• my stories •

[lorreli.]

Writing feeds the soul <3

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Hello :3
I am just another writer who is passionate about what I do.
And I've finally decided to make a topic for my stories,
And share them with CS.

Most of these stories are from the CS Pet Pairs thread.
Some of them are longer, others are short.
But, occasionally, I will throw in a poem or an essay.
If you would like to comment or critique my work,
Don't be afraid to shoot me a PM :)
Or just write it here.

Also, please do not steal my work.
This stories were created from my imagination.
I worked hard on them.
Do not claim any of them for your own.

Please enjoy my stories!

-lorreli

[lorreli.]

lacie ( f ) ----------------------------------- mason ( m )
"Oh, dear,
It's been hardly three days
And I'm longing to feel your embrace.
There are several days
Until I can see your sweet face.

Oh say,
wouldn't you like to be older and married with me?
Oh say,
wouldn't it be nice to know right now that we'll be

Someday holding hands in the end
All our broken plans will have been
I will kiss you soft so you know

It is love from the first
Time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinking, "Oh, is it love?"

- hellogoodbye - "oh, it is love"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They told me it wouldn't last. They told me it was a teenage fling, and that I should just forget about it. They told me he was just one out of the million guys on the Earth that I could have. But they didn't understand. They weren't there all those endless summer nights, or on those autumn afternoons. They weren't there during the long winter months, or the soft breezy spring. They didn't hear him say forever when he left. None of them had ever been so in love with someone like him. So, of course, they would underestimate our love for one another. They didn't think it was strong enough to hold out for a year. But, I knew they were all wrong. We had a year together, a glorious, wonderful, beautiful year. What was one year apart compared to that one year together? If anyone could make it, it would be us.

I met Mason in the early summer. I had just moved to the area, and he had lived there all his life. The day we met, he offered to show me around the place. And, in that one day, I knew. There was something about him that was different from anyone I had every been with in my entire life. And in that one day, I had already fallen. By mid-summer, we were official. We were the perfect couple that everyone envied and admired. But it didn't matter how many people were jealous of us, it didn't matter if others approved or disaproved. It just mattered that he loved me, and he loved me the way I was. No strings attached. And that was more then I could ever ask of him. The two of us went on together for that whole, beautiful year, as the perfect couple. My life had changed dramatically in that course of time, going from being a socially awkward oddity to someone who felt loved by another. And, yes, it was the very best feeling in the world.

But, all good things must come with roadblocks, no? It was the anniversery of the day we met. A year ago, my heart had finally skipped a beat and my world had stopped turning altogether, instead of revolving around me, it revolved around him. All day long, he had seemed down and hesistant with me. And then, finally, he revealed what was on his mind. Next week, he had to leave me and serve in the army. At first, I was shocked and frightened. Leave me? Go...to another continent? Without...without me? I couldn't imagine being away from him. Not now, not ever. My only question was...how long? He told me he was only required to be enlisted for a year. And, after that year was up, he would come back for me. That night, he proposed to me. He told me he wanted to make sure that there would be something to keepy me busy while he was gone. He promised me I would be so busy planning our wedding that I would barely notice he was gone. We announced our engagement the night before he left.

He was only half right - the wedding planning did distract me most of the time. But, that didn't stop me from realizing that he was gone. Every waking moment, I was aware of his absence from our big, empty house. I was aware that when he returned, everyting would be ok, we would be happily married, and things would return to the way they were before he left. Right? In any spare moment of my time that wasn't invested in planning, I was counting down the days till his return home in June. Finally, May came. A few weeks left and we would be happily reunited, our wedding set for August. But, then, I got the phone call. It was two weeks before he was due home. The phone rang in the eerie silence of my lonely home and I picked up with a wary hello. It was Mason. "Lacie?" he said very carefully. "Oh Mason! I'm so excited for you to come home!" I burst out once I recognized his voice. "Everything is ready for the wedding! The venue, the reception, the cake, the orderves, the food, my dress, the wedding party...now all we need is the groom! I'm just so happy you're-" But he caught me off suddenly. "Lacie, I have to tell you something."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At that moment, my blood went cold. His tone was hard and serious. My face drained of all color as I whispered, "What do you need to tell me?" I found myself breathing shallowly, gasping almost, as I impatiently awaited his answer. I heard him sigh on the other end, and finally he said, "I have to say for six more months, Lacie. I reinlisted." he said. I felt frozen. Six more months..."Babe, I'm so sorry but...they need me here." he added in a gentler, softer tone. I was holding back tears. "I need you here, too." I whispered. It was all I could manage. I heard him sigh softly again. "Lacie, baby..." he began. But I finally broke down. "Mason!" I sobbed, my breath coming out in short gasps. "We've been seperated for a whole year! I've been worried sick day and night, counting down the days until you were home safe again! I haven't been sleeping, I've been so stressed! What if I prepared the whole wedding, and then I had no groom!? What if you didn't come home to me!? Now you have a chance to come home, and you're going to stay!?" I was letting out all the emotion that I had bottled up inside me for the months and months. I continued on yelling and sobbing into the reciever, my breath coming out in gasps between every phrase. When I was done, breathing heavily and still weeping, I heard nothing but stunned silence on the other line. For what seemed like hours, I waited and waited for a reply. But none came. "Mason...?" I whispered. I waited. Still nothing. Finally, a clearing of the throat. A soft cough. Another sigh. "I have to go now, Lacie." he finally said in a formal tone. I began in hysterics all over again. "Mason! Please don't leave me! Please just come home...I need you!" I sobbed. But, then the line went dead. For the next hour, I sat curled up in a ball, holding the phone and crying. What did this mean? Were we still getting married? Would he even come home...?

For the next few months, I became very withdrawn and subduded. The wedding planning continued, but I had lost interest. The date of the original wedding came and went, and soon I was sent into spiraling depression. I didn't socialize anymore, and I kept to myself in my house most days. I hadn't heard from Mason since the phone call. There were no more phone calls, no letters, nothing. I began wondering if he would reinlist again for the next six months, and just forget about me. I began to convince myself that he was not coming home. I began trying to cope with it all myself, telling myself what all the others told me. It was a one year thing. Many other people had gone for five years before being seperated. They were the ones that were able to handle war. Maybe our relationship just couldn't handle war. Maybe I was wrong. Being apart for a year had changed me. It had also changed him. He had become devoted to his country in the year he had been there. Maybe more devoted to our country then to me...I couldn't bear it. He was the one, and I knew that better they anyone else did. I had waiting my whole life for him. I couldn't just let him go. So, I tried sending him letters. I tried calling. I tried everything that I possibly could do to reach him. But I never got any response, no phone calls, no letters, no nothing. It was like he was never even there...

