The Phantom ~ Warriors Fan-Fic ~ Comments appreciated!

[☆ star child]

Love this so far. ^^

[Fichester]

Thank you! c:

[Fichester]

Ok...so I thought I'd give everyone some info on this story which I seemed to have abandoned. I had rushed the most recent chapter, and I felt like I had put myself in a place that was bad. I wanted to explain why the chapters were so weird...but I honestly couldn't find an excuse. Well...now I have c: I was afraid I would have to abandon this story, and though it won't be one of my best in my opinion, I'll be able to do it. It'll be short and seemed confusing, even more so than Bless going off the deep end. But I can't tell you why...you'll figure it out soon enough.

I'll try to start posting chapters here too. I'm going to start writing one right now! c:

[Sʈɑrry Ɲɩght Skɩə]

Oh good. I was worried you just gave up. A short story hu? Ok, I'll wait now.

[Fichester]

Yeah...this one will be really quick because no matter how well I can explain things out, there will be many timeskips. Even though it's short, the story will be divided into two parts. The second part will be weirder, but there won't be as much jumping around. From this point on though there should be chapters where no moons are jumped.

[Dragonfire13]

Love it so far!:)

[Fichester]

Thank you!

Geez...all you people lovin this...I'm afraid you'll hate me by the time this ends, cause the Phantom's world doesn't have many happy endings...

[Fichester]

Just have Redriver put you in the most dangerous situations, and then get yourself out.
What! Coarsepaw suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. That's the last time he ever actually talked to Midnightnose, and that was 3 moons ago. Midnightnose had even been an apprentice back then.
"Something wrong, Coarsepaw?" Redriver asked, who had stopped when he realized he had stopped following.
"No," Coarsepaw replied, continuing after him. He hated not having Cloverleaf and Briarleaf. Now he spent everyday with Redriver. And hide from Bigclaw every night. Maybe Midnightnose isn't as crazy as I thought. I mean...would it really hurt? Redriver says I've practically mastered all my skills and I'm still two moons away from becoming a warrior. "Can I try hunting on my own today? Just for practice?"
Redriver stopped and turned back to him. "Sure. It can be a bit of a practice assessment. I'll be in the bushes, but you won't see me."
Coarsepaw nodded respectfully. "Alright." He bounded past his mentor, knowing exactly where he was going to hunt. But he had to loose Redriver. He ran faster, hoping when Redriver actually started after him, he'd be gone. He followed his nose, until he burst out through the bushes to come nose-to-nose with Cloverleaf.
"Hey, Coarsepaw!" She meowed, backing up.
"Hi," Coarsepaw meowed quickly. "Can you get in Redriver's way?"
"What do you mean?"
"Just make sure he gets stalled a bit," He replied.
"Alright," Cloverleaf meowed.
"Thanks!"
Thank StarClan she trusts me so much. Enough to not even care why I want her to stop the deputy from coming after me. Coarsepaw ran right past Cloverleaf, and when he pushed through the underbrush again, he swerved to the side. It wasn't long before he knew it he could smell the sour smell of monsters. There was another scent twisting through the air, but as he got closer, the thunderpath's stench filled his nose.
He looked over his shoulder, but couldn't see anything. He leapt as high as he could, but there was nothing out of place. He padded to the edge of the thunderpath, and the ground seemed unsteady under him. His paws screaming at him to turn back, to just be a normal apprentice, he padded into the thunderpath. The sound of a monster screeching on the thunderpath made his stomach turn.
Coarsepaw got into a stance where he could leap to safety in a single jump. Hunting? No, I'd shape up like a idiot. An enemy cat? From where? A fox? Hopefully no one would investigate. He looked over his shoulder, waiting for Redriver to catch up. The sound of the monster growing closer made his heart pound inside his head. It's screeching came closer, until her could smell it coming straight at him.
"Coarsepaw!" He had shut his eyes tight, but they fluttered open when he heard Redriver. He could feel wind rushing into his fur as the monster came closer, and right before he leapt his eyes fixed on a white dove right above his head. That's when he had a stupid idea.
Coarsepaw leapt into the air, enclosing his claws around the white bird. He couldn't hear anything over the squealing monster, and fell onto his side onto the rough thunderpath. He felt as if the rush of wind would carry him along under the monster as it rushed right over him, and he held tightly onto the dove in fear.
"Coarsepaw!" Redriver screamed.
He opened his eyes, to find his fur was still on his body. He got to his paws, and picked up the dove in his jaws. Don't mess this up now. He padded calmly over to where his mentor paced on the side.
"What was that about? What were you doing!" Redriver demanded.
"I saw a fox on the other side...but got caught on the thunderpath."
"The thunderpath is the border! You didn't have to chase it!"
"Well," Coarsepaw stammered. "I thought about what would happen if it crossed!"
Redriver fell silent. "Atleast you're ok...and you were thinking of the Clan. Impressive catch, by the way," He eventually replied, shuffling his paws awkwardly. "I think that's enough excitement for one day..."
Coarsepaw followed behind Redriver, holding his head high, though his heart was shaking.
Midnightnose was crazy! But maybe there was a method to his madness...
Maybe.
But I doubt it.

