𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐍.
population: 91 cats [ 44 fem : 45 male : 2 nb ]
servings required: 15 [97] - pebbles: 177
population: 91 cats [ 44 fem : 45 male : 2 nb ]
servings required: 15 [97] - pebbles: 177
𝙜𝙪𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙞𝙖𝙣𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙩
moderator: deimos - next moonstone: any time
moons since last nonsense: 2 (gl)
moons since last nonsense: 2 (gl)
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- 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐠𝐨.
Argentripple stretched out in the sunlight, letting the warmth of the rocks seep into his pelt. Movement had become easier after his injury in the last moon, but Poppywish was ever-diligent about those injured cats getting enough rest, and the newly-named Sprucefur was exercising his new power to make sure that Poppywish got the rest he needed. Argentripple couldn’t complain; as cozy as the medicine den was, it had an overwhelming smell of herbs and he liked the sunlight, and the chance to get some air without being crowded by other cats.
“I’m not intruding on any serious thinking, am I?” He cracked open an eye with a lopsided smile at Ausmasthorn, where she stood over him, careful not to block his sun.
“Never.”
“Well, that’s dangerous. You should at least be thinking some of the time.” They shared a laugh as Ausmasthorn settled down next to him, rolling her eyes as Argentripple swept his bushy tail around her as a substitute for her own not being able to do so.
“Funny.”
“I know. How are you?”
“About the same as the last time you asked me,” Argentripple leaned out of the way off a half-hearted swat as Ausmasthorn laughed, “there’s not a lot to do besides be quite bored and listen to Poppywish and Sprucefur argue about how much Poppywish works. And before you ask, Sprucefur is doing just fine. He has a rotating party of friends getting under Poppywish’s paws to make sure he’s okay, and even though the old grump grumbles about it, I heard him tell Howlingeye he’s glad the clan is looking out for him. It’s not an easy time for anyone… but we’re all here to support each other. That’s important.”
“It’s still surreal to think that they’re gone,” Ausmasthorn said softly, “it still feels like any minute I’ll see Minkfur and Thunderjaw come wandering back from a border patrol together, or hear Lunardawn laughing at something Foxspring said… Emberpetal said he’s not doing so well, you know.”
“His family will be there for him, and Emberpetal is lucky to have a friend like you.”
“You’re such a flatterer.”
“And you have so much care in your heart, Ausmasthorn, that I worry sometimes it might consume you. Are you okay?”
“I think so,” she cast a glance across the campground, watching Addersong and Graypeak wander a circle together, “it still… well, it still hurts. These cats gave me a home when I wasn’t sure I’d ever find the right one, and Lunardawn was my friend. Minkfur was a mentor, a guide, something to aspire to. I’ll always remember them, and treasure them… but the clan feels a little emptier without them in it.”
“And one day you’ll be an elder, and you’ll regale the young kits with tales of the brave Minkfur and the brilliant Lunardawn, and their names will live on, and they will not be forgotten. That’s the gift they give to you now, is they place their memories in the paws of every cat in this clan, and trust in them to carry them on so they live forever in the hearts of the clan they gave themselves to. That’s the gift that Bearears has as a storyteller. She remembers, and she carries that.”
“Do you think she’s okay?” Argentripple laughed.
“Yes, I think she’s okay. Because this clan loves her, because she loves this clan, and because each of us feel it in our own way and we stand together to make it through. We’re all going to be fine.”
“Wise words from a cat who doesn’t think.”
“I surprise even myself sometimes,” he paused, smiling up at the calico bobtail, “thank you for checking on me, Ausmasthorn. I’m lucky to have someone who cares as much as you do.”
“You’d do the same for me… and I don’t mind. I like the company.” Smiling, Argentripple half sat-up as Ausmasthorn leaned down, pressing their foreheads together in a silent confession.
-
The medicine den was quiet. Most of the cats on rest had moved out to the clan basin to take advantage of the Greenleaf sun, and Sprucefur had banished Poppywish for the day. His mentor worked tirelessly, and with things beginning to wind down in the wake of the fox attack, Sprucefur thought the old tom could probably stand to rest a little. After all, Sprucefur had been given his full name, which meant StarClan thought him perfectly capable of looking after the clan, thus Poppywish’s fussing was unnecessary.
He half wished that Silvercreek hadn’t been busy- things were always easier with his best friend around. She knew him better than anyone, and she’d been through similar things. Losing a parent. A sibling. Friends. She was no stranger to love and loss, and Sprucefur thought perhaps her guidance would be more welcome for a way to direct his grief, but asking her to eschew her warrior duties in order to be his shoulder to cry on was out of the question.
“It smells funny in here,” a voice said, and Sprucefur chuckled.
