Diary of The Planet's Future Ruler (Coolpaw5 & Xura)

[Coolpaw5]

Hey.

They say when you live with a person long enough, you begin to hate them. I think. At least, that's what people told me.

I found this saying to be very true when living with someone like Charlotte.

She may have her few moments of being actually helpful, but all of her misfortunes greatly outweigh her fortunes. And since her birthday is coming up, my gift to her is a list of all of her insufferable flaws:

1. You snore way too loud. I know you can't control it, but seriously, I had one too many dreams of running away from an erupting volcano. Why did you place our beds so close together?

2. You are way too nosy. I'm not sure if you remember, Charlotte, but about two weeks ago, I was on my Pawblr account, looking through my feed. As you tried to 'sneak' behind me (I use the term very loosely here). Oh, that should be another flaw.

4. You are a horrible sneak-er. Heh, sneaker. Like the shoe, ANYWAY, you tried to sneak behind me, and I could clearly hear you walking there. So, way too nosy. Since I noticed you were looking, I opened a new tab. You hmphed and walked off. Haha, nice try.

5. You sleep in too much. I'm not one of those fitness-freaks who wake up at 7 every morning and sleep at 9 every night, but you don't have to sleep in until 2 in the afternoon. Remember the snoring thing?

6. You have a weird obsession with this thing called Nutella? I've never tried it in my life, and you will seem as if you will die if you give me any of yours, so I am calling it an odd obsession.

7. You have horrible hearing. When I yell at you to pick up your stupid yoga mats and other weird exercise items strewn all over the floor, you somehow "can't" hear me because you were "doing" something else even though our dorm is smaller than a walnut.

8. You have great hearing. Whenever I curse under my breath, you just appear out of thin air, holding the Swear-Jar in your hands, demanding I put in a dollar.

9. You have a bad memory. No matter how many times I tell you that I don't want pickles on my cheeseburger, you always somehow forget this important fact, ruining my burger.

10. Your idea of a 'fun time' is going out with your friends to the mall. Okay, I get it, like once in a while, but not every single day! Don't you guys have abandoned buildings or haunted warehouses to hang out at?

So, uh, yeah... Happy birthday.

No, I'm not really giving it to her on her birthday because, it's her birthday. The one excusable day where she can act like an idiot.

I'll give the list another day. Charlotte invited me to her birthday party which was being held at our dorm. Yeah, I hope I'm invited to my own dorm! Our clean little dorm is going to be filled with loud heroes for. The. Entire. Day.

And because of our stupid agreement, I have to pretend to be one.

I'm glad I'm writing this down so when my birthday comes up, I'll throw a huge party and invite all the villains. See how she likes it.

Charlotte said that I have to stop trying to look so evil, and to instead, dress like I'm bringing hope to the world. Oh yeah, I'll just grab my 'Hope-To-The-World' outfit in my closet; I've been dying to wear it. Honestly, who does she think I am?

Charlotte: Vanessa!
Me: What?
Charlotte: I have a deal to propose--
Me: No thanks.

Charlotte: I didn't even say what it was going to be! I could've said something like, "For your... Teddy bear, I shall allow you to copy all of my homework for the rest of the year!"
Me: As if. All you heroes are obsessed with fairness.
Charlotte: Whatever. Anyway, you need to buy new clothes for my birthday.
Me: **groan** Charlotte--
Charlotte: Yeah, I know, you're really into your whole "My-Heart-Is-Complete-Darkness" look, but you really need to have something else if you want to blend in at my party.

Me: What are you going to offer for me to get new clothes?
Charlotte: Well...

She looked really nervous.

Charlotte: I've been thinking we could get a kitten.
Me: Really?!

I've been wanting a pet for so long, but because of the stupid school regulations and Ms. GoodyTwoShoes over here, I can't get anything. I've been pestering her about getting a kitten because it doesn't even need to be walked outside, but she kept saying no.

Charlotte: Yeah.
Me: Well, okay, great! Deal!
Charlotte: Yay! I would say go shopping today, but I know you have prior commitments. **wink wink nudge nudge**
Me: What?
Charlotte: You know... Meeting a certain somebody at fiveeee?
Me: I honestly have no idea what you are talking about.
Charlotte: UGH, Alex is coming to pick you up, remember?
Me: Oh yeah. It's only 4:30 now.
Charlotte: You still have to get ready!
Me: Why? Is there something wrong with what I'm wearing or something?
Charlotte: Not really... It's more your...

