This Is A Journal..... NOT A Diary!/TIAJNAD

[Kay the Cat-Fox]

Hey guys, let's not argue. Rosebay, I think you're being a little rude; that wasn't very nice. Please try to refrain from doing that, CS is not a place to fight.

[Magespark]

So, I've just read the first section of this, and I probably won't be reading anymore. I spend my time writing critiques for aspiring writers online, I will try and give them advice which I hope is somewhat valid to becoming a professional writer. I personally feel that I'm just being honest and I have a strict sense of what publishers will pay for.

Firstly I'll address these kind of things; all caps, excessive use of exclamation marks ect.
"AGH! I DID IT AGAIN! SORRY! SHEESH! SORRY FOR SAYING SORRY! AAGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (part 2)
If this is supposed to be a journal, myself and many others I know, wouldn't bother to write out an argument with ourselves in capital letters. I know I'd simply just state it happened and maybe say I found it funny. But, maybe that's just me. However (I'm going to get into the personal preferences circle here), I really don't like when I see this in pieces of writing. To me, it looks out of place and is just used to fill in caps. I'm sure this wasn't your intention as I read on, but upon initial sighting (bear in mind I'd just glanced at the topic), it drew my attention immediately, and not in a good way.

Small mistake here; "Jenette coughed the words "Loser"," here; "fakley" (part 1) and here; "Jessy ranmed herself against" (part 2) here; "he curshes it" here; "sticks it to the cieling" (part 4)
You wrote that she 'coughed [...] words, but in actual fact it was just one word.
That's fakely, and there's been a lot of speculation about the word fakely. I honestly don't feel it should be classed as a word as it's not in the Oxford English Dictionary, Merriam-Webster or Collins English Dictionary, however, that could be because I'm British.
Should be 'rammed', 'crushes' then 'ceiling'.

Here; "I knew Mom was looking at me to say goodnight to me" (part 3)
"He was dying, so I put him in a bowl of water, and he swam around, happy to be in water." (part 4)
The repetition of 'me', I feel, bodes ill in this particular phrase. For me; it's just unnecessary words that aren't needed. I'd suggest cutting the last 'to me' out if you ever edit.
Again, the word 'water' is repeated. For me; it just screams inexperience. But adding the fact that the fish was happy is okay; if you ever edit, I'd suggest changing the word 'water' to a synonym.

I could write more as I go on, but I'm pushed for time. I'll just make a last note of how I very much dislike the coloured text and the fact it isn't in quotation marks. Some of the writers I know keep diaries (or journals, as you tend to call them), and I've had the discussion of quotation marks in these kind of materials before. They informed me that they rarely used them because they hardly ever wrote direct discourse, as all they usually wrote was indirect discourse. This is because it's past tense. It's already been said and is being repeated by the writer from memory. Though I understand how you've written it as such, I still feel like most people who are writing in journals will use indirect discourse unless quoting a person directly.

[• DEFY THE CAPITOL •]

So, I've just read the first section of this, and I probably won't be reading anymore. I spend my time writing critiques for aspiring writers online, I will try and give them advice which I hope is somewhat valid to becoming a professional writer. I personally feel that I'm just being honest and I have a strict sense of what publishers will pay for.

Firstly I'll address these kind of things; all caps, excessive use of exclamation marks ect.
"AGH! I DID IT AGAIN! SORRY! SHEESH! SORRY FOR SAYING SORRY! AAGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (part 2)
If this is supposed to be a journal, myself and many others I know, wouldn't bother to write out an argument with ourselves in capital letters. I know I'd simply just state it happened and maybe say I found it funny. But, maybe that's just me. However (I'm going to get into the personal preferences circle here), I really don't like when I see this in pieces of writing. To me, it looks out of place and is just used to fill in caps. I'm sure this wasn't your intention as I read on, but upon initial sighting (bear in mind I'd just glanced at the topic), it drew my attention immediately, and not in a good way.

Small mistake here; "Jenette coughed the words "Loser"," here; "fakley" (part 1) and here; "Jessy ranmed herself against" (part 2) here; "he curshes it" here; "sticks it to the cieling" (part 4)
You wrote that she 'coughed [...] words, but in actual fact it was just one word.
That's fakely, and there's been a lot of speculation about the word fakely. I honestly don't feel it should be classed as a word as it's not in the Oxford English Dictionary, Merriam-Webster or Collins English Dictionary, however, that could be because I'm British.
Should be 'rammed', 'crushes' then 'ceiling'.

Here; "I knew Mom was looking at me to say goodnight to me" (part 3)
"He was dying, so I put him in a bowl of water, and he swam around, happy to be in water." (part 4)
The repetition of 'me', I feel, bodes ill in this particular phrase. For me; it's just unnecessary words that aren't needed. I'd suggest cutting the last 'to me' out if you ever edit.
Again, the word 'water' is repeated. For me; it just screams inexperience. But adding the fact that the fish was happy is okay; if you ever edit, I'd suggest changing the word 'water' to a synonym.