“Does Dad know you’re in here?” Pinekit’s silence was all Sprucefur needed by way of an answer. He turned away from the herbs he was sorting in order to face his younger brother. Pinekit was only a moon out from apprenticeship and already growing rapidly. He was tall, like all of his family was, but not quite as broad as Sprucefur and Willowpaw had been at his age. Sprucefur assumed he would grow into it. “What’s up?”
“You didn’t come down to play,” Pinekit wrinkled his little nose, fluffing up his fur as he stepped in closer, trying to peer past Sprucefur at what he had been doing, “Dad said you were probably busy but it’s not as fun to play without you. Beechpaw doesn’t say it but she feels better when you’re there, I can tell. It doesn’t feel the same without Cypresskit and Shrikekit and everyone can feel it. I know our parents are just doing their best to make things seem normal but it’s not very normal for them to be gone.”
“No,” Sprucefur agreed with a grim nod, “it’s not.” Pinekit lapsed into silence, his bright green eyes watching his older brother’s face with a curious tilt to his head.
“Sprucefur?”
“Yes?”
“Are you quite bad at being a warrior?” Sprucefur choked out a laugh.
“Well, I’m not a warrior but I don’t think I’d make a terrible one… why do you ask?”
“You spent all this time as Sprucepaw and you only just got your name, and you’re a medicine cat instead of a warrior like Silvercreek, and some of the apprentices like Crowpaw and Duskpaw are saying that their training is almost over after about six moons but you trained for way longer than that so I thought maybe they sent you to be a medicine cat because you were bad at it.”
“Not at all,” Sprucefur chuckled, “Frostclaw was a good mentor to me, and I liked warrior training… but I was more interested in what I could do as a medicine cat. I pretty much just annoyed Poppywish into taking me on as an apprentice, toward the end of my training. I had to train so long as a medicine cat because there’s so much to learn. There’s a lot of things that can harm cats, Pinekit, and I have to know how to fix them all, or how to at least begin to devise a plan to fix something I’ve never encountered before. It’s hard work, but I like it.” He paused, tilting his head at Pinekit. “Why? Do you want to be a medicine cat?”
“No,” Pinekit shook his head, “at least I don’t think so? I guess I’m just afraid. Dad says we’ll be made apprentices soon, and everyone said all those things about Mom… I think I’m just worried that I won’t be good enough at it. That I’ll disappoint them.”
“You could never disappoint them,” Sprucefur said gently, “you’re their son and they’ll always be proud of you. No one expects you to be just like either of them, you know. They only expect you to be you, the same way they expect me to be me. The clan can honour our parents and still celebrate all the ways that you are different to them and how wonderful and special that is. And it’s not like you’ll be doing your training alone- Beechkit will be right by your side, and Stagkit, Dipperkit and Raccoonkit aren’t far off their own apprentice ceremonies. You have cats who are going to love and support you through all of it, you know, and if you ever need to talk… I’ll be here.”
“That’s not comforting,” Pinekit mumbled, “Poppywish scares me.” Sprucefur laughed.
“I’ll come out of the den to talk to you, then, so scary Poppywish won’t chase you off. Now come on, we can worry about apprenticeships next moon, and these herbs will be here in a sun-movement or two. Let’s go play.” Pinekit perked up, tail raising high in glee, his earlier woes forgotten as he bounded out of the den in front of the hulking shape of his brother, leading him down the path to where Thunderjaw and Beechkit wrestled playfully in the basin.
“Dad! I got Sprucefur!” Pinekit yelled, scampering across to pounce on his father as the big tom let out a winded huff.
“You’re going to re-injure yourself, old tom,” Sprucefur chuckled, and Thunderjaw gave his son an amused look.
“Someone’s gotten bossy,” he said, rolling over and depositing his younger kits on the ground despite their yowls of protest, “kits? I think your older brother needs to be taught a lesson.”
“Get him!” Pinekit yowled, and Sprucefur went down in a tangle of fur, laughing loudly as his siblings chewed on his ears and tried ineffectually to pin him. Thunderjaw laughed, head tipped back and chest heaving. The sound washed over Sprucefur like the lull of warm water on a cold day, and he let out an exhale he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. Hearing his father laugh like that again for the first time since his mate’s death, some of the heaviness in Sprucefur’s heart lifted. The world would turn, and the sun would shine another day. Things would get better. Maybe slowly, inch by inch, but for the first time since he had felt the warmth of life drain from his mother, he truly believed in a better tomorrow.
