/ frailties
1,657 words
Tovoth awoke to white lights and the familiar sound of a beeping Pulse monitor. Slowly he opened his eyes and waited for them to focus. It took much longer for it should have for the room around him to become clear.
The first thing he saw, besides the medical equipment, was a tall thin Vive, standing close to him, their head bowed and eyes locked on a commpad.
"Um, hello?"
She looked up as he spoke.
"Where am I?"
"On the star craft Essar," she replied shortly "In the medical bay."
"Yes, I gathered that much," he rubbed at a sore spot on his neck and sat up "How long have I been here?"
"About 4 Cycles."
"I what!? I've been unconscious that long?"
"No, you've been unconscious much longer. More about..." she paused and tilted her head, counting silently on her hands "7 1/2 Cycles? Considering from what Veem told us happened on the freighter."
"You can't be serious. There was no reason for me to be unconscious for so long."
"Oh, you have no idea," there was a touch of sympathy in her voice.
"No idea, about what?"
She set her commpad down and stepped closer "How are you feeling?"
"Terrible," gingerly he stretched his wing out "This was bent."
"Yes, we were able to fix that. Anything else?"
"Why?" He gave her a suspsicious look "Are you expecting something in particular? Where's Veem?"
"Oh, Veem," she stepped aside and gestured towards another medical bed. Veem's oversized frame was hunched awkwardly on the too-small space and he didn't seem to be moving.
"What happened to him?"
Tovoth started to slide off the bed but he crumpled back as his knees refused to support him.
"Hold on, hold on, you can't get up yet," she place her hand on his shoulder, forcing him to lay the rest of the way back down "Your system's still renewing itself."
"Wh...why?"
"You had a virus."
"Yes, I did, but it went dormant and my system purged it."
"Well, partially, but when we rescued you and Veem from the freighter, we were forced to use a jump technology to escape a gravimetric blackout and apparently the frequencies we endured from the jump, reactivated the virus that was still in your body."
Tovoth's eyes widened "How did you get rid of it?"
She laced her fingers together, curling them inwards towards her palms "Did you ever hear of the plague on Harron?"
"Yes... that's what it was in my system...it's a long story."
"Veem told me. Anyway, I knew someone who'd been there when the plague broke out and was afterwards contained, she told me the 'cure' so to speak."
"I didn't even know there was one. The first time the virus went dormant, the procedure was experimental to say the very least."
"Yes, well, this one was too."
"What was it," Tovoth's eyes kept traveling past her to Veem's unmoving body.
"Light transfusion."
His gaze snapped back on her, eyes wide with shock.
"Yes. To fully stop the Dead Light, it requires a Light transfusion on the moment the victim's Light goes still."
"And Veem...?"
She nodded.
His head lolled back and he stared blankly at the ceiling for a full minute.
"Tovoth?"
He blinked once "Would you mind giving me a minute?"
"Of course," Trance disappeared from his line of sight and he heard her footsteps fade.
He sat up again, feeling dizzy, but this time not from the pain. He couldn't believe Veem would do that.
He remember back on the freighter, when he thought Veem was going to abandon him, and slowly a sense of guilt began to penetrate him. Even though he'd done so much, risked so much.
He'd never expected Veem to really care about any of it, never really expected him to even be capable of returning the favor, so to speak.
Because, Tovoth had to be honest with himself, no one ever was.
But giving Light? Light was how they measured their live, Light, was in a sense, time incarnate, at least to Vives. A drop could be translated as a minute, or an hour, or a day, and all the Light inside of them amounted to what was their average lifespan.
Veem had literally sacrificed part of his life to save Tovoth.
He pressed the heel of his palm against his forehead, forcing himself to take a long breath, feeling overwhelmed.
"Tov...oth?" Veem voice scraped out across the room, pulling the doctor's attention to him.
"Veem, Veem what were you thinking," Tovoth opened his wings, forgetting that one had been damaged and flew over to Veem, his whole body lagging through the air from the residual aches "You could have died for Seventh's sake!"
Veem closed his eyes at Tovoth's loud voice "But you were dying."
"We've already established that doesn't matter! I can't have you going off, doing insane things like giving me your Light!"
