WE HAVE A PLAN. And it better work, since I spent half the night thinking it up.
Basically, this is what we're going to do. We shall go and see Ray, hope he decides to help us, then go to London. Once we're there, we shall look around for a bit, find the Queen and these criminals, then come home. And with all these criminals I know, we could get some help. After all, they think I still work for Quinn, and I must have been entered onto some sort of criminal database.
In the mean time, Dylan has been researching any places in London which are abandoned, and Sam has been practicing kicking down doors and crawling through air vents and defending us and all of that stuff.
There's only one problem.
We kind of need the help of Angie and Diesel. And maybe Watson.
Well, Diesel's good at hacking into stuff, and Angie's also good at defending and attacking and breaking down doors and stuff. There's an extremely high risk of Sam getting hurt.
Mainly because she always does seem to be getting hurt. And I don't care if she doesn't feel any pain, I can't risk the plan becoming messed up.
When I got to school, I casually walked over to Angie and Diesel, who were having some sort of fight involving hurling paper at each other. They stopped suddenly and stared at me.
"What do you want, Sherlock?" Angie muttered.
"I... need your help." I began.
"Why? Your posh friends not good enough?" Diesel snapped.
"No... You see..."
I explained the entire plan to them. Which was pointless. They just walked away and ignored me.
Great. Now we're stuck.
Mr. Smith was pretty boring today, yakking on about how we are going to do an assembly about...
HEALTHY EATING!
Wow. So intense.
He'd produced this script, and assigned us all parts. I was Mushroom number 3. Sam was Chief Asparagus.
Roxie was the main part, and was a girl exploring Vegetable Land, where we all lived. It was meant to promote the joys and wonders of vegetables.
And guess what? I have one line to say.
Mushroom 3: I like vegetables.
WHAT? SO I'M A CANNIBAL MUSHROOM CREEP?
Great. And even worse, there's some song.
Eat five fruits and vegetables every day,
Five fruits and vegetables, so they say.
Makes you feel happy, healthy and strong.
Five fruits and vegetables all day long.
How ‘bout a shoe, is that a fruit or a vegetable?
How ‘bout a stick?
How ‘bout a banana?
How ‘bout broccoli?
Eat five fruits and vegetables every day,
Five fruits and vegetables, so they say.
Makes you feel happy, healthy and strong.
Five fruits and vegetables all day long.
How ‘bout bub ble gum, is that a fruit or a vegetable?
How ‘bout dirt, is that a fruit or a vegetable?
How ‘bout carrots?
How ‘bout squash?
Eat five fruits and vegetables every day,
Five fruits and vegetables, so they say.
Makes you feel happy, healthy and strong.
Five fruits and vegetables all day long.
How ‘bout your little brother or sister,
Are they fruits and vegetables?
How ‘bout a beach ball?
How ‘bout grapes?
How ‘bout celery?
Eat five fruits and vegetables every day,
Five fruits and vegetables, so they say.
Makes you feel happy, healthy and strong.
Five fruits and vegetables all day long.
Five fruits and vegetables, so they say.
Makes you feel happy, healthy and strong.
Five fruits and vegetables all day long.
How ‘bout a shoe, is that a fruit or a vegetable?
How ‘bout a stick?
How ‘bout a banana?
How ‘bout broccoli?
Eat five fruits and vegetables every day,
Five fruits and vegetables, so they say.
Makes you feel happy, healthy and strong.
Five fruits and vegetables all day long.
How ‘bout bub ble gum, is that a fruit or a vegetable?
How ‘bout dirt, is that a fruit or a vegetable?
How ‘bout carrots?
How ‘bout squash?
Eat five fruits and vegetables every day,
Five fruits and vegetables, so they say.
Makes you feel happy, healthy and strong.
Five fruits and vegetables all day long.
How ‘bout your little brother or sister,
Are they fruits and vegetables?
How ‘bout a beach ball?
How ‘bout grapes?
How ‘bout celery?
Eat five fruits and vegetables every day,
Five fruits and vegetables, so they say.
Makes you feel happy, healthy and strong.
Five fruits and vegetables all day long.
Who. Is. He. Kidding? Does he seriously expect a bunch of teenagers to sing a stupid song about vegetables? None of us even eat our daily dosage of them. We live of junk food.
JUNK FOOD.
Or some random stuff made by our parents. Like sheep spit and cow foot soup. *cough*
But still...
I REFUSE TO TAKE PART IN THE STUPID ASSEMBLY.
We had to rehearse it in the hall. I felt stupid being Mushroom 3. But what made life extremely unfair is that Angie's doing lights and Diesel's doing music.
SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO BE HUMILIATED, UNLIKE THE REST OF US.
Mr. Smith handed out a bunch of vegetable costumes, and demanded us to put them on, so we felt even more stupid.
But then Sam decided to do a handstand, because she was bored, so ripped down the stage curtains and sent half the cast flying. All the tomatoes bounced off, and the carrots and bananas were stuck doing barrel rolls. I suppose the advantage of being a mushroom is that it's pretty hard for them to fall over, so at least I had my dignity.
After school, Sam wanted to see Dylan again ("He speaks funny" according to her) so I dragged her around to his house, and gave her some friendly advice.
"Just... don't say a word, OK?"
"Um... Sure."
Dylan looked freaked out when he saw Sam, but I told him how she was going to be As Silent As A Mouse.
"But mice squeak." he snapped.
"Well, a mute mouse."
Once we got to his bedroom, I explained about the plan. And I was not interrupted whatsoever.
That is, until Sam decided humming the vegetable song.
"What exactly are you humming?" Dylan asked.
"The vegetable song. Sherlock's a Mushroom. I can sing it, if you want. In Kannadan. Not a lot of people have heard of it before, but it's one of the 30 national languages of India." she replied.
"Oh, no. Let Sherlock sing it, since he was in a band."
Why did Dylan have to know that? Watson must have told Melanie who must have told him.
Great.
"Really? Were you famous, then? I want to hear this!"
"I was only bass." I protested, but they wouldn't shut up. So I attempted to do a Sam, and jumped out of the window.
Except there were two problems.
The first was that it was closed.
The second was that I don't have whatever power Sam has that stops her getting injured.
I must have blacked out or something, because I woke up in a hospital bed.
"What happened?" I groaned.
"You broke your shoulder." Sam said, suddenly appearing. Dylan was there too, but standing away from everybody, as were my parents and Watson and Mycroft.
"Why did you jump out of the window? Did you feel threatened?" Mum asked.
"Kind of..."
"Then you need to tell Lestrade!" Dad cried. "I shall call him! Watson and Mycroft got you gifts, by the way."
Mycroft got me some deerstalker hat. (Har har har. Not.)
And Watson got me a Squidward doll.
And I had a panic attack.
And Sam and Dylan just stared at me.
And then the doctor rushed in and thought I was dead and preformed CPR on me.
AND IT HURT.
All he needed to do was look at me, not just start pumping my chest.
Or doing mouth to mouth.
Bleugh.
Anyway, Nincompoop, my arm hurts from writing, so I'm going to go now.
From,
Sherlock.
. Oranges are not sport equipment. Never has, and hopefully never will be.. nor are they weapons. I used the word Nor 
)
... most of it didn't at least.
