~*Broken*~ ||By WhiteWolfAmber|| Please tell me yo' thoughts

[.:Amber~]

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[.:Amber~]

I'm going to start writing chapter three anyways

[.:Amber~]

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[.:Amber~]

I DO NT RCCOMEND READING THIS CHAPTER IF COUGARS ARE YOUR FAVOURITE ANIMAL

Chapter Three ~ Survival isn't always easy

Once I had ran far enough, I stopped. At least all the running had warmed my body temperature up a bit. I. Reached deeply and I could hear my heart beating. A painful cramp in my side distracted me the most, so I sat down.

Suddenly, I heard a rustle. When I looked around, I saw some snow fall from a nearby tree. As quick as I could, I picked up my spear like stick and stood up. As soon as I stood, it was silent. Too silent. I didn't like it. Whatever was around, it must've scared everything off, so I began to suspect another person, or a large animal like a lynx or a coyote.

I began to feel a bit sick and my heart raced much faster. Silence always made it seem like something was wrong. That was when I heard it. The angry yowl of some kind of wild cat sounded around the area, followed by the thud of something collapsing onto the snow. With my spear poised towards the sound, I crept forwards. Once I was close to the sound, I hid behind a boulder.

As frightened as I was, I slowly peered over. A huge cougar was standing on top of a limp buck deer. I bet I cold eat that if I cooked it. I hadn't eaten anything ever since I caught those fish, and I probably have never eaten anything more than wild berries, nuts, small animals, and sometimes if I had to, the soft insides of pine bark.

The cougar then took a bite. I watched as the deers blood seeped down its fur, entrancing me. I can't believe I was this hungry, that I was going to measures like this. I knew that the only way to get something like that to eat, I would have to kill the big cat.

I then leaned back. Suddenly, a twig snapped under my right foot.

I was only able to stand still, paralyzed as my palms began to sweat for a few seconds when the cougar leapt up from the rocks. I moved the spear in front of my body as it leapt at me, and it embedded itself right into the cougars chest. The animal yowled in anger and hatred as I pulled the stick out. Blood gushed from the hole left in its body, but it refused to fall. It leapt right back up, but the stick missed. The animal "flew" right over my head and landed behind me. I staggered a bit and turned quickly to the side. Too quickly.

The stick flew right out of my hand and landed on a rock a few meters away. My heart sped up as the cougar leapt again. I fling myself to the side, but it's claws went straight into my arm. I gritted my teeth and tried to hold back any screams as the pain from the slash seared through my entire arm. I could feel the warm blood rush down my elbow and into my hands, then dripping down onto the snow.

The cougar licked the blood off of his long claws and lunged for me a second time. This time, I knew when to move, and he missed me by a hair. I reached for the spear and clutched it in my hand. This time, I hid it. With one eye, I watched as the big forest cat leapt at me. Once it was close enough, I whirled around and embedded the spear right into the big cats muzzle. Blood wildly gushed out of the big cats nose and mouth as it collapsed onto the ground. The animal sprawled around on the ground, blood spraying wildly onto the snow.

I hade done it, Ibhad defeated a wild animal in a battle for survival. After a few minutes, the big cat lay still, never to move again. I stared into its blank eyes and looked at its lips, which were still pulled back in a snarl. He animals claws were still unsheathed and it's fur stood on end. I decided to calm it down.

After the spear had been removed from the cougars nose, I closed its mouth to make it look like it had a very neutral face. I then rubbed it's fur back down, followed by a huge effort to push back it's claws.

Finally, I dragged it over to a tree. Once I had it curled up, it looked just like it was sleeping, well... If blood wasn't gushing from its chest face, it would have looked like it was PEACEFULLY sleeping.

I didn't like this.

I couldn't kill anymore. It hurt me too badly.

I slowly knelt down by the cougars limp body and rubbed its cheeks. My eyes welled up and I wasn't able to hold back any tears. They soon soaked my face and ran down my body, which was nearly numb. If it had been spring, and there wasn't three feet of snow on the ground, I would have buried it, but instead, I rubbed it's fur one last time and walked over to the deer.