Even though his eyes were closed, Veem winced and managed to pull himself a little further away from Tovoth.
"Veem. Veem. Do you understand? I did everything I possibly could to keep you alive, I don't want all that hard work to go to waste," Tovoth lowered his voice slightly, but there was a nagging note that didn't leave "Veem."
"I know. I just...Yeah, I know."
"Good. Never, ever do anything like that again."
"I won't," Veem curled in on himself and rolled over onto his other side, leaving Tovoth staring at his wings and shaking badly.
Tovoth turned, trying to force his hands to steady and found himself face to face with Trance.
She gave him a look of utter disgust and snagged him by the wrist.
He barely had time to register the touch before she had drug him out of the medical bay and started shouting at him.
"What was that!? What do you think you're doing!?"
He flared out his wings and stepped away from her, hands held up defensively "What are you talking about?"
"You should be thanking him! Not making him feel terrible for saving you."
"He could have died doing it, it was foolish."
"Foolish to save your life?"
"In that way? Yes."
She clenched one hand and thrust the other into his face "You'd rather be dead?"
"If the only alternative is Veem doing something utterly idiotic then yes."
She paused and stepped back from him, tilting her head and giving him a long, long stare.
"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
She shook her head lightly "I don't understand. Are you or aren't you friends with him?"
"Not really," he glanced sideways at her "Why? Did he say we were?"
"Not outright, but he implied it multiple times, oh and he risked angonizing death for you."
Tovoth gave a small helpless shrug "So...?"
"You can't talk to your friend like that!"
"I already said he's not my friend."
"And you were lying about that."
"Are you accusing me of lying?"
"Are you deaf? Yes. I am. Now go lay back down you're about to collapse."
Tovoth realized he was clutching the wall for support "Fine."
She turned and stomped off, leaving him to drag himself back into the medical bay.
Veem lifted his head when the doors slid open, but the look in his eyes turned dull and Tovoth knew he wasn't who Veem had hoped to see.
And for some reason that bothered Tovoth.
He stopped midway across the room and turned back towards Veem. It was difficult for him to admit, especially to himself, but maybe Trance was right.
Hands shaking worse than before and his whole body wracking with aches, he started towards Veem and with a whimper of effort, pulled himself up on the medical bed directly next to Veem.
"Hey."
"What?" Veem didn't lift his head back up or turn to look at Tovoth. But Tovoth was, really as everything began to sink in, amazed that Veem was able to do any of that at all. He had to be in so much pain.
"I..."
Tovoth realized he was shaking again. Or had he ever stopped? What was he doing, his head was empty for once and he didn't even have words. Not even a lie.
That would be too easy, wouldn't it. Lie again, twist and manipulate, that was second nature and as Tovoth realized it he felt disgusted with himself.
"Am...."
Teeth, this was hard.
"Sorry."
It felt like yanking his core out with a pair of blunt pliers.
Veem slowly managed to turn over and stare at him "For what?"
"For shouting."
For lying to you, for hurting you, for not trusting you.
"It's alright."
No it's not, no it's not, no it's not.
Tovoth didn't want an 'alright', it wasn't alright, he wanted forgiveness. Because he did something wrong. He didn't want Veem to just accept that.
"Thank you," Tovoth didn't mean to say it so quietly, but Veem heard him nonetheless.
"For what?"
"Saving me," Tovoth's voice grew a bit louder "You didn't have to do that. Both times."
"You saved me too. You didn't have to do that either," Veem tried to prop himself up on one elbow, but just the strain of trying to rise was too much and he fell back.
"No, don't, don't hurt yourself," Tovoth said quickly, waving his hands, gesturing for Veem to lie still "Please?"
"Okay. You should probably lay down again, your hands are shaking."
They were. He couldn't stop them, no matter how hard he tried.
"I will," Tovoth hesitated. He felt like he should say something else, but he also felt hollow. Those few words couldn't be it. He couldn't fix everything with just those.
Maybe not, but he really didn't have anything else at the moment, as the pain slowly but surely began to become unbearable.
"Okay, I will, you...rest okay?"
"Okay."
Tovoth closed his eyes and slumped down onto the bed feeling cold.