my boy?? my boy?????? my dirty rowdy crime boy?? my real fun boy? fun lookin fun havin rowdy dirty boy? garbage boy good boy nice boy??? my perfect special boy. beautiful boy. silly goofy boy. nasty ball pitt boy. NICE!!!!!!!!!!!
Username;; asperatus;
Name;; Rearden Oliver Onderdonk
Gender;; demiboy [they/them or he/him]
Favorite Snack;; Hot Cheetos!One may ask, "Are those bloodstains?!" The answer is, in fact, maybe..? A more likely option is that Rearden is covered in Hot Cheetos dust.
Bonus Question;; Calbee?
It might get everywhere but he honestly doesn't mind. They can get it out of their fur down the road which is really what matters! Literally, down the road. One of the many fun things about being in a stolen semi-truck is that you have many rest-stop opportunities. These are magical places where you can use the bathroom, wash your hands, and refill on snacks and drinks!
The utter convenience with these chips adds to their charm.
Just hid a body and you're feeling a bit hungry? No worries!! Cheetos got you covered. Need an excuse as to what's all over you? "Oh, just Cheeto dust!" AND YOU'RE SET TO GO! Robbing the cashier and getting your favorite snack has never been so convenient!
Rearden lives a very fast-paced existence, so being stuck somewhere trying to buy food isn't the greatest situation. There's been a few times where he had to abandon the Cheetos altogether and run off; moments like these greatly pain him.
Rearden has always prized 'spicy' over any other flavor. He'd never even known about Hot Cheetos for most of his life (appalling, really) but the moment he did, it was an instant love. His future was bonded to the hot cheeto from that moment until death. Never again would they settle for plain ol' jalapeño! The exhilarating spice from the Flamin' Hot snack fulfills their every picante desire.
All that an a wonderful little crunch with each handful. Eating his favorite junkfood really takes his mind off things. Dealing with trauma from the past is no fun, but shoving your mouth full of delicious florescent red puffs* is! Rearden prizes all the moments of distraction he gets in life, and can attribute a lot of it to munching on CHEETOS® Crunchy FLAMIN' HOT® Cheese Flavored Snacks.
*Cheetos may be in the chip isle, but they are in fact puffs. A chip is considered to be "a thin slice a thin slice of food made crisp by being fried, baked, or dried and typically eaten as a snack" (see definition for chip here.)
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