Our Aspiring Writers League (O.A.W.L)

[Lasesi]

@ Zirk - accepted and WELCOME!

I am Lassie - the crazy mini-mod of wonder Welcome to our thread!

[Chef Kitty]

HEY! LISTEN!
(teehee Navi^)

So yesterday we were watching a stupid video in science and I had an idea for a new story. It's sci-fi, but not all in space and stuff.

It's set in a time far in the future when scientists have completely figured out how the human brain works, so much so that they could create a working robotic brain with emotions, personality, and a free will - but they are afraid to make one. Meanwhile, there's this genius boy with cancer (or some other disease, maybe one centered in the brain but doesn't affect knowledge/thoughts, but just kills him) that he knows he will die from.
So, he researches and builds himself a brain. In the new brain he enhances some of his favorite personality traits, tones down some less lovable ones, and gets rid of some entirely.
(I don't know how I should have him get the brain into his head. Maybe he could ask his doctor or something. I don't know.)
Well, anyhow, he becomes a completely new person with his new personality, and his old friends don't like him anymore. For example, he used to be funny, but now he can make anything a joke, some of which really are funny, but others hurt his friends' feelings. He lost all of his quirky personality that made him what he was.
So, in the end, the moral of the story is to love yourself for who you are, and not try to change anything.
Oh, and I would have it be called "Metal Mind"
TADAAA!

[Vur Horston]

((Um am I accepted ?)

[MBRShorse]

Destiny, yes! Sorry for the wait! I thought someone had already accepted you. Whoops!

[MBRShorse]

Okay, quick update:

I have reached the maximum character limit on the Member's post, so I am going to have to get rid of the text boxes and provide links to the forms.

[Vur Horston]

((Yay! xD))

I need some help with my necromancer...he needs a name!!!! Here is where he appears...and sorry for grammer and other mistakes in this peice. I am still editing it.

A lone man stood in the center of a ruined graveyard, his head thrown back, and his arms outstretched. Each foot rested on a fallen gravestone, cracked and crumbling below his perfectly polished shoes. The man stood so still, that if the wind had not fluttered the ends of his black hair he would seem a statue, placed just so in the silent cemetery to watch over the long dead. Even his old fashioned clothing, smooth and without wrinkles made him look ever more so like a statue. His black suit covered his tall, lean frame and made his pale skin stand out ghost like. Each of his fingers were crooked, pointing to the ground, their nails painted silver that glowed in the faint moonlight that shone from behind the clouds.
Around the man the old graveyard lay in crumbling ruin. Most of the headstones had fallen long ago and some had even crumbled into dust, only small pieces of granite left to mark that they had ever existed. Tall waving grass flowed about the graveyard, swaying to and fro in the gentle breeze. The blades closest to the lone man in the graveyard seemed to lean towards him, as if yearning to reach out and touch him. Pathways that had been once so carefully tended and cleaned were now covered in fallen stones, branches and leaves. Mice scrambled over the pathways, and snakes followed their tracks.
For a whole hour the man remained motionless, each minute that passed made him look more and more like a marble statue, carefully carved and cleaned. He stood quite out of place in the fallen graveyard, to perfect and clean. At last the man lowered his head. Opening his eyes he looked straight ahead without blinking, his eyes were pure white with no pupil. Bending over he picked up his dusty top hat, and shook the dust from it with a disdained air. Wiping a finger across the brim of the hat, the man brought his dusty finger to his nose and sniffed, the sound eerily loud in the silence. "Good," the man said. His voice hissing and cold, echoing off the trees. The one word seemed to suck the life out of the air around him.
Closing his eyes once again, the man placed the top hat on his head, and right as he did so two strands of hair fell into his eyes, the strands of his black hair had been dyed blood red. Irritated the man brushed them away and settled the top hat on his head. Parting his death white lips the man licked his lips to wet them, and his tongue was pure black and rotten. "Let us begin," he hissed and began to chant. Each word was hardly more then a hiss, and it was impossible to understand what was being said. As the chant went on, the words melded together into one, horrible sound. It was a hiss, a whisper of death and decay, the promise of pain and fear. The animals of the graveyard stopped where they stood, and as one began to shiver in dread.
Below the man's feet the headstones moved, the pieces that had fallen from them coming back together with a soft thud and a cloud of dust. Taking no notice the man kept chanting, his voice growing louder and more forceful. All around him, headstones were coming together and standing up as if they had just been placed. The graves cleared of grass and leaves. A wave of power went through the graveyard and when it touched the quivering animals they shook violently and fell to the ground dead. All the grass turned brown, and the few wildflowers wilted.
When the man quieted his voice and opened his eyes, the graveyard had been repaired. Every crypt and grave returned to its former glory. The man uttered a sharp barking command, in the same language and all the dirt flew from the graves. In a nearby tree a flock of songbirds fell from their tree and landed on the ground dead.
And as one, the coffin lids flew open and something within each of them stirred.

[Crabbiey]

@Lasesi - I have an idea! How about your C and A characters do not get along at all, B more or less has to keep things calm. Then they end up in an incident where B is seperated from them and they're about to die and one of them has a choice - leave A or C there to die or help them. A or C could be hanging from a cliff and about to fall or something. This would test their loyalties and could add the perfect twist if they betray A/C by leaving them to die. Or at least you make out they die then they survive and come back! It would also reveal their true feelings for A/C.

@YourDestiny - What's his personality like? You can always pick a name reflecting his personality (I do this a lot). You could call him Thanatos which simply means Death, plus it's the name of the Greek god of Death! Of course you could go form something completely ironic that means something to do with life.

I have a question so I know how to start my book. I've just got some feedback on the plot and it's seriously helped to make the plot more interesting and solid (I now have two twists I'm very pleased with!). The person suggested starting the book a chapter or so before the first incident. So my question is this: do you prefer books starting straight in at the action, or do you like a few chapters prior to set the scene before the first incident?

[Vur Horston]

@YourDestiny - What's his personality like? You can always pick a name reflecting his personality (I do this a lot). You could call him Thanatos which simply means Death, plus it's the name of the Greek god of Death! Of course you could go form something completely ironic that means something to do with life.

I have a question so I know how to start my book. I've just got some feedback on the plot and it's seriously helped to make the plot more interesting and solid (I now have two twists I'm very pleased with!). The person suggested starting the book a chapter or so before the first incident. So my question is this: do you prefer books starting straight in at the action, or do you like a few chapters prior to set the scene before the first incident?

Well his personality...hm. He is cold, has no caring for living things. He has no sense of humor at all. He is the main villans right hand man, and he is very very evil. And your name is PERFECT 0.o Thanatos. I like it

And for your question, it just depends on the book. Most stories I do like that because it gives me an idea of some of the background. So if it feels right to you, go for it! It would probably make the story more interesting. Oh, and if you don't mind me asking what is the plot?

[MoonheartTheWarrior]

Okay, quick update:

I have reached the maximum character limit on the Member's post, so I am going to have to get rid of the text boxes and provide links to the forms.

There's a maximum character limit for posts? I thought there was only one for signatures...

I have a plot idea that I'm probably not going to use, but I'll post it here after I get a drink or get rid of my hiccups some how :33

[Vur Horston]

Okay, quick update:

I have reached the maximum character limit on the Member's post, so I am going to have to get rid of the text boxes and provide links to the forms.

There's a maximum character limit for posts? I thought there was only one for signatures...

I have a plot idea that I'm probably not going to use, but I'll post it here after I get a drink or get rid of my hiccups some how :33

Wow! I didn't know there was a limit either. 0.o
I am working on an new plot right now, trying to flesh out characters (thanks for the name!) So far its going ok. I just need to decide if its in third person or first.