I could write more as I go on, but I'm pushed for time. I'll just make a last note of how I very much dislike the coloured text and the fact it isn't in quotation marks. Some of the writers I know keep diaries (or journals, as you tend to call them), and I've had the discussion of quotation marks in these kind of materials before. They informed me that they rarely used them because they hardly ever wrote direct discourse, as all they usually wrote was indirect discourse. This is because it's past tense. It's already been said and is being repeated by the writer from memory. Though I understand how you've written it as such, I still feel like most people who are writing in journals will use indirect discourse unless quoting a person directly.

Thank you for your criticism! I didn't find it rude at all, but rather helpful. I'm always looking for advice on my books.
About the misspelled words, I realize later that they are misspelled. I edited most of the misspellings when I published the book.
And yes, I see that the whole water thing was rather redundant.
And at first when I started writing this, I was actually going to use quotation marks, but then decided against it because all my other books that I had written (no here on CS) I had always used quotation marks in. So I wanted to try something different, which I did.
Sorry for the short reply, and thank you for your instructive criticism! Really, it means a lot. I'm always looking for a way to improve my writing!

[Magespark]

Ah, you're more than welcome! I had noticed after I posted that you'd published and figured you had fixed the spelling mistakes - however I was just too lazy to edit. xD

And no problems for the short reply; you might be surprised to here that I usually don't get much more than a 'thank you' on many of my critiques. However, this is my first on CS, so I won't judge a book by its cover (if you'll pardon the expression). ^^

[• DEFY THE CAPITOL •]

Ah, you're more than welcome! I had noticed after I posted that you'd published and figured you had fixed the spelling mistakes - however I was just too lazy to edit. xD

And no problems for the short reply; you might be surprised to here that I usually don't get much more than a 'thank you' on many of my critiques. However, this is my first on CS, so I won't judge a book by its cover (if you'll pardon the expression). ^^

lol, that's okay! I understand. I'm really lazy when it comes to editing posts, too. XD

Wow, most people just say "thank you"? I find that almost rude, because you spent all that time typing up your message, and all they say is "thank you"? Huh. I'd hate it if someone did that to me. -.-

And thanks! And I don't mind that expression, it's actually one of my favorite expressions. ^.^

Thanks again! Always glad for help on my books (sorry I keep on saying thank you, I'm just thankful)!

[Rebel Faery]

Ah, haters, haters, haters.
Why do you bother reading if you hate it??? That's like buying a book just to burn it. A waste of time, effort and energy. But you shouldn't listen. I mean, seriously??? You have one completed series, three books in a second, two backstories, a load of fans and a fan movie! All because you've written a good book and people love it. Don't focus on the haters, they don't matter. Just look ahead, find your muse, and write.


((96 haters, 92 fans. You've done well, my friend.))

[Magespark]

lol, that's okay! I understand. I'm really lazy when it comes to editing posts, too. XD

Wow, most people just say "thank you"? I find that almost rude, because you spent all that time typing up your message, and all they say is "thank you"? Huh. I'd hate it if someone did that to me. -.-

And thanks! And I don't mind that expression, it's actually one of my favorite expressions. ^.^

Thanks again! Always glad for help on my books (sorry I keep on saying thank you, I'm just thankful)!

You'd be surprised.

But, I continue to do so because it's the case of for every # of critiques I write, I'll get someone whose genuinely thankful, polite and friendly. Unfortunately, I'm not magic (despite what my username connotes), so I can't see the grateful users straight away.

But, even if I write 100 critiques, and I get only one person who's thankful and takes heed of my words; that's enough for me. ^^

[forecast]

Wow, neat book! I want to buy it my mum buys me books so i'll get her to buy me this one. I barely ask for books o-o So consider it a compliment ^3^ and i don't care what haters think ouo

[• DEFY THE CAPITOL •]

Wow, neat book! I want to buy it my mum buys me books so i'll get her to buy me this one. I barely ask for books o-o So consider it a compliment ^3^ and i don't care what haters think ouo

Awesome! Thank you so much! And thanks again, about the whole hater thing. Besides, if you look at the poll above, there are about 194 votes, so that means that at least 194 people have looked at it! That's an accomplishment all on it's own, right? :3

[forecast]

Wow, neat book! I want to buy it my mum buys me books so i'll get her to buy me this one. I barely ask for books o-o So consider it a compliment ^3^ and i don't care what haters think ouo

Awesome! Thank you so much! And thanks again, about the whole hater thing. Besides, if you look at the poll above, there are about 194 votes, so that means that at least 194 people have looked at it! That's an accomplishment all on it's own, right? :3

Yeahhhhh
I bet the people who voted the bad choice just want to be "different"