-
“Kicked out, huh?” Poppywish looked up as Howlingeye made his way out of the tunnel, carrying a vole along to where Poppywish sat on a ledge above the entrance, watching the sunset as the sun dipped below the mountains, bathing the stone in reds and pinks, clouds turned to bright orange. Poppywish had always liked the sky like this, when the sun was at its most brilliant, and the warmth from the day still seeped into his paws through the rock underfoot. He felt warmer for having the love of his life at his side, as Howlingeye settled in, placing the vole at his paws. “I was looking for you, Sprucefur said you were out here. Have you been here all day?”
“No, not all day. I went for quite a refreshing walk around the territory without having to worry about looking for herbs, I even stopped to watch fish too small to eat swimming about in the stream. Smelled some flowers. Watched the apprentices train for a bit. And now I’m watching the sunset and realizing how little I actually get to do that, much less with the tom I call my mate.”
“You work hard, and for a very good reason. Although, for my own personal biases I think you could stand to work less, especially when you have a very capable medicine cat helping you out. Sprucefur isn’t an apprentice anymore, you know, you can trust him to handle things.” Poppywish huffed, rolling his eyes in amusement.
“I know… but he’ll always, to some degree, be my apprentice. My annoying, mouthy, stubborn, brilliant apprentice who basically bullied his way into his job… but my apprentice nonetheless. It’s not like he needs any more paternal figures in his life, but I’ll always consider him something of a son I never had. How could I not, when we spend that much time together? It’s been wonderful seeing him grow up but… honestly, I’m not even sure what retirement looks like for me. Or if I ever want to retire. Or if I even know how.”
“I really don’t think you do,” Howlingeye laughed as Poppywish shoved him, “and I wouldn’t ask you to. I know how much you love your job, even when it’s hard. The cats here are lucky to have you, Poppywish. You have so much love in your heart, enough for me and every other cat in this clan including yourself. You’re diligent and passionate and you’ve made hard decisions and saved a lot more cats than any other medicine cat would have been able to, all while training a cat the size of a boulder to do something that you do so precisely with your little paws. There’s nothing wrong with that, you can… just take breaks sometimes. A day a week, you and me. We go for a walk… just hang out somewhere… whatever. Just no medicine-catting for the day.”
“Even if there’s a pandemic?”
“If there’s a pandemic, Sprucefur can handle it, because he’s managed to figure out this concept called ‘sleep’, which is something that eludes you, my dear.”
“Bossy, bossy.”
“Crow calls the raven black,” Howlingeye said sweetly, making Poppywish laugh and tuck his head under his mate’s chin.
“Alright, I relent. I can’t pretend that doesn’t sound good, but curse you for knowing me well enough to make it sound enticing.”
“You’re the one who chased after me, can’t turn it around on me now.”
“I suppose I did do that, didn’t I?”
“Yes. And I’ll never be more thankful for anything in my life. I love you. It still astounds me that out of anyone you could have had, I was the one you wanted, especially when you were everything I needed and I was too much of a hard-headed moron to even see it.”
“I love you too. You might be a hard-headed moron, but you’re my hard-headed moron.”
“Anyone ever tell you you have a way with words, love?”
“No. But call me that again.”
“Alright, love.” Howlingeye said, nuzzling his nose into the top of Poppywish’s fur, closing his eyes against the blaze of the sun, bathing them both in the last of its glow, content together on the mountainside they called home.
𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧.
In the warmth of the Greenleaf sun, some life seemed to be breathed back into the clan. Sleetstar watched her clan gather from where she stood just outside her den, Burningflame pressing her nose to her cheek placatingly. Midnightblaze and Brackenstrike brushed out of the den behind her, the standing deputy nudging her old friend’s shoulder with a light chuckle. Sleetstar took a deep breath, turning a worried expression to a bemused Midnightblaze.
“You’re sure about this?”
“You overthink things too much. You’re best friends, Sleetstar, you know what to say, and he’s going to appreciate it. You made a good call.”
“Thunderjaw knows you’re looking out for him,” Brackenstrike said gently, “stop stressing.”
“And you’ll-”
“Yes, I’ll take care of him on patrol today. He’s a tough cat, you know.”
“Without Minkfur…” Sleetstar’s face fell, and Burningflame nudged her forehead against her mate’s cheek, consolingly.
“We all miss her,” she said softly, “but Thunderjaw is brave, and he loves his kits more than anything. He has the support of this whole clan, and he has a reason to push on even when times were tough. You were my reason. This clan was Brackenstrike’s, when she needed that hope the most. Now, you get to give back that which this clan gave to you: purpose. Love. Hope. You’ve built strong roots. The branches will remain just as strong.”
“What she said. She’s just more flowery than me.”
