Dear Noobcake by Xialburg (Updates Every Other Weekend)

[Al the Dalek]

Dear Noobcake,

AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JR IS IN PRISON.
Not kiddy prison either because otherwise I'd probably be in there with him. ...what?
I ADMIT NOTHING. NOTHING I SAY.
Smeg.
Okay. So he's in prison. What do I do.
I'd do what any responsible, caring brother would do.
I grabbed my super powerful fireworks kit that could probably blow a hole in the wall.
Yeah I'm going to break him out DUH.
There's only one jail in town so I knew where to look. Easy cheesy. Now all I have to do is steal a uniform and-
Woah.
Gothie's outside my window again.
STALKER.
Why would he stalk me?!
...maybe 'cuz I saved his life.
Dunno. Could be a possibility.
So I flew down with my fireworks and he shook his head. "Come on dude. I saw the news and your little fake-bro was on it. They think he's Noon. The way to go is NOT fireworks, kay, wingman? You've got to bail him out old school."
"What?" I said, dropping my fireworks behind a bush. "Come on! We have to pay money?! They think he's Noon!"
"No, idiot," said Gothie, baring his shark teeth. "We hotwire a car and ram it into the cell wall. Duh. Fireworks don't work on a prison."
I blinked. That was when I sighed. "I...well. We could just try to persuade the police wolves first."
Gothie growled. "You were the one that wanted to blow crap up."
"Well who doesn't?!"
"True. Very true. Let's go."
So off we went to prison. After arriving, I told Gothie to wait inside because he looked like the type that would help Noon. So I went inside, and after staring at the receptionist for about 5 minutes, she stopped filing her claws and looked up at me.
"Yes?"
"Yeah, hey!" I said. "Um. Wellllllll you know that baddie that got arrested? Noon?"
The receptionist rolled her eyes. "Of course I do. Went past with some guards earlier. He was trying to pull off some little kid act so they would let him go."
"Well," I said. "About that. He is. He is a little kid. His name's Greenbutt Jr.-" the wolf raised her eyebrows-"No it's true! Weird name long story. He's my little brother, well, I'm adopted so well anyway, he's my little brother and stuff and he's not a murderer."
The receptionist nodded, picking up a phone. After dialing a number, she whispered into it, and turned to me. "They're bringing him back."
Relieved at how quickly she believed me, I sat down in a chair. That was easy, and we didn't even have to blow crap up...but that WOULD have been awesome. Then two police wolves came up, without Jr. with them, and grabbed my front legs, wrenching me up.
"Hey! What are you doing?"
"You are suspected on helping the criminal Noon by trying to break him out," said the bigger one gruffly.
"Hey! Not cool," I said. "He IS my little brother!"
"Shut up!" snarled the smaller one. I was marched along some hallways and thrust into a cell. Jr. was huddled in a corner, sniffling. He saw me as the door closed and gave a wail, running up to me and giving me a hug.
I patted him on the head, trying to process the information in my head.
I had been arrested.
I was in prison.
CRAPDANGIT.

[Al the Dalek]

Two entries in one day?! El gasp! xD Also, the front page has been updated. Go read it for news and all that other junkedy junk. And now peeps...the entry *bows as curtain rises*

