[w0ah]

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[20lait1]

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"Will I live my life battling the monster that hides inside?
Will I live my life afraid of myself?
Will I ever be free of this demon that hides behind my eyes?
Will I ever be able to spread my wings and fly free, like a hawk?"




Username: 20lait1
MW name: Hawk
Gender: Male

I was named after the hawks that soar through the sky. Especially the red tailed ones - a russet, autumn-like color when you look at it from the right angle. Like my fur, russet-cream, they are like jets through the sky. I hope I will one day fly through the sky and be free from myself.

I was young and foolish, once. I liked to go on little, makeshift adventures while my parents hunted. One day, I came across a cave - seeing nothing but adventure, I wandered in. I explored, at first, in the dim light - however, I had walked too far and came across pitch black darkness. I was afraid - of the dark, of how it was like a cage, squeezing me in its cold embrace. I ran blindly, not caring if I scraped myself on rocks - all I wanted was to be free of this darkness. However, I found myself even deeper than before - but I found light. I found myself in a tiny room, which was dimly lit with something - with what, I didn't know. I noticed a puddle of water - only then I realized how parched I was. I leaned down and drank deeply, thankful for the water. However, as I gazed at my reflection, I could swear it suddenly reared back. I jumped back in fright, eyes wide with fear as I gazed at my reflection.

My reflection suddenly twisted into a corrupted-looking version of me - to my eyes, anyways. It sneered at me, yellow eyes glowing - I could never forget that moment. I thought I heard a voice in my head - "Young hawk, so ambitious, so adventurous. But reckless - you will never be free from yourself, never be free from me..." I wasn't sure what happened next - I must have passed out, because the next moment I opened my eyes my parents were standing over me, worrying. They were half-mad with fear, worry and anger - only when I blinked my eyes open the tension broke. Suddenly they were sobbing and crying - I felt like doing it myself. Instead, I gulped some air and recited my tale into the cave. They shared a worried look - I don't think they believed me. They just curled up next to me and tried to act as if it never happened.

I can act as if it didn't - but I can't. I remember too clearly - my twisted face sneering at me. My dark eyes reflecting golden-red - my claws jagged and yellow. I couldn't believe that was me at all - but I knew. Somehow, I knew. And I was afraid that one day, that would be me.

"Do you think you can live your life free from the beast that hides inside?
Do you think you can actually forget about the real you?
Do you think you can hide from the demon that glows behind your eyes?
Do you think you can actually take your paws off the ground and fly away?"