Kidd's stories, ramblings and lore

[kidd-cant-grow-up]

How did I live before i had you in my life
I remember meeting you that one day while visiting a shelter
I picked you up in my arms and from that moment I didn't want to be separated from you
The way you purred in my arms after just meeting
the way you trusted me when you had no prior experience with humans
I remmeber bringing you home and watching you crawl around curiously
You were so scared of everything around you but you still trusted me and purred loudly
I remember seeing you cuddle up to the other cats for the first time
That's when I knew that life was going to be just like this
I didn't need to worry about how you fit in because I saw my puzzle get completed right then and there
But who knows maybe I'll feel this way with my next cat but what i do know is I will cherish every moment I have with these cats as they are everything to me

[kidd-cant-grow-up]

"I'm sad" croaked the little frog as he sat on his lilly pad and looked up into the endless sky the fireflies blinking their lights as they flew around they were so majestic how they danced in the air the little frog thought to himself about how the fireflies made him feel happy then he saw them start to form a shape with their bodies wait no they're spelling somthing the little frog watched in awe as the message was being formed it said "you are loved" the little frog started smiling and the fireflies surrounded him with lots of hugs and words of incouragement and the little frog truly did feel loved

[kidd-cant-grow-up]

Some times I don't really feel like me
The choices I've made to define me don't feel like me
It feels as though I rushed through a character creator
Like I pushed randomize until it was semi okay
every time I leveled up I'd push it again
Gaining skills and interest but I didn't really choose them
Do these choices reflect me at all? What if I chose wrong?
Maybe there is no true self just perception
All I know is the way I precive myself is different from how others perceive me
Maybe that says somthing about human experience
Or maybe not

[kidd-cant-grow-up]

i kinda forget to keep up with posting so here's most of the things i wrote in the time of forgetting about this

I am a patchwork human
Every stage of my life I've added a new patch
Every patch has come from the people I know
These patches include my likes, dislikes and opinions
None of these patches feel like they belong to me
Like a fish in a river the fish doesn't own the river
but the fish wouldn't be a fish without it

Are we still friends?
I've forgotten how you sound
I've forgotten how you talk
I've forgotten how you made me feel
Have you forgotten me as well?
I clung onto you so tight but you still slipped through my hands
Maybe trying to hold you hurt you more than i thought
I was too selfish to let another person leave me
Maybe I still am trying to hold onto you
Extending my hand into the void hoping this time someone will hold onto me

Do you ever want to show your struggles to someone
But they see your strength
You think they don't see your struggles
they do see...
They know life is hard they know it hasn't been easy on you
They also see how hard your working and trying your best
You are the one who is blind
You are the one telling only half the story
They see both sides and they believe in you don't you think that's something to consider
That maybe you are strong like they say
That maybe you can survive this like they say
Maybe you should start believing in yourself like they do

Do you ever wonder what it's like to be a fly on the wall
With eyes that see countless scenes playing at the same time
Some seem like they connect to make a story while others don't seem to be coherent at all
I think people are a lot like this
We're all connected in the grand scheme of things but on an individual scale you can point out connections and lack or connections
Look at one person and you'll see their story
Look at one group and you'll see overlap and new connections
Look at the stranger in the story until they are no longer strangers
Look at yourself, what story do you have to tell?
Who will be a part of your story?
How will your story progress?
What makes your story move on?
you are not a fly on the wall, this is your story you get to decide

[kidd-cant-grow-up]

I am a desperate artist
I want my art to be appreciated
I want my work to mean something
I don't want to be pitied
I dont want to ask for attention
Because if I ask that means it's not good enough
If I ask I'll be seen as annoying and unlovable
So I'll sit here and gatekeep my art whilst being my biggest critic
I am a desperate artist
I just want to be appreciated 
Is that too much to ask for?

[kidd-cant-grow-up]

I am not a good person
barely even a person
just a bad dog
biting when I'm scared
scratching and ruining everything around me
you cannot love me
I am just a bad dog