Aʟʟ Tʜᴀᴛ Rᴇᴍᴀɪɴs ~ Comments Needed!

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Aʟʟ Tʜᴀᴛ Rᴇᴍᴀɪɴs ~ Comments Needed!

Postby .Saffron. » Sat Jun 09, 2012 11:27 pm

Ńт℮яωαґḓs....✝♄εґε ḯṧ η◎⊥нїη❡ ℓ℮ḟ⊥
Imagine the dark forest. It is night. The tall, dark pines loom high and foreboding, towering over you like twolegs. As you wind through the trees, you brush against one. The bark touches your pelt, pushing it back in a messy manner. You turn with a hiss, as the bark is slightly ice-frozen, and hurt against your cold pelt. You turn back, shaking your pelt and padding onwards. The ground is cold, and hard as rock, the ice settling didn't stop at the bark. Underpaw, there are many frozen pine-needles, and they rustle and rub slightly as you move. Their strong scent is dampened tonight, though, since the ice has frosted them. As you walk, you shiver. This leaf-bare has been harder than most, especially with the twoleg war. Continuing, you glance upwards at the sky. Once again, clouds cover the moon, their smoky tendrils darker than the night sky itself.
Another twoleg effect, you think with disgust.
The forest that you grew up in is starting to scare you. Nowhere can be trusted - that you know - but surely this place has remained safe? As the darkness sets in, you start to doubt that thought. As you look around, you double-take. Everything smells different. Rather than the icy, muffled smells of pine needles, pine trees, frozen grass and he faint scent of fresh kill, your nose can only detect the surprisingly sharp scent of crow-food, and under that, a strong smell of twolegplace. as you look around, you notice strange, square shadowy shapes, and the occasional flash of light. Looking down, you examine the ground closely in the bad light. Rather than the frosted grass and pine needles, you are standing on something else. You run your numb paw-pads over the ground, and find that it's bumpy. Ice coated - but bumpy. Fear starts to build in your stomach - a knot of tension and worry that has building up over the past moon of training and fighting.
You have, you realise, wandered into twolegplace. Fear grips you like a vice, paralysing your legs, so that all you can do is hold your ears back in fear. Glancing back, you cannot see the tall, dark trees of your home forest. In the dark, you have become lost. Your tail flicks in agitation, the glossyish dark fur catching the sudden flashes of light.
Then you hear it. The growling, snarling noise. You have only heard stories of this noise, but the storytellers weren't exaggerating. The noise is nightmare made reality. As your head darts backwards and forwards, there is another noise. Another snarling from the other side. Confusion builds as the noises grow nearer, the flashing lights continuously distracting you. As you hear the cries of twolegs, you know that you will never see another sunrise. This dark alley, with it's ice coated bumpy ground, the flashing lights and the dark smells....will be your final destination.



We are spared details of the death of noble Icewren. But he was the final warrior. Now, all that remains of the four noble clans is seven apprentices and five kits, all of a variety of ages. The only questions that really remain -
Will they survive?
And if they do....what will their destiny be?
Last edited by .Saffron. on Sun Jun 17, 2012 8:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Aʟʟ Tʜᴀᴛ Rᴇᴍᴀɪɴs ~ Ш♄ø ▣ ₩℮ ▣ Ѧґℯ

Postby .Saffron. » Wed Jun 13, 2012 5:38 am

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Ш♄ø ▣ ₩℮ ▣ Ѧґℯ
*Ranks Have Not Yet Been Given*

Alliances & Friendships

Family
Rushkit & Icekit -- Brother and Sister
Flashpaw & Sunkit -- Brothers from different litters.

Former Clans
Streampaw, Graylingpaw & Mintkit -- RiverClan
Cedarpaw, Windpaw & Birdkit -- ShadowClan
Magpiepaw, Muskpaw, Icekit & Rushkit -- ThunderClan
Flashpaw & Sunkit -- WindClan
The Apprentices
Streampaw -- 7 Moons -- She-Cat
Cedarpaw -- 7 Moons -- Tom
Graylingpaw -- 8 Moons -- She-Cat
Windpaw -- 9 Moons -- She-Cat
Magpiepaw -- 10 Moons -- She-Cat
Flashpaw -- 8 Moons -- Tom
Muskpaw -- 9 Moons -- Tom

The Kits
Icekit -- 1 Moon -- Tom
Rushkit -- 1 Moon -- She-Cat
Mintkit -- 5 Moons -- She-Cat
Sunkit -- 3 Moons -- Tom
Birdkit -- 4 Moons -- She-Cat













Desciptions Of The Original Cats
STREAMPAW- Small, Dainty, and every bit the She-cat, Streampaw has a pleasing figure and looks that demand attention. The main reason for this is her unusually coloured fur - a light, creamy brown - lighter than the earth, but in no way white. This gorgeous fur pales a little at the belly, where it gains a fluffy quality. For the most part, Streampaws fur is of a normal length, verging on kittypet-like in its quality - soft, smooth, and rarely knotted.
Streampaws eyes are just as unusual as her fur - a striking deep green color, close to the color of greenleaf ferns, or fresh grass. In those eyes, many are reminded of greenleaf days, happy hunting and good memories.

