Unchangeable Actions - Seventh Book In The TIAJNAD 2 Series

[star star.]

Wait, how is that a book? That's like a page and a half I think?

she DID have some awful long entries

[Draikinator]

Wait, how is that a book? That's like a page and a half I think?

she DID have some awful long entries

Well, I mean, yeah, but this entry was not?
That was like
a page
and it's all dialogue
that's not a book
that's not even a chapter

[• DEFY THE CAPITOL •]

AWESOME ENTRY LOVE IT CAN'T WAIT TILL BOOK 8!!!!!!!

Thanks!

Ooh, I really am looking forward to book 8.
Keep up the good work JF.

Thanks, Shadow!

OHMEHGOSH!!!!!!!!

DARN YOU DQ!!

lol

AWESOME!!

Thanks!

Wait, how is that a book? That's like a page and a half I think?

Uh... no. It's 20 pages in my WordPerfect program.

Wait, how is that a book? That's like a page and a half I think?

she DID have some awful long entries

Yes, true. It may look like it only has a few pages on this thread, but it actually is quite long in my program.

Wait, how is that a book? That's like a page and a half I think?

she DID have some awful long entries

Well, I mean, yeah, but this entry was not?
That was like
a page
and it's all dialogue
that's not a book
that's not even a chapter

Uh... I think you're confused. It doesn't matter how long a chapter is (ever read James Patterson?). And it's not all dialogue. There's a lot of action in there. And you see how this thread says "Seventh book"? Well, that means every entry in this thread is practically a chapter. Every entry in this book is NOT a book itself. And, as I said before, it doesn't matter how long chapters are. Heck, it doesn't even matter how big the book is. What matters is if the readers like it and keep on reading.

[Rebel Faery]

I liked it JF! Sorry I wasn't on yesterday or the day before, my parents are doing a bit of a 'spring clean'. Actually, it's more of a spring renovation. They've swapped the living room and dining rooms over, tidied every room, and are planning to build a wall, so the internet was down for a couple of hours, my computer was unplugged and put in a separate room, and I don't like using the one downstairs (it makes me feel like I'm being spied on...) ANYWAY!
Jenette is awesome again! I mean, she has her butt-kickiness and sarcasm back! Wait a sec... spellcheck says butt-kickiness is a real word. Uhh... is it?

[Chrissy]

I know you like writing, JF, but let me give you a little bit of advice.

Don't publish another book; you had multiple spelling errors in it. If you can't take the time to proofread, then don't publish it. I read a little bit of your first book, and I have to admit I did not enjoy it at all. There is no reason as to why her sister dies, or any form of emotional trauma that a young girl (for the sake of the argument I'm going to treat them like human beings) could go through. The mother would clearly be distraught; heck, she'd probably stop her from going to school.

Secret agents? Sisters? None of it makes any sense.

Next time, I suggest making an outline of the plot for yourself and working a little bit more on descriptions. Let me quote something you wrote,

After school I ran over to Suzi's house. I knocked on the front door. No reply. I rang the doorbell. No reply. I finally just climbed in threw the open window and walked around. her house was pitch-black. I tried turning on a light switch, but not lights turned on. Luckily, I always kept a flash-light in my backpack, so I turned the flash-light on and looked around. I didn't hear anything in the house. I walked up the stairs of Suzi's house and saw a girl's room. Suzi's room. I went inside Suzi's room and I saw girl's stuff in it. There was a shuffling in the corner, and I looked there. And guess who was there? Suzi was huddled up in the corner. She was tied up, though. She had a piece of cloth over her mouth so she couldn't speak, and her hands and feet where tied. She also had a piece of cloth tied around her eyes so she couldn't see. I ran over to her and tried to touch her, but she only kicked me with her two feet that where tied together.

As a sense of urgency, you could add more descriptive words.