Then, the phone call came in mid-September, about a month or so before Mason was due home. I ran to grab it, waiting with bated breath, hoping it was him. My heart was racing franticly. "Hello?" I said, out of breath. An unfamilar voice greeted me. "Is this Miss Lacie?" the strange voice asked. My heart plummeted. "This is she." I said, monotone dripping from my voice. Probably just another flower arranger for the wedding. "Are you, by chance, Mr. Mason's fiance?" he asked. My blood froze. "Yes...I am..." I said hesitantly. What did this person want to know about Mason? Why did it matter if I was his fiance? I began to shake nervously, my heart back to racing again. "Miss Lacie, I am a General in the US Army. We have some bad news about your fiance..."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me

If I fall.....
If I fall down....."

- my chemical romance - "the ghost of you" -

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"The ink is running toward the page
It's chasin' off the days
Look back at both feet
And that winding knee
I missed your skin when you were east
You clicked your heels and wished for me

Through playful lips made of yarn
That fragile Capricorn
Unraveled words like moths upon old scarves
I know the world's a broken bone
But melt your headaches, call it home"

-"northern downpour" - panic! at the disco -

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My breath caught quickly in my throat and a choked. The general had obviously not heard my breath spasm, so he continued. "Mason was shot a few times on one of our riskier raids - it happened towards the very end of May." he began to explain. Tears began to flow down my cheeks and I swallowed a desperate sob. "He was hit once in the knee, and once around his shoulder. The bullet near his shoulder punctured a bit of his lung." the general said. "Are....are you saying he's...?" I began, but my breath caught up in my throat again and I stopped midsentance. The general sighed softly. "Well, no. Not yet, anyway. He's been fighting for these months. We were able to easily dislodge the bullet from his knee, but we had a bit of a harder time with the bullet near the shoulder...our surgeons had to be very careful around that punctured lung. They've still been working on the lung for months now." he said gently. I let out a soft, sorrowful sigh of relief. At least he was still fighting..."Will...will he be coming home?" I finally asked quietly. "Yes. Well, as long as he survives this last surgery. After the last surgery, we will give him about a month to recover and then we'll send him back to the states." he said in an unsure tone. "Do you think he will make it?" I asked earnestly. The general was very hesitant. "Well...we...we can't be sure. He's been in pretty sorry shape since the last surgery. It weakened him greatly. He's unconcious most of the time." My heart sank and the tears began to dribble back down my cheeks. "If he doesn't make it..." I began, but the general interuppted. "We'll let you know." he replied in a soft, reassuring tone. I wiped the wetness from my eyes. "Thank you general." I finally said in a cracked voice, reaching for the end button. "Miss Lacie, wait a moment!" he said urgently. I stopped dead, ready on the button, and waited. "Mason wanted you to know he got all your letters and phone calls. He wanted me to tell you to be strong for him. He wants you to know that he loves you with his heart and soul, and that he is confident he will be standing by your side at the altar in a few months time." the general said in a sorrowful tone. At that, I finally lost it. I began to sob softly. But, I gathered myself to add a request to the general. "Can you...can you just tell him I love him?" I whispered shakily. "I can do that, ma'm." he said. And then, the line went dead. I didn't even bother to hang up the phone before I slid down to the floor, lying in a crumpled heap with tears spilling on the tile floor. He had gotten hurt right after I last spoke to him in May, and I was yelling at him the last time we spoke. How could I ever live with myself knowing that those were the last words I would ever speak to him. I cried myself to sleep on the cold kitchen floor that night, crying for all I had lost. Crying for all I could possibly loose.

The next month was tourtorus. I would wait all day, dreading that the phone would ring and bring my the news that I never wanted to hear. Whenever the phone did ring, my heart banged about in my ribcage as I picked it up, relieved when I discovered it was not the army. The whole month of September, I got no phone calls. October was the same. November was uneventful as well. I began doubting the generals reassuring words. What if they forgot to call when he didn't make it? What if he had not survived the surgery, and I would never know? I began to become desperate for news, any news really. Good or bad. I didn't like being left in the dark - so I became frantic when December hit. Surely they had forgotten? Because he would've been home by now if he survived it, wouldn't he? I began doubting anything I told myself before, that he was coming home. That his final promise to me was true. But it couldn't be. I had a feeling that...he was simply gone. Never would I know the feeling to stand next to him at the altar, feeling love that I had never felt in my life for him. I would never have his child, and I would never have a child with eyes quite like his. Light, forest green. The eyes that I would never look into again. We would never raise children or have grandchildren. We would never grow old together. I would never see his goofy, lopsided smile or hear his aodreable, quirky laugh again. Because he was gone...

It was Christmas Eve. The snow outside was blinding, and the roads were a sheet of black ice. My house was cold and dark, and empty. Except for me. I was supposed to be at my mother's house, celebrating with my family. But what was there to celebrate? Nothing. So, I declined. I stayed home alone, watching the snowstorm unfolding from the safeness of my house, and thinking. This would've been our first Christmas...as a married couple. Our first New Year's too. I would've been blinded by happiness. Maybe I would've been pregnant with our first child. But, all that was simply another fantasy. I watched through the storm as headlights slowing inched their way up my street. They suddenly turned the corner and were gone. I was alone again. As I slowly got up, I could feel the terrible ache of sorrow in the pit of my stomach that had been presant since December. I began to inch towards the stairs, ready to retire for the night. But, I heard a loud knock on my door. A puzzled expression made it's way onto my face - had my mother come to command me to her house. I warily made my way to the large front door, before slowly unlocking it and creaking it open. When I finally swung it open, I couldn't believe my own eyes. There, on my front porch with a soft smile and that loving, gentle gaze was Mason. My eyes were wide and my hand flew to my mouth. My first impulse was to throw myself in his arms, but I recoiled. What about his shoulder? So, I just stood in the doorway and stared, soft joyful tears streaming down my cheeks. He softly chuckled as he advanced forward, taking me into his arms and laying his head softly on my shoulder, stroking my head gently. "Lacie..." he whispered.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The. End. <3

[lorreli.]

marie ( f ) ----------------------------------------------- darin ( m )

| Sometimes love can be found in the most unexpected places... |

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I watched her from acorss the cool, sterile hallway. Her eyes were filled with sorrow, and her mouth was fixed in permenant grimace. Someone was standing next to her, softly stroking her long silver hair and whispering reassuring words. I inched closer, holding my clipboard to my chest as I began to walk towards her. I realized that the two were standing in front of the window that overlooked the nursery. I pretended to be looking at the small babies in bassinets as I eavesdropped on their conversation. "It's a beatiful baby." the woman on her right whispered softly. "She has her father's eyes." the woman said again. She refused to say anything to the woman, who I supposed was her mother. The woman sighed softly and patted her shoulder once more. "Dear, you should really be getting some rest." she said. She just shook her head and continued to gaze into the window. The woman simply shook her head and gazed worriedly at her daughter. "If you need me, I'll be in your room. You have some visitors." The woman began to inch away, her eyes on her daughter until she disapeared around the corner. She remained still and unmoving, her eyes on a small baby wrapped in a pink blanket. My head was swimming with questions. Who was she? Where was the father? What had happened to him?