“Always have been.” Brackenstrike laughed, trailing after the chocolate molly as she took a few mockingly-prancing steps forward. Midnightblaze, chuckling to himself, hurried after her, to where Summitsky was waiting near the base of the cliff for his mate. Sleetstar shook her head in amusement, taking a few steps forward and pressing one last nose-touch to her mate’s maw, before they descended into the crowd of cats. A hush descended over them as Sleetstar took her place, clearing her throat.
“I always say that apprentice ceremonies bring me great joy, to know that we can look forward to a bright future. And this is no less true today, but call me slow or a little oblivious… but seeing you all gathered this morning made me realize that this must be true for you too. Every time I stand on this rock, I feel privileged to be allowed to stand here, because I remember the first few times, and after I’ve finished feeling on fire with embarrassment, I remember how much that means I’ve changed, how much this clan has changed, and grown. These ceremonies are a celebration of the future… but they’re also a celebration of before. A celebration of the roots of our tree, strong and steady, that have grown wonderful branches.” In the crowd, she smiled at Burningflame, who rolled her eyes as Brackenstrike nudged her.
“I’m lucky to be able to look back in my past and pinpoint the moment some sense got knocked into me, or I’d be standing up here while the rest of you thought ‘oh joy, another shoe-in job for Thunderjaw and Summitsky’.” A ripple of laughter cut through the clan. “But you can rest assured that as fantastic as they are, as joyous as the apprentices who have them as mentors have become… they’re getting old now, and they get to relax.”
“No older than you, darling!” Came Howlingeye’s shout from somewhere in the back, prompting more laughter.
“That might be true. Today, Thunderjaw’s kits have reached six moons of age. All of you know Thunderjaw- he is one of the original members of this clan; strong, and diligent, steady and kind, and wise on occasions, except for when he slips in a snowdrift. In many ways, he is a lot like his mate was… and Minkfur would be so proud to be here today, watching her kits take the next step in their journeys, and she would also be beyond gleeful to escape the nursery. I know that she’s in StarClan now, watching, ready to guide her children on the paths to warriorhood. Therefore, from this day on, Pinekit and Beechkit will be known as Pinepaw and Beechpaw respectively, until they are ready to take their warrior names.” Sleetstar paused, and took a deep breath.
“In the spirit of embracing the past when looking toward the future… Pinepaw’s mentor will be Viridianfire. She was this clan’s first apprentice, and she received excellent training from Thunderjaw himself. She has grown to be a fierce she-cat worthy of her suffix; kind, courageous and funny… but don’t tell her I said so, it’ll just inflate her ego.” Viridianfire laughed loudly, even as Koishimmer shouldered her mate with amusement. “I know she will pass on the skills vital to being as excellent a warrior as she is.” Cheers went up for Pinepaw as the excitable black tom bounded across to his new mentor, purring contentedly.
“Beechpaw’s mentor will be Twilightflower. During the early stages of my kit’s lives, when I was busy being the worst possible mother, she was there, because she is diligent, sweet, compassionate and whip-smart. She was a friend to Minkfur, and probably stopped her from mounting several nursery den-breaks, and I know that she will have plenty to teach Beechpaw, and that she will teach her well, so that she can become just as excellent a warrior as Twilightflower is.” Again, cheers went up for the newest apprentice as she crossed to her new mentor, touching noses with the black molly.
Brackenstrike stepped up as Sleetstar descended the stone, touching their noses to each other’s cheeks fondly as they passed. The deputy began to list off patrols as Sleetstar weaved through the crowd toward Thunderjaw, stretching upward to press her forehead into his.
“Thank you,” he said earnestly, “it makes me relieved to know that they’ll be in good paws. And… that ceremony? One of your best ones, but if you ever call me old again I’m going to roll you down the mountainside.” Amidst Sleetstar’s laughter, Thunderjaw purred. “Minkfur would have loved it. She’d have been laughing her tail off the whole time.”
“That’s high praise. She was always funnier than me.”
“Well… maybe a bit.” Snorting, Sleetstar shoved his shoulder, settling in next to him. Thunderjaw leaned his cheek on the top of her head, watching with fond eyes as Pinepaw enthusiastically demonstrated to Viridianfire and Koishimmer all he already knew, while Beechpaw sat up straight in a manner distinctly reminiscent of her mother, speaking matter-of-factly to Hollyfeather while Twilightflower nodded along seriously.
“Dad, can I go talk to Pinepaw?” Stagkit turned his face upward with wide eyes, bright green like his mother’s had been. Foxspring nodded, shooing him and his brothers away as they streaked toward Pinepaw, yowling congratulations for their former denmate. Foxspring’s smile was weary, as he tilted his head to watch Thunderjaw and Sleetstar at his side.
“You must miss her so much. Lunardawn and I weren’t together that long and how much that hurts… I can’t even imagine what you feel.”
“It’s not about how long you were together,” Thunderjaw responded, “when you love someone the way I loved Minkfur and you loved Lunardawn… losing them feels like losing a piece of your soul. Right before she… passed on, Minkfur called me her soulmate, and I don’t think I even believed in them until that moment, but I know she was right. I know there’ll never be anyone else for me. For Brackenstrike… she’s lost loves before, and those pieces of her soul she gave away with them were returned to her when those past loves lead her to Splitface. Who knows what the future holds for you. But I know Minkfur will beckon me home with the piece I gave to her, but not until she makes me suffer Sleetstar’s terrible jokes for a great deal longer.”
“Hey, you’re the one who offered to be my confidant and shoulder to cry on,” Sleetstar huffed, making Foxspring laugh.
“You two took great care of this clan,” he said, “I’m excited for them, these kits. Lunardawn wasn’t sure about being back here, not when she knew her father had to leave all those moons ago… but she loved it here once she got used to it, and she always used to talk about seeing our kits apprenticed, who we thought they would go to. That was something special to her, knowing there were all these great cats who had been through it before, who would nurture our babies, who would make sure they grew up strong, and healthy, and wise, and kind. That’s the best part of a clan, I think. The community you make.”
“I’m glad you think so, Foxspring. We were lucky to have you here- all of you; your dads, Midnightblaze, Lunardawn and her sisters, your siblings, your kits. I know they’ll grow up to be the best of you… your charm, your laugh, your bravery; her wit, her intelligence, her honesty. You’ve made some truly incredible young cats, and it will be a joy to watch them grow up, and Lunardawn will see them too, from Silverpelt, when she looks down and watches over them, and makes sure they grow up happy, and that they grow up loved.”
“And they will be loved, by all of us,” Thunderjaw said, “we’re your family, each and every one of us who said that vow and took our names. That’s what it means, to say it and to mean it.” The sentiment settled over them like a blanket as the three of them watched Beechpaw try to disentangle herself from a gaggle of tabby kits and her brother, growing large already, laughing loudly in the sunshine. Sleetstar’s face softened.
“They’ll be alright. They have each other.”
-
“Okay, spit it out.” Thunderjaw gave Brackenstrike a side-eye as the deputy pretended to be looking elsewhere. “You’re looking at me like I’m about to either break apart at the seams or turn and sprint back to the camp any second to make sure my kits haven’t scuffed a paw, even though Minkfur had to catch Pinepaw that one time he half-launched himself off the trail edge trying to catch a moss-ball and we handled that quite fine.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Give it up, old girl,” Hazerise said from behind them, “you’ve been a bit too obvious about it.”
“Sleetstar’s worried about you.”
“Sleetstar overthinks everything.”
“I know. But I think she’s worried this might be hard for you…” Brackenstrike paused. “I know that back in the day it just used to be Minkfur and you doing these patrols, and that hasn’t exactly been the case recently, but…”
“I’ll admit, it does feel a bit like I’m missing a limb, and I think it always will do because I love her, and it feels odd to be without her when being with her felt so right… but honestly I’m just glad for some normalcy. I’m not a cat that was made to be in the nursery, and neither was she, but doing these patrols… even if she’s not here, at least it feels like my life isn’t completely finished, you know? A reminder that the world turns, the sun will still cross the sky and I will still go on living, and not everything will change.”
“You’re either handling this remarkably well or you’re better at lying than I thought you were.”
“In his defense, there was the whole murder-thing,” Duckbriar said, leaning around Fogbelly as Plumiris smacked her with her tail. “What? Sprucefur talked to us. Because we’re friends, and Thunderjaw knows.”
“I appreciate you defending my honour, Plumiris, but honestly, I’m just happy to hear that Sprucefur talks about things. I’ve always worried with him that he would internalize it… he’s been through so much already, and losing his mother… I’ve been worried that he blames himself, because he’s a medicine cat, but there’s not anything on this earth that would have made Minkfur change her mind about fighting the way she did, and there wasn’t anything he could have done. He… he knows that, right?”
“He knows,” Duckbriar said, “don’t worry, Silvercreek is looking after him. They have each other’s backs.”
“They’re closer than any of us, probably. Cairnstone is also trying to check in when he feels like he’s not intruding but he’s a little more awkward about it, mostly because I think he hasn’t known Sprucefur as long as some of the others have. I also feel a little bit like that, and he helped deliver my kits.” Thunderjaw chuckled.