After school I rushed over to Suzi's house. I frantically knocked on the front door. No reply. I rang the doorbell. No reply. Finally, I just climbed in through the open window and walked around. Her house was pitch-black. I tried turning on a light, but no lights turned on. Luckily, I always kept a flash-light in my backpack, so I turned the flash-light on and glanced around. I didn't hear anything in the house. I walked up the stairs of her house and saw a girl's room. Suzi's room. It had to be. I went inside the room and I saw girl's stuff in it. Definitely hers. There was a shuffling in the corner, and I looked over. Guess who was there? Suzi. She was huddled up in the corner, tied up. There was a piece of cloth over her mouth, rendering her speechless. Her paws were tied. She also had a piece of cloth tied around her eyes so she couldn't see. I rushed over to her and tried to touch her, but she only kicked me with her two feet that were tied together.

Little things like that can really make your writing pop out. c:

[Nonexsitent]

Different people have different tastes and JF's writing has improved since then, plus you can't tell her not to publish another book since other people enjoy her writing.
The advice is good and I'm not starting a fight. I can guarantee that you may have more experience in the writing field and are actually just trying to help.
But if you don't like the way she writes simply give her the advice and encourage her to improve instead of telling her to stop publishing, this can do errors on one's self esteem.
Yes, you have an entitled opinion but you can tell her to keep on improving. Therefore she will still feel the need to continue in something she loves instead of giving up, which none of her stalkerwans actually want her to do.
If you've read this, thank you for taking time and I am not trying to start on you, I'm simply being there for a friend and I put this in the nicest way I could.
Thank you. :3

[• DEFY THE CAPITOL •]

I know you like writing, JF, but let me give you a little bit of advice.

Don't publish another book; you had multiple spelling errors in it. If you can't take the time to proofread, then don't publish it. I read a little bit of your first book, and I have to admit I did not enjoy it at all. There is no reason as to why her sister dies, or any form of emotional trauma that a young girl (for the sake of the argument I'm going to treat them like human beings) could go through. The mother would clearly be distraught; heck, she'd probably stop her from going to school.

Secret agents? Sisters? None of it makes any sense.

Next time, I suggest making an outline of the plot for yourself and working a little bit more on descriptions. Let me quote something you wrote,

After school I ran over to Suzi's house. I knocked on the front door. No reply. I rang the doorbell. No reply. I finally just climbed in threw the open window and walked around. her house was pitch-black. I tried turning on a light switch, but not lights turned on. Luckily, I always kept a flash-light in my backpack, so I turned the flash-light on and looked around. I didn't hear anything in the house. I walked up the stairs of Suzi's house and saw a girl's room. Suzi's room. I went inside Suzi's room and I saw girl's stuff in it. There was a shuffling in the corner, and I looked there. And guess who was there? Suzi was huddled up in the corner. She was tied up, though. She had a piece of cloth over her mouth so she couldn't speak, and her hands and feet where tied. She also had a piece of cloth tied around her eyes so she couldn't see. I ran over to her and tried to touch her, but she only kicked me with her two feet that where tied together.

As a sense of urgency, you could add more descriptive words.

After school I rushed over to Suzi's house. I frantically knocked on the front door. No reply. I rang the doorbell. No reply. Finally, I just climbed in through the open window and walked around. Her house was pitch-black. I tried turning on a light, but no lights turned on. Luckily, I always kept a flash-light in my backpack, so I turned the flash-light on and glanced around. I didn't hear anything in the house. I walked up the stairs of her house and saw a girl's room. Suzi's room. It had to be. I went inside the room and I saw girl's stuff in it. Definitely hers. There was a shuffling in the corner, and I looked over. Guess who was there? Suzi. She was huddled up in the corner, tied up. There was a piece of cloth over her mouth, rendering her speechless. Her paws were tied. She also had a piece of cloth tied around her eyes so she couldn't see. I rushed over to her and tried to touch her, but she only kicked me with her two feet that were tied together.

Little things like that can really make your writing pop out. c:

Thanks so much for giving me advice (and for being nice about it). I know the last book had a TON of spelling errors, because I only had about 3 days to publish it. And there was quite a few confusing things in there (I realized that after I published it). And I'm trying to improve my writing and grammar. If I ever do publish another story, I'm going to proofread it multiple times and then have somebody else proofread it (because frequently you skip over mistakes and somebody else can find them). Thanks so much again for the advice; I really appreciate it!

[TPDebate]

DQ has new powers.

[Rebel Faery]

Book eight?

[• DEFY THE CAPITOL •]

Eighth book is out!