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

I watched my baby sleep soundly, her tiny chest rising and falling as she breathed. I heard my mother distantly speaking about her, but I wasn't paying attention. All my effort went into watching my baby. I could feel my mother stroking my hair and patting my shoulder, but I barely registered the reassuring gestures. My head was blank except for thoughts of her. My little hope. My mother left me alone then. I could tell she worried - I hadn't said much since the birth. But, she was right. My baby was beautiful, and she did have her father's eyes...those beautiful blue eyes..."Which one is yours?" I heard someone ask. I turned to see a man standing next to me. A man in scrubs and a clipboard. A doctor..."That's her." I said in a hoarse voice, pointing to her. She turned softly in her sleep. The man smiled softly at me. "She looks like you." he said. I averted my eyes quickly. Honestly, she looked much more like her father...the soft blue eyes. "What's her name?" he asked. "I haven't named her yet..." I admitted. He nodded lightly. "Do you have any ideas?" he asked, prompting me. Of course, I had many ideas. But...without Ryan here...which name to choose? He was supposed to help me name it, since I was so indesicive. And now..."Well, I liked a few names. Um...Elena, Sophie. Or maybe Hope. I also liked Kylie. Payton was a cute one too." I began. But...lately I've been thinking of the name Ryanne..." I said. Ryanne...just a slight variation of her father's name. The doctor smiled. "Ryanne. I think you should name her Ryanne." he said. I smiled back, the first smile I had smiled for months. "I think I will name her Ryanne." I said quietly, smiling at him, and then smiling down at my baby. I looked back up at the doctor, positvely beaming. He looked back with a reassuring grin. "She is a beautiful baby, Miss. But I think it's time you got some rest." he told me. I was taken aback, the smiled wiped from my face. I couldn't leave my Ryanne...I had only known her for three hours. I couldn't leave her. Not even to sleep. The doctor had seen my face, so he quickly said, "Don't worry, miss. Your baby will be fine." he said kindly. I still wasn't reassured. "But...what if she cries? What if she needs something?" I asked worriedly. The doctor looked around, probably searching for an answer. "I'll watch her tonight." He said. "All night?" I asked, wanting to be reassured. "Yes, all night. And I will come and get you if she needs anything." I was hesitant in agreeing, but my eyes felt heavy and my body ached from lack of sleep, so I finally nodded. Before retreating to my hospital room, I looked back at the doctor. He was opening the door to enter the nursery. "Wait!" I called. He turned to look at me with an eyebrow raised. "What is your name?" I asked. "I'm Darin. And you are?" he replied. "Marie." I said back. He nodded lightly with a smile before disapearing behind the nursery door. Before leaving the window, I glanced longingly at baby Ryanne one more time as her tiny mouth opened to yawn.



-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

As I closed the door to the nursery, I glanced over at tiny Ryanne. Her eyes were closed, and she was sleeping soundly. I pulled up a chair to her bassinette and sat, simply watching her. There were some things that were the same as her mother - like the coloring. I wondered curiously if the baby had the same rosy eyes as her mother did. I grinned softly as I thought of those eyes. Those eyes that looked like they had once twinkled. But now, they were dull, as if all the light had left them. As I sat there watching Ryanne, I puzzled and puzzled, trying to think of a reason why Marie's eyes no longer shined. What had happened to her? I guessed that something had possibly happened with her husband, or fiance, or maybe boyfriend. Maybe he found out she was having the baby, and took off. Maybe he had been cheating, and they divorced or broke up. Maybe he had died, been in the army or had cancer. Whatever the reason, I could guess that the father was out of the picture. But why, was my only question. If he had left willingly, then there must've been something wrong with him. I couldn't imagine why any man in his right mind would leave someone as beautiful as Marie. But, then again, maybe he had left unwillingly...just then, Ryanne gave a soft yawn and blinked her eyes open. I stared at her, and she stared back with cool, icy blue eyes. Not the rose petal eyes I imagined. A tiny smile appeared on her lips before the eyes closed again and she was back to snoozing. Who was the father of this child?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He left me, two months before the baby was born. Now, I know what you must be thinking - trickery, disloyalty, dishonesty, adultry. Cheating. But, you're wrong. Did you ever think of death? Now, you must be thinking cancer. Army. Tragic plane crash. Heart failure. No, my fiance wasn't sick, or a soldier. He was ordinary and healthy. Ryan was the light of my life - we met when we were both young and foolish, and immediatly clicked. After three years, I was expecting. He proposed. Everything was set and ready. On the night of the rehearsal dinner, my mother offered to drive me. Ryan was going to be late, coming from work. And, on the way to our rehearsal dinner...Ryan got into a car accident. He died within minutes after the crash. They weren't even able to get him to the hospital. He was simply...gone. The funeral was a week after the wedding date. I sat in the very back of the church, away from any sympathy as people dressed in black wept profusely for the love of my life. I didn't have time to cry, though. I had another life to worry about - a child that I would bear that would grow up never knowing his or her father.

This is what I was thinking of as I lied away in my hosptial room that morning. I was thinking of what I was going to do. What I was going to say...when my child asked me about her father. Would I lie? Or would I tell her the truth? I sat up in the white sheets, looking around the empy, sterile room. My mother had left late last night, as had everyone else. I was left alone. Me and my baby. I slipped out of my bed and began to tip-toe through the silent corridors, on my way to the nursery. Finally, I reached the window. My eyes were immediatly glued to Ryanne, who was now awake. She was almost smiling. And then...in a chair next to her...was Darin. His eyes were closed, and his head was drooping onto his shoulder. My heart sank - I had deprived him of a whole night of sleep. I creaked open the door to the nursery and softly stepped inside. All was quiet, most babies were sleeping. I crept over to Ryanne's bassinette, where she was patiently awaiting me. "Hi baby." I cooed softly. Ryanne held up her tiny arms and made a delighted squealing noise. I jumped, looking frantically over at the snoozing doctor. "No...No Ryanne. Shhh." I whispered. But, Darin had already jerked awake. He looked around, dazed, until he saw me. A smile spread across his face. I frowned. "You really didn't have to stay all night." I scolded, picking up Ryanne out of the bassinette and cuddling her close. "The nurses come back on duty at four." But Darin simply shook his head. "The nurses are assigned to watch all babies. Now, I've assigned myself to watch your baby, Miss Marie." he said with a playful grin. "Why my baby?" I questioned with an eyebrow raised. At this, the doctor looked stumped. Tounge tied, at most. Finally, he managed to come up with a reason lie. "Your baby is just special." he muttered, a pink flush rushing to his cheeks. I wasn't convinced. i could see what was going on here. And I didn't like it. I was no where near ready for any sort of romance. No matter if he had stayed awake all night to watch my baby. I scoffed at him and then, holding Ryanne, I left him sitting dumbstruck in his chair.

The days passed on in the hospital quietly. I didn't have many visitors anymore - just my mother and sister most of the time. When I wasn't asleep, I was with Ryanne. I talked to her. I told her about her father. Since she was so young and didn't understand, it was easier to tell her now then when she was older. Mostly, my stay at the hospital was uneventful. Except for Darin. Obviously, Darin hadn't given up. Every morning when I went to collect Ryanne, he was there in his chair, looking worse for wear. Dark, gray circles had begun to develop under his eyes, and he was getting paler and paler from lack of sleep. But he always managed to shoot me a smile when I walked silently into the nursery. At first, I just ignored his charms and left with my baby. But soon...he began to grow on me. I started having conversations with him in the mornings. Those conversations turned into long talks when he visited my room on his break. I began to grow very fond of him...his eyes were the same shade of blue as Ryan's had been. Ryanne had obviously grown found of him as well. She loved him. He always brought her new toys to play with and made her giggle. It made me smile - I had found he was good at doing that, as well. But then, the time came when Ryanne and I were allowed to go home. After I had packed and dressed into my normal clothes on the morning of my departure, I made my last trip to the nursery to get Ryanne. And, standing there holding my baby was Darin. There was a soft sorrow in his tired eyes as he looked at me.

"Is this the last time I'll see you?" he asked quietly. I looked at him with soft sorrow in my eyes as I took my cooing baby from his arms. "I don't know." I answered just as softly. He sighed and looked down at the cold white floor. I stood and watched him, waiting for any answer. He finally looked up and asked, "Do you want to see me again?" I opened my mouth, but closed it quickly. To be honest, I wanted to say no. I didn't want to be with someone romantically ever again. I wanted Ryan to be the only one who ever held my heart. But...then mental images began to flash in my head. Ryanne laughing and cooing sweetly in Darin's arms. Our long talks on his breaks. Waking up on the first day to see that he had stayed with my baby all night when I couldn't. His bright blue eyes that reminded me so much of Ryan's..."Yes." I said confidently. A smile spread across his face when I said it, and he reached for my hand. I would've quickly withdrawn, but I let him brush his hand against mine. "I'll be over at seven on Friday night." He said enthusiastically, which made me grin. I nodded to him as I turned back around, leaving the nursery for the last time with Ryanne in my arms, grinning and making sweet baby sounds.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was almost beginning to regret ever speaking with her.
Sure, in the short time I had spent with Marie, I had honestly fallen. I had never felt such an emotional attraction to someone that I had just met, which made her all the more fascinating to me. It was hard to bear at some times. But, there were some flaws to her. Obviously, after whatever happened to her significant other before I met her, she had put up a lot of walls. A lot of walls I would have to break down if this was supposed to work out well. The thought was driving me crazy - what if I wasn't able to help her? What if I never found out about her past? I was afraid to ask - what if she got offended, or scared? What if I scared her away by asking? Thing was...I had to know. If...If I was going to be apart of her life, as well as Ryanne's, I should know who the father of her child. When I had gone over on Friday, she had been smiling and flushed, but her eyes...the happiness did not touch her dull, sad eyes. I wanted nothing more then to see those eyes light up again. But, I wanted to see them light up because of me. I knew that I had to say something. And, believe me, I felt stupid that I ever did.

It was a few weeks after I first met her. The two of us had been seeing each other over those few weeks. I had gone to her place, we had gone for coffee, and shopping. Tonight, we went out to eat. As she was sitting there, telling me about her day with Ryanne, it just...came out. "What happened to Ryanne's father?" I blurted. First, she looked confused, as if she was trying to process what I had just said. Then, her dull eyes spread to the rest of her face. And, I saw emotions from those eyes that I hadn't seen yet. Sadness. Shock. Pain. Heartbreak. She simply stared at me, and I swear I could see tears brimming in her magenta eyes, brimming and spilling out onto her cheeks. She looked nervously around the restruant as she wiped them away. Then she looked at me with some unspoken rage and anger. "Why is it that everyone that comes in contact with me only cares about what happened in my past?" she growled as she pushed away from her table, getting up to leave. "No, Marie, please wait!" I pleaded, jumping up as well and following her out the door. People were staring as we made our leave. "Marie, please!" I begged as I tailed hopelessly after her. She whipped around, fury in her eyes. "And why does it matter to you what happened to Ryanne's father?" she snapped. "Marie...why wouldn't it matter?" I croaked defensivly. She scoffed. "Maybe because I want to put the past behind me." All I wanted to do at that moment was wipe that sorrowful scowl off her face and make her smile again. But, I knew this was something that needed to be talked about. "No, you don't." I said very quietly. She became twisted with fury. "Say's who!?" she yelled. "Marie, please calm down. I just need to understand..." "Understand what, Darin?" she screamed. I flinched softly, stung. Then, I cleared my throat softly and whispered, "I need to understand why you're eyes are so hard and cold all the time. I need to understand why you won't let me break down your walls." At this, I could tell Marie's anger was beginning to diminsh. Her eyes softened, and I could see tears brimming out of them. "His name was Ryan." she said softly. Ryan...so that's where she had gotten the name for her child. "After three years of dating, I found out that I was expecting. So, he proposed to me. And...the day before the wedding on the way to the reherasal dinner, he got into a car accicent." She began to wipe away her tears as she continued her story. But it didn't do any good. They continued to flow even more so. "I loved him, Darin." she wimpered before burying her face in her hands. Her shoulders were shaking violently as she sobbed. I walked close to her and put an arm around her gently. "Marie...I'm so sorry." I muttered softly. "I can only imagine how hard that must've been for you to loose the father of your child. But..." I hesitated. Her tear stained face peered up at me from behind her silver hair, waiting for me to finish explaining. "But I love you too. And, I know that I could never, ever compare to or replace your past fiance. But, I need you to know that I'm here. I'm here for you and Ryanne. And, I will do everything in my power to never leave." I murmmered. At this, she lifted up her head to look at me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and laid her head on my shoulder. She didn't say anything. She didn't need to.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That night when I took her home, we walked into the living room where baby Ryanne was laying asleep in her small crib. Marie picked her up and held her close, and then turned to look at me. When she did, her rosy eyes were twinkling.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

| the end |

[lorreli.]

depth ( m ) ------------------------------------------ slit ( f )

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"They don't understand me." she whispered softly.

"They don't understand me, either." I replied sympathetically.

"They think I'm hideous..." she began to get choked up,
And I could see tears sliding down her face.

I looked at her for a long time, my eyes grazing over her folded wings,
The spikes on her shoulders, and her stealthy sharp claws.
Her short, reptilain tail and her long, forked tounge.
The twisted horns protruding from behind her ears,
Sticking out of the tuft of her light green hair.

"I think you're beautiful." I told her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[lorreli.]

