{ ＩＮＫＬＩＮＧＳ } A Thread For Writers

[honeydont]

I just recently added a bit to my story and was hoping to get some feedback. c: I really want to know if the voice sounds innocent, childlike enough, because I feel like I'm getting to verbose at times. :s

[Silverhart]

hey guys I need some critique on this story this will be the prologue or part of the blurb

Dear Mum, Dad, Sarah and Lauren

I am writing to you to say good-bye. If you look for me you will not find me, or my body. Do not mourn my death, instead embrace it. I will miss you, all of you. These are my final wishes.

Have a good life
Everyone follow your dreams.
Lauren L.A's calling and so's that stage
Please don't give up on your dreams!
Mum don't let dad bother you
Every day think of something else to do with you lives

Just to make things different. If you want to find out more read over this again, then talk to Elsie she will know just say " Elsie read this" give her the note.

Signed
Annabel xoxo

Those were my last words to my family and friends, I could only hope they figured it out. I committed suicide I jumped off a stone ledge into an underground river. When I jumped, I was supposed to die...

Only I didn't...

Oooh! I see what you did there! Very clever... Although I had to read it over again to see it. XP Yes, I think it's a good little piece. Full of mystery, and a great way to start a story. Although, some the sentences aren't complete, such as "I committed suicide I jumped off a stone ledge into an underground river." There should be a period between 'suicide' and 'I' or else the sentence should be rewritten into one.

@ Black Feather It seems like a good start to a character. Some other things to think about when developing her are how she interacts with others, how she deals with conflict, how she sees herself, and her motivation throughout the story. Also you include mostly flaws in her description - cold, discourteous, discontented - all of them seem pretty negative. You should also give her some main positive traits, to make her more well rounded.

[MacGyver]

I need help on writing my script. Any ideas?
It's a zombie film, or series of episodes, and I'm just needing help. I know what a stage script is like, but what about a set script?

Here are some original scripts from a 70s tv series, to give you an idea of how they're written. The files are pdf.
http://www.peteduelsite.com/gallery/thu ... ?album=193
This series' episodes lasted about 48 min each.

It's blocked on my computer. :l
Also, I am very much lacking a decent plot.

That's odd. Kaspersky sees it as safe on mine.
Try this one. It's from a forum and there are typos where it didn't recognize specific characters in the font. But it's something. The ones from the Pete Duel site would've been ideal though, because they're scanned versions of the ORIGINAL scripts.
http://wildwildwest.org/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=3234
I'm afraid I can't help much with a plot. Zombies aren't really my thing.

[Make_a__Scene]

I just recently added a bit to my story and was hoping to get some feedback. c: I really want to know if the voice sounds innocent, childlike enough, because I feel like I'm getting to verbose at times. :s

How old is the little girl supposed to be?

[Nocturnal Creatures]

viewtopic.php?f=57&t=1703170

Would anyone be able to give me advice and critique on my story so far? If you have any can you please post it on the forum.

I really want to know what you think so far. How you feel about how I portray the characters (even though some are canon I probably write them slightly different but I want to know your opinion), what you think of the story so far (do you think it is to fast? What do you think should happen next?) and anything else that could help me improve it.


I will probably add another chapter later tonight if I get the chance and their will definetly be at least 2 added tomorrow as I am home all day!

[Small Child]

Thank you ASJ::H.Heyes and Silverhart! ^-^

[honeydont]

I just recently added a bit to my story and was hoping to get some feedback. c: I really want to know if the voice sounds innocent, childlike enough, because I feel like I'm getting to verbose at times. :s

How old is the little girl supposed to be?

About ten or eleven.

[jormungandr]

{{ would anyone be willing to critique my story?

clicky

Send the critique through PM please, I would rather not have posts all through the topic :3

[Schuyler]

Username: ShadoWolf0913

What we will call you: ShadoWolf or Shado

Will you critique other's work?: Absolutely!

Links to your story if you have any: None yet

Anything you want us to know?: Well, I love to read and write (obviously)! I recently wrote my first serious short story, but it has violence/blood in it, so I don't think it would be a good idea to post here. Most of the other stuff I've written is for school, not very good, and on paper rather than in the computer, so it is not really worth sharing...But I aspire to be a successful writer someday and hopefully I will have something I can post here soon! In the meantime, I would love to help anybody with their writing and critique it if they want. Thanks for making this group, it's really nice!

[Thing One]

Previous Username: ℓσνє.уσυ
New Username: mickey mouse;
What you'd like to be called now: I think mickey's fine. (: