ᴡɪɴᴛᴇʀ ᴡɪɴᴅs ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀʀᴅᴇɴᴇᴅ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛs.

[prodigy.]

I don't think you realize how hard it is to criticize your work.

LOL!!
amazing new chapter, chess. i have no critique to give.

[moon.]

Ahhhh! I've been forgetting to stalk. This new chapter is so amazing <3 I feel like you did perfectly with building up emotions. Really great, once again. And I agree, it is near impossible to critique your work.

[111misc]

Gah! You three are useless! XD Thank you for the compliments, though. (teehee)
Moonz, I love your new signature! The picture fits perfectly with the text; but I still miss The Fox and the Hound a bit. <3

[moon.]

I miss him, too </3 After this siggy gets boring, I have a new one, and it involves more Fox and the Hound <3

[111misc]

Nothing has lasted forever. Yet.

After Wolfpaw and her finished their mouse, the tom being a good sport, since it was small compared to what he normally caught and ate, they both stood in unison to stretch. Rain was coming in, they could feel it, and the older warriors were already complaining about a stiffness to their bones. With a glint in her gaze Cherrypaw flicked her tail at Wolfpaw and quietly dipped her head closer to his, "I don't think Greenclan will be without elders for long, hm?" She mrowed, extending her white claws into the dirt, belly full and content.
Wolfpaw grinned at her, but neither had a moment to say anything else before his mentor appeared before them. The silver tabby tom was talking with Minnowfur, who was nodding at something the deputy said.
"Alright, you two, the rain's coming in, probably before nightfall. I think it'd be a good idea to get some training in before we got soaked, and I bet Sunpaw's itching to do something, with Brightthorn still stuck in Darknose's den." He nodded, mostly just talking to himself, for as he explained he made no sign for them to say anything. Cherrypaw and Wolfpaw both just nodded, mirroring his movements dutifully, though Cherrypaw had a rotten feeling in her stomach at what was about to come next. "So," he beckoned with his striped tail towards the lounging body of Sunpaw, his dark ginger fur like a puddle of blood on the dirt floor of camp, "there's no time to lose. Follow me," he mewed, sharp and brusque, as always. Minnowfur fell in step with the deputy, but he smiled lightly to Cherrypaw before turning back to him. Behind them the calico and her grey friend ambled, and picking up the rear Sunpaw shuffled along. Cherrypaw kept glancing quickly over her shoulders at the ginger tomcat, and one of her ears was trained backwards intensely. She didn't like him being so close to her, especially where she couldn't see him. If there was a single trustworthy hair on that tom's body, Cherrypaw had yet to see it. But Wolfpaw had nothing against him, and before long the two toms were talking amiably about prey or something equally as dull to Cherrypaw. Instead, she pricked her ears on Stormyfang's and Minnowfur's quiet conversation.
"How's Brighthorn holding up?"
"Not too great. I brought her a fish this morning, but when I came back to check up on her this afternoon, she'd eaten hardly any of it. I didn't talk to Darknose about it, though; she seems worried enough with everything on her mind."
"Yea, I bet. Minnowfur, between us, do you think she knows what she's doing? Back in Riverclan even the worst broken bones healed in a moon or two."
"I honestly don't know...I remember once when we were apprentices together Swiftstream made me eat chewed up thorn bush leaves, for that cut over my eye you gave me. Remember that?" The tone was nostalgic, and he wore a smile as he said it.
"Yea, well, you deserved it, you know. I was so angry with you, for moons, over that. I don't even remember her name, now, though...what was it?"
"Silvertide." The mew came a bit quickly, "...I think, at least. I know she was Silverpaw, then."
"Oh yea, that's right, Silverpaw. It's a shame what happened to her...what happened to everyone, back then." His voice had changed from personable to somber in a moment.
"Mmm. They were all good cats. It was a sad business."
"Yea. And between you and me, Minnowfur, I was never too eager about what happened, afterwards. It's still a bit strange, being led by a Thunderclan leader, and asking a Shadowclan medicine cat for help. I've gotten used to it, but still. It rubs me the wrong way, sometimes."
"I know what you mean." A shrug, "I mean, I like everyone in Greenclan, now, of course....it was just difficult, at first. After all, the Warrior Code did say--"
"Exactly. I felt like we were breaking the Code, somehow, by doing this. It's just that----"
That was when their voices dropped even more to a whisper she couldn't pick up. Cherrypaw sighed, falling back a bit, thinking about what the two warriors had said. She had quite forgotten the two had grown up together, were apprentices together and probably received their warrior names at the same ceremony. She had never noticed how close her mentor was with the deputy, but by the easy, confidential way they talked to each other, any cat that overheard them could have told they were friends from a long time ago. From another life.
On the walk to the training meadow there was much to think about. For the first time in her life, Cherrypaw wondered if they really were Greenclan...if anything had changed. Was she the only one who didn't care, anymore, about their past alligiances? Was she, yet again, she wondered bitterly, the only one different because she was, almost as much as Dovekit and Ravenkit, was born to this clan? Everyone else had an identity, an idea of who they were. What did she have? Nothing. The glum thoughts like fog permeated her heart, weighing it down, cold, damp, and blinding. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
This was not the first time thoughts like these appeared, where she imagined that under her fur and bones there resided an emptiness, a hollowness, like rotting fresh kill. Maggots had eaten out her heart and soul long ago, and if she were opened up then and there, writhing parasites would be all that was left of her. Because she felt her heart beat, but did not understand it. She understood nothing like her clanmates. They saw things through eyes that had seen many things. Compared instances to other times and places. They understood consiquences and actions. They knew things. What did Cherrypaw know? She knew how to live her life, day by day, and not to think too hard, like her mentor and the deputy were just doing. She didn't question things like they did. Why should she wonder if the late Riverclan medicine cat was better then Darknose? Why should she care that Foxstar used to be a part of Thunderclan? Why did it matter, anyway? What good did it do to question things in the past? This conversation she'd just overheard, the words that those two toms had been whispering, were not only strange and new to her, but eyeopening. A prickle ran up her spine, and she turned her head minutely to look back at Wolfpaw and Sunpaw, walking side by side silently, now. What did they think? Were they as divided as the older cats must be? In the pits of her heart, the calico felt unabashedly curious.
Curious, because, like all the other times, she felt she would give her heart and soul; her very spirit, to just have a glimpse at what they had. To just see, for a moment, from their eyes. She wanted their prejudices and their alliances. She wanted their pain, if they had it, and she wanted their happiness. Cherrypaw knew she was empty, and that made her feel all the more hollow inside. All the more broken. She wanted, more then she wanted air to breathe, more then she wanted salvation in Starclan, to have, just for a moment, a real, true, memory.
"Alright, you three, line up." The silver deputy waved his tail for them to catch up, for all three had fallen behind; a tense silence hanging around them as Sunpaw and Cherrypaw dutifully ignored one another, and Wolfpaw tried to make awkward conversation. Grateful for finally reaching their training spot, so far from camp that rain looked eminent any moment, Cherrypaw bounded forward, in front of the two other apprentices. She pushed, using a great reservoir of will, her thoughts away, and focused her blue eyes intently upon Minnowfur, and slowly let them slide to Stormyfang. She had to clear her head, and make a good impression. He was the deputy, after all, and though the she-cat was no fool, and understood what her weaknesses were, she hoped and prayed for some miracle from Starclan to make her look as if she wasn't a fumbling kitten.
"Minnowfur and I are going to pair two of you up, and have you fight. We'll watch, and the winner will face the third cat. The loser of the second match will face off the loser of the first match," Stormyfang was not one to mince words, or sugarcoat his messages, "The overall winner will not have to clean the nursery den for this next half moon, and the overall loser will take up their responsibility." All three apprentices perked up, their ears pricked, and they exchanged competitive and nervous glances. Cherrypaw thought she saw her deputy shoot a glancing look at Wolfpaw, but it was quick, and with the sun behind him, it was hard to tell. Butterflies in her stomach erupted, because she knew she was the natural weakling amongst the apprentices. The two toms were bigger and stronger then her, and both had more experience. For the thousandth time in her life she cursed Minnowfur for the way he taught her nothing for so much of her apprenticeship. What good did stances and poses do her when her opponents had snagged their claws on fur, and ripped flesh with their teeth?
"Cherrypaw, ladies first." Minnowfur flicked his ear at her, his dark green eyes cast intently at her, "Who do you want to face?"
The pelt of the she-cat rippled slightly as her muscles moved irritably. She hadn't wanted to go first. Either way, she knew who she wanted to fight. Wolfpaw and her play fought together often, so she knew his moves better, but he was ten times the fighter she was; she would not pretend otherwise. Stepping back, as she always did, from the situation, Cherrypaw took a colder view of it. True, she knew his moves, so that could serve her well, if she could avoid them. And she was faster then him. And taller. If luck was with her she could just fall on him and get in a few scratches before he threw her off. But that was all based on luck, not skill. Sunpaw she knew less about, but he was lankier then Wolfpaw, and he was younger, too, with less experience. It was still a risky affair, no matter who she chose to fight, but the ginger tom, to her, seemed the safest bet. And besides, if she had to chose which of the two she would rather battle, there would be no question as to her choice.
"I'll take Sunpaw, I think," she said in a light voice, feminine and goading in a gentle, almost smug way. She saw, as she looked at him, Sunpaw's grey eyes flash and his tail tip twitch in irritation. Good. Let him be irritated. Cherrypaw blinked again, readying herself mentally for what she was about to take on. As she did, sun spots again filled her eyes. A beautiful face, for a moment, glinted in her vision, golden and dappled, and then it was gone. Though she could have been confused, the vision gave Cherrypaw a warm feeling in her chest, like Starclan, or luck, or her dead family, or someone, was watching out for her. The last time that face had appeared she had been at her best in battle. Maybe some long dead warrior really was looking out for her? A cockle in her heart softened, and then confidence flowed in. At least someone believed in her, she knew that much.
The two young cats stepped into the center of the small clearing. It really only had room for two good fights to go on within it, but with just one they would have plenty of room to leap and run at each other. The two warriors sat by the hawthorne bush at the edge, their greyish pelts blending in the dappled sun and shade to make them look like brothers, their green eyes matching in intensity and sophistication. Sunpaw stalked to the other side of the clearing, and she turned to face him. The fur on Cherrypaw's back was already standing up, from the pressure of it, but, with a sigh, she forced it down, thinking of the face in her mind. She couldn't let the pressure get to her. She refused to look like an idiot in front of Stormyfang, and she refused to lose to Sunpaw, the mangy liar he was.
"Whenever you're ready," the mew echoed in the space, and the last word had yet to fall fully from Minnowfur's lips when Sunpaw lunged at her. It was a streak of dark ginger fur, and Cherrypaw thought she saw the sharp angles of fangs. Blinded by the animosity of his attack, as he lunged at her, she shifted her weight onto her back paws, lifting her front off the ground, ready to smash herself down onto him. He bowled into her legs, she lost her balance, but not so completely as to fall. Staggering for a moment, they both took a second to recover, but she was faster. Cherrypaw slammed herself down onto Sunpaw's back, letting sheathed paws rake his long fur and flesh. He writhed under her, trying to throw her off, but she was used to fighting Wolfpaw, and the red cat was not nearly as powerful. Cherrypaw guessed she had about two more seconds before being shaken. She took those moments to bite hard down on his leg, making him yowl, and though she couldn't hear the words, she heard a sharp call from Stormyfang. Cherrypaw made a note not to really hurt him, and though she had no respect for the apprentice, if she had, she would have lost it for his babyish cry and whimpers. A real warrior takes the pain silently, and bears it. But she had no more time, and he threw her off, powerful shoulders rippling. A drop of blood fell on the dirt, but Cherrypaw couldn't tell from where it had come from, because his pelt was already so rich and dark. A hiss escaped her, more wild then calculated, and it was her turn to lunge. He was ready for her, and they were caught in a spinning, whirling, flurry of their two bodies entangled. Paws flew and Cherrypaw felt rattled as one hit the side of her face hard enough to make her blink and lurch. He bowled her over, onto her back, and raked a paw over her stomach. Though it didn't hurt, Cherrypaw knew that, if his claws had been unsheathed, it would have. She looked, for a moment, as she tried to use her back legs to kick the tom off, into his eyes. Grey and furious and clear as fresh water. They were handsome and strange, but they were just ugly to her. And they made a growl deep in her throat rumble out. She narrowed her own azure eyes, the pupils slits, and forced him off with a powerful kick of her back legs. He landed on his side, out of breath, the wind knocked from him. Cherrypaw didn't waste time, in a frenzy of anger at the cat. This was the first time in her life where she'd been aloud to fight this tom. The first time where she could really beat him at something, and she would get only praise for it. Cherrypaw refused to let this opportunity pass. So she twisted swiftly to her paws, and cut towards him, lunging at his body, gasping for air on the ground. She ripped, with sheathed paws, at his flank, just letting her imagination roam. She could almost feel the warm, salty blood under her claws, and in her mind, it felt beautiful. He was batting at her with his paws, but she didn't feel it. She didn't see anything, anymore, either. All her stratagy which she had prided herself on went to the wind and pure bliss filled it's place. She wasn't strong, and she wasn't extremely fast, but she felt so exhilerated in those moments, of fighting the ginger tom, that she could have fought him forever. For years and years and never have grown tired. It was a long fight, and by the end of it, Sunpaw was weezing, breathing hard and fast, his sides heaving. But she was pure and graceful and to the end of it her gaze was laughing. When an emotion as pure as anger fills your heart, there is nothing you can't do. Even win a hopeless battle. That is the power of passion. It enflames your heart and pumps golden blood through your veins. It finds a way to change the world around you, so it's hued with red. It gives weak muscles strength and slow feet speed. It can mean the difference between life and death, even. Passion is majesty. Passion is wonder. Passion is beauty.
But beauty comes at it's price, and when the golden light of something desperately wanted leaves your heart, you find it dreadfully more empty than you ever thought it was before.
Minnowfur laughed, a hearty, surprised peal, as Cherrypaw staggered away from Sunpaw, who was struggling to stand up, breathing heavily and hatred burning in every crevice on his face. "Well, look at you!" His mew came, nodding in approval, "Good job, Cherrypaw, take a moment to catch your breath. Sunpaw, you too. That was a good long fight, both of you, I'm proud of you guys." He nodded again, and Stormyfang kept his usual grim expression on, quiet. Minnowfur padded down to Sunpaw, who was breathing loud, head low and tail on the ground. He began pointing out things to the tom, about stances and better postures to use. For a moment Cherrypaw blinked in surprise, cocking her head a bit. So now he was so full of wisdom? Why had she never heard him say something like this, before? But her curiosity and irritation died as his voice became a drone in the back of her head. Her passion was fading. Now the smugness of victory replaced it, and she felt, for a moment, satisfied. She beat him. Cherrypaw didn't quite understand it, but she was proud of herself, and she was happy...even if the hardest part was yet to begin. "You're not out of the woods yet, Cherrypaw," she murmured to herself, blue gaze slipping towards Wolfpaw, his unsheathed claws curved and glinting.

[Kat.]

amazing <3 I love reading your stories!

anywho, when Wolfpaw and Cherrypaw are talking about the medicine making Wolfpaw eat thorn bush leaves, you list two names, Silverstream and Silvertide. I am not sure if that was meant to be there, but I think what happened is after you wrote her name being Silverstream, then forgot you had written that and wrote it as Silvertide. if this isn't any helpful info, just ignore me x3x

still, I bet no one has as much talent as you do. this is... is.. splendiferous! c:

[111misc]

Ah, I think you might be reading too quickly for your own good. That's Stormyfang and Minnowfur talking, and I wrote Swiftstream, not Silverstream---that's the medicine cat from Riverclan a long time ago. He mentions Silvertide in a different instance. ^^

[Kat.]

oh, right. good thing I told you to ignore me, eh? I had just skimread the dialogue, like I always do before reading the whole thing [I am kinda a dialover], and just missed it /shot.
pssh... now... um... *slithers to shadows in embarassment*

NEVERMIND!

amazing story!

[111misc]

XD Thanks, Kat. No worries, and I do appreciate the thought of trying to help me out! ^^ Don't be ashamed, keep posting comments! Please!

[Kat.]

whew, good. thanks!
your stories are so inspiring, it's wonderful... xD if that makes any sense. you NEED to join the Erins.
dang, if only we had their number...