will correct them without tact or hesitation.


12. We are never without each other.

Dumb pictures,

Silly pictures, 

Made up games.

Sitting on the curb near your house,

Chugging Sprite at midnight.

We have three different necklaces.

Each one comes in a pair and says,

“Best friends”.


13. I start school.

I no longer learn with you,

But it’s okay,

I say,

We will still be together.

Still best friends.


14. We’ve drifted apart.

I don’t really see you anymore.

Don’t really have time.

I convince myself 

That my absence is temporary.

I convince myself 

That I will be there when it matters.

As if there could be a time where it did not matter.


15. I no longer doodle on your arm in sharpie.

Unbeknowest to me

As the ink fades

And I’m not there to replace it

You take it upon yourself to retrace it.

Only you do not use a pen.

As the drawings fades

You filled the spaces

With red.

And the slits spelled out 
“Best Friends”.

[Meweep]

I really want to do a story about intelligent cats yet include other aspects such as the setting being futuristic. I decided to write a small piece and want to know if anyone likes it or can help with the plot. ouo

Many years after humans have developed marvelous technology they found Earth unhabitable after testing animals over and over, the animals grew overly vigorous. They started to develop their own language and develop actions that normally would frighten any typical person. Wolves became contaminated beasts, turtles like living tanks. Soon they couldn't control all of the creatures, some escaped into the wild to breed even more ferocious and fierce animals. Normally at this time they all ready had 'space ships' and advanced mechanization. They tried to kill off the unnecessary unconfined animals but soon learned they had all ready spread global. Extensive searches to exterminate them failed continuously. At the time living on different planets was in mind, and had all ready happened. Soon the did just that, leaving the the animals to fend for themselves. Some became extinct, some thrived significantly. The most dominant and intelligent animals killed off smaller kinds and the whole Earth soon divided into parts. Some territories gained unoffical claims and names. Birds and avian creatures took over the sky and a small territory on land for nests and such. The birds now like giant flying feathered dragons. A larger piece went to reptiles such as turtles, tuatara, squamate's, and crocodilian's. The second largest piece to the equine, their lands including vast fields and grazing lands. The leader of these equnie's donated a part of their land to pigs. The pigs only mutated and gained new traits. They were only used for eating away unnecessary animals and not needed commodities. The largest lands went to canines, the powerful dogs could take down equines with a few powerful blows. The sea's of course went to the aquatic sea life that flourished. Last and sometimes least the felines took the rest of the land, a medium sized portion that included the bile the other lands would discard into a corner of their land. The felines territory included the leftovers of what the other empire's did not need. Each land was known as a nation, country, or kingdom. The reptiles call their land the land of Tatsu's, the dull skies known as the Arial Flight, and the equines named their land the Barrens. The canines land took the name of Unified Packs, the sea's known as the Water Lands, and the felines land known as Keuji's for the chaos that rules and unorganized lands seemed to mash up words to make it sound fascinating and enchanting. The Tatsu's known for their defence, the Arial Flight known for their speed and wings, the Barrens known for their intelligence, the Unified Packs for their strength, the Water Lands known for their 'water breathing' abilities, and the Keuji's known for the choas that corrupts their land.

Added the rest of the prologue! Really want to know what you guys think, need some critique to, i'm not experienced very with writing.

Near the edge of the Keuji territory sat a peice of the land called the Lavender Fields. One of the only places that did glow and shimmer with delight in Keuji. Within the favorable fields of lavender sat a family of large brown tabby alley cats. The one kit nursed from her mother happily.
"Nyssa come on, it's getting dark. We don't want the scary monster's to come." The mother nuzzled her kit then nudged her to get moving. Nyssa huffed and crinkled her hazed face before slowly getting up on her fours. Her mother stood strongly and picked Nyssa up softly by her scruff. Nyssa wigged around cheerfully and swooshed her tail around. The mother started to pad away from the land deeper in the land. Nyssa started to drift back to sleep, the swaying putting her to sleep like a cradle would. " I love you." Nyssa uttered smiling and closing her sleepy eyes.

The skies roared fiecely as Nyssa awoke suddenly. It felt like constant hiccups as her mother ran rapidly.
"Why are you running so fast mommy? What happened?"
Nyssa started to wiggle again, so signs of fear. Irritated she huffed again, "Mommy!"
The sunset disapeared as colossal harrier swung it's wings over the sky blocking most of the light. Nyssa looked upon the bird, it's long legs reaching out to her. She smiled excitedly.
" Mommy he's gonna hug us!" Her mother shook in her fur making a sudden break, the bird skimmed the ground a few paces in front of the feline's.
Nyssa's eyes were wide with enthusiasm as it regained balence in the field. The bird's powerful wings flapped strongly as it launched swiftly into the air once more. Nyssa found herself being swung again as her mother started to run again. Nyssa felt as if she was watching a show, she giggled as the bird turned to her reaching out with it's talons. She lost her smile as her mother dropped low letting her go. Nyssa's mother crouched down nudging Nyssa under her.
" Nyssa close your eyes and pretend your a shadow, it'll be fun." She hesitantly smiled at her kitten.
Nyssa snickered laying flat on the warm ground and shut her eyes. A sudden swoop and hiss was all Nyssa heard as she laid within the lavender.
"Okay mommy, now what?" Nyssa peeked an eye.
"Mommy?"
Nyssa stood up scanning the horizon carefully. Niether her mother nor the mighty winged beast could be seen.
"Where are you mommy?" Nyssa's breathing and voice became hoarse as she turned in a circle searching for her. Nyssa's eyes watered and she stomped her front paw.
"Mommy stop it! I don't wanna play anymore!" The kitten shook coldly and shrunk down into the lavender again. Lost she started to cry, "Where are you?" Nyssa thought digging her small soft claws into the earth under her.
The fresh aroma of lavender losing it's pleasant smell. Nyssa stood again and studied the purple fields. A small dark cat like figure a bit bigger then a dot stood strongly at the end of the field.
"Mommy!" Nyssa cried out happily. She started to run torward it, excited to see her once more Nyssa fastly padded to her. She cried as she met her mothers warm furonce more, nuzzling herself into it cozzily. Her mother licked the top of her head then took a step back.
"Mommy where were you? I missed you so much!" Nyssa looked up at her mother's messy dull brown fur.
" Huh?" Nyssa looked confused, the large cat kept no expression on her face and her deep cold green eyes. Her matted dark brown and white fur was no longer warm.
"Hello there." The large queen smiled, her green tongue slightly glew as she did, oddly when she spoke it was out. Nyssa's face was no longer shining with excitement. She hissed and gave a aggressive look, the queen took a step torward her.
"Where's my mom? What did you do with her!?" Nyssa said loudly as she bared her teeth.
The large cat sighed looking at her.
"Your mom probably either abandoned you or died, anything else?" The cat lost her smile and stared straight into the kittens eyes. Nyssa's face crinkled up again in a sorrowful way. She started to hyperventilate and weaked her muscles. Cold overwhelmed her as the sun escaped the sky. Nyssa wasn't sure what to think, the large queen licked her head again. Nyssa meowed loudly as she cried out. Yowling she dug her claws into the soft mud. A soft drizzle swept across the fields. Nyssa's face now covered in water, tears and rain matted her dull fur. The lavender now tattered and briused. The queen sat simply watching the kitten. Nyssa's instincts kicked as she dived into the large cat's silky fur. Nyssa shivered under her, still yowling out. The queen nuzzled the kitten under her, curling her fluffy tail around Nyssa.
" I'm Azolla, i'll care for you now. Do you want to come with me?" The queen pulled her head up looking into Nyssa's eyes.
Nyssa didn't answer but kept crying out in the night.
The cat's stayed this way until the drizzle stopped and Nyssa gained a headache from the balling.
" I will." Nyssa opened her eyes slightly, calming staring at Azolla's tail.
Azolla smiled getting up slowly, she adjusted herself as Nyssa followed.
" Let's go somewhere more pleasant, eh?" Azolla turned to the kitten, Nyssa nodded as they slowly left the ravaged land.

[TheSongOfTheStars]

Oh gooosh nanowrimo is coming up im going to die my plot is so vague.

Also, anyone willing to critique poetry? im going to a poetry slam but I want to make sure my poem works and flows well.

This is a poem told by age.
1. I have lived only 365 days

But I have spent almost every one of them

Already acquainted with you.


2.We are playmates.

We learn to count together-
1, 2,


3. You speak before me.

You are forming sentences

While my mouth is still struggling around the curves of my name.


4. We understand what it means to be friends-

We are no longer incoherent entities

Just existing within the same vicinity.


5. Best friends.

I know not from where I learn the term

But by now it is as familiar to me as your name.


6. There are three of us now,

Our own little group.

But you and me,

We came first,

And we agree 

That’s the way it should always be.


7.We walk through the woods behind your house.

I know to you

This is familiar terrain-

But to me this is an endless landscape.

This is my first memory of adventure-

Playing follow the leader

Through the forest.

To me, 

You are Peter Pan,

And I am the embodiment of every lost boy-

Just walking in your footsteps,

In your shadow-

But glad to be there.


8. I notice you are sensitive about your weight

But I don’t know why.

I always hated how small I was-

How thin.

How frail.

How weak.

But you were big,

And strong-

And I envied that about you. 

You were someone to look up to.


9. You tell me you are fine.

You tell me you are always fine.

I believe you back then.


10. Past troubles seem forgotten.

You are young and free

And once again,

Always with me. 


11. Best friends.

This is more than a label to me-

It is sacred. 

I won’t let anyone else call me this.

If they do I will correct them without tact or hesitation.


12. We are never without each other.

Dumb pictures,

Silly pictures, 

Made up games.

Sitting on the curb near your house,

Chugging Sprite at midnight.

We have three different necklaces.

Each one comes in a pair and says,

“Best friends”.


13. I start school.

I no longer learn with you,

But it’s okay,

I say,

We will still be together.

Still best friends.


14. We’ve drifted apart.

I don’t really see you anymore.

Don’t really have time.

I convince myself 

That my absence is temporary.

I convince myself 

That I will be there when it matters.

As if there could be a time where it did not matter.


15. I no longer doodle on your arm in sharpie.

Unbeknowest to me

As the ink fades

And I’m not there to replace it

You take it upon yourself to retrace it.

Only you do not use a pen.

As the drawings fades

You filled the spaces

With red.

And the slits spelled out 
“Best Friends”.

Very good you come across very very good.

[I'm Not The Only One]

Thoughts on killing off your characters?

I usually end up killing close relations to main character, but never the main character! I'm not sure why I do this, but I guess it just makes sense to the plot, as I would never, ever kill a character off unless absolutely necessary. However, it depends how long the story is, if it's short I feel alright about it if it's important, but if it's a long novel, I feel terrible about killing these characters I created and just spent the last six + months going on an adventure with! But sometimes you just have to.

When it comes to the first line of your/any story, what's your thoughts on them? Do you think the first line matters? Doesn't matter?

First line's I think are meant to be filled with suspense. It's gripping, and makes you want to read more. After the first line, I usually delve into the "setting the scene" line, describing the surroundings and whatnot. Then I leap straight back into the suspenseful part and BANG she's off c: But sometimes I decide to do my own thing and mix it up a little! All my stories would look the same if I didn't take risks c;