So this is life -Poetry of sorts

[KCADO]

UCVU

I've been searching for
answers in the
Deep Places;
holding my pencil with
my unstrustworthy fingers and
trying to Get It Out
but
I Don't Think It's Working.
My heart still beats all wrong
and my hands still shake
I need you now, more than ever:
What a time to suddenly gain the
Power of Invisibility.

I've been using others' words
to describe the wasteland
I have become
and the Deep Places
are becoming deeper
than I care to swim.
I begin to imagine
that
perhaps the Answers
I've been searching for are
Unspecified and Childlike,
Volatile and Unwieldy.
Perhaps it would be better
to
fly?
-KeepCalmAndDrarryOn

[KCADO]

Gilt

I called you Golden once, but
I see now that it was just the light;
the way it shone over you and
Through you,
hiding the patches where you
started to break out of your
Luminescent mask.
I said that everywhere I thought of you was
Golden,
But now whenever I picture your face,
I can only see the
GILT
written overpoweringly in your
nervous smile,
and it hits me like a
Ten
Ton
Train
that of course you aren't Golden,
and that I
Should Have Seen It Sooner,
but damn it,
I really wanted to believe in you.
-KeepCalmAndDrarryOn

[KCADO]

Colourless

I remember you
And you were Golden
With a capital G,
A soft, warm,
Comforting
Light.
Now I look at you,
And you are golden,
Bright and glinting,
Almost a little too
Harsh;
Uncaring;
Oblivious.
It's not your fault,
It's just that my
Eyes
Were oceans of muting, muffling
Blue and green and Gold,
But now they have
Adjusted to
Your light, and
The water's edge has retreated to the
Dull
Grey
Safety of my mind,
So now all I can see is
Sadness and
The absence of colour.
I'm sorry
For my
Eyes.
-KeepCalmAndDrarryOn

[KCADO]

Underneath

I thought that I had finally found myself
Underneath all of these pieces of you
But I think now that it was just
That I Was Just
Another fragment
One that spoke my words
Thought my thoughts
Even cried my tears
But one that was still
In the centre of all that it was
That I Was
You
-KeepCalmAndDrarryOn

[KCADO]

Untitled!!

I have no memories of you.
I know your smile,
I know the colour of your eyes,
The colour of your hair,
The way it falls when it's brushed the wrong way,
All of your blemishes and imperfections;
But
I can't remember it.
I know your face when I see it in photographs.
I could pick you out of a crowd
Before my heart had time to beat.
I have no memories of you.
I know you!!
This is Imperative to understand.
I know you.
-KeepCalmAndDrarryOn

[KCADO]

Nothing at all

My heart is heavy
For it has slowed of late
The beats are long and resonant
Pushing through my veins
And filling my chest
And my stomach
With a numbing blackness
It swallows all emotion
Leaving me lonely
Formless
An empty husk
Curled into myself
No tears left

You are the light
Golden
That reaches out
And envelopes me
And suddenly I feel
Everything
And I want to laugh
And cry
And scream
And jump for joy
All at the same time

It's exhausting
But I would rather feel everything
Than nothing at all
-KeepCalmAndDrarryOn

[KCADO]

WHEN THUNDER BREAKS

There is a Creature
hiding inside of me.
I cannot get it out,
no matter how much I
Scratch at the surface of my skin.
It is tiny and
Insignificant, and
most of the time I do not feel it.
But sometimes,
in the moments when the world around me
Splinters, and everything is
Noise in huge
Lightning blasts,
I Feel It.
Like an infection that has taken root
deep in my hands
and in my heart.
(I Do Not Want It.)
-KeepCalmAndDrarryOn

[KCADO]

World Eater

there is a scratching
in my chest;
nails down the
Blackboard Bone
over my heart.
it grips and constricts
and the skin tightens
and I Cannot Breathe
and there is Black Static
in my hands
and the world shakes.
-KeepCalmAndDrarryOn