CEDARPAW- A firm, loveable Tom, Cedarpaw has a bright aura to him that contrasts the rumours that surrounded his past clan. He has dark brown fur, with a striking resemblance to Cedar bark, which is how he earnt his name. Cedarpaws most striking feature though, is his eyes. Multicoloured and different, they give him a unique touch - the right is a sky-blue color, and the left is a dusty brown, a little like sun-baked earth.

GRAYLINGPAW- Sleek, gray and well-fed, Graylingpaw holds a typical RiverClan appearance. Her dark gray fur is a slate-like color, but is always glossy and well-groomed, even throughout leaf-bare. She has longer legs than most, which is useful for catching deeper swimming fish, and deep, dark-gray blue eyes that match the water when the sky is cloudy. Unlike the other RiverClan cats however, Graylingpaw has shorter fur, which often leads to her becoming cold quickly while swimming. She was named after the Grayling fish, since she was the first kit born, after her mother ate a Grayling fish.

WINDPAW- It's strange that ShadowClan would name one of their kits after one of their enemies, but given her pelt, they can be forgiven. Beginning light gray/brown, Windpaws pelt is then covered in intricate splodges, flecks and markings, giving her fur a windswept look. However, Windpaws build is closer to that of a Shadow, or even ThunderClan cat, due to the muscle that is starting to build, her long tail and also her short legs.
Windpaws eyes are plain - unlike her pelt - a simple gray color, flecked occasionally with white.

MAGPIEPAW- True to her name, Magpiepaw is a jet-black she-cat. With stunning, bright green eyes and glossy dark fur, she almost looks more like a ShadowClan cat than a pure ThunderClan cat. With a slender build, Magpiepaw has never been ideally suited to fighting - which is probably why she chose the path of a medicine cat. However, her life remains difficult, due to her fear of fear itself.

FLASHPAW- Skinny, short furred and equally short tempered, Flashpaw makes a typical WindClan cat. He has an agile build, long legs, sharp ears and short fur. Perfect, really. His fur is mouse brown, a dull color that shines glossily when he's well-fed. His fur is short, and slightly brittle - meaning that he feels the cold far more than others in leaf-bare. His eyes are a deep, chocolate brown, and the tip of his mouse-brown tail is a smokey white.

MUSKPAW- Muskpaw is a deep, richly colored tom - his fur is smooth, chocolate brown, and he grooms it nicely, giving him a dark, foresty feel. He has shorter legs, but is surprisingly agile, and very good at climbing trees, due to his long claws. Muskpaw has bright amber eyes, which are flecked with deep green, and longer than usual, slightly pointy ears.

ICEKIT- Small, fluffy, white and energetic, Icekit fits his name perfectly. His long, pure-white fur is always fluffed out and keeps him warm nicely in the cold. He has one pale blue eye, and one pale green eye, and is half deaf - his right ear (The blue eye side) is deaf, but the left ear (The green eye side) is not.

RUSHKIT- A bundle of even more energetic, rushing, troublesome fluff, Rushkit has a black back, white underbelly and a white-tipped tail. Like her brother, she has long fur, however hers gets warmer quicker, due to its color. She has deep green eyes, and was born before her brother.

MINTKIT- Mintkit is a pale, pale gray she cat with glossy blue eyes. Her fur is of a medium length, and she has long legs and a slender build, as well as a longish tail. She is generally appears as shy and quiet, however, she is starting to become manipulative and colder.

SUNKIT- A dark gingery kitten, Sunkit looks like the sunset or rise, the entire time. His fur is medium length, and he has white stripes that line his tail. His eyes are green, and they match his pelt in a nice, contrasting way.