Lucy ( f ) ---------------------------------- Daimien ( m )

"Hey Lucy, I remember your name.
I left a dozen roses on your grave today.
I'm in the grass on my knees,
Wipe the leaves away.
I just came to talk for awhile.
Got some things I need to say..."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucy Pennington
8/21/08
You will be remembered and loved

I walked through the graveyard, the soft grass squishing sloshily below my feet. The rainstorm last night had left the muddy ground damp and watery, but that didn't stop me. Up on the hillside was her gravestone. The earth below it had once been muddy, but after three years, grass had grown and a few flowers had started to sprout. Around the sleek gray tombstone were a few other gifts - a heart shaped wreath of pink roses, a few tulips, a tiny stone angel. I looked at my dozen roses and made a face. I was always so predictable. But she knew that. I knelt down next to the stone and laid down the flowers. I put my hand to my mouth and squeezed my eyes closed, trying not to cry. If she were here, she wouldn't want me to. Lucy never liked to see my cry, even when she rarely did. She wouldn't want me to wallow in my sorrow next to her grave, either. But, every Sunday, I did the very same thing. I came to her gave and just sat for an hour ever Sunday and just...talked. "Hey Luce." I said quietly as I picked up my wilting roses from last Sunday and tossed them aside, wiping the mud off the bottom of the tombstone as I did so. "Do you know what today is?" I asked gently. As I sat down across from the stone, I imagined her playful voice asking what day it was. "It's Valentine's day." I replied to the air. "See? I got some pink flowers in the boquet for the occasion." I softly stroked the silky petal of the single pink rose. "I know how much you liked the pink ones..." I murmmered. Still no response. I felt the wind pick up and a shiver went up my spine. The tears that were streaming down my cheeks were flying off my face as the rush of air streaked past. I sat there for what seemed like hours just watching her grave, as if I half expected her to dig her way out and pop up with a grin, laughing like she had fooled us. But I had been waiting for that for almost three years. As the sun began to set and the light had gone from the cemetary, I stood off, not bothering to clean off the mud on me. I let my fingers brush the grave before I retreated back down the hill to my car, which was parked on the graveyard road.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey Lucy, I remembered your birthday.
They said it'd bring some closure to say your name.
I know I'd do it all different if I had the chance.
But all I got are these roses to give,
And they can't help me make amends."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I could hear the doves in the tree above Lucy's grave chirping in the miday sun as I trudged my way up the hill. It was August eighteenth...three days before the third year anniversery. Also, today was Lucy's birthday. I was carrying the usual roses in my hand. Finally, I got up to the stone for what seemed like the thousandth time. Maybe it was. I removed the old, dry roses and laid the new ones. "Happy Birthday, Luce." I said, trying to smile for her. She always told me she loved my smile. I sat down crosslegged before her, the sun beating down on my back. "Twenty three, eh? Geez Luce, we're getting a little old aren't we?" I said jokingly as a tear escaped the corner of my eye. I brushed it away nonchallantly, trying not to cry on her birthday. I had cried the past two birthdays, and I promised her this year I'd be strong. "I had planned on getting a better presant..." I began to explain. "But money's a little tight these days. But I did manage to sneak another pink rose into your boquet." I held up the flowers and pointed to the hot pink one. "I was going to go with the pastel pink one - it seemed more you. But I did that for Valentine's day, so I figured that I'd go brighter for the birthday." I laid the flowers back down on the stone, patting them reassuringly. I felt like, for the hundreth time, I was waiting for a cocky answer or her chime-like laugh. And, again, all I got was the soft breeze and the doves cooing. Finally, I broke down. Tears dribbled down my face, which I buried in my hands. "I'm...sorry..." I choked. "I know I'm ruining your birthday." No reply. I stayed there and cried until the sun went down, when I knew I had to leave or the graveyard warden would chase me away.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Now that it's over,
I just wanna hold her.
I'd give up all the world to see
That little piece of heavan looking back at me.
Now that it's over,
I just wanna hold her.
I've gatta live with the choices I've made.
And I can't live with myself today."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you sure you want to drive all the way to the airport?" I had asked her.
She just laughed at me. "Dai, calm down. I'll be fine."
"Can't you please put me at ease and let me drive you?" i begged.
She rolled her eyes. "Are you questioning my driving? I'm a safe driver."
That made me grin. "I know that. But the highway will be crazy,
All the people going out for last minute vacation."
"Oh please, Daimien, stop being so melodramatic.
I'm just driving a half an hour away, I'll be fine."
I sighed as she made her way to the door, carrying her bags.
"I'll see you in a week." she told me as she hugged me goodbye.
"Please, just promise me you'll be safe." I muttered to her.
She opened the front door and kissed me goodbye.
"You worry to much." she said with a grin.
I just rolled my eyes and watched her make her way to her car in the driveway.
"I love you!" She called to me before she disapeared behind her car door.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

As I drove to the cemetary on that warm, balmy August morning, I thought of the last time I saw her. Unlike many other couples that lost their loved one in a car accident, I got to hug and kiss her and hear her say she loved me before she left. But, the shock was that I had no idea it would be the last time. As I pulled up to my normal stop, I could see the stone in the shade of the tree looming over it. As soon as I stepped foot out of the car, I could hear the song of the two doves up in that tree, serenading Lucy in her eternal sleep. The song made me smile bittersweetly - doves were always Lucy's favorite birds. Once at the top of the hill, I laid the bloodred roses on the grave, and this time, I didn't fakely smile. "Just red today, Lucy." I whispered before the tears came down. Soon, I was swept off my feet. I couldn't stand any longer. I looked pathetic, just a wimpered lump next to her grave. But I'm sure she didn't mind my pathetic state - this would've been the day she allowed me to cry. As the day wore on and I continued to lie next to her stone, the tears welling endlessly and lying in a pool in the grass, the doves continued to sing. By the time I had sat up and my eyes had seemingly cried themselves dry, a thought had occured to me. "Hey Lucy...do you remember when you told me about your favorite birds?" I began quietly. "Do you remember you telling me that, when a dove finds it's mate, they stay mates as long as they both live? And when one dies, the other one never finds another mate?" I stared up at the two cooing white birds intently. "I think we're like those birds, Luce." I whispered, a smile on my face. When I left, there were tears streaming down my face, but there was also a melancholy smile. Truth be told, Lucy and I were like those birds that mated for life. One never stops loving the other, even if the other is dead and gone. Lucy and I were doves. Even if she was gone, I still loved her. Her and only her. And when I died, we'd be together again.
Mates for life.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Here we are,
Now you're in my arms.
I never wanted anything so bad.
Here we are,
For a brand new start.
Living the life that we could've had.
Me and Lucy walking hand and hand.
Me and Lucy never wanna end.
Just another moment in your eyes.
I'll see you in another life."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I love you too, Luce!" I grinned and yelled back as she got into her car and pulled out of our driveway
On that warm, August morning. The twenty-first, three days after her twentieth birthday.
Just a month after our wedding, and today
Exactly five years ago - we first met.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey Lucy, I remember your name..."

song - "Lucy" by Skillet

[lorreli.]

utopia ( f ) ------------------------------- ezra ( m )

Death is no limit to love...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She exceeded any beauty I had every seen.
She was a serene, gorgeous creature.
She had a spark in her laugh and a twinkle in her eye.
And, above anything else...
I wanted her.

I followed her throughout her daily life,
Watching, waiting.
Hoping that, maybe today would be the day she noticed me.
It never was.

She was leading a lifestyle that didn't involve me.
She was everything. I was nothing.
She was beautiful and loved.
I was ugly and unknown.

