── your past becomes your god

[lol]

the best person in your life is
the first person
who comes to mind when reading this

[lol]

her lips are upturned into pleasentry, she beams
just like the house next door light gleams
everytime i happen to hear from her, it’s an absolute treat
she has me hopeless and beat
this etheral being is quite the hugger
and i dream of us cuddling under the covers
she’s got a thumb of green and gold
while her figure is bold and her stories remain untold
the sillhoutte she casts is utterly exquisite
her entire world is dedicated to being requisite
i adore her... too much
don't mention it, or else i'll fall off my crutch

[lol]

your inner tick, tick, ticking
makes my outer click, click, clicking
a living nightmare on earth
i find it so hard to compensate my worth
my tongue is laced with grounded dirt
your laugh is nothing but a flirt
those days out in the sun
could've been as boring as a nun
and yet... you still don't understand
my advances towards to get you canned
you are so bland

your inner tick, tick, ticking
makes my outer click, click, clicking
a living nightmare on earth
truly, what is your worth?

[lol]

scarecrow birds and hawks hanging like limp nooses. i keep seeing deers... i keep seeing her. the hawks follow suit apparently. the two come hand in hand. deers and hawks. what does it mean?
not too long ago, i was driving, and i had to avoid part of a dead deer's body hanging off into the curvature of the road- no longer than a few seconds later, i saw the remnants of her. i miss her. in that same day, i saw two hawks. one in the morning, another in the late afternoon. they were hard to spot, but i saw them. where i live, hawks are rare. you don't get to see them often, but lately, i've seen more hawks than i've seen in the last four years. today, i saw another hawk and a deer a few minutes after. it was a weird lineup of events, but.. it meant something. a maneuver of an omen. a deer and a hawk. what does it mean?

[lol]

laughter, it was daft
we started on opposed paths
it was exciting
she was smothered in demure
dalliance was written up

[lol]

there are unexplainable reasons as to why i love you
you're like a denouement, let me miscue
too subtle, too loud, too fugacious
time spent with you is so spacious
you have my undivided cynosure
you're about as holy as the tips of a crozier
this feeling is indescribable to a certain degree
but my heart races like some sort of marquee

[lol]

a bruised stubbed up toe
a hard furtive scream of pain
maniacal harm

[lol]

the chandelier hangs off with a certain measure of uncertainty. he tilts his head directly up, staring at the cantered plaster on the ceiling. "why don't i understand?" he muttered under his corpulent breath of weighted despondency.
"i know why," she moons with a calling of eloquent mannerisms. her face is white and full of shock- if anything, she resembles an uncanny aura to the main woman in 'lamb to the slaughter'. "you're not mature enough to understand. mature people would get why the chandelier hangs a millimeter off from the center of the ballroom." her tone is conniving and full of it. all the man can do is simply stutter a drawl of incoherent disbelief.
"i'm too young to understand? why... you're not even a day over twenty-three! how can you say that to me?" the woman bats her eyelashes and drops her head downwards, her middle-part is unruly, and quite frankly, ugly.
"you're just not mature enough. age doesn't matter, that doesn't factor in whether or not you have a handle on subjection in basic human life." her words were starting to mold together like hot cheese to buttered toast. what the hell was the point of this conversation? to understand why the chandelier was a millimeter off from the center of the ballroom, or how he was considered immature? her fingernails caused an uproar on the tablecloth. beats of unfamiliarized anxiety pattered against the table, and the man just about had it. "do you finally get it?" she interrupted. his breath was caught in the midst of his larynx and sent straight back into his shocked spine.
"what is there to get? that i'm immature? that the man who installed the electrolier must've been set on a drink of booze? what are you trying to get at?" it was evident that he was starting to pull through an angry mindset, much like a magician pulling a rabbit out of its black hat with ease.
"stop thinking so much and just look at it... the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of god, or that's what the 'mature' people say." she tattered before picking up her quaint dove like frame and spinning away into the cotillion of the room. he just sat there, head distilling back, neck prickling with a carcass of pain, and eyes sauntered low. he wasn't thinking, nor speaking... but finally, he understood. he was no longer immature.

[lol]

"it only, takes a moment,
for your eyes to meet, and then...
your heart knows, in a moment,
you will never be alone again.

i held her, for an instant,
but my arms felt sure, and strong...
it only, takes a moment
to be loved, a whole life,
long...

'isn't the world full of wonderful things?
i have lost so many things, my job, my future,
everything that people think is important, but i don't care!
cause even if i have to dig ditches for the rest of my life,
i should be a ditch digger who once had a wonderful day!'

('hey mister do you mind, i came in late, right after-')
it only, (takes a moment)

he held me, for an instant.
but his arms, felt safe and strong.
it only, takes a moment, to be loved,
a whole life long.

and that is all, that loves about.
and we'll recall, when time runs out...
that it only, took a moment, to be loved...

whole...
life...
long."

— michael crawford (from the "hello, dolly!" soundtrack)

[lol]

the innards of my cavernous mind is filled to the brim with chiropterans. they all gnaw away at the serotonin that i have left like hungry vampires desiring the finest of wine-ish blood. there is the occasional gemstones that glimmer and shine with peculiar thoughts shuffled away for later. some are rarer than others, but most of all, they're starting to lose their shimmer. the bats that reside inside my mind are starting to decay and lose their desire to chipping away at my hopeful thoughts. there just might be hope for my clouded mind.