“I’m glad to hear that. Thank you, Plumiris and Duckbriar. I know I have all the old guard looking out for me, and I know Minkfur is watching over all of us… but I still want to make sure my kits are being looked after. Pinepaw and Beechpaw have their friends and the older apprentices to help them along, but Sprucefur is old enough now to handle his emotions in ways I wouldn’t want him to… so he’s lucky to have friends like all of you.”
“Your son is an incredible cat,” Fogbelly said, as Hazerise nodded her agreement, “he watched out for Hazerise in the early days here, and he made sure our kits grew up healthy so they could blossom as apprentices, and he’s funny like his mother, smart and brave. He has plenty of cats who would go out of their way to make sure he’s happy because he’s done so much for all of us already. You don’t need to worry about him, you should worry about yourself. He’s probably as worried for you as you are for him.” Thunderjaw blinked.
“I… hadn’t thought of it that way.” He paused, mulling the words over. “I suppose he must be… do you think I should talk to him?”
“He’ll know we were gossiping about him.” Duckbriar said.
“He’ll get over it.” Brackenstrike shrugged.
“And that’s how easy parenting is,” Thunderjaw said with a sigh, grinning as the patrol laughed.
-
“Duckbriar?” The young molly’s ears flicked up at her mother’s voice, and she glanced up as the tabby she-cat settled down next to her, wrapping her tail around her body. As the last days of Greenleaf pressed on, some of the heat of the days began to slip away in the night, so Duckbriar pressed close to share warmth with her mother. “I was wondering if you had a moment to discuss something.”
“Are you okay? You’re not sick, are you?”
“No! No, I’m not sick,” Duckbriar relaxed, and Addersong chuckled fondly, “I am glad that you’re worried about me, but… no. I’m alright. I wanted to talk to you about what your father proposed… about going to see your siblings in their new clan.”
“Oh.” Duckbriar frowned, turning her face away, shoulders hunching up. Addersong’s face creased in sympathy.
“I know it’s not your favourite idea in the world, and… it wasn’t mine either,” she said, “but… these past few moons, after the fox? Your father and I have had to spend a lot of time in close quarters, and we’ve been talking. Making up, I suppose you could say, trying to be friends again. I’m not asking you to stop being angry with him… or angry with me, really, I know that we let our own personal drama get in the way of raising you, and I would never ask you to just forget about that. But… I did tell your father that I would talk to you about reconsidering seeing your siblings. Life is so short, my darling, so short and unexpected.”
“I know,” Duckbriar sighed, hunching up her shoulders, “every time I think I’ve forgotten, the world finds a way to remind me… Minkfur… Auroracloud and Erminebubble and Tempestflame… Blizzardheart and Sycamorepath… so many cats I knew that we’ve lost, more that I didn’t ever get the chance to know. And every time I think about Juncopaw and Rookpaw… I get so angry, because I know that they’ve experienced their own share of hardship and everything, but they left, and I had to do it on my own, and I know Juncopaw. I know I’ll go there and she’ll tell me that it’s my fault for staying and not going with them, even though you needed us, and Dad needed us and… Mom, are you sure you want to do this?”
“No. But I can't predict the course of my life and I want to leave it with nothing left unsaid, so I want… I want to tell Loonfrost that I forgive her. That it wasn’t her fault. I want to tell my kits I’m sorry for not being a better mother, and that I understand and I just want them to be happy, even if they want nothing to do with me. I want them to know that even if they don’t want it, if they… reject me, there’ll always be room for them in my life.”
“You shouldn’t have to tell them that. They should know that. Juncopaw is just too hard-headed and stubborn to ever accept that.”
“Duckbriar, she’s your sister.”
“It barely feels like it anymore. I wasn’t that young when we came here, but JaggedClan feels like another lifetime, and it’s hard to think about myself as the cat that I was. I feel like someone completely different now, and I… they don’t know me anymore. And I don’t know them.”
“I’m not asking you to make a decision now,” Addersong said, gently resting her chin on top of her daughter’s head, “or… any time soon, but I do think you should talk to your friends about it, think it through. Even if it’s just to say what you need to say to them. I think you have a lot of grief and a lot of anger, and… while your father might not agree, we don’t have to tell him that I think it might be a good idea to knock some sense into your sister. It can be our little secret.” Duckbriar choked out a laugh, pressing her face into her mother’s neck.
“I love you. And you weren’t a bad mother. You did the best you could.”
“Thank you. I hope you know you’re my greatest achievement. You’ve grown up so wonderful, Duckbriar, I couldn’t ask for a better daughter. I love you more than I love the ground beneath my paws, more than I love the blanket of the sky, more than I love salmon-” she laughed as Duckbriar snorted and pushed at her, a little purr escaping her throat.
“I’ll think about it.”
“Good,” Addersong’s eyes softened, “thank you.”
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
` servings consumed
15/15 - x5 birds
` clan events
the medicine cats search for kitting herbs
spraypaw takes his warrior assessment
foampaw learns to climb
squallpaw, typhoonpaw, crowpaw, ravenpaw & duskpaw learn to hunt
` patrols
hunting-
1 - whisperwind, bramblingrose, ausmasthorn, argentripple, bearears, owlhop
2 - summitsky, midnightblaze, primrosepetal, koishimmer, sunnynose, winderstrike
3 - twosight, wolfwhisker, brewingice, ironsoul, daisyflicker, carnationbloom
4 - splitface, flamestream, birchfang, waspshine, tulipdancer, eagleglide
5 - fallowstep, rivermask, oceancry, gustshimmer, pepperspark, pansyflower
border-
1 - thunderjaw, brackenstrike, hazerise, fogbelly, duckbriar, plumiris
` servings consumed
15/15 - x5 birds
` clan events
the medicine cats search for kitting herbs
spraypaw takes his warrior assessment
foampaw learns to climb
squallpaw, typhoonpaw, crowpaw, ravenpaw & duskpaw learn to hunt
` patrols
hunting-
1 - whisperwind, bramblingrose, ausmasthorn, argentripple, bearears, owlhop
2 - summitsky, midnightblaze, primrosepetal, koishimmer, sunnynose, winderstrike
3 - twosight, wolfwhisker, brewingice, ironsoul, daisyflicker, carnationbloom
4 - splitface, flamestream, birchfang, waspshine, tulipdancer, eagleglide
5 - fallowstep, rivermask, oceancry, gustshimmer, pepperspark, pansyflower
border-
1 - thunderjaw, brackenstrike, hazerise, fogbelly, duckbriar, plumiris
- ` leader
`` sleetstar | 88 moons | ♀
✦✦✦✦✦✧✧✧✧
` deputy
`` brackenstrike | 97 moons | ♀
` medicine cat
`` poppywish | 79 moons | ♂ - [5sp]
` medicine cat apprentice
`` sprucefur | 28 moons | ♂
` warriors
`` summitsky | 91 moons | ♂
`` hollyfeather | 66 moons | ♀
`` thunderjaw | 86 moons | ♂
`` howlingeye | 69 moons | ♂
`` splitface | 94 moons | ♀
`` midnightblaze | 94 moons | ♂
`` bearears | 61 moons | ♀
`` fallowstep | 86 moons | ♂
`` hawkeyes | 91 moons | ♂
`` viridianfire | 53 moons | ♀
`` frostclaw | 103 moons | ♂
`` koishimmer | 55 moons | ♀
`` birchfang | 61 moons | ♂
`` sunnynose | 74 moons | ♂
`` whisperwind | 43 moons | ♂
`` rivermask | 76 moons | ♀
`` waspshine | 62 moons | ♂
`` winderstrike | 76 moons | ♂
`` twilightflower | 66 moons | ♀
`` sorrelsong | 52 moons | ♀
`` twosight | 102 moons | ♂
`` ausmasthorn | 40 moons | ♀
`` bramblingrose | 40 moons | ♂
`` addersong | 73 moons | ♀
`` graypeak | 71 moons | ♂
`` falconstreak | 67 moons | ♀
`` emberpetal | 37 moons | ♀
`` flamestream | 37 moons | ♂
`` honeyheart | 71 moons | ♂
`` primrosepetal | 55 moons | ♀
`` wolfwhisker | 34 moons | ♂
`` duckbriar | 35 moons | ♀
`` fogbelly | 83 moons | ♀
`` hazerise | 81 moons | ♀
`` brewingice | 33 moons | ♂
`` lightningivy | 33 moons | ♀
`` lynxdash | 32 moons | ♂
`` dapplelotus | 46 moons | ♀
`` featherfall | 34 moons | ♀
`` snowsilver | 34 moons | ♂
`` silvercreek | 28 moons | ♀
`` blackdusk | 27 moons | ♂
`` argentripple | 42 moons | ♂
`` robinwhistle | 46 moons | ♀
`` mapleskip | 72 moons | ♂
`` burningflame | 88 moons | ♀
`` plumiris | 35 moons | ♀
`` owlhop | 35 moons | ♂
`` cairnstone | 30 moons | ♂
`` ouncespirit | 47 moons | ♂
`` ironsoul | 25 moons | ♀
`` daisyflicker | 23 moons | ♀
`` pansyflower | 23 moons | ♀
`` cedarglint | 52 moons | ♀
`` russetswoop | 52 moons | ♀
`` eagleglide | 18 moons | ♂
`` carnationbloom | 18 moons | ♀
`` tulipdancer | 18 moons | ♂
`` magnoliabite | 18 moons | ♀
`` pepperspark | 16 moons | ☉
`` infernotalon | 32 moons | ♀
`` gustshimmer | 16 moons | ♂
`` oceancry | 14 moons | ♀
` apprentices
`` foampaw | 14 moons | ♂
`` spraypaw | 14 moons | ♂
`` squallpaw | 9 moons | ♂
`` typhoonpaw | 9 moons | ♂
`` crowpaw | 8 moons | ♂
`` ravenpaw | 8 moons | ♀
`` duskpaw | 8 moons | ♀
`` beechpaw | 6 moons | ♀
`` pinepaw | 6 moons | ♂
` queens and kits
`` foxspring | 46 moons | ♂
↪ stagkit, dipperkit & raccoonkit [4, ♂♂♂]
`` leopardrunner | 38 moons | ♂
↪ auburnkit, rosekit, harrierkit &
blazekit [3, ♀♂♀♀]
`` mountainfrost | 37 moons | ☉
↪ owlkit, dovekit & heronkit [2, ♀♀♀]
`` butterflyshine | 34 moons | ♀
↪ due 1 moons
` elders
`` magpiefeather | 133 moons | ♀
`` olivetuft | 127 moons | ♀
` ally clans
none currently.
` enemy clans
none currently.
` borders
↑ | open
→ | whitebark | grey_hoodie
↓ | two-leg village
← | ski slope
` medicine store
catmint [5] | greencough
lungwort [1] | yellowcough
chickweed [2] | greencough
tansy [1] | greencough
fennel [4] | hip pain
mallow leaves [1] | bellyache
dock [1] | scratches
burdock root [1] | infection
blackberry leaves [1] | bee stings
raspberry leaves [3] | kitting
cobweb [2] | bleeding
marigold [3] | infection
horsetail [1] | infection
chervil [3] | infections/kitting
ragwort leaves [1] | kitting
honey [1] | sore throat
stick [1] | pain
borage [1] | milk/fevers
parsley [1] | kitting
tormentil [1] | wounds
sweet-sedge [1] | infection
celadine [1] | eyes
` fresh-kill pile
vole | x5| 1 servings [5]
rabbit | x14 | 2 servings [28]
stoat | x11| 2 servings [22]
small fish | x3 | 2 servings [6]
hare | x11| 3 servings [33]
bird | x13 | 3 servings [39]
` mentors
honeyheart | foampaw [3]
↪ hunt, battle, swim
featherfall | spraypaw [4]
↪ battle, hunt, endurance, swim
addersong | squallpaw [2]
↪ battle, swim
silvercreek | typhoonpaw [2]
↪ battle, swim
hawkeyes | crowpaw [1]
↪ swim
frostclaw | ravenpaw [1]
↪ swim
sorrelsong | duskpaw [1]
↪ swim
twilightflower | beechpaw [0]
↪ skills
viridianfire | pinepaw [0]
↪ skills
` deceased
archive
` family ties
archive
none currently.
` enemy clans
none currently.
` borders
↑ | open
→ | whitebark | grey_hoodie
↓ | two-leg village
← | ski slope
` medicine store
catmint [5] | greencough
lungwort [1] | yellowcough
chickweed [2] | greencough
tansy [1] | greencough
fennel [4] | hip pain
mallow leaves [1] | bellyache
dock [1] | scratches
burdock root [1] | infection
blackberry leaves [1] | bee stings
raspberry leaves [3] | kitting
cobweb [2] | bleeding
marigold [3] | infection
horsetail [1] | infection
chervil [3] | infections/kitting
ragwort leaves [1] | kitting
honey [1] | sore throat
stick [1] | pain
borage [1] | milk/fevers
parsley [1] | kitting
tormentil [1] | wounds
sweet-sedge [1] | infection
celadine [1] | eyes
` fresh-kill pile
vole | x5| 1 servings [5]
rabbit | x14 | 2 servings [28]
stoat | x11| 2 servings [22]
small fish | x3 | 2 servings [6]
hare | x11| 3 servings [33]
bird | x13 | 3 servings [39]
` mentors
honeyheart | foampaw [3]
↪ hunt, battle, swim
featherfall | spraypaw [4]
↪ battle, hunt, endurance, swim
addersong | squallpaw [2]
↪ battle, swim
silvercreek | typhoonpaw [2]
↪ battle, swim
hawkeyes | crowpaw [1]
↪ swim
frostclaw | ravenpaw [1]
↪ swim
sorrelsong | duskpaw [1]
↪ swim
twilightflower | beechpaw [0]
↪ skills
viridianfire | pinepaw [0]
↪ skills
` deceased
archive
` family ties
archive