Since the first time I saw her, I loved her.
But, I wasn't the only one.
She had plenty of admirers following her.
I was insignificant.

She didn't even know my name...
Until the day of the accident.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Make a wish when your childhood dies
Here the knock, knock, knock when she cries
We’re all alone tonight"

It was a typical afternoon.
But aren't all afternoon's typical?
To me they always were.
Nothing ever changed.
I was walking home, as I usually did. She was walking with her many friends just in front of me. I could see her throw back her head in laughter that I could not hear. But it made my smile, which was a rairity. Then, I was at the corner where I had to cross. She walked on with her friends. I couldn't take my eyes off her - she looked particularly beautiful that day. Absentmindedly, I began to cross the street, not looking away. My eyes followed her as she began to turn the corner a street away. As she did, she turned her head. And, in my shock and awe, her gaze landed on me. At first, she looked confused. Then, she smiled and waved. My heart was beating out of my chest. She...noticed me...I stopped dead in my tracks and began to wave back at her. Suddenly, her eyes grew wide and she stopped waving. I dropped my hand and cocked my head to the side in confusion. She started to scream my name. "Ezra! Move!" She yelled frantically. But I didn't register the second word she said. I was only thinking of one thing...

She knew my name.

Just then, I felt a heavy force knock the breath out of me. I figured out why she had been screaming. A car had been barreling down the road, not having seen me. Maybe not having cared. The car knocked me onto the dark pavement. Then everything went black. The last thing I remember hearing was the gasps of Utopia's friends as the car collided with me, and her screams. Screaming my name. The last time I saw her, I knew. I knew that I wasn't invisable to her. Everything fell into place in that one moment. That one moment was gone in a flash as the life was knocked out of me by the car that I hadn't seen. Maybe if I would've moved in time, I would've gotten the nerve to walk up the street to the corner she was at and talk to her. Maybe she would've fallen in love with me. But, after the fact, I found out that she was already in love with me.

I remember the funeral - I was there. Almost everyone I knew was there. Yet, I wondered why. I didn't know these people even knew my name. But everyone was very weepy - lots of people got up and gave speeches about me. But I wasn't listening. I was watching her. She was very still, wiping tears out of her eyes. She was sitting at the very back of the church, while all her friends were in the front. She was dressed in all black, and she was wearing a very forlorn expression. At the very end of the procession, as people filed out, she sat rigid in her seat. Her friends past her, looking at her very sympathetically. She sat in that spot for awhile, until everyone had cleared out of the church. And then she got up and made her way to the casket. Her expression remained stoney as she laid a hand on the glass seperating us. Finally, she spoke. "I loved you, did you know that?" her voice was very whispery. But I could hear it all the same. "I never had the guts to tell you, I know. I should've done it sooner." Tears dribbled down her cheeks as she explained her unsaid feelings, but she felt obliged to continue on. "I've loved you for a really long time. Since I first saw you, actually." she muttered. "It was the first day of third grade. I was playing tag with my friends. You were sitting in the shade of a big oak tree, all alone. I remember running by that tree and wondering...'Why is that boy all alone?' I was going to run and talk to you, but I was too shy." she laughed softly. "I ran past that tree trunk so many times during that game of tag, just to look at you." Now she was smiling through her tears - I was heartbroken to see it. Finally, she pressed her hand to her lips and then laid her hand on my casket before turning away and out the church doors.

As soon as that door closed, my eyes flew open.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They say that there are reasons a person remains undead. Sometimes, it's because you're afraid of the afterlife. Other times, it's for no reason at all. But, right as my eyes opened that night, as my casket was laid under the ground, I realized why I was undead. I was undead for a purpose, you see. A reason. I was given a second chance at loving Utopia, as I should have when I was alive.

Not everyone gets second chances.

That night, when the gravediggers had gone, I began to dig my way out of my grave. Once I had poked through the ground, I heard the deep rumbles of thunder and the rain splashing down on my gray and white skin. As I covered the muddy ground back up, to make sure there was no evidence that I had escaped. As I started down the hill, sloshing through the mud, I took a quite look at myself in a small puddle of rainwater. The reflection staring back at me was gastly. My blue eyes had disapeared, and all that was left was empty sockets. My skin was pasty and grayish white, and I was thin. Too think. My ribs were poking out severely. I was even frightened by the image - but what would Utopia think? Nevermind that now, though. Second chances always come with a price. This was mine. I was a zombie. But right now was not the time to worry about appearances. I hate to get to Utopia, and fast. But how to convince her that it was really me?

"Never mind about the shape I'm in
I’ll keep you safe tonight"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

end part 1

[size=50]Song - "S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W" - my chemical romance <3

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was gone in a blink of my eye.
The carnevorus car hit him faster then I could say his name. It rammed into him and then...he was caught under the wheel. The car didn't stop, no. It sped on down the road, as if hit and runs were it's expertise. At that point, I didn't know what to do. So, I ran. I ran as fast as I could, ignoring the shrieks of protest from my friends behind me. When I reached him, I held my hand to my mouth and tried to stay focused. There was blood. Too much blood. I attempted to look away so I wouldn't faint, but somehow I couldn't take my eyes off him. He looked squased into the ground, and I could see where the tire tracks had impacted. His eyes were bloodred, and the blood was leaking from his mouth...finally, I began to feel dizzy. Just before I fell to the ground next to him, I heard the sirens. One of my friends had followed behind my and caught me before I was out cold, and dragged me frantically towards the sidewalk so we were out of the ambulence's way. I would've hoped and prayed that he was alive, but there was no way he could be. Finally, after I regained my strength, I watched as the bagged him and carried him away on a stretcher. Tears blurred my vision, and the last thing I remember seeing was the closing of the ambulence doors. I broke down into fits of sobs as the truck drove away. The sirens echoed my cries. "Ezra..." I begged as my friends tried desperately to get me back walking so we could just leave and forget what we saw. Maybe they would be able to forget, but I would never be able to dispose of the image of the collision.

His death spread like wildfire throughout our school the next day. Everyone acted like they felt so horrible. But I knew better then anyone else that no one really cared. Ezra had no friends, no admiriers, no girlfriend. Half the people in our school didn't even know his last name, probably not even his first. I was the only one that really cared. But, no one ever really knew that. Not even my best friends, thus their confusion over my desperate spiraling depression after his death. When the funeral came, I sat in the very last pew, away from my friends. I didn't want anyone to notice that, unlike their fake tears, mine were real. I watched as people got up and gave speeches on Ezra. His parents. His godfather. His English teacher. My heart was sinking - I should've been up there. But why would I? As the funeral ended, people began to file out, dabbing their eyes on Kleenex. Soon, I was the only one left in the church. I got up and looked around, just to make sure I was truely alone before I made my way to his casket. When I peered inside the glass, I saw the boy that I loved. They had cleaned him up at the hospital, because there was no longer scarlet blood stains on his skin. His eyelids had been carefully closed, and he was wearing a peaceful expression. I covered my mouth with my hand and closed my eyes, trying not to cry. And then, I began to speak. I told him how I felt, something I had then realized I should've done a long time ago. Recalling the memory of the first time I saw him, I smiled bittersweetly. Soon, I could see the sun going down from behind the colorful mosaics. The gravediggers were walking into the church, and it was time for his casket to be buried. I left with my last goodbye, and walked down the aisle, my black heals clicking on the tile loudly as I creaked open the door and slid out. I saw a flash of lightning light up the dark sky as water bullets began to pour down. I walked out in the storm and began to walk home, drenched in the rainwater and my own sorrow.

Two weeks past quietly. The homecoming dance was coming up...the dance that I had been planning to ask Ezra to. My friends had abadonned me about a week after the funeral - the were scared of my new emotions. They didn't understand what I was so cut up about. I became a loner. People no longer acknowledged me when I walked down the halls. I began to wonder...was this how it felt to be Ezra? Walking down the hall, no one meeting your gaze, no one saying hello and sitting alone at the lunch table? It was a rotten feeling, truthfully. But I began to realize that this was the life Ezra had lived since he was a child. I just needed more practice at getting used to it, you see.

When homecoming rolled around, I wore my dress and showed up at the event. I was ignored. The music blasted from the speakers and people laughed and yelled. My face was solem as I stood in the corner. No one asked me to dance, no one commented on my apparel. Soon, I was driven outside. It was a cool night, and there was a full moon. I sat down on the front steps of the school, laying my chin in the palm of my hand and staring out in the night. What would this dance have been like if Ezra were still alive? I could imagine myself smiling and laughing along with everyone else, and Ezra grinning shyly like he always did. We would dance to slow songs, and Ezra would probably trip over his own two feet like he did. I wiped a tear from the corner of my eye as the image of happiness was gone from my head. The sad truth was...Ezra was gone. I would never see his rare, shy smile or his bright blue eyes again...then came a rustle from the bushes next to the stairs. I jumped, startled. "Who's there?" I said softly to the night. No reply. More rustling in the bushes. My heart began to pound. And soon, a creature immerged from the green leaves. My eyes grew wide and I let out a scream. Looking right at me was a...monster. Something unhuman. The figure in front of me had deep jet black hair, grayish white skin, and...the worst part...empty eye sockets. It was skinnier then an alley cat, with severe ribs poking out on either side of it's torso. In the light of the full moon, it looked incredibly ghastly. My face was frozen in a shocked, horrified look. I ran up the stairs and made a grab for the door, but it was locked. The figure made it's way up the stairs, an pasty arm outstreched. I screamed like mad.

"Utopia! Please! Hush!" the voice pleaded to me.
My eyes grew wide...how did it know my name?
I continued to scream bloody murder as it advanced on me.
But soon, it had me cornerned, and it covered my open mouth with one hand.
My eyes opened wide, shocked as I was silenced.

"Utopia...it's me. Ezra."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My eyes began to grow wide, my mouth dropping in silent shock behind Ezra's hand. My eyes stared into the black sockets where his electric baby blues should've been. He grinned almost sheepishly at me, and my heart began to pound. That smile...I would recognize it anywhere. It was Ezra. On my first impulse, i knocked his hand away and went to throw my arms around his neck. But when I did so, I felt him cringe uncomfortably and groan in pain. I jumped back, unsure of what I'd done. Ezra rubbed the back of his neck softly, making a face as he did. It dawned on me that, Ezra was technically dead. His bones were incredibly brittle and breakable. He was as fragile as a baby black bird. But, he didn't seem to mind the pain all that much. He was grinning at me. "That was a better reaction then I thought I'd get." he said with a soft chuckled. My cheeks flushed softly, and I smiled at him. Gently, I reached my hand up and rested it on his cheek. His gray skin was ice cold, and I felt a shiver go down my spin. But, I didn't withdraw my hand. I softly moved my thumb across his cheekbone, soothingly. He closed his eyes and a lazy smile appeared on his lips. If he were a cat, he would've purred. Gently, he reached up and laid his ice cold hand over top of mine. We stood there in that position for a while, as if we didn't want the moment to end. Finally, he opened his eyes and gently removed his hand, taking mine with it and holding it. He looked up at the school, and then at me. "Homecoming, huh?" he asked with a smirk. I nodded and added quietly, "I was going to ask you," At this, he gave me a melancholy smile. I smiled bittersweetly back. Then, something dawned on him. He began to grin. "We can have our own homecoming, you know." He muttered, brushing a piece on loose hair away from my face. I looked up at him, puzzled. "How?" If his eyes were still in place, they would be shining. He held onto my hand and began tugging, leading me down the stairs. "Just trust me." he said with a grin. Then he led me into the night.

"If you stay, I would even wait all night.
Or until my heart explodes.
How long until we find our way
In the dark and out of harm?
You can run away with me anytime you want."

I never thought I'd be slow dancing in a graveyard. But here I was.
Ezra and I had walked acorss town, the light of the moon guilding us on our journey. When we arrived at the gates, he bowed and offered his hand to me. And here we were, beneath the tree where Ezra's grave stood. The moon's light was shining through the branches that were beginning to go bare, their leaves dropping off and littering the ground around us like nature's confetti. I had my arms very gently laid around Ezra's neck, and his on my waist. The only music we had were the cricket's hiding in the brush and the soft swaying of the branches and the wind gusted through them. It was the most beatiful music I had ever heard. I'm not even sure how long the two of us were there. I lost track. I hadn't even been counting. I'm sure my parents would soon be wondering where I was. Old friends would look for me at the dance, and when I wasn't found, they would assume I went home early. But none of that mattered. Here, in Ezra's arms, time stopped. Or, at least for a few hours. Soon, the sun was rising from underneath the horizon, and the sky was turning a rosy pink. Ezra sighed and let go of me, giving me a soft, sad look. "You should be going now." he told me gently. I shook my head in protest, and opened my mouth to ask the inevitable question. But he answered it for me before it was even out of my mouth. "Don't worry, you'll see me again." he said with a soft chuckle. As the sun came up, Ezra began to retreat to the mausoleum, where he hid out during the day. The sunlight was bad for him, so he had to stay in the cover of darkness until nightfall. That left me alone to walk down the dark pavement, holding my heels in one hand and pushing the iron cemetary gate with the other. As the orange glow of the sun came up, I made my way home on that Saturday morning, feeling fuller and happier then I ever had. Ezra was alive...in a way. Because of me. Our love defied even death.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The stars were out tonight, and the moonshine guided me down the path towards the cemetary gates for the fifth week in a row. I had been sneaking out of my house at midnight every night since we danced by his gravestone. My eyes shined in the darkness as a thrill of foreboding shook me. I reached for the gate and creaked it open, slipping inside and softly clicking it closed. Then, I set off at a run through the winding roads in the graveyard. Finally, I came upon the hill. Under the oak tree, leaning against his own grave was Ezra, a coy smile playing on his face. I grinned as I rushed to him. plunking down next to him. Softly, he kissed my forehead and gently laid my head on his cool shoulder. I closed my eyes as he gently stroked my hair and we watched the moon shine reflect off the surface of the lake next to the mausoleum. "Utopia?" Ezra whispered to me. I looked up at him, a smile on my face. "Yes?" "I love you." my heart softly pounded in my chest as I wrapped my arms around his think waist, soft tears streaming down my face. "I love you too."