Dear Noobcake,

Prison food sucks.
Being in prison sucks.
Being in prison with Jr. sucks.
LIFE SUCKS RIGHT NOW CAN YOU TELL?!
I don't know how it can get much worse.
Wooooah what was that???
There was like a shudder through the whole building, and I swear I heard bricks breaking.
I don't know what's going on, just some of the inmates are going nutso. It's scary.
I'm scared.
I'm honestly scared.
I think Jr.'s worse than me though. He's shivering and he keeps crying.
That's when I look at my watch.
4:45. Dang it. Get arrested AND miss my date?
LAME.
Someone's coming down the hallway, and they're marching along...
Gothie. And Purna.
...they look like they hit a brick wall in a car-
ooooh. Yeah. That plan we had before my "persuade the police". Hahahaha.
I'm not really laughing.
They shoved Purna and Gothie in...and Purna promptly attacked me.
"YOU IDIOT YOU GOT ME PUT IN PRISON AND YOU'RE GONNA OWE ME BIG AND if I ever WENT to prison I would want to go for it for like not paying my tickets! NOT HELPING NOON!" he shrieked.
"AGGGGGHHFFHFHFHPPPFFFGGH!" ...that was me. I got some fur in my mouth because I bit Purna's ear to make him shut up.
"Owowowowoowwww Okay I'm done," he whimpered.
Jr. was in the corner still, his horrified eyes on Gothie. Oh yeaaaaaah. He's kind of traumatized by Gothie still.
"This is a good stuffed anim-"
"Axon plushie," he whispered.
"Action plushie. This is a different model and he's a good guy, okay?"
Jr. sniffed. "Okay."
Why is it the only time he's cute is when he's sad?! Not cool. You may say he's cute when he's sleeping, but he growls and drools and gets crazy ears when he sleeps. It's kind of gross when he starts flinging his head around and the drool goes...anyway.
I looked at Gothie. "Wingman, I messed up. Turns out this cell was on completely the other side of where we crashed. Oh. Annnnnd. We ruined a Ferrari," he said.
"YOU DID WHAT?!" I said. Not a Ferrari oh my GOSH-
"Ha ha, messing with you. It was one of those old cars that go about 2 miles a gallon. So it's cool."
"Oh okay...um...I am late...for a date..."
Gothie perked up his ears. "Dude! Start yelling about that! Then someone will come near and you can persuade them to get out of here!"
"Cool...um...HEY. POLICE PEOPLE. HEYYYYY. HEEEEEEY! I AM IN A CELL AND YOU BETTER LET ME OUT BECAUSE I AM GOING OUT ON A DATE WITH A PRETTY GIRL...not as pretty as Beauty but I DON'T WANT TO BE LATE," I bellowed.
A police wolf came up. She raised an eyebrow.
"HEY! Oh you're right there. Um. Officer. Could you-"
"Stop it right there criminal. I'm officer Raya, and I'm in charge of this block and-" She narrowed her eyes. She looked at Gothie. "Aren't you the hooligan that's going out with my daughter?"
My mouth dropped open. "You're HEIDI's mom?!"
She nodded. "Yes. I am. Why are you in here?"
"Because, they think that my little brother is Noon and Gothie and my brother are trying to break us out," I said.
She looked at Jr. "He looks like Noon, but I know Gothie, and he isn't the type to help a murder. Maybe a theft, but not a murder. What's your "brother's" name?"
I gave a sigh of relief. "Greenbutt Jr. Don't ask. Check the records. He exists."
She went to check.
I hope this works.

[The Owl]

Friendly bump ^^
I has a question, would it be okay if I did something like this, a kind of diary for my Cs pets? I just want to get your permission before doing it.

[Al the Dalek]

Hey, you don't need my permission to do it. I got this idea from someone else!!!

BTW my loyal fans, I am ooooober sorry for the long gap in posting. I am at a friend's house, bllahaaaaaaahahahahahaha! So I don't want to make her wait and blaaaaah.

I am bored. I will update as soon as I get home!!!

Xialburg loves you all...well I SAY he does.

[Al the Dalek]

I AM BACK YAY. Here is the next entry...

Dear Noobcake,

Waiting in prison sucks. I mean THE SUSPENSE.
It is cold
It is miserable
It is lacking proper punctuation at the end of my sentences...
I used a big word! ...okay that was weak...
So me and Gothie started paw wrestling and Purna started poking Jr. in the belly in an attempt to make him giggle.
I lost the paw wrestling match.
Jr. didn't laugh-he cried.
Officer Raya came back a little while later.
THANK GOODNESS.
She was carrying a ring with keys on them and a paper document. She held it up.
"He actually checks out. There is a little wolf with that exact name," she said. She squinted down at the paper. "Huh. That is his real name...anyway. Now that the initial shock of "finding" Noon is over, we were going to give him a once over test to make sure it was him." She unlocked the door, and stepped inside, advancing towards Jr.
Jr. whimpered, but she held up a lollipop and his mouth opened at once to receive the delicious. While he was waiting impatiently for his snack, Raya took a quick glance at his teeth. She sighed.
"Definitely new teeth. Wolves with Peter Pan Syndrome may look like puppies, but their teeth show the wear and tear of a lifetime. These are new teeth, puppy teeth. You're all free to go."
We went to the open cell door and filed out, but Raya blocked Gothie from exiting. "Stop right there. Even if your intentions were good, you still committed a crime by driving that car into the prison."
I looked at Gothie, as Jr. attempted to hide behind me. Gothie gave Raya what must have been an apologetic grin, but it still looked like a hungry shark to me.
"Well, the person who owned it wouldn't miss it much anyway. Piece of junk, and I did fill up the gas before I drove it through."
"You made it explode," said Raya dryly. "The extra gas combusted."
"Combusted?" I said. "That sounds like an awesome type of blowy-uppy lingo! Was there a mushroom clou-"
Gothie cut me off, obviously not paying attention to me.
Jerk.
"It looked like a student's car. Cheap, non-expensive. I've been saving up my dough, and I can pay for it."
That was when Heidi, twirling yet another lollipop in her mouth, walked up.
I bet the receptionist has some.
I want some.
"Hey Mom," she said in a very irritated sort of tone as her eyes roved across us all. "Was there a prison break? Because my car is in the jail wall and it's pretty totaled AND I can't find the jerks who did it."
I glanced at Gothie, who was looking appalled. Slowly Jr. raised his paw and pointed at Gothie.
"Axon Plushie made sumfing go Boom! Then he got 'rested like me!"
The phrase if looks could kill had nothing on the death glare Heidi inflicted on her boyfriend.
HOW DOES GOTHIE GET A GIRLFRIEND.
Anyway. Pretty busy. Bye.
...you should have seen the look on his face!!!!
...seriously bye now.
Seriously.
Bye.

[Al the Dalek]

Dear Noobcake,

Well, everything turned out okay. They ran another story on the news saying that it was not in fact Noon, but a real puppy. The reporter kept cracking up whenever she had to say his name.
Gothie got slapped multiple times by Heidi, but they're still together, but Gothie does owe her a new car. And he has to do community service.
School's almost out, and ABC took our journal things in to be graded, which is why I haven't written in so long. I actually got an A.
FIRST A I HAVE EVER GOTTEN YES!
I got the highest grade apparently because mine was so freaking long. But...there's bad news...
Why is there always bad news?!
Apparently ABC is moving up with the grade, so we have to have her NEXT year!
AND GUESS WHAT SHE IS MAKING US DO FOR SUMMER HOMEWORK?!
Write in these.
Again.
During the summer.
Gaaaaaaaack.
I actually did get to go on a date with Sashay. She wasn't angry about me missing our first one, she actually thought it was a pretty cool thing. It takes forever for her to get ready though, she puts so much makeup on.
Since you are a total noobcake, I'll explain.
YES we have makeup.
NO skin products. Just some fur-shiny stuff, lash stuff, and all the stuff. I don't know it all, because I'm not a girl.
I am Xialburg so I want to write some extra stuff and I am secretly hiding my collection of dolls under my bed and I'm really mean to my totally awesome younger brother Purna, and I feel really bad about being all mean and getting him into jail and stuff so I'm going to give him my laptop and music things and pretty much everything that I own an
Okay. I leave to go get a snack and I find Purna writing all over my journal thing! AGH! Stupid he used permanent ink.
Jerk.
Anyway, can you get the nerve of this guy Emrr?! I mean, he asked me and Sashay on a double date with him and Beauty?! Can you imagine the awkward?!
I am going to pull a Gothie and kill him in his sleep.
Okay, okay joke. I wouldn't really do that.
Much.
But of COURSE Sashay did the eye thing that makes me melt, so we're going to a restaurant together. Aggggh.
See ya Noobcake.

[neonfrozen]

OMG! Double Date! *Screams in delight* Beauty-Emr and Xialbeg-Shashay! Woo woo!

[Al the Dalek]

I just edited a rule-type thing...the first rule.

[Wild Mothman]

Lol
Noobcake

I loves this
don't stop it's getting good!!!!!

[Al the Dalek]

Hello everyone! Sorry entries have been so slow lately! End of summer for me= tons of trips. Anyway, I'm happy for all the positive responses and when I was out googling I found a picture of a cake and it said noobcake! I spazzed and made a banner with it leading to here! It's on the front page, and in my signature if you want to put it on yours too to spread the word. Thank you for your patience, and here's the next entry!

Dear Noobcake,

School got out today. I was really excited for the slip-and-slide they said they were going to set up for us, but no.
The slip-and-slid was just a TARP and they were spraying water on it! Not like the cool ones in the stores.
Dangit.
We had a barbecue too, which was pretty sweet. Me and Sashay hung around the whole time and she chattered on for a long time. Pretty easy all I had to do was listen about 30 seconds of the time and I'd understand at least 3 minutes of the conversation.
We had bounce houses, which were pretty lame. I mean-really? We're high schoolers. We don't need BOUNCE HOUSES.
They had to shut down the bounce houses because Gothie went really high and landed head first, and punctured it with one of those shark teeth.
It was pretty hilarious.
So anyway.
The double date was today, and I'll have you know I got freaked out when I learned it was a nicer place.
I HAD TO WEAR A TUX.
I look ugly in a tux.
Plus, there was the PRICE.
I had to break out my entire savings in case Sashay ordered the smallest thing on the menu!
Okay, the food was pretty good.
It was quiet the first ten minutes, and then Sashay pointed out I had a little blot on my tux.
I totally freaked out...which started everyone laughing...
Shame...shame...so much shame...
We started talking. I kept glancing over at Beauty but she never looked at me. After a while, I realized SHE MUST be avoiding my eye.
The waiters, we totally made fun of. Okay, kind of mean, but they were those uptight, poker-straight waiters in suits and gloves and they were totally hilarious.
...well...me and Emrr made fun of.
I have got to admit, if he was not going out with Beauty we could have been great friends.
Sashay and Beauty kept poking us every time we cracked a joke.
The food...was so...good...have I mentioned that?
And the dessert...ooohhhhhh yummmmmmmyyyyy.
Anyway, the restaurant was a distance away from any of our houses. We had to drive an hour to get here, but it was worth it.
Until, you know, we started driving back and our car...um
Broke down.
It was dark.
Cold.
SCARY.
Sashay and I looked at each other, and then we both yelled,
"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"