BIRDKIT- Dainty, sweet, innocent....and deadly. Birdkit has soft, round, cute blue eyes and fluffy, brown-ginger fur that would make even the harshest of warriors smile. But don't let the looks fool you - Birdkit has already proven that she isn't to be messed with, and was regularly allowed to wander the camp and territory freely.
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Re: Aʟʟ Tʜᴀᴛ Rᴇᴍᴀɪɴs ~

Postby .Saffron. » Wed Jun 13, 2012 6:04 pm

(Critique would be appreciated, thanks)
~~~



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Flashpaw was cold. So, so cold. The fog crept in around him like a silent stalker, creeping into his pelt and freezing him. His short, slightly brittle brown coat was useful in the summer, when he hunted and if he ever got thrown into rivers....but it lacked seriously in the warmth area - he was frozen. As he scanned the moor that he thought that he'd known, he took a shock. He could only just see the shadowy outline of his tail, and could barely see past his whiskers. Letting out a whimper, he glanced down - Good - he could still see the muddy, trampled, ice-tipped grass below him. Just about. There were no flowers left now, the few that had survived the cold had been crushed under the paws of the twolegs. Another shiver came over him, and he felt the goosebumps rise underneath his pelt, the short fur on the back of his neck starting to rise - he had the distinct feeling that someone, or something, was watching him. Maybe it was the fog...but the only time he'd felt like this before was on a raid of ShadowClan territory - Cold, Stalked, Prey-Like and Unsure.
As he journeyed on, his paw pads became number, until he could no longer feel the stone-hard ground beneath his feet. He had lost track of the times he'd shivered, or the times that he'd wanted to crawl down a hole in the ground, and let StarClan watch over him. But StarClan were gone - that was what the medicine cats had said. StarClan were gone, the twolegs had destroyed the Moonstone, ending the connection. StarClan could no longer help them, and they, in return, could not communicate with the ancestors. Yes, these were grave times. If I die....will I go to StarClan? The thought hit him suddenly, and he stopped, giving it some thought. All good cats went to StarClan, that he knew - but surely if StarClan were gone, then no-one would be able to go there at death? The thought made the fog press in harder on him, and chilled him more than the cold ever had. He sighed, and continued onwards, hoping that he was going the right way. He needed to get to camp. Those were Darkwhiskers' orders. 'Get to camp, get any weak ones, protect them!' It hadn't been a request, it was an order. But it wasn't those words that ran through Flashpaw's mind - worrying, knotting and fretting as he walked - it was Darkwhiskers' final words as he was caught; 'You are the last! The last...warrior'. Surely, Darkwhisker didn't mean I was the last cat left of WindClan? He asked himself. He wanted the rational side of his brain to kick in - the side that would tell him not to overreact. And while it didn't, that was what he told himself. Darkwhisker didn't mean it like that. Over, and over. But even so, the loneliness hit him like a wave - a shock of being the only one left, being forced into lonerness, possibly even ending up a kittypet? He grimaced at the last one. No matter what, I will NOT become a kittypet! He vowed to himself. I will maintain that aspect of my life! He stumbled on, his head starting to spin from the hunger. So hungry. His ribs showed through his pale brown fur, and you could easily count the bones in his tail, or along the ridge of his spine. Why? Curse those mouse-brained twolegs! He thought, his long, black claws starting to dig into the rock-solid ground, tearing away at the frozen, icicle-like grass. Wincing as the cold hit his feet, he sheathed his claws, and looked around again - no luck - the fog remained dark and pressing, clouding his sight. He smelt the air, trying to focus through the worry and emotion surging through him. Nothing - no scent whatsoever. Even on clearer days, you could still smell the grass, the trees, the prey, your clan-mates....so much. And now? Nothing, just the dampened, ice-muffled smell of twoleg and dog. It made him want to dig his claws into the ground again - but he hoped that he'd learnt his lesson about doing that, although, given his mind-frame, he doubted it highly.
His head was still spinning with emotion, hunger, exhaustion and cold, as he staggered onwards. His vision slipped for a second, and he was tempted just to curl up in a ball and go to sleep - but he knew that if he did, he would never awake. His feet tripped on a frozen oak root, and he stumbled forwards, slithering down a hole that he hadn't seen, knocking aside a hard, cold heather plant that scraped his body slightly. His last thoughts - drowsied by the sudden darkness of the hole, the sudden warmth and the lack of food - were muddled. His eyelids fluttered a few times, before the blackness descended, and Flashpaw knew no more. His last thought was that he knew the smell of this hole. He just couldn't place it.
C l i c k P l e a s e < - - - Not a soul stealer, I promise.
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Re: Aʟʟ Tʜᴀᴛ Rᴇᴍᴀɪɴs ~ Comments Needed!

Postby .Saffron. » Mon Jun 18, 2012 2:58 am

    Bump!
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Re: Aʟʟ Tʜᴀᴛ Rᴇᴍᴀɪɴs ~ Comments Needed!

Postby SunnyJustice » Sat Aug 11, 2012 10:05 am

You have done a good job, and I like it. c: I have bookmarked this thread.
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