I picked it up by its antlers and dragged it across the forest floor. It was pretty hard t carry, for I was very weak, and the deer was very heavy.

Gradually, a miricale happened. A huge redwood tree left a crevice in the bottom, leaving a small cave. I excitedly walked in, leaving the buck outside.

Within minutes, I had a small fire going, and had made a spit out of a long stick. (Just on case someone didn't know what a spit is, it's those long stick like things that you put over the fire and turn it as you roast something, it's usually pigs in cartoons) I then tore off the bucks fur and used a rock to smash of its hoof. I then took out the bone and slid the spit through the opening. I had actually found something good, I actually now had a chance.

[magnet]

Awesome sause!

[.:Amber~]

I love sauce :3

[rothbart.]

This is pretty good! :3

My only advice is to try to stray a little from using phrases/sentences that say "I did this", "I did that", "I feld this", and so on and so forth. It's a little bit repetative. Figuring out ways to show and not tell, or imply what had happened are the easiest ways to skim out a few "I" phrases.

Other than that, I think it's quite good! *bookmark'd*

[.:Amber~]

Chapter Four ~ What nightmares bring

Everything was black, then, there was a flash, like a strike of lightning, revealing two faces. They were both children, both my age. I only caught a glimpse of them, their bodies illuminated by a whitish green color, which was the same color as the odd flash. I looked around, wondering where they went. "Stay away from her." A voice rang out, it always a child's voice, maybe one of the people I had just seen. "You stay away from her, there will be consequences." "Stay away from who?!" I called out. "Just stay away!"

I looked down, greenish smoke swelled around me, it flashed like lightning. I then looked up, there they were. A boy, who was about my height stared at me, he was beside a girl, who had a greenish colored blanket, which was wrapped around everything below her stomach, nothing else. Her front body was pressed against the boys side, and he had one arm wrapped around her. The muscles in his chest, arms and stomach were large, I stepped back a few paces. My eyes were now focused on the girl. Her eyes sparkled a hazel color, which were the same as the boys. Her hair was brown, mostly straight, but maybe a few waves. The boys hair was dark brown, kind of short and straight.

"You don't touch this girl. Don't even go near her!" The boy said, his eyes met mine, and then the light faded away.

I opened my eyes, sweat was running down my entire body and I was pale. What did that dream mean? Those people are fake, why was he telling me to stay away from her? Was it some weird sign? I shook my head. I then remembered that I had stripped the deers pelt off and washed it in a nearby pond. As I shuddered from some wind that blew into the hole, I pulled the fur over my body. This must have been the first time in all two and a half winters that I felt warm.

I soon drifted off, I didn't have any dreams, but the boy calling out for me to stay away from that girl rang in my head the entire night, until my eyes darted open and I let out a short scream. Sweat had begun to drip down my body once again and I had grown paler. Before long, I had vomited up everything I ate earlier on.

My stomach still felt sick, and I threw up twice more that night. My inner throat burned and my stomach still felt funny, but I didnt retch up anything else.

By the next morning, I looked like the walking dead. Huge black rings had formed under my eyes, I looked like something made up of skin and bones, and my body was as pale as a ghost. Though it had Ben a really long time since my stomach had made a funny mood, I still felt really sick. That dream must've really messed me up.

After standing outside for a few minutes, my stomach flipped and I forced myself to sit down. I looked at my fire, which was now just a bunch of hot embers. I placed my hand on my forehead, which seemed to be burning. Great, it must be some kind of flu. I thought, dissapointed that I have never gotten really sick before in my life outdoors.

I then stood up again and walked back to that pond. I don't know how it isn't frozen over, it must be warming up a bit, just not enough to melt the snow yet. I then tore some moss from the bank and dunked it into the water. Once I arrived back "home" I lay down and pressed the wet moss against my forehead.

My stomach had eased now, but I didn't eat anything. My entire body still burned, but when I had padded only about half of it down with the moss, it was warm from all my sweat. The last thing I wanted to do is walk back to the pond, but I had to. Once the moss was wet again and I was back in my tree, O lay it on my forehead and fell back to sleep.

(Sorry Oakstar, I'm very bad with "I"'s and probably always will be

[.:Amber~]

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[.:Amber~]

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