[Fichester]

Coarsepaw shifted uncomfortably through the crowd of cats, trying to put his dove on the fresh-kill pile. The cats had gathered when Smoothstar called a meeting...probably to announce about the incident he had caused on purpose. When he thought he finally found a path through, a cat stepped in front of him. He looked up to see Midnightnose smiling down at him.
He nudged him playfully, "Impressive catch, yeah?" He asked with a wink.
Coarsepaw said nothing, but just stayed hunched over, looking up at him as he glanced around. "Come on, let's get out of here."
"Why?" Coarsepaw asked, muffled. It's getting dark, and we're in the middle of a meeting.
Midnightnose shoved him back towards the entrance. "It's not important. Not for you yet."
Coarsepaw quietly padded through the crowd and out of the camp, Midnightnose's breath on his back. Midnightnose directed him, keeping him infront. "Hey, we've got a new one joining us!" Midnightnose suddenly called out. He stopped, waiting for Midnightnose to tell him where to go, but instead her shoved him through the underbrush into a clearing he didn't even know about. When Coarsepaw regained his paws, Midnightnose padding through the bushes to stand next to him, he could see eyes gleaming in the underbrush. Hollyblaze padded out directly to his left, and Breezefoot padded out to his right. Wetheart and Swiftfur were on the other side of the clearing, and directly infront of him came out his father, Brokenfang.
They all sat down in their spots, including Midnightnose, and Coarsepaw quickly did the same. He felt so much smaller than all the others, even though Swiftfur was his size. All of the cats shared the same cold glint in their eyes, or as far as he could see. Wetheart seemed to hide his dark blue eyes. Coarsepaw was hunched over, the dove still held in his doves.
"Well, I'd keep him," Breezefoot meowed, breaking the silence and his solemn face. His voice was light-hearted, he wore a smile, but the cold glint just refused to go away. "He brought food with him!"
Swiftfur snorted in amusement with a smirk, and Hollyblaze, who had actually cracked a smile, meowed, "That's all you need, isn't it?"
"Hey!" Midnightnose nudged him, make him accidentally toss the bird into the center of the clearing. "That's my dove!" All the cats, except for Wetheart and Brokenfang, let out a chorus of laughter. Wait...the dove wasn't actually flying over me when I caught it. It was already dead! Midnightnose must've been there, and tossed the dove in the air! Redriver would've seen him...was he over the border?
"Why don't we see if he can get it back without one of us snappin' his paws off!" Breezefoot joked.
Hollyblaze crouched over, read to swing out with a smile showing off her gleaming fangs. "Go on," She said, her startling tone and the cold glint shining in her blood-red eyes making Coarsepaw want to shake. "Go get it."
Midnightnose nudged him, and Coarsepaw carefully stretched out his paw. He kept his eyes on Hollyblaze, and she locked his gaze. He hovered his paw over the battered bird, and then slammed his paw down and pulled it back. Hollyblaze leaped out, snapping her teeth, though she would've been a tail-length off if his paw had still been in her grasp. The cats laughed, but the silence of Wetheart and Brokenfang seemed obvious to only him.
"You don't scare him!" Midnightnose meowed, poking Coarsepaw's shoulder with his paw. "I'm the one that looks foxlike! Grr!" He shook his head, baring his teeth, getting another laugh from the participating cats. "Ah, you can have the dove," He added once they had calmed down.