Everyone believes that, after death, the love is dead as well.
Well, I believe that death is no limit to love.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the end <3

song - "Summertime" - my chemical romance

[lorreli.]

reserved

[lorreli.]

luke -------------------- vienna

"Don't worry, Vienna. I still have a few more days!" I said in a comforting way. She just shook her head.
"Luke, we need more then a few days." she mumbled. I sighed.
"How much time could we possibly need to finish our game?" I asked.
Vienna looked at me with her watery blue eyes and huffed.
"That's not what I mean! And you know it!" she said crossly as she turned away from me. I could tell I had upset her.

Vienna and I had been dreading the day ever since we found out about her case of PPS. Because then we knew that, when the time came that I would have to grow up, I would have to leave my childhood friend behind. She had begged me not to leave her, that even if I was grown, we could still play our adventure games. I didn't have to go. But we both knew that option was not one we could take into consideration. And, as the day loomed over us and the time was getting nearer, she was getting anxious.

"Vienna...I know. I'm sorry." I said quietly. I heard soft sniffling coming from her, and her shoulders were shaking.
"I don't want you to leave, Luke. You're my best friend." she wimpered.
"I know. But no matter what, I promise I'll keep in touch." I tried to ease her crying. But it didn't work.
"Yea, but not for long. When you grow up, Luke, you'll find a new star. I won't ever find another moon." she sniffed.

Ever since we were young pups, Vienna and I had referred to each other as star and moon. She was my shining shooting star, and I was her glowing moon. It had always mostly been used as a joke between us. But this was no joking matter.

"You'll always be my star, Vienna." I said in a hushed voice, putting my arm around her as she shook.
She gulped back her salty tears and whispered, "Promise?"
I smiled reassuringly. "Promise. Now, let's go finish our game."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The night before I was to leave to go out into the world, to grow up, I laid on the dewey grass next to Vienna. This would be the last time I would see her. The full moon was casting it's glow throughout the night, bathing the Earth in it's bright shadow. The stars were twinkling like diamonds against the black curtain sky. A certain star blared the brightest, close to the moon. Vienna tugged on my shirt and pointed to the bright star. I turned my head to look at her to see that she was grinning happily.
"That one is me, Luke. It's cause it's closest to the moon, which is you." she smiled at me. "When you gatta grow up and go out into the world and you can't see me anymore, promise me you'll look up at that star and think of me?" she held out her pinky. I locked mine with hers.
"Promise."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"there's a light show out my window
somewhere way up there.
dear vienna, are you singing?
dear vienna, are you swinging?

dear vienna, we were happy
like the shades of may
when we got carried away."

-owl city, "dear vienna"

[lorreli.]

"if you could, would you ask
for moonbeams in a heart of glass?
for sun rays on a silver sea?
or would you ask for...me?"

the sun casts constellations as it shines on her, shimmering in the bright light. and then, along each tiny fracture, the light bends, casting the pink glow in every different direction until the light cascades all around her. she glows like a magenta sunset, and shimmers like a sharp pink jewel. for she was a jewel. a stained glass perfection. her edges are weathered, not as sharp as she used to be. a treasure that floated up from the sea foam to be seen by all, her beauty glorified in the mid afternoon sun. and as she lays in the wet sand, i wait for her to be carried back to me, so i may possess her beauty once more. to hide her deep in my depths, to keep her safe from harm. to watch as the sun breaks through the surface of the azul water and make her glitter on the ocean floor, just for me.

but i was a fool. i tried to keep her all for myself for too long. it was time for me to face the consequences.

as the sun began to dip below the horizion for the day, the glow surrounding her began to dim. as the tide began to rise and i began to pull her back in, i began to realize something. just on her side, there was a crack. a deep crack. sand stuck in the wound, eroding away the pink glass. the salt water did not help, dragging her in and spitting her out each day. then, I really began to look at her. under the orange sky, without the shine eminating from her body, I noticed more fractures. a dozen, maybe even more, scaring her beautiful body. my heart saddened as i looked at her, fragile and almost broken. maybe it was time that i left her in one place, not spewing her out onto the shore day in and day out. but as i began to pull her closer, i could hear faint cracklings. the unmistakable noise of splintering glass.

and then, my beautiful treasure cracked into pieces. along each fracture line, the glass creaked and shattered. she was breaking. frantically, i began to heave, trying to pull her back in before she was to break. but i was too late. she had already shattered, her jeweled body scattered along the shoreline, sticking in the sand. no matter how much i pulled and heaved, none of her fragments would come back with me. my heart was saddened, and i began to weep. waves raged onto the shore, dousing everything in sight. i had broken her. i had displayed her as a treasure, and a prize to be won. to use her for my own pleasure, to watch the sun rays dance off of her to entertain me. and i had shattered her. finally, i grew tired. the tide began to go down, and I watched the pieces of glass stick in the sand, to be buried and burrow under the warm grains. to never shine in the sun again.

I was a proud fool. even i denied that my glass treasure could break.

mostly, she was reduced to bits and pieces. you would never be able to guess what she had once been. but there was one piece that had not broken, or fractured. it was in the shape of a heart. as the moon rose into the sky, it reflected the milky white light, filling up with moonbeams. her heart reflected the moon, not the sun. she was meant to reflect in the lonely night, not in the bright hot sun. and i had ruined her with my greed and my pride.

"if you could, would you ask
for moonbeams in a heart of glass?
for sun rays on a silver sea?
or would you ask for...me?"

(mindless rambings? xD)

[lorreli.]

"Now, I'm going to count you off. Ready?"

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, and butterflies whipping around in my rib cage.
Why had I done this? What if I just humiliated myself in front of him? In front of all of them?
But there was no time to comtemplate this. We were about to start.

"One, two, ready, go."

And they were off. I could hear the familiar baseline, the so recognizable piano riff.
It soon came time for me, for my important part.
Hesitantly, I began to croon out the words, a little shaky, a little nervous.
But when he started off on his guitar solo, concentrating hard on his fingers,
A little smile playing on his lips as he did so...
My heart took flight.

As I began to come in again, my voice reaching a higher confidence now,
I shot I look at him. Behind his shades, he could've been looking anywhere.
But somehow, I could tell he was watching me.

As the song went on, I gained full confidence, singing out and loud and proud.
We sounded pretty dang good, I'll admit.
But when we finally ended, and then drummer tapped out his last beat,
The boys erupted in jubilation. Their excitement brought a smile to me face.
It brought happiness to fill me up inside, no matter how I was feeling that day.
There, in that basement, after just running through it one time, I began to think...

This is where I belong.

( <3 based on a personal expierence )