She gestured around me.

Charlotte: You, basically.
Me: So there's something wrong with me.
Charlotte: Not like that, just, your aura.
Me: My aura. Are you some sort of expert aura reader all of a sudden?
Charlotte: I'm just saying it wouldn't kill you to smile more.

Me: **smiles** Agh, oh no! I'm dyingggg!
Charlotte: Oh shut up.
Me: AGhhhhh **falls to the ground** I-, I-, don't have much time left.
Charlotte: You're such a dork.
Me: You should know that **cough** this is all your fault.
Charlotte: My fault?

Me: Yah
Charlotte: Because I told you to smile?
Me: ACkkkkk x.x
Charlotte: What are you doing?
Me: I'm dead.
Charlotte: **laughs**

I smiled and let her help me up.

Charlotte: But seriously. Alex seems like a nice guy so I don't want you breaking his heart.
Me: He should get a stronger heart then.
Charlotte: Vanessa...
Me: Fine, fine, whatever.
Charlotte: Great!

We were watching a movie when the doorbell rang.

Charlotte went ahead and opened the door before I could reach it.

Charlotte: Hey Alex!
Alex: Hello Charlotte!

They met in one of their other classes, I think. I don't know, I don't really care.

Me: Hey Alex.
Alex: Hi Vanessa! So are you ready to go?
Me: Yeah, sure. Let's just go.

As we left, Charlotte looked at me as if I should remember to smile more. The thought made me want to frown.

Alex: So, what's your major?
Me: Villainology. Duh.
Alex: Oh yeah. I'm taking Heroics.
Me: I figured.
Alex: Yeah.

Alex really was an okay guy, but he was just too...

Alex: I always loved the night.
Me: Really? I've always favored the morning.
Alex: Like, waking up early?
Me: **shrugs** I guess that's just me.

Different from me. We weren't anything alike.

He was kind and I really wasn't. He would tip toe around a subject while I would just get straight to the point. Even the way we walked was different. He walked like he was wondering around, stopping in front of a shop or a statue every few minutes while I just walked straight ahead.

Alex: Hey, let's take a detour.
Me: Detour?
Alex: Yeah. Let's go the more scenic route.
Me: Scenic route?
Alex: Are you going to repeat everything I say or are we actually going to go?
Me: **laugh** Fine, lead the way.

He bounded ahead like an energetic puppy. I will never know how heroes have all of this energy.

Different.

But maybe different wasn't so bad.

[Xura]

So I'm back from that so-called "friend date". What the heck is a friend date anyway?
Oh boy, you probably want to know how it went, don't you? Ughhhhhh. I am so not one of those girls.
Alright, whatever. But only for the mere purpose that is chronicling my villainous backstory for when I conquer the planet. I plan to have a best selling autobiography.

So anyway, it went down like this-

Alex: So, how do you like this short cut? Beautiful, right?
I looked around at the singing birds, lush scenery, and cheery forest creatures scattering about the trail we followed.
Me: Meh, mediocre. I've adjusted more to the gut-wrenching smell and sight of the trash heap Charlotte and I live in front of.
Alex: Oh... I see. Uhm, I brought you flowers.
A college student walked by, handing Alex a bouquet of sunflowers.
Alex: They reminded me of your smile.
Me: I've literally only known you for like four days. And who was that guy?
Alex: he's a friend of mine. He's majoring in-
Me: Sidekick duties?
Alex: How'd you know?
Me: You can kinda guess. The slightly - less hopeful light in his eyes gave it away. I can already tell he'd make a great henchman. Your friend should consider a course change.
Unfortunately, going to any college for heroism and villiany studies, being a sidekick or a henchman is chosen for you. We're given a test to determine whether or not we're better suited for villian or hero independancy or the life of their helper. Most sidekicks and henchman who attend here are rather disappointed with the results, but motivated enough to continue their studies.
Alex: pfft, please! Why would Phil ever want to work for a villian? Have you met the guy?
Me: Well, no, but I don't see why not. We have higher pay, especially since the majority of us are geniuses.
Alex: Are you saying heroes can't be smart?
Me: If they were smart, they wouldn't be majoring in heroism.
He rolled his eyes and handed me the sunflowers. I took the heavy bunch of flowers with an exaggerated huff.