Coarsepaw hesitated, but when attention shifted off of him, he slowly started to eat the bird. "Does he really fit in with us?" Brokenfang asked.
The light-hearted mood seemed to be shattered, but the other cats were still acting like it hadn't. Coarsepaw kept silent, looking at the others. "Of course!" Midnightnose meowed, putting his tail over his shoulders. "He's our ticket to a new over-rule?"
"What?" Coarsepaw asked.
"You're going to grow up to be our little leader," Midnightnose meowed, bending down to be at his eye-level like he was a kit, though he still was a lot smaller than the huge yet thin tom.
"And by that, he means leader of this little WaterClan here," Hollyblaze added, doing the same as Midnightnose.
"Wait, what about me?" Brokenfang snarled. Swiftfur and Breezefoot fell silent and solemn this time too, leaving only Midnightnose and Hollyblaze the ones who were seemingly entertained.
"You're too old," Midnightnose said dismissively. "Plus, now you've gotten yourself out of the position. Smoothstar and you were, atleast at one point, mates. Never acted like Coarsepaw's father. Do you really think Smoothstar would pick you as deputy, if you broke up with her and treated your son like dirt? And if Redriver? Would he make you deputy if you caused his leader and friend distress, and ignored his apprentice? And any leader after them that would've be biased by that...would you even be alive by then? And if you were, why would anyone make such an old cat deputy?"
"Coarsepaw's the leader's son and the deputy's apprentice," Hollyblaze put in. "Smoothstar's already biased for him since you don't care. And Redriver would obviously be biased to his own apprentice. He's almost already guaranteed the leader's place."
"What about Bigclaw?" Swiftfur asked.
"He doesn't even matter," Hollyblaze replied, dismissing him. "He may have ambitions every cat knows of, but he can't out run Coarsepaw."
"All of you are stupid cats," Brokenfang meowed. Hollyblaze's face fell into a glare, now having Midnightnose being the only one maintaining his ignorance. "Come back when you get better ideas." He got to his paws, and padded around the circle of cats to disappear in the brush.
"Fine," Hollyblaze snarled. She suddenly turned on Wetheart, who was sitting beside her. "You going to leave too? He's the one that brought you here!"
Wetheart jerked his head up, "No, no!" He stammered, shifting his paws.
"That old cat is all talk," Midnightnose scoffed. "He'll be back next meeting."
"Well, I'm done with this one." Hollyblaze meowed, getting up and stomping off.
Midnightnose watched after his sister, then turned back to the other cats. "This meeting is dismissed." Swiftfur, Breezefoot, and Wetheart calmly and swiftly disappeared into the brush, heading back to camp as the forest darkened.
"Let's go Coarsepaw," Midnightnose meowed with a smirk, standing up and heading on.
Coarsepaw quickly brushed the dove feathers under the bush, and bounded to catch up with him. "How often do you have the meetings?"
"Every 7 days. See you at the next one," Midnightnose added, smiling at him before speeding up and padding on to get swallowed up by the bushes and the darkness. Coarsepaw slowly followed.
Apparently I don't have a choice.

[Sʈɑrry Ɲɩght Skɩə]

Wow... I can see what you mean by confusing. I just have one question. What happened with the dove, I didn't reall under stand that part but, its good... just pretty confusing.