Alex: I don't think that's fair. Why, to you, is being a villian so much better anyway?
I sighed and glanced briefly at the sun that scorched my skin.
Me: I guess... there's a freedom that comes with it. A freedom you can't get as a hero or a civilian.
His brow furrowed.
Alex: What do you mean?
Me: You have control. Control over every action you make. Even if one day you get beaten by your opponent, you're always in control of what you do and what you want. They can set laws and regulations, but you can always chose to break them.
There was a small silence between us.
Alex: Oh... Just out of curiosity, how did you.. Uh.. How did you decide you wanted to become a villian?
Memories I had suppressed began to resurface, I just as soon pushed them away.
Me: Let's talk about something else.
His face became a bright red.
Alex: Right, sorry.
The path we had taken began to narrow out and the campus residential area came into view.
Me: Where are we going?
Alex: Hm? .. Oh! We're going to Love Potion.
Me: you're kidding.
Alex: They have the best desserts! That's what I owe you.
Me: Yeah, but it's a place for dates. Let me be clear, this is not a date. I don't like you.
Alex: I know, I know. We're just going as friends.
Me: Maybe we can go somewhere else. I know a good pizza place.
Alex: O-oh...
He ran a hand through his hair.
Me: What?
Alex: It's just that I made reservations and I-
Me: you made reservations? You didn't even know I'd come.
He sighed.
Alex: Look, Vanessa. I just want to be your friend. That's our assignment, I want to just get this over with so we can both get an A. We have a whole life ahead to be enemies, can't we just pretend to like each other right now?
I suppose it wasn't a shock that was his intention out of all this, but I was still taken aback for some reason. I guess it just surprised me that for once he wasn't annoyingly optomistic. That, or, the fact that a hero was aknowledging this was just a stupid assignment.
Me: ... I guess. Just... Lay off the flowers, alright?
I handed him back the bouquet. He took it with half a smirk.
Alex: I'll try.

I followed him through the line of stripmalls until we reached Love potion.
Me: I don't understand restaurants anyway. I mean, why do I want to sit somewhere for an hour waiting for a single meal? Not when I can just as easily pick up a pizza!
Alex: But in restaurants, you get food with better quality, more time with your friends, and more social skill experience by talking to waiters.
Me: ugh. That's dispicable, all those things are negatives!
We argued about this all the way to our restaurant table seated privately in the back of the restaurant. The scenery was all lovey and stuff. It was disgusting.
I flipped through the menu.
Alex: Hey, Vanessa...
Me: hm?
I looked up at him as I reached for my glass of coke and took a sip.
Alex: I was wondering, and I'm not suggesting anything, what are your opinions on love anyway?
All the coke I had just drank came sputtering out of me at the question.
Me: uhm.. *cough*
Alex: you just seem... Unhappy all the time.
Me: uh.. No. I'm not unhappy at all. I think you might just be misinterpreting what is actually my personality-
Alex: I THINK I SHOULD SET YOU UP WITH SOMEONE!
Me: Wha-?! Where did that come from?!
Alex: Yes. I should definitely do that.
Me: UHHHHH... No, no you should not.
Alex: Oh come on, Van! It'd be fun!
Me: Why is everyone shortening my name to Van all of a sudden?
Alex: Love is the most powerful force on this earth!
Me: I have high doubts about that, buddy
Alex: We're buddies now?!
Me: No-no! I didn't mean it like-
Alex: Yes! Now we don't have to fake it after all.
He grinned, the waiter came to our table.
Waiter: What can I get you two lovebirds?
Me: We're not lovebirds.
Waiter: just between you and me, I don't really care. Saying stuff like that just usually helps me get tips
Me: I respect that.
Alex: I don't! You should care about all your customers.
I rolled my eyes.
Me: I'll get the uh... Most chocolate-filled thing on the menu.
Waiter: Did you even look at the menu?
Me: um... No. But I trust you kinda.
He shrugged.
Waiter: And for you, sir?
Alex: I'll have the banana split with hot fudge, chocolate ice cream, peanuts, and lots of whip cream. And two cherries please.
Me: Ew, you like the cherries?
Alex: Um, yeah. Cherry on top isn't just a delightful phrase, it's also symbolic of general goodness. I've always liked them.
Waiter: I kinda have to agree with your girlfriend here-
Me: I'm not his girlfriend.
Waiter: Yeesh, touchy subject. Suppose it makes sense though. He likes the cherries.
Me: See what I mean?
Alex: You two just don't have good taste.
I rolled my eyes, the waiter stood there awkwardly.
Me: What's your name?
Waiter: Steve
Me: Steve, three's a crowd.
Waiter: Right. I'm gonna go put your order in now.
He scurried away, Alex glared at me. But it was like a strangely nice glare. Everything about these hero types is wrong.
Me: What?
Alex: I don't know.
I crossed my arms.
Me: If you don't know, why are you giving me that look?
Alex: I guess you could've been a bit nicer.
Me: Nicer? When?
Alex: You kinda embarrassed me, and you weren't very nice to Steve.
Me: Really? Are we really going to talk about this?
Alex: well I suppose we don't have to if you apologize.
Me: Apologize? Apologize for what?
Alex: For calling heroes unintelligent earlier, you're pretty slow.
Me: I'm not apologizing because I hurt your feelings a little bit. That's ridiculous.
Alex: Fine. I'm just not going to talk to you for the rest of the evening.
Me: Now you're getting it.
He rolled his eyes. I picked up a piece of bread and smothered some butter on it.
Me: Want some?
Alex: Pass
Me: Suit yourself.
I gobbled down the bread just as Steve returned with our food.
Me: That was fast.
Steve: Yeah, well. You didn't order much.
Me: True.
He placed the Banana split in front of Alex and gave me a huge slice of chocolate cake with all sorts of chocolate things all over it.
Steve: Hope that's what you wanted.
Me: This looks so good, I could kiss you
Steve: I wouldn't object.
He winked at me.
Me: Yeahhhh okay. I'm weirded out.
Steve: Right. Enjoy.
He walked away.
Alex: I ship it.
Me: You ship nothing, now eat your banana split.

It turned out to be a pretty nice night, and seeing as I spent it with Alex, that's saying A LOT. We parted at the college gate entrance. As soon as I got to my dorm, Charlotte attacked me with questions. Seeing that there was no way out, I caved.
Charlotte: Wow. Sounds like a good date.
Me: It wasn't a date.
Charlotte: Right, sorry. I forgot.
Me: It's okay. You know, you and Alex would be pretty good for each other.
Charlotte: Whaaaaat? Me? And him? Noooooo.
Me: You like him, don't you? Is that why you care so much?
Charlotte: maybe. You won't tell him, right?
Me: I dunno... It makes pretty good blackmail.
Charlotte: Vanessa!
She threw a pillow at me. I rolled my eyes.
Me: Fine, I won't tell him. But I don't make promises. And I am not going to act as your middleman.
She smiled.
Charlotte: You're a good roommate, Van.
Me: Yeah, yeah. Whatever. You're mediocre too.
Charlotte: Awww! That's the nicest thing you've said to me so far.
Me: Right.
Charlotte: Did anything else happen?
Me: Uh... A weird waiter guy we had kinda hit on me I guess? I don't know. Steve winking at me is now going to haunt me in my nightmares.
Charlotte: Steve? Ooo! Tell me more!
Me: there's not much to say. He's weird.
Charlotte: Weird how?
Me: I'm going to bed Charlotte.
Charlotte: Aw, come on!
I pulled myself off the couch and walked into the bedroom. She called after me.
Charlotte: Well say hi to Steve for me in your nightmares.
Me: Yeahhh... Not going to do that.

I shut the door and that was my day. Yup. I have classes tomorrow. Man. I really didn't reach my writing quota for the day. Ugh. I'm about 700 words short. Well, I guess tomorrow is a Monday. Maybe I could write just a little more.

... Nah. Goodnight, Villianous autobiography of my college life!

[Krenko]

omg my favorite not-a-diary writers O.O *